


Metamorphosis

by Sueric



Series: Metamorphosis [1]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Canon - Anime, Canon - Manga, Canon Continuation, Comedy, Complete, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Psychological Drama, Romance, Surrogacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-27 18:29:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 82
Words: 263,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1719137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sueric/pseuds/Sueric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>InuYasha and Kagome discover that sometimes loving your friends means giving up a little part of yourself, too…  Originally housed at Mediaminer and FFnet.  81 Chapters + Epilogue Complete</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I am Kagome

The kitsune tiptoed through the tall grass, pausing to sniff the air now and then.  The myriad of late spring scents combined into a sweet aroma, a delicious succulence that made him smile, made him want to run, to jump, to laugh out loud.  Shaking his head slowly, he focused again.  He could smell her close at hand.  Her scent was warm, invigorating, like clothes dried in the sunshine.  
  
Kagome caught the swaying grass off to her left as she pretended not to notice Shippou's proximity.  The nearly nineteen year-old girl sighed and tried to concentrate on her text books.  ' _Six more weeks, Kagome.  You can do it!  Concentrate!_ '  It was a very real concern to her, passing her final exams.  If she did well on these, she'd graduate on time and in decent class rankings—both of which had been in question not so long ago.  
  
Flicking her raven-black hair over her shoulder as she leaned in closer to her books, Higurashi Kagome frowned in concentration as she absently fingered the slightly glowing pink orb that hung from a thin silver chain around her neck: the Shikon no Tama.  The Sacred Jewel of Four Souls.   Completed shortly after their final battle with Naraku just before her sixteenth birthday, she'd been protecting the jewel ever since.  The original plan had been to purify the jewel right away, to destroy it so that it couldn't inadvertently fall into the wrong hands.  
  
Funny how plans change.  Kagome sighed and closed the book with a loud snap.  The first wish they'd tried to make was that Midoriko, the miko whose soul was trapped inside the jewel along with a host of youkai, would win her battle with evil.  The jewel didn't change at all.  The second wish they'd made was that Kohaku, Sango's young brother—another victim of Naraku—would be brought back to live out his life as he should have done.  That hadn't worked, either.  The third wish had been that the well that connected Kagome's real world in modern Tokyo to this world in Sengoku Jidai would remain open to allow her to pass back and forth between the two since it was nearly impossible for her to make that sort of decision on her own.  Again, the jewel had ignored the wish.  
  
So they'd given up on trying to purify the jewel until they could figure out exactly what they needed to do to accomplish it.  Now, three years later, the jewel still existed, Kagome still used the well, and they still were no closer to finding answers than they had been on the day the jewel was completed.  
  
Rolling her slender shoulders to alleviate the tension below her neck, Kagome sighed and let her head fall back, absently noting how nice the warm sun felt on her skin.  With an exaggerated gasp of surprise as a blurry ball of giggling fuzz landed in her lap, Kagome hugged Shippou.  "I'm getting better, huh?" he demanded, his eyes bright, proud of his own ability to stalk his prey: in this case, her.  
  
"Absolutely," she agreed, giving Shippou another quick cuddle before the kitsune hopped out of her arms and dug into her backpack.  
  
Pulling out a box of milk chocolate pocky, Shippou plopped down and tore into the treat.  "Next time maybe InuYasha will take me with him when he goes hunting."  
  
She refrained from comment on that.  InuYasha had left early this morning on one of those hunting trips—or so he claimed.  That he went on these secretive little journeys about once a month, and that he always stayed gone for at least a week was something that bothered her even if she didn't ask him about it.  She had come close on a few occasions to asking him if he had gone to see Kikyou during those times.  Somehow she never had.  ' _You're scared of his answer_ ,' her conscience spoke up.  ' _You're afraid he'll look away from you without answering . . . You're afraid to see the guilt in his eyes as his ears droop . . . and you're afraid to feel like you're just a stupid, stupid girl_.'  
  
InuYasha.  The hanyou.  The son of a human mother and a youkai father, and not just any youkai, but the Inu no Taisho—possibly the most powerful youkai of his time.  Half dog youkai, InuYasha was gruff, rude, arrogant, condescending, irritating to a fault, jealous without any real reason—every single thing that a girl her age shouldn't ever want in a man.  So why did she?  
  
She sighed.  She'd been drawn to him from the start, before she even discovered how simple it was to be lost in the swirling gold of his gaze, before she'd even spoken to him.  She released him from the magical seal that bound him to the sacred God Tree—Goshinboku.   In return, he'd tried to take her head off with his claws, all because he wanted the Shikon no Tama.  That was all water under the bridge.  In time, he'd come to trust her, and she'd come to . . . Well, it was safe to say that she cared more for him than she ought to.  
  
Already a handsome boy, the passage of time hadn't changed InuYasha very much.  His silvery hair was a little bit longer, hanging well past his waist, unruly bangs that always fell into his eyes, the most adorable fuzzy little ears that flicked and turned like tiny triangular radars atop his head.  His eyes were uncanny, such an intense shade of golden, of amber, that if he didn't normally snap something rude when he caught her staring at him, she'd probably be more than happy to gaze into them all day.  
  
It was difficult to remember that he still appeared very boyish when those eyes burned into hers.  Only when he had his eyes closed was she able to discern the softness, the vulnerability that he fought so hard to hide.  There had been times in the past when she had felt like he might return her feelings.  The isolated moments were few and far between but remained precious to her, and in the deepest part of her soul, she knew that those memories were the ones she loved best, and that those memories were what compelled her to return time and time again.  
  
Not that she could really blame _everything_ on him.  She hadn't actually told him how she felt, had she?  Wrinkling her nose in the bright sunshine, Kagome's shoulders dropped as she raised her knees and wrapped her arms around her legs.  The biggest part of her reluctance to tell InuYasha how she felt was that she always got so tongue-tied around him lately.  Something had changed about him, and while she still felt completely safe when he was near, there was an underlying sense of nervousness there, too.  It was hard enough to deal with the confusing twist in her belly whenever she caught him looking at her, but there was something entirely frightening about the way she forgot to breathe when he was around, when he was close enough for her to smell the wind in his hair, the balmy scent of the woods that always clung to his clothes.  
  
Tightening her arms around her shins, noting with a sigh that she could feel her own heartbeat against her legs, she let her chin drop onto her knees as she wondered how long InuYasha would be gone this time.  She had overheard him talking to Miroku late last night.  She had gone to bed early even though she wasn't tired.  InuYasha had mentioned an old sage who might know something about the Shikon no Tama.  Kagome frowned.  It seemed to her that he was suddenly in a rush to purify the jewel.  ' _Maybe_ ,' she thought with a small grimace, ' _InuYasha's finally decided that he_ should _go with Kikyou, to hell_.'  
  
Miroku, the ex-monk, and Sango, the youkai exterminator, had told her time and again that InuYasha definitely cared for her, that he certainly wasn't planning on going to hell with Kikyou . . . Kagome wanted to believe them, and most of the time she did.  Still, the lingering doubt remained; the slight worry that she was wrong, that InuYasha would go, and that she would be left alone.  There were no real guarantees.  She sighed again.  
  
Unaware of the young woman's sudden upset, Shippou finished off his pocky, stowed the trash back in the bag, and ran off to play in the grass.    
  
Kagome sighed.  "Kikyou," she whispered, staring at the jewel once more.  Once upon a time, the jewel had been Kikyou's responsibility.  During InuYasha's search for it, he'd met Kikyou, and they had fallen in love.  When Naraku was born from the merging of Onigumo the thief and countless lesser youkai, he had appeared to each of them, had caused them both to think the other had betrayed them.  In the end, it was tragic since Kikyou chose to die instead of to live with the knowledge of the perceived betrayal.  Kikyou took the jewel with her, asking that it was burned with her body so that she could take it with her into the next world.  What Kikyou hadn't counted on was that it would resurface five hundred years later.  The Shikon no Tama had been housed inside Kagome's body since before she was born, and Kikyou's soul had been reincarnated into her, too.  
  
' _Talk about strange_ ,' Kagome thought with a shake of her head.  ' _It's laughable, really . . . I'm Kikyou's reincarnation but I'm not her.  I am Kagome . . . but we both care about InuYasha, and he does care about us, too_.'  
  
At least one couple had ended up together.  Miroku and Sango had gotten married shortly after the four of them, along with a little help from some allies, had defeated Naraku.  For the last three years, Sango and Miroku had been trying to start their family.  Kagome's deep brown eyes clouded with worry.  Sango, now close to five months pregnant, had yet carry a baby to term, and as much as Kagome wished she could help her, it broke her heart to know that, over the past three years, Sango had miscarried six times.  They were cautiously optimistic this time.  With one exception, Sango lost all the others within the first two months.  She'd carried one until nearly four months, but this time she'd managed nearly five . . .  
  
Though Sango always tried not to cry or break down, Kagome could feel her friend's pain.  Having lost her whole family as well as her entire village at the hands of Naraku, Kagome was of the opinion that she, more than anyone, deserved the blessing of children.  ' _Even just one_ ,' Kagome thought, idly plucking blades of grass and shredding them into miniscule bits.  
  
A sudden chill raced up her spine as the sun disappeared, obscured by a head she couldn't see.  The brightness of the sun behind him cast a blackness over his expression, and, tilting her head back to stare into the darkness where a face should have been, she felt her lips turn up in an impish smile.  "InuYasha . . . I thought you went hunting."  
  
Arms folded together in the copious sleeves of the fire rat haori he wore, InuYasha snorted loudly and stomped around her before sinking down on his haunches.  "Keh.  Thought you were goin' home," he remarked with a sneer, countering her question with one of his own.  Lips pursed together, slight frown drawing his eyebrows together, the hanyou settled into the look that Kagome had long ago deemed 'The Pout'.  
  
"I changed my mind," she answered with a slight shrug, her tone light.  "It was so peaceful and nice; I thought I'd study here, instead."  
  
"Don't you need to have your books open to study?" he demanded, staring pointedly at her closed textbooks.  
  
Undaunted by his apparent irritation, Kagome stuck her legs out and rolled over onto her stomach, crossing her ankles together as she bent her knees and leaned on her elbows.  "Why did you change your mind about leaving?"  
  
He shrugged.  "Who says I did?"  
  
She lifted her eyebrows in silent challenge.  "You're still here, aren't you?"  
  
"Keh!  I just stuck around to make sure _you_ went home, bitch," he growled.  
  
Narrowing her eyes at him, Kagome counted to five before she answered.  "Why are you in such a hurry to make sure I go back?"  
  
"Don't be stupid!  Because of the jewel, of course.  I can't leave your pathetic human ass here unprotected and you _ain't_ coming with me!"  
  
Refusing to let him see how upset she was by his brusque answer, Kagome leaned forward to drag her backpack over so she could stow her books away once more.  "Of course, the jewel," she replied, her tone light, fake.  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him wince and smash his ears against his head.  "I'll be going then . . . bye InuYasha."  
  
Shuffling briskly toward the well, Kagome repressed the urge to yell at the stupid hanyou.  ' _Baka!  Why does he always have to be such a baka?_ ' she fumed.  
  
"Oi!  Wait!  Kagome!"  
  
Against her better judgment, she stopped, whirling to face the irritating half-youkai as he ran over to her.  "Yes?"  
  
"You forgot this," he said with a loud snort, dropping her notebook into her hands.  "Now get movin'.  I ain't got all day to wait for you to leave."  
  
"Why, you . . . !"  Unsure if she was more irritated at his callous attitude or more angry at herself for daring to hope that he would say something—anything—even remotely nice, Kagome spun around on her heel and sat on the edge of the well, flipping her legs over the side.  "I'm going already!" she yelled.  "And I'm not coming back until you apologize, _baka!_ "  
  
And she dropped into the well.  


 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

Settling down at a table in the back of the media archive room in the library, Kagome dug her notebook and pen out of the backpack before she reached for the research listing.  Writing her thesis for health class on three of the most common human reproductive anomalies, Kagome's best bet for current information would be here, in the health journal updates.  
  
"Septate uterus," she mumbled as she leafed through the listings, running her finger down the page.  Finding one that looked promising, she jotted the issue number in her notebook as she started looking for more reproductive problems.  
  
' _InuYasha no baka . . . He'll never apologize_ ,' she thought, staring at the listing without reading the words.  ' _He never cares whether or not he hurts my feelings . . . why do I even bother?_ '  She made a face as a smaller voice in her mind told her not to try to answer that question.  More and more often lately, though, his irrational commentary sent her running home, where she was immediately faced with how miserable she really was on this side of the well.  
  
Storming straight inside the house when she'd emerged from the time slip, she'd had every intention of heading right up to her room to study.  Trouble with that was she'd never be able to concentrate up there.  Whenever she was alone, she spent far too much time worrying about InuYasha and what he was doing.  
  
" _Mama!  I'm back!_ "  
  
_Mrs. Higurashi came down the stairs and greeted Kagome with a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and a bright smile.  '_ At least someone's glad to see me _,' Kagome thought with a rueful sigh_.  
  
"I _wasn't expecting you back so soon," Mrs. Higurashi remarked as Kagome stretched and set her bag on the stairs_.    
  
" _I thought I'd get more studying done here than there," she lied_.  
  
" _Would you like a bath?  Are you hungry?  Kagome, I made sure you had sun-block!  You're getting a burn on your nose!_ "  
  
_Crossing her eyes to stare down the bridge of her nose, Kagome wrinkled the appendage and waved off her mother's concern.  "I have that thesis due, too," Kagome went on, ignoring her mother's complaints.  "I think I'll just go to the library and finish that up_."  
  
_"All right.  Will you be home in time for dinner?_ "  
  
_Kagome shrugged.  "I'll try.  I want to get the rest of my research out of the way, though_."  
  
_Her mother had followed Kagome to the front door.  After retrieving her bag, she'd made her escape with a sigh of relief and a guilty pang.  More and more often lately, too, it was harder to talk to her mother about things that were happening.  Of course, she knew that most kids went through a period when they didn't really want to tell their parents exactly what was happening in their lives.  Kagome hadn't really ever felt like that before, maybe because her mother had never really tried to pry_.  
  
Still, she was within weeks of graduating from school, and nothing really seemed any different than it had when she was fifteen and had fallen through the well, in the first place.  
  
"Higurashi?"  
  
Kagome gasped and jumped at the sound of the young man's voice.  Turning in her chair so quickly that she thumped her knee against the leg of the table so hard that she thought it might explode, she furiously rubbed as she tried to smile at Houjou.  "Houjou-kun!  What a pleasant surprise," she ground out, clenching her teeth together so tightly that her jaw hurt.  Blinking quickly to stave back painful tears, Kagome forced a smile, willing her voice to remain calm despite the agony in her limb.  "How have you been?"  
  
"Great, great . . . I've been working here part-time to help pay for college."  His expression darkened as his eyebrows drew together in concern.  "Are you all right?"  
  
' _No!  I broke my leg!_ '  She widened her smile.  "Yep, just fine!"  
  
He looked confused but nodded.  "I don't suppose you're free this weekend?"  A light flush broke over his cheeks, and his smile suddenly filled with shy embarrassment as he shook his head quickly.  "If you're busy . . ."  
  
Kagome winced.  True she never really had liked Houjou in a romantic way, but at least he thought enough of her to ask her on dates, even if it was a little silly.  With as many times as she had put him off or stood him up, though never intentionally, she would have thought he should have given up long ago.  "Houjou-kun . . ."  
  
"Eri-chan said you were seeing a guy but that he was two-timing you?  Higurashi . . . at the risk of offending you . . . This guy doesn't deserve you, if all he does is run around with other girls.  I mean . . . well . . . you deserve better."  
  
"All right," Kagome agreed quietly.  
  
Houjou looked amazed at her answer as a slow smile broke over his face.  "Really?"  
  
Kagome pasted on what she hoped was a bright grin.  "Sure.  I'm not . . . not seeing him anymore."  
  
"Great!  I'll pick you up at five?  Dinner and a movie?  I'll let you choose the movie."  
  
Kagome nodded.  "Five sounds . . . great."  
  
He crossed his arms over his chest and uncrossed them again, distinctly nervous.  He stepped back, right into a rolling shelf laden with books that he had been putting away.  A stack of them fell off with a huge crash.  Kagome bit her lip and hobbled over to help him pick them up.  
  
Bending down made her knee ache.  Her short skirt didn't hide it, and she winced to see the flesh on her right knee was already alarmingly mottled a hideous shade of blackish purple and seemed to be swelling at an alarming rate.  
  
Houjou, still suffering the effects of his acute embarrassment, told her he'd see her Saturday night before he pushed the cart out of the media archive room.  
  
Collapsing into the nearest chair at hand with a low moan as she surveyed the damage with a self-disgusted sigh, she couldn't help but note that Houjou hadn't even noticed her injury at all.  ' _InuYasha would have.  He can smell it even if I can't see how.  He'd have called me a stupid girl and would have pointed out how careless I was, but he would have carried me, too . . ._ '  
  
Shaking her head, Kagome deliberately shoved those thoughts aside.  It was hopeless to wait around on a dream that didn't really have a chance at coming true. ' _Fairy tales and happy endings are . . . rainbows and butterflies . . . Waiting for him is like chasing a rainbow looking for the pot of gold at the end_.'  She smiled sadly as she stared at her knee.  ' _A pot of gold that exactly matches the color of InuYasha's eyes_.'  
  
"You said yes, didn't you?  I knew you would!  Houjou-kun is so much better for you than that other guy . . ." Eri whispered loudly as she hurried into the room.  
  
Yuka darted in, too, followed by Ayumi.  "Houjou-kun is such a nice guy!  And he's attending the university!  An _older_ man!" Yuka squealed.  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes but grinned.  Houjou had always been a year ahead of them.  He'd always been an 'older guy'.  Apparently though, now that he was in college, it was different, in their minds.  
  
"You're still hung up on the other guy, aren't you, Kagome?  InuYasha, right?" Ayumi asked quietly.  
  
Kagome made a face.  "Of course not . . . Why would I be?"  
  
Her friends exchanged knowing glances.  Kagome didn't notice as she continued to stare absently at her knee and wondered if she really ought to have it looked at.  
  
"What are you going to see?" Eri asked as she whipped out a chair and sat, hands gripping the back as she peered at Kagome in obvious excitement.  
  
"Well . . ."  
  
"Scary movies are best!  Guys love it when a girl hides her eyes against their chests," Yuka spoke up.  Kagome grinned.  Yuka ought to know.  She'd had a date—usually with a different guy—every weekend since she was allowed to start dating at sixteen.  
  
"Romances are good, too," Eri remarked.  "Guys might not like them, but most of them are suckers for a crying girl."  
  
"If you go to a movie that makes you cry, you'd better be sure to wear waterproof mascara," Ayumi added.  "Nothing worse than raccoon eyes after a good movie . . ."  
  
Yuka nodded.  "That's right . . . You don't want to look like the _Bride of Frankenstein_ , do you?"  
  
Kagome sighed and rubbed her temple as her friends started firing suggestions at her on what she ought to wear.  A pounding in her head was starting that rivaled the thumping in her knee . . .  
  
How, exactly, had she gotten herself into this mess?  


 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

"Would you like to go for coffee?"  
  
Kagome frowned.  "Well . . ."  
  
"Just a quick cup?"  
  
She smiled.  "I'm sorry, Houjou-kun . . . I have to finish my thesis, and—"  
  
"I understand," he cut in with a quick smile.  "I've really had a good time, and I'm so glad none of your illnesses affected you too badly this evening."  
  
Kagome forced a small laugh as they crossed the footbridge over the main thoroughfare.  
  
"I've missed you, Kagome-chan."  
  
"I'm sure you've got other friends," she hedged, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was heading.  
  
Houjou shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets.  "Sure, just . . . no one like you."  
  
"I'm not really that special," she argued.  
  
He laughed, grasping her elbow to stop her.  Staring over the side of the bridge at the bright lights of Tokyo, Kagome was caught off guard by Houjou's words.  "That's what makes you special.  You're smart and sweet and beautiful and funny . . . and you just don't know it."  
  
She smiled, glad that it was dark enough to hide the flush that warmed her cheeks.  "That's not true," she argued, her gaze dropping to the string of cars creeping along the street below.  A sudden tug in her heart brought tears to her eyes.  She blinked quickly, staving them back.  Houjou didn't notice.  ' _InuYasha would have, even if he yelled at me or tried to pick a fight.  He always knows when I cry_ . . .' She scowled, angry at herself for thinking about him, angry at him for daring to intrude in her mind while she was trying to forget him.  
  
"You should be with someone who appreciates you, who you are . . . even if he's not me."  
  
Just for a moment, Kagome wished that she returned Houjou's feelings.  She sighed as he hesitantly took her hand and started walking again.  
  
"Are you going to attend the university this fall?" Houjou asked in the companionable silence that had fallen.  
  
Kagome shrugged.  "I don't know," she admitted.  "I haven't really thought about it."  
  
He chuckled.  "You're such a kidder," he remarked.  "As smart as you are?  Of course you'll go."  
  
"Maybe," she answered noncommittally.  "We'll see."  
  
"Ah!  Look!"  Letting go of her hand, Houjou pointed at the sky.  Kagome stared at the shooting star.  "Make a wish!"  
  
Kagome closed her eyes, letting her first thought be her wish.  ' _I wish InuYasha would come for me_.'  
  
"What'd you wish for?"  
  
Blinking suddenly as she opened her eyes, Kagome smiled.  "I can't tell you.  If I told, then it wouldn't come true."  
  
Houjou chuckled as they turned down the street that led to the shrine.  "You're right.  Don't know what I was thinking," he joked.  
  
Walking her up the stairs, he stopped under one of the paper lanterns Grandpa had hung out.  "I had a really nice time," she said, shuffling her feet nervously.  
  
Houjou cleared his throat and smiled.  "I did, too.  Would you . . .? Would it be all right if I gave you a call sometime?  Maybe dinner and another movie?"  
  
"Sure," she agreed slowly, hating herself as she spoke the word, hating the fact that she still couldn't get InuYasha out of her mind.  "I might be sort of busy, though . . ."  
  
"That's all right, Kagome-chan.  You're worth the wait."  
  
Houjou leaned toward her, and she froze.  His lips were nearly touching her cheek when the low growl off to the left drew a gasp from her as her head turned.  Houjou's lips touched hers, and Kagome's eyes widened in shock.  The growl escalated into a snarl as Kagome hurriedly stepped back.  Face in flames, she couldn't help herself as she lifted her hands to press against her cheeks.  Her first kiss on the lips _ever_ , and it had to come from _Houjou_ , and it had to be in front of _him_ . . .  
  
Houjou was smiling from ear to ear.  "Good night, Kagome-chan," he said, dragging her hand away from her face and squeezing.  "I'll call you!" he said over his shoulder as he loped down the shrine steps.  
  
Kagome stared in shocked silence as Houjou turned on the sidewalk and waved before disappearing around the gate and onto the sidewalk beyond.  Glued to the spot, Kagome couldn't summon the will to move her cast-iron feet, couldn't turn to face the undoubtedly furious dog-boy.  
  
The silence was thick, brooding, stifling.  Staring at Houjou's retreating form, willing him to move just a little faster though she had very little doubt in her mind that InuYasha could and would catch up to Houjou if he wanted, Kagome started a mental countdown.   The higher the number, the more furious InuYasha probably was.  
  
"Give me one good reason I should let that little bastard live," InuYasha finally growled in her ear, his voice deathly quiet as she gasped and whirled around to face the irate hanyou.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 _ **Sengoku Jidai**_ :  _Warring States Era in Japan_.  
  
== == == == == == == == == ==  
**Final Thought from Houjou** :  
Kagome LOVES me!  
==========


	2. Grudges and Grief

“InuYasha . . .” Kagome whispered, stepping back and stumbling with a wince as she missed the next step and came down hard on her already injured leg.

Crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back to glare down at her; he snorted loudly and drew a deep breath while Kagome cringed and waited for the verbal onslaught that she knew was brewing. It never came. Lifting his chin as he sniffed the air, he frowned as he stared at her, as his eyebrows drew together in a marked scowl. “You're hurt,” he stated, his tone accusing, as though she had injured herself on purpose just to thwart his tirade. “Where?”

It took Kagome's overstressed mind a few seconds to comprehend what he was asking. Apparently tired of being kept waiting, he bent down and, locating the scent through her pants, he ripped the side of the leg from bottom to mid-thigh in his search for the hidden injury.

“InuYasha!” she gasped, jerking her leg away from his tearing claws. The movement threw off her balance, and she swung her arms as she tried to steady herself before she fell. He caught her, bringing her flush against his chest as he steadied her on her feet. She gasped again as her stomach turned inside out, as her breath caught in her throat. Being so close to him was like being too close to the edge of a cliff—the lurch in her stomach plummeting a thousand feet while her body struggled to catch up. Heart pounding in her chest, a delicious sense of giddy sensation washed over her even as her cheeks blossomed in a significant flush, Kagome tried to remember to breathe.

A strange light glowed behind his gaze, the intensity wrapped around her, making her knees weak, making her light-headed. Glaring, sure, but something else brewed just below the surface, a strange glow that she'd seen in his eyes once before, so long ago that she thought maybe she had dreamed it all in her head. ` _That time he looked through me and saw Kikyou . . . when he tried to kiss me . . ._ ' she thought wildly, her pulse tattooing an unsteady rhythm through her body. “Let go,” she whispered in a last-ditch effort to keep herself from dissolving in a puddle at his feet.

Her words seemed to bring him back to reality, too, and as quickly as he had wrapped his arms around her, they dropped away. “Keh! Fucking clumsy bitch,” he growled.

Kagome flushed. “Did you come here just to insult me?” she asked tightly.

He sighed. She peeked up at him. Not given to sighs and other `weak' human sounds, whatever it was that had compelled him to come after her must have been important. Kagome swallowed hard as a suspicious sense of foreboding welled up inside her.

“Sango needs you,” he grumbled.

Shaking her head in denial as she started to back up, InuYasha caught her before she tumbled back down the shrine steps, but he let go of her just as quickly as she steadied her footing. Something about the darkness shrouding his gaze . . . Kagome choked out a little whimper. “Oh, no . . .”

She hurried up the shrine steps. InuYasha didn't follow. “Kagome . . .”

“Come on, InuYasha!” she called as she kept moving.

“I think it's different this time. I think . . . She's acting weird.”

Ready to yell at him for being an insensitive jerk, Kagome turned her incredulous stare on the hanyou only to find him standing where she'd left him, staring off into the shadows of the night. There was a strange sense of weariness in his eyes, a disturbingly defeated air in the way his shoulders slumped just a little. As though he were carrying the weight of the world on his back—as though he were genuinely worried for a friend. “What's she doing?” Kagome asked quietly.

InuYasha shook his head. “She won't let them take it. Miroku, Kaede . . . Hell, even I tried. I don't think she understands that it's dead.”

Kagome sighed, her heart aching for her friend. “Maybe she just needs a little time to say goodbye to the baby,” she said quietly. “Maybe trying to take it from her is only making it worse.”

“But it's . . . It never . . . _Fuck!_ That don't make any sense!”

“Maybe not to you, you emotionally stunted baka. Sango's more sensitive. Come on; let's go.”

“There ain't a damn thing wrong with my emotions, bitch!” InuYasha shot back though he did start climbing the steps. “Let me go hunt down that miserable little bastard, and I'll prove it.”

“What miserable little—?”

“The one you had your damn lips all over!”

Kagome stopped mid-step and turned to glare at InuYasha. “Why do you care who I kiss?”

“I don't care _who_ you kiss, but until we get rid of the jewel, you're not _allowed_ to kiss anyone!”

“Why?”

“Because I fucking said so!” he bellowed as he snatched her off the ground and sprinted back toward the well-house.

“That's the dumbest bit of reasoning I've ever heard!” she yelled, not even bothering to try to struggle. It wouldn't do her any good, anyway. “If you're going to make a stupid rule like that then at least come up with a decent reason!”

“Keh! Shut the hell up! You're making my head hurt!”

“Good, baka!”

Leaping into the well, InuYasha shot her a sulking glower. Kagome barely noticed as the time slip opened up to accept them. “And another thing! You still owe me an apology for being so mean before I came back!”

“All right! I'm sorry you didn't go back when you said you would.”

“Ooh!” Clamping her mouth closed and resolved to ignore the hanyou even if it killed her; Kagome crossed her arms over her chest and wrinkled her nose in disgust. ` _The nerve of him sometimes! So maybe he's irritated that Houjou kissed me, and maybe he is worried about Sango . . . still, why does he have to be so . . . so_ . . . mean?'

Landing lightly on the ground on the other side of the well, Kagome had to hold onto him as he leapt out. She let go of his neck as soon as his feet met the grass, whereupon he promptly dropped her then calmly stepped over her prone body as he stomped off toward the forest. Staring at him in drop-mouthed indignation, Kagome rolled to her feet and ran after the hanyou as best as she could. It was a good thing he was walking because she couldn't move very quickly.

“That hurt, you know,” she pointed out as she stepped in his path.

“Did it? Why don't you go find your _human_ and have him _kiss_ it?”

She narrowed her eyes as her face shot up in embarrassed color since the part that hurt was her bruised rear—and her pride. “Maybe I should,” she huffed as she turned on her heel to stalk away with as much dignity as she could muster. Unfortunately it wasn't much since her sore knee and now sore bottom weren't willing to cooperate.

“Can't you move any faster than that?” InuYasha growled.

“No, I can't. I hurt my knee, remember? Then you dropped me on my—Then you dropped me.”

“Keh!” Sweeping her up once more, Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck since she didn't feel like being dropped again.

` _If it weren't for my being injured, I'd make him put me down,'_ she assured herself _. `Besides, I can put up with his temper. Sango needs me_.' She sighed, her gaze falling to the path that InuYasha's sped over. ` _Who am I kidding? I love it when he carries me around. I just wish he wasn't in such a bad mood . . . and it was_ his _fault I ended up kissing Houjou. If I hadn't heard him growling_ . . .' She sighed again.

“Do you . . . Do you _like_ that guy?”

Kagome blinked in surprise at InuYasha's soft tone more than at his question. “Houjou, you mean?”

He was staring straight ahead with a discernible frown and a slight tinge of pink dusting his cheeks. Kagome's heart sped up, hammering wildly against her ribcage. “Sure . . . He's nice enough,” she replied, trying to keep the slight tremor out of her voice.

“Oh.” Dropping to a fast walk as he entered the outskirts of the village, he stopped long enough to let Kagome down before he started striding away.

“InuYasha?” she called after him, brow furrowing in confusion at his strange behavior.

“I ain't apologizing,” he tossed back over his shoulder, “because I _ain't_ sorry!”

With yet another sigh, Kagome shook her head as she turned to stare at Sango and Miroku's hut and hurried inside.

Miroku sat by the fire staring into the flames without seeing. Kaede sat beside him. Even Shippou was silent, his tiny hands folded together in his lap, shoulders slumped, chin lowered in quiet respect. Kagome hugged Miroku's shoulders. He didn't acknowledge her action. “How is she?”

Kaede shook her head. “Why don't ye check on her? Perhaps ye will have more luck convincing her to let go of the babe.”

Kagome nodded and headed toward the small back room. “Sango?” she called softly as she stepped inside. “Sango, I'm so sorry . . .”

The room was bathed in a desolate glow from a single candle sitting in the middle of the floor. Casting the room in severe studies of shadow and light, Kagome bit back a sob at the sorrow defined on Sango's ashen face.

“He's so tiny,” Sango said softly, her voice barely a whisper. “He's got ten fingers and the littlest feet . . . He looks so perfect, so why . . .?”

Approaching her friend slowly, Kagome knelt beside the pallet and leaned her head to the side to stare at the blanket-wrapped baby. “Can I see him?” A sudden wariness blazed to life in Sango's eyes as she instinctively jerked the baby out of Kagome's reach. Kagome forced a smile. “I just meant to ask if you could uncover his face? I'll bet he's beautiful.”

Blinking back tears, Sango nodded and carefully uncovered the infant's head. “They all tried to take him,” Sango explained, her voice tinged with a territorial fierceness: a mother protecting her child. “They all wanted to take him, and I know . . . but I can't . . .”

“It's all right, Sango,” Kagome said softly. “I won't let them take your baby, until you're ready.”

Two fat tears slid down the youkai exterminator's face. “I want to give him a name,” she rasped out. “He deserves a name, doesn't he?”

Kagome nodded. “Do you have a name you want to give him?”

Sango smiled sadly. “Hideaki.”

“That's a perfect name.”

Sango sighed. “Kagome, do you think . . .?  Do you think I could bathe him? No one bathed him, and . . .”

“Okay.”

She got up slowly and headed back out to the others. This time, everyone looked up at her expectantly, as though they all thought she'd be able to take the baby from Sango. “I need water and towels,” she finally said. Miroku's expression darkened as he opened his mouth to protest. Kaede interrupted. “She must not be left with the soulless child.”

“Soulless?” Kagome echoed angrily. “He's a _baby!_ ”

“The rites have been performed,” Miroku said quietly. Kagome knew that he had to be in just as much pain as Sango, but Sango . . . Sango deserved time to mourn in her own way, much like Miroku did. The difference was the way in which they expressed their grief. “His soul has passed on.”

“Sango needs this,” she insisted quietly. “Can't you let her have this time? She's not hurting anyone; she just wants to mourn her child.”

“Aw, leave her alone, will you?” InuYasha grumbled as he pushed through the bamboo door covering. “If I ain't damned for being what I am, then she ain't gonna be damned for holding her pup.”

Kagome blinked in surprise as InuYasha plopped down, leaning against the wall beside the door as he wrapped his arms around Tetsusaiga. “Thank you, InuYasha,” she murmured, still staring at him in unabashed wonder.

He caught her gaze and blushed. “Keh. I can be _sensitive_ ,” he muttered.

Hiding her little smile, she grabbed the water bucket and a few towels before returning to Sango.

“Would you like me to help you?” Kagome offered as she set the thing down beside her friend's pallet.

“No, I can, but . . . I sewed a small kimono . . .” she trailed off as she inclined her head toward the small chest against the wall. Kagome nodded and stepped over to retrieve the tiny outfit. It never ceased to amaze her, the things Sango could do. If it wasn't enough that she was fearless on the battlefield, the exterminator could cook circles around Kagome, could sew faster than a machine, tended her garden with love and precision . . .

The unfairness of the entire situation hit Kagome again. Watching her friend so lovingly bathe her stillborn son was like a knife in Kagome's heart. ` _Oh, Sango_ . . .'

“Kagome . . . Miroku said we can try again . . . but I don't know if I _can_ try again . . .” Shaking her head, she sniffled as Kagome knelt down beside her. “What's wrong with me? Why can't I have a baby?”

“Sango . . .” Kagome murmured as she reached out and hugged her friend. Had she ever felt so powerless in her life? Closing her eyes, she wished once more that she could take away Sango's pain, wished she could make her understand that it wasn't her fault. “I'm sorry,” she whispered as Sango sobbed silently against her shoulder. ` _It seems so stupid . . . all I can say is that I'm sorry, and that doesn't really help_ . . .' She sighed, rubbing Sango's back. Sango was normally so strong, so able to control her emotions. She didn't often give into grief like this, and seeing her suffering was breaking Kagome's heart. ` _If she could only get through the well . . . Doctors in my time make miracles happen every day_ . . .'

Sitting up and wiping her eyes, Sango hiccupped and shook her head. “I'm sorry, Kagome . . . I didn't mean to fall apart on you.”

“No! It's fine! Let's see how Hideaki looks in his kimono.”

With a soft sob, Sango smiled through her tears. “All right.”

 

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

The night was unseasonably cold. She could see her breath solidify in a fog before her face. Wrapping her arms around herself as she broke into a light jog and ignoring the slight throbbing in her knee, she felt her heart speed up in time with her plodding feet. She told herself that she didn't want to disturb anyone. The idea had come to her as she lay on her pallet, unable to sleep. She had a hunch that her real reason for not telling anyone was because she didn't want to get anyone's hopes raised only to be dashed, and, in worst-case, she didn't want a certain irritable hanyou nixing her plan before she even had a chance to try.

Luck was with her. The chilly night air was welcome against her lightly perspiring skin as she broke into a faster run when she reached the meadow. Warmed from inside by the exercise, Kagome slowed to a purposeful stride as she closed in on the Bone Eater's Well. Reaching up to unhook the delicate chain, she held the sparkling jewel in her hands and stared at it. ` _A pure wish, right?_ ' she mused as she let the orb roll around her palm. The iridescent shades of pink flecked with purple and even white glowed in the moonlight.

` _It's not a wish for me_ ,' she reasoned. Sure, she'd be able to use the well, too, but she could do that already, and true, she had tried to use the jewel to keep the well open before, but this time was different. It was for Sango, so Sango could see modern doctors and maybe have a baby of her own.

Clearing her mind of everything, intent on the warmth that emanated from the Shikon no Tama, Kagome closed her eyes, held the jewel against her heart, focused on the one thing that would make Sango happy. ` _She's lost so much . . . Please, hear my wish_ . . .' Waiting, holding her breath, hoping for a sign that the wish had been heard, Kagome squeezed her eyes closed a little tighter, eyebrows drawing together as she frowned in concentration.

And . . . Nothing happened.

Kagome's sigh was startlingly loud. Hands dropping to stomach-level, she stared at the jewel in her palms.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?”

Stifling a groan, she turned to face InuYasha. Arms folded together under the cover of his fire rat haori, he glowered at her in the moonlight, eyes glowing, head cocked to the side.

Lifting her chin defiantly despite the flush that crept up her cheeks, Kagome mustered all her bravado, projecting it into her voice. “I was trying to open the well so Sango could go to my time to see a doctor. They could help her . . .”

“Keh! I could have told you that wouldn't work, bitch. Besides that, you've already tried that wish once. If it didn't work then, it wouldn't work now.”

Trying to hide the hurt his words and caustic tone caused her, Kagome looked away but didn't let her chin drop. “I had to try.”

“Oh, and while we're at it, why don't you tell me why the hell you're out running around in the middle of the night alone?” InuYasha went on as though he hadn't heard her at all.

“` _We'_ weren't ` _at'_ anything,” Kagome remarked, careful to keep her tone even, “and I didn't want to disturb anyone.”

“Then you really are stupid if you don't know by now that I _always_ know every single fucking move you make.”

“I didn't ask you to be my keeper, dog-boy!” she informed him as her voice raised an octave.

“Keh! If you weren't so damn pathetic, you wouldn't need a fucking keeper, bitch!”

Mouth dropping open in moral outrage, Kagome glared at the irritating hanyou. “You take that back!”

“Take what back? I ain't taking back the truth!”

“You take it back or else!”

“`Or else' _what?_ You'll run home and kiss your fucking Houjou-thing again? _Fine by me!_ ”

Kagome gasped, face flaming at the reminder, painfully so. “ _Osuwari!_ ” she bellowed.

“ _Ungh!_ ” he growled as his face, followed by the rest of his body, hit the ground hard. “Damn it, bitch!”

“Do you _really_ want another, baka?”

“Oh, what the hell? The more the merrier—bitch!” he snarled as he pushed himself off the ground.

“Stop calling me that!”

“Then stop _saying_ that!”

“ _Baka!_ ”

“ _Bitch!_ ”

“ _Osuwari!_ ”

“ _Oof!_ ” Growling low in his throat, InuYasha's voice was muffled as he bellowed, “You'd better be so fucking far away from me when this wears off, or you'll be sorry!”

Kagome didn't wait to hear more. Instead of running back toward the village, she hopped into the well.

 

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

“Stupid Kagome,” InuYasha mumbled into the grass. “It'd serve her right if I _never_ go after her . . . Saying _that_ to me when I'm just trying to tell her that she can't go running off alone in the middle of the night . . .”

Pushing himself off of the ground as the last remnants of the subjugation curse wore off; he winced slightly as he checked for damage. ` _Nothing permanent, not that_ she'd _care_ . . .' he grumbled to himself. ` _What the hell's gotten into her?_ I'm _the one who should be mad. I'm the one who caught her kissing that little bastard_ . . .'

Just the memory of that was enough to elicit a very low, very menacing snarl which would have been far more effective had his ears not had blades of grass hanging off them, and had Kagome been anywhere around to hear it.

He sank down beside the well, arms crossed on the ledge as he stared into the empty blackness below. Ears flattening against his skull, InuYasha sighed. ` _All right, so maybe I_ did _deserve those . . . What does that Houjou got that I ain't got? I'm the one that protects her ungrateful neck. I always make sure she's got food and shelter when she needs it . . . What does_ he _do for her?_ ' He sighed again. ` _He kisses her, that's what_ . . .'

Truth was, it had frightened him when he woke up where he sat, dozing beside the fire, only to find her gone. There had been too many close calls over the years, too many times when she had been nearly killed because he hadn't protected her well enough. The panic that had gripped him was like a dousing of cold water. It hadn't taken him long to figure out that she was alone. To realize she'd left on her own had infuriated him, and to sense her very real despair when the jewel refused her wish . . .

The third sigh in nearly as many minutes solidified before his face in a fog of condensation. If he went after her right now, they'd just fight all over again. That's all they ever seemed to do lately, anyway. He knew she hated it when he left for his hunting trips. He could read the fear, the doubt in her gaze, the unasked questions that only served to make him angrier. ` _Are you really going hunting? Are you going to see Kikyou?_ '

He snorted. “Keh!” She, better than anyone, ought to know that he wasn't looking for Kikyou. He hadn't tried to hide the handful of times he'd seen the resurrected miko since they'd defeated Naraku. Still she doubted him. It was the only time Kagome ever did doubt him, but if she was too stubborn to ask, then he wasn't about to volunteer it. That'd just make him look guilty, anyway. Yet another sigh escaped him. ` _Damned if I do, and damned if I don't_ ,' he thought with a grimace.

Turning away from the well, he pulled Tetsusaiga up against his chest and wrapped his arms around it. Dawn was hours away. It was going to be a long night.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Hideaki:** Means "excellent and bright"  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  InuYasha no baka . . . ::sigh:: Poor Sango . . .  
> ==========


	3. The Boy Next Door

Kagome pulled the book off the shelf and scowled in concentration as she leafed through it. On the one hand, she wondered if she weren't being a little short-sighted in thinking that finding some kind of answer as to why Sango couldn't carry a baby to term might help. On the other hand, it might exacerbate the situation, too, given that there wouldn't be any way of reversing whatever caused it. Still maybe it would be comforting for her friend just to know that she wasn't the only woman with the problem. She only wished she could do more.

Her first thought this morning when she awoke in her bed was that she ought to go back right away. Sango would be saying goodbye to Hideaki at sunset. Her next thought had been that InuYasha hadn't come after her in the night, and with that realization had come a feeling of complete melancholy. She sighed. How selfish was she, to think of something as silly as that when her dear friend was suffering so much?

At breakfast, Mrs. Higurashi had suggested that Kagome pick up some books at the library that might help Sango understand, even if there really wasn't any good reason for it, in Kagome's opinion. So after eating and washing the dishes, Kagome grabbed her bag and set out.

“Higurashi! How are you?”

Kagome squeaked out a small sound of surprise as she slammed the book closed and whirled to face Houjou. His face was flushed when she dared peek at him and hers was rapidly following suit. It was obvious to her that his first thought had been a memory of the accidental kiss, and she tamped down the urge to turn tail and run as fast as she could. “Morning, Houjou . . . how are you?” she asked as she stepped back in retreat.

“Just working . . . I wanted to tell you I had a great time the other night.”

She winced inwardly. “The movie was nice . . .”

His smile was bright, happy. “Would you like to go again? The theater changed showings yesterday, and if you're not busy they're showing a special matinee of _Titanic_ . . .?”

“You know, I'd love to, but I can't. I've got some things I have to take care of later. I'm sorry.”

The crestfallen look on his face didn't last long. Another shy smile surfaced as he shrugged. “Maybe this weekend, then?”

“Uh . . . maybe . . .”

Apparently satisfied with her answer, Houjou leaned casually against the bookshelf, his shy smile widening as he gazed at her in such a way that Kagome knew he was definitely remembering that kiss. “I get off work in about five minutes. Can I walk you home?”

Racking her brain for a reason—any reason—to turn him down, her pathetic mind couldn't come up with even one. “A-All right,” she agreed slowly. “I was just finished, anyway.”

Houjou finally dropped his eyes to the books she held clutched against her chest. Eyes widening in surprise, he blushed but grinned. “ _What to Expect When You're Expecting_?”

Kagome blushed, too. ` _Kami, I forgot that_ . . .' Forcing a weak smile, she shrugged. “I . . . um . . . My thesis! I need them for my health thesis.”

His blush darkened. “Oh, I wasn't implying . . . I apologize! Please, I meant no offense!”

“No, no!” she assured him, an embarrassed giggle spilling out of her. “Well, I need to go check these out.”

She turned to go. He hurried after her. “Would it be all right if I still walked you home?”

Kagome turned around with every intention of making up some excuse to keep him from doing that. Her resolve faltered. He looked so hopeful, so happy, so _nice_ that she couldn't do it. “Sure . . .”

“Great! Let me go grab my bag, and I'll be right with you,” he said as he hurried away.

Kagome sighed as she checked out her books and stuffed them into her backpack. She headed toward the doors to wait for Houjou, staring out the doors at the noon-day sunshine and clutching the Shikon no Tama. ` _We've got to find out why we can't purify the jewel_ ,' she mused, ` _but poor Sango . . . I don't think she or Miroku are in any condition to travel, and I can't ask them to . . . InuYasha better not say a thing to them about it, either, or I'll . . . oh, I don't know. I'll think of something_ . . .'

Houjou smiled as he held the door for her, and Kagome stifled another sigh. “Would you like to stop for a cup of coffee?” he asked as they walked down the sidewalk.

Kagome stared at the ground. “I have to go see a friend,” she said in a tone that she could only hope wasn't as irritated as it seemed to her own ears. “Maybe some other time.” She made a face. ` _What's the matter with you? Stop encouraging him!_ '

“Anyone I know?”

“Wha—? Oh, no . . . I don't think so.”

“You seem awfully preoccupied . . . Is everything all right?”

Kagome stopped abruptly and forced a smile. “Well, no . . . A friend of mine is having some trouble, and I promised I'd come by and see how she's doing. I just wish I could help her,” she confessed, wondering just why she was telling Houjou any of this.

“Anything I can do?”

Kagome sighed. “No . . . Thank you, though. I don't think anyone can help her.”

“That sounds serious,” Houjou commented, a concerned frown marring his brow as they started walking again.

Turning the corner onto the street that led to the shrine, Kagome sighed and shook her head. “It is,” she agreed. “It seems so lame, when all I can do is stand by and watch . . .”

Houjou shrugged and smiled down at her. “I'm sure that's enough. Sometimes just knowing you have a friend is enough, right?”

For the first time all day, Kagome's smile, though small, was genuine. “I suppose it is.”

“Don't look so sad, Kagome. She's lucky to have a friend like you.”

Kagome sighed. “Maybe,” she agreed in a tone that bespoke her doubt.

“Definitely,” Houjou remarked, nodding his head toward the shrine. “Well, here you are.”

Kagome turned to stare at her home then gasped as a crimson-clad figure huddled in the shadows atop the roof caught her eye. The flash of silver hair, the fire lit in the depths of the golden stare . . . Kagome stepped back quickly before InuYasha felt the need to make his presence any clearer to her. “Thanks for walking me home,” Kagome hurried to say, praying that the young man wouldn't look up. “I just remembered, I'm late . . . Bye!” she called over her shoulder as she hobbled up the stairs as quickly as she could.

Opting to ignore the hanyou as she mustered her dignity, Kagome headed toward the front doors as InuYasha dropped onto the path behind her. “You can't ignore me,” he growled as he stomped along behind her.

“I wasn't,” she answered, carefully keeping her tone neutral.

“Keh! You're trying,” he accused.

She sighed and whirled around to face him. Having not realized how close he was, her hair slapped him in the face, and he stumbled back, hands rubbing over features as his pout shifted into a glower. “Oi, bitch! What the hell was that for?”

Controlling her rising irritation, she made a face. “I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't know you were right behind me, and I don't feel like fighting with you.”

“Then stop swinging your hair around.”

She sighed again. “Why are you in such a bad mood?”

He snorted as she opened the front door and stepped inside the house. “Because you always make me come after you.”

“I never asked you to come after me,” she informed him. “I was just on my way back, anyway.”

“Keh. Guess that means I'm on guard duty again,” he snorted.

She narrowed her gaze on him. “I'm not helpless, you know.”

“That's debatable.”

“Do we have to do this?” she asked quietly. “I'm tired of arguing with you.”

“Keh! You should have thought of that before you went off kissing that little—”

“That was _your_ fault, you know,” she broke in, hands on hips as she glared at InuYasha as much for the reminder as for his irritation over what he caused. “If you hadn't been growling, I wouldn't have turned my head, and—”

“And you didn't pull away from him, either!”

“I was shocked!”

“Why?”

“Because I'd never been kissed—” she yelled as her temper snapped. “Never mind,” she grumbled, face flaming as she let her gaze drop to her feet. “Just go on without me,” she went on, turning away and starting up the staircase. “I'll be back this afternoon.”

 

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

InuYasha watched in stunned silence as Kagome hurried up the stairs toward her bedroom. He had been irritated beyond belief when he'd come to get her only to find that she was gone. Mrs. Higurashi told him that Kagome had gone to the library. He'd been left alone at the shrine while Mrs. Higurashi had taken Souta to a soccer match. Waiting around was driving him crazy, and it hadn't taken long before he retreated to the roof to wait for her to show her face. What he hadn't expected was that she'd have the nerve to let that Houjou-thing walk her home again.

If she hadn't hurried to say goodbye to the boy, InuYasha had been ready to hop down and tear the boy limb from limb, especially if his lips got anywhere within kissing distance of Kagome. Witnessing it once had been more than enough, as far as InuYasha was concerned. ` _There sure as hell better never be a repeat of that, damn it_ ,' he thought with a vicious snarl.

Shaking his head in silent confusion, InuYasha sank down in the hallway and hugged Tetsusaiga as Kagome's words came back to him. ` _Because I'd never been kissed_ . . .'

He wasn't sure if it was the idea that she'd never been kissed before that confused him since he hadn't really stopped to think about that before, or the idea that her first kiss had come from that boy . . . ` _Keh! Stop thinking about it!_ ' he told himself sternly. On the one hand, he supposed he had always thought that Kagome probably had been kissed before. How could a girl as happy and beautiful as her not have been kissed before? On the other hand, the fact that he knew now that she had been kissed . . . His face twisted into a pout again. That little twerp didn't deserve to be the one to give Kagome that first kiss.

The bottom line was that Kagome didn't want _him_. Even if it had been `his fault' that she turned her head, she still, she _let_ that little bastard kiss her. His frown deepened. ` _Shocked, maybe, but she_ still _let him. . . Sango would have slapped the crap out of Miroku for that, before they were mated_ . . .'

He snorted as another voice spoke up in his head. ` _Kikyou shocked you. That time she tried to drag you to hell, and you nearly let her . . . and you let_ her _kiss you as you stood there in shock . . . with Kagome watching_ . . .' He growled low in his throat. If Kagome had any clue of how it felt, to watch her being kissed . . . Balling his hands into fists so tightly that his claws cut into his palms, InuYasha grimaced. ` _So you_ do _care more that it was that baka instead of_ —'

` _Keh. Shuddup._ '

He winced as her answer plagued him.

“ _Do you . . . Do you_ like _that guy?_ ”

“ _Houjou, you mean? Sure . . . He's nice enough_.”

He sighed again as his ears drooped. ` _Nice . . . She likes `nice' . . . So why can't I just be a little . . . nicer?_ '

He didn't know the first thing about being `nice', at least, not in any way that Kagome would appreciate. He already provided for her, protected her . . . `Nice' wasn't something that he really knew how to do.

“Keh!” InuYasha snorted as he shot to his feet, stomping toward the back door and the sanctuary of Goshinboku. “If she fucking wants ` _nice'_ then she can _have_ that little bastard . . . _I_ don't _care!_ ”

 

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

The cavernous darkness was dank, sinister. Somewhere in the dusk, in the half-light of the shimmering purple glow emanating from the single clay urn, something stirred to life. Dormant for so long, the time had come. A drip of water hitting a puddle echoed through the chamber. Stalagmites cast grotesque shadows; stalactites hung from the ceiling like gaping, sharp teeth. In the recesses of the darkest corner, she slowly opened her eyes—lavender smoldered in the dusky violet radiance.

` _Is it time . . .? Is it your wish?_ '

Stepping out of the cocoon-like structure that had housed her, she stretched, luxuriated in the freedom of movement. ` _Nice_ ,' she thought as she arched her back, savoring the reawakening of her senses, one by one.

A faded pink silk kimono lay on a nearby rock. She recognized it. ` _The_ _remnants_ _of a life I left in the past_ ,' she thought with a dramatic sigh. ` _A life I shall never require again_ . . .'

Gazing down at her naked body in the pale, thin light, she uttered a little whine of frustration. Locked away in the cocoon for so long, she had forgotten what her body looked like. She spared a moment, rubbing her hands over her flesh—cool, silky—and smiled as she felt sensation wash through her. Long dormant nerves sprang to life. She could feel once more. ` _A shame to cover this, isn't it?_ ' she mused as she hesitantly reached for the faded garment. ` _Ah, well . . . I have work to do_.'

Opening her mouth in a silent call, her face broke into a sultry smile as the stalagmites cracked open. Grunts and growls, groveling and groaning as they emerged, she waited as she tied her kimono, waited for the silence, waited for their full attention. Snarling at one another as they seemed to be deciding who was their leader, she smiled tolerantly. ` _Yes, my darlings . . . show me which of you is supreme_.'

The ugliest creatures—all of them created of darkness, of the marriage of black arts and of the vilest youkai, the merging of the two powers creating a force that would be harder to control. They might have once resembled men. Now they were little more than mindless beasts. They would suit the purpose. They would suit the purpose very well. ` _You had complete faith in me, didn't you, koishii . . .? I will not fail you_ . . .'

Raising her hand, the purple extension shooting from her fingertips like a singular snake writhing in the dark, she drew her fingers back and waited. With a flick of her wrist, the whip extension cracked, silencing the assembly as they stared at her. “You have been created to serve me.” She wasn't certain if she was being understood or not. In the end, it didn't matter. These, her children, were nearly indestructible . . . That would be enough. “I am your mistress. You may call me Hisadaicho-sama.”

 

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

Kagome buried her head under her pillows as she moaned softly. ` _Why did I tell him that?_ ' she berated herself. ` _He doesn't care, anyway, and . . . I'm so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ _Maybe I should just march right back to Sengoku Jidai and tell him, flat out, `Oh, gee, InuYasha, I've liked you for years' . . . He'd just laugh at me, or worse, yell . . . No, thanks_.'

Uncovering her head, Kagome sat up slowly, a dejected sigh escaping her as she shook her head. ` _Oh, what does it matter? So what if I've never kissed anyone else_ ,' she reasoned. ` _We've still got to figure out how to get rid of the Shikon no Tama, and that has to take precedence over how many guys I have_ _—_ _or haven't_ _—_ _kissed, right?_ '

Still, telling herself that it wasn't a big deal was completely different from making herself come out of her room. She didn't see him in Goshinboku. Maybe he had listened and gone back without her. Tamping down the sadness that suddenly welled up inside her, Kagome made a disgusted face. She didn't _want_ him to wait for her. ` _Right, Kagome . . . Convince yourself of that, if you think you can_.'

That was the trouble, wasn't it? She _did_ care. She always had. She cared too much. The main problem with what she admitted to him wasn't that it had been her first kiss: it was that her first kiss hadn't come from him instead of Houjou . . . Why did she just know that kissing InuYasha would be extraordinary?

` _The jewel, Kagome, the jewel!_ ' she reminded herself sternly, her cheeks scorching at her own wayward thoughts. ` _Get it together! I have to concentrate on that before I can concentrate on anything else, even InuYasha!_ '

It wasn't until she heard her mother's voice that she even dared peek out into the hallway. “Kagome, are you still here?” Mrs. Higurashi called up the stairs.

Kagome grabbed her backpack and slowly headed out of her room, peeking up and down the hallway to make sure she wasn't about to be waylaid by a certain deviant hanyou.

“I'm surprised you haven't gone back, dear,” Mrs. Higurashi commented as Kagome dropped the bag on a chair at the kitchen table and started rifling through the cupboard for supplies.

“I'm getting ready to.”

Mrs. Higurashi pushed a mail-order flower catalog across the table. “I was thinking about Sango,” she said slowly. “I thought that if there were any she'd like, I'd order them.”

Kagome smiled as she stuffed the catalogue in the bag, too. “Thanks, Mama . . . a memorial garden, you mean?”

Mrs. Higurashi shrugged as she put away more groceries. “Something like that.”

Shaking her head as she stuffed in a few boxes of pocky and some cups of instant ramen, Kagome sighed. “I wish there were something I could do . . . it just seems so sad, you know? Sango would make such a fantastic mother, and that's all she really wants now . . .”

“I know, darling. I wish there were more we could do, too.”

Kagome closed up the bag and hurriedly kissed her mother's cheek. “I'll be back for exams,” she assured her, “if not sooner.”

“Take your jacket, Kagome. It's supposed to be chilly the next few evenings.”

Kagome grinned but did stop to grab a sweater. Chances were good that the weather here wouldn't be exactly the same as it would be in the past. Still, she supposed a mother was a mother, and it wouldn't matter if she was here or in the past, her mother would just feel better if she had a sweater.

“Keh. Took fucking long enough, wench,” InuYasha snorted as he dropped out of Goshinboku.

“I thought you went back already,” Kagome remarked as she struggled to keep herself from blushing all over again.

“Come on,” he grumbled as he followed her into the well-house. “Give me the bag, will you? Do you always have to carry around so much crap?”

“I brought ramen for you,” she informed him as she handed him the backpack.

InuYasha hopped up on the ledge and held out his hand. “Move it, will you? We ain't got all day.”

She sank down on the wall and flipped her legs over the side, gaze slipping away to the side. The already uncomfortable silence thickened, and she bit her lower lip as she tried to brush off his gruff tone. She didn't see him wince. “Thanks, for the ramen,” he muttered as they pushed off the ledge and fell into the time slip.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Koishii:** Cherished.  
>  **Hisadaicho:** “Long-Lasting Great Butterfly”
> 
> == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  Fucking Houjou . . .  
> ==========


	4. Sango's Garden

Sango leafed through the flower catalog with a sad smile touching her lips. “They're all so lovely, Kagome,” she commented. “How should I choose?”

Kagome glanced over from her task of tugging weeds out of Sango's fledgling vegetable garden. Wiping perspiration off her forehead with the back of her hand, she smiled and sat back on her heels. The early spring morning was bright and beautiful, a stark contrast to the somber rain that was falling when she had climbed out of the well with InuYasha yesterday afternoon.

Hideaki was burned on a funeral pyre as per tradition. Contrary to most of the cremation ceremonies, Sango had wished for it to take place at dusk so she could spend the day readying his tiny body for the ceremony. The somber tones of the cremation were complimented by the misery of the weeping skies. The rain stopped just before the first flames touches the bier. It had been a trying night for everyone. In the end, they sat around the fire and reminisced over their travels, their adventures, their victories and losses.

“Well, annuals are flowers that have to be replanted every year while perennials are ones that you only have to plant once. Sometimes you may have to separate some of them, if they grow too thick . . . but they are probably your best bet, if you want something that will last.”

“These lilies are beautiful,” Sango said quietly. “So many colors . . .”

Kagome grinned. “Whatever you want, Sango. Take your time.”

Sango nodded as she continued to leaf through the catalog. Kagome turned back to her weeding when a very loud, very irritated voice called out, “Oi! I don't give a royal rat's ass if _you_ promised or not, _I_ ain't doing it!”

Turning her head to the side in time to see InuYasha and Miroku striding through the village toward the hut, Kagome's eyebrows arched in surprise at the deep blush on InuYasha's face. Hands folded together under the cover of his fire rat haori, the hanyou had a stubborn set to his features and a formidable glower on his face.

“But think of the children, InuYasha!” Miroku prodded.

All pretenses of work fell away as Kagome sat back to hear the rest of the exchange.

“Keh! _Hell_ , no!”

“But they'd love it, you know they would . . . and I think you'd enjoy it, too . . .”

“I don't think I would,” he argued.

“Think of how happy the village children will be.”

“Keh! About as happy as I'll be when they decide to lynch me for hurting one of their pups,” he growled. “No fucking thanks.”

“What's going on?” Kagome asked.

InuYasha clamped his mouth closed and jerked his head toward Miroku.

“I . . . sort of . . . _volunteered_ InuYasha to take the village children on forest romps during the spring celebration.”

Kagome bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing at the murderous scowl on the hanyou's face. “That's so nice of you, InuYasha . . . I'm sure the children will love it.”

“The hell they will because I _ain't_ doing it!” he bellowed again.

Miroku shot Kagome a `Help Me!' look. Kagome rolled her eyes but gave it her best try. “It's not really any different from you carrying me around on your back,” she pointed out reasonably.

“Keh! That's _totally_ different!” he growled.

“How?” she challenged.

Incredibly, his blush darkened. “It just _is!_ ” he snarled.

“Is, how? It's no different! In fact, most of them probably weigh less than Kagome,” Miroku countered.

“Hey!” Kagome complained indignantly. “What does _that_ mean, Miroku?”

“Nothing bad, Kagome! I didn't mean you're fat . . . Do you think she's fat, InuYasha?”

“Keh!”

“Drop it!” Kagome cut in, narrowing her gaze as she contemplated the monk's impromptu demise.

“You carry Shippou,” Sango interrupted before Kagome decided to shoot Miroku with her sacred arrows.

“Only when _she_ makes me,” InuYasha snarled.

“I thought you said no one can _make_ you do anything,” Miroku remarked, turning back toward InuYasha.

“They can't,” he gritted out, “But she won't shut up when I don't give in!”

“` _She'_ has ears, you know!” Kagome contested. “And I `shut up' just fine, like now!”

“Good!”

“ _Baka!_ ”

“ _Bitch!_ ”

“Why not?” Miroku cut in before Kagome could say `the word' and ruin any chance of garnering InuYasha's cooperation.

InuYasha looked like he was ready to lunge at the monk. “Because I _like_ carrying _her_ around, damn it!” he bellowed.

Kagome gasped as an instant flush rushed over her cheeks to match InuYasha's rapidly escalating coloring. InuYasha, finally realizing just what he had said, fired off every curse he could think of or make up as he turned on his heel and stalked off toward the forest. A brilliant smile broke over her face despite her blush.

 

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

Kagome hurried along the forest path absently rehashing what she was supposed to say.

“ _Just tell him you think he should do it,” Miroku coached. “Tell him how much you'd appreciate him for doing it . . . and bat your eyes at him a few times_.”

“ _I don't know,” Kagome said, shaking her head slowly. “I don't think this is going to work_ . . .”

“ _Think of the village children, Kagome!” Miroku begged. “They would love this, you know they would!_ ”

_She narrowed her suspicious gaze on him. “Why do I think you're up to something?_ ”

_Miroku's eyebrows shot up, proclaiming his innocence. “Me? What would I be up to?_ ”

“ _I don't know . . . Why don't you tell me?_ ”

“ _Did you bring that pretty pink blouse? I think you should wear that,” Miroku went on, completely ignoring her questions_.

“ _Yeah,” she answered, her frown growing more wary. “Why? InuYasha doesn't care what I wear_.”

_Miroku grinned. “You'd be amazed what he notices_ . . .”

_Kagome wasn't sure what he meant by that, but she did go ahead and change her blouse. The pink silk was more form-fitting than many of her other shirts, and this one also had a wide scooped neckline. She wrinkled her nose as she gazed down at herself. Tugging on the back of the blouse to raise the neckline just a little, she had a feeling now she knew why Miroku had insisted that she wear this instead of the high-collared button-down blouse she was wearing before_. _Coupled with the flirty khaki crinkle-cotton skirt that barely reached mid-thigh, she was pretty sure that InuYasha was going to know right off that something was up_.

Stopping short, Kagome slowly scanned the area. ` _There's something here . . . a youkai_ _. . ._ ' Reaching over her shoulder for an arrow as she shrugged the bow off her shoulder, Kagome nocked back an arrow and waited. “I know you're there . . . Come out,” she said.

A distinct rustle in the bushes off to the right drew her attention. A little monkey darted out of the foliage and into the path. Sitting on its haunches, it stared at her in a curious way. ` _It's so cute!_ ' Kagome thought as she lowered the bow just a little. ` _Youkai, sure . . . but . . . it_ looks _harmless_ . . .'

“Aww,” she crooned, putting the arrow away and set the bow aside as the tiny monkey rubbed its belly, the saddest frown curving down the edges of its mouth. “You poor thing! You're hungry, aren't you?”

The youkai let her scoop it up and let her cuddle it to her chest. “I'll take you back to the village and find you something to eat . . .” she mused, stroking its back. “Would you like that?”

The monkey nodded and seemed to smile. Kagome picked up her bow and pushed herself to her feet. “What's your name?” she asked as the monkey reached up to hold onto her neck. Suddenly, Kagome felt a jerk as the chain holding the Shikon no Tama tugged against the back of her neck. It snapped free, and the monkey leaped out of her arms and disappeared into the forest.

“Hey!” Kagome shouted as she plunged into the forest on the trail of the sneaky monkey. “Get back here! That wasn't very nice!”

The monkey kept running as Kagome chased after it, leaping over rocks and roots, ducking under low branches. Kagome stumbled a few times but caught herself. Two thoughts kept rushing through her panicked mind. ` _See what you get for trusting cute animals?_ ' she berated herself, followed closely by, ` _InuYasha is going to freak_ . . .'

She grimaced in determination as she sped up. ` _I'm going to catch that little jerk before InuYasha finds out . . . or he'll never forgive me_ . . .'

Wincing, his condemnations were already as clear as if he were beside her, yelling them: “Damn it, Kagome! How could you be so fucking careless! Youkai are youkai, and you can't just trust something because you fucking think it's cute!”

Stifling a groan as she realized exactly where they were headed, she pushed herself even faster as she whizzed past the base of Goshinboku.

“Oi, Kagome! What are you doing?”

She flinched at the sound of InuYasha's voice calling out to her. “No time,” she yelled over her shoulder as she kept her eye on the monkey streaking toward the open meadow. “Monkey . . . stole jewel . . .”

“ _What?_ ”

She cringed as his bellow seemed to bend the trees. “You can yell at me later,” she assured him without breaking her stride. “Just get the jewel!”

“Damn fucking straight I'm going to yell at you later! Stupid bitch! What the hell? Did you just fucking _hand_ it to him?” he growled as he sped past her.

“Uh . . . not . . . _exactly_ . . .” she mumbled.

Unfortunately, he heard her. “What the hell do you mean, `not exactly'? What ` _exactly'_ did you do?”

“He was hungry,” she defended herself, “so I was going to take him back to the village, and he grabbed the jewel and ran.”

InuYasha's expression might have been more humorous if the anger implied behind the telling bright crimson of his skin wasn't exclusively directed at her. “ _He's a double-damned youkai, Kagome! You-kai! Get it? How could you be so fucking stupid?_ ” When she didn't answer, he spared her a quick glance only to see the tears spilling down her cheeks before speeding up and hollering back to her, “ _And no fucking crying_!”

With a mighty leap, InuYasha landed in front of the monkey and wasted no time swiping up the creature and squeezing him tight. “Cough it up, ape-shit, or I'll beat it out of you.”

The monkey youkai hung his head and reluctantly handed over the jewel. To Kagome's surprise, InuYasha batted the monkey on the head and let him go.

“Why'd you let him go?” Kagome asked between sniffles.

He frowned, staring at the ground with his trademark glare in place. “What? You wanted I should have killed him?”

“ . . . No . . .”

“Then shut up, already.”

Sinking down on a boulder, Kagome scrunched up her shoulders and drew a deep breath. “Thanks for getting back the jewel,” she mumbled.

“Keh!” InuYasha snorted and stomped over to her, dropping the jewel into her lap before he strode away. “Don't be picking up any more strange youkai,” he warned.

She sighed, staring at the glittering Shikon no Tama.

“Coming, Kagome?”

Glancing back over her shoulder, Kagome broke into a small smile when she saw him waiting for her. She hopped up and smoothed her skirt before dashing over to him and letting him drag her onto his back.

“I forgot to tell you, InuYasha . . . Thanks for speaking up for Sango the other night . . . She really needed that.”

“Keh,” InuYasha snorted, cheeks reddening as he pushed off at a slow run. “What you said made sense.”

“It did?”

Stealing a peek back at her, he shrugged. “Sure . . . It's gotta be hard, to lose so many pups.”

“I wish I could help them,” she ventured, happy that InuYasha seemed to be in a decent mood especially considering she had nearly lost the Shikon no Tama.

“Don't see how you could,” he answered as he pushed off the ground to sail over the forest, “short of having a pup for them, and you can't do that.”

Kagome giggled. “Yeah . . . That's ridiculous . . .”

“Anyway, we're leaving in the morning, wench. We've got to figure out how to get rid of that damn thing if even weak little monkeys are coming after it now.”

Kagome sighed and snuggled just a little closer. “All right.”

 

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

Kagome set the book aside and stirred the pot of stewing meat before settling back on the floor and pulling the text back into her lap. “It says here,” she remarked out loud, “sometimes spontaneous abortion, or miscarriage, of the fetus—”

“What's a `fetus'?” InuYasha interrupted as he sat nearby with his arms wrapped around Tetsusaiga.

“The unborn baby,” Kagome explained before she continued reading, “—can be attributed to a variety of reasons ranging from anomalies in the fetus that would prevent further development to other defects in the mother that might prevent her from carrying a fetus to term . . .” Looking up from the book, she sighed. “So, there really isn't any telling exactly what might be causing your miscarriages, Sango, not without testing.”

Sango looked sad and thoughtful. She nodded, forcing a dim smile that made Kagome wince.

“Keh!” InuYasha snorted. “Now translate that into stuff we understand, wench.”

Kagome sighed. Miroku rubbed his forehead. “Thank you for trying to find some sort of reason, Kagome. Maybe it simply wasn't meant to be.”

Shippou looked up from his drawing. “Can't you try again?”

“Shippou,” Kagome said gently, “sometimes it isn't as easy as that.”

Sango got up and moved toward the door.

“Sango? Where are you going?” Miroku asked.

Sango smiled again. “I just wanted to take a short walk . . . I'm fine.”

Kagome got up, too. “Can I come with you?”

Thinking it over, the exterminator nodded. “I'd like that,” she agreed.

The setting glowed in shades of oranges and reds, golden yellow that melded with shocking pink. Drifting into a somber violet, a deeper blue, Kagome stared at the horizon as a sense of unrequited longing filled her heart and soul. “Beautiful, isn't it?” Sango asked quietly.

Kagome sighed. “Yeah . . . It is.”

Wandering through the village toward the forest, Kagome smiled wanly. It was such an automatic path for her that she hadn't even realized where they were going. Sango sighed and shook her head slowly. “Miroku and I were talking about it earlier . . . We were thinking about returning to my village.”

“Really?”

Sango shrugged. “We thought perhaps . . . Perhaps we're meant to be there instead of here, and maybe that's why I can't . . .”

“I hate the idea of you two being alone. There's no one else there . . .”

Sango nodded. “I know.”

They walked in silence as the evening shadows fell over the forest, each of them lost in their own thoughts. “InuYasha wants to leave in the morning to see if that old sage really does know anything about the Shikon no Tama.”

“Kagome . . . Why don't you tell him how you feel? You know how he is. If you're waiting for him to say something first, you may not ever get anything resolved.”

Kagome made a face. “I know,” she agreed slowly. “I just . . . He's so different from other guys . . . Sometimes I think he really does care about me, and others . . . It's complicated.”

“It doesn't have to be, does it? There are times when he doesn't know anyone's looking, and he stares at you . . . No one can tell me that he doesn't care about you just as much as you care about him. I won't believe them.”

Kagome flushed and nodded, hoping that Sango didn't realize just how badly she had needed to hear that. She sighed and winced as she remembered Sango's losses, and here she was, talking about herself and InuYasha . . . “Sango . . . I wish there were something I could do to help you. I feel so bad for you and Miroku . . .”

Sango smiled as the two women stopped at the base of Goshinboku. “You understand, Kagome. I don't ask more than that.”

For some reason, Sango's reassurances only made Kagome feel worse.

“See there?” Sango broke into Kagome's bleak thoughts. Pointing at a small patch nearby, Sango's smile widened. “I want to put my flowers there. It's quiet, calm, peaceful, beautiful. I think . . . I think my children would have loved playing here.”

“Oh, Sango . . . I think it's a perfect place.”

InuYasha words echoed in her mind as the two women started back toward the village. ` _Don't see how you could short of having a pup for them_ . . .'

Kagome frowned. That was ridiculous, right? She couldn't do that . . . Stealing a glance at the despair in her eyes that Sango couldn't hide, Kagome swallowed hard.

Could she?

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Miroku:**  
>  Kagome, that plan was fool-proof . . . next time, don't stop for monkeys . . .


	5. Hunting the Sage

" _'Dear Miss Love, my name is Aisha, and I've been friends with this great guy for the last three years. Many times I think that he cares about me but I'm still scared to ask him how he feels. I really like him. I can't imagine my life without him. I'd rather keep our friendship, though, if he doesn't feel the same way. What should I do?_ '"

"Why do you have to read me that crap?" InuYasha grumbled as he ran through the forest with Kagome on his back.

"What else is there to do?" she countered as she pulled the magazine away from his grasping hand. "Do you want to hear the answer or not?"

"Keh! Not really . . ."

Kagome rolled her eyes. " _'Dear Aisha, you're not doing yourself any favors by not telling this guy how you feel. If he's as great as you say he is, then he'll let you down nicely, if he doesn't feel the same way. There's never any harm in trying, and who knows? You might find that the two of you are soul mates_.'" She sighed dreamily.

"Put that away before I shred it," InuYasha ordered. "Girls from your time talk too much."

She made a face but managed to slip the magazine into the pocket on the side of her bag without incident. "Do you think this sage knows anything, really?" she ventured.

He shrugged. "That's what I've heard. They say he's the oldest human alive."

Kagome wrinkled her nose. "He doesn't have a Ninmenka tree, does he?" she asked suspiciously.

InuYasha snorted. "Keh."

"It's possible," she defended her question. An involuntary shiver ran up her spine as she remembered one of the times she had thought she'd lost InuYasha. He'd been human and had fallen over the side of the high cliff with the sage from Togenkyo . . . She could only thank kami that he had been caught on the way down by the Tree of the Human-Faced Fruits, Ninmenka. That the tree had every intention of absorbing InuYasha . . . Well, he'd returned to his hanyou form in time to defeat the tree before that could happen.

"Possible, maybe. I doubt that he does, though. Anyway, if he knows anything . . ."

Kagome sighed. She loved being so close to InuYasha, especially when he was being so agreeable, for the most part. Without a second thought, she reached up and rubbed his ear. He flicked the appendage away from her probing fingers. She giggled and grabbed for it again. He loosened his hold on her legs, silently threatening to drop her. Instinctively, she tightened her legs on his hips to keep herself from falling. His grip tightened instantly, and she frowned in confusion as his cheeks reddened.

"Did I do something?" she asked as she leaned forward to better see his face.

"Nope," he answered, his tone tight, controlled.

"Why are you blushing?" she asked suspiciously.

"Keh. I'm not."

"But—"

Ears twitching like little radars on his head, InuYasha's head snapped up as his eyes darted around. Suddenly he stopped and knelt down to let Kagome off his back. "Youkai?" she whispered, glancing around in a slightly nervous way.

"Yeah . . . and it don't smell friendly. Stay back."

"Okay," Kagome agreed as she stepped back, tugging the bow off her shoulder and reaching over her shoulder for an arrow.

InuYasha cracked his knuckles as he peered around. "Come out. I know you're there," he called.

Kagome gasped as the shining blue-green-skinned dragonfly youkai flew out of the foliage to land before them. Grotesquely human yet bearing the same sort of coloring and scaly skin as the insect, the being hovered above the ground, barring the path, kept afloat on silvery, translucent wings. "You bear it, girl . . . The Shikon no Tama . . . Give it to me!"

Kagome stepped back, hand clutching her chest, holding the jewel. InuYasha snorted. "Keh. You want it? Then you gotta get through me."

"A half-breed?" the dragonfly youkai taunted. "You wish to battle me? Don't make me laugh!"

"This half-breed is more than you can handle!" InuYasha assured him. "If you want to die, then just come on."

Zipping forward, propelled by his iridescent wings, the youkai slashed with the razor sharp protrusions on his arms as InuYasha grabbed Kagome and leaped out of the way. "Stay back here," he instructed as he rushed forward, claws extended. " _Sankon-tetsusou!_ " he bellowed, slashing through the air with his claws outstretched.

The dragonfly arched away from the flying claws. InuYasha gritted his teeth as the attack barely missed. The youkai laughed. "So slow, half-breed! Why is that?"

InuYasha pushed off the ground, launching himself at the dragonfly again. Arms straight down at his sides, InuYasha drew back and slashed with his claws again. The youkai extended his arm, shooting a blade out of his upturned palm. He tried to alter his course but wasn't quite fast enough. The spear-like blade caught him in mid-air, impaled InuYasha's shoulder, and Kagome cried out his name as InuYasha's pained scream echoed through the forest.

With a vicious sneer, the dragonfly retracted the spear, and InuYasha fell to the ground, gripping his shoulder. Pushing himself to his feet was slow, but he managed and in the stillness, he dragged Tetsusaiga from the scabbard as it transformed in a flash of brightest light and held it at the ready.

"Ah . . . What a pretty sword! When I defeat you, I'll have to take it, hmm?"

"Keh. Just try it, bastard."

Kagome's eyes widened suddenly as the sense of a familiar youki drew closer. "InuYasha—"

"I'm a little busy here, wench," he growled.

"But—" she tried again.

" _Kaze no Kizu!_ " he yelled, bringing Tetsusaiga smashing into the ground as streaks of flame rushed at the youkai who managed to avoid the attack for the most part. One of his wings wasn't so lucky. Acrid smoke filled the air as the youkai screeched in outraged pain.

"Damn you, dog-shit! Are you trying to fucking kill me?" a new voice called out.

InuYasha groaned inwardly. "If I was trying, Kouga, you'd damn well be dead."

Much to InuYasha's irritation, the mangy wolf youkai ran into the small clearing and skidded to a stop right next to Kagome. "Oi, Kagome . . . So how've you been?"

"Hey, Kouga . . . Pretty good . . ."

"Get away from her!" InuYasha snarled without taking his eyes off the dragonfly youkai.

"Having trouble, mutt-face? Let me show you how a real man handles the likes of that weak wanna-be butterfly," Kouga remarked as he swaggered forward and pushed InuYasha aside.

InuYasha winced since Kouga had very deliberately shoved against his already injured shoulder. With a decisive snort, the hanyou broke into a sprint toward the youkai as he raised Tetsusaiga over his head. Kouga broke into a run, too, and shoved InuYasha aside again. InuYasha rolled to his feet with a vicious snarl as Kouga foolishly got too close. "Watch out!" Kagome shrieked a moment too late.

The youkai shot out the spear again. Kouga jumped back but still caught the tip of the spear in his calf. With a hiss of pain, Kouga landed on his feet but stumbled back.

"Keh! Fucking wolf! Get outta my way!" InuYasha bellowed as he lunged forward again. The dragonfly youkai couldn't dodge fast enough, and with an angry cry, he exploded in a violent burst of glitter and dust as Tetsusaiga cut through him. "There," InuYasha remarked as he dropped Tetsusaiga into the sheath. "I could have done that sooner if some stupid jackass would have stayed the hell out of my way."

Turning back with a very smug grin on his face, the expression faded as he saw Kagome kneeling beside Kouga with her first aid kit out. She dabbed gently at the paltry wound as InuYasha's gaze narrowed. ' _I damn near get my arm ripped off, and she's fawning all over that fucking bastard? Keh! Fine!_ '

"Come on, Kagome. We ain't got time for him."

"In a minute," Kagome answered, her tone preoccupied as she rummaged through her kit for a roll of gauze.

With an irritated sigh, InuYasha swung back around again, hands on hips as he glowered murderously at the back of Kouga's head.

"I was looking for you, Kagome. I'm ready to claim you as my woman now."

She dropped the roll of gauze and sat up a little straighter as a wash of hot color flooded her cheeks. "Wh-What?" she managed to squeak out.

InuYasha didn't wait to hear more. Stalking forward to drag Kagome away from Kouga if need be, he grabbed her arm as Kouga grabbed her free hand. "Over my dead fucking body, you nasty little—"

"Ouch!" Kagome gasped as the two tugged in opposite directions.

InuYasha immediately let go, afraid that he really would hurt her if he didn't. Unfortunately the action sent her careening forward. She caught herself with her newly emancipated hand against Kouga's chest and started to push away but the wolf youkai caught her with his free hand, snaking his fingers through her hair and dragging her forward into a kiss.

Kagome froze, eyes wide with panic as she tried to recover from the shock of being kissed. InuYasha couldn't see her face.

"What the—Oi! You can't— _Damn it—Get your fucking lips off her, you stupid bastard!_ " InuYasha sputtered as he grabbed Kagome around the waist and jerked her away from Kouga. She uttered a small sound as though the rough movement had hurt her, and InuYasha set her down. "If you go anywhere near him again, bitch, I swear, I'll . . ." he snarled, waggling his index finger under her nose. Unable to find a suitable warning, he trailed off before turning back to face Kouga again. The arrogantly smug grin on the wolf's face was enough to make InuYasha drag Tetsusaiga out of the scabbard once more as he advanced on the youkai.

"InuYasha!" Kagome complained as she darted forward to plant herself between the hanyou and his next intended victim.

"See that?" Kouga goaded as he slowly got to his feet. "Kagome wants to come with me, don't you?"

"Ehh . . ."

"What?" InuYasha bellowed as he shoved Kagome behind his back again.

"I think you should go, Kouga," Kagome pleaded as she braced herself on InuYasha's shoulder to peek over at the wolf youkai. She didn't realize it was his sore shoulder, though, until he hissed in pain and jerked forward. She stumbled and caught herself against InuYasha's back.

"No fucking way! He's gonna die!"

Kouga rolled his eyes. "I can't leave you here with this unbalanced mutt-nut. It'd be wrong. Now come on, Kagome."

"She ain't going anywhere with you, damn it," InuYasha ground out.

The two stared each other down for long seconds, neither willing to give an inch. Finally, Kouga nodded slowly. "All right. We let her decide—for now. So . . . which will it be, Kagome? Dog-shit? Or me?"

Kagome sighed. "I can't go with you, Kouga. We still have to figure out a way to purify the jewel, and so I need to stay with InuYasha."

Kouga snorted then nodded slowly. "I can respect a woman who honors her promises. Until then . . . protect my woman with your life, dog-shit, or I'll have to kill you."

InuYasha clenched Tetsusaiga until his knuckles turned white as he watched Kouga retreat into the forest. Not trusting himself to as much as look at Kagome, he put the sword away and started walking—fast.

He heard her gathering her things, heard her rapid approach as she sprinted after him. She fell in step beside him and reached up to tug at his haori and undershirt. "Let me see," she said gently.

"Keh," he snorted, jerking away from her. "I'll live."

"Let me clean you up and put a bandage on it," she offered as she reached out again.

He slapped her hands. "I told you, I'm fucking fine, damn it."

"You're not!" she argued. "What's wrong with you?"

"Not a damn thing."

"Then let me look at your shoulder!"

"Keh! I'll pass."

' _Of all the stupid, stubborn_ . . .' she fumed silently, racking her brain for a way to make the surly hanyou listen to her. ". . . I'll say 'it'."

He shifted his glare to the side and snorted. "Go ahead. Say it. Say it a thousand fucking times! Then you can go run off with your damn wolf or your damn Houjou . . . _I don't care!_ "

She gasped and drew back as if he had slapped her. She ducked her head, staring at the ground, and before he could warn her not to do it, he could smell the salt of her tears.

"St-Stop that!" he growled, voice escalating in near-panic. "Oi! Why are you—?"

"Both of those were _your_ fault!" she yelled as he recoiled a little bit further as much from her tone as from her volume. "You and your stupid baka temper! First Houjou, then Kouga! You can't be mad at me for something _you_ did!"

"Something I—?   _Bitch!_ Those weren't _my_ fucking lips all over them! _They were yours!_ "

"I _know_ they were mine!" she screamed as tears continued to course down her face. "Stupid! _Baka!_ "

" _Bitch!_ "

"Stop calling me a bitch!"

"Then stop calling me a baka!"

"Then stop _being_ a baka!"

"Then stop being a—"

Gaze narrowing dangerously as she furiously wiped away her tears, Kagome glared at the hanyou. "Don't say it," she warned.

"Keh!"

Stomping along, side by side for awhile in angry silence, InuYasha stifled a sigh. ' _All right, so maybe it was my fucking fault . . . Damn it . . . I wish I knew what she's thinking_. . .'

Kagome spared him a glance as she tried to hide her upset in case he caught her looking at him. ' _All right, so maybe I said the wrong thing to Kouga . . . I wish I knew what he's thinking_ . . .'

She peeked at him again only to find him staring at her through the corners of his eye with a mysterious, almost sad look on his face. She frowned. She had to be imagining that. Why would he be sad? "InuYasha?"

"What?"

"Will you let me look at your shoulder now?"

He didn't answer, but he did stop and turn to face her, allowing her to inspect the damage from the dragonfly youkai.

 

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

Hisadaicho stood in the doorway of the tiny dwelling with a vague smile touching her lips. The old man sat huddled by the fire pit staring at the dancing flames with a faint recognition drawing the lines of his wrinkled, time-wizened face. "I know ye," he murmured without looking away from the fire. "I know ye . . ."

"So you remember . . . I worried that you wouldn't," she said, her voice low, soft, a caress wrapped in a sound.

The man nodded slowly. "The spawn of that evil . . . Why have ye suffered to linger?"

"Such unkind words, old man . . . Did I not bless you with what you desired? What you so greedily accepted?"

Grasping the gnarled cane, pushing himself to his unsteady feet, the faded gray eyes flashed with a vacant anger, an impotent rage borne of the years of torment, of recrimination. "I shall cast ye back to the pits of hell that spawned ye!" he commanded, raising an unsteady hand. "Be gone, ye evil! Ye wicked, wicked entity!"

Hisadaicho dismissed him with a wave of her hand. The old man stopped, unable to move, frozen in place on her whim. Stepping closer, deliberately, slowly, stalking him like a cat stalks a mouse, she chuckled, running her fingertips over his thin flesh, aged into a softness that can only result from the passage of time. "You cannot hurt me. I come seeking an answer, and you shall talk . . . or you shall die."

His terrified eyes shifted to stare at her, filled with loathing, with recrimination.

"I need to know who protects the Shikon no Tama. I need a name."

She flicked her fingers, allowing him to speak. "I shall not give ye a name," he rasped out.

Letting her head fall to the side, Hisadaicho regarded the old man with a tiny grin, an evil manipulation of a twisted desire. Sauntering closer, she leaned in, lips brushing against his ear. "Give me a name," she purred as her hand rose to cup him, mercilessly squeezing the dormant part of him, smiling with wicked delight as he stirred to life in her grasp.

"N-No," he whined, eyes closing as the mix of pleasure and pain collided.

Hisadaicho squeezed a little harder, pumping him slowly. "Her name, old man."

" . . . K-Ka . . . gome," he gasped out.

A few more of the rough movements that ended his physical torture. Her hand dropped away as he whimpered, still held in the confines of her power. "That wasn't so difficult, was it? Too bad you know too much. Now you have to die."

Planting her lips over his before he had a chance to protest, she kissed him deeply, completely, drawing out his soul as her body rejoiced in the throbbing fulfillment of the receiving. Stepping away from him, her smile widened as he fell to the floor, vacant eyes wide and fearful, mouth open and frozen in an unholy grimace of death. Feeding on the souls of men . . . ' _Delicious_ . . .' she thought as her smile widened. The old man had lived a very full life, and it showed in the power of the soul she had taken from him.

"Kagome," she murmured as she turned away from the corpse, a ruthless glint awake in her lavender gaze. "Such a pretty name . . ."

 

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

"I think you should do it."

InuYasha snorted and flattened his ears against Kagome's badgering. "I ain't doing it, so drop it."

"It really would mean a lot to the children," she pointed out reasonably—too reasonably.

"Then _you_ do it."

She rolled her eyes and giggled. "I can't, but you can . . . please?"

"Keh."

"Just for the sakura celebration, InuYasha! Besides, it would mean a lot to Miroku, and you know he's had a rough time lately—"

Narrowing his gaze on her, InuYasha snorted again. "Keh! You are _not_ guilting me into doing a fucking thing, wench."

She scrunched up her shoulders, twisting her fingers together into a rather perverse looking knot of wriggling flesh. He tugged her hands apart and let go. The forced separation lasted all of ten seconds. "I'd really appreciate it, if you agreed," she ventured. "I'd really owe you one . . ."

That stopped him. Turning to face her, InuYasha folded his arms together and regarded her critically. "What does that mean? That you'd really owe me one?"

She shrugged, carefully keeping her gaze averted as a hint of pink crept up her cheeks. "Well, it means, I'd owe you a favor."

His expression grew even more guarded. "Keh. What sort of favor?"

The shrug came again. "Whatever favor you'd ask of me."

"Any favor?"

She nodded slowly.

" _Any_ favor?" he repeated.

She swallowed hard and nodded again.

He pondered that a few minutes before he answered. "All right, wench," he agreed at length. "You can't go back on that. You owe me a favor— _any_ favor . . ."

She dared a peek up at him through the thick fringe of her sooty eyelashes. He blinked as a sudden flush washed over his skin before he forced his gaze away. "Thank you!" she yelped seconds before she launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck in an ebullient hug. Leaning up on her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek. He froze as she gasped softly and quickly jerked away. "Sorry . . ." she muttered as she tried to hide her deepening flush. "I guess I got a little carried away . . ."

InuYasha blinked and gulped, his mouth suddenly bone dry. Deliberately trying to squelch the surge of primitive emotion that coursed through him, both from the proximity of her body as well as the unintentional kiss, he tamped down his own blush and started walking again. ' _How did she do that?_ ' he fumed as a sense of complete frustration washed over him. ' _Damn!_ '

' _She does owe you a favor_ —any _favor_ . . .'

He grinned to himself. He'd have to give that some serious thought . . .

Entering the clearing where he believed the sage to be, InuYasha frowned as he held out a hand to stop Kagome. Something was very, very wrong. Every one of his senses was telling him this—screaming it, actually. He shook his head and sniffed the air.

"What is it?" Kagome asked quietly, gazing at InuYasha with a trace of worry evident in her voice.

"Dunno," he answered in a preoccupied tone. "Stay close to me."

"Okay."

InuYasha drew Tetsusaiga before he started forward again. An odd hush in the surrounding forest nagged at him. The sense that there was some sort of significance in the unearthly silence weighed on his mind. Drawing nearer to the door of the small earthen dwelling, he felt a strange sense of foreboding as he pushed the bamboo mat aside.

Kagome gasped softly and broke away from InuYasha's side to kneel beside the old man sprawled on the floor. "He's dead," she murmured as she gently closed his eyes.

InuYasha grabbed her arm and gently pulled her to her feet and away from the body. "Don't touch him," he demanded.

"InuYasha? Is something the matter?"

He shook his head slowly. "It's wrong," he said, his voice quiet, hushed. ' _He ain't been dead longer than a day or he'd already reek, but I can't feel death here, either . . . and what's that other smell?_ ' Leaning in closer, InuYasha jerked back as he realized what the other scent was. ' _Someone else was here . . . but who? A woman . . . but she smells weird, almost like she and the old man . . . like he . . .?_ ' Feeling himself flush at the strange realizations he'd managed to find, InuYasha stepped back from the body and snorted.

"Can we bury him?" Kagome asked quietly as she stared out the window, her expression inscrutable.

"Yeah," InuYasha finally agreed as a ripple of ambivalence raced up his spine. There was something about the old sage's death that bothered him—a lot. "Come on, Kagome," he said as he headed for the doorway again.

"Shouldn't I tend to him?" she asked as she headed toward the small back room to retrieve a blanket.

For some reason, InuYasha didn't want her left alone with the sage's body. "Nope."

She frowned but followed him out of the hut without questioning him further.

He stood back while Kagome looked around for a good spot to bury the old man. Try as he might, InuYasha couldn't shake off the feeling that something was desperately wrong. There was something wholly unnatural about the old man's death, something that didn't make any sense. He wasn't entirely sure why he felt that way, but the longer he considered it, the more uneasy he became.

Kagome said nothing as she deliberately wandered forward, as she stopped under the budding canopy of a maple tree. "Here?" she asked.

InuYasha blinked as he emerged from his reverie. "Keh. Fine."

She nodded and stepped aside as he strode forward to dig the grave. If he could only figure out why he felt like something was missing, he'd be ahead of the game.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_Sankon-tetsusou_** _: Iron Reaver, Soul Stealer_.  
>  **_Youki_** _: bewitching energy (youkai energy/aura_ ).  
>  **_Kaze no Kizu_** _: Wind Scar_.
> 
> **_== == == == == == == == == ==_ **
> 
> **_Final Thought from InuYasha_** :  
>  _A favor, huh_. . .


	6. Dilemmas

"Houjou said you two had a terrific time on your date last weekend," Ayumi remarked as the girls sat in their regular booth in WacDnalds, their favorite after-school haunt.

"He's such a sweetheart!" Yuka exclaimed with a giggle as she munched a French fry.  "Did you have fun?"

"Did you kiss him?" Eri asked in a loud whisper.

"Eri!  You know a lady never kisses and tells!" Yuka chastised.  "But since you already asked . . . Did you, Kagome?"

Kagome felt her face heat up under their collective scrutiny.  "The movie was good," she hedged.

"Kagome!  Don't keep us in suspense!  Did you kiss him?" Eri pressed, clasping her hands together as she begged for more information.

"Does it matter?" Kagome snapped as heat stole up her cheeks.  She sighed, grimacing as her friends' expressions took on varying degrees of hurt at her abrupt answer.  "Anyway, I'm not going to date Houjou-kun again."

"He said you had to go visit a friend who's in some sort of trouble," Yuka remarked a little too nonchalantly.  "It wasn't that bad boyfriend of yours, was it?"

Kagome blinked in surprise as she choked on a sip of soda.  Coughing furiously as her face rushed through the gamut of shades of increasingly-darker reds, she nodded gratefully as Ayumi thumped her back with the palm of her hand.  "InuYasha?  Oh, no!" she managed between bouts of coughing.  "He's fine . . . fine!  And he's not really my boyfriend . . ."

She sighed.  ' _Of course he's fine . . . Just a little distant lately_ . . .'

 _True enough, he'd been even more quiet than normal on their way back to the village.  There was something bothering him and even though she'd tried to coax it out of him, he hadn't told her a single thing.  He hadn't even tried to stop her when she told him that she had to go home to finish up her term papers and study.  That had been surprising enough.  After that, he offered to walk with her to the well, and he'd been_. . . nice?

" _Is something bothering you?" she asked as they headed into the forest along the well-worn path_.

 _InuYasha shrugged.  "Not really_ . . ."

 _She frowned since she didn't believe him but didn't call him on it, either.  "I'll try not to be gone too long," she offered, raising her face to catch some of the filtered sunlight_.

" _No hurry, all right?  I'll check around for some clues while you're gone.  That old man can't be the only one with some idea about the jewel_."

 _She stopped abruptly and shot him a worried stare.  "Since when do you not care how long I stay gone_?"

 _He blushed slightly but shook his head.  "It's not like I don't care . . . Keh!  Are you trying to piss me off_?"

 _She sighed.  "Of course not!  It's just not like you to be so . . ." trailing off as he narrowed his gaze on her, Kagome quickly hurried to find a better way to state what she had been about to say, ". . . so_ accommodating _about my school work_."

 _Continuing along in silence, Kagome pondered the unexpected change in his behavior.  He'd barely said more than two whole sentences to her on the trip back to the village, and while he hadn't seemed angry, he had seemed very worried about something_.

" _The sage's death bothered you, didn't it?" she finally asked.  "I'm sure there's someone else who might know something_. . ."

 _She didn't have to look at him to know that he was giving her that sidelong stare of his.  She could feel his eyes on her.  "It wasn't that," he admitted.  "There was something wrong in there . . . Didn't you sense it?  You're the one with spiritual powers . . . You should have felt it long before I ever did_."

 _She frowned.  She had sensed . . . something.  She had chalked it up to the sage's lingering presence.  As though someone was still there, some sort of malignant power . . . With a shiver, Kagome forced the unsettling feeling away_.

"Earth to Kagome . . . Come in, Kagome . . ."

With a start, Kagome blinked and gasped when she realized that Ayumi was waving her hand two inches from Kagome's nose.  "I'm sorry," she said quickly.  "You were saying . . . ?"

Yuka giggled.  "Eri asked if you've kissed InuYasha since you won't say whether or not you've kissed Houjou."

The flush that flooded Kagome's face was intense, immediate, and painfully hot.  " _No!_ " she yelled then cleared her throat as her friends' eyes widened at her vehement denial.  "Uh, no . . . We haven't."

"But you've been seeing him for years, Kagome . . . He's _never_ kissed you?"

Shoulders slumping as her chin dropped, Kagome shrugged in what she hoped was an offhanded way.  When her friends all winced, she grimaced inwardly, knowing that her forced show of bravado had failed.  "It's not like that, with him . . . I guess we're more like . . . really good friends."

Her inward grimace surfaced when Eri and Yuka muttered, "Aww."

Ayumi smiled.  "That's good!  You can't build a lasting relationship without having a firm foundation of friendship," she insisted.

"I think you're better off with Houjou than you are with InuYasha . . . At least Houjou is nice and doesn't try to control you," Eri accused.

They'd met InuYasha once, and they had liked him well enough then.  Seeing how often and badly upset she was sometimes, though, her overzealous friends had decided that InuYasha was to blame, and that they were right in their original assessment that InuYasha was way too jealous and way too much of a 'bad boy' to ever make a suitable boyfriend for her.  She'd given up trying to convince them that they were wrong.  If she only had a clue where she _did_ stand with InuYasha . . .

Kagome sighed and gathered her backpack and tray.  "I've got to run.  I need to finish my thesis tonight.  Bye!  See you tomorrow!" she hurried to say, deliberately cutting off whatever comments the others were trying to make as she swept away from the table and hurried to empty her tray before practically sprinting out of the restaurant and down the street toward the shrine.

She didn't stop running until she reached the sanctity of home.  "If anyone calls, I'm _not_ here!" Kagome hollered as she rushed through the front door.

"Kagome?" Mrs. Higurashi called after her.  "Is everything all right?"

"Fine," Kagome lied as she dropped her bag on the stairs and stepped into the kitchen.  "I've just got to get busy on these papers, especially that thesis."  She sighed.

"Let me make you a snack," her mother offered as she set down the spoon she was using to stir the pot on the stove.

"No, thanks.  I had some fries and a soda after school."  With a sigh, Kagome headed out of the kitchen, retrieving her bag as she headed into the living room to curl up on the sofa with her books.  The first book she dragged out was one on common reasons for infertility and the numerous options available to treat it.  Kagome wrinkled her nose and started to put the book away but the back cover caught her attention.

'. . . _Many couples who face problems with carrying a child to term or cannot conceive for whatever reason, do seek the services of a willing surrogate_ . . .'

"A willing surrogate . . ."

"What was that, dear?"

Kagome dropped the book and jumped at the sound of her mother's voice.  "Oh, nothing," she lied, hoping her too-discerning mother didn't notice the obvious fib.  "I was just reading out loud . . ."

Mrs. Higurashi smiled.  "All right.  I need to run to the store for a few things."

"Okay," Kagome answered with a forced smile as she picked up the book and reread the back cover again

 InuYasha's words drifted through her mind again, what he'd said when she told him that she wanted to help Sango and Miroku.   ' _Don't see how you could, short of having a pup for them_. . .'

' _What?  No . . . Get a grip, Kagome!  That'd be like giving away your own baby, and you couldn't do that_ . . .'

She propped her elbow on the arm of the sofa and dropped her forehead into her hand, a thoughtful frown marring her brow as she read the words over and over again.  ' _Could I do that?  It wouldn't_ really _be_ my _baby . . . It'd be theirs from the start_ . . .'

Still, her logical mind wouldn't let go . . . ' _This isn't a doll or a toy . . . It's a_ baby _, Kagome, a_ baby _!  You couldn't do it; you_ know _you couldn't, even if you want to think you could_ . . .'

The image of Sango's sorrow, of her holding that tiny lifeless baby stuck in her mind, wouldn't let go.  Closing her eyes against the image didn't make it go away.  It grew more vivid, more hurtful, and Kagome felt tears welling up in her eyes as Sango's words haunted her . . . ' _I don't know if I can do it again, Kagome . . . I just don't know . . ._ '

The absolute despair in her friend's eyes was like a nightmare she couldn't escape.  Sango, who had lost so much—her entire village, her entire family, her home, everything . . . and now, the chances of becoming a mother were growing slimmer and slimmer with every miscarriage, and with each one, Kagome watched as a part of Sango's heart died, too.  Sango, who had grown to be as close as any blood sister could ever have been . . . and Miroku, the last of his line, too . . .

Kagome sighed.  ' _Even if I decide I can't do it . . . I owe it to her, and to myself, to at least think about it_ . . .'

"How do I make a decision like that?" she murmured, staring at the clock on the wall without actually seeing it.

 

* * *

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

* * *

 

 

InuYasha strode toward Sango and Miroku's hut with a purpose in his gait, expression serious, arms crossed under the billowing sleeves of his haori.  "Oi, monk."

Miroku straightened up from the garden plot he was helping Sango pull weeds from.   Dusting his hands off as he stood, Miroku grinned as he ambled over to the hanyou.  "You look like you've been thinking," he said dubiously, his smile fading fast.  "That never bodes well."

Shooting the monk a glower for his efforts, InuYasha ignored his unwelcome commentary and said, "Shut up and listen, will you?  I've got something I've got to take care of.  Keep an eye on Kagome if she comes back early."

Miroku's gaze turned contemplative.  "Sounds a little subversive.  What do you have to take care of?"

InuYasha snorted.  "Keh.  If it was your business, I'd have fucking told you, don't you think?"

Miroku nodded slowly as he leaned back against the short fence separating him and InuYasha.  "You're right; it's none of my business . . ." Trailing off with a sigh, the monk looked like he had something else on his mind.  Damned if InuYasha was going to take that bait, though.  Finally, Miroku drew a deep breath and plunged in.  "Beautiful night, last night, wasn't it?"

InuYasha narrowed his golden gaze on the monk, wondering just what it was Miroku was trying to say.  "Didn't notice."

Miroku nodded.  "Slept in Goshinboku, didn't you?"

"So?"

Miroku sighed and shook his head.  "When Sango and I took a walk last night, we saw Kikyou's Shini-dama-chuu hovering over the forest to the east.  I don't suppose you saw them, too?"

InuYasha didn't answer.  Turning on his heel, he walked away before Miroku noticed that he was gone.

' _Damn . . . Why's he got to be so fucking perceptive?_ ' InuYasha thought with a scowl as he headed toward the east.  ' _Anyway, it's not what he thinks . . . It's not what_ any _of them think_ . . .'

In truth, he wanted to ask if Kikyou knew who or what could have left such an odd aura in the old sage's hut.  It had been bothering him ever since they'd found and buried the man, and for some strange reason, he needed to know why that was.

He sighed as he broke into a sprint.  It didn't sit well with him that he was doing the very thing that Kagome always feared.  He hadn't run off to find Kikyou since they'd all joined forces to defeat Naraku.  The few times he'd seen her had been with Kagome there, and those had been purely coincidental.  They'd done no more than make awkward small talk for a few minutes before heading off in separate directions.

When had he realized that he didn't love Kikyou anymore?  He winced.  No, that wasn't right.  It wasn't that he didn't _love_ her anymore, it was that the love he had for her had changed, grown into more of a mutual respect, a quiet friendship.  Strange, how that had happened.  Maybe it was just the underlying knowledge that the Kikyou he'd known and loved had died so long ago, and Kikyou now . . . It was just too late.  It had _been_ too late when he'd met Kagome.

 _Kagome_.

Pushing himself faster, driven by an urgency that stemmed from an unspoken fear, a nameless dread, InuYasha pushed off the ground to sail over the trees as he scanned the horizon for any traces of Kikyou's Shini-dama-chuu.  Something in the sage's hut . . . Something that had felt to him like a subtle warning . . . When he looked at Kagome in the desolate dwelling, he'd felt a definite fear, as though something was coming for _her_.  It was that fear that had convinced him to send Kagome back to her time so that he could search for some answers as to what, exactly, had happened in that hut, and that search . . . He sighed again.  It all led back to Kikyou.  She came by information that he couldn't, and maybe, with any luck at all, maybe she had heard whispers of something that could help him.

Not to mention that even he had to admit he'd been a complete ass toward Kagome the past week.  It hadn't been intentional, exactly.  He grimaced.  All right, it had been.  He couldn't _help_ it.  Either he acted like a complete baka to keep her at bay or . . . He sighed as he picked up speed.  Why the hell else would he leave every month at the same time? 

He growled in frustration.  If he could at least make sense of it himself, then maybe he could deal with it differently.  All he knew was that every month for at least the last year, he _had_ to stay away from Kagome.  He wasn't sure when he realized that it had something to do with the full moon, but it was as predictable as the rising sun.  As if it weren't hard enough for him to maintain a comfortable distance from her anyway, around the time of the full moon, something about her— _only_ her—captured him, captivated him, drew him in.  He'd always been attuned to her.  As though her very soul spoke to his, it was second nature for him to know where she was, what she was doing . . . but lately . . .

It had come to a head a few months ago.  They'd been traveling back from Totosai's since InuYasha had promised the old coot that he'd bring Tetsusaiga in to have it looked over.  That night, as though he couldn't help himself, he'd stood over Kagome's sleeping form huddled in her sleeping bag.  Pale skin glowing in the warm light of the campfire, hair flowing around her like a cascading waterfall, the soft hollows under her cheekbones delivering such a stark contrast in the weak light, something about Kagome's body, Kagome's face, beckoned to the secret reaches of him.  He watched her, hands shaking, body straining against his own will, his own control, as she smiled faintly, the hint of a dream lingering on her lips, and then she mumbled his name in the dark.  He'd made the ultimate mistake of kneeling down, lifting a lock of her hair to his lips, to his nose.  It had taken every single bit of strength he possessed to leave her alone when his youkai blood had wanted nothing more than to wake her and  . . .

With a shake of his head, InuYasha deliberately cut off those thoughts before he turned right around and headed back to find her.  The full moon was tonight.  He had to stay away from her.  He had to.  He was a hanyou, not human, not youkai.  He was both, and he was neither . . . and she was Kagome, the most beautiful, beguiling creature he'd ever met: impulsive, naïve, happy, and free.  He'd fight to protect her, he'd follow her to the ends of the earth if she asked him to, he'd die for her if he had to.  He just couldn't subject her to the stigma of the hanyou.

' _Focus, baka!  I've got to find Kikyou . . . I've got to know if she has any idea what happened to the old sage . . . I've got to know why I feel like Kagome's in some sort of danger . . ._ '  With new determination, he leapt again.  ' _I swore, Kagome . . . I swore I'd protect you, but I can't protect you if I don't know what I'm trying to protect you from_ . . .' he mused with a frown as another pang of guilt shot through him.  ' _Forgive me . . ._ '

 

* * *

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

* * *

 

 

Kagome sighed and narrowed her sore eyes as she clicked on another link.  Her mother had splurged last year and bought a computer for the family.  Kagome had been up all night searching the internet for good websites that talked about surrogate parents and the actual process of artificial insemination.  She thought maybe, if she had all the facts, it might help in her decision-making process.  ' _Well_ ,' she thought with a wry grin that better resembled a grimace, ' _I've got more facts than I know what to do with now_ . . .'

She glanced at the clock and groaned.  ' _Two a.m. . . . I'm going to die at school_ . . .'

Trouble was, though mentally exhausted, she doubted she could sleep now, even if she tried.

Smashing her fingertips against her weary eyes for a moment, Kagome pushed herself out of the chair and stumbled toward the kitchen for a glass of water.

Grabbing a bottle out of the refrigerator, she stopped in front of the sink and stared idly out the window as she took a long drink of the refreshing liquid.  Not for the first time, she thought that she could really use someone else's opinion on this.  Normally she'd talk to Sango or even Miroku since he really was a good listener and did offer great advice, despite InuYasha's very jaded opinion of him.  There wasn't any way she could ask them, though.  No, if she wasn't absolutely positive she could do this, then she couldn't raise their hopes, if they were willing to try.  InuYasha wouldn't be any help on this, either.  She valued his opinion but chances were nearly one hundred percent that he would say something . . . well . . . _stupid_ and not really _listen_ to her at all . . .

With another sigh, Kagome headed back to the computer desk and pulled a clean sheet of paper out of the printer.  On the top, she wrote, ' _Why I should do it'_.  Halfway down, she wrote, ' _Why I shouldn't do it'_.  The scratch of the pen against the paper was the only sound in the silent room for several minutes.  When she set the pen aside, she frowned at what she'd written.  The positive half was completely full.  The negative side only had one word: _baby_.

She dropped the pen with a dull clatter and thumped her elbows on the desk.  Dropping her face into the cup of her hands, she massaged furiously at her temples and wondered just for a moment where InuYasha was sleeping tonight.

' _I can't remember a time when I didn't . . . love him_ . . .' she thought with an inward grimace.  How did her life get so complicated?  In love with a mythical being that existed in a time and place that she shouldn't have been able to reach, in the first place . . .

Kagome groaned softly and massaged harder, willing back the edges of the headache that was brewing.  So much to think about, and no real answers anywhere . . . She felt as if she were coming undone, as if, for the first time in her life, her heart wanted to do something that her mind couldn't allow.

 _'Sango_.'

 _'Miroku_.'

' _InuYasha_.'

'. . . _and me_.'

If she let her heart decide, she would do this in an instant.  After seeing her friends in so much pain, after watching and being unable to do a thing as Sango lost her seventh child, Kagome could only imagine the horrible ache inside the exterminator, the overwhelming sense of grief, the pain of feeling somehow lacking because she couldn't do this one simple enough thing: because she couldn't give her husband the child he wanted.  How would she feel, if she were Sango?  Kagome closed her eyes.  She'd feel like she was dying, that's how . . .

Her mind, however, was vicious, reminding her with a ruthless abandon that she wasn't pondering something as simple as giving Sango and Miroku a doll or a pet . . . It was a baby, and if she decided she could do this, she had to realize just how hard it would be, no matter what, to give away a part of herself . . .

' _It would have to be at least a little easier, to know from the start that the baby is theirs_ ,' she reasoned.  ' _Unlike some girls who accidentally get pregnant and can't decide what to do . . . This wouldn't be an accident, and this wouldn't be like that . . . Would it?_ '

Though she realized, too, that it wasn't something she could decide overnight, she also knew it would haunt her until she did commit, one way or the other.  The trouble was she'd been raised in the shrine.  Her father, when he had been alive, had told her so often that living was giving, that in order to fulfill a part of her soul that needed nourishing, she had to learn to give of herself.   Her mother had always encouraged it, too, though in a completely different way.  Kagome had learned from her mother's example, not by simple words that were easily spoken, but through the examples that were manifest in her actions.

Kagome's chin lifted, and she blinked, as though she were just waking up.  "Mama . . ."

Slowly rising off the chair again, Kagome gathered the papers she'd printed out as well as the list of her internal arguments for and against the idea of offering to be a surrogate mother for Sango and Miroku.  It was late, and her mother was sleeping, but Kagome knew that she wouldn't be upset.  When was her mother ever upset when Kagome wanted to talk to her?

Creeping up the stairs and down the hallway, past her own room, past Souta's closed door, past Grandpa's room, Kagome drew a deep breath as she stared at her mother's open doorway.  She always left her door open.  Kagome smiled despite the brigade of butterflies that erupted in her stomach as she slowly stepped into the room.  That Mrs. Higurashi always slept with the door wide open . . . In Kagome's mind, it was significant as to the kind of woman her mother really was.

Taking a moment to draw a steadying breath, letting her mother's soothing aura help settle her nervous soul, Kagome closed her eyes for a moment before she slowly approached her mother's sleeping form.

"Mama?  I'm sorry for waking you," she said softly as she gently shook her mother's shoulder.

Mrs. Higurashi blinked a few times and yawned as she slowly sat up.  "Kagome?  Is something the matter?"

Kagome swallowed hard and sighed, shaking her head as she struggled to find the words she wanted to say.  "I'm sorry," she apologized again, clutching the stack of papers tighter to her chest.  "I just . . . I don't know what to do . . . Will you help me?"

Mrs. Higurashi didn't ask anything as she drew Kagome into her arms, hugging her tight.  Tears welled up, spilled over as Kagome tried to steady her emotions, and her mother held her, waiting for Kagome to explain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Shini-dama-chuu:** Kikyou's soul collectors.
> 
> == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Kikyou:**  
>  So, InuYasha . . . you seek answers from me . . . ?


	7. Seeking Answers

~~ ** _Chapter 7_** ~~  
~ ** _Seeking Answers_** ~  


Mrs. Higurashi sighed softly as she stroked Kagome's hair.  Gradually the tears subsided, and Kagome sat back with a sniffle.  Mrs. Higurashi tugged a tissue from the box on her nightstand.  
  
"Thanks," Kagome mumbled as she dried her cheeks then blew her nose.  Drawing a deep, ragged breath, she shook her head slowly and climbed up onto the bed to sit beside her mother.  "I'm sorry for waking you up," she apologized again, "I just . . . I need to ask your advice."  
  
Mrs. Higurashi smiled as she brushed Kagome's bangs out of her eyes, her fingers gentle, warm.  "All right, you have my full attention."  
  
Kagome shrugged as she struggled to find a place to start.  "I was thinking a lot about Sango and Miroku . . . and I want to help them . . ."  
  
"Of course you do.   _Is_ there something you could do?"  
  
She shrugged again, staring carefully down at her lap.  "I think so . . . maybe . . . It started with something InuYasha said, and I started thinking . . ."  
  
"What did InuYasha say?" Mrs. Higurashi asked reluctantly.  
  
Kagome winced and hesitated before she answered, bolstering her courage to tell her mother what she had been mulling over.  Almost afraid that her mother would think she was insane, or worse, that she would laugh at her, Kagome sighed as she twisted her fingers together in her lap.  "Well, he didn't know he was giving me an idea, but he said that the only way I could help them was to have . . . a baby . . . for them."  
  
When her mother didn't reply right away, Kagome dared a peek.  Staring out the window with a thoughtful frown on her face, she braced herself to be told that it was a foolish, stupid idea.  Instead Mrs. Higurashi sighed.  "That would be one way to help them, all right . . . Are you considering this?"  
  
"I researched it, online . . ." She handed over the stack of papers as Mrs. Higurashi fumbled around for her lamp switch.  
  
"Kagome . . . what about adoption?  Aren't there children that need a family?" her mother asked as she leafed through the stack of paper.  
  
"I don't know . . . most of the orphans we've seen are well past baby stage."    
  
"And you've read all this?" Mrs. Higurashi asked as she looked up from the barrage of information.  Then she sighed and slowly gave the faintest shake of her head.  "Of course you have.  You wouldn't have gotten me up in the middle of the night if you weren't seriously considering this."  
  
Kagome nodded.  "I just . . . I know it's a huge decision . . . I thought maybe you could give me some advice?"  
  
Mrs. Higurashi sighed and shook her head slowly.  "I think it would be very hard . . . How would you . . . do this?  They can't come through the well . . ."  
  
Kagome made a face.  "I don't know . . . I thought maybe I could bring some of Miroku's . . . stuff . . . back in something."  She could feel the flush rise in her face and swallowed hard.  
  
Mrs. Higurashi sighed again.  "And Sango's egg?"  
  
"That's what makes it more difficult," she finally said.  "I think I'd have to use my own."  
  
"I see . . . that _would_ make it more difficult.  Would you be able to do that?"  
  
It was Kagome's turn to sigh.  "I don't know . . . When I think about Sango's face, her sadness . . . but then I think, I couldn't . . . and then I think of Sango's face again . . ."  
  
Her mother looked troubled, though she finally managed a wan smile.  "But you don't have to make this decision tonight."  
  
She nodded and leaned against her mother's shoulder.  "I don't _want_ to make it right now . . ."  
  
Mrs. Higurashi slipped her arm around Kagome's shoulder and squeezed.  "There's another thing you need to consider.  How do you think InuYasha would feel about this?"  
  
Kagome drew another deep breath.  "I don't know . . . sometimes I feel like we're so close, and others . . ." she trailed off as more tears stung the back of her eyelids.  "I guess we're just friends."  
  
Mrs. Higurashi clucked her tongue as though she didn't agree.  "Are you planning on asking InuYasha what he thinks?"  
  
She couldn't hide the grimace as she considered InuYasha's possible reactions—none of which were positive.  "I planned on it, but I don't really expect that he'll be very supportive."  
  
A sudden cloud filtered over her mother's features.  "Kagome . . . you're not thinking of doing this to spite him, are you?"  
  
Frowning in confusion, Kagome shook her head.  "To spite him?  No!  I wouldn't think of something like this just to hurt him.  This isn't _about_ him, Mama.  It's about Sango and Miroku . . ."  
  
Mrs. Higurashi let out a deep breath but managed a wan smile.  "Okay, good.  How about this: I'll make you an appointment to see a doctor so you can hear everything for yourself, from a professional."  
  
Kagome nodded.  Mrs. Higurashi kissed her forehead and squeezed her shoulders again.  "Mama . . . would you go with me?"  
  
With another sigh and another hug, her mother's smile widened just a little bit more.  "Of course."  
  
Kagome hugged her back and scooted off the bed.  "Thanks . . . goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight, dear."  
  
Kagome headed to her bedroom and shut the door.  Instead of going to bed, she wandered to the window and stared at the God Tree, bathed in the gentle light of the full moon.  ' _InuYasha . . . where are you tonight?  Do you miss me at all?  Are you sleeping in Goshinboku?_ '  She drew a deep breath and shook her head.  He felt so far away . . .  
  
' _What will I do if he really hates the idea?  Could I do this if he doesn't like it?_ '  She bit her bottom lip and sighed.  She didn't know the answer to that . . .  
  


:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::  


"Shippou?  Where are you going?"  
  
Glancing back at Miroku, Shippou shrugged before heaving a heavy sigh.  "I was just going to see if Kagome came back yet," he admitted.  "I miss her."  
  
Miroku smiled and ruffled Shippou's auburn hair.  "She'll be back . . . and remember: we don't really _want_ her to come back yet."  
  
Shippou made a face.  " _InuYasha no baka_ . . . why did he have to go look for Kikyou anyway?  If Kagome finds out, she'll probably end up crying again . . ."  
  
"Precisely why we hope she doesn't come back until _after_ InuYasha does."  
  
Shippou nodded and started back along the path toward the Bone Eater's Well.  
  
He was halfway through the forest when a strange scent caught his attention.  With a frown, he stopped and glanced around.  "Who's there?"  
  
The bushes off to the left rustled.  Shippou screwed his face up into what he hoped was a fierce glower and dug into his shirt for his 'weapons': his toys.  
  
The bushes rustled again, and Shippou leapt.  "Huh?" he mumbled as he came up with his hands wrapped around the scrawny neck of a malnourished monkey.  "Who are you?  Don't you know that sneaking up on someone is a good way to get yourself killed?"  
  
The monkey changed into a more human-looking form with a quiet 'pop' and a puff of smoke before he turned sad eyes on the kitsune.  With a sigh, Shippou let go before digging into his shirt again, this time for a dried persimmon.  "Here . . . you look like you could use that."  The monkey youkai hesitated but finally took the food.  Trying to gobble it down as fast as he could, he choked.  Shippou rolled his eyes and patted the little youkai's back.  "I'm Shippou, Master of Illusion . . . What's your name?"  
  
The monkey swallowed the last of the persimmon and sighed, staring at Shippou with an air of fearful wonder.  "Ichisaru," he replied.  
  
"Are you alone?  Traveling?  I travel sometimes, with my friends."  
  
Ichisaru nodded slowly and glanced over his shoulder. "No . . . I'm with my master."  
  
"Master?" Shippou echoed with a marked frown.  "What do you mean, master?"  
  
Ichisaru shrugged, his little face registering a pathetic mix of sadness and loneliness.  "Master takes care of me, since my mother and father died."  
  
"My parents both died, too," Shippou said.  "That's why I'm here with my friends.  I watch over them, you know.  They're just weak humans, except for InuYasha, but he's hanyou . . ."  
  
The monkey youkai suddenly stiffened, alarm making his eyes widen, making his tail curl into a springy coil.  "Wh-what kind of hanyou?"  
  
Shippou, missing the obvious signs of panic since he was busy digging around for some of his toys to show off with, shrugged carelessly and, with an arrogant snort, said, "Inu-youkai and human."  
  
Ichisaru grimaced.  "Silver hair?  Dog ears?"  
  
"Yeah . . . have you met him already?"  
  
"Yeah . . ." the monkey grumbled, rubbing his head as though he were remembering being on the receiving end of a good hanyou-thumping.  "He hit my head."  
  
Shippou laughed.  "He does that to me all the time.  He's got a wicked temper . . . Did you deserve it?"  
  
"No!"  Ichisaru winced.  "Well, yeah . . . sort of . . ."  
  
That got Shippou's attention.  Regarding the youkai with a measure of suspicion, he shook his head slowly.  "What did you do?"  
  
Ichisaru blushed.  "I used my monkey form to try to trick the girl so I could steal the Shikon no Tama, for my master."  
  
"You mean Kagome?  No wonder he thumped you.  Kagome's his woman . . . Well, she _would_ be, if that baka would get around to telling her that."  
  
Ichisaru sighed and shook his head.  "I better go.  If I'm not back soon, my master will be angry, and—"  
  
" _Ichisaru!  Where are you, you worthless brat?_ "  
  
Both youkai cringed at the tone of that loud bellow.  "Is that your master?" Shippou whispered, having recovered from his initial shock.  
  
Ichisaru nodded miserably.  "Goodbye, Shippou . . . thanks for the persimmon."  
  
"Hey, wait!" Shippou called after him.  Ichisaru stopped and stared at the kitsune.  "What is your master?"  
  
Ichisaru swallowed hard.  "He's human . . . a really _big_ human . . ."  
  
Shippou considered that for a moment then shrugged off-handedly.  "Why don't you stay here?  My friends and I can protect you."  
  
A cautious light brightened the depths of Ichisaru's blue gaze.  "R-Really?"  
  
Shippou nodded.  "Yeah, but for now, we'd better get out of here."  Heading back onto the path, Shippou waved for Ichisaru to follow.  "I was just heading toward the well, to see if Kagome came back yet."  
  
Ichisaru frowned but fell into step behind Shippou.  "She lives in a well?"  
  
Shippou laughed.  "In the well?  No . . . it's just how she gets home . . ."  
  
"Oh . . ." Ichisaru said with a shake of his head, obviously not understanding, at all.  Shippou grinned and led the way.  
  


:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

InuYash a stifled a frustrated growl as he launched himself off the ground, mid-stride.  ' _Damn waste of time_ ,' he thought with a snort.  ' _Three days, and when I finally did find Kikyou_ . . .'  
  
It had taken three days to locate the resurrected priestess, and with each of those passing days, InuYasha's temper had escalated just a little bit more.  By the time he had found her in a clearing, deep in the forest where she was gathering herbs, it had taken every bit of self-control to keep from snapping her head off at first sight.  
  
" _Where the hell have you been hiding?" he demanded, eyes blazing with every negative emotion that had simmered in the three-day search_.  
  
 _Kikyou turned to smile at InuYasha but sighed upon seeing the very recognizable signs of a hanyou on the edge.  "Nice to see you, too, InuYasha.  I've not been hiding."  Resuming her task, her calm only served to bolster InuYasha's anger_.  
  
" _Keh, whatever.  What do you know about the old sage in the north forest?_ "  
  
 _Kikyou sat back on her heels and shook her head.  "Matsukita, you mean?  He's very old_."  
  
 _InuYasha snorted.  "I know that.  He's also very dead_."  
  
" _I see_ . . ."  
  
" _There was something strange about his death," InuYasha explained as Kikyou stared past him at the forest.  "It felt . . . weird_."  
  
" _What do you mean?_ "  
  
 _InuYasha shook his head as he struggled to find a way to explain what he'd felt in the old man's hut.  "When we got there, he hadn't been dead long, but . . . there was this weird feeling, like . . . like his soul was already gone_ . . ."  
  
 _Kikyou stood up slowly and frowned.  "Was he killed?_ "  
  
 _"I don't know . . . maybe . . . there was another person there—a woman—and it smelled like they . . . they . . ." Furious with himself, InuYasha felt his face flush, and he still couldn't bring himself to say what it was he had discerned_.  
  
 _Kikyou looked surprised.  "Old Sage Matsukita and this woman you sensed, you mean?_ "  
  
" _Well, yeah."  He sighed as Kikyou pondered his statement.  "There's something else, too . . . I got a feeling . . . I don't know why, but I think Kagome . . . I think she's in danger_."  
  
" _Because of the jewel?_ "  
  
 _InuYasha shook his head.  "I don't know.  It's just a hunch, but it won't go away_."  
  
" _So you sought me out for information," she said with an understanding nod.  "I see . . . I'm sorry.  I have none to offer you.  I wish I did_."  
  
 _InuYasha clenched his fists in frustration and nodded.  "Damn_."  
  
 _Slowly Kikyou retrieved her bow and the quiver of arrows that lay on the ground beside her herb basket.  She was quiet for awhile as she meticulously checked her bow.  Finally she sighed and smiled slightly as she lifted her chin to gaze at InuYasha.  "Have you told her?_ "  
  
" _Keh!  Are you nuts?  Of course not!  I can't tell her I think she's in danger but have no idea why_."  
  
 _Kikyou shook her head and sighed.  "Not that, InuYasha . . . I didn't think you would tell her that.  I meant, have you told her how you feel?_ "  
  
 _He looked away as he felt his cheeks burn.  "Dunno what you're talking about," he grumbled_.  
  
 _Kikyou chuckled.  "You don't have to protect my feelings.  I've known for a long time, and I'm not angry anymore_." _Her smile faded, and she took on a more serious expression as she stared at him.  "I used to wish that things had been different, that I would have lived, but I also realized that it doesn't do any good to wish for things that can never be.  You and I  . . . we were a dream . . . a beautiful dream, and dreams aren't ever meant to last_."  
  
" _Kikyou_ . . ."  
  
" _It's all right.  Kagome is the one you need to protect.  She's the one you were always meant to protect . . . and to love_."  
  
He didn't answer.  Unable to admit as much to himself, there wasn't any way he could admit it to Kikyou, of all people, and Kagome?  He flinched as he shook himself out of his reverie and pushed off the ground once more.  ' _Better to have Kagome as a friend than not at all.  Just be happy for what you have and stop trying to reach for what you can't touch_ . . .'  
  
InuYasha didn't realize when his ears flattened against his head, didn't notice the soft sigh that escaped him as he thought about her: Kagome.  So quick with her smile, so easy to make her laugh . . . she was a mystery to him with her tears and her temper, her quiet joy, her beauty that shone from the inside outward . . . all wrapped up in the warmth and gentleness of spirit that was her, personified.  
  
' _Maybe_ ,' he thought with a bitter smile, ' _maybe Kikyou was right.  Maybe dreams aren't meant to last_.'  
  


:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

With a heavy sigh as she lugged the huge backpack filled with treats for her friends out of the well, Kagome set the bag down and stretched.  "Oh!" she gasped, wrinkling her nose as she bent over to dig into the side pocket of the huge bag for the sheet of notebook paper that Sango had written her flower request on.  Kagome had forgotten to give it to her mother before she came back.  
  
Staring at the bag with a thoughtful frown, Kagome wondered if it would be safe enough to leave it instead of having to drag it around any more than necessary.  
  
She was still debating that when Shippou shouted her name.  "Kagome!" the kitsune hollered as he launched himself straight at her.    
  
She caught him and barely managed to keep from falling from the force of the impact but giggled.  "Did you miss me?"  
  
"Yeah!  Did you bring me pocky?"  
  
Kagome's attention was caught on the small child youkai that had followed Shippou hesitantly.  She narrowed her gaze as she tried to place the familiar youki.  "Who's your friend?"  
  
Shippou glanced over from his task of trying to break into the goodie-filled backpack.  "That's Ichisaru.  You've already met him, right?  When he tried to take the Shikon no Tama?"  
  
At Shippou's words, Ichisaru froze, his little face paling as he wrung his hands nervously with a small squeaking-monkey noise.  
  
"I see," Kagome said evenly as she stared at the monkey youkai.  "So your name's Ichisaru?  You didn't come back to try to steal the jewel again, did you?"  
  
The little monkey youkai nodded slowly and shifted from one foot to the other.  "You . . . You aren't going to send that hanyou after me again, are you?" he asked timidly, covering his head with his hands.  
  
"It depends," Kagome lied since she had no intention of doing anything of the sort.  The youkai didn't seem any older than Shippou . . . not even as old as Shippou, actually . . . Still she couldn't let him think he'd be allowed to take the jewel, either.  "Why do you want the jewel?"  
  
He sniffled and hung his human-looking head.  "I don't," he confessed.  "My old master does."  
  
"Who's your old master?"  
  
He shrugged.  "I don't know . . . I always called him 'master' . . ."  
  
"I see."  
  
"He's human—a really _big_ human, Ichisaru said," Shippou answered as he dug two boxes of pocky out of the bag and tossed one to Ichisaru.  "I told Ichisaru he could stay.  He doesn't have anyone, either."  
  
"If you want to stay then you have to promise me that you'll never try to take the Shikon no Tama," Kagome warned.  "If you try, InuYasha will thump you again."  
  
Ichisaru swallowed hard and rubbed his head, obviously remembering the previous thumping.  "All right," he agreed.  "I promise!  Monkey shake?" he offered, hopping around to wiggle his tail at Kagome.  
  
Kagome covered her mouth as she tried not to laugh.  She swooped the monkey child into her arms and gave him a quick squeeze instead.  "I'm going to trust you," she remarked, "so you'd better be telling me the truth."  
  
Ichisaru nodded as his face exploded in a wash of bashful color.  Kagome squeezed him again before she set him down and pointed to the pocky Shippou had so generously offered to share.  "There.  Those are Shippou's favorites."  
  
Ichisaru sat down and started tugging at the box with a scowl of concentration, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth.  
  
"Shippou, can you stay here while I run this back home?  Just promise me you won't eat all the pocky or you'll make yourself sick."  
  
Shippou nodded and waved a hand to dismiss her.  Kagome rolled her eyes and hopped back into the well.  
  
Ichisaru was adorable, she had to admit.  She frowned as she climbed up the ladder at the shrine.  Knowing InuYasha, he wouldn't like the new youkai.  She'd just have to reassure him that she'd be more careful with the jewel . . .  
  
"Mama!" she called as she stepped inside the back door.  Mrs. Higurashi answered from the kitchen.  Kagome hurried in to give her the list.  "Here . . . I forgot to give this to you . . . Sango's choices."  
  
Mrs. Higurashi glanced up from washing dishes and wiped her hands on a towel before taking the paper.  With a slight frown, she shook her head.  "That's interesting," she commented.  
  
"What is?"  
  
She smiled.  "She chose all lilies . . ."  
  
Kagome hurriedly kissed her mother's cheek and grimaced.  "I've got to go.  I left Shippou alone with the pocky."  
  
"All right.  Kagome, I made that appointment for you.  It's next Monday."  
  
Kagome nodded and smiled before she waved and darted back toward the door again.  
  
Her smile disappeared as she ran to the well-house.  That was the main reason she decided to go back so soon.  She had to talk to InuYasha.  
  
As she dropped back into the well, she sighed.  She'd given it a lot of thought in the last couple of days, and she'd come to a few conclusions.  She didn't try to convince herself that InuYasha would be supportive of her idea.  That wasn't ever even a possibility in her head.  She just wanted to make him understand, if it were possible, and she wanted to know how he felt about it.  
  
Climbing out of the well, Kagome grinned as she heard the two youkai youths discussing crayons.  Shippou was trying to tell Ichisaru what they were, and the monkey youkai was obviously having trouble understanding.  
  
"You two eat all the pocky?" she asked as she hauled herself out of the well.  
  
Shippou blinked innocently.  "No . . ."  
  
Kagome narrowed her eyes at him but smiled.  "Meaning you left one whole box?"  
  
Shippou grinned.  "Half of one . . ."  
  
"Ugh, Shippou . . ." Tugging the monstrous backpack over her shoulder, Kagome sighed.  "Is InuYasha around?  I need to talk to him."  
  
"InuYasha?" Shippou echoed as he and Ichisaru led the way toward the forest trail.  "I haven't _seen_ him . . ."  
  
Kagome frowned.  "Did he go hunting?"  
  
"Hunting?  Yeah . . . yeah, he went _hunting_."  
  
Kagome didn't say anything else as they made their way back to the village.  Maybe Shippou was preoccupied with his new friend.  In any case, she brushed off his strange answer as she sighed.  She really wanted to get this talk with InuYasha over with.  She needed to know where she stood with him, wanted him to at least try to understand why she would even consider carrying a baby for Miroku and Sango.  
  
Miroku waved when he caught sight of Kagome and the youkai heading toward him as Sango glanced up from her vegetable plot.  "Who's this?" Miroku asked as he knelt down to look at the newest arrival.  
  
"This is Ichisaru.  He's a monkey youkai," Shippou supplied as Ichisaru blinked in wide-eyed wonder at Miroku.  
  
"This is Miroku and Sango," Kagome said, waving a hand at Sango.  The exterminator stood and brushed her hands off as she came over to meet Ichisaru.    
  
"Hello," Sango greeted as she knelt beside Miroku.  
  
Ichisaru leaned his head to the side and stared at Sango.  "You're sad . . . why?"  
  
Sango forced a small smile.  "I lost a baby recently," she answered, her voice soft, eyes bright though no tears fell.  
  
The little monkey youkai nodded slowly.  "I lost my mother and father . . . I'll be your friend," he offered.  
  
Sango's smile widened slightly.  "All right.  I'd like that."  
  
Ichisaru grinned.  "Me, too!" he exclaimed as he hopped down and spun around.  Before Kagome could say anything, Ichisaru wiggled his tail and hollered, "Monkey shake!"  
  
Sango covered her mouth as her eyes brightened.  Miroku turned his head and coughed into his raised fist.  Kagome giggled.  
  
"Did InuYasha say when he'd be back?" Kagome asked after she got her giggling under control.  She scowled as Miroku and Sango exchanged a telling look.  "All right, first Shippou acts strange, now you two.  What is it?"  
  
"Strange?" Miroku echoed.  "We're fine . . . never better!"  
  
"What _aren't_ you telling me?" Kagome demanded quietly, eyes shifting to stare each of her friends in the eye.  When Sango's eyes fell away, unable to meet her gaze, Kagome shook her head slowly and swallowed hard.  "I see," she rasped out, her mind understanding what her friends didn't want to say.  She cleared her throat and stepped back.   "I just remembered . . . I forgot something at home . . . I'll be back . . ."  
  
Whirling on her heel, Kagome stalked off again as fast as she could without running.  Willing her mind to blank out the rising hurt, the welling panic, she blinked as tears gathered in her eyes.  
  
' _Kikyou . . . you went to see her, didn't you?  That's why you wanted me to stay gone . . . InuYasha_ . . .'  
  
Striding through the forest, Kagome dashed a nimble hand across her eyes and sighed.  She didn't notice the subtle change in the air, the awakening of the forest to welcome home its namesake.  InuYasha dropped out of the trees right in Kagome's path.  She gasped and stopped before taking a step back, away from his imposing presence.  "Thought you'd still be gone," he remarked in an accusing tone.  
  
She cleared her throat and shook her head.  "Did you go see Kikyou?" she asked quietly, breath held as she waited for his answer.  
  
He shot her a guilty look, ears flattening against his head as his face shifted into the well-known pout.  "Keh."  
  
She nodded and pursed her lips as she sighed.  "Would you tell me why if I asked you?"  
  
An odd look, almost pained, flashed over his features before he blanked his expression.  He shrugged.  "It's not important."  
  
Kagome's gaze dropped to the packed dirt of the forest path.  As if by rote, they moved on their own, carrying her toward the well as she felt the sharp pang of frustration, of sadness, of complete and total futility twist her stomach . . . or was that her heart?   ' _There's your answer, Kagome_ ," she told herself as she tried to hold back her tears.  ' _He can't really say it much better than that, can he?_   _He really_ doesn't _care, not at all_ . . .'

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Ichisaru:** One Monkey . . . get it? lol!  
>  Saru means 'monkey', ichi means 'one'  
>  **Matsukita:** 'North Pine'
> 
> == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Ichisaru:**  
>  Monkey shake!!  
>  ==========


	8. Dancing with the Devil

~~ ** _Chapter 8_** ~~  
~ ** _Dancing with the Devil_** ~  


" _Oi!_   _Kagome!_ "  
  
To InuYasha's surprise she did stop though she didn't turn to face him.  He grimaced as he ran after her.  "You can't just leave," he told her.  Arms crossed over her chest as she stared at the ground, Kagome didn't answer, and she didn't move.  Trying to keep from letting her see how guilty he felt about being caught, InuYasha grabbed her arm.  "It wasn't . . . it's not what you think."  
  
Her voice was husky, thick with barely controlled emotion.  "You don't have to explain it to me.  I'm not a baby.  It's fine, really.  At least, it'll _be_ fine."  
  
"Damn it—"  
  
She sighed.  "I can't do this right now . . ."  
  
He watched as she brushed past him and headed toward the meadow.  A sudden scent came to him, one that he vaguely recognized.  Eyes flaring wide as he darted forward, he yelled, "Wait!"  
  
She stopped again.  "InuYasha—"  
  
He cut her off by grabbing her around the waist and leaping into a nearby tree to deposit her on the branch.  "Stay here, wench," he ordered as he hopped back down.  
  
"This isn't funny, InuYasha!" she hollered angrily since she was at least fifty feet off the ground.   ' _Just where does he think I'll go?  Baka!_ '  
  
"Might as well come out.  I can smell you," InuYasha growled as he stood below the tree, staring off into the foliage.  
  
Kagome's frown deepened as she leaned over as far as she dared without letting go of her branch to see who InuYasha was looking at.  She gasped as a giant, lumbering man stepped out of the forest.  Human, certainly, and entirely intimidating, InuYasha only stood as tall as the man's chest, and, in Kagome's opinion, InuYasha definitely wasn't what she'd consider short.  
  
The man's shaggy, mud brown hair hung in oily strands in his face, nearly covering the deep hollows where tiny glints showed where his eyes should have been.  Deep folds of skin that looked flabby belied the definite muscle under the superficial fat cushioned the man's entire body.  Raising a fleshy arm to poke a fat finger in InuYasha's face accusingly, the man demanded, "What'd you do with my monkey?"  
  
InuYasha scowled.  "Your what?"  
  
"My monkey!" he growled.  
  
"Ichisaru," Kagome murmured, worry for the small monkey youkai nudging aside her upset with the hanyou.  "InuYasha!  The monkey youkai that tried to steal the jewel!  That's his master!"  
  
"Keh!  Sending a runt like that to do your job?  Or are you too fucking fat to catch Kagome?" InuYasha taunted.  
  
The man's face turned a ruddy shade, and for a moment Kagome wondered if he was about to pass out.  As it was, he lumbered forward to tower over InuYasha.  The hanyou didn't move.  "Big words for such a little youkai," the man said.  
  
InuYasha didn't correct the assumption.  "Even if I knew where the hell your monkey was, do you think I'd tell you?  Stay away from the Shikon no Tama or I'll introduce you to Tetsusaiga."  
  
"Tetsusaiga?  Who's that?"  
  
"A close friend of mine," InuYasha snarled.  "Now get out of my face before I change my mind and slice you to ribbons."  
  
Kagome made a face.  ' _Stay away from the jewel, huh?  What about the girl who's_ got _the jewel?_ ' she fumed then shook her head.  
  
The man moved so quickly that Kagome had trouble seeing his hands.  With a mighty shove, he pushed InuYasha hard.  InuYasha hadn't been ready for the action, and he flew back, right into the tree trunk.  Kagome screamed as she nearly toppled off the branch.  She slipped but managed to catch herself, locking her fingers together around the branch as she dangled over the ground.  The man saw it as his opportunity and stalked toward her.  " _InuYasha!_ "  
  
InuYasha staggered to his feet, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs from his mind.  At the sound of her screaming his name, he uttered a curse as he shot forward.  InuYasha caught the man with his shoulder against his torso.  The human was the one to be sent airborne this time, and Kagome screeched InuYasha's name once more.  Her fingers were slipping; she could feel them coming apart.  With a muttered curse, InuYasha leaped up to catch her as her fingers gave way.  Her arms wrapped around his neck as she hid her face in the folds of his haori, struggling to breathe as she fought to gain control of her trembling limbs.  
  
She didn't notice that he didn't put her down right away.  "You all right, Kagome?" he asked in an unusually soft tone.  
  
Lifting her face, she blinked as she stared into his eyes.  Late worry lit his eyes with an unnatural light, an amber shade that penetrated Kagome's brain, froze her in place, made her forget everything but the flames that danced in the swirling depths of gold.  The angles of his face, the hollows under his cheekbones, the stark contrast of silvery hair and the blackest eyebrows entranced her.  He was everything to her, everything she dreamed of, the unattainable dream that she just wanted to touch.  She swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly dry, as his gaze dropped to her lips.  She gasped as her belly erupted with a thousand different sensations, none of them unpleasant, all of them unsettling.  
  
Her gasp seemed to shock him out of his apparent trance.  He cleared his throat and set her on her feet before stepping back and turning away.  Kagome pressed the palm of her hand against her stomach and suppressed the urge to sigh.  The man had taken the opportunity to escape, and judging from InuYasha's current preoccupation, he wasn't thinking about going after him.  For a moment, Kagome had to wonder if that wasn't a mistake.  
  
' _Now that's what you're supposed to feel like right before a guy kisses you_ ,' her mind piped up.  
  
Kagome made a face.  ' _I'm going to ignore that_ . . .'  
  
' _Ignore it all you'd like, Kagome . . . you know I'm right_.'  
  
Blushing at her own thoughts, Kagome shuffled her feet and stared at the grass.  
  
Seconds dragged into minutes, minutes could have given way to hours, everything that combined to bring them together were the same things that fractured as they stood so far apart.  Kagome realized the complexity in this, and yet she refused to acknowledge the rift.  As though he needed the time to gather his composure, Kagome couldn't help but wish once more for things that no one could ever guarantee.  
  
InuYasha finally turned around and started walking toward the forest path.  "Come on, Kagome.  We can't stand around here all day."  
  
Staring at his retreating back, Kagome heaved a sigh and fell in step behind him.  It didn't occur to her that she had been going home as she followed him into the forest again.  


 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Hisadai cho surveyed the interior of the castle with an approving smile. It wasn't so difficult to acquire. Simply a matter of locating the most strategic place, really. Close enough to keep watch, far enough away to escape notice for awhile, this one was also very spacious and came with a host of servants.  
  
' _Perfect_ ,' she thought. Seducing the previous owner of the castle had been a simple affair. Acquiring his soul had been her true pleasure, once she had obtained the necessary signature on the document that gave her full control of the man's wealth, and now the castle was hers. Old and ailing, the man had welcomed the attention of the 'beautiful girl'. His death had seemed quite natural, and he had died with a smile on his face.  
  
Sauntering over to the window, Hisadaicho stared at the lands around the immense castle. It was too soon to hope for Oro's return. He, too, had been simple to manipulate, and once she was finished with him, he, too, would be simple to dispose of.  
  
Wandering through the spacious rooms, touching everything, she didn't think she could get enough of the tactile sensations, the significance of the senses that had been dormant far, far too long. She craved touch, feel, pleasure . . . as though her body had been brought back, fevered and starving, a voracious need accompanied her every movement, her every thought, the will to dominate as she had once been dominated, the desire to have the carnal sins that had eluded her for so long.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed one of the young servants watching her. His spirit was strong, unbroken, and his gaze full of a darkening burn. Still a boy trapped inside the well honed body of a man, Hisadaicho size him up, savored the unbridled lust in his unabashed stare. She beckoned him to her. She nearly laughed as he hurried to her side. "Mistress?" he said, his voice deep, husky.  
  
"I will have need of you," she informed him as she grabbed hold of him through the bindings of his clothes. Springing to life under her touch, his body untried . . . and she would have him. "Come to me when you've finished your tasks . . . I'm certain I can find something that might interest you."  
  
A quick smile as the young man bowed to her, and she smiled as he rushed off to finish his duties.  
  
With a sigh, she turned and headed toward the stairs, to the privacy of the master suite. Anxious to be alone, her body screamed with the need to be touched.  
  
Everything about this place bespoke wealth, fine things. Hisadaicho's smile widened as she ran her fingertips along the gold inlaid banister. This place would be perfect. ' _Koishii . . . only the finest for you_ . . .' She sighed, lips pursing in a slight pout. ' _But first_ . . .'  
  
Opening her mouth and uttering the soundless cry, Hisadaicho stepped inside her chamber and waited for the one she had summoned. Hating the confines of the charade, the restrictions of the role she must play, ' _Be patient_ ,' she soothed herself. ' _Koishii will be my reward_ . . .' Fleeting memories of hours of pleasure, of being taken by numerous men, men whose faces she didn't recall but the pleasure had been lasting enough to sustain her, and she would have it again.  
  
The one known as Iwazawa lumbered in and silently awaited her instruction.  
  
Regarding the captain of her guards, she stepped over to him, ran her fingers over his sunken cheek. He didn't flinch or shy away from her. Slowly, deliberately, she drew her hand back, cracked it against his face. The alabaster skin gained no color. She slapped him again and smiled as a trace of pink edged into the marble-like flesh. "It is time. Send your best men. I require information on the one they call Sesshoumaru."  
  
Iwazawa grunted in reply as he backed out of the chamber and slid the door closed. Hisadaicho stripped off her kimono and lay on the mountain of heaped pillows on the thick futon mattress. ' _Soon, koishii_ . . .' she thought as her hands trailed up her body. ' _Soon_ . . .'  
  
Brushing her palms over her stomach, up the rising swell of her breasts, the ache in her nipples painful as she squeezed them, flicking her thumbs over the nubs of flesh again and again. _'My koishii,_ ' she thought as her hands became his, as her touch melted into the one she longed for. A low moan escaped her as her head fell back. Delicious sensation, the need for repletion, she brought a hand to her lips, let her tongue swirl over them.  
  
Rolling her nipple between her fingers as her body coiled around the central burn, an ache so strong erupting deep within, the need for the satisfaction of the primitive desire grew. Fingers still damp from her own saliva, she lowered her hand to the thick curls. Heat washed in the air, the quivering mass of flesh that desired touch called to her as wetness dripped down her thighs. Erotic visions of hands, of mouths, of men and women, of bodies left exhausted and bloodied . . . Her koishii had taught her well, these things , taught her how to take pleasure in the insanity of pain, how to accept the act, how to bend the will.  
  
Plunging her fingers into herself as she imagined the body of her beloved, his touch, his caress, his brutal ravaging of her mind, body, and soul, a cry of satisfaction echoing through the chamber as her hand was drenched in her own liquid heat. Absolute pleasure, absolute sensation as she pumped her fingers in and out. Licking her other fingers, she reached down to nudge herself completely open, finding the place that ached, stroking it, rubbing it, touching it, moaning as tremors rocked through her, thrashing her body as the first spasms of bliss surged in her . . .  
  
Throwing her head back as her pleasure came, screaming out in the silence of the chamber, she trembled, shook. Opening her eyes, she saw him, the servant she'd ordered to come to her, staring at her with a mixture of desire and fear.  She pulled her fingers out of herself and slowly, deliberately sucked them.  
  
"Pleasure me," she ordered softly as she stood. The servant struggled with his clothing. Hisadaicho stalked him; waited until he shed the last of his clothes before she pressed against him, let him feel the softness of her body against the throb of his desire. "Lay down," she murmured in his ear. "I'll show you how I treat my servants."  
  
He did as he was commanded, taking the place she had just vacated as his body trembled. She stood over him, straddling him, letting him stare up at her as she deliberately reached down to stroke herself again, as her fluid stimulation dripped down her legs.  
  
"Do you wish to touch me?" she asked as she lowered herself to her knees. Unable to speak, the man nodded. "What's your name?"  
  
"Aki," he answered in a hoarse whisper.  
  
She didn't respond as she crawled forward, straddling his face. Lowering herself over his lips, she demanded, "Devour me."  
  
Instantly his tongue darted out, touching her, teasing her, the delicate dance of flesh against flesh. Rocking her hips over him, she moaned as he clumsily fed on her. Arching back, hands on the pillows, she thrust her sex against his mouth as he groaned, arms wrapping around her thighs as he pulled her more firmly against his lips as his tongue reached inside her, stroked her, writhed in her. Pleasure exploded deep inside her, goaded further by the sinful sounds as Aki slurped up her moisture, as he ingested the very essence of her  
  
' _There is nothing dirty in pleasuring the flesh,_ ' her koishii had assured her. When she had been young and frightened . . . the first time he took her had been vicious, brutal, leaving her bloody and broken and burning for more . . . insatiable, he had called her. She preferred to believe that he, who had taught her so very much, enjoyed watching as she had succumbed to all manner of beings . . . castle servants, wandering samurais, whomever her koishii could find to satiate her newly awakened desires . . . She learned to accept pleasure from man or woman, from youkai or beast . . . it mattered not, so long as her pleasure was reached, and in the end, it was always her koishii who pleasured her last and best.  
  
Turing around so she could lay on his chest, Aki continued to flick his tongue against her, to plunge inside her, to discover more liquid heat as she roughly wrapped her hands around him. With a gasping moan his hips rose off the pillows as she opened her lips, drew him into her. Biting down on him as he whimpered, she took her mouth away long enough to reprimand him, "I didn't tell you to stop."  
  
Sucking on her as she lowered her mouth over him again, Hisadaicho closed her eyes. Images, faded and wan, memories of her koishii teaching her how to love and be loved, how to give pleasure and accept pain spun through her mind, tumbled one upon another . . . bittersweet and poignant, she tried to recreate the wonder, the bliss, the consuming fire of the flesh.  
  
When his body started to constrict, to thicken between her lips, Hisadaicho pulled away. He sucked harder on her, drawing out every drop of her as he shuddered beneath her. Pulling away from him, she turned around again, and, bracing her feet on the mattress, she slammed herself down on him. Pleasure so intense gripped him as he sat up with a rough cry, she showed him no mercy as she pistoned herself up and down on him as her mind called out, ' _Koishii . . . koishii . . . my koishii . . ._ '  
  
Pleasure burst through her with the consuming force of her voracious need. His end came with hers, his cry echoing off the walls as she convulsed around him. Primordial lust was still unsatisfied, a voracious appetite simply whetted and unrequited. She demanded more that he could give. With a frustrated sigh, pulled away from him only to straddle his face once more. "Clean me," she instructed, lowering herself over his mouth again. An expression of disbelief was soon forgotten as he did as she instructed, taking in his own fluids mixed with hers. She smiled, grinding herself into his mouth, losing herself in the complete pleasure of domination, in the complete act of debilitating lust.  
  
Finally satisfied for the moment, Hisadaicho stood and moved away. The young man who had entered her chamber at her bidding had become a man, for her. "You pleased me, Aki, and for that, I shall allow you to live. But you shall be at my whim, when I will, where I will. Is that understood?"  
  
"Yes," he answered, his gaze bewitched, his body hard and ready again.  
  
She smiled. "Kiss me . . . and then you may use this in me," she promised, stroking his shaft as it jerked in her hand.  
  
He did as she instructed. She felt the repletion of his soul fill her, and though she wanted it all, she forced herself to leave just enough . . . enough of his soul to bind him to her, her servant forever. When she broke the kiss, she smiled, pleased that his eyes were still filled with passion, his body still ready for her. "Are you ready?"  
  
"As you wish, my mistress," he answered, his voice a dull monotone. Grabbing her and turning her, he forced her to bend as he entered her savagely from behind.  Eyes rolling back in her head as she moaned and panted, gasped and groaned, the incredible fullness of feeling him deep inside her was torturous and magnificent.  Slamming into her with a brutality that bordered on pain, Aki grunted as his fingers dug into her shoulders, pulling back on her as he thrust deep inside her.  
  
Hisadaicho smiled as pleasure coursed through her body again. ' _If I cannot have my koishii yet . . . I can have this . . ._ '  


 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome stepped outside the hut and stared up at the stars hanging so high above, thick and pure in the moonlight.  A gentle smile surfaced as she tried to count them, despite the understanding that she'd never be able to track them all.  ' _The skies don't look like this in my time._ '  
  
"Ain't you supposed to be sleeping?"  
  
Kagome gasped and turned to stare up at InuYasha, who was lounging on the roof of the hut on his side, knee raised, arm draped casually over it while his other hand was propping up his head as he stared down at her, platinum hair glowing in the moonlight.  His face was darkened by shadows but his eyes glowed bright, intense.  
  
"I couldn't sleep," she whispered, knowing that he would hear her.  
  
Moving in a blur of crimson color, he hopped down and scooped her up before returning to the roof once more.  "Cold?" he asked, noticing that her hands were trembling.  
  
Kagome blinked as she glanced down, hoping that her flush didn't show.  "N-No . . ."  
  
"Keh."  
  
She frowned slightly.  Why did he sound disappointed with her answer?  "Maybe . . . a little . . ."  
  
He didn't answer but suddenly she found herself wrapped in his haori-clad arms, and she relaxed against his chest as the trembling spread to her knees, shivers running rampant up and down her spine.  
  
She turned her head to look at him only to find him staring at her in the same way that he had earlier, in the clearing by the well.  The same reaction shot through her.  He sighed and forced his gaze away, staring out over the village.  "What are you thinking about?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing . . . everything . . . It don't matter."  
  
"It matters to me."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Kagome sighed as she settled more comfortably against him.  "Because you matter to me."  
  
"Keh."  
  
Biting her lower lip, Kagome stared at the moon.  ' _Tell him . . . there's not going to be a better chance . . ._ ' She sighed again.  "InuYasha, I wanted to ask you something."  
  
"You didn't find a stray rabbit youkai, did you?  Because that runt fox was enough, and now that fucking monkey—"  
  
Poor little Ichisaru had been frightened to come face-to-face with InuYasha again.  Cowering behind Shippou, the youkai looked remarkably human, other than his long monkey tail and his toes that better resembled fingers.  Sango had insisted that he have a bath since he had been quite filthy.   His dark brown hair had shone in the firelight, shaking with the rest of him as he told InuYasha his reason for trying to steal the jewel.  He told her later that he had reverted to his monkey form in order to get close enough to grab the Shikon no Tama.  InuYasha had growled when Ichisaru confessed that.  Luckily the monkey youkai was out of InuYasha's reach.  Ichisaru's great blue eyes had stared, unblinking, as Kagome had informed InuYasha that he wasn't allowed to be cruel to such a young youkai.  
  
Ichisaru said he thought he was seven years-old.  He didn't really remember since his parents had died before he should have been able to fend for himself.  What had surprised Kagome, though, was InuYasha's comment to the monkey youkai, that, so long as he promised not to try to take the jewel again, he could stay.  She'd expected him to be much more irritated than he actually let on.  
  
"No," she assured him with a soft giggle.  .  "No, it's  . . . it's something I've been thinking about a lot."  When he didn't speak, she took that as his compliance.  She drew a deep breath.  "If you could do something to make someone you cared about really happy . . . would you do it, even if you weren't sure how hard it would be to do?"  
  
Eyebrows drawing together in a thoughtful scowl, InuYasha shook his head and shrugged slightly.  A single laugh escaped him; an entirely dry sound that held very little real humor.  "I do that every day."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
He sighed and shook his head.  "Keh.  No changing the subject, wench.  Of course I would.  Ain't that what you do for a friend?"  
  
She shook her head slowly.  "InuYasha . . . you don't understand, I—"  
  
"I do," he argued.  "Your friends are your pack.  In a pack, you do whatever you have to so that everyone is taken care of, right?"  
  
"I suppose, but—"  
  
"No 'buts'.  Keh.  I thought you _liked_ helping people."  Abruptly gathering her up again, InuYasha hopped back off the roof and set her on her feet.  "Get to bed or you'll never get up tomorrow, and since you're the one who talked me into this fucking celebration, then the least you can do is wake up before noon."  
  
Kagome wrinkled her nose and shot him a mock-glare before tossing her head and pushing back into the hut.  
  
He didn't smile until the mat fell closed behind her as he leapt back onto the roof again.  Stretching out on his back as he crossed his ankles and folded his arms behind his neck, InuYasha stared at the stars.  Kagome's words came back to him, and he sighed.  
  
' _If you could do something to make someone you cared about really happy . . . would you do it, even if you weren't sure how hard it would be to do?_ '  
  
It was true.  He did that every day, and as long as Kagome never knew . . . He stayed as far away from her as he could, and every day it became harder and harder to do.  ' _She deserves so much better . . . a home, a family, a life free of youkai chasing her for the Shikon no Tama . . . a life free of the stigma of the hanyou_ . . .' Ears flattening against his head, InuYasha sighed again into the stillness of the night.  ' _I think about her constantly, can't stand to be away from her . . . Kikyou was right, but . . ._ _she's Kagome, and I'm . . . nothing.  How much harder could it get_?'  He winced.  Somehow that question wasn't much consolation.  
  
And yet the way she looked at him . . .  
  
Deliberately pushing that thought aside, InuYasha scowled into the darkness.  With a soft growl, he sat up, slapping at his chest as he pulled open his haori.  "Myouga . . . I knew it.  Where the hell have you been?"  
  
The flea youkai groaned as he fell onto InuYasha's leg.  "I've been around, InuYasha-sama . . . was there something you required?"  
  
"Keh!  Yeah, there is.  Have you heard anything lately about anything unusual?"  
  
"Define 'unusual'," Myouga replied as he hopped up onto InuYasha's shoulder and started to inch closer to his neck.  
  
"Do it and die, you little bastard," InuYasha warned.  "I mean, out of the ordinary.  Kagome and I went to see the old sage, but he was dead."  
  
"Ah, yes . . . I heard he had died . . . He was quite old.  Are you sure that he didn't just die naturally?"  
  
Remembering the look on the sage's face, the absolute horror, the shock, InuYasha shook his head.  "He was killed."  
  
"Hmm," Myouga pondered as he sat down on the hanyou's shoulder.  "There have been rumors of a dormant power in the south. . . They say that the power has begun to shift, and something about a cave . . ."  
  
"Where is this cave?"  
  
Myouga shook his head.  "That I do not know, but I can look into it, if you wish?"  
  
InuYasha nodded.  "Might as well," he agreed.  "I got nothing otherwise.  Just hurry it up, will you?"  
  
"Why the urgency?"  
  
InuYasha lifted his fingers, poised to flick the flea off his shoulder.  Myouga, who had been trying to scoot closer to InuYasha's neck, stopped and folded his arms together.  Satisfied that the flea got the warning, InuYasha snorted.  "Keh.  Just a weird feeling . . ."  
  
Myouga hopped up and bowed.  "All right, then . . . I'll hurry . . . I don't suppose you'd allow me a small meal before I go?"  
  
InuYasha narrowed his eyes on the youkai.  Myouga quickly hopped down and disappeared into the night.  
  
' _Protect Kagome_ ,' he thought with a sigh.  It had become his mantra, his salvation.  ' _Protect Kagome . . . guard the Shikon no Tama . . . but Kagome . . . the unattainable dream_ . . .'  
  
Drawing a deep breath, InuYasha smiled just a little.  Kagome's scent was near, strong, comforting.  That had to be enough.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Iwazawa:** Rock of the Swamp/Marsh.
> 
> == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Myouga:**  
>  Must find this cave . . .  
> ==========


	9. Harsh Realities

~~ ** _Chapter 9_** ~~  
~ ** _Harsh Realities_** ~  


Kagome sat in the doctor's office trying not to fidget as Mrs. Higurashi offered her a compassionate smile.  Clutching her notebook in her hand, she forced a slight grin for her mother's benefit before shifting her gaze to the questions she had written down.  Struggling not to think about the reason for the visit, she sighed and reached for a semblance of inner peace.  It wasn't working.  
  
Dr. Hisaka had been highly recommended in the field of artificial insemination as well as surrogate counseling.  Kagome figured it was probably for the best, and that, if anyone could answer her questions, it would be this woman.  
  
She sighed.  Trying to explain this to InuYasha was nearly impossible.  Never one to listen for long, it hadn't truly surprised her that he had kept interrupting every time she did, and now she couldn't help but feel like she was being a little underhanded even though her conscience assured her that she really had tried to tell him, many times.  The last time . . . She made a face.  The last time she'd tried had been two days ago just after the sakura blossom celebration.  
  
It hadn't surprised her that he'd disappeared shortly after dropping off the last of the village children.  It had pleased her to see the children so happy, so unafraid of InuYasha.  Clamoring around his feet like he was the greatest being on earth, Kagome stood back and watched with a proud smile as InuYasha's embarrassed flush had deepened when the children asked him to play with them.  Grumbling and complaining, he had declined their offers.  Still Kagome hadn't missed the glint in his eyes, the sparkle that told her that he was pleased, even if he didn't show it.  
  
Tracking him down hadn't been too difficult.  The first place she looked for him was exactly the place she figured he'd be.  High in the branches of Goshinboku, she stared for a few moments, watching his slivery hair blow in the breeze, his back straight and arrogant, one foot tucked under him as the other dangled off the branch where he sat, arms folded together, eyes wide and bright.  ' _He really is something, isn't he?_ ' she mused, leaning against a nearby tree trunk.  It registered in her bemused mind that she had been taught that it was rude to stare.  Apparently that didn't apply because Kagome couldn't drag her eyes off the hanyou at all.  ' _If I had a camera_ ,' she thought idly, ' _would something as beautiful as he is even show up on film?_ '  
  
"I've been tempted to kill people for staring at me less time than you have," InuYasha remarked in an offhanded way.  Without so much as glancing down at her, he continued to stare off over the forest.  "What do you think I am?  A sideshow freak?"  
  
She blushed, forcing her eyes away, and sighed.  "You know I don't," she answered, unable to keep the hint of hurt out of her tone.  "I just wondered why you left the village so suddenly."  
  
"Keh!" he snorted.  "My job of being the day's entertainment was finished, wasn't it?  By the way, you still owe me, wench."  
  
"So you didn't enjoy yourself at all today?" she countered softly.  
  
"Packing human pups around all day isn't really my idea of fun," he scoffed though his cheeks reddened slightly.  
  
"Oh?" she challenged, pushing away from the tree trunk and slowly stepping closer to Goshinboku.  "Suppose you tell me, then, dog-boy, what your idea of fun is?"  
  
"Keh.  I don't have fucking time for fun."  
  
Kagome shook her head.  "You're impossible, you know that?"  
  
He hopped down from his branch and glowered down at her, hands on hips, scowl in place and somehow unable to hide the faint trace of amusement in the depths of his gaze.  "Well, at least I don't have to resort to batting my eyelashes and begging, 'please, InuYasha, just for me!'" he mocked in a high falsetto as he deliberately gave a demonstration of said eye-batting.  
  
Her eyebrows shot up, disappearing under the thick fringe of her bangs.  "I never said _or_ did that, and you know it!" she countered despite the flush that heated her skin.  
  
"Keh!  Close enough!  You think that you can do that and get away with it?  You can't."  
  
She sighed and shook her head.  "You're really pushing it, pal," she remarked, narrowing her gaze on him.  
  
He wrinkled his nose and rolled his eyes.  "The day I'm scared of a tiny, weak human like you is the day I die, wench."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Keh!"  
  
"Baka," she said with a snort of her own as she whirled around to stomp away.  He caught her and hopped back into the tree again.  "Put me down," she demanded.  
  
"Keh.  Shut up, will you?  I'm trying to think."  
  
"Don't hurt yourself."  
  
"Funny, bitch."  
  
"Glad you thought so, baka."  
  
She gasped as he snaked his arm around her, dragging her against his side as his other hand rose to cover her mouth.  "Finally," he gloated.  "Maybe now you'll be quiet."  
  
"Nnyha?"  
  
"Oi!  That's not quiet."  
  
Kagome tried to pull his hand away.  He didn't budge.  In retaliation, she leaned over and clamped her hands over his eyes.  
  
"You're going to throw off my balance," he warned.  To emphasize his point, he tottered back and forth just enough to make her stomach lurch.  Her hold on his face strengthened.  
  
"Eht oh," she demanded.  The sternness of her order was undermined when she giggled.  
  
"You first."  
  
"Aka."  
  
"Itch."  
  
"I'll ay 'it'."  
  
"You'll be sorry," he warned, meaning clear.  If she said 'it', she'd go down, too.  
  
She heaved a frustrated sigh.  He blinked quickly, his eyelashes tickling her palm.  Her hand twitched as she fought against letting go.  The blinking escalated.  
  
"At's na air," she accused as she jerked her hand away, itching her palm with her free hand.  
  
"Keh!  Will you shut up now?"  
  
Kagome didn't answer as she narrowed her eyes menacingly.  Looking far too pleased with his unfair advantage, InuYasha was positively gloating.  Kagome did the unthinkable: forcing her lips open, she stuck out her tongue and laughed as his expression changed from pleased gloating to shocked incredulity, and he jerked his hand away, wiping his palm on his thigh.  "Kami!  You _licked_ me?"  
  
"Did you think I'd promise to shut up?"  
  
Retreating to lean against the tree trunk, he snorted and kept wiping his hand in an exaggerated show of mock disgust.  "I was _hoping_.  Should have known you couldn't."  
  
"So what were you up here thinking about?" she asked after her laughter dissipated.  
  
"If it concerned you, I'd tell you," he remarked.  
  
"Is it important?"  
  
"Keh.  You think I'd waste my time thinking about something that wasn't?"  
  
She shrugged.  "I'd tell you if I was thinking about something important . . . like what I'm considering doing for Sango and Miroku."  Stealing a sidelong glance at him, Kagome sighed.  His expression was preoccupied at best, and she had to wonder if he was even hearing her, at all.  "InuYasha . . . I want to tell you about this."  
  
His gaze shifted to meet hers.  "Does it involve me carrying around the villagers' pups again?"  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"Does it involve me at all?"  
  
She shrugged again.  "Not really, but—"  
  
He made a face.  "Then just do it, will you?  Stop dragging your heels if you're going to do something.  What does it matter what I think?  Ain't that what you've told me before?  That it don't matter what anyone else thinks if you think it's right?"  
  
"Sure, but this is different."  
  
He shook his head.   "Nothing's different.  Either it's right or it ain't.  There's never a middle ground."  
  
' _Never a middle ground_ . . .' Kagome thought with a sigh as the intrusion of reality shook her out of her memory.  Was he right?  Were there no such things as the shades of gray that existed in her mind between the sides of the decision she was trying to make?  
  
The door opened to admit a short woman in a white lab coat.  Her long hair was twisted up into a severe knot at the nape of her neck, and she pushed her glasses up her nose as she lifted her friendly brown eyes off the file she carried to smile at both Kagome and her mother.  "Hello.  I'm Dr. Hisaka."  
  
Mrs. Higurashi rose to her feet to shake the doctor's hand.  "I'm so glad you could see us. This is my daughter, Kagome.  She had some questions about becoming a surrogate mother."  Kagome stood and shook the doctor's hand, too, before sitting back down with her notebook clutched to her chest.  
  
The doctor sat down in the empty chair by the lab table and opened the file.  "All right . . . let's see . . ." Studying the file, Dr. Hisaka frowned as she leafed through the papers.  "You're not yet nineteen, Kagome?  Does that mean you're still in school?  
  
Kagome nodded, swallowing hard.  "Yes . . . I'll be done in a few weeks, though.  Does that matter?"  
  
"We'll get to that," Dr. Hisaka assured her with a gentle smile as she looked up from the file and openly assessed Kagome with her friendly gaze.  "Suppose you tell me why you're interested in becoming a surrogate."  
  
"I've got a friend . . . she's had seven miscarriages in the last few years, and . . . I wanted to maybe offer to do this for her and her husband."  
  
"But your friend has been to a specialist, hasn't she?"  
  
Mrs. Higurashi intercepted Kagome's nervous glance and leaned forward to look at the doctor.  "There are special circumstances," she explained.  
  
"I see . . . Well, standard procedure does require that, even if we did make an exception for you age-wise, Kagome, that you'd still be required to undergo quite extensive psychological testing, just to make sure that you do appreciate the entire process, and that you are capable of understanding what it means, both to you as well as to your significant other . . . I'll assume, given your age, that you are not married."  
  
Kagome shook her head.  "Uh, no . . ."  
  
Dr. Hisaka nodded slowly and glanced back at Kagome's medical file.  "Is this correct?  It says that you're not sexually active as yet."  
  
She felt the burning flush before she could stop it and forced herself to nod.  "That's right."  
  
"I see . . . that does present a problem."  
  
"How so?"  
  
Dr. Hisaka arched her eyebrows for a moment and sighed as she leaned back in her chair.  "There's a whole realm of psychological impact that this could have on you.  You'd be, in effect, losing your virginity via fully artificial means.  Can you appreciate what I'm saying?  If your hymen is still intact, it would have to be surgically removed, which isn't difficult, but can be fairly traumatic to the patient.  It would have to be done before any sort of artificial insemination could be attempted.  There have been cases where women were able to conceive without having the hymen removed, but those cases are rare.  I must say, I've never been approached by an inexperienced young woman like you who wanted to do this."  
  
Kagome jerked her head in acknowledgement and managed a weak smile.  "I never thought I'd be asking about it," she confessed.  
  
The doctor stared at her thoughtfully, a slight frown drawing her eyebrows together.  "Forgive me for asking, Kagome, Mrs. Higurashi . . . This isn't about the surrogate fee is it?"  
  
Struggling not to be offended by Dr. Hisaka's frank question, Kagome fought down another surge of heat that flooded her face in indignant color.  "No.  Anyway, my friend wouldn't be able to pay me for this, and I wouldn't take someone's money for a baby."  
  
"I understand.  Was there anything in particular that you wanted to know?"  
  
Drawing a deep breath, Kagome stared at her notebook.  "How, exactly, is it done?"  
  
"We would have you start at home with a cycle predictor kit for a few months, so we could see how regular your ovulation is.  When you're ready then we'd have you come in around your projected ovulation time so we can test you for peak implantation times.  There are two kinds of surrogates.  The first kind we term gestational, which means you simply carry the natural parents' fetus to term.  The other is the traditional surrogate, where your egg and the donor sperm are combined.  In that case, we'd simply perform a procedure called intrauterine insemination, which simply means we inject washed sperm into your uterus directly and let nature take its course.  After two weeks, you should be able to take a regular pregnancy test to see if it worked."  
  
"All right," Kagome murmured as she glanced at her mother.  
  
Mrs. Higurashi cleared her throat.  "Other than the means, the rest of the pregnancy should be like any other?  The same risks involved?"  
  
Dr. Hisaka nodded.  "Yes, but I'll be honest, if I may?  Kagome, because of your age and your status, I doubt we can allow you to do this.  Perhaps in a few years, if you're still interested we could consider you, but going on what information we have here . . . I'm sorry."  
  
Kagome nodded and stood, quickly shaking the doctor's hand before she stumbled into the hallway to wait for her mother.  
  
The ride home on the bus was quiet and somber.  Kagome didn't speak as they walked from the bus stop and up the shrine steps.  Closing out the sounds of the city behind the sanctuary of the shrine doors, Kagome breathed a sigh of relief as she kicked off her shoes and shot her mother a wan smile.  "I guess there really isn't anything I can do, is there?"  
  
Mrs. Higurashi's gentle smile was reassuring to Kagome.  "Does that mean you've given up?"  
  
Kagome shook her head.  "What other choice do I have?  Dr. Hisaka said that I was too young, and I'm not about to go be with someone just to make this easier."  
  
Her mother chuckled as Kagome's cheeks pinked.  "I would hope that wouldn't be your reason for doing that.  In any case, I've never known my daughter to give up just because the simplest route was closed.  That's one of the beautiful things about you, Kagome.  You fight for the things you believe in."  
  
"Thanks, Mama."  
  
"Why don't you go lie down awhile?  I'll wake you when it's time to go."  
  
Kagome nodded as she climbed the stairs to her room.  Since she had to miss school today anyway, her mother had made an appointment for Kagome to see her regular doctor, anyway, since it was time for her physical and annual pelvic examination, anyway.  Making a face as she closed her door behind her, Kagome padded across the floor and flopped down on her bed with a sigh.  She hated having those types of exams, but her mother always insisted.  
  
Rolling over onto her back, Kagome stared at the ceiling with a frown.  ' _Am I crazy to even consider this?  The doctor had been nice enough but still . . .  I must seem crazy to them, to want to have a baby for someone else_.'  
  
' _Your friends are your pack.  In a pack, you do whatever you have to so that everyone is taken care of, right?_ '  
  
Her thoughts became a jumble of memories, of tears and of laughter, of quiet talks about dreams and hopes . . . Sango had told her just before she married Miroku that her one true wish was to start a family, to fill the rest of her life with the joy and laughter that came with rebuilding the family she'd lost before.  The image of Sango's haunted gaze, of the sorrow in her eyes as she held Hideaki's body in her arms . . . the stubborn tears that refused to fall as she stared at the burning funeral bier . . . The memory of Miroku as he struggled not to show his emotions . . . How hard was it, for him to have to be the strong one, the silent one, the one who had to bury his loss so that he could offer Sango the support she so desperately needed?  
  
He had said to Kagome once, after he and Sango had lost the fourth child, that he was suffering the lingering punishment for wishing so often that he would outlive his kazaana.  The mind could do horrible things to a person.  Why was it easier to believe all the terrible things than it was to dare to hope for the good?  
  
Still the nagging voice that whispered to her, the smallest lingering doubt in her mind spoke the last truth, the last obstacle in her desire to do this.  ' _But to give up your own child, Kagome . . . Could you do it?  Even for them?_ '  
  
She sighed, draping her forearm over her eyes as she tried in vain to ignore that whisper of reason.  She still couldn't answer that question.  When she could, she'd have her answer.  
  


:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

InuYash a heaved a sigh as he stared into the empty well.  Arms folded atop the ledge with chin in hands, he stared into the blackness below with a scowl, willing it to light up, open, and to see Kagome reemerge on this side of it.  Ears smashed down against his skull, he tried to push aside the feeling of emptiness that always came with her forced absences.  ' _Don't she know she belongs here?_ ' he thought as he wrinkled his nose.  ' _Stupid Kagome . . . she ain't allowed to go back unless she asks me, which she didn't or I'd have told her that she couldn't go.  Hell, she was just there for days_ . . .'  
  
"InuYasha?  Sango wanted me to ask where Kagome is . . ."  
  
Shifting his eyes to the side to glance at the monkey youkai, InuYasha snorted.  "Keh.  She ain't here."  
  
Ichisaru hopped up on the side of the well and peeked over the side.  "Shippou says she always goes home after you make her mad.  Did you make her mad?"  
  
"Fuck!  No!  I didn't do a damn thing, brat, so go away."  
  
Ichisaru ran along the ledge out of reach of the volatile hanyou.  "Miroku says you have a horrible temper . . ."  
  
"Yeah?  So?  What of it?"  
  
Sitting down with his feet dangling into the well opposite InuYasha, Ichisaru shrugged.  "Nothing . . . just that Shippou says Kagome's a saint to put up with your moods."  
  
"Oh, does he?" InuYasha asked as he cracked his knuckles.  
  
"Is Kagome going to be your mate?"  
  
The knuckle cracking stopped instantly as InuYasha's face reddened.  "Wh-What?  No!"  
  
Ichisaru frowned.  "You don't like her?"  
  
"Keh!  Didn't say that," he grumbled as his face darkened a shade.  
  
"She's pretty . . . and she smells nice."  
  
"Drop it, brat, or—"  
  
"Okay, okay!" Ichisaru hurried to say when InuYasha started to rise.  Breathing a sigh of relief when the hanyou sank back down, the monkey youkai turned his head to stare around the clearing.  "InuYasha?"  
  
InuYasha growled slightly and glowered at the talkative youkai.  "What?"  
  
Ichisaru shifted uncomfortably as he stared at his hands.  "Are you sure Master won't come after me again?"  
  
"If he does, I'll sharpen my claws on him," InuYasha replied.  
  
Kagome had told him some of the stories that Shippou had told her about Ichisaru's past.  Apparently after his mother died, the youkai had been taken in by the human, and the human had been kind, at least in the beginning.  After the first month or so, he'd started forcing the youkai child to do his dirty work, stealing, begging, basically using Ichisaru to do whatever it was he could do to make the human's life easier, and if Ichisaru didn't want to do it or if he complained, the human beat on him.  Youkai were strong, sure, but Ichisaru . . . InuYasha snorted.  Ichisaru was smaller than Shippou was when they'd first picked him up.  Monkey youkai weren't known for their physical strength anyway, and that was enough to infuriate InuYasha on the youth's behalf.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah," InuYasha agreed.  "Don't worry, all right?"  
  
Ichisaru grinned, turning his little head from side to side as his cheeks flushed.  "All right," he agreed.  
  
InuYasha's chin hit the edge of the well as the monkey leaped and landed on his head.  "Ow!  What the hell!  Get off my head!" he snarled as he swiped at the monkey.  
  
Ichisaru giggled and started pushing aside strands of InuYasha's hair.   InuYasha rolled his eyes but gave up trying to catch the youkai.  The monkey tugged on his ears as he continued his examination.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" InuYasha finally asked as the monkey kept prodding and exploring.  
  
"Why are you so clean?" Ichisaru complained as his tail drooped over InuYasha's face.  InuYasha reached up and flicked the dangling appendage.  Ichisaru screeched and dug his fingers into InuYasha's hair.   "Not one—wait!"  
  
" _InuYasha-sama!_ "  
  
Straightening up, InuYasha grabbed the monkey off his head and held him by the scruff of his neck only to see the youkai had Myouga held fast in his nimble fingers.  "Oi!  Don't eat him!" InuYasha hollered.  
  
Ichisaru frowned but dropped the flea onto the ledge as InuYasha set the child aside.  Ichisaru, mumbling about 'just trying to help,' scampered off toward the forest trail.  
  
"Find anything?"  
  
Myouga straightened his shirt and hopped onto InuYasha's shoulder.  "Yes, yes, I found the cave."  
  
"Good . . . you're not completely useless then, are you?"  
  
"It's seven days due south of here near the sea by the Misty Forest," Myouga answered as he edged closer to InuYasha's neck.  
  
"Suck me, and I feed you to the monkey," InuYasha assured him.  
  
Myouga sighed.  "After all I do for you," he complained.  "Surely just one meal wouldn't hurt you."  
  
"Go suck the kitsune if you're so hungry," InuYasha scoffed.  "Did you find out anything else?"  
  
"There's a barrier over the cave's entrance," Myouga supplied.  "I couldn't get inside."  
  
InuYasha snorted.  "You mean you didn't even try."  
  
"Of course I tried!" Myouga complained.  "What do you think I am?  A coward?"  
  
"You said it, not me."  
  
"InuYasha-sama!  I'm hurt!"  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
Myouga sighed.  "There've been rumors of mysterious deaths . . . men left without souls . . ."  
  
InuYasha nodded as he stood up.  Men without souls . . . mysterious deaths . . . ' _Kagome_ . . .'  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"To find this cave.  Wanna come?"  
  
"Oh, look at the time!  I promised a friend I'd meet him . . . Bye!"  
  
InuYasha shook his head as the flea youkai sprang off the side of the well and disappeared.  
  
' _I'll go find this cave_ ,' he thought with a scowl, ' _but first_ . . .'  
  
Hopping up on the side of the well, InuYasha dropped inside.  
  
' _Keh!  It's not like I want to see Kagome . . . I just need to let her know I'll be gone awhile_ ,' he thought as he was engulfed in the soothing light of the time slip.  Two weeks to get there and back, and if there had been other deaths like the sage's around there . . . InuYasha sighed.  He could be gone for a month . . .  
  
A month.  He made a face.  He hated the idea of leaving her alone that long.  ' _She'll be safe.  She's smart . . . and she did mention that she's got all those damn exams of hers coming up_ . . .'  Still, the idea of leaving her alone for so long was one he didn't like at all.  
  
He could smell Kagome the moment his feet hit the ground on her side of the well.  She was close.  Deliberately ignoring the sudden surge of anticipation, he leapt out of the hole and lifted his head to look around.  Climbing the stairs out of the well-house, InuYasha located Kagome right away.  Sitting under Goshinboku with a few books beside her and one open in her lap, she stiffened suddenly and lifted her chin as she turned her head.  She'd known he was there.  
  
Her smile was immediate, genuine, and the way her head tilted to the side was endearing.   Hard pressed not to return the gesture, InuYasha slowly walked toward her, hunkered down beside her.  "I came to tell you I'm leaving for awhile."  
  
Her smile faltered but didn't disappear.  "I see . . . How long will you be gone?  
  
He shrugged.  "Dunno . . . a few weeks . . . a month . . ."  
  
She nodded slowly.  "And you won't tell me why, will you?"  
  
"I have to check into a few things.  Anyway, I figured you have those exams of yours, right?  So you'd be here most of the time . . ."  
  
Again she nodded.  "Probably."  
  
He flinched when he saw the moment of doubt in her gaze as she stared everywhere but at him.  He could almost hear her question, the one she stubbornly refused to ask him out loud: ' _InuYasha . . . are you going after Kikyou again?_ '  
  
"I should go," he said as he quickly shot to his feet.  
  
"InuYasha . . ." He stopped and stared at her, her eyes locking with his as she managed a small smile for him.  "Will you stay for dinner?  I'm sure Mama won't mind."  
  
Against his better judgment, he nodded.  "All right," he agreed, "as long as she ain't making curry."  
  


:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

InuYash a growled in complete frustration as he wondered how severely Kagome would osuwari him if he mangled the bit of plastic in his hands.  "I thought you said this was supposed to be fun," he muttered.  
  
Kagome giggled as she leaned toward him to nudge him with her elbow.  "Stop pausing and let me kick your butt."  
  
"Keh!  In what world, wench?" he shot back.  
  
She giggled as she made her video game character toss his over her shoulder and into a wall.  "In this one, dog-boy."  
  
"This don't count!" he remarked with a wince as he smashed the game control buttons.  Her weak girl character somehow managed to heft his character over her head and smash him down on the ground.  "Damn it."  
  
"I win!" Kagome announced as his character was declared knocked out.  She dropped her controller and rose on her knees, fists high in the air as she celebrated her victory.  
  
InuYasha dropped his controller and scooted away from the television.  "Keh!"  
  
"Don't be a spoiled sport, InuYasha," she told him as he pouted.  "How about a rematch?"  
  
InuYasha snorted.  "I'll pass."  
  
"I'll let you win," she offered, a wicked glint in her eyes.    
  
He _knew_ she was deliberately goading him.  It didn't do any good.  "Let me?" he echoed incredulously.  " _Let_ me?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll let you since you can't seem to do it on your own."  
  
"Oi!  You'll pay for that, wench," he warned as he scooted back and swiped up his abandoned controller.  
  
"In what world, dog-boy?" she shot back.  
  
"You can't use my words against me," he remarked.  
  
Kagome giggled.  
  
"Oh, good, you're between games, I see."  Both heads turned to stare at Mrs. Higurashi.  She handed each of them bowls of ice cream.  "I thought you could use a snack."  
  
"Thanks, Mama," Kagome said as she dug into hers.  
  
"Thank you," InuYasha mumbled as he inspected the ice cream before he lifted his spoon.  "Why's it blue?" he asked Kagome as he sniffed the cold treat.  
  
"It's blueberry."  
  
Sticking out his tongue dubiously, InuYasha considered the taste of the stuff.  ' _Not bad_ ,' he allowed grudgingly as he took a bite.  He'd had ice cream before, just not this kind.  
  
He finished off his long before Kagome did.  She giggled as she offered him a bite of hers.  He reached for the spoon.  She pulled it back.  "No way.  You'll never give it back," she remarked as she offered him the bite again.  He made a face but let her feed him.  "So where are you going, anyway?" she asked as she carefully scooped up a small bite for herself.  
  
"Told you.  I need to check something out.  That's all."  
  
"And you really can't tell me?"  
  
He shrugged.  "It's not that important."  
  
"If that were true, you'd tell me what it was," she said, handing him the rest of her ice cream.    
  
"You're too nosey for your own good," he said with a snort he finished it off.  
  
"And you're avoiding the question," she said as she stood to take the bowls to the kitchen.    
  
He waited until she was gone before he turned off the video game, hoping that she'd forget about it by the time she came back.   That stupid plastic beast was enough to make him gnash his teeth in frustration.  The last thing he wanted to do was play that thing again.  
  
When she came back to the living room and knelt beside him, her demeanor had changed.  Serious and thoughtful, Kagome sighed as she twisted her fingers together in her lap.  Teeth gnawing on her bottom lip, the sudden idea of what it would be like to kiss those lips passed through InuYasha's head and wouldn't leave him alone.  
  
"I was researching possible reasons that Sango keeps miscarrying," she said as she stared at her hands.  "There's really nothing to explain it without her being able to see a doctor, and since she can't get through the well . . ."  
  
Still preoccupied with staring at her mouth, InuYasha barely registered exactly what she had said.  "But you'll do what you can to help."  
  
"Well, that's the thing  . . . there _is_ something I can do," she admitted as her cheeks pinked in a pretty blush.  
  
Raising his hand to touch her face, he jerked back when Souta breezed into the living room. "InuYasha-no-nii-chan!  Are you staying tonight?"  
  
Kagome sighed.  At least she hadn't appeared to have noticed his slip.  
  
InuYasha growled, unsure if he was more irritated that they'd been interrupted or that he nearly given in to his urges.  He had a feeling that it was the first of those reasons, and that was enough to make him cringe inwardly.   "Nah, I can't."  He as he stood up and headed for the door.  Something about the sadness in her gaze, the wistfulness in her expression . . . He had to get out of there before he did something really stupid, like kiss her.  "I'll see you when I get back."  
  
Kagome scrambled to her feet, too, chasing him out of the house and toward the well-house.  "InuYasha, wait—"  
  
"Keh.  I gotta get going," he remarked as he strode toward the well.  He hated telling her goodbye.  It always made him feel like he was abandoning her, and it never helped that she always seemed so sad about it.  At the moment, though, he desperately needed to put some space between the two of them because she was entirely too hard to ignore.  
  
Kagome ran to catch up with him, laying a hand on his arm to stop him.  The contact shot through him with a vengeance that tore at his soul.  "Please, just listen!  I—"  
  
"I'll be back," he promised as he gently brushed her hand off and squatted on the side of the well.  Just for a moment, he gave in to her, reaching for her, smoothing back her hair off her face.  "I'll try to hurry.  Be safe, Kagome."  
  
She looked like she was going to cry as she leaned against his hand.  InuYasha winced and pulled his hand away before it got even more difficult to leave her.  "InuYasha—"  
  
Before he could give in to the battling emotions, before he could be swayed by her tears, InuYasha pushed himself off the side of the well and dropped into the opening time slip.  Kagome's voice came to him as he slipped into the passage between the two times.  "I could offer to carry . . ." her voice faded out as the time slip closed behind him.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  I hate video games . . .


	10. Lingering Memorial

~~ ** _Chapter 10_** ~~  
~ ** _Lingering Memorial_** ~  


Kagome gathered her books and shoved them into her backpack without paying attention to the murmur of her fellow classmates as they packed up their belongings and filed out of the room.  
  
As if she were in a daze, she let the surge of students carry her along as they headed for the doors.  
  
The last week had been oddly hazy to her, vague and foggy like a lingering dream; a whole week without InuYasha.  So far, his absence made her feel empty, incomplete, like he had taken a part of her when he'd gone, and maybe he had.  Spending nights lying awake in her bed as she struggled to make a decision was the most difficult thing she'd ever done, especially after she followed InuYasha through the well only to see him disappear into the forest.  It puzzled her, why he had run off, to start with.  She wasn't sure if he had heard her or not, when she had hollered into the well.  
  
A wan smile surfaced on her face as she stumbled along the sidewalk, heading home.  At least one of the obstacles Dr. Hisaka had mentioned had been removed.  At her regular doctor visit, she'd found out that the hymen that Dr. Hisaka had said would present a problem in getting pregnant had somehow been torn.  Kagome grimaced.  After her doctor had discovered this in her pelvic exam, she had gone on to lecture Kagome about safe sex and means of birth control—yet another thing she'd rather forget than think about.  
  
She could only imagine that it had been ripped when she had used tampons, which wasn't a frequent occurrence until lately, or maybe it had happened when InuYasha carried her around on his back.  She'd heard that it happened sometimes to girls who rode horses, and while InuYasha wasn't a horse, there were times when the piggy-back rides got bumpy. . . She blushed but couldn't help her ironic smile.  
  
"Kagome-chan!  Wait up!"  
  
Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, Kagome turned and waited for her friends to catch up.  
  
"Are you going straight home?" Eri asked.  
  
"Yeah, I've got to finish a few papers," Kagome remarked as she forced a smile.  ' _It's funny . . . they don't notice anything different about me . . . They have no idea what I'm trying to decide_ . . .'  
  
"Has Houjou-kun called you, Kagome-chan?" Yuka spoke up.  "I saw him a few days ago, and he said he was going to."  
  
Kagome made a face.  "Nope, and I told you, I'm not going to see him again."  
  
"But he's so nice, and so good-looking!" Eri insisted.  "At least he has a normal name, unlike _some_ guys you spend time mooning over."  
  
Kagome felt her face heat in a blush.  "It's just a name," she grumbled as a sudden, sharp pang hit her.  ' _I miss him_ . . .'  
  
"Did you guys fill out your applications for the university?" Ayumi broke in.  
  
Eri and Yuka groaned.  Kagome bit her bottom lip.  "How can you talk about the university when we're still cramming for finals?" Yuka complained.  
  
"Are you going to apply, Kagome-chan?" Ayumi asked.  
  
Kagome pretended not to have heard the question as she quickened her step.  "See you tomorrow!" she called over her shoulder as she gave them a jaunty wave just before she hurried away.  
  
The university . . .  
  
She wanted to stop thinking.  Her head throbbed with the myriad of thoughts that kept spinning around her mind.  Too many all at once and no answers to any of them . . . they were enough to make her gasp as she broke into a sprint down the street, heading toward the shrine.  ' _Trying to run away from them?_ ' she wondered.  She was so tired of thinking and wondering and worrying . . .  
  
Darting up the steps to the shrine, Kagome stopped and stared at the package in front of the door.  ' _Best Blooms_ ,' she read the return address as she picked up the box.  ' _Sango's flowers_ . . .'  
  
Wrinkling her nose as she opened the front door, Kagome shrugged.  ' _I've got some time.  I'll take them to her_.'  
  
"Mama?" she called as she stepped inside.  Poking her head into the kitchen, she located her mother as Mrs. Higurashi chopped vegetables for dinner.  "Sango's flowers came today.  I thought I'd take them to her, if that's all right?"  
  
Mrs. Higurashi smiled.  "Go on, dear!  I hope she likes them."  
  
Kagome grinned and hurried out of the kitchen, pausing long enough to set down her bag at the base of the stairs before she headed for the back door.  
  


:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

"She called him 'InuYasha'."  
  
Lavender eyes flicked coolly over the lumbering human, regarding him in silent speculation as Aki massaged her shoulders through the thin silk kimono.  "This I already knew.  Tell me, did you find his weakness?"  
  
Oro shrugged.  "Ain't it obvious?  The girl with the jewel.  Quick to rescue her, he was."  
  
A condescending tolerance strained the corners of her lips as she sighed dramatically.  "That means nothing.  If she were in danger and if she bears the Shikon no Tama then of course he would protect her."  
  
"He weren't in any hurry to put her down after he saved her.  Stared at her for the longest time.  He didn't care that I took off, either."  Oro grinned nastily.  "She's his weakness, mark me."  
  
Hisadaicho finally smiled.  "Leave us, Aki . . ." she instructed the servant.   He did as commanded.  She waited until he was gone before she spoke again.  "You've done well, Oro . . . I am impressed."  
  
"And my payment?" he rumbled, eyes raking over her as he remembered her promise.  
  
"Yes, of course," she agreed as she slowly rose off her cushion.  "Payment.  What was it I promised you?"  
  
Shaking his greasy hair out of his eyes, he stepped closer to her as cold desire ignited behind his gaze.  "You remember."  
  
Hisadaicho's smile widened.  "Very well then," she purred as she slowly reached a hand into her kimono.  "I'm a woman of my word."  
  
Oro's grin was wicked, cruel.  "Good . . ."  Slowly bringing her hand up before her face, she opened her fist.  Oro narrowed his gaze as he stared at the iridescent powder in the palm of her hand.  "What's that?"  
  
"This," she informed him with a sweet smile, "is your payment."  He stepped closer, and she blew the dust off her hand, into his face.  
  
"What the—?" he growled as he rubbed at his watering eyes.  "What the hell did you do to me?"  
  
Hisadaicho laughed.  "Now be gone before I decide to kill you, and don't return . . . if you know what's good for you."  
  
Anger lent a deeper red to his already ruddy flesh as he stalked forward.  He stopped as his frown slowly dissipated.  "It's you," he murmured, his tone full of wonder, and of fear.  "You . . ." Gaze narrowing in suspicion then widening in shock as he stared at her, he nodded once then turned to leave.  
  
Hisadaicho's smile returned as she watched the retreating human.  "So . . . it works . . . sweet dreams, Oro . . ."  
  
"Hisadaicho-sama."  
  
Shifting her gaze to regard Iwazawa, she beckoned him forward with a flick of her wrist.  "So you've returned."  
  
Iwazawa bowed as he came closer.  "The one they call Sesshoumaru . . . He is powerful.  They say that he is one of the most powerful youkai."  
  
"Power comes with a price," she mused.  "Go on."  
  
He nodded once and bowed again.  "He keeps an imp.  He's useless.  He also keeps a human: a girl-child, and they say he indulges her even if no one knows why he would do such a thing."  
  
"A little human pet, you mean?  How noble . . ."  
  
Hisadaicho slowly turned, paced the floor as she deliberated.  ' _A child . . . the great youkai would deign to keep a child?  How interesting_ . . .'  
  
"Your orders?" Iwazawa asked as he rose to his feet.  
  
' _This could be used . . . this child will bring him_ ,' Hisadaicho thought with a growing smile.  "Fetch the girl.  I have plans for her."  
  
Iwazawa bowed again.  "As you wish, Hisadaicho-sama."  
  
Throwing open the window as she stared at the gathering darkness of nightfall on the land, her smile widened, a lazy light filtering into her gaze as she considered her plan.  It was coming together nicely, and the end result . . .  
  
The dormant violet orb resting in the cradle of the clay urn called to her.  Striding to the table, lovingly caressing the sphere, she could feel the stirrings of a long- quiescent supremacy, and soon her vision would clear . . .  ' _Show me, Oro . . . show me what is in your heart . . . if you still possess a heart_ . . .'  
  
Whispering movement as Aki came to her, knelt before her.  ' _This child would prove the mighty Sesshoumaru's undoing.  For one so powerful to keep such an indulgence_ . . .' she mused as Aki shoved aside the kimono.  Hisadaicho shuddered as Aki's tongue flicked against her.  ' _Sesshoumaru will be the first to fall . . . and then_ . . .'  
  


:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

InuYash a stared at the brooding cave with obvious apprehension.  Grasping Tetsusaiga in his hands, he couldn't help but feel an ominous aura as he cautiously approached the barrier over the opening.  What sordid thing was brought to life here?  Why did he feel like it was somehow familiar?  
  
Eyes widening as understanding dawned on him, InuYasha stepped back and shook his head.  ' _It's her . . . I felt her presence in the old sage's hut . . . but what the hell is she?_ '  
  
Raising Tetsusaiga while the blade took on a red sheen, InuYasha tightened his grip on the sword and brought it over his head.  Smashing it into the barrier, he closed his eyes for a moment as the light flashed, the fissure between Tetsusaiga and the barrier colliding in a flash of brilliant light.  
  
The barrier gave way to the sword and flickered out.  InuYasha slowly stepped into the cavernous darkness.  The stench of death caught in his nose, filled his brain with acrid images, inane whispers in the dark.  Taking a moment to shake the cobwebs out of his mind, he stepped forward into the dank cavern, into the veil of stagnant jyaki.    
  
The passage was long and narrow, claustrophobic.  If he had brought her, Kagome would be babbling by now, about the confined space, about the darkness.  She always did that when she was nervous, and if he'd learned nothing else about her in the past four years, it was that Kagome could babble with the best of them . . .  
  
And yet it was the simple thought of her, of her face, that brought a smile to his lips as he moved forward in the dark even as the dull ache of missing her squeezed at his heart.  She whispered in his mind, her voice as dim as the cave.  ' _Hurry back, InuYasha . . . Do you miss me?_ '  
  
He swallowed hard, lifting his sleeve to cover his nose against the looming stench of decaying flesh as he descended further into the abyss.  Did he miss her?  InuYasha sighed.  Yes, he missed her.  He missed her more than he ever wanted to admit.  
  
The tunnel opened up, and he stepped into the larger chamber.  Thankful for the part of him that was youkai, InuYasha stared around in horrified fascination at the tableaux laid out before him.  
  
Ghastly stalactites hung from the ceiling like a hundred jagged teeth as moisture dripped from every orifice to pool on the ground in an unholy sludge.  Rock formations littered the cave, half broken and hollowed out.  With a frown, he stepped closer to inspect one.  Thick slime coated the inside of the hole, the scent of something foul lingering, hanging over him, thick and ugly.  ' _Something was housed in that—in all of these_ ,' InuYasha realized as he gaped at the ruins.  Malignant and foul . . . something already dead?  ' _These things . . . are like cocoons?  Made of rock instead of silk_ . . .'  
  
Stepping away from the ruins, InuYasha looked around again.  Strange how the cocoons stopped in an arc, and in the darkest corner . . .  
  
Brushing aside the sense of foreboding, InuYasha picked his way across the ground, avoiding the sharper bits of rocks that had been scattered when the cocoons had hatched open.  The cocoon he found there was smaller than the others, thicker, as though whatever had been inside had to be better protected than the others.  Leaning in closer to examine the shell, he reached out with his free hand, touched the interior.  
  
Rubbing the powdery residue between his fingers, InuYasha frowned and stepped back.  The scent in this corner, around this cocoon . . . he knew it.  He'd smelled her before, at he old sage's hut.  "She was born here . . ."  
  
A few more minutes of futile search yielded him nothing.  InuYasha turned to leave.  The small pedestal drew his attention.  He hadn't noticed it before.  Standing next to the largest pool of water, InuYasha stepped over to it, laid his hand on it.  The rock was warm under his fingers; an aura of complete evil, utter malevolence seemed to surround him, radiating from that structure.  Without thinking, he swung Tetsusaiga, shattering the stone pedestal, dispelling the aura.  
  
A sort of dusky light filtered into the cave.  As though the rock had held the space suspended in darkness, InuYasha smiled just a little as he sheathed his sword and headed for the passage, and toward the freedom of the open air.  
  
Leaning back against the gaping hole of the now-dead cave, InuYasha dragged in a few lungfuls of clean air.  He lifted his fingers, frowning at the iridescent powder that clung to him.  It reminded him of the odd body powders that Kagome sometimes used.  He wrinkled his nose.  Those always made him sneeze.  With a decisive snort, InuYasha pushed away from the rocks and sprinted away toward the sound of water.  Whatever powder it was, he'd be damned if he'd end up sneezing because of it . . .  
  
Wrinkling his nose as InuYasha dug a handful of sand out of the water, he rubbed the dirt over his hands to scrub away the powder.  Shaking off his hands, he sank back on his haunches and tried to make sense of the cave.  ' _Whoever she is, she was born in there . . . but what does she want?_ '  
  
Thoughts interrupted by a sudden sneeze, InuYasha's expression registered his disgust, and he leaned forward to cup his hands under the water to rinse his face.  After ten handfuls of water, InuYasha was satisfied that the lingering traces of the cave's morbid presence were gone, and he rubbed his face with his haori sleeve to dry himself off.  
  
The sun was close to setting, and he sighed.  He needed to find a place to spend the night before dusk came.   ' _I hate being human_ ,' he thought with a derisive snort.   The new moon was coming, and InuYasha knew better than to be caught out during that . . .  
  


:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

Kagome peeked up from her math notes to watch as Sango carefully dug into the earth with the small hand spade that Kagome had brought her long ago.  Carefully placing a bulb into the earth and covering it over, Sango carried out her task with all the love and attention that Kagome imagined she'd have showed her children, if they had lived.  A bittersweet smile touched the exterminator's lips even as a telling brightness developed in her deep brown eyes.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want me to help?" Kagome asked quietly as a voice whispered in her mind, ' _How much bigger will this garden grow?  How many more babies will she lose before she just gives up, before her heart forgets to remind her that she is alive?_ '  
  
Sango peeked over her shoulder and smiled.  "No, thanks . . . this is something I want to do on my own."  
  
Kagome nodded and stifled a sigh as she stared up into the empty branches of Goshinboku.  A sudden and vicious pang hit her, the distance between herself and InuYasha seemed so overwhelming.  ' _You could do it, Kagome . . . if you offered, what would Sango say?_ '  
  
Forcing her attention back to the book in her lap, Kagome deliberately tried not to think about the question that was always so close to the surface in her mind.  
  
"How much longer will InuYasha be gone?"  
  
Kagome closed the book and stuck it back into her bag as she reached forward to grab the paper that Sango had used to carefully plan out the placement of each flower bulb three days ago.  "He said it could take a month," she answered, unable to keep the slight note of longing out of her tone, "and he's only been gone ten days."  
  
Sango planted another bulb and sat back, turning to stare at her friend.  "Kagome-chan . . . why don't you tell him?"  
  
"There's nothing to tell," she lied, knowing very well exactly what Sango was talking about and stubbornly trying to pretend that she didn't.  
  
"You know that isn't true," Sango chided as she arranged the cardboard pictures of the flowers she'd just planted.  
  
Kagome sighed.  When she brought the bulbs to Sango three days ago, both Sango and Miroku had tried to tell her the same thing, that she should tell InuYasha how she felt, and while a part of her agreed with them, the rest of her was absolutely terrified of what he'd say, what he'd do . . . that he'd say something rude or arrogant, and the hurt that would cause . . . it was enough to keep her from thinking that it would ever be a good idea, at all . . .  
  
"It's not that simple," she said, hating how lame her voice sounded to her own ears.  "It never is, with him . . . and then, there's Kikyou . . ."  
  
"But he doesn't love Kikyou, at least, not like that," Sango argued gently.  
  
Kagome reached for the flower cards.   Sango handed them to her.  "I know everyone says that, but . . . You can't just forget about someone you loved once, especially your first love, right?"  
  
Sango sighed.  "Do you think Houshi-sama and I would want to see you hurt?  If we didn't think that InuYasha truly does love you, do you think we'd encourage you to tell him how you feel?"  
  
Kagome shook her head as she stared at the pictures of the vibrant lilies.  "Maybe, after finals.  I just can't do it yet."  Forcing a smile, she drew a deep breath and wrapped her arms around her raised knees.  "Enough about me.  How are you holding up?"  
  
"Better.  Don't worry about me.  I'll be fine."  A hint of fear, of cautious hope that was only hanging on by a thread crossed her face.  She shook her head.  
  
"Sango-chan . . ."  
  
"It's all right.  Houshi-sama says we can try again, when I'm ready . . . I'm not sure when that will be.  I want a baby of my own, but . . ."  
  
Kagome nodded slowly.  "I understand."  
  
Sango took her time planting the last of the bulbs and sat back again.  "Maybe I wasn't meant to have children.  I know he doesn't want to admit as much, but . . . I know he's thought it, too."  
  
Kagome didn't know what to say.  Staring at the flowers, the riot of colors and variants in each, they were all similar in the flower shape, in their very aesthetic.  Alone, each possessed their own beauty; together they would be stunning as a whole.  Was that how Sango had viewed each of her babies?  Kagome smiled sadly.  Yes, it was . . .  
  
With a sigh, Kagome got up, gathering her bag as she stretched.  "I've got to go back," she told Sango.  "I've got a few reviews tomorrow, and I've got to finish a few papers, too . . . will you be all right?"  
  
Sango nodded.  "Of course.  I was almost done here, too, and then he promised he'd offer a prayer of blessing over it . . ."  
  
Kagome gave her a quick hug before heading off toward the well.  
  
Pausing as she sat on the ledge with her legs dangling over the edge, Kagome sighed.  To be completely honest with herself, she knew the main reason she came back every afternoon was because, even though he was gone, she felt closer to InuYasha here than she did in her own time.  Glancing around before she dropped over the side, she wished once more that she'd spot the familiar crimson streak, the stroke of his reassuring youki . . . ' _Hurry back, InuYasha . . . Do you miss me?_ '  
  
She sighed and shook her head before pushing off the side and falling into the well.  
  
' _Why don't you tell him?_ '  
  
Kagome frowned as she felt the warmth of the time slip engulf her.  What would he say, if she told him how she felt?  What scared her more?  That he would scoff at her?  Or that he would feel the same way?  Did it matter what everyone else told her constantly, that he didn't love Kikyou the same way anymore?  InuYasha hadn't ever told her how _he_ felt about the resurrected miko, and Kagome was afraid to find out.  
  
And yet she felt so selfish, thinking about herself when Sango and Miroku were suffering so much.  They both tried to act like it was all water under the bridge.  In actuality, Kagome could sense the very real tension.  It was a living thing, so thick between the two, an underlying sense of the battle of two wills: Miroku's optimism, his belief that if they just tried once more, that it would all be fine, in the end warred with Sango's fear, her reluctance to lose yet another baby . . .  
  
Feet touching down on the ground as the light of the time slip faded, Kagome sighed as she climbed out of the well.  ' _If they could come through the well,_ ' she thought with a shake of her head, ' _then Sango could see a doctor here . . . then she could have her own baby_ . . .'  
  
With a wince, Kagome wondered just how selfish that sounded.  It was just that one lingering doubt, that last question that plagued her.  ' _It wouldn't really be my baby, though, would it?  My egg, yes . . . my body, sure . . . but I'd know all along that it wasn't really my baby_ _. . ._ _Sango and Miroku would be terrific parents.  He's always so calm and so good-natured, and he's been so good to Sango, and Sango . . . she'd love the baby_.'  
  
Kagome closed the well-house door behind herself before hopping down the stairs.  A sudden gust of wind rustled the branches of Goshinboku.  She stopped and stared at the ancient tree with a smile.  Wandering over to it, slowly running her fingers over the rough bark, she couldn't help but feel a little closer to InuYasha when she was near the tree.  It was the first place she'd seen him, after all.   On that day so long ago . . . had she realized then, how much he'd mean to her?  
  
Turning around and leaning back against the tree, she stared at the courtyard she knew so well.  As a child, she played here in the shade of the God Tree.  As a young girl, she'd sought the comfort of the silent strength the tree provided in an ever-changing world.  Now she wished that the tree could talk to her, that the sentient spirit could tell her what to do.  
  
Gaze shifting to the side, Kagome frowned as she stared at the awakening flowerbed near the storehouses.  Pushing herself away from the tree, she slowly moved forward, images in her mind fitting together as a sense of understanding fleshed out.  
  
' _The flowers . . . the lilies_ . . .' she thought as she knelt before the fledgling plants.  Though not even close to being ready to bloom, Kagome didn't need to see the colors to know.  She'd seen them for years, every summer they blossomed.  
  
A staggering sense of déjà vu washed over her, and Kagome gasped.  Her grandfather had told her before, that the garden was sacred, that it had existed for centuries.  Her mother had said that she wasn't sure how old the flowerbed was, but that the seven varieties of lilies thrived in that spot, the sign that they had been planted with the most complete love and devotion . . .  
  
' _Sango's garden_ . . .' Kagome realized, bringing her hand up to her mouth.  The garden that her friend had just planted on the other side of the well . . . it had endured until now.  And something else, something Kagome couldn't quite say . . .  
  
A single tear slid down Kagome's cheek as she tenderly fingered the vibrant waxy leaves.  For Sango to have devoted so much love in planting these flowers that could live and endure through five hundred years . . . The seven different colors and varieties that she'd so carefully selected: one for each of her lost babies . . .  
  
Kagome closed her eyes and slowly stood.  A sudden peace filled her heart, a tempering of the love that had been borne from the pain of loss . . .  
  
Feeling someone's gaze on her, Kagome looked up to see her mother standing in the doorway, a knowing smile full of resigned understanding as well as cautious optimism and pride, Mrs. Higurashi stepped toward her as tears brightened her eyes.  "You've made your choice, haven't you?"  
  
Kagome nodded as her mother pushed her bangs off her forehead.  "Yeah."  
  
"I thought you would, when you realized about the garden."  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
Mrs. Higurashi sighed and turned to stare at the beautiful green stalks.  "I didn't.  I had a hunch, though, when I saw the list of the bulbs that Sango had chosen."  She cupped Kagome's face in her hands and kissed her forehead.  "Even if you would have decided that you couldn't do it, I wanted to let you know how proud I am of you.  To have given this so much thought, and to have weighed all your information . . . I know this wasn't an impetuous decision on your part, and if you need my help, all you have to do is ask."  
  
Kagome nodded slowly, and the two stood and stared at the silent garden that spoke to Kagome's heart.  
  
"If it helps, Kagome . . ." Gazing through her tears into her mother's watery eyes, Kagome wiped her cheeks as Mrs. Higurashi smiled and hugged her shoulders.  "The seven varieties here are the only ones that have ever grown here . . . maybe you were meant to do this, for them, to keep Sango from having to add to her garden."

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Jyaki:** wicked energy, also translated as "miasma," or a "nauseating fume."
> 
> _I know that some have said that they didn't have to get pelvic exams early on. I did. I think it is largely dependent upon the family and the medical history, and while I realize that not everyone got them, I based this off my own knowledge._
> 
> == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  … … … You're gonna do what?????


	11. A Friend's Love

 

~~ ** _Chapter 11_** ~~  
~ ** _A Friend's Love_** ~

 

 

Sango stared at Kagome in absolute shock. Shaking her head slowly as she tried to grasp what she'd said, she tried to fathom the meaning behind it all. “Is it possible?” she asked, breaking the silence in the meadow.

Kagome nodded and handed Sango a book. “Mama took me to a doctor to see about all this, and I can't do it the regular way. I've researched it, though, and they've done this for a long time, without the new ways and means.” She stopped, waiting for them to say something before she tried to explain the technicalities that she'd figured out with her mother's help. “If you two aren't comfortable with it, then it's fine.”

Miroku cleared his throat and stared at Sango. “How would this happen? I mean, I made a vow to Sango, and . . .”

Kagome felt herself blush and took small comfort in the fact that Miroku was just as red-faced as she was. “No, it wouldn't be like that . . . I would just need some of your . . . semen,” she forced herself to say. ` _Good, Kagome. You're offering to carry their baby in your body, and you can't even say the words_ . . .'

“But it would be your baby?” Sango asked quietly.

Kagome swallowed hard. “No . . . the egg would be mine, but the baby would be yours and Miroku's.”

“Could you really do that?” Sango pressed. “Kagome . . .”

“I've thought about it a long time. I wouldn't offer if I didn't know I could do it.”

“And InuYasha?”

“He told me to do what I needed to do, to help you.”

“You didn't tell him what you were thinking?” Miroku asked incredulously. “Kagome . . .”

She shook her head. “I tried to tell him, but you know how he is. Everything is black and white to him, right and wrong, and . . . and I _did_ tell him, before he left. I hollered it at him. I don't know if he heard me or not, but he was gone before I could see if he did. Anyway, it's really not his choice.”

“Oh?” Miroku countered. “You believe that? You know that violent reaction he has whenever Kouga's around?” Kagome nodded slowly. “Think much bigger. _Way_ bigger.”

“You want to talk about bigger? What about your garden, Sango? How much bigger is that going to get before it kills you inside? How many more times will you lose babies before you'll let me help you?” Kagome asked quietly. “Don't make this about InuYasha. I'll deal with him. I've tried to wish the well open, I've tried to think of anything else that would help you, and there's nothing. I can do this. You've both done so much for me. Let me help you this time.”

When Sango and Miroku continued to exchange worried glances, Kagome sighed and dug into her backpack for the last weapon she had. Pulling out the Polaroid snapshot, she handed it to Sango. “That's your garden, Sango. It was taken last summer. All seven varieties you chose. In my time, there are still only seven. I think I'm meant to do this for you, if you'll let me.”

Sango wiped her eyes as she stared at the picture. “It's my garden,” she murmured as Miroku peeked over her shoulder. “My garden . . .”

Miroku closed his eyes as he turned his face away. Kagome didn't miss the telling brightness in his eyes when he opened them to gaze off at the forest. “I don't know, Kagome. What you're offering is a blessing, but InuYasha is my friend—our friend—and whether you believe it or not, he does care about you. I don't want to ruin anything with you two before you have a chance to see if there is anything there . . . “

“Miroku . . .” Kagome began slowly, clearing her throat as a knot formed, as her stomach constricted. She was taking a risk, wasn't she? But she knew that. “If he cares, then he'll still care, even if I do this.” When Miroku still didn't look convinced, Kagome sighed. “Look, InuYasha does things that I don't like, but that doesn't mean that I care about him any less. This is something I _want_ to do, for the two of you. Let me make my choice, and let me deal with InuYasha. If we were together, then it'd be different. We're not, and I . . . I don't know if we ever will be, but I _do_ know that this is something I've thought about a lot, and it's something I really want to do.”

“I . . . I want to do this, if Kagome's willing,” Sango said quietly, staring at the picture in her hands. Turning her gaze on Miroku, she reached over, laid her hand on his arm. “Please . . . Kagome's right. If he loves her, he'll still love her.”

Miroku made a face but smiled at last. “Easy for you two to say. You're not the one he's going to try to kill.” He sighed. “All right. Explain to us how this whole thing works.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

  
_Her window was open, the sweet spring night air filtering into the room as her scent came to him. An underlying hint of something primitive wrapped around his body, drew him closer. He'd only meant to make sure she was safe. The call of her soul was too strong to be ignored. A light thump as he dropped off the windowsill into her bedroom, he fell back against the wall as her scent grew stronger_. `Kagome . . .'

“ _InuYasha_.”

  
_She sat up on her bed. In the faint moonlight siphoning through the window, he could see every curve, every line, every hollow of her body. wearing one of those tiny shirts she called a tank top with just a pair of her cotton-and-lace panties, the sight of her was enough to draw a soft whine from him as he stared, transfixed, as she rose from the bed, as she approached him in the dark_.

  
_“Did you miss me?” she asked, her voice a whisper as she stopped near enough to feel the heat radiating off her body, far enough away that she wasn't touching him at all. She didn't have to. “You don't have to say . . . I missed you, though_.”

  
_She didn't give him a chance to answer. Her lips touched his, softly, gently, as everything that was Kagome surrounded him in an instant. Her fragrance overwhelmed him_ _—_ _sakura blossoms in the springtime rain. The feel of her lips on his, opening, teasing, the tip of her tongue tracing his mouth, pressing against his teeth, running along his fangs. She stood away from him, hands clutching his haori so tightly that he could feel the neckline digging against the back of his neck_.

“ _Hold me,” she murmured against his lips, “don't leave me behind again_ . . .”

“ _No,” he assured her, hands wrapping around her, dragging her against him as she gasped. The tension gripped him as he held her, as he slipped a hand into the silk of her hair, as he tipped her head, tasting the sweetness of her. The understanding that she wanted his kisses, wanted his arms around her, wanted to be with him spurred an urgency in touch, drove a rampant passion through him as she returned the pressure of his mouth, as she pressed closer to him_.

  
_Hands tugging on his haori, relentless as she searched for his flesh, she yanked his haori and undershirt open, her hands delving beneath. InuYasha closed his eyes as Kagome's hands brushed over him, kneading muscle, teasing skin. The absolute sensation, the shock of her touch shot through him. Her mouth dropped to his chest, and when he opened his eyes to look at her, the fire banking in her gaze scalded his blood, fired something primitive and dark. “Tell me what you want, InuYasha . . ._ ”

  
_His answer was a groan as her tongue flicked over his nipple, hands delving lower, fumbling with the ties of his hakama, yanking viciously s she struggled to work the knot. She worked it free, staring into his eyes as her fingers slipped lower between his clothing, seeking his skin_ . . .

With a start, InuYasha jerked awake, nearly unseating himself from his treetop perch in the process. “What the . . . ?” he grumbled as he struggled to shake off the remnants of the dream, the all-too-real proof of what it had done to him. Staring down at his chest with a marked frown and a hot blush, he tugged his undershirt closed and hastily retied his hakama.

Dropping out of the tree with a low groan, InuYasha rubbed his face as he stuck Tetsusaiga through his waistband.

` _Tell me what you want, InuYasha_ . . .'

` _What's happening to me?_ ' he wondered. Why did he keep having these dreams?

He sighed and sank down under the tree. He'd had dreams before, every now and again, of kissing Kagome. Lately, though, the dreams had gotten more potent, more real. Even now, he ached so badly that he closed his eyes against the force of his need. He'd never felt anything quite as overpowering as the current of wanting, the desperation of his state of mind. He had to do something or he'd end up going crazy.

Staggering to his feet, InuYasha headed toward the nearby pond, knowing in the back of his mind that it was a completely hopeless endeavor. He'd done the same thing for the last four nights, seeking out some sort of relief in the cold night waters. It never, ever worked.

This dream had been the worst of them. The first dream had been no more than the heat of her lips against his, and that had been enough to keep him awake the rest of the night. It seemed like the images grew steadily worse with every passing night.

Hurriedly shedding his clothes before he dove into the frigid water of the cold spring, the liquid offered him little relief against the physical discomfort of the lingering dream. Kagome's hands had felt too real, raking over him in her wanton perusal. Her kisses had been too vivid, her scent too close. Bad enough, for the dreams to force him to the absolute limit of his own desires, his need for her grew. ` _Kami, Kagome . . . what have you done to me?_ '

His human night had been the worst. Already in a more vulnerable state because he was human, the dream he'd had that night was tough to deal with. He'd dreamt of kissing her, of stroking her hair, and he knew that it felt too real under his fingers, knew that it was all just an illusion. The ache that came with it, however, the burn in his veins hadn't listened to reason. ` _It was just a dream_ ,' he told himself, ` _nothing but a fucking dream_ . . .'

Even in the moonlight with no one there to discern his thoughts, InuYasha blushed as dragged himself through the water. What he'd had to do to rid himself of his all-consuming need that night . . . His human mind, his human body hadn't been able to take it. The torment was magnified by his own vivid memories, unaffected by the passage of time, the inner knowledge of what Kagome looked like under her clothes hadn't helped. As if every single thing he knew about her had been reawakened in him, he'd done the only thing he knew of that would rid him of his rampant need, and in the end, it had just felt wrong.

Grimacing at his own weakness, InuYasha blocked that out of his mind. Something about it had felt immoral, dirty, as though he shouldn't have put a face on his need, as though he were somehow belittling her with what he had done. That was the reason he hadn't done it since. He'd prefer to live with his own discomfort than to defile her with his inability to control his own thoughts.

And that scared him, too. The Kagome he knew was so pure, so gentle, and yet the one that came to him in his dreams was so different. She smelled the same, looked the same, but her daring, her overwhelming presence . . . It confused him.

Finally stopping to stand under the current of the waterfall, InuYasha closed his eyes and sighed and waited. His body tense and aching, he did the only thing he could do. He waited for the sun to rise, waited for the night to fade, waited for the dreams to disburse so he could get on with his search for answers.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome swallowed hard as she stared at the ovulation predictor kit in her shaking hand. It had been a little over a week since she'd approached Sango and Miroku with her idea to carry their baby. She started taking the ovulation predictor tests two days ago. Having read the instructions over and over again, she knew she hadn't made a mistake anywhere. It looked exactly like a pregnancy test. She held the plastic stick up again and swallowed hard as butterflies took over her belly.

Two blue lines. It was time.

Drawing a deep breath, Kagome opened the bathroom door and headed for the kitchen.

Mrs. Higurashi looked up from the morning paper and smiled reassuringly at her daughter.

“Mama . . . it's time.”

Mrs. Higurashi's smile faded slightly but didn't disappear as she rose from her chair. “Okay. I'll get everything ready for you here, then.”

Kagome managed a weak smile and nodded as she hurriedly hugged her mother and ran out of the kitchen and through the house, heading for the back door.

Trying not to think about how her life would change, trying only to concentrate on the extraordinary feeling that she would be able to help Sango and Miroku, Kagome thought back to the day she'd had to explain to her friends, how this would all work as she threw open the well-house door and ran down the steps to hurtle the wall and drop inside.

“ _So you're saying you'll use this ovulation predictor kit to figure out when the best time for you to get pregnant would be and then I'm supposed to . . . `do my thing' in a cup?” Miroku asked dubiously as his face reddened. Sango stared studiously at the book in her lap_.

“ _Yes,” Kagome said after clearing her throat as her face exploded in crimson color, “That's what I need you to do_.”

“ _Um . . . forgive me for asking, Kagome_ ,” _the ex-monk said slowly, “but how will you use it?_ ”

  
_She made a face. This was the only part she was really uncomfortable with. Having discussed it with her mother, though, they had come to the conclusion that it would be the only way. “I'll have to inject it_.”

  
_Miroku looked like he wanted to ask something else but didn't. Sango shook her head. “And you think this will work?_ ”

  
_Kagome shrugged. “I don't know. That's how they did it, before they came up with more sophisticated means, and it worked then . . . Anyway, it's worth a shot, if it will give you two a baby_.”

Her feet hit the ground on the other side of the well, and Kagome hurriedly climbed up. It had also been decided that, once Kagome had what she needed, Sango and Miroku would go on their postponed trip to the exterminators' village. They normally went at least once a season, and they'd had to put off their spring trip because of Sango's condition. But Kagome had thought that it'd be better if Miroku were gone when she tried to explain this to InuYasha, and since it would take at least a couple of weeks before she could actually take a pregnancy test, anyway, then there really wasn't anything anyone else could do to speed up the process.

Shippou and Ichisaru were playing tag in the meadow when Kagome popped her head out of the well. The kitsune grinned and ran to her with the monkey close on his heels. “Kagome! Is it time?”

“It is,” she said with a soft giggle. Shippou and Ichisaru didn't wait to hear more.

They'd told the children only that Kagome was going to have a baby for Sango and Miroku, and that when the time came, they'd be `in charge of' letting the monk know. Following along well behind the children, Kagome breathed deeply to calm her nerves.

` _I'm meant to do this_ ,” she assured herself, ` _and InuYasha . . . even if he doesn't understand_ . . .'

She shook her head. He'd never understand it. There wasn't any use in trying to convince herself that he would, but if he couldn't deal with it . . . She sighed. ` _But it's not about him. This is something I have to do, and . . . and if he cares at all . . . maybe he'll try to understand that_.'

“And if he can't deal with it,” she assured herself as she stumbled along the path, “then . . . then I'll figure that out, too.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Hakama:** InuYasha's pants.
> 
> == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Miroku :**  
>  I think a long trip sounds good, don't you, Sango?  
> ==========


	12. Shades of Gray

 

 

~~ ** _Chapter 12_** ~~  
~ ** _Shades of Gray_** ~

 

Smiling slightly as he sailed above the forest he knew so well, InuYasha tried not to think about the reason he was in such a hurry to get back to the village—and to the well. Three weeks and six days had been too long, and other than locating the cave, he hadn't actually been able to gather much more information, other than that the men who had suffered the mysterious deaths were all older, and all had been alone at the time. Still, though, the scent of the strange woman lingered, and that was enough to bother InuYasha.

He certainly wasn't in a hurry to see _her_. No. Not at all. InuYasha snorted and shoved aside the underlying guilt inspired by his claims that he hadn't missed Kagome. ` _Keh. Fine. Maybe I missed the wench . . . a_ little.'

He sighed. He was exhausted. He couldn't rightfully recall the last time he'd gotten a decent night's sleep. It had to be better now. It was just the distance between Kagome and him that had been bothering him, he reasoned.

Deciding to pass the village for now, InuYasha headed straight for the well. He could tell by the emptiness in the air that she wasn't here. For that matter, InuYasha could tell that the others were gone, too. Well, he'd figure that out later, but for now . . . What would Kagome do when she saw him?

Sprinting through the forest straight toward the well, InuYasha didn't slow down in his stride as he vaulted over the side and dropped into the time slip.

Kagome's scent hit him hard as soon as he landed on her side of the well. She might not be inside the well-house, but she was close, and she was outside. Staggering back as the fragrance wrapped around him, he leaned against the wall with a stifled whine before he could gather the strength to jump out, to find her.

Pushing open the well-house doors, InuYasha stopped, blinked, stared. Kagome sat on the ground near a small flowerbed with a book on her lap and a slight frown marring her brow. As though she sensed him near, she slowly lifted her head, turning her face slowly, eyes locking with his across the courtyard.

He didn't move. He _couldn't_ move. Her scent was deeper, richer, stronger than he remembered though still Kagome, still everything that he craved. An underlying sense of something that he would be able to discern if he could clear the sight of her out of his head nagged at him. He ignored it as he slowly pushed away from the doors, as he slowly stepped toward her.

She set the book aside and got to her feet. The little blue skirt she wore flipped around in the breeze, the blouse billowing around her as she lifted her hand to pull her hair out of her face. Fidgeting nervously as he approached, she tried to smile but the expression failed. “You're back,” she said softly as she stepped back in retreat. The idea filtered through his mind, that she acted as if she was scared of something. He shoved that thought aside, too.

“Keh.”

Shifting from one foot to the other, Kagome sighed and shook her head. “InuYasha, I have to tell you something.”

“Can't it wait, wench? Don't you have some ramen or something around here?”

She winced. InuYasha narrowed his gaze at her strange behavior. “It can't wait anymore.”

That strange undertone in her scent came to him again, and InuYasha stepped back. He hadn't smelled that sort of thing on anyone other than Sango, but it was enough for him to recognize. ` _No, fucking way_ ,' his mind insisted as he shook his head, as he backed away from her. With every breath, with every smell, he felt like he was being suffocated. Unable to keep the confusion, the accusation, out of his tone, he stared at her, eyebrows furrowing, and said, “Kagome?”

“I tried to tell you . . . I tried to ask you, and you said—”

“You're fucking carrying that lecher's _pup_?” he bellowed, unable to keep his temper in check.

She flinched and raised her hands to placate him. He backed away from her. “We're trying it, I don't know for sure yet, and—”

He snorted. “I just fucking _told_ you, didn't I? What . . . _why?_ ”

“Because they can't! Because you were right. There aren't any shades of gray. You said it yourself. There's only black and white, and—”

Why didn't she smell like she'd been claimed? If she was carrying Miroku's child, why couldn't he smell that fucking lecher on her? He sniffed again and winced inside. No, all he could smell was the pup . . . Confusion spun out of his control; anger welled as the confusion reached a painful high. “Damn it, bitch! You never said you were going to _be_ with him!”

“I wasn't . . . I—”

“How could you do that? I thought I _knew_ you. I thought . . . Keh!”

“You thought what?” she countered softly. “Listen to me, please, I—”

“Was he what you wanted? Was he the one you chose? What about Sango? What the fuck kind of friend are you?”

“I'm doing this _because_ I'm their friend,” she argued weakly, her voice no more than a whisper. “Please understand—”

“ _Understand?_ Understand what? That I've protected you, and rescued you over and over, and told you things that I _never_ wanted to talk about to anyone, and you . . . _Fuck_ , Kagome! _What are you trying to do to me?_ ”

“I-I'm not—I didn't—”

“Did you fuck him?”

She gasped at his controlled question, his soft hiss; skin paling as she stared at him in complete and utter shock. “No.”

Digging his claws into his palms as he struggled to keep from grabbing and shaking her, he shook his head against her denial. “ _Did you fuck him?_ ”

“ _No!_ ”

“ _Then how the hell did his pup get inside you?_ ” InuYasha bellowed as Kagome shied away. “I never, ever want to look at your face again, bitch. You're nothing but a fucking whore.”

“I'm sorry,” she choked out. The tears that were already thick in Kagome's voice spilled over. With a sharp gasp, she turned and ran, disappearing into the shrine as InuYasha decimated a small wooden bench. It did little to assuage his rage. Even if his mind assured him that she didn't smell like she'd actually given herself to Miroku, his nose hadn't been wrong about what he had scented. She was carrying his pup, and that . . . It was enough to tear him open in places that Kagome would never, ever see.

` _What do you expect, baka? You never told her how you felt. You always pushed her away . . . How long did you expect her to follow you around? She . . . she never was yours_ . . .'

Turning on his heel and stalking toward the well-house, InuYasha was so lost in his own thoughts, his own recriminations, his own misery and frustration, he didn't heard the shrine doors open, didn't smell the intruder. He knew he had been trying to push her away. He knew the reasons why he couldn't have her. Of all the men she could have chosen, she chose _Miroku?_ Damn it, _why?_ “InuYasha? I thought you were here. Will you talk to me, before you go?”

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell Mrs. Higurashi to go to hell. For some reason, he couldn't. With a sigh, he turned his head to stare at her. She offered him a little smile and linked her arm through his, leading the way toward the gate that led into the forest.

She didn't speak right away as they wandered through the trees. As though she were gathering her thoughts together, Mrs. Higurashi sighed and stared up at the trees. “It upsets you, what Kagome is doing. To be honest I was sort of hoping she would decide not to do it, not because I didn't want her to, but I know how hard this is going to be on her, and on you.”

InuYasha didn't answer. Unable to trust himself to keep his emotions in check, he opted for stoic silence instead.

“I told Kagome she needed to tell you about her idea; that she needed to at least warn you about what she was considering.”

InuYasha's ears flattened as he remembered how many times she'd tried to do that, and how he always cut her off short . . . “She should have fucking tried harder,” he snarled, unable to let go of his anger.

“She didn't do this to hurt you,” Mrs. Higurashi pointed out gently. “Even if you can't understand why she wants to do this, please try to understand that she didn't do it to hurt you. She wouldn't.”

InuYasha snorted. “How can she be carrying his pup when she doesn't . . . I can't smell . . .” Trailing off as a hot blush shot up his skin, he made a face and stomped away.

Mrs. Higurashi sighed. “Kagome didn't have sex with Miroku, if that's what you're asking,” she explained gently. “He deposited his semen in a cup, and she brought it back. I helped her because she asked me to. We used medicine droppers. There was no contact whatsoever between Miroku and Kagome.”

Even if InuYasha didn't quite understand the technicalities of what her mother was saying, he didn't have to be brilliant to get the gist of it, which only served to further his embarrassment.

“That don't really help. She's going to have his pup.”

“No,” Mrs. Higurashi argued softly. “She's going to give birth to Sango and Miroku's child. It's not her baby, and she knows that. I just hoped you could at least try to understand it, too. She loves Sango and Miroku. That's why she wanted to do this for them. But she loves you, too. I think you're her best friend, and I know that your relationship means everything to her. That was one of the reasons she struggled so hard with her decision.”

“If our relationship meant that much to her, she'd have found a way to make me listen.”

“InuYasha? Have you ever tried to tell someone you really cared about something as serious as this?”

Jerking his head in answer, InuYasha couldn't bring himself to say the word out loud.

Mrs. Higurashi smiled compassionately. “You know my daughter. You know her heart. Do you honestly think she'd do something just to hurt you?”

InuYasha sighed, unable to meet her gaze. “I _thought_ I knew her.”

“She knew the risk she was taking, InuYasha, and she chose to do this anyway. I know it doesn't make it easier to understand, but if it's any consolation at all, it was a very difficult decision for her to make.”

InuYasha didn't answer. Staring out over the forest without really seeing it, he had to sigh as he tried to make sense of anything at all. He wasn't sure how long he stood there. When he turned back around, Mrs. Higurashi was gone.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome pushed open the well-house doors and furiously blinked back her tears. The moon was high in the sky. She grimaced as she stared at it. She'd done nothing but think about InuYasha's words—those hateful, painful words—and in the end, she knew he was right. She'd known the risk she was taking when she decided to do this. She knew that she was basically disregarding InuYasha's feelings in it, and maybe a small part of her wanted him to know what it felt like, to feel so unimportant, so insignificant . . . the way she always felt when he ran off to see Kikyou . . .

` _No!_ ' her mind screamed at her. ` _That's not true . . . you never wanted to hurt him; you know you didn't_.'

It didn't matter what she knew or what she wanted. When you made a choice this big, there were bound to be repercussions. She had known that. She'd just been foolish enough to think that InuYasha could get over it. The look on his face, the consuming sense of betrayal as he stared at her . . . She swallowed back another wash of tears. She couldn't regret her choice. The guilt at the look on InuYasha's face, though . . . she'd never get over that.

She blinked again as she tromped slowly down the stairs to the side of the well. ` _This was the risk I knew I was taking,_ ' she thought as she sat on the ledge of the well. ` _I just hoped . . ._ ' She couldn't finish it as she dropped into the well . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha felt the night coming without having to open his eyes. To open them would mean having to stare at the flower garden, the one that Sango had so obviously planted in memory of her lost pups, and that, in turn, only led to more confusion, more anger, more . . . everything. In truth, he didn't know what to feel.

He'd spent hours tearing through his forest, ripping down trees when the frustration got to be too much. The trouble was, everything Kagome's mother had said was true. Kagome _wouldn't_ try to hurt him intentionally. She didn't have it in her to do it, and he knew that. Kagome was too kind, too gentle, too caring to be capable of that level of animosity.

The anger had left him not long after he'd come back to this time leaving behind nothing but a bruised ache, a painful hollow. As hurtful as it was, to think about the idea of Kagome carrying Miroku's pup, the idea of never seeing her again was so much worse, and if he were completely honest with himself, he knew that he really couldn't ever truly hate her, couldn't fault her for doing something for someone she cared about.

No, he had to admit that the thing that had bothered him most had been the thought that Kagome had been with Miroku. After denying himself and making up reasons for so long that it had become second nature, the thought that she would have been with Miroku for any reason had been too much to bear. Shaking his head, he tried not to think about it. To think about it made it all that much more real, and reality was way too painful. Still, hadn't his own senses told him that she hadn't been with Miroku at all? That didn't make it any easier for him to swallow. Didn't that prove, though, that Kagome _did_ care what he thought?

He winced. If that were true, then he really had been an ass, and not just part of an ass; a complete ass, the _whole_ ass, and the things he'd said to her, even in anger . . . ` _Kagome . . . I didn't mean it . . . I was just mad and a little . . . hurt . . . Oh, hell, a lot hurt_ . . .'

Her mother's words hurt him, and he uttered a heavy sigh _. `I think you're her best friend, and I know that your relationship means everything to her_.'

And, he realized, too, she _had_ tried to tell him, many times, and every one of those times, he'd cut her off. _`Keh! I didn't_ know _she was planning on doing something so fucking stupid!'_ he railed then sighed. _`I didn't know . . . because I didn't stop to listen_ . . .'

But the worst realization was the one that drew a low whine from him as his ears drooped, as his shoulders slumped. ` _The reasons she's doing this for them . . . aren't they the same reasons I . . . I love her?_ '

Wrapping his arms tighter around Tetsusaiga, InuYasha let his head fall back against Goshinboku as the lure of exhausted sleep tugged at him. ` _How do I tell her I'm sorry . . . ? How can I stand to know she's carrying Miroku's pup? How . . . ?_ ' So many questions and no real answers . . . All he knew was that the idea of never seeing her again hurt too much, dug too deep. He had to see her. She was necessary to him.

` _Maybe_ ,' he mused as he started to drift off, ` _maybe it'll make more sense in the morning_ . . .' The blessed arms of sleep welcomed him, the lone figure in the dark forest.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome knelt beside InuYasha, unable to keep her tears from falling as she lifted her hands slowly and carefully, reaching for the kotodama rosary. She'd gone over it in her head. It was the only thing she could do now. Why did it break her heart to do it, though?

Staring at him, sleeping in the darkness, remembering the time when she first found him pinned to the same tree . . . ` _He looked like this then, didn't he? Like he was sleeping_ . . .' It wasn't the freedom from the rosary that hurt. It was the idea that she was releasing him from his promise, telling him that he was no longer expected to protect her . . . the protection that she loved.

` _Just do it, Kagome . . . you've hurt him enough_.'

Kagome closed her eyes, willed back the sharper edges of the pain in her heart. ` _I'm so sorry, InuYasha . . . I never meant to hurt you, not like this . . . not ever_ . . .'

Gathering her courage, making her hands work despite the trembling in her fingers, Kagome grasped the beads and gently pulled them over his head, out from under his hair. “I'm sorry, InuYasha . . . you're free now.”

“K'gome . . .” She gasped softly as his eyes slowly opened, gaze locking on hers, glowing in the darkness of the night. “What are you doing?”

Clearing her throat, unable to look him in the eye, she tried to keep her voice from betraying the pain in her heart, tried to lie to herself, to convince herself that he would be happier now, without her. “I'm releasing you . . . from your vow. I don't want to hurt you anymore, and . . . I'm sorry, InuYasha, so sorry . . . Goodbye.”

Before she gave in to the tears that were choking her, Kagome shot to her feet and ran. Stumbling through the forest as she sprinted blindly toward the meadow, toward the well, the sound of her shattering heart blocked out the murmurs, the laughter of the mocking trees.

Flashes of hurtful memories, quiet moments spent just sitting together, staring over the forest, of the few times he'd smiled at something she'd said, the secrets he'd told her that he hadn't meant to say . . . so much worse than the idea of losing her friend was the nagging knowledge that she was also losing the one person who had come to know her best: her soul mate . . . She knew everything about him, and she thought he had known her, too.

Breaking into the clearing, Kagome kept running. As badly as it hurt her to remove the rosary, she'd hurt him so much worse. The pain, the anger in his gaze came back to her, the ugly words that she had deserved. ` _I never, ever want to look at your face again, bitch. You're nothing but a fucking whore_.'

But the pain grew in her chest, worse and worse as she wondered how much longer until it burst. Dropping to her knees beside the well, she broke down in sobs as she held the rosary against her chest. She felt as though a part of her was dying inside, as though the very reason she awoke in the morning was gone, and that thought scared her even as her mind tried to tell her that it was all her fault after all . . .

“Keh. Stupid Kagome. Don't you know you can't just release me from a vow?”

Sniffling as she dared to raise her chin, she gasped to see him standing over her, arms crossed, expression unreadable. She stared at him for what seemed like hours. He stared back at her without saying a word.

She swallowed hard as he hunkered down next to her, not touching her but not avoiding her, either. After a moment, he shrugged off his haori and tossed it over her shoulders even though she wasn't really cold. A small smile surfaced on her lips despite the tears that pooled in her eyes. He wrapped his arms around Tetsusaiga and stared off at the forest.

He was still beside her as the sun rose above the horizon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  Why do I get the feeling that you're still really mad at Miroku, InuYasha?


	13. Coming to Terms

 

~~ ** _Chapter 13_** ~~  
~ ** _Coming to Terms_** ~

 

“Couldn't you have just caught them a rabbit or something?”

Kagome rolled her eyes as she leaned against Goshinboku. “And the rabbit would take the place of a baby?”

“Keh. It'd make less noise,” he countered from around the other side of the tree.

“Spoken like a true baka.”

“Maybe.” He sighed. “I don't understand. How can you say it ain't your pup?”

Kagome sighed, too. “Well, it isn't, not really . . . I mean, it's Sango and Miroku's.”

“Well, Sango's, at least. I may have to kill that fucking Miroku.”

“Why Miroku? For your information, we had to talk him into it.”

“'Course you did. He's a man. It's you women that have the fucked-up ideas.”

“Really?”

“Well, Kagome, you gotta admit, this is not one of your best plans.”

She sighed. “I think it is.”

InuYasha snorted. “We're talking the same brain that allowed Ichisaru to steal the jewel out from under your nose, remember?”

“That was completely different.”

“Keh.”

“It was . . . Ichisaru tricked me.”

She didn't have to see his face to know he was rolling his eyes. “Kagome . . .”

“Hmm?”

“Are you sure? That you can give up your pup?”

She sighed again. “I'm sure, and I told you, it isn't really mine.”

“Yeah, but . . . _you_ get attached to everything. Take Shippou, for example . . .”

“Shippou is completely different.”

“Keh.”

“Did you find what you were looking for on your trip?” she asked to change the topic.

InuYasha wrinkled his nose. “Not that I _don't_ know you're just trying to change the subject, but sort of.”

“What were you looking for?”

Thinking about that cave was enough to make InuYasha scowl. “Just something.”

“InuYasha? I thought you said that I'm supposed to tell you things, even if you don't want to hear them.”

He grimaced at the reminder of the first thing he'd said to her this morning. “ _You_ are. _I_ don't get stupid ideas.”

Her answer was a pronounced snort. “So trying to block the well with a boulder wasn't a stupid idea? Shoving a tree down the well to keep me here wasn't a stupid idea? Kaze no Kizu'ing the school auditorium wasn't a—”

“Damn, wench, beat a dead horse, why don't you . . . ?”

“I rest my case. Now tell me what sort of answers you were looking for.”

“Hey, you two. How about a snack?”

InuYasha peeked around the tree trunk to see Mrs. Higurashi approaching with a tray of food. Eyes bulging out at the sheer amount heaped on the platters, he snorted. “Snack?” he echoed as he reached for a cup of instant ramen.

“Well, I wasn't sure what Kagome might like, so I made a little bit of everything, though, darling, I'd prefer if you didn't eat the ramen. Very little nutritional value, you know.”

“Thanks, Mama,” Kagome managed as she stared at the copious amounts of food. She swallowed hard.

“You're welcome,” Mrs. Higurashi said with her gentle smile in place. “InuYasha? Will you be a dear and make sure that Kagome eats something?”

“Keh.” Rolling over onto his side to prop his head on his hand and shooting Kagome an entirely too-smug grin, InuYasha set his cup on the ground and used his other hand to feed himself as Mrs. Higurashi disappeared back into the shrine. “Hear that, wench? You gotta do _whatever_ I say.”

She narrowed her eyes and wrinkled her nose. “I don't. She just said that I was supposed to eat something, not that I had to do whatever you said.”

“Same thing.”

“Not hardly!”

“Keh! When I leave you to your own devices, you always get in over your head, wench. Maybe you ought to listen to me more often, don't you think?”

Kagome rolled her eyes. “Dream on, dog-boy.”

InuYasha fell silent as he polished off the rest of his ramen. Staring down at his haori, he couldn't help but feel a strange sense that something was missing as he gazed where his kotodama rosary used to be. He didn't really miss the beads so much as he missed the significance of the visual reminder, the physical embodiment of the promise he'd made to protect her, and while removing the rosary didn't change the fact that he was still honor-bound to do that, it did remind him, too, that other than that promise, there wasn't a damn thing binding her to him . . . and that was something he didn't like, at all. “Oi, wench. What did you do with my beads?”

Kagome peeked over the rice ball she was nibbling to blink at him curiously. “Beads? What beads?”

He snorted. “Keh! My rosary! What did you do with it?”

She shrugged. “I have it. Why?”

He held out his hand and wiggled his fingers. “Give it.”

Raising one of her eyebrows as she continued to eye him dubiously, Kagome slowly shook her head. “I . . . don't think so.”

“Why the hell not?”

“You don't need them. I don't need them.” She shifted, drawing her legs up beside her as she set the rice ball down and shrugged, as though it were all so simple. “I'd rather know that you're with me because you want to be, not because I can say `it'.”

InuYasha digested that as he reached over and swiped up her rice ball. She didn't comment but did smile as he took a huge bite out of it. “Fair enough,” he intoned around a mouthful of rice. “Jus' keep it, `case you need it, `kay?”

She grimaced at his deplorable lack of viable manners. “Ugh, InuYasha . . .”

He swallowed his huge mouthful and stuffed in the rest of the rice ball. “So `fess up. Where did Sango and that fucking pervert go?”

Kagome shook her head. “I'm not saying, and you're not really going to attack Miroku or anything, are you?”

“Hells, yes,” he grumbled, “and don't try to stop me; it's the principle of the thing.”

“The principle of what thing?”

He felt his cheeks heat up under her scrutiny and stubbornly shook his head. “Nothing. It just . . . he never should have . . . Damn it.”

“InuYasha?”

He sighed. “What?”

“I'm sorry . . . I should have told you.”

“Would it have changed your mind? That I don't like it?”

She winced. “Uh . . . no.”

He nodded. “I didn't think so.”

Popping open a bottle of apple juice, Kagome sighed softly.

“Kagome?”

She turned her head to gaze at him as she lowered the bottle and waited.

“Just . . . the one pup, right?”

She smiled slowly and nodded. InuYasha sighed.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _Foul things are rising_ . . .'

Staring out over the lands with a narrowed gaze as the early morning breeze whipped through his long silver locks, Sesshoumaru could feel the tension rising off the land. An evil aura, a whisper in the darkness, a vapid pall of something wicked . . .

Stealing through the land with a silence that was tainted, he could feel the presence of evil, the malignant stench of something vile . . .

` _What manner of thing would dare intrude here? A fool's wish for death?_ '

A wan smile, no more than the turning of the corners of his lips though the emotion did not reach his cold stare surfaced on the tai-youkai's face. ` _So be it. Let them come_.'

“Sesshoumaru-sama!”

He heard the imp calling his name. He didn't bother to turn. Jaken always knew that Sesshoumaru could hear him.

“Sesshoumaru-sama!” the imp gasped as he skidded to a halt beside his lord. “Pardon me, Sesshoumaru-sama! They've taken Rin!”

No outward change in expression came, no twitching of his jaw, no tell-tale signs of any real anger. “Who, Jaken?”

“I don't know, my lord! Hideous beasts, half-man, half . . . other. Impossible to tell, and they reeked of decaying flesh.”

Sesshoumaru turned on his heel, lifting his face to smell the air. Heading off toward the south, Sesshoumaru stalked off leaving the imp behind to catch up.

“I tried to stop them, my lord!” Jaken blubbered, wringing his hands as he scurried along beside Sesshoumaru, taking four strides for every one of the tai-youkai's. “They have a dust . . . it rendered the Staff of Skulls useless!”

“Enough, Jaken.”

Jaken swallowed hard, seeing the unmistakable signs of his master's fierce rage surfacing at last. The burn in his amber eyes, the shifting in his stance, the crackling of his claws as he flexed his fingers . . .

“Jaken . . . if Rin is harmed in any way, I will hold you personally responsible.”

A huge sweat drop rolled down the imp's green face. “Aye, my lord!” he squeaked as he hurried along in Sesshoumaru's wake.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“ _Kiss me_.”

“ . . . _I_ . . .”

“ _Don't think, just do it_.”

“ . . . _But_ . . .”

“ _InuYasha . . . don't you want to?_ ”

“ _Kagome_ . . .”

“ _Then just do it. Kiss me_.”

“ _You're carrying_ —”

“ _Fine, then I'll kiss you_.”

  
_Rising out of the water, naked to the hips that disappeared from view under the ebbing current, Kagome reached for him. Sitting on the rock watching over her as she bathed, InuYasha never had the strength to resist her, couldn't ignore her, didn't really want to. Wet hands slipping into his hair, she pulled herself up as he wrapped his arms around her, as he accepted the passion behind her mouth, as he dragged her closer to his body_.

  
_Bathed in moonlight, her body was veiled only by dark shadows, glimmering planes, droplets of water like diamonds on her skin. She pulled him into the water, shoved aside his haori, his shirt, forcing him back against the rocks, she trapped him with her body, hands running up and down his chest, fingernails scratching over him as her heated mouth scorched him, as he gasped her name. Every part of her called to him, tugged at him, as though her body was able to speak to his, as though nothing mattered but the moment, the time, the tide of ignited passion_.

“ _I want you,” she whispered, hands rubbing against him through his hakama. “Please . . ._ ”

“ _K-Ka-go-me,” he rasped out, unable to think as she touched him. She'd managed to slip her hands into his hakama. His body reacted to her touch. Fire. Intense, burning, unyielding fire_ _. . . Shuddering under her fingers, powerless to stop her, terrified yet accepting, something_ . . .

  
_Something_ . . .

“ . . . Something wrong?”

InuYasha jerked awake, eyes flying open as his gaze lit on Kagome's worried face. Gently, she reached out to push his bangs out of his face. He shied away from her, unable to bear having her touch him. If she did, he'd combust. Shifting his position where he sat beside her window, he could only be thankful that the room was pitch dark and that she certainly couldn't tell what was going on with his out of control body.

“I'm fine,” he managed, his tone a little gruffer than he'd have liked. Under the circumstances, it really couldn't be helped. He winced as she quickly pulled her hand away from his face.

“Are you sure? You were moaning, and you said my name . . .”

“Uh . . . I said I was fine, didn't I?”

Kagome sighed. “All right,” she finally agreed but hesitated before she stood up and returned to her bed.

InuYasha glared into the darkness. Those dreams . . .

He was pretty sure that the only reason he hadn't had one of those the night before was because he was too exhausted. For that matter, he might have had one, anyway, and just didn't remember. He sighed. He couldn't trust himself anywhere near her. He couldn't stand the idea of leaving her, either. He shook his head. There really wasn't any way he could win . . .

The other immediate problem was that his body, embarrassed or not at having been caught during one of those dreams—at least this time he hadn't stripped off any clothes—-wasn't relaxing at all. In fact, being fully conscious and remaining this close to her was playing hell on his nerves. He could smell her, and every time she shifted even the tiniest bit, the assault on his senses was absolute torture.

Still, something about those dreams seemed weird, unnatural. There was a strange undercurrent in Kagome's actions, almost a desperation that he didn't understand. Her boldness in his dreams scared him, shocked him, her abandon was too complete. Separating the Kagome he knew from the one in the night was becoming harder and harder to do. ` _What the hell is happening to me?_ '

“InuYasha?” she whispered as she leaned up on her elbow.

“What?”

“Are you comfortable there? I can scoot over . . .”

“Keh. I don't fucking think so, wench. Go back to sleep.”

“ . . . Okay.”

He heard her lie back down, felt the shifting in her aura as she rolled over, smashing her face into her pillow. It was a long time before he could tell that she was asleep.

He sighed as he realized just how his words had probably sounded to her. ` _That's not what I meant_ ,' he thought with a wince. ` _I didn't mean I didn't want to . . . I just meant . . . I don't dare_ . . .'

His body still hurt, and with her so close, he had a feeling that it would be a long time before that went away. InuYasha sighed. ` _Doomed_ ,' he thought with a shake of his head. ` _Fucking doomed_ . . .'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  InuYasha . . . Will you listen to me now?


	14. Charades

 

~~ ** _Chapter 14_** ~~  
~ ** _Charades_** ~

 

Hisadaicho stood on the rise of the hill as she waited. A little smile turned the corners of her lips as she scanned the horizon. ` _Where_ _are you, Sesshoumaru? I can feel you . . . you're near, aren't you?_ '

Iwazawa turned his murky gaze on her. “Hisadaicho-sama?”

“Soon.”

Her man nodded.

Over the far hill came the surge of beast-men with the terrified little girl. ` _She's lovely . ._ .' Hisadaicho mused as her smile widened. ` _Extraordinary . . . no small wonder, why the great Sesshoumaru would keep her_ . . .'

“Now.”

The men raced forward, falling upon the tired party. Screams and gurgles echoed in the air as the human-beasts fell to the superior skills of the samurai. Hisadaicho ran forward, snatched the little girl. “Are you all right, child?”

The girl's dark eyes were bright, frightened. She tried to pull away from Hisadaicho as she stared over her shoulder and screamed out the name Hisadaicho had been waiting to hear. “Sesshoumaru-sama!”

With a startled gasp of feigned surprise, she let the girl down as the formidable tai-youkai headed her off in a blur of movement.

Hisadaicho quelled her smile as she stepped back in a show of mock retreat. “My lord, is this child yours?”

“She is in my keeping,” he answered as Rin ducked behind him. “What happened here? Who are you?”

Hisadaicho waved toward her horse, standing docilely on the hill nearby. “I was taking my morning ride when one of my men returned with word of a hoard of scavenging beasts making away with your child. I beg your pardon. My name is Hisadaicho. I am lady of these lands.”

“Then you saved her. For that, I am grateful.”

“The pleasure was mine. These lands are rife with bandits. I'm glad that I could be of assistance. May I ask your name?”

“Sesshoumaru.”

“Sesshoumaru,” she repeated with a little smile. “Your girl is a precious little thing.” Rin frowned at Hisadaicho but remained behind Sesshoumaru.

His icy gaze didn't falter. She couldn't tell whether or not he believed her, but it didn't really matter. “Come, Rin,” he said as he turned to leave. The child glanced back at Hisadaicho for a moment then hurried after Sesshoumaru and his little green imp.

“If you please! The child looks half-dead on her precious little feet. I implore you, find welcome in my home, at least long enough for her to have a decent meal . . .”

He didn't look as though he was going to agree. After a very quick glance at the child, he nodded once. “Very well.”

Hisadaicho turned before her smile could be discerned. “This way, my lord . . .”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha frowned in concentration as he stared at the Shikon no Tama. Lying on the ground between Kagome and him, the jewel looked the same as it always had. “What are we doing again?” he asked without taking his eyes off the pink orb.

“Kaede said that it has to be kept as pure as possible until we can figure out how to get rid of it,” Kagome pointed out. “So that's what we're trying to do.”

“Ain't that your job?” InuYasha asked pointedly. “It's making my head hurt.”

Kagome sighed and picked up the jewel, fastening the chain around her neck again. “Well, it didn't hurt to try, did it?”

InuYasha rubbed his temple and snorted. “Keh! I'm hungry.”

“You can't be hungry,” she argued. “You ate a whole box of pastries, you pig!”

“Keh! I was hungry then, too.”

“Kami, I swear you act more pregnant than I do . . . are you?”

“Oi!”

With a squeal, Kagome shot to her feet and ran for it, toward the path that led to the village as InuYasha closed in fast. Snatching her off her feet, InuYasha sprinted the other way and didn't stop until he was settled in the branches of Goshinboku. “On the scale from one to ten, one being not funny, ten being funny as hell, you scored about a zero, wench.”

She giggled and leaned forward to peek down at the ground. “It's a long way down,” she remarked.

With a loud gasp, she found herself crushed against InuYasha's solid chest. “Are you stupid, wench? Do humans lose what little common sense they've got when they're carrying a pup?”

“N-no,” Kagome stammered, cheeks reddening as she stared into InuYasha's eyes. ` _Too . . . close_ . . .' her mind murmured. ` _Too close? Is there such a thing?_ '

He seemed to realize the same thing she did. With a fascinated stare, Kagome watched as InuYasha swallowed hard. “You'll . . . fall . . .” he warned.

“You won't let me . . .” she whispered back.

He shook his head. “Keh.”

Hands wrapped around her upper arms, InuYasha pulled her closer. Eyes fluttering closed, Kagome stopped breathing as his lips came closer to hers. Closer, closer, she could feel his breath fanning against her face. Not daring to move or even to breathe, all she could think of was his name . . .

“Kagome!”

Kagome wasn't sure if she was just imagining it or not but InuYasha's frustrated growl seemed overly loud to her. In the next moment, she winced as he pulled her more firmly into his embrace and glowered down at the owner of that voice . . . the one person who probably shouldn't have found them.

“InuYasha . . . Kagome . . . Should you be up there?” Miroku asked in a deliberately unconcerned tone.

“Damn you,” InuYasha snarled, covering Kagome's mouth with his hand to keep her quiet. “She'll be fucking _living_ in this tree till your pup's born, then I'll toss it to you, you fucking pervert.”

“InuYasha!” Kagome gasped as she managed to force his hand away from her face. “You will not!”

Obviously missing the nuance of InuYasha's not-so-subtle threat, Miroku grasped the crux of what the hanyou had stated as Sango gasped softly behind him.

Not that she didn't trust InuYasha's sense of smell, but Kagome had taken a conventional test just yesterday morning—two weeks from the date of conception. The test was positive, and InuYasha had snorted when she showed him, his expression saying it all, the raised eyebrow proclaiming, ` _I told you so_ ,' much louder than he could have with his voice.

“Will you put me down?” Kagome asked, raising an eyebrow of her own at the mulish set of the hanyou's features.

“Hmm . . .” he considered in his condescending tone, “since the last time I left you alone on the ground with that fucking monk, you ended up carrying his pup, I'd say the chances of that happening are pretty fucking slim, wench.”

“Be careful up there, Kagome!” Sango fretted.

“Don't drop her, InuYasha!” Shippou added.

“Human in a tree?” Ichisaru asked quizzically.

“Shut the hell up!” InuYasha snarled.

Kagome sighed and peeked down at her friends. “Give me a minute, all right?”

“And don't squeeze her stomach,” Miroku added.

InuYasha's growl started low but escalated quickly as he swept Kagome up and hopped out of the tree, setting her down carefully well away from the rest of the group before he turned back to stalk toward Miroku with a menacing popping of his knuckles. “Do you really think I'd hurt her, Miroku? Do you think I'd hurt any _part_ of her? Are you really that fucking stupid? Damn it, I ought to rip you to fucking shreds!” Miroku backpedaled as InuYasha advanced despite the two female voices hollering at the both of them. “What the hell were you thinking? _If you wanted a miko you should have gone out and found your own because_ that _one belongs to me!_ ”

Three loud gasps echoed in InuYasha's ears along with Ichisaru's confused squeak. He ignored them as he stalked the monk. “Now, InuYasha . . . it wasn't like that,” Miroku hurried to say, holding his hands up before his chest as he kept stepping back in retreat. “I didn't touch your miko—err, Kagome . . .”

“I don't give a rat's ass what part of you did or didn't touch her! She's _still_ carrying your pup—but I will tell you . . . if I catch any part of you on or near her at all, I'll remove it, got that? So keep your fucking hands off her.”

“Understood,” Miroku said quietly.

InuYasha grimaced. “Keh! It better be. Friend or not, Miroku, I swear, I'll—”

“InuYasha . . .”

“What?” he growled without turning to look at Kagome.

“It was my choice. I offered. If you want to be angry with anyone, then be angry at me.”

He sighed and turned away from Miroku. “Keh. You talk too much, wench.” That said, he grabbed her again and hopped back into the tree, much to the others' collective chagrin. A loud growl silenced their protests, though, and to Kagome's relief, Sango announced that they were heading back to the village. “I'm not kidding, wench. I catch so much as a finger of his on you anywhere, and I'll shove it down his fucking throat.”

Kagome sighed, too. “InuYasha . . . it _is_ his baby. He should be able to feel it moving and everything, too.”

“Moving? It's moving?”

She shrugged. “Not yet, but it will . . .”

InuYasha wrinkled his nose. “No.”

“But—”

“ _Fuck_ no.”

“What about Sango?”

“ _She_ can touch you. _She's_ not a damn pervert.”

Kagome sighed again. “It's going to be a long nine months, isn't it?”

“Keh.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Hisadaicho smiled at the little girl hovering around her lord. Peeking out every now and again from behind Sesshoumaru's legs, the girl seemed like she didn't trust Hisadaicho at all. ` _Perceptive . . . and a nuisance_ . . .'

“What manner of youkai are you?” Hisadaicho asked, drawing the bored stare back to meet hers again.

Sesshoumaru's gaze flicked coolly over her. “Inu youkai.”

Interrupted by a string of servants bearing trays and food, Hisadaicho watched with a little smile as the girl peeked out at her then shifted her gaze longingly to the offered refreshment. The little head tilted back to gaze up at her lord. He caught the look and nodded once. Rin, still careful to remain close to Sesshoumaru, sank down on a cushion and started to eat.

“You are not hungry?” she asked when Sesshoumaru didn't make a move toward the food.

“No.”

Hisadaicho grinned. “It is a shame. My kitchen is quite accomplished. In any case, do you know why someone would kidnap your child?”

Sesshoumaru's gaze narrowed as he stared at her. “Since your men killed the ones who took her, then no, I know not.”

“It's a pity . . . stealing a child is a vile thing.”

Sesshoumaru glanced at Rin before he nodded. “There are worse deceptions.”

She lifted her eyebrows in silent challenge. “You trust no one. Must be lonely.”

“I _need_ no one.”

“Everyone needs somebody. A child and an imp? Are they your sole companions?”

“This Sesshoumaru has no need for anyone.”

“Is that so?”

Sesshoumaru didn't answer. Careful to keep himself between Rin and anyone who would come closer, the tai-youkai exuded an air of quiet danger, of unspoken power. Hisadaicho smiled to herself. What was it about power that so intrigued her? ` _Sesshoumaru . . . you fascinate me_.'

“I trust you'll accept my offer of hospitality for the night? Your girl child looks exhausted.”

Sesshoumaru glanced down at Rin. Finished eating and dozing off where she sat, Sesshoumaru slowly shifted his gaze back to meet Hisadaicho's. “For her sake,” he agreed.

“I shall have one of my servants show you to a chamber then. I'll assume you will stay with her, for her own protection?”

Sesshoumaru didn't answer as he touched Rin's shoulder. Her eyes flew open, and she smiled at her lord. Implicit trust, unwavering belief . . . Hisadaicho smiled again as she beckoned a servant. “Will you show Sesshoumaru-sama and his child to a guest chamber?”

The servant girl bowed and hurried from the room. Sesshoumaru and Rin followed with the imp Jaken trailing long behind.

Hisadaicho sighed. As much as she would love to rush her plan, timing was everything, and as cautious as Sesshoumaru was, she didn't dare make her move . . . yet.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“I'm surprised you didn't go with Kagome.”

Glancing down from his perch high in Goshinboku's branches, InuYasha snorted as Sango gazed up at him. “What for? She's with her mother.”

Sango shrugged. “If you'd just tell her how you feel, you'd save yourself a lot of frustration.”

Feeling his cheek warm at the exterminator's softly uttered observation, InuYasha stubbornly shook his head. “Keh. Dunno what you're talking about.”

“It amazes me, what she's doing for us. I know it was a huge decision for her to have made, especially knowing you wouldn't particularly like it.”

“It don't matter, what I'd like. Kagome would have chosen it, either way.”

Sango frowned and sat down under the tree. “What's really bothering you? Kagome said that her mother explained everything to you, and I'm sure that Kagome, herself, told you that she had to convince Miroku . . .”

InuYasha sighed and dropped out of the tree beside Sango. “All of it. It's all . . . fucked up. She shouldn't be carrying Miroku's pup.”

Sango nodded slowly, staring at the freshly turned earth of her garden. “You're right. She shouldn't, but she is. A small part of me is a little jealous. I should be the one to do that, but . . . I can't, and mostly I'm just grateful to have someone as giving as Kagome is.” Her gaze shifted back to him, and she frowned. “InuYasha . . . what happened to the kotodama rosary?”

  
Wrinkling his nose as he tried to figure out a way not to admit to what he'd done but finding none, he snorted and said, ”I, uh . . . called her . . . a whore . . . and she took them back.”

Sango winced and shook her head. “Oh . . . But they didn't— _she_ didn't—-they weren't—-”

“I know that . . . I _knew_ that. I couldn't smell him on her, I just smelled the pup, and . . . but . . .”

“Would it mean anything if I said that she missed you terribly while you were gone? She came back almost every day, at least for awhile, and she'd sit here, under Goshinboku and stare up at the branches, like she was seeing you there . . .”

“I didn't say I was fucking _proud_ of myself, Sango,” he grumbled. “The hell of it is, I understand _why_ she did it, and I understand that she wasn't trying to hurt anyone . . . but that don't mean I like it, because I don't.”

“I'm just grateful to have someone like Kagome . . . and I think you are, too, even if you never come to terms with why she wanted to do this.”

InuYasha stared at Sango and shook his head. ` _Maybe_ ,' he thought with an inward grimace, ` _if Sango can accept this . . . maybe I can, too_ . . .'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Miroku:**  
>  I think he took that rather . . . well . . .


	15. Controversy

 

~~ ** _Chapter 15_** ~~  
~ ** _Controversy_** ~

 

“All right, the coast is clear.”

InuYasha peeked out from behind the tree and spotted Sango and Miroku kneeling by the garden. “Come on, wench. It's now or never.”

“Okay.”

InuYasha grabbed Kagome as she climbed onto his back and leapt forward through the trees.

“Where are you going?” a child's voice rang out behind them.

“Damn it!” InuYasha snarled as he picked up speed. “I'm gonna fucking kill that kitsune yet.”

Kagome sighed and laid her cheek against InuYasha's shoulder. “Well, I guess I can understand their concern.”

“Keh! Hold on. I ain't waiting for them!”

With a wince, Kagome heard Kirara's roar behind them. “They cheated.”

“I could still kill him,” InuYasha offered in a very generous tone.

Kagome giggled. “I think they think you're going to throw me off a cliff.”

“Keh. As if.” InuYasha stopped though and waited for the others to catch up.

“InuYasha!” Sango called out as Kirara closed in on them.

“Going somewhere?” Miroku asked pleasantly.

Kagome shot them a big smile. “Oh, uh, yeah . . . InuYasha thought maybe we could see if Bokuseno knew anything about the jewel.”

“Bokuseno? Who's that?” Ichisaru asked from his perch on Sango's lap.

“Bokuseno is the spirit in an ancient Magnolia tree. Tetsusaiga's sheath was made from him,” Kagome explained.

“Yeah, and he hates monks, women, kitsunes, and monkeys, so we're going alone.”

Shippou frowned. “But Kagome's a woman.”

“Keh! Kagome has the jewel, damn it. She _has_ to go.”

Sango and Miroku exchanged worried glances. Miroku was the one who finally spoke. “Why don't you take Kirara?”

“Yes, Kagome . . . do you think it's a good idea, to have your stomach pressed against InuYasha's back like that?”

Kagome refrained from rolling her eyes. “I'm not even five weeks along, and InuYasha's always careful with me.”

“We'd feel better if you did take Kirara,” Miroku added.

InuYasha cracked his knuckles. “It's not too late to shred you,” he remarked tightly.

“How far is Bokuseno?” Sango asked.

“Well, it's pretty far. Might be gone six months or so,” InuYasha lied. Sango's mouth fell open in shock. Miroku started to say something. InuYasha narrowed his gaze menacingly. “Wanna try for a year?”

“We're just concerned,” Miroku assured InuYasha.

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. Can't you see? She's fine, and she don't need you fussing over her. She ain't gonna break, and you're driving her crazy with your concern. She can't even breathe without you two thinking there's something wrong, so back the fuck off.”

Miroku and Sango exchanged guilty looks. “I'm sorry, Kagome,” Sango said quietly. “I just worry . . . I know you're careful.”

Kagome slid off InuYasha's back to hug her friend. “It's all right. I know you mean well.”

“Can we come?” Ichisaru asked, bouncing up and down in his excitement.

“Hell, no,” InuYasha growled. “We ain't going to be gone that long, anyway, just a day or two.”

Miroku sighed. “Looks like we're outnumbered . . .”

“Don't worry,” Kagome assured them, “I'm always safe when I'm with InuYasha.”

InuYasha grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his back again before heading off into the forest again.

“Thank you,” she said as she settled herself comfortably against him.

“Keh. They give me a headache,” he commented as he tried to brush off her thanks.

She smiled and snuggled against his shoulder.

He smiled, too.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _This is absolutely intolerable_ ,' Hisadaicho mused as she stalked the inner sanctum of her chambers. Lavender eyes flashing as she fought to control her rising temper. ` _Sesshoumaru_ . . .'

She had known it would prove difficult to get under his skin. She had special plans for him . . . It simply frustrated her. Eventually it would all bear fruit, but for now . . .

The child, Rin, had proven useful—more useful than Hisadaicho could have thought possible. Apparently deciding that perhaps Hisadaicho wasn't as intimidating as she had first believed, the girl had spoken during the morning meal.

“ _Do you have any relatives, Sesshoumaru-sama?” Hisadaicho asked_.

  
_Remaining locked in his stoic silence, the tai-youkai said nothing_.

“ _InuYasha-sama is your brother, right, Sesshoumaru-sama?_ ”

  
_Sesshoumaru's gaze was icy as he regarded the girl with a narrow-eyed gaze. “InuYasha is only my father's son_.”

  
_Hisadaicho digested that in curious silence._ `Interesting . . . so there is no love loss between the brothers . . .'

“ _Sesshoumaru-sama . . . are we close to InuYasha-sama and Kagome's village? Can we go see Kagome?_ ”

  
_Sesshoumaru shot the child a quelling glance and ignored her question. “Why do you ask about him?” he demanded as he shifted his gaze back to Hisadaicho_.

  
_Hisadaicho offered him an innocent smile. “Simple curiosity, my lord_.”

  
_He didn't look like he believed her_.

“ _Shouldn't the woman who has part of Kagome's soul give it back? You said it was rude to take something that isn't yours, right, Sesshoumaru-sama?_ ”

  
_To Hisadaicho's surprise, the inu-youkai nodded. “So I did . . . however, Rin, it was her soul, first_.”

  
_Rin looked duly befuddled. “How can that be?_ ”

  
_Sesshoumaru shook his head. “Go ask Jaken_.”

  
_Rin grinned and ran off to locate the imp_.

“ _Another woman holds a part of this girl's soul?” Hisadaicho asked, drawing Sesshoumaru's gaze back to her again_.

  
_Sesshoumaru shrugged slightly. “So it would seem_.”

Snapping out of her musings, Hisadaicho dug her fingernails into her palms. ` _That means the miko's soul is incomplete . . . I cannot accomplish my plans without it . . . However, if the other should die, then the soul will be completed again_ . . .' A small smile surfaced on her face. ` _Troublesome but necessary . . . I must remember to thank that child, Rin for her loose tongue_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“ _Oden_ ,” Kagome sighed wistfully, accompanied by a small, longing whine.

InuYasha rolled his eyes but kept moving.

She suddenly gasped. “InuYasha! I forgot to give Shippou his pocky!”

“Keh. Like he needs it . . . but it might be kind of funny to toss it between him and that ape-shit . . . watch `em battle it out for it. Hell, just dip them both in chocolate and let them eat each other.”

“That's mean . . .” she contradicted. “Maybe I should eat it . . . I don't want them to fight over it . . .”

InuYasha rolled his eyes again. “Will you knock that off? You'll get all fat, then I won't be able to carry you. I'll have to roll you around . . .”

She reached up and flicked his ear. When he twitched it away from her, she giggled and grabbed for it again. “You aren't supposed to make fun of my weight, baka.”

“Then stop talking about food all the time.”

Her answer was a long-suffering sigh. “But I'm hungry,” she complained.

“We just stopped so you could eat _my_ ramen, wench . . . you don't _need_ anything else.”

“That was two hours ago,” she countered, “and it isn't _my_ fault you wouldn't catch something better than _your_ ramen, so don't even go there.”

“There _ain't_ nothing better than _my_ ramen, and I _ain't_ hunting every hour so you can get fat, wench.”

She sighed. “But I'm so _hungry!_ ”

Stopping abruptly, InuYasha let Kagome down and turned around to pin her with an irritated look. “Are you going to eat for the next eight months?”

She shifted on her feet, twisting her fingers together as she shot him her most winning smile. “No . . .”

“Good. Now sit down, get out your pathetic bow and arrows, and wait here . . . got that?”

“Where are you going?”

He rolled his eyes again. “To find something for you to eat,” he growled.

She blinked quickly, as though she had just thought of something. “InuYasha?”

“What?”

“Are you going to kill something?”

“Well, yeah, that was the plan.”

The smell of her tears hit him instantly. “But you can't!' she wailed. “What about their families?”

“Oh, kami . . .” Clenching his hands into tight fists as he struggled to remind himself that he really shouldn't yell at her since she was breeding, he had to wait a minute before he dared open his mouth. “You want I should find you some berries?”

She shook her head as she dug around in her backpack for a kerchief. “No . . . I ate some this morning, and they didn't sit well . . .”

“Kagome, if you're hungry, you need to eat something . . .”

She sniffled and dabbed her eyes. “I'm not that hungry.”

He growled at her subdued tone, which only meant that she was trying to keep him from blowing his stack. “Then eat the runt's pocky.”

“There's not that much nutritional value in those . . .”

“Then eat some fucking grass!” he retorted.

Instant tears once more. “You think I'm a cow!”

“Damn it, I do not!”

“Only cows eat—”

“That's fucking it! You _ever_ even _think_ of carrying a pup for that damn lecher and I'll—”

“Dog-shit, what the hell did you let happen to my Kagome?”

“ _Fan-fucking-tastic_ ,” InuYasha growled as he stomped over to plant himself between Kagome and the uninvited and unwelcome intruder. If he hadn't been so busy trying to placate the wench and her bizarre mood swings, he'd have smelled the bastard a mile away . . . He made a face. ` _Eight more months of mood swings? Keh!_ '

“Move,” Kouga demanded.

“Make me,” InuYasha countered.

“Love to,” Kouga snarled.

“Just keep it up, mangy wolf . . . I've been wanting a reason to shove Tetsusaiga up your ass,” InuYasha threatened as he reached for his sword.

“I'd like to see you try! Tell my why _my_ woman smells like she's carrying a pup.”

“ _No fighting!_ ” Kagome bellowed. Both men turned to stare at the miko, who was now standing on the tree stump where she had been sitting. Face screwed up in an irritated scowl, she glared at both of them. InuYasha couldn't help it when her glower hit him. Ears flattening as he waited for her tirade, Kouga—the bastard—laughed—until that formidable glare hit him full-on, too. “There will be no fighting, no name calling, and no Tetsusaiga shoving! Do you hear me? InuYasha? Kouga?” she demanded, stomping her foot for added emphasis.

“Look what the hell you did, bastard! Not that it's any of your business, but she's carrying a pup for Sango, because she can't. Now back the fuck off before I have to shove Tetsusaiga anyway!”

InuYasha's frown darkened as the anger in Kouga's expression slowly faded, leaving behind only a strange admiration on his ugly mug. “Kagome . . . you'd do that for your pack?”

“I'd do that for my friends,” she corrected as she leaned on InuYasha's shoulder to hop down from her pedestal.

InuYasha was caught off-guard as Kouga shoved him aside, grabbing Kagome's hands in his as he stared into her eyes. To InuYasha's utter amazement, the stupid wolf looked even more in love with her than normal, and that alone was enough to draw a vicious growl from the hanyou. “I always knew you were the woman for me,” Kouga assured her, “but now . . . Kagome, I can't believe the lengths you'd go to for those you love. As soon as this pup's born, I'll be back to claim you.”

“The hell you will, damn it!” InuYasha snarled, shoving Kouga away from Kagome. She stumbled. He caught her and shoved her behind his back. “She ain't going anywhere with you, ever!”

“And when I come for you, Kagome, I'll rid the world of this stupid baka, too.”

Kagome opened her mouth to argue that. InuYasha poked a finger under her nose. “Not a word, wench.” Turning back to stalk toward Kouga, InuYasha cracked his knuckles. “You can't have her. She don't want you, or are you just too fucking stupid to see that? Don't you think that if she did, she'd have gone with you long before now? Get lost, Kouga, before I do decide to gut you!”

“She hasn't gone with me because you won't let her, dog-shit! Now get out of my way. I've changed my mind. I'll be taking her with me now. We'll drop off the pup after it's born.”

“I'm not going anywhere!” Kagome yelled then sighed just before she burst into tears all over again.

“Look what you did!” two male voices hollered at each other.

“I didn't do that, you did!” InuYasha growled.

“The hell I did!” Kouga retorted. “You're the unbalanced baka that keeps telling her what she can and can't do!”

“I don't tell her what she can and can't do or she wouldn't be fucking carrying that damn lecher's pup!” InuYasha shot back.

“How did she end up breeding? She hasn't been claimed, or I'd smell it,” Kouga asked suddenly, forgetting for the moment that he was arguing with InuYasha.

“Keh! Does it matter?”

Kouga must have decided that it really didn't because his glower returned as he squared his shoulders and cracked his knuckles, too. “All right, mutt-face. Let's do this.”

“'Bout time,” InuYasha replied.

“No!” Kagome insisted as she darted out from behind InuYasha and plastered her back against his chest, pushing him away.

Kouga sighed and stepped away. “All right, Kagome . . . since even I know it isn't good for you to be so upset . . . give me a kiss and I'll go.”

“ _Fuck_ , no,” InuYasha snarled, wrapping his arm around Kagome's waist protectively.

“Oi! Hands off my woman!”

“InuYasha!” Kagome gasped since his arm was tightening around her. He instantly loosened his grip but didn't let go completely.

“Don't even think it, bitch. Keep your damn lips off him or I'll remove his and shove them—-”

“I'm not going to,” she assured him before turning back toward Kouga. “You'd better go,” she told him sweetly.

Kouga shook his head slowly. “All right, Kagome. I'll be back as soon as you've whelped that pup.”

“And she won't be going anywhere with you then, either, bastard!” InuYasha pointed out. “Get it through your thick head, will you?”

Kouga stepped forward. InuYasha retreated, dragging Kagome with him and growling loud enough for the wolf youkai to hear. With a defeated sigh, Kouga waved to Kagome and ran off into the forest again.

“We've got to talk about your propensity for shoving things up people's—”

“Keh!” InuYasha snorted as he let go of her. He had thought that Kouga would have backed off the second he figured out Kagome was carrying Miroku's pup. Something about Kagome's tone when she'd asked Kouga to leave bothered him. Ears drooping slightly, he snuck a peek at her as she knelt beside her huge backpack and dug out a box of pocky. “Kagome?”

“Hmm?” she asked, preoccupied as she tore the box open and pulled out the treats.

“If I hadn't stopped you . . . would you have kissed him?”

She blinked in surprise and finally looked up at him. “What? Of course not! Don't be silly.”

For some reason, her answer didn't convince him. A sudden inspiration hit him, and InuYasha sighed. “You owe me a favor,” he stated.

“Okay,” she agreed as she nibbled on a pocky stick.

“No kissing . . . no kissing that mangy wolf, no kissing that Houjou-thing . . . no kissing _anyone_ , at all.”

Kagome looked surprised at his favor and a little sad. He didn't even want to consider why that would be as he waited for her answer. “ . . . All right,” she promised. “No kissing.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kouga:**  
>  My Kagome has such a big heart! I'll claim her soon . . .


	16. Bittersweet Dreams

 

~~ ** _Chapter 16_** ~~  
~ ** _Bittersweet Dreams_** ~

 

“So you seek my council, InuYasha?”

InuYasha nodded as he sat before the ancient magnolia tree, legs crossed, arms folded together, with Tetsusaiga lying on the ground before him. “Do you know anything about the Shikon no Tama?”

“The Shikon no Tama . . . I've heard of this jewel . . . born of the merging of the souls of a powerful priestess with countless youkai, correct?”

“Yes,” Kagome supplied. Sitting on her knees beside the hanyou, she waited for Bokuseno to speak again.

Bokuseno frowned as he thought about the question posed. Thoughtful, deliberate, the wise old tree's gnarled old face blended into the bark with a subtleness that many could not discern. “I've heard that the jewel is, in and of itself, an impure artifact. You have not been able to purify it, I see . . .”

“No . . .” Kagome confessed.

“Perhaps the purification you seek isn't to be found in the wishes of man. Perhaps this is something that must be done in an act of purity instead. The human heart comprises many emotions. To attain that level of purity is not within any human heart.”

InuYasha shook his head. “You're saying it can't be done?

“I didn't say that, InuYasha . . .” Bokuseno suddenly rumbled a low chuckle. The sway of his branches created a soothing sound, a gentle comfort. “You remind me of your father, young one. He was all things: calm and calculated, like your brother, yet given to impulsive anger, impetuous action, much like you. Let us hope that you, like him, learn to curb your overzealous reactions.”

“Keh.”

Kagome smiled at the slight flush that broke over InuYasha's features. “Did you know him well?”

“As well as any other being could . . . other than, perhaps, your mother, InuYasha. I knew that there was something different about her. She quelled his anger, soothed his soul. That was the reason he created Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga. He wished that she would always be protected.”

“About the jewel, Bokuseno . . . I ain't got time to stroll down memory lane, if you don't mind.” He ignored the frown Kagome shot him.

Bokuseno sighed. “I've heard whispers of rumors on the winds that have filtered through my branches, InuYasha. They say that an evil has come, that this evil seeks to find the jewel . . . and to create something far more sinister than you can possibly imagine.”

“There's nothing more sinister than the jewel in the wrong hands,” InuYasha argued.

Bokuseno considered InuYasha's claim. “Don't be so sure, young one. There is always something more terrifying than what you have thus seen.”

InuYasha stood up, using Tetsusaiga to push himself to his feet. “Come on, Kagome. This bit of glorified firewood speaks in riddles.”

“Thank you,” Kagome said as she bowed to the old magnolia tree.

“You're welcome.”

Kagome walked away. InuYasha turned to follow.

“InuYasha, a warning.”

He stopped and turned back to face the old tree. “What?”

“She has the same tempering spirit as your mother.”

“And that's a warning?” InuYasha scoffed.

“No . . . but you need to be aware. If you fail to believe in her, you will lose her. Trust not what your eyes tell you. Believe what her soul says to you, or all will be lost.”

InuYasha's eyebrows drew together in a marked frown. “What are you saying?”

Bokuseno closed his eyes. “Tired . . . so tired . . . Sleep well in my forest, son of the Inu no Taisho . . . my brethren will keep you safe.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha leaned against the tree staring over Kagome's sleeping form at the undulating flames of the burning campfire. Frowning as he pondered Bokuseno's warning, he sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He wasn't physically tired so much as he was mentally exhausted, trying to make sense out of the strange warning, the words of unwanted advice.

Kagome sighed softly in her sleep as she rolled over onto her side. The fire lent her smooth skin a warm glow, a honeyed hue. He smiled just a little then frowned. ` _Believe what her soul says to you_ . . .'

` _Keh. If people would just speak to me instead of having to twist my head inside out with their fucking riddles, everything would be a hella lot easier_.'

Letting his head fall back against the thick tree, InuYasha closed his eyes. Something about this forest . . . ` _Just for a moment_ ,' he thought as the edges of sleep wrapped over his mind.

“ _InuYasha . . . ? InuYasha? Where are you?_ ”

“ _Kagome? I'm here . . . right here_ . . .”

“ _I can't see you . . . don't leave me_ . . .”

“ _Never! Kagome_ . . .”

  
_Running through the consuming blackness, following her scent, the sound of her voice . . . He had to find her. He had to touch her_ _. . . Stumbling forward, reaching for her, she hovered just out of sight, just beyond his grasp_.

“ _InuYasha . . . I'm scared_ . . .”

  
_Stopping abruptly, he gasped as she appeared before him. The scent of her tears dragged at him. When she saw him, she threw herself against him, burrowing her head into the crook of his neck. Reaching up to hold her, InuYasha pulled her close. “It's all right . . . you don't have to be scared_.”

“ _I'm not scared when I'm with you_.”

“ _Kagome_ . . .”

  
_Lifting her head, staring into his eyes, the depths of her gaze igniting in a smoldering burn, Kagome stroked his cheeks with gentle fingers, pushed herself onto her toes as she pulled his head down to meet hers. A sharp breath as their lips connected, an explosion of desire so strong, so overwhelming that he whined softly against her. Kagome's mouth opened, her tongue seeking his, devouring him with a fierce need. “InuYasha . . . do you want me?” she asked as she leaned away, as she lifted his hand, as she pressed his fingers against her breast_.

“ _I . . . kami,” he rasped out as her nipple puckered under his touch despite the clothes that separated her body and his hand_.

  
_Her eyes were half-closed, tinged with passion that burned him. Surrendering to his touch, her moans were throaty yet soothing, punctuated by his own ragged breathing. Her hands roamed over his skin, pushing aside the clothes that offended her. Kneading his flesh, touching him, teasing him as she pressed wet, open-mouthed kisses against his neck, Kagome broke him down, left him aching, needing, yearning. “Mine_ . . .”

“ _Yours_ . . .”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _Something . . . nice_ . . .' Kagome thought as she smiled in her sleep. Emerging from the layers of slumber as something insistent tugged at her, she couldn't think. ` _Tickles . . . me_ . . .'

Warm, ragged breathing fanned over her cheek, over her ear. Sleep dissipated only to be replaced by incoherent thought, the gentle press of the softest lips, brushing over hers as her body trembled. Held against the rigid strength that burned against her, she couldn't think, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't remember anything at all.

Trapped in a vortex of pure sensation as she struggled to understand what was happening, she gave up quickly enough. Impossible to fight, unfeasible to ignore, comprehension was an abstract idea, a fleeting fancy that she couldn't grasp.

Vaguely realizing as fangs grazed over her, she gasped at the complete devastation to her senses. Longing wrapped around her as her body melted in a frazzle of repressed nerves, she sighed when a soft growl rumbled from him, soothing her and unsettling her at the same time.

The burn against her breast didn't make sense. A gentle squeeze as she arched against his touch that drew another growl in reply. Too much sensation, too many feelings, a convergence of heat shocked her as an inferno raged out of control. “Inu . . . Yasha . . .” she whispered.

His answer was a moan.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

`I'd die without her,' _he thought wildly, senses spinning away from him. Thought gave way to the unfurling of heat, the absolute need that ached so desperately. The last semblance of self-control shattered as he dragged her closer, pressed himself against her. Stoking the fire of escalating desire, passion shifted into something more primitive, more commanding, more controlling, and far more frightening_.

  
_Her hands pressed against him through the confines of his clothing. Her touch set off a painful swelling, a voracious hunger that bordered on pain. Needing to stop her yet unable to pull away, the feel of her hands erupted in a primordial flame. Her body wrapped around his, the scent of her desire was an intoxication on his senses. She defied every convention, scattered his emotions with an explosion of light, an angel in the darkness, a star in the midnight sky_ . . .

  
_The whisper of movement, the intrusion of another registered in his mind. If he could think, he'd know the presence. He couldn't comprehend anything but the touch of Kagome's hands on his body_ . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Lost in a world where time didn't matter, carried along by a stronger will, Kagome traced the contours of his face as she gave up to the raging feel, the total acceptance. The world melted away from her as his mouth teased the flesh of her ear, of her neck. Ardent sensation coupled with the annihilation of reason left behind a giddy lethargy, as though she couldn't fight what was inevitable.

An unrequited ache twisted in her like a knot growing tighter and harder, more insistent, harder to fathom. A centrifugal pressure that demanded attention, she did the only thing she knew to do. Pressing against him, lifting her hips, she was rewarded with a throaty growl, a returning pressure as he sought to soothe her. Unleashing emotion so unnerving, so inebriating that she couldn't help the cry that escaped her, InuYasha nipped at her neck as tremors racked her body.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“ _InuYasha_ . . .”

“ _Hush,” he growled, unwilling to let go of the incoherence that blurred his thoughts_.

“ _Listen to me, InuYasha_ . . .”

_Nipping Kagome's neck to silence her, he realized a moment too late that the voice speaking to him wasn't hers at all. “Wha_ _—_ _?_ ”

“ _Open your eyes, InuYasha_ . . .”

“ . . . _No_ . . .”

“ _But you must_.”

_Squeezing his eyes closed tighter, concentrating on Kagome's hands, he tried in vain to ignore the voice_.

“ _Open your eyes or you'll be lost_.”

`Lost?' _InuYasha thought with a shake of his head_. `Lost . . . with Kagome . . . Yes . . .'

“ _InuYasha!_ ”

_With a frustrated growl, he realized at last. That voice_ . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“K . . . Kikyou . . .”

Kagome stiffened at the mention of that name. Eyes flashing open as a painful flush rushed over her, she pushed InuYasha aside and scrambled to her unsteady feet as tears stung her nose, blocked her throat. ` _Oh, kami . . . what have I done?_ '

InuYasha sat up slowly, shaking his head as though he were trying to clear his mind. Lifting his gaze to look at her, Kagome choked back a sob, refusing to let him see what he'd done to her. “Kagome? What . . . ? What happened?”

“You . . . you don't know?”

Ears flattening as he straightened his haori with a shaking hand, he glared at the fire and snorted, “Keh! If I knew, I wouldn't be asking.”

She narrowed her incredulous gaze on him. “You're lying,” she said quietly.

Moving so fast he was more of a blur of crimson, InuYasha shot to his feet and leapt into the tree above them. “Go to sleep, Kagome. We're leaving at dawn.”

It took a few more minutes before Kagome could make herself move. When she did, she wrapped herself tightly in her blankets and covered her head before she let the tears come. ` _Kikyou? All that, and . . . and he was dreaming about Kikyou? Stupid Kagome . . . stupid, stupid, stupid!_ '

She had started to believe that maybe, just maybe . . . ` _Baka! He'll never forget Kikyou! He'll never get over her! You know that, and yet_ . . .' And yet the wealth of emotions, the tide of feelings inspired by his touch, his kisses wouldn't let her go, either. A new ache welled up in her heart, spilled over into her soul, threatened to engulf her in a sadness so vast, so unyielding, that she'd drown in it if she couldn't get away.

` _How could he do that to me?_ ' she railed. Her anger was tempered by hurt, and that hurt made her whimper softly. Worse was the knowledge, the unbearable understanding that if he hadn't said Kikyou's name, she would have let him do what he wanted to her.

All she wanted—all she'd _ever_ wanted—was InuYasha, just InuYasha. With a sick feeling in her stomach, she shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself. Somehow she felt responsible, as though it really was her fault that she had been born after Kikyou, as though the things she did for InuYasha meant nothing, and that maybe, in the end, there really wasn't a reason or an answer, and that maybe the end result would be the same.

She cried herself to sleep, hidden in the folds of her blankets.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha winced and gripped the branch where he sat. Every instinct inside him, every single part of his heart and soul demanded that he go down there and tell Kagome about his dream, tell her that he had been dreaming about her, after all. If nothing else, he wanted to make her realize that he wasn't thinking about Kikyou. He couldn't stand to hear her cry, couldn't bear to smell her tears, wanted to die a little, knowing that he was the reason for her upset.

He didn't dare. To tell her, to admit it to her . . . Why did he feel as though it would increase the danger he'd already sensed?

` _Kagome_ . . .'

The feel of her, in his arms, under him, accepting him . . . it hurt. Everything within him was screaming out to her, as though the space that separated them was enough to kill him, little by little.

Did she understand what had happened? Did she understand the encompassing repercussions if they hadn't been stopped? Torn between the need that still burned through him, haunted by the pain in Kagome's eyes, unable to make sense of things that shouldn't have happened, he whined softly as the overwhelming scent of her tears gnawed at him.

Grinding his teeth together as he fought against the instinctive need to comfort her, he realized with a pained grimace something that he'd feared from the beginning. ` _My youkai . . . it knows . . . she's my . . . mate . . . ? Kami_ . . .' With a low growl, he tried to deny it, tried to convince himself that it couldn't be true. ` _It can't be . . . I can't hurt her . . . Kagome . . ._ '

And yet somewhere in his heart, he knew it was true. From the beginning she had saved him, and he . . . He winced. He'd caused her nothing but pain. The hurt she couldn't hide from him, the wearing in her heart that tore him to pieces, all because he'd said the wrong name. “Damn it!” he muttered as he cursed himself time and again. How could he ever make her understand?

A fresh wave of Kagome's tears hit him hard. ` _She deserves better than a half-breed, better than me_ . . .' So why did the idea of her belonging to someone else make him want to shred every living thing that ever came near her? Goaded deeper into his silent torture by the scent of her sorrow, unable to dig himself out of his pit of self-loathing, tormented by sighs and murmurs, of whispers in the darkness, he wasn't sure what had come over him. All he knew was that dream or not, Kagome had wanted him too. Her scent clung to him, the smell of her innocent desire an odd paradox against the salt of her tears. ` _What have I done? How can I . . . fix this?_ '

` _She would have let you . . . until you said Kikyou's name. Kagome would have let you_ . . .'

Wincing at his own thoughts, InuYasha couldn't stand the all-consuming guilt of what his unconscious had wrought. Hard enough to control his impulses when was awake. How was he supposed to do it when he slept? The dreams kept growing bolder and more tempestuous. How could he guard against that which he had no control over? ` _No better than a fucking beast_ ,' he growled in his head, ` _you'd have rutted her and then what? Left her mated to you without her consent because you know that she'd never choose you, if she were given the choice_. _Nearly took that choice away from her, and that, you bastard, is unforgivable_.'

Digging his claws into the branch even deeper, he stifled the whine that rose in his throat as his ears pressed down against his skull. He just wished that he could take that back. ` _Why did Kikyou show up in my dream? That's never happened before._ ' He really wasn't sure what to think. Between the erotic dreams of Kagome and Kikyou's sudden appearance during one of them, he felt as though he were being torn apart at the seams.

Unable to stand the scent of her upset any longer, InuYasha dropped quietly out of the tree. “Kagome?”

She didn't answer.

With a wince, he gently pulled back the covers, stared at her sleeping face. Tenderly pushing the silky soft strands out of her face, InuYasha sighed. ` _I've got to protect you first, Kagome . . . and maybe, after I know you're safe_ . . .'

Leaning down, brushing a kiss over her cheek, InuYasha closed his eyes so he could hear her soul speak to his.

“I wish . . . I wish I deserved you,” he whispered, stroking her hair. ` _Maybe if . . . if I can keep you safe . . . maybe I won't be such a worthless half-breed_ . . .'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  What was that????


	17. Descent into Madness

 

~~ ** _Chapter 17_** ~~  
~ ** _Descent into Madness_** ~

 

InuYasha sat high in Goshinboku, staring down at the obviously pregnant Kagome as she knelt beside the garden with her nose buried in a book. Sango sat beside her with her hand plastered against Kagome's stomach. Every so often, the exterminator laughed when the pup in her friend's belly moved.

InuYasha's ears flattened just a little as he stifled a sigh.

Nearing six months into her pregnancy, the girl seemed happy and healthy, and the pup was, too, or so she claimed from her doctor visits in her own time. Still . . .

As if she could feel his gaze on her, Kagome glanced up and smiled. He winced inside as the overwhelming urge to hop down and sweep her up assailed him. Though she still smiled for him, laughed at him when he tried hard enough to get her to do it, there was an odd sort of distance between them that he couldn't even begin to breech. Because of that night in Bokuseno's forest, because of what he'd so stupidly said . . . InuYasha sighed. It didn't help when he told himself that it was better this way, that Kagome had to be safe, even if that meant that she kept him at bay. It didn't help at all.

It also didn't help that those damn dreams were nearly killing him. Well past anything that he could have ever thought up on his own, there was something completely haunting about them, something unnatural, and since they came to him every time he dared close his eyes, he knew what they were doing to him. More than once he'd woken up in a state of compete and total humiliation. In those dreams, Kagome had done things to him that, well, to be honest, that he hadn't realized could or should ever be done . . . He counted himself lucky that no one else had figured out as much . . . yet. He also knew that if something didn't give soon, he was going to end up insane. The dreams were too real, too vivid, too startling, and as much as he hated them, a small part of him . . . he winced. A small part of him loved them, too.

` _Disgusting, dirty, filthy, tainted half-breed_ ,' his mind hissed as his face reddened. ` _To defile the wench in your mind is as bad as doing it for real_ . . .'

Movement below caught his attention. Now not only Sango's hand was plastered to Kagome's distended belly, but both the runt-fox as well as the ape-shit's were, too. Hell, the only one missing was—

“Is it moving?”

Kagome sighed and smiled at Miroku. From where InuYasha sat, he could see the tension tight around the girl's eyes, and he growled.

“A little . . .”

Miroku glanced around, as if he were looking for something . . . or someone. Apparently satisfied that he was safe enough, he hunkered down and placed a hand against Kagome's belly, too.

The growl erupted into a snarl as InuYasha dropped from the tree, grabbed Kagome despite her protests and returned to the peace of the branches. “I warned you, Miroku . . . hands fucking off!”

“InuYasha, bring her back down!” Sango hollered, her voice cracking in her concern for both Kagome as well as her baby.

“I won't touch her again, I promise,” Miroku called up. “Just bring her back down before she gets hurt!”

“Fucking hell, monk! I ain't gonna hurt her but I damn well might hurt you! I told you to keep your perverted hands off her, didn't I?”

“InuYasha!” Kagome hollered as he let go of her and dropped back to the ground. “Let me _down!_ ”

“And you shut up!” he growled back at Kagome. “Every time you open your fucking mouth, you're sticking something in it that don't belong there!”

Unleashing a very un-Kagome-eque growl, she glared at the hanyou. “Are you saying I'm getting fat?”

“Hell—” he began, face reddening as he tried in vain to subdue his temper.

“ _Let me down, baka!_ ”

“ _No!_ ”

“Oh, I'm going to throw up,” she complained as she hung onto the branch with one hand, the other wrapped over her stomach as she stared down at the ground. “I didn't get morning sickness, and you'd make me get sick now? This isn't funny, InuYasha!”

Sango whispered to Kirara. The fire cat transformed and leapt off the ground to retrieve Kagome from her treetop perch.

InuYasha stalked toward Miroku again, cracking his knuckles as he glowered at the ex-monk.

“Kagome, are you all right? Do you need anything? Maybe you ought to sit down,” Sango fretted as the miko slid off Kirara's back.

“I'm fine,” Kagome insisted as she brushed Sango's hands away and stomped over to the hanyou, barring his path as he stopped his advance on Miroku. “Get a grip, InuYasha! You're being entirely unreasonable.”

“I'm being plenty reasonable, bitch, now get the fuck outta my way.”

“No! This is his baby, and he should get to feel it move!”

“It might be _his_ fucking pup but it's in _my_ fucking bitch, _and I said no!_ ”

Kagome's mouth dropped open in shock just before indignant color rushed to the surface, irate fire igniting in her eyes as she snapped her jaw closed and drew a deep breath. “I am not your . . . You baka! I don't _belong_ to you! You don't even want _me!_ _Why do you have to be such a baka?_ ”

InuYasha recoiled as Kagome wheeled around on her heel and sped off toward the meadow . . . toward the Bone Eater's Well.

Feeling the incredulous stares of everyone in the clearing, InuYasha fought the blush that rose in his skin before straightening his back and stomping off after Kagome.

Sango turned a confused look on her husband. “What was that all about?”

Miroku rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I don't know . . . it did seem a bit strange, I agree.”

“Come to think of it, they've both been acting a little unusual lately . . .”

Shippou sighed and plopped down to spin his kitsune top in the dirt. “InuYasha smelled weird the other morning.”

“Yeah,” Ichisaru agreed as he snatched the toy. “He did.”

“What do you mean, `weird'?” Miroku questioned as he watched the two youkai children.

Shippou shrugged. “I don't know . . . just strange, like . . . like my mother did sometimes, and like my father did a few times after Mother died. Mother smelled like that a lot, right after I asked for a brother . . .”

Sango shook her head in confusion as Miroku's troubled stare suddenly brightened with an odd understanding. “Oh . . .”

“What is it?” Sango asked.

Miroku cleared his throat and nodded his head at the youngsters. “I think maybe I ought to talk to InuYasha after he calms down . . . before he does anything . . . permanent . . .”

Sango didn't look like she quite grasped Miroku's meaning. The ex-monk reached over and patted Sango's flat stomach, raising an eyebrow at his wife. “Since he already seems to think of Kagome as ` _his'_ . . . .”

Sango's mouth opened into a wide `oh' as she blushed. “All right . . . yes . . . maybe you should . . .”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“InuYasha . . .”

Gritting his teeth as the monk's voice stopped him before he hopped into the well, InuYasha growled and glanced over his shoulder to regard his rapid approach. The last person he wanted to talk to was Miroku, and if the monk had any brains at all, he'd know that . . . “What do you want?”

“I know this whole situation hasn't been the best for you, and I know you blame me for it. That's fine. Something you said, though . . . InuYasha, is there something you need to talk about?”

“Fuck, no. Leave me the hell alone, lecher.”

“Can I ask you something?”

The look InuYasha shot him was menacing at best, outright ready to attack at worst. “Depends. If it has something to do with you and your fucking hands anywhere near Kagome, you can—”

“When did you start thinking of Kagome as `yours'? I'm not arguing your claim. I think it's about time you admitted your feeings. Just . . . when? That's the second time you've said it, that I know of . . .”

To Miroku's surprise, InuYasha's ears flattened as he knelt down beside the well and rested his chin on his raised hands. “I don't know.”

“Shippou said . . . something . . .”

“Keh. What?”

Miroku sat down beside the hanyou, careful to remain out of easy reach of his volatile temper. “He said you've been smelling . . . strange . . . in the mornings . . . May I inquire as to what, exactly, Shippou meant by this?”

Face flaming to match the shade of his haori, InuYasha just sighed and shook his head. “I don't know that, either.”

Miroku digested that in silence as he tried to figure out a good way to pose his next question. There wasn't one. He grimaced. He'd be pushing his luck if he asked, and yet, for some reason, he had to know . . . “InuYasha . . . what is the strange smell?”

InuYasha flinched—a reaction that surprised Miroku. He'd seen his share of reactions from the hanyou. Flinching . . . well, unless it involved a certain miko's temper directed at said hanyou . . . it wasn't one that Miroku saw often. “If you laugh at me or make a joke out of this, I swear on my mother's grave, I'll gut you,” he began.

Miroku nodded quickly. “Understood. I swear.”

InuYasha sighed as he turned away from the well and folded his arms together, studiously avoiding Miroku's gaze. “I have these . . . dreams or visions or . . . something. They won't stop . . . they won't go away, and they . . . They get worse.”

“What do you mean, visions?” Miroku asked with a thoughtful frown.

With a shrug, InuYasha shook his head slowly. “Every night, if I sleep . . . Kagome does these things . . . but it isn't really her . . . _she_ wouldn't . . . Damn it.”

“What sort of things?”

InuYasha's flush darkened even more. “Things she . . . things I . . . Just _things_ , monk, _things!_ ”

“I'm sorry, InuYasha . . . I'm not really understanding what sort of things you're talking about.”

“Things I didn't know you could do!” he snapped then made a face. “Things Kagome wouldn't really ever _want_ to do . . . not with me.”

“You're talking about . . . sexual things?”

InuYasha jerked his head in agreement as he glared at the ground before him.

Miroku carefully let out his breath as he struggled to keep from smiling like an idiot. “Well, that happens to the best of us, InuYasha . . . there's nothing wrong with having a vivid imagination.”

“Keh! That's not it, you damn hentai! I'm talking about _all_ night, _every_ night, not just once in awhile!” Reigning in his irritation far better than Miroku could have thought possible, InuYasha heaved another sigh as his scowl darkened. “You don't get it, do you? She does things . . . I do things . . . I _let_ her do things that . . . it's wrong.”

Miroku crossed his arms together over his chest as he stared hard at the hanyou. “Every night? What do you mean, wrong?”

Suddenly shifting a suspicious glare on Miroku, InuYasha narrowed his eyes. “Forget it. I've told you enough . . . more than I should have.”

“No, InuYasha, really . . . are you saying that the Kagome in your dreams does things that strike you as being immoral?”

“ _Yes_ ,” InuYasha said in an exhalation of breath, as though that was exactly what he had been trying to say.

“Things like what?” he asked slowly.

Visions of Kagome, of her mouth drawing him in, flashed through his mind despite his resolve not to think about those dreams. He shook his head quickly to dispel the images. “Just things.” Raising his gaze to look with Miroku's again, InuYasha's frown deepened. “I feel like . . . like I'm doing something wrong to her just having those dreams.”

“You feel guilty about your dreams, you mean.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you enjoy them?”

A very distinct growl was more than enough answer, as far as InuYasha was concerned.

“And that makes you feel even guiltier.”

“Keh.”

Miroku winced in sympathy. “These dreams . . . they don't seem natural, you're right. Every night? And I take it that the `smell' Shippou was talking about is . . . the physical result of those dreams.”

Flaming red, InuYasha nodded curtly.

“Have you been bewitched?”

“Keh! Of course not!” InuYasha scoffed then blinked. “I don't think so, anyway . . .”

“When did you start having them?”

InuYasha pondered that question. With a scowl as he remembered that night when, in his human form, he hadn't been able to cope with the dream that was no more than a very long, very wet kiss, he sighed. “Just before Kagome thought it'd be a great idea to carry your pup, I guess.”

Miroku nodded. “InuYasha, when you were away, did anything strange happen to you?”

InuYasha shook his head. “Not that I remember.”

“But something had to cause you to have these dreams, right?”

InuYasha sighed and rubbed his temple with slightly shaking fingers. “I don't know.”

Miroku shook his head, too. “It has to be something, InuYasha. Could it be your subconscious that desires what your dreams show you?”

“It could be anything, damn it. I can't . . . Kagome deserves better.”

“So you say. Do you think Kagome really feels that way?”

InuYasha didn't answer. In his heart, he didn't know what to think about that. Kagome always seemed so open to him, as though she truly did accept him, and up until that night when he'd so stupidly said the wrong name out loud . . . But since that night . . . He missed her more than he ever thought possible, more than he ever wanted to admit.

Pushing himself to his feet, InuYasha sighed as he turned toward the well.

“InuYasha, one more thing . . . I understand that you've had trouble with the idea that Kagome would carry Sango and my child, and I'm sorry for that. Be as angry at me as you wish . . . but Kagome . . . she doesn't deserve that.”

InuYasha nodded once. “I'm not mad at anyone anymore . . . anger ain't got a thing to do with it.”

Miroku stood up and sighed. “Then why the distance between you two? I've noticed, and Sango has, too . . .”

InuYasha couldn't admit to the reason for that. “It's nothing. You're imagining things.”

Miroku nodded slowly. “All right. Just . . . when you go to her . . . maybe you ought to tell her how you feel. Stop avoiding it. If you think she's yours, then let her know that.”

InuYasha didn't answer that as he hopped up on the side of the well. Shooting one last glance at the monk, he sighed before he dropped over the edge.

` _Why did I tell that lecher everything?_ ' he asked himself with a snort.

` _Because you're going crazy trying to make sense of it all by yourself, and you can't tell Kagome_ . . .'

The light of the time slip wrapped around him, and InuYasha sighed again. That had to be the reason. Just tired of trying to figure out anything from something that made no sense, and as angry as he had been at Miroku, he had to admit, too, that the monk really did listen well, and really did have a compassionate spirit. ` _Maybe if anyone can figure it out, maybe Miroku can_.'

InuYasha made a face. ` _Compassion or not, he still ain't laying a fucking finger on Kagome_ . . .'

Still . . . those dreams . . . InuYasha deliberately shoved the invading thoughts aside. Bad enough to deal with the new surprises every dream brought on. The last thing he needed when facing her was the all-too-real images invading his mind.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome grabbed her coat off the rack and stuck her head into the kitchen. “Mama, I'm going to go pick up a few things,” she said.

Mrs. Higurashi glanced up from the newspaper and nodded. “All right, dear. Be careful.”

Kagome grinned and hurried outside before her smile faded. Trying not to think about InuYasha or his latest show of outrageous behavior, Kagome ran down the steps and onto the sidewalk.

` _InuYasha . . . why does he have to be so . . . so . . . so impossible? One minute he acts like he can't stand to be around me, the next he's saying I'm his . . . wench_.' Screwing up her face in a show of impotent irritation, Kagome pulled on her jacket as she hurried down the street toward the small grocery where she normally bought the things her friends loved.

Grabbing things off the shelf without really paying attention, Kagome sighed. There had been a few times lately, when InuYasha had stared at her in a way that she didn't want to understand. As though she feared her own real feelings, she forced herself to look away those times, forced herself to discount his interest. Try as she might, the sound of InuYasha's voice rasping out Kikyou's name . . . ` _Kami . . . it still hurts_ . . .'

“Kagome! How are you?”

Blinking in surprise as she turned her head to see Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi heading toward her, Kagome smiled in welcome, happy to see her friends. She'd not seen them since they graduated, and though she'd spoken to all of them on the phone, they hadn't had time to get together before the girls headed off to the university.

Setting her shopping basket aside, Kagome reached out to hug Eri, who was closest. The baby didn't seem to enjoy the sudden movement or the quick squeeze, and it kicked—hard. Kagome gasped as Eri backed up with a shocked expression on her face. “Kagome? Are you . . . ?”

Kagome nodded and plastered on a bright smile. “Yep . . . I'm pregnant.”

“Why would you do such a thing?” Yuka asked, her face registering her shock. “They can do something about that . . . why would you keep it?”

An irrational irritation rose in Kagome's chest. Of course she knew that many girls her age—if they did end up pregnant—did have abortions. Many of the girls who did would add their Jizo statues at one of the many gardens set up to offer a gift for the lost little ones. The idea mortified Kagome. It always had.

She could feel her face heat at her friend's frank questions. “Does it matter?” she hedged.

“I think it's great!” Ayumi said with a giggle. “A baby! How sweet!”

Kagome winced. “Oh, uh, yes. I'm being a surrogate for a close friend.”

“You mean you're doing this on purpose?” Yuka gasped.

“She and her husband couldn't have a baby on their own. It just seemed like the right thing to do.”

Eri shook her head. “But you'll get stretch marks, and other . . . stuff . . .”

“I can't believe you're throwing your life away to do this,” Yuka went on. “What kind of friend asks you to do something so ghastly?”

“There's nothing ghastly about it,” Kagome countered quietly, trying to hide the hurt caused by the girls' words. “I'm not throwing anything away.”

“Call it what you want, Kagome, but no guy is going to want you after your done having that baby. Your body will be all fat and—”

“Who the fuck are you calling fat, and since when is doing something for your friends a waste of time?”

Kagome gasped as Eri and Yuka stepped back in surprise. Feeling the comforting familiarity of InuYasha just behind her, she couldn't help the rush of thankfulness that surged over her.

“InuYasha?”

Ignoring the question in Kagome's tone, InuYasha glared at the girls. “Some fucking friends you are . . . in my world friends like you are gutted and left for dead.”

Eri and Yuka gasped and hurried off, muttering apologies under their breaths as Ayumi frowned in confusion. “I'd better go, too . . . I think what you're doing is wonderful, Kagome.”

“Thanks, Ayumi.”

Ayumi hurried away as Kagome turned to stare at InuYasha, who was still glowering over her head in the direction of the retreating girls. “InuYasha . . . thank you.”

“Keh. What for? They didn't have the right to say that, and you shouldn't have let them.”

“It's not that easy . . . they've been my friends for years, ever since I started school.”

“And that gives them the right to judge you?”

She made a face and sighed as she retrieved her shopping basket. “No, you're right.” Staring at him, she suddenly smiled. InuYasha blinked in surprise at the mercurial shift in her mood. She reached up and tipped the baseball cap's bill. “I'm surprised you remembered the hat.”

He shrugged. “Keh. Your mother made me wear it.”

She giggled as he followed her to the check out. “I'm sorry I got so mad at you earlier.”

“Yeah . . . I'm sorry that damn lecher thought it'd be all right to put his fucking hands on you.”

Kagome rolled her eyes but giggled again. “I'm glad you followed me.”

He looked away as his cheeks reddened. “Keh.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> _“Sentai Jizo, meaning literally 'one thousand Jizo' and installed mostly for the aborted fetuses. Jizo is believed to be a guardian deity of children, both alive and dead, including stillborn babies and aborted fetuses. Sorrowing parents who lost children dedicate the statuettes and pray that the god may protect the poor little ones wandering in the netherworld. Usually, the parents offer dolls and baby clothes to the statuettes.”_  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Miroku:**  
>  … No teasing, right???


	18. Nefarious Deception

 

~~ ** _Chapter 18_** ~~  
~ ** _Nefarious Deception_** ~

 

  
_Kagome hopped off Kirara's back and ran toward the two hanyous who were locked in a deadly embrace. “InuYasha!” her voice called out in the dim light of the rising moon. “Watch out!_ ”

_“Keh! Stay back!” he yelled with a gasp as one of Naraku's tentacles wrapped around his chest, tightening as the vile entity sought to absorb InuYasha into his body. “I don't think so, bastard!” InuYasha snarled_. “Sankon-tetsusou!”

_The tentacle fell away as InuYasha crashed to the ground, black blood seeping from the wounds on his arms, his chest. A small cry welled up in Kagome's throat as another snaking appendage shot toward InuYasha. Without a second thought, she drew an arrow, nocked it back, let it fly. Zipping through the air with a shimmering pink aura, the arrow gathered power as it closed the distance, as it neared the target. Another arrow shot from the forest to her left, and Kagome gasped as her head turned. “Kikyou!” she called out as the miko's arrow, bathed in blue light, shot toward Naraku from the other side_.

_Naraku raised his tentacles to stop the onslaught. The sacred arrows shattered and dispelled them, gaining incredible power with every part of the evil hanyou they destroyed. As the arrows neared, in that split second, InuYasha slammed Tetsusaiga into the earth_. “Kongousouha!”

_The arrows hit in a violent explosion of light as the spears of diamonds hit Naraku square in the chest, impaling him, sending him careening back_.

“Kazaana!” _Miroku shouted as he unleashed his wind tunnel to suck up the bits and pieces of Naraku before he could gather them back together to regenerate himself. Hair blowing back away from his face as the monk stood his ground, he held onto his wrist as the kazaana absorbed more and more of the evil hanyou's body_.

_Naraku burbled, bubbles of murky blood issuing as he tried to laugh. With a sudden jerk, the villain shot out more runners toward InuYasha. A sizzling hiss as Sesshoumaru's energy whip shot out to thwart the tentacles ended in a crack as the green line snapped against the vine_.

_Naraku threw back his head, unleashed and unearthly wail. The earth rumbled, the trees trembled. Kagome stumbled and caught herself on her hands and knees. Lifting her face with a shocked gasp, she stared in horror as hundreds and hundreds of lesser youkai rose from the ground, flew through the air toward Naraku. “You cannot defeat me!” he gloated as he started assimilating them into his body_.

“Hiraikotsu!” _Sango called as she hurled her boomerang. Innumerable youkai fell in the wake of the awesome weapon. The exterminator caught it and hopped on Kirara's back for another go-round_.

_InuYasha sprinted forward, raising Tetsusaiga as he leapt into the air_. “Kaze no Kizu _!” he bellowed as unleashed the waves of flames, decimating youkai as they tried to reach Naraku. With an evil chuckle, Naraku shot out a spike, impaled InuYasha through the shoulder. With a hiss of pain as Naraku retracted the spike, InuYasha fell to the ground and rolled to his feet_.

“InuYasha!” _Kagome shrieked as she darted toward him_.

“ _Get the fuck away!” InuYasha demanded, shoving Kagome as another of Naraku's runners zipped over the ground, catching Kagome's ankle and dragging her toward him. “Let her go, bastard!” InuYasha snarled as he raised Tetsusaiga again and ran toward him_.

“ _Damn you, dog-shit! What are you doing, letting my Kagome fight?” Kouga snapped as he sprinted past InuYasha. His new acquisition, Goraishi, appeared on his hand, and he snapped the blades as he flexed his claws_.

`He looks like Freddy Krueger _,' Kagome thought weakly as Naraku's vine tightened around her, squeezing out her breath. Ready to pass out from lack of oxygen, she tried to reach over her shoulder for an arrow. Her arms didn't want to move_.

_With a lightning fast swipe of his new metal claws, Kouga ripped through the thick tentacle like it was made of paper. With a small scream as she plummeted toward the earth, Kagome's heart lurched as strong arms caught her. InuYasha leaped to the side and set her on her feet, glaring at her in obvious anger, eyes blazing as hot as the noonday sun. “Fucking hell, bitch! Don't you ever fucking listen_?”

_Unable to stand on her shaking legs, Kagome fell to her hands and knees as she shook her head and struggled to breathe. “Keh! Stay here, damn it!” he demanded just before he jumped away_.

“ _Tetsusaiga, InuYasha!_ ”

_Looking up, Kagome watched as Sesshoumaru drew Tenseiga. InuYasha nodded quickly and whipped Tetsusaiga out of the sheath_.

“ _Can you fight?_ ”

_Kagome glanced up into Kikyou's unreadable expression. “I . . . yes,” she gasped out, still trying to recover from the lack of oxygen_.

  
_Kikyou nodded once and held out Kagome's bow. “With our combined powers, we can end this,” Kikyou said_.

_Kagome stood and pulled an arrow out of the quiver on her back. The mikos nocked back their arrows in unison as the brothers and Kouga ran toward Naraku_. _Miroku and Sango were busy with a hoard of lesser youkai, and Kagome steadied herself on her feet before she took aim_.

“ _Now!” Kikyou yelled as they released their arrows. As they whistled through the air, the auras melded together. Wrapping around both arrows in a purplish light, the two suddenly merged into one. It hit Naraku as Kouga, InuYasha and Sesshoumaru's combined attack made contact_.

_With a screech of pain as his body dissipated, the malevolent being slowly dissolved. “You think you've won? You weak and pathetic beings! You cannot defeat me! You cannot!_ ”

_In a blinding flash of brilliant white light, Naraku's laughter hung on the wind as the vile dust that had comprised his body blew away on a sudden wind. Complete silence engulfed the allies, each one lost in the disbelief, the hard-to-grasp realization that Naraku had finally been destroyed_.

“ _Take care of InuYasha,” Kikyou said softly as she turned and disappeared into the forest_.

“ _Kikyou?” Kagome called after her. The miko ignored her and kept moving_ . . .

Kagome awoke with a soft gasp in the quiet sanctuary of her bedroom. The stillness rang in her ears as she sat up slowly, hand wrapped protectively over her belly. It had been so long since she'd remembered that night . . . it left her feeling panicked, unsettled.

Standing up and wandering in the darkness, Kagome stopped at her window. Filtering light of the sliver of a moon high in the night sky made the world look sad, lonely. She sighed and watched as her breath fogged the window pane.

Letting her gaze roam over the landscape, Kagome frowned at the sight of the solitary figure sitting near the now dormant garden . . . Sango's garden. Whether he was awake or asleep, Kagome wasn't sure. The huddled form that was InuYasha sent a stabbing pain through her heart.

Kagome turned away from the window and stepped into her slippers as she struggled into her robe and padded from the bedroom. ` _Why is he outside?_ ' she wondered as she quietly padded down the stairs. She pulled on her coat and retrieved a thick blanket from the closet before she headed for the back door and stepped out into the night.

“InuYasha?” His back stiffened at the sound of her soft voice. “Why are you out here? You can come inside . . . it's awfully cold tonight.”

“Keh. What are you doing out here? You're going to get sick.”

“I'll go back inside,” she agreed. “Why don't you come with me?”

He shook his head. “I'm better off out here, thanks.”

She frowned at the oddly hostile tone in his voice. “I brought a blanket out for you,” she ventured.

“I don't need it.”

“Humor me, then.”

“Keh. Fine.”

Letting the blanket fall open, Kagome carefully draped it over his shoulders. “Are you sure you don't want to come inside?”

He shook his head and sighed. “What's it like?”

“What's what like?” she asked as she knelt down beside him.

He shook his head again as he held open the blanket. She stared at him for a moment before she scooted closer to allow him to fold her into the warmth of the blanket, too. “When the . . . pup moves . . . what's it like?”

Kagome hesitated before she answered. “Do you want to feel it?”

“No!” he growled as his cheeks pinked just a little. He blinked a few times and wrinkled his nose. “Is . . . is it . . . moving now?” he asked grudgingly.

She nodded. “Give me your hand.”

He still looked like he was fighting his desire to run away but he let her take his hand and press it against her stomach. She sat with an expectant look on her face. She giggled suddenly as the baby moved. InuYasha gasped and tried to jerk his hand back. She held onto it and laughed a little louder when the movement came again.

“That's it?” he asked as a timid smile surfaced on his features. She nodded. The baby kicked again, and he laughed out loud. “That's a strong pup! He'll grow up, and no one will fuck with him! Mark my words, Kagome, his life won't be nothin' like mine.”

“InuYasha?”

“Huh?” he mumbled as he waited for the baby to move again.

Kagome swallowed hard and bit her lip. “It's not . . . it isn't my baby, remember?”

InuYasha's smile faded as he drew his hand away from her and sat back, gaze shifting away. “Keh. Of course I remember. How could I forget?”

Kagome sighed and shook her head slowly. “Sometimes . . . sometimes I forget that, myself. Is that . . . bad?”

InuYasha turned his face away and shook his head. “Why would you do this to yourself? Even knowing from the start . . . ?”

Kagome shrugged. “Because I want them to be happy.”

InuYasha drew a deep breath and nodded slowly. Standing up, he reached out for her hand. “Come on. You'll freeze out here.”

Hesitantly, Kagome took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. He followed her into the house and up to her room, taking his normal spot under the window as she lay back down in the bed. “Goodnight. Sleep well.”

InuYasha heaved a sigh. “Keh.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

The fire in the pit cast the chamber in an eerie light. Standing before the glowing orb that floated over the earthenware urn, the thin violet smoke rose from the container, swirling around the sphere, snaking a trail as it dissipated in the air, Hisadaicho smiled as she breathed in the rising incense. Aki stood beside the door, hands behind his back as he waited patiently for further instruction. She beckoned him closer as she dropped her kimono to the floor. The servant knelt before her, nuzzling against her thighs.

“Shall we see what Oro is dreaming tonight?”

Aki didn't answer as he pulled her closer against his mouth.

Waving a hand over the orb, the smoke rose thicker, higher. An image emerged from the smoke, a vague outline of a man and a woman. Hisadaicho frowned as she stared. It wasn't Oro and his unwitting beloved. “Who is this?” she mused as her eyes closed slightly.

The image solidified, grew clearer for her inspection. A silver haired young man with little dog ears, and a raven haired girl . . . slender in body with long shapely legs and thin arms, the slight thickness around her stomach gave away the child she carried. Hisadaicho smiled as she watched the girl lower her mouth over him, watched as he let his head fall back, as he whined softly, as he groaned in pleasure.

“InuYasha . . .” she mumbled with a smile. “How could it be? I would certainly have known . . .”

Hisadaicho's smile grew wider as the hanyou gasped, tensed, cried out . . .

“Show me . . . where is he now?”

The image shifted, faded, melded into something else. The same young man, clad in crimson clothing, cradled in the branches of a barren tree.

Hisadaicho sighed as her body trembled under Aki's careful ministrations. ` _Well, InuYasha_ . . .' she mused as she stepped away to lie down on the pillows once more. ` _You've made everything so much easier . . . and you haven't even a clue_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Kagome, don't forget, you have another doctor visit Friday, if you'll be gone that long.”

Kagome nodded as she set aside her chopsticks and reached for her glass of milk. “I didn't forget. I don't know how long I'll be gone this time . . . InuYasha?”

“Huh?”

“Are you all right? You've been spacey all morning,” Kagome remarked as she eyed InuYasha critically.

“Keh. I'm fine.”

“Mama asked how long I'd be gone this time, but I do have to be home by Friday for a doctor visit.”

InuYasha made a face as he dug into his ramen, which Kagome had insisted was entirely inappropriate for breakfast. Unfortunately, her mother seemed to have developed a soft spot for him, and she prepared him what he asked for. “Whatever,” he mumbled.

“You got up early this morning,” Kagome went on, ignoring the obvious irritation in the hanyou's demeanor. “I got up at six to go to the bathroom, and you were already gone.”

InuYasha shrugged. “Your room's too hot. I slept in the tree.”

“We do have a guest room, InuYasha,” Mrs. Higurashi pointed out gently. “You're welcome to stay in there, and I can put a cover over the vent, if you'd rather.”

He shook his head quickly, his face flushing as he studiously glared at his ramen. “Tree's fine.”

Kagome eyed him suspiciously. He was acting entirely too strange this morning, no doubt about it. She sighed. Knowing him, he wouldn't tell her what was bothering him, even if she begged. ` _Stubborn baka_.'

“Is something bothering you, InuYasha?” Mrs. Higurashi asked, concern evident in her expression.

“Keh. No.” Dropping his chopsticks on the table in a dull clatter, InuYasha shot to his feet and stomped toward the door. “Hurry it up, wench. We ain't got all day.”

Kagome rolled her eyes and sighed as she stood up. “Guess I'd better get moving. InuYasha doesn't seem like he's in a good mood at all . . .”

Mrs. Higurashi smiled. “All right, dear. Be careful.”

Kagome grinned as she put her dishes in the sink and tossed InuYasha's empty ramen cup. “I will. Bye, Mama.”

And with a jaunty wave over her shoulder as she grabbed her coat, Kagome ran out of the house.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Come out. I know you're there.”

Hisadaicho stepped into the clearing where the resurrected miko was passing through. “So you are Kikyou. Interesting. Stealer of souls?”

Kikyou regarded her without a change in expression. “I am Kikyou. Who are you?”

“My name is not important. I've come to ask you a question. Do you wish to live once more? To exist without the need to . . . borrow souls from dead maidens?”

Kikyou's smile was full of irony, an empty expression that didn't touch her eyes. “I need nothing from the likes of you. What manner of evil binds you to this world?”

Hisadaicho chuckled. “Evil? Me? I have been called many things . . . evil has never been one of them.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“I seek information on the one known as InuYasha.”

Kikyou stopped and turned her head slowly to stare at Hisadaicho. She didn't miss the flash of surprise in the undead miko's gaze. “And what interest does one such as you have in him?”

“I hear he travels with a curious girl . . . your reincarnation, if I'm not mistaken.” Hisadaicho frowned. “Does that bother you?”

Kikyou started walking again. “I made my peace with those things long ago. Now why don't you tell me what you're really after?”

Hisadaicho shook her head, hiding her coy smile as she saw the miko's turmoil, the things that she sought to hide. “You were once his lover, were you not? Surely it cannot be easy to see him with another . . .”

“That was a lifetime ago, and again I shall ask just what it is you're after.”

Hisadaicho deliberately took her time in answering. “If . . . your reincarnation were to . . . die . . . wouldn't you have your soul back?”

Kikyou stopped abruptly and swung around to face Hisadaicho again. “Even if I wanted my soul back I would not stoop to something as low as that. Be gone . . . we have nothing further to discuss.”

“Vengeance is a sweet retribution . . . I hear this lover of yours now follows around your reincarnation like a puppy . . .”

A brief flash of pain that was quickly quelled did not go unnoticed as Kikyou carefully blanked her features. “It is none of my concern. I relinquished my claim on him long ago.”

“And would it interest you to know the sordid dreams that she has driven him to? He had been tainted by lustful thoughts and visions of her, and tainted creatures must die.”

“Are you threatening InuYasha?” Kikyou demanded, the anger in her voice belying her bland expression.

Hisadaicho blinked innocently. “Did it sound like a threat?”

Kikyou shifted her gaze to the side, pinning the woman with a calculating stare. “You cannot hurt him. I will not allow it.”

“So you _do_ still love him.”

“That doesn't matter. I will not allow harm to come to him from one such as you.” Kikyou raised her hand. Her soul collectors descended to wrap around her, to lift her into the air. “Stay away from InuYasha, or I shall destroy you,” she called back.

Hisadaicho watched the miko walk away, a small smile playing with the corners of her lips. ` _Such righteous indignation . . . such fervor . . . Thank you, Kikyou . . . you have accomplished your task for me_.'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Kami, Kagome . . . do you think you could have left something back in your time?” InuYasha grumbled as he cleared the top of the well and landed neatly in the fresh snow around the structure. Setting Kagome gently on her feet, he readjusted the backpack with a grimace.

“Yeah . . . stop complaining. I brought extra ramen for you and even a couple bags of potato chips.”

He wrinkled his nose. “And yet your bag still manages to weigh about the same as Totosai's bull.”

She stopped suddenly and shot him a speculative glance. “When have you been carrying around Totosai's bull?”

“Keh! Don't change the subject.”

“I didn't. You brought up the bull.”

“Bull shit.”

“InuYasha—”

“What?”

“Um . . . I, umm . . .”

InuYasha rolled his hand in an impatient gesture apparently meant to speed Kagome's words. “Don't choke on it, wench.”

“I forgot something.”

“Oh, hell . . .”

Planting her hands in the center of his chest to stop him from stomping away, Kagome plastered on a bright smile and batted her eyes a couple of times for good measure. He blinked and blushed but stopped with a scowl on his face. “It'll just take a few minutes, okay? Will you wait for me?”

Making a show of rolling his eyes and heaving a sigh, InuYasha plopped down in the snow to wait.

“Thank you!” she called over her shoulder as she scampered back over to the well.

“Keh! Hurry it up. If that lecher and Sango come sniffing around for you, I might have to preoccupy myself by shoving Tetsusaiga up his—-”

“No Tetsusaiga shoving, and I promise, I'll hurry!”

“Yeah . . . yet another `favor' you owe me. Now get moving.”

“Let me guess, I `m not allowed to _look_ at another guy now?”

“Shuddup and move it,” he grumbled. “We can discuss this favor later.”

InuYasha watched as Kagome disappeared over the side of the well. “Oi!” he hollered as he shot over to the side of the well. “Use the ladder, damn it!” he hollered into the void as Kagome disappeared through the time slip.

With an irritated growl, he sat back down and wrapped his arms around Tetsusaiga and shook his head. He'd built a ladder so that she didn't have to struggle in climbing up and down into and out of the well. Damned if she ever remembered to use it, though. What if she hurt the pup doing that? He made a face. He'd have to remind her. With his luck, Sango or that monk would end up seeing Kagome drop into the well, and he'd be the one who got yelled at for it.

A strange shift in the breeze, a slight bowing in the forest . . . InuYasha stood up slowly, sensing her approach. Seconds later, Kikyou's Shini-dama-chuu floated over the clearing with Kikyou in their grasp.

` _Kikyou?_ ' InuYasha wondered as he stuck Tetsusaiga through his waistband. ` _Why_ . . . ?'

Lighting on the ground as her soul collectors spiraled above, the miko stepped forward. “InuYasha . . .”

“Kikyou . . .”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Sankon-tetsusou:** Iron Reaver, Soul Stealer, InuYasha's stand-by claw attack.  
>  **Kongousouha:** Diamond Spear Blast, Tetsusaiga's ultimate techinique . . . to date.  
>  **Kaze no Kizu:** Wind Scar, One of Tetsusaiga's attacks.  
>  **Kazaana:** Wind Tunnel, Miroku's weapon.  
>  **Hiraikotsu:** Come Flying Bone, Sango's ginormous boomerang.  
>  **Goraishi:** Five Thunder Fingers (Kouga's new `toy')  
>  **Shini-dama-chuu:** Kikyou's soul collectors, serpent-like beings that collect souls for her to use.
> 
> == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Hisadaicho:**  
>  My plan is working out perfectly . . .  
> ==========


	19. Lying Eyes

 

 

~~ ** _Chapter 19_** ~~  
~ ** _Lying Eyes_** ~

 

“Kikyou . . . why are you here? Kagome's coming, and she can't see you right now—”

“There isn't time, InuYasha,” Kikyou cut in as she stepped closer. “I wanted to tell you. The information you sought before—The contemptible presence you felt but could not place—”

Eyes flashing wide, InuYasha closed the distance between them to grab Kikyou's arm. “What are you saying?”

Kikyou winced at the tightness of InuYasha's grip. He relented but didn't let go. “She came looking for me. She wanted me to kill Kagome, to reclaim my soul.”

“ _What?_ ”

“She has a vile aura, InuYasha. She is all things foul and despicable.”

InuYasha shook his head. “Are you sure it's her?”

“Yes, and she will come after you. I believe she wants Kagome.”

The growl that escaped him was fierce, low. “Over my dead body.”

Another presence brushed over him, and InuYasha stepped back. Lifting his gaze to stare over Kikyou's shoulder, he stifled a groan that welled up inside him at the sight of her, standing in the path that led from the forest. “Kagome . . .”

The pain in her eyes tore at him, the sadness of her tears that pooled and fell, coursing icy streaks down her cheeks . . . He winced and stepped back again.

“That's not Kagome,” Kikyou murmured, her voice muffled by the sound of his own blood pounding through his body. Kagome's emotions were a palpable thing to him. She stepped forward.

“InuYasha? I trusted you . . .” she rasped out, her voice broken by the welling tears, the choked-back sobs. “How could you do this to me?”

` _It's not what you think!_ ' his mind screamed. He couldn't seem to get the words out despite his struggle to do it. Shaking his head to deny what she thought she'd seen, trying in vain to speak through the rising panic, the overwhelming regret that she of all people would come to him now. ` _Kagome, I didn't_ . . .'

“You followed me,” Kikyou said as she advanced toward Kagome. “You vile, evil creature . . . _you_ followed me. What have you done to him? Why does he think you're Kagome?”

Kagome's gaze flashed, angry, irrational. “What did _I_ do? You're the one who will not die! You're the one who can't stand that he doesn't love you anymore! He dreams about me! _Me!_ How dare you try to turn him against me? _You bitch!_ ” Turning her head to stab InuYasha with her glower, she stepped toward him. “You . . . you _half-breed!_ I trusted you! I trusted you, and you—You're trying to _destroy_ me!”

InuYasha darted forward to intercept Kagome as she stretched out her hand, her fingertips pulsing with a strange reddish light. Kikyou flung him out of the way with a violent shove. The reddish light erupted in a ball of energy that shot through the air and hit Kikyou in the chest, ripping her open as spurts of blood shot out of her body.

Kikyou flew back, landing in a crumpled heap in the snow.

` _Kagome! No!_ '

Kagome slowly stalked forward, eyes intent on Kikyou's sprawled body.

“Kagome! It's not—-”

“ _Shut up!_ ” she shrieked at InuYasha, the light of anger and pain scathing him. “You stay out of this!” Extending her hand toward him, another flash of red light surrounded him. He fought against it. He couldn't move.

“You . . . aren't . . . Kagome . . .” Kikyou breathed out.

“Aren't I?” she countered as she stood over Kikyou. “Stay away from InuYasha! He's mine! He will bow to _me_ , and you shall go to hell where you belong.”

Raising her hands as more of the violent red energy surrounded her, InuYasha clawed at the red barrier that held him too tightly to grab Tetsusaiga. “Kagome! No! _Don't do it!_ ” he bellowed.

Bolts of flashing red energy jolted from the tips of her fingers to engulf Kikyou's body. Above the rasping entreaties of the hanyou, the soul collectors suddenly exploded. Kikyou rose in the air, suspended by the strings of light. Kagome stood, hands outstretched. “You've meddled in my life long enough! Die!”

As fast as the energy had appeared, it dispelled, and Kikyou's body crashed into the ground with a sickening thud.

“ _Kikyou!_ ” InuYasha screamed.

Kagome turned and walked toward the forest. “You . . . you'll never hurt me again, InuYasha. _I hate you!_ ”

Her words tore through him with a vicious abandon. Recoiling from the animosity in her voice, in her expression, InuYasha whispered, “Ka . . . Kagome . . .”

As she disappeared into the trees, the red barrier vanished. InuYasha stood for a second as he tried to think of what he should do.

Kikyou's rasping breath jolted him out of his confusion, and he stumbled to her, sinking in the snow, pulling her head onto his lap. “Kikyou . . .”

Kikyou closed her eyes for a moment and managed a weak smile. “She . . . not . . . Kagome . . .”

“Damn it . . . Just like before . . . I couldn't . . . I . . . _damn it_.”

Managing a smile as she reached out to push the hair out of his face, Kikyou offered him a tiny smile tinged by pain, tempered by sadness. “You couldn't protect me . . . because I've never . . . wanted you to . . .”

“Kikyou . . .”

“Protect Kagome . . . protect . . . the jewel.”

Squeezing his eyes closed against the truth in Kikyou's unspoken words, InuYasha shook his head. “You can't . . . Kagome . . . she _can't_ kill you!”

Kikyou swallowed hard. “She didn't . . . Don't trust your eyes . . . InuYasha . . .”

With a soft gasp, the resurrected miko closed her eyes, and her clay body disintegrated back into earth once more.

InuYasha leaned forward, claws digging into the scarlet-bloody snow. The cry that came from him was borne of confusion, of pain. “ _Kagome! Damn it, Kagome! How could you do this?_ ”

A soft gasp drew his gaze. Shifting his eyes without moving his head, he saw her, Kagome, standing by the backpack near the Bone Eater's Well. Her fingers pressed to her lips as she slowly backed away at the rage in his eyes, Kagome shook her head slowly.

InuYasha slowly got to his feet, hands balled into tight fists. A wispy blue light rose from the ashen remains of Kikyou's body and flew through the air, slamming straight into Kagome's chest. ` _The rest of her soul_ . . .' She staggered back and fell to her knees as InuYasha stalked toward her, dropped to his knees before her. Grabbing her thin arms in his hands, he shook her. “What the fuck were you doing? _Why?_ ”

She pulled against his grip but he held her tight. “I . . . I didn't . . .”

“ _I saw you!_ ”

“But I didn't . . . I _wouldn't_ . . .”

Steeling himself against the scent of her deceptive tears, InuYasha shook her again. “ _I . . . saw . . . you!_ Fuck! What the hell! _Why?_ ”

“I just . . . I just came back . . . I—”

` _Lies!_ ' his mind screamed. ` _You saw her! You know you did! Kagome_ killed _her! She . . . she_ _. . . And you promised Kikyou long ago . . . you'd avenge her . . . kill the one who killed her!_ '

He shook his head as Kagome pleaded with him to listen. Eyes squeezed closed as he tried to comprehend what his promise demanded of him. Letting go of her arm to raise his claws, he faltered, hesitated. ` _I . . . promised_ . . _. I have to . . . keep that promise_ . . .'

` _But . . . I promised . . . Kagome, too, that I'd protect her . . . I can't_ . . .'

` _Kikyou_ . . .'

` _Kagome_ . . .'

Opening his eyes, glaring into Kagome's face, InuYasha's resolve wavered. Kikyou's voice spoke to him again, a whisper, a breath. ` _She didn't . . . Don't trust your eyes . . . InuYasha_ . . .'

Head lowered as she silently sobbed, as though she knew what was going through his head, Kagome's shoulders were slumped in defeat, and she waited without begging him to listen, without asking him to believe her.

The things she'd said . . . couldn't have been Kagome . . . she'd never call him a half-breed . . . she wouldn't say that she hated him . . .

The power had been too deliberate, too controlled . . . did Kagome have such control over her powers? Did she?

Staring at the well as he remembered that Kagome had gone back to her time to get something . . . ` _She didn't . . . she couldn't have come from the forest . . ._ '

Hand dropping as a sick realization washed over him, he didn't think as he dragged Kagome forward, into his embrace, and he held her while she cried.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _Coward_.'

InuYasha made a face as he sat high in the branches of Goshinboku as the silent snow fell around him. Coward, maybe. A coward and a monster. Caught somewhere between the awful guilt that he'd once again failed to save Kikyou and the realization of what he had nearly done to Kagome . . . he winced as he stared out over the forest.

Why had she looked like Kagome? Down to the very scent of her—a scent he knew just a little too well . . . She _was_ Kagome, and yet . . . she _couldn't_ have been.

Kikyou's face flashed though his head, a ghostly image of a face he'd never forget. It didn't matter that she'd never wanted his protection. He'd given his word to her, and his word was the only thing he really had. ` _I could have done something_ ,' he thought with a tired sigh. ` _I could have cut through the barrier with Tetsusaiga_ . . .'

Common logic made him shake his head. ` _No . . . that barrier was wrapped around me too tightly. I couldn't draw the sword . . . I couldn't even touch it_.'

And yet he couldn't help the small voice that taunted him, either. ` _Keh. Will your fucking excuses make it all go away? Baka . . . Kikyou . . . Kagome . . . they're both too good for the likes of you_ . . .'

He used to believe that nothing in the world could feel as horrible as his inability to save Kikyou the first time she'd died. He winced. He had been so wrong. It didn't matter how often he reminded himself that he hadn't been able to move because of that barrier. It didn't stop the accusing voice that whispered to him that he should have been able to save her . . .

Kagome's face haunted him. Kagome's hatred, her anger, her tears . . . try as he might, he couldn't get the image of her out of his head. It couldn't have been her. He knew that, knew that she was on the other side of the well. But whoever it was looked like her, _exactly_ like her . . . but the things she'd said . . . It couldn't have been her . . .

“InuYasha?”

He'd heard Kagome's approach. He'd smelled her when she came closer. He could sense her upset, evident in the slight tremor in her voice. He didn't answer her.

She leaned up on her toes, hands against Goshinboku's trunk, face turned up as she stared sadly at him. “Please . . . I'm sorry . . .”

Her soft apology clawed at his heart. She didn't have anything to be sorry for . . . When did she ever? “Leave me alone, Kagome. You can't fix this.”

She sighed, letting her forehead fall against the rough tree bark. “I don't want to fix anything . . . I just . . .”

“Go home.”

“ . . . All right . . .”

He closed his eyes as she turned and walked away. ` _Kagome . . . you're not safe here . . . you're not safe with me_ . . .' A few minutes later when her presence faded, he whined softly, unable to stand the emptiness, the ache that she left inside him whenever she was gone.

It made no sense. Why would anyone hurt her? Steal the jewel, sure, but Kikyou had said . . . ` _I believe she wants Kagome_.'

But why? When had Kagome ever hurt a living soul? She healed, she comforted . . . she didn't destroy, and she didn't cause harm . . .

InuYasha swallowed hard, staring at the claws he'd nearly used against her, against Kagome. Ears flattening as he squeezed his eyes closed, InuYasha sighed. No, Kagome didn't cause harm. He did that, all by himself.

“InuYasha, are you going to sit up there all night?”

“Thinkin' about it.”

Sango sighed. “You're hurting her, you know.”

“She's better off without me.”

“Don't be foolish. Of course she isn't.”

“Keh! What do you know about it?”

Sango shook her head and picked up a rock to throw at him. She missed him. He had a feeling the miss was intentional. “I know you raised your claws against her. I know you thought she did it. I know she thinks she did something wrong when she didn't do a thing. That's what _I_ know about it.” She stooped to retrieve another rock. InuYasha dropped to the ground before the exterminator could hurl it at his head.

“Stop throwing rocks at me!” he bellowed, slapping the new projectile away before it smacked him in the head.

“Then stop being stubborn! InuYasha, you've already said, yourself, that she is `yours' . . . so what does that mean?”

“It means that I protect her!”

“There's more to it than that, and you know it! She needs you. She needs to know that you don't blame her . . . that you don't hate her.”

InuYasha crossed his arms together and shook his head. “It ain't that simple.”

“It can be.”

“Keh.”

She sighed and shook her head. “InuYasha . . . I know you're upset, and no one blames you for that. But Kagome . . . she really, really needs you. Miroku and I . . . we can't help her.”

InuYasha turned away. “Sango . . . the two most important promises I've ever made in my life, I've broken. I promised Kikyou I'd protect her, and I failed, twice. I promised Kagome I'd protect her, too, and I . . .” He swallowed hard and shook his head. “This bitch is after Kagome, and how the hell am I supposed to protect her from something that looks just like her?”

Sango was quiet a moment, as though she were gathering her thoughts. “And you think you're the only person who's ever felt that way? I lost my brother not once, but many times . . . every time Naraku pulled Kohaku away from me, I felt the pain of his loss again and again and again. The first time I saw him fall, I knew he was dead. I mourned him as I mourned the others . . . and the last time? I knew in my heart that I still couldn't save him, despite the promise I made to him, then, too. Don't talk to me about broken promises, InuYasha, not when you can still keep the one you made.”

InuYasha watched in silence as the exterminator turned on her heel and stomped away. He shook his head. ` _Keh! That's not the same . . . it's not the same at all . . . Or is it . . . ?_ '

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome sat on the bench beneath Goshinboku with her elbows on her knees and her chin cradled in the cup of her palms. As though all the tears had dried up inside her, her eyes burned, hot and aching.

` _Why does InuYasha think I'd . . . that I'd . . . I wouldn't . . . especially not Kikyou, not when he still . . ._ ' Squeezing her eyes closed against the words she couldn't say, even in her own head, Kagome sighed. ` _But . . . he thought I did, even though he knew I'd come back here, and then_ . . .' The memory of the look on his face, the rage and pain in his eyes . . . He really did think she'd killed Kikyou. He really would have killed _her_ . . . Something had stopped him.

It hurt too much to dwell on. The idea that he could honestly believe that she could do something so horrible . . . it turned her stomach.

He wouldn't tell her anything, wouldn't tell her why he had thought she would do that, wouldn't tell her what had really happened after she went through the well. When she had returned and climbed out of the well, she had sensed that something was terribly wrong before she'd reached the top of the ladder. Something evil, something that left her feeling chilled to the bone had swept over her. When she climbed out of the well, the sight that greeted her . . . She shivered. She'd never forget . . .

InuYasha knelt on the ground cradling Kikyou's head in his lap. That had been painful to see, but then she spoke to him in a voice too quiet for Kagome to hear. She'd heard InuYasha, though . . . she'd never forget his words. Bent over in the snow after Kikyou's body had disintegrated, his words rang in her ears even now, and she blinked quickly as tears stung her eyes. ` _Kagome! Damn it, Kagome! How could you do this?_ '

“Kagome? Your mother said you were out here . . . is something wrong?”

Blinking quickly as she sat up and dashed the back of her hand over her eyes, Kagome couldn't manage the smile she tried to conjure as she turned her head to meet Houjou's friendly gaze. Holding a pretty yellow paper gift bag in his hands, his concern was evident in his slight frown. “Houjou . . . hi.”

“I . . . uh . . . ran into the girls a few days ago . . . Ayumi told me that you decided to be a surrogate mother.”

“Yeah . . . the others weren't too impressed,” she admitted ruefully.

Houjou handed the bag to her and shuffled his feet nervously. “Here . . . my mother said that sometimes pregnant women get swollen ankles, so it thought . . . they're therapeutic socks, to keep any swelling down.”

Kagome pulled the light blue socks out of the bag and stared at them as more tears filled her eyes. The simple gesture, the selfless kindness was more than she could bear. Burying her face in the soft fabric, she couldn't control the sobs that racked through her body.

“Kagome? Don't cry . . . I'm sorry . . . I can get a different color, or something else . . . please . . .”

Shaking her head as the sobs grew worse, she'd never felt quite so miserable and helpless, angry and confused in her life. Irritation rose, too, that she couldn't get a handle on her own emotions, and yet the irritation only brought more tears to the fore.

Kneeling before her, Houjou gently pulled her hands away from her face. She couldn't make out his expression through the wash of falling tears. “Is this about what the others said? Yuka and Eri? Don't let them bother you . . . I think what you're doing really shows how wonderful you are.”

Which, of course, only made her cry harder than ever. “No!” she wailed, unable to keep her voice down. “It isn't them . . . it's . . . oh, everything . . .”

Houjou nodded and let go of her hands. “Is it that boyfriend of yours? He doesn't like what you're doing, does he?”

Hiccupping as she tried to stop crying, Kagome blinked and wiped her eyes on the back of her hand again. “InuYasha, you mean? No . . . it's not him, either, exactly.”

“If you don't want to talk about it, I understand,” Houjou said when Kagome fell silent, sniffling and hiccupping as she stared at her hands in her lap.

“I think . . . I think I did something . . . but I don't know what it was . . . No one wants to tell me, and . . .” she trailed off then suddenly shook her head, a determined light igniting behind her gaze as her brows furrowed together in a scowl. “Listen to me . . . babbling about this . . . Thank you, Houjou. You're so nice, and . . .”

Houjou sighed and offered her a timid smile. “I've got to go. I just wanted to drop those off on the way to work. My phone number is in the bag. Call me if you need me, all right?”

Kagome nodded. “Thanks.”

She watched him go with a slight smile on her face. As he disappeared down the shrine steps, she sighed and let her gaze drop to the now-damp socks she held tight in her hands.

“You didn't do a damn thing, Kagome. It was . . . someone else . . . but she looked . . . _exactly_. . . like you.”

With a soft gasp, Kagome shot to her feet and whirled around. InuYasha leaned against the well-house doors, eyes carefully averted with his arms crossed under his haori sleeves.

“InuYasha . . .”

He shook his head and pushed away from the doors. “You . . . _she_ . . . cast a barrier on me. I couldn't move at all . . . but even if I could have . . . I don't think I could have saved Kikyou because . . . because I couldn't have . . . not when the other one looked like you . . .”

Kagome shook her head slowly as InuYasha stopped before her. “Why didn't you tell me this before?”

InuYasha swallowed hard, staring over her head. “Sango and Miroku thought it'd be better if you didn't know, and I . . . I didn't want to hurt you anymore.”

Kagome wasn't sure what to say. He looked so sad, so tired, so alone . . . the misery in his eyes hurt her far worse than anything else, and she reached out, wrapped her arms around him. For a moment, he resisted, his body unyielding. With a sudden fierceness, he grabbed her, held her close. His voice was choked, no more than a whisper, and she closed her eyes against the raw pain in his tone. “I wouldn't . . . I wasn't thinking, and I . . . I'm sorry.”

“It's all right,” she assured him, unable to do more than hug him back as he squeezed her just a little tighter. “You don't have to be sorry . . . it's all right . . .”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  What the hell is this powder on my sleeve . . . ?


	20. Perceived Threats

 

~~ ** _Chapter 20_** ~~  
~ ** _Perceived Threats_** ~

 

InuYasha swam through the frigid water with grim determination. Miroku shook his head slowly and heaved a sigh in commiseration for his hanyou friend. “I'll bet that if you just talked to Kagome about your problem that she'd be more than willing to help you out,” he called from the shore, unable to resist teasing InuYasha just a little.

InuYasha muttered some unintelligible curses as he dragged his body toward the shore. “Fucking lecher,” was the only one Miroku could make out. He wisely hid his amusement behind a well-placed cough.

Finally striding out of the small pond, Miroku couldn't help but wince as he watched the hanyou shake himself off. It was well below freezing, and still InuYasha desired a cold dip to curb other . . . desires . . . “InuYasha, there's something very wrong when there is steam rising off you, did you know?”

InuYasha shot Miroku a quelling glance. “Keh. Shut up, will you? I didn't even want you fucking tagging along, anyway, if you remember.”

Miroku nodded. “You're right, you didn't . . . but what sort of friend would I be if I didn't suffer with you?”

InuYasha snorted. “I told you I wanted to be alone.”

“I'm sure, but until we figure out what's causing your . . . discomfort . . . I thought it would be best if we don't leave you to your own devices when Kagome's around.”

InuYasha rolled his eyes. “She was sleeping under a pile of scrawny-assed youkai, Miroku. What did you think I'd do? Grope them all?”

“No, but if you would have shifted Shippou to the side and nudged Ichisaru out of the way—”

“I don't want fucking lessons, damn it!”

Miroku held his hands up in surrender. “All right . . . I'm sorry . . . I won't make light of your trouble any more, I promise.”

InuYasha didn't look like he believed Miroku but he didn't seem like he was ready to rip his head off, either. “There's gotta be a way to make these damn dreams stop,” InuYasha grumbled.

Miroku pondered that as he stared at the sliver of a moon in the sky. “It is hard to say if you have no idea what might have started it. Tell me again, exactly what you were doing the day you first started having these dreams.”

InuYasha didn't look like he was going to comply. Finally he nodded and rubbed his forehead with a clawed hand. “It was the day I found her cave.”

“Her?”

He nodded again. “The same woman I smelled in the dead sage's hut. I smelled her there, too, and . . . others. Like a hundred of them were born in that cave. Her cocoon was different though . . . it smelled different . . .” Thinking back, InuYasha slowly recounted the entire thing, from when he entered the cave until he smashed the evil pedestal.

Miroku held up a hand. “Wait . . . This powder in her cocoon . . . did you get any on your face?”

“Hell, no! Do you think I'm stupid?”

“Of course not . . .”

“Keh. I washed it off.”

Miroku frowned. “I've heard of some youkai . . . shape shifters, mostly butterflies and some moths . . . remember the Forest of Grief?”

InuYasha snorted. “Yes, monk, yes!”

“Then you remember the power of illusion the moth youkai possesses?”

“So?”

“So . . . you said this woman emerged from a cocoon . . . Could she be a butterfly youkai? I'd have to ask Sango, but I'm sure I've heard that they contain powers of illusion in their dust . . . and . . .”

InuYasha nodded slowly. “And I touched it . . . but I washed it off my hands . . .”

Miroku shook his head. “But did you get it on anything else? Your sleeve, perhaps?”

InuYasha started to scoff at that then sat up straight. “I . . . washed my face . . . and I dried it on my sleeve . . . the same arm I reached into the cocoon with . . . Oh, _fuck!_ Are you saying I did this to my damn self?”

“Let's not jump to any hasty conclusions . . . maybe Kaede knows something, and if it is butterfly powder, maybe she knows of a way to rid you of the toxins.”

InuYasha opened his mouth to say something then stopped, flattening his ears against his head as he let his chin drop, staring at his hands.

Miroku knew that look. He waited a few moments before asking the requisite question. “What's bothering you?”

InuYasha shifted his eyes to the side to stare at Miroku. “I don't want to tell Kagome, if I don't have to.”

For once, Miroku could understand InuYasha's reluctance. He didn't think that he'd want to have to tell Sango if he were having those sorts of dreams, either, especially before he had told Sango how he felt about her . . . The only trouble was, it would make finding some sort of solution even more difficult . . . “If you do have to tell her, it would undoubtedly be best coming from you . . . alone.”

InuYasha looked like he was going to argue it. In the end, he sighed. “I'm going to have to tell her, ain't I?”

Miroku winced. “I, uh . . . yeah . . . I think so.”

“Maybe Sango can tell me more about these butterfly youkai.”

Miroku sighed. Sango might be able to tell them more, but . . . he could also swear that he'd heard before that the toxin, if left in the system, couldn't be cured . . . Of course, he'd bite off his own tongue before he told InuYasha that . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Sango shook her head slowly, glancing from Miroku to InuYasha and back again. “This isn't good,” she finally admitted. “Butterfly youkai . . . if that's what it is . . . InuYasha . . .”

He shook his head. “I don't get it . . . if I was subjected to the powder that way; it was only the one time. The fire rat cleans and fixes itself, so—”

“That's what I'm trying to tell you,” the exterminator cut in. You only have to be subjected to it once, and the effects, if you don't get an antidote right away . . . they're irreversible . . .”

“ _What?_ ” InuYasha bellowed as he shot to his feet.

“Depending on the youkai . . .” Sango trailed off as she shrugged and set aside the tiny kimono she was sewing. “What, exactly, are your side effects?”

To her surprise, InuYasha flushed deep crimson. “Never fucking mind . . . how long until it becomes irreversible?”

Sango shook her head. “The sooner the better . . . how long have you had . . . whatever symptoms you have?”

“Too damn long,” he muttered under his breath. “Over six months.”

Sango's eyebrows shot up in unabashed surprise. “Oh . . . it might be too late then . . . perhaps Kaede can do something . . . the antidote that I learned could only be used within the first week of exposure . . . . Why didn't you tell us before now?”

“Tell you what? I didn't fucking know!” InuYasha flattened his ears against his scalp and almost whined. “There's gotta be something,” he growled as he paced the hut.

“Surely it can't be that bad, InuYasha . . . most butterfly youkai's effects are actually pleasant.”

InuYasha slowly turned to pin the exterminator with a menacing glower. “The fuck they are.”

Miroku coughed. “Well, InuYasha, should we go speak to Kaede?”

Sango got up to follow. InuYasha pointed a finger at her. “Not you.”

She sank back down and frowned. “Is it _that_ bad?”

Miroku flinched as InuYasha stomped out the door. “You have no idea.” With an apologetic nod, he followed InuYasha outside.

“If Sango's right . . .” InuYasha said, his voice weary, full of dread.

Miroku had to agree. As much as InuYasha dreaded the night, the dreams really were taking a toll on him, and as strong as InuYasha was, even Miroku had to wonder just how much more the hanyou could endure before he couldn't stand anymore. “Kagome won't be back until this evening, right? Maybe we can figure something out before then.”

InuYasha looked like he didn't quite believe Miroku. “Maybe.”

Shippou hopped up onto InuYasha's shoulder when he brushed aside the bamboo mat that covered the doorway. Ichisaru monkey'ed his way up to InuYasha's other shoulder while the hanyou glared at each of them in turn. “Do you mind?” he snapped.

“InuYasha!” Shippou greeted happily. “I drew a picture of you and Kagome . . . want to see it?”

“Later, runt,” InuYasha growled as he pulled the children off of him. “Go wait for Kagome, will ya?”

Ichisaru giggled and hopped up and down near InuYasha's feet. “Kagome!” he squealed as he skittered toward the door.

“Attack her for pocky and die!” InuYasha hollered after them. Shippou waved back over his shoulder and kept running. “Those two are menaces,” he grumbled as he sat down by the fire pit.

Miroku bowed to the old miko and knelt beside InuYasha. “Kaede . . . what do you know of butterfly toxin?”

Kaede glanced up from the herbal powder she was smashing around with a mortar and pestle. “Butterfly toxin? Hmm . . . Most of the time, the toxin is harmless enough not to worry about curing . . . in the instances where the affects are worse, however, the remedy must be given within the first few days after the contact.”

InuYasha scraped his claws over the plant floor. “What about if it doesn't get treated right away?”

Kaede set the mortar aside and stared at the hanyou. “The longer it is left untreated, the more irreversible the affliction becomes.”

“How long before it becomes untreatable?” Miroku asked.

“A month? Less?” Her gaze fixed on InuYasha. “Have ye been exposed to the toxin, InuYasha?”

“Are you saying nothing can reverse it?” InuYasha growled, ignoring the miko's question.

“Butterfly youkai are mischievous by nature but are relatively harmless . . . most of the time, the cure is worse than the ailment.”

“But can it be reversed?”

Kaede sat back, folding her arms together as she considered InuYasha's question. “The only way to completely reverse it is to kill the butterfly whose toxin ye've been subjected to. There may be ways to subdue the toxin, if need be . . . what sort of ailment do ye suffer?”

Miroku cleared his throat. “InuYasha . . . I think you may have to tell Kagome. If you'd rather . . . I could explain things to Kaede.”

InuYasha sighed and stood, turning away as his face darkened in color. “Fine,” he snapped. Ears drooping, he stomped back outside.

Miroku turned to Kaede. “We think the reason that InuYasha thought Kagome attacked Kikyou was because of that toxin. For some reason, InuYasha really thought it was her. He said she even smelled like Kagome . . . and there have been other things, as well.”

“Such as?”

For once, Miroku wasn't inclined to laugh at his friend. As difficult as it had been for InuYasha to confide in Miroku to start with, the monk only understood too well the absolute desperation that had brought the confession out of InuYasha to start with. “He's been suffering dreams about himself and Kagome. From what he said, it's every night for over six months.”

“Dreams?”

Miroku nodded. “More like . . . fantasies, I've gathered . . .”

Kaede nodded slowly. “Oh . . .”

“What is it?”

“There's another way to subdue the effects of the toxin. It may remedy the dreams but it will not break the curse.”

Miroku nodded slowly. “What does it involve?”

Kaede took up her pestle and mortar again. “It's a simple process, a mixing of their blood.”

Miroku made a face. Knowing InuYasha and how violently opposed he was to any sort of injury to the young miko, this process might be a little more complex than Kaede thought.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Sitting at the Bone Eater's Well, InuYasha heaved another sigh and shook his head. “InuYasha, is she here yet?”

“Do you see her, brat?” he growled as the monkey youkai hopped onto the side the well.

Leaning over to peer down into the darkness, Ichisaru shook his head. “I don't understand . . . how does she go through here? There's nothing down there, right? Just bones and . . . stuff . . .”

“If you fall in, I ain't going after you,” InuYasha warned as the monkey leaned over even further.

Ichisaru sat up and stared at InuYasha. “InuYasha . . . is Kagome your mate?”

“Keh.”

“Shippou says she is but that you just haven't told her yet.”

“Shippou needs to be thumped.”

Ichisaru looked distressed at InuYasha's harsh assessment. “I'm sorry, InuYasha! Don't be mad! Monkey shake!” Hopping around on the ledge, InuYasha's eyes widened as the monkey shook his rear in the hanyou's face. Without a second thought, he reached over and whacked the youngster over the head.

“Ow!” Ichisaru shrieked. “That wasn't nice! Sango said it isn't nice to hit!”

“Yeah? Did Sango tell you it ain't nice to shake your ass in other people's faces?”

Ichisaru stood up and rubbed his sore head. “I was promising not to mention you and Kagome being mates, that's all.”

InuYasha rolled his eyes.

“InuYasha! You're not supposed to hit Ichisaru!” Shippou scolded as he skittered over to them. “Just ignore him. He's only mad because Kagome went back to her time.”

“Shippou—”

The eruption of light in the bottom of the well interrupted InuYasha's tirade. With an inward flinch, InuYasha waited for Kagome to climb up.

“Kagome!” Shippou hollered down. “Did you bring me pocky?”

Kagome's soft laughter drifted out of the well. Soothing the frayed edges of InuYasha's raw nerves, he drew a deep breath and waited. “I sure did, but you have to share with Ichisaru . . . no hogging it all for yourself.”

“All right,” Shippou agreed.

InuYasha caught Kagome's hands and carefully dragged her out of the well before standing her on her feet in the thick blanket of snow. “Oi, wench . . . took you long enough.”

She wrinkled her nose at him as she dug into the backpack for the pocky. “I missed you, too, InuYasha,” she murmured distractedly. Dragging out two boxes of the chocolate covered treat, she giggled softly as the two children squealed in delight as they grabbed them and ran off, cackling in giddy happiness.

“Doesn't take much to please them,” she commented.

“Keh.”

She turned to face him, a timid smile on her face. “You waited for me.”

“Yeah . . . Kagome . . . I need to tell you something . . .”

Frowning at the foreboding in his tone, Kagome cautiously nodded and tried to brush off the feeling that she might not want to hear whatever it was he wanted to say. “All right . . .”

He could feel his face warming under her gentle perusal. The worry evident in her expression only made it that much worse. ` _Ah, hell . . . how am I supposed to tell her . . . ?_ ' The longer it took him to speak, the more worried Kagome grew. There wasn't a _good_ way, damn it . . . Was it possible to die of flat-out humiliation?

“You're starting to scare me,” she finally said, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen.

InuYasha shook his head, jamming his arms together inside the folds of his haori. ` _Just say it, baka!_ '

` _Easier said than done_ ,' he thought with a wry grimace as he started walking back toward the village. Kagome followed. “Uh . . . when I went away to look for some answers, I found a cave. I didn't know at the time, but . . . I think she is a butterfly youkai, and I got some of her illusion powder on my sleeve, only I didn't know it.”

“Illusion powder? What does that do?”

He tried to shrug in a nonchalant way. Kagome's frown deepened, and he knew his gesture had failed. “You remember that night in Bokuseno's forest?”

Kagome's skin reddened almost instantly which didn't really help to assuage InuYasha's discomfort at all, especially when the unmistakable change in her scent hit him seconds later. ` _Yeah . . . she remembers it, too_ . . .'

Forcing himself to ignore the lure of her body on his, InuYasha cleared his throat and tried to remember that this was important, and he really did have to tell her . . . “That was . . . the toxin . . . I've been having these dreams, and . . .”

“That's why you . . .” trailing off as her hands flew up to cover her mouth, she stepped back in retreat as a veil of pain fell over her eyes. Instinctively, he caught her arms, pulled her against his chest. He wasn't sure how he knew but somehow he could tell that if he let go of her now, if he let her run away, he'd lose her forever . . . and that was something he didn't dare consider.

“No . . . the dreams didn't make me want to . . .” he sighed and shook his head, wishing this was just a little easier than it really was. “The dreams have always been about you . . . that's why _she_ was able to take your form . . . because it was you.”

The dread, the fear that spawned in the depths of her gaze wrenched at him. He grimaced. “It wasn't . . . ?”

He shook his head again, slowly this time, staring into her eyes, trying to make her understand what he still couldn't say.

“But you said—”

“Keh! I _know_ what the fuck I said, wench . . . I don't know why she showed up, but it wasn't . . . I never . . . damn it.”

Kagome sighed softly, shaking her head and closing her eyes just for a moment. “It wasn't that you said her name . . . it was that you never said . . . mine.”

“Kagome . . .”

She sighed and rubbed her temples as she tried to make sense of his half-sentences and unfinished statements. “I know what I heard.”

“And I know what I dreamed, and I promise you it wasn't Kikyou I was—well, it wasn't, that's all.”

He could feel her gaze on him, as if she were trying to read his mind. Finally she sighed and shrugged offhandedly. “Why didn't you tell me before?”

“Keh,” he snorted, as though he believed she should have known the answer to that question. She sighed, and he had the feeling that she did. “Kaede said that there might be a way to suppress the toxin, but I . . . I wanted to tell you, first.”

“InuYasha?”

He let go of her and started walking again. “What?”

She hurried to walk beside him. “Thank you for telling me.”

He winced. He hadn't told her even half of it . . . and if he had his way about it, he wouldn't be telling her any more of it, either . . .

She slipped her hand into his as they walked along. Staring down at her tiny hand, he allowed himself a little smile, and he gently squeezed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  … I just don't know what to do with that information …


	21. Sealing the Dreams

 

~~ ** _Chapter 21_** ~~  
~ ** _Sealing the Dreams_** ~

 

“I stand by my words, InuYasha. Ye waited too long to counter the toxin,” Kaede stated as Kagome stared straight into the fire, trying to keep her cheeks from pinking. “However, I think there may be a way to bind the toxin's powers that should at least remove the dreams that plague ye.”

InuYasha studiously avoided everyone's gazes as he, too, stared at the flames in the fire pit. “Just spill it, old woman. What do I need to do?”

“Ye need to create a blood bond, InuYasha . . . ye and Kagome must do this, since it is she who appears in your dreams.”

“Blood bond?” InuYasha repeated dubiously. “What the hell does that mean?”

Kaede shook her head and sighed. “We must mix your blood. Kagome . . . have you anything in your time that could hold a small amount of blood to be made into a talisman for InuYasha to wear?”

“I have to _wear_ our blood?” InuYasha cut in with an incredulous growl.

“Aye, InuYasha . . . Now be ye quiet.”

“What if I really wasn't the one in his dreams?” Kagome asked quietly, her gaze shifting from the dancing flames to her hands clasped in her lap. Cheeks reddening as she felt InuYasha's glare boring into her head, she stubbornly refused to acknowledge his irritation with her question

“What the hell does that mean, bitch? I told you it was you, damn it, and—”

“Then the binding will not work . . . and we would know as much tomorrow if InuYasha still suffered the dreams this night.”

InuYasha reigned in his impulse to growl in answer to that.

“I'm sure we have something that would work. I'll go ask Mama,” Kagome said as she started to rise.

“Kagome, there are a few things I should go over with ye before we go forward with this plan,” Kaede remarked.

“But—”

“Forget it, wench. I'll go.” With that, InuYasha shot to his feet and stomped out of the hut.

“Miroku, why don't ye make sure that we have the necessary supplies?” Kaede requested. Miroku nodded and hurried out of the hut, too.

“Why do I have the feeling that you wanted to talk to me alone?” Kagome asked quietly.

Kaede smiled. “I did. I wanted to tell you that I've heard of another way to break the toxin's control . . . however, I didn't think it was one ye would welcome hearing in front of the others.”

“What do you mean?”

Kaede seemed to be picking her words very carefully. “InuYasha told ye of his dreams, aye?”

Kagome nodded slowly.

“Then ye know . . . the other way to break the toxin would be for the two of ye to act out his . . . dreams.”

Kagome frowned even as her cheeks reddened a little bit more. “Kissing wouldn't be . . . so bad . . .”

Kaede chuckled softly. “'Tis my understanding it was a bit more than kissing ye were about in those dreams, child.”

“ . . . _What?_ ”

Kaede sighed. “I take it he did not tell ye the extent of his dreams.”

Her face was almost painfully flushed, and Kagome was having distinct difficulty breathing. “Uh . . . no . . .”

“From what we know, the butterfly youkai's toxin can only magnify whatever thoughts were already there. This one, apparently, brings to mind his deepest desires . . . ones that he might have even kept hidden from himself.”

“I don't think I want to know this,” Kagome muttered, pressing her hands against her flaming cheeks. “How embarrassing . . . who all knows?”

“Miroku and myself . . .” Kaede actually smiled. “This is a good sign, child. It means that he desires you as his mate, despite his obstinacy to admit as much.”

“Oh, kami . . . Miroku knows?”

Kaede nodded. “I didn't think ye would welcome this option being presented in front of everyone.”

Kagome managed a weak smile. “Thanks, Kaede . . . you're right . . .”

In truth, Kagome wasn't sure what she ought to think of the entire thing. On the one hand, she was completely and utterly mortified . . . bad enough that she had believed that she'd been kissing him in his dreams, but to be told that she'd apparently done much, much more than that . . . ` _How embarrassing_ . . .' On the other hand, though . . . was Kaede right? Did it mean that InuYasha wanted more from their relationship than just being friends?

For some reason, that thought made her heart leap. ` _You shouldn't be happy about this, Kagome! Chances are good that whatever you were doing in these dreams had to have been ecchi at best, if he wouldn't even tell you about them_ . . .'

Yet the lingering doubt still whispered in the recesses of her mind . . . ` _If he had been dreaming about me . . . why had he said Kikyou's name?_ '

Still . . . ecchi or not, the memory of his kisses set off a strange chain reaction, and Kagome was shocked to see her hands shaking quite noticeably in her lap.

“Go cleanse and meditate, Kagome. Sango will help you. You must be completely pure when we draw your blood or this may only make things worse for InuYasha.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha hopped out of the well with a scowl on his face and a small brown paper bag crumpled in his hand. Sprinting back toward the village, he snorted in self-disgust. ` _At least it can't get any worse than that_ ,' he thought with an inward wince. It was one thing to ask Kagome's mother for help. It was something else altogether to tell her exactly why he needed a small glass vial . . .

 

“ _Let me see if I understand this . . . you need a small glass vial because you have to have a talisman of Kagome's blood?_ ”

“ _And mine,” he grumbled as he stared at the kitchen table and tried to hide his blush_.

“ _May I ask why you would need Kagome's blood?_ ”

_He winced. True, she was taking it much better than he thought she would. Still . . . “I got infected by some butterfly youkai. It's for the cure_.”

_She looked like she knew that InuYasha wasn't telling her everything. His glower darkened. “Why Kagome's blood?_ ”

“ _She's the one I've been . . . she's been in my dreams. A lot_.”

_Mrs. Higurashi cleared her throat. “I see . . .” Standing up slowly, she moved over to rifle through the cupboards. “I have a few I saved from candy flavorings . . . They're clean . . . will this work?_ ”

_InuYasha stared at the tiny bottle she handed him. “I think so . . . the old woman_ _—_ _Kaede_ _—_ _didn't say how much blood_ . . .”

_She stuck a few of them into a small brown paper bag and set it on the table in front of him. “InuYasha . . . these dreams . . . do they . . . bother you?_ ”

_Why did he have a feeling that she knew what his dreams were? He made a face and shrugged. “Well, I . . . I can't sleep right, and_ . . .”

_Mrs. Higurashi nodded slowly. “You'd probably better get those back to the past then. Take care of my daughter_.”

_“Keh,” he said as he snatched the bag and got the hell out of the house_.

With a sigh, he slowed down. In the week since Kikyou's death, it had just gotten to be a little too much to deal with. As if it weren't bad enough that he couldn't forget what he'd seen, couldn't forget the look on Kikyou's face, to have the dreams that both frightened and thrilled him . . . Something had to give. If he could get those dreams under control, maybe he could straighten the rest of it out in his mind.

It was a vicious cycle. On the one hand, he needed to find this woman who had killed Kikyou. Avenging her would also remove whatever threat she might post to Kagome. On the other hand, the thing that really worried him was that, if this binding didn't work, he would, in effect, be hunting Kagome, and he just wasn't sure he could do that. He didn't know if he could possibly face anyone—youkai, human, whatever—that looked and smelled so much like her.

He shook his head. It was impossible to separate the things in his mind. Guilt was the hardest thing to deal with. Guilt that he hadn't been able to save Kikyou. Guilt that he'd even considered that Kagome could do such a thing. Guilt that he hadn't felt more than the sadness at the loss of a friend when Kikyou died. Guilt that he'd almost started to look forward to those dreams of Kagome. Guilt that one thing led back to the other and there didn't seem to be a damn thing he could do to stop any of it, at all. Most of all, though, was the guilt that Kikyou's death had led him to realize one very important thing, and that was how desperately he needed to be with . . . Kagome.

The image of Kagome, so angry, so full of rage, flashed through his head again. ` _I hate you!_ '

He winced. Knowing it hadn't really been her didn't make the words hurt any less. In his mind . . . could he separate Kagome from the illusionary form of the youkai? InuYasha swallowed hard. He wasn't sure if he could . . . and if he couldn't, how could he keep his promises?

With a frustrated growl, InuYasha broke into a sprint again. First things first. Get rid of the dreams so he could concentrate on finding the one responsible for them . . .

` _I have to keep the promise I made to Kikyou . . . I have to do it before I can consider making another promise to Kagome_ . . .' he sighed. In the last few days he'd come to some realizations. The first one was that, for reasons that he'd never understand, Kagome really did seem to want to be with him, and he . . . He smiled, just a little. He wanted to be with her, too.

But regardless of what Kikyou had said, he still had to honor his word to her. He had to avenge her. Only then would he be free, only then would he be truly worthy of being with Kagome . . .

“InuYasha . . . did ye not think it would be in your own best interests to tell Kagome what manner of dreams ye were suffering?” Kaede asked mildly as he stepped into her hut.

InuYasha dropped the paper bag in her lap. “Keh. Does it matter? She was still in them.”

“It does matter. It matters a lot. In any case, she now knows that they were not innocent dreams . . .”

“Eh?”

Kaede opened the bag and peeked inside. “Ye heard me. Now go cleanse yourself for the ritual. And no sleeping.”

“Keh! You old bag!” he snarled as he turned on his heel and stomped out of the hut again. ` _Kagome . . . knows . . . ?_ ' Ears smashing against his head as he sprinted out of the village again, he made a face and wondered just how long it'd be before Kagome demanded more answers about his dreams . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“You're awfully quiet, Kagome.”

“What?” Kagome asked as she glanced up into Sango's worried face. “Oh . . . it's nothing . . . just . . .”

Sango shook her head. “If it were nothing you'd not be so quiet. Miroku says you are going to perform a binding rite?”

Kagome nodded. “Yeah, but . . . I'm not so sure it will work . . .”

“Why not?”

Kagome's gaze fell to the brush she held clutched tightly in her hand. “InuYasha says he's been having dreams . . . about me . . . about us . . . but . . .” Frowning, she sighed and shrugged. “When we were alone . . . when we went to see Bokuseno . . . I woke up, and he was kissing me, but he . . . he said Kikyou's name.”

“Oh, Kagome . . . are you sure it wasn't a mistake?”

“I don't know . . . I guess I will, though. Kaede said that if he were thinking of someone other than me, the ritual won't work.”

“If InuYasha knows that, then he has nothing to hide, right?”

Kagome smiled weakly. “I suppose.” She shook her head slowly. “I'm supposed to be clearing my mind, meditating. It's not working.”

Sango winced. “Just clear your mind and think of something pleasant . . . or try to.”

Kagome sighed but did as she was told. Clearing her mind? That might take a bit more effort . . .

Drawing a deep breath, Kagome tried to think of happy things, beautiful things . . . ` _Watching the sun rise and set . . . Seeing the moonlight on the water . . . Seeing InuYasha's eyes when he lets his guard down_ . . .' The final image was the most beautiful in her mind. Settling on it, she smiled, relaxed. Would he ever realize the power he had over her emotions? She wrinkled her nose. ` _Kami, I hope not_ . . .'

She sighed. ` _This isn't working . . . focus, Kagome . . . Kaede said I have to purify my mind. Pure thoughts . . . pure thoughts . . ._ '

The baby shifted, and she smiled again. That was a pure thought . . . Imagining the happiness on Sango and Miroku's faces when they met their child . . . that was beautiful. The awe on InuYasha's face when he'd felt the baby move was beautiful. Deliberately blocking the rest of that memory, Kagome tried to focus on the happiness that he'd shown just before he had remembered whose baby it really was.

Another memory came to mind, and Kagome frowned as she remembered. She awoke that night . . . InuYasha was sitting under the window sleeping with his arms around Tetsusaiga, and that was normal enough. But he had been moaning softly, whining a little . . . disturbing sounds that had twisted around her insides until she felt as though she were melting . . . and then he had mumbled her name . . . ` _Those dreams . . . had he . . . ? About me . . . ? Then he wasn't lying at all, was he?_ '

That incredible warmth, those feelings like her insides were shifting, the wave of heat that permeated her very bones rushed over her. entirely too nice, too tumultuous, too wanton, Kagome squeezed her eyes closed a little tighter as she shook her head, trying to dispel the consuming burn that had ignited under her skin. ` _Pure thoughts, Kagome . . . Kaede said you'd make it worse if they're not entirely pure, remember?_ '

With new resolve, Kagome focused on sakura blossoms in the springtime, on the first snowfall of the season, of anything and everything that seemed pure as she struggled to keep InuYasha out of her mind.

And yet the tiny voice in the back of her mind kept asking her . . . ` _Just what, exactly, were we doing in his dreams?_ '

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome held the short knife in her trembling hand and winced as she lowered the point against InuYasha's finger. ` _I . . . I don't think I can do this_ ,' she thought as she shook her head.

“Kagome, ye must do it,” Kaede said quietly.

Kagome adjusted her grip on the knife and stole a peek at InuYasha. Staring away, he looked almost bored except for the light flush on his cheeks. She stifled a sigh. ` _I can do this . . . he needs this . . . and it's just a little cut . . . he'll be healed by morning_ . . .'

Squeezing her eyes closed, she gathered her courage and stuck the tip of the blade into the pad of InuYasha's finger. The hanyou didn't even flinch as she lay the knife aside and squeezed the wound, coaxing blood into the tiny vial. When she'd filled it half way, she let go of his finger and set the bottle aside.

“Okay, done,” she said with a sigh of relief.

“All right, InuYasha . . . now ye do the same to Kagome . . . though perhaps it would be better to use your claw, instead.”

InuYasha glanced over at Kaede then hesitantly took Kagome's hand. Poising his claw over her index finger, Kagome tried to focus on the fire in the pit instead of the warmth of his hand on hers. Vaguely it registered that his hand was shaking, and when his claw touched the soft flesh of her finger, she realized that it was shaking, too.

Moments ticked away as he sat there holding her hand. With a soft gasp, he let go. “Damn it, I can't,” he growled.

Kagome shifted her gaze to him and blinked at the complete self-disgust on his features as he glared at his claws. “You can use the knife, can't you?”

“Fuck . . . if I could use the knife, I could use my claws, bitch,” he snarled.

She shook her head. “But . . .” A look of sudden comprehension followed by one of deep hurt settled on her face. “I was right, wasn't I? You weren't . . . it wasn't me.”

His eyes flew to meet hers, irritation mingled with confusion in his gaze. “What? No . . . I swore I'd protect you. I can't _hurt_ you. Don't be stupid. It ain't got nothing to do with Kikyou.”

“You're the one being stupid! Cutting my finger isn't really hurting me, baka!”

“Can't she do it herself?” InuYasha demanded, ignoring Kagome's retort.

Kaede shook her head. “Nay, it must be done by your hand, InuYasha, or it will not work.”

“Unless you _like_ those dreams,” Miroku ventured from his seat across from them.

“Shut the hell up, lecher! That ain't got a damn thing to do with it.”

“Just do it, InuYasha,” Kagome said with a sigh.

“Fine!”

Grabbing her hand again, InuYasha repeated the process of touching his claw to her fingertip and stopping. Kagome could sense his hesitation, his conflicting emotions between wanting to quell the dreams and not wishing to hurt her. A sudden warmth filtered through her as she realized just what it cost him to even consider what, in his mind, was unthinkable, and before she could stop to think about it, she smashed her finger against his claw—hard. He jerked his hand away but not before the damage was done. Kagome brought the bottle to her dripping fingertip and filled the vial the rest of the way.

Kaede took the full bottle and capped it before dipping the top in melted wax to seal it. Shaking it ten times before tying thick string around the sealed lid, she passed the bottle back to Kagome. “Shake it ten times, Kagome, then InuYasha shall do the same.”

Kagome did as she was told, careful of her still-bleeding finger. InuYasha snatched the bottle out of her hand and repeated the process before looping the string over his head and tucking the vial into his undershirt. “That it?” he growled.

“Aye,” Kaede confirmed.

“Good,” InuYasha said with a loud snort before grabbing Kagome and literally dragging her into his lap. She gasped and tried to scoot away. He tightened his arms around her as he held fast to her finger, dabbing away the blood with his haori sleeve. “Stupid wench,” he grumbled. “My claws are sharper than that fucking knife.”

She started to protest but forgot it when the warmth of his lips brushed over the finger.

It didn't occur to her that he had loosened his hold on her enough that she could have gotten up and moved away. Too bemused by his simple gesture, she sat there, staring at him and blushing just a little.

“Does it hurt?” he asked her, his voice soft so that the others wouldn't over hear. Discussing where to look for the butterfly youkai, Miroku, Sango, and Kaede weren't paying the slightest attention to either the hanyou or the miko—or so they thought. Sango hid her smile. Miroku wisely kept his gaze averted though he could see them out of his peripheral vision. Kaede didn't miss it, either. Shippou rolled his eyes. Ichisaru smashed his hands over his smiling mouth.

Kagome shook her head slowly. She doubted anything could really hurt her, at that moment, staring into his eyes as he tried so hard not to look so distressed over her insignificant blood loss.

He didn't look convinced. Ears flattening as he blushed a little, he flinched and ripped off a piece of his undershirt to wrap around her finger. “I'm sorry, Kagome . . .”

“Don't be,” she told him with a gentle smile.

He caught the smile and blushed a little darker. “Keh.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  So I wonder if his dreams will really stop then . . . and what exactly was he dreaming????


	22. Unspoken Promises

 

~~ ** _Chapter 22_** ~~  
~ ** _Unspoken Promises_** ~

 

InuYasha yawned and stretched as he opened his eyes. “What the—?” he mumbled as shifted his eyes shifted to take in the five sets of eyes staring at him in varying degrees of curious interest. One set of eyes was carefully studying the book in her lap though he was able to discern the tinge of pink in her cheeks. “Did I grow horns or something? Stop staring at me!” InuYasha grumbled as he felt his own face reddening.

Miroku shrugged and grinned suddenly. “It would seem that the binding ritual worked.”

“Aye,” Kaede agreed as she stirred a pot of rice next to the fire. “Does this please ye, InuYasha?”

“Keh,” he mumbled.

“Ah, the grouchy hanyou we know best,” Sango remarked with a smile.

“Good,” Shippou said as he accepted a bowl of rice from Kaede. “He _smells_ normal.”

Ichisaru skittered over to him and hopped up on InuYasha's knee. Frowning as he peered into the hanyou's face, the monkey finally hopped down. “Yep, he does,” Ichisaru seconded as he took his bowl from Kaede and sat down to eat.

InuYasha growled in response to that as he intercepted the quick glance Kagome sent him. She smiled faintly before forcing her attention back to the book in her lap. For reasons he didn't want to think about, that he'd just had a blissfully dreamless sleep for the first time in months didn't please him nearly as much as it should have.

“Have you all been staring at me all fucking morning?” he hollered as he shot to his feet and stomped toward the door.

“Not _all_ morning,” Miroku drawled.

“Just since Kagome woke up and said you left her alone all night.”

InuYasha didn't trust himself to speak as he slowly turned his head to stare at the girl in question. Still staring down at her book, the only hint that she'd heard any of them was the tell-tale pinking in her cheeks. “I'm outta here,” InuYasha grumbled as he wheeled around to stalk out the door again.

“InuYasha!”

He stopped and waited as Kagome ran up behind him.

“I didn't say _exactly_ what it sounded like . . .”

InuYasha snorted and started walking again, slow enough for Kagome to stay in step with him as he headed for his forest. “I figured,” he remarked tightly. Since he distinctly remembered falling asleep against the wall with Kagome cuddled in his lap, he had a feeling that their friends had probably stayed awake well into the night to make sure that InuYasha wasn't having any of those disturbing dreams.

There wasn't really any excuse for it other than the fact that after the ritual, he had just been so damn tired that he hadn't been able to help falling asleep. It had been weeks since he'd had a really good night's rest, and he could only be thankful that the talisman obviously worked. So why wasn't he happier about that? ` _Keh! Don't be fucking stupid! You're_ thrilled, _baka!_ '

“You were sleeping so peacefully,” Kagome commented with a gentle smile. “No one had the heart to wake you up this morning.”

“Keh,” he retorted.

“I slept pretty well, myself,” she ventured as she held her coat closed against the brisk morning air. “InuYasha . . .”

He stopped when she did. She looked like she wanted to say something but wasn't sure how to bring it up. Opening her mouth, she suddenly snapped it closed again as her head turned, the light of suspicion dawning in her gaze. His chin lifted as he sensed it, too . . . Youkai.

“Get behind me,” he demanded, reaching for her hand and tugging her behind his back. She did as she was told. He stepped forward, hand on Tetsusaiga's hilt, toward the edge of the forest just outside the village.

A lumbering form—a giant scorpion youkai—scooted out of the barren trees into InuYasha's path. “The Shikon no Tama . . . give it to me!”

InuYasha cracked his knuckles. “Over my dead body,” he remarked casually.

Waving its poisonous tail dangerously in the air, InuYasha easily hopped out of the way as the youkai plunged the tip of the appendage into the earth where InuYasha had been standing. “The girl has the jewel? You leave it in the hands of a weak little girl?” the youkai taunted.

“Sure do,” InuYasha shot back as he lunged at the youkai. “Think you can take me?”

“Hanyou! Get out of my way!”

“ _Sankon-tetsusou!_ ” InuYasha bellowed as he sliced through the youkai's front leg.

The youkai screeched in pain. The tail rose and fell with a vicious abandon as the youkai tried to impale InuYasha time and again.

InuYasha laughed outright at the youkai's clumsy attempts to stab him. “You missed me,” he taunted as he hopped out of the way again.

The scorpion lurched forward, swinging its tail as it tried to compensate for the injured leg. With a menacing laugh, the beast raised its tail and pointed it at Kagome. She scooted out of the way but not before the scorpion unleashed a jet of poisonous acid. InuYasha barely had time to react. Barreling toward her, he managed to shield her from the spray, catching the brunt of the acid in the center of his chest. With a sharp hiss, he stumbled back as the fire rat haori and undershirt beneath dissolved under the stream of poison.

“Give me the Shikon no Tama,” the scorpion wheezed as it tried to close in on Kagome. She darted back behind a tree and shrieked as the youkai unleashed another round of poison. “Are you so willing to die?”

Kagome shrieked as the jet of toxic acid hit the tree she was hiding behind. The tree started to melt.

“Stay the hell away from her!” InuYasha snarled as he shot forward, drawing Tetsusaiga as he sprinted to intercept the scorpion youkai. “ _Kaze no Kizu!_ ”

The Wind Scar flashed out in a flash of whitish yellow flames. With a terrible shriek, the scorpion youkai disintegrated in the waves of power and exploded in a puff of dust.

“Kagome!”

She poked out from behind what remained of the dissolving tree. With a sharp cry, she ran out from behind the tree and threw herself against InuYasha's chest. “Keh! Don't be stupid, wench! I'm still covered with that scorpion's poison, remember?” he growled as he caught her and pushed her back. “Trying to get yourself poisoned?”

Shaking her head quickly, Kagome stumbled backward and nearly fell. InuYasha caught her. “Sorry . . . I wasn't thinking . . .”

InuYasha snorted and let go of her hand. “Keh!” Stopping his tirade as quickly as he had started it, he glowered at her though his tone was gruffly gentle when he asked, “You all right?”

She drew a deep breath and nodded. “Yes.”

Turning away, InuYasha started back toward the village but veered off to the right—toward the river.

“Where are you going?” Kagome finally asked.

“ _You're_ going back to Kaede's before you get sick . . . _I'm_ going to wash this crap off me.”

“But . . . I have some unscented soap . . . I bought it for you . . . Let me go get it.”

“Wench!” Stopping and turning to pin her with a glower, InuYasha made a face and shook his head. “I don't need it, and you don't need to come with me. Unlike you, _I_ don't need protection while I take a bath.”

Her cheeks pinked but she stubbornly shook her head. “You need soap, baka . . . I'll send Miroku with it.”

InuYasha rolled his eyes and headed off again. ` _You really are a baka . . . you should have let her come along_ . . .'

` _Keh_ ,' he thought as he pulled off what was left of his haori. ` _Shuddup_.'

After peeking back over his shoulder to make sure Kagome really hadn't followed him, InuYasha finished disrobing before wading into the frigid water. Brushing aside his misplaced feelings of wistfulness, InuYasha winced as he rinsed the remaining poison acid off his chest. The skin was red and starting to blister.

By the time Miroku stepped up beside the river and tossed him the bar of soap, blisters had formed and the soap did little other than pop the blisters as InuYasha sucked in a sharp breath and ordered himself not to let the monk see how much pain they were causing him. ` _Damn . . . I hate poison youkai . . . Saimyoushou. . . scorpions . . . Sesshoumaru . . . bastards, every last one_ . . .'

He sighed as he dunked himself under the water to rinse off the burning soap.

Then again . . . ` _Wonder if Kagome's got anything that might help . . . they hurt a little . . . and she's always rattling on about infection_ . . .'

When he stood up again, the plan was formed.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Grinding her teeth together in irritation, Hisadaicho stared at the wispy smoke. ` _Damn him! How could he have countered the toxin powder?_ '

Conjuring the trailing vapors once more, she narrowed her gaze. ` _Thinks he can outwit me? Absolutely not. I won't have it_ . . .'

In the brief time, in the clearing, when he'd been captured in her barrier, she'd discerned enough about him. Coddled by the first miko and then the second . . . InuYasha didn't begin to comprehend how much both women cared for him, did he?

The barrier had given her the necessary insight. That the undead miko had to die was unfortunate. Hisadaicho had a feeling that the one resurrected and known as Kikyou might have been a formidable adversary against Kagome. Too bad she couldn't be swayed . . . and too bad Kagome had to possess all of her soul in order for the plan to succeed.

It hadn't mattered that the foolish hanyou had unwittingly subjected himself to her toxins. It had simply made the subterfuge that much simpler. He would come in useful before it was finished. What perplexed her was the hanyou's sense of urgency about the miko known as Kagome. She was obviously with child, and yet in the hanyou's mind, she was still untouched. How could that be?

Hisadaicho turned away from the swirling mist with a frustrated sigh. ` _That girl . . . Kagome . . . Could she have figured out my toxin? Could she be the reason why it has been rendered useless?_ '

` _Impossible! There's no way that little girl could stand against me! She's just a child, herself_ . . .'

What she had discovered from her moments of probing into InuYasha's mind was that this cherished girl was the heart and soul of the hanyou and his friends. Devoted to her without question, almost blindly, he and the others would die for her. ` _It could easily be arranged_ . . .'

Hisadaicho paced the floor as the servants entered with trays of food.

This girl Kagome was _too_ good, _too_ pure . . . ` _How to taint an untainted heart?_ '

Dismissing the servants with a quick nod, Hisadaicho made no move to eat. Staring at the array with little real interest, a determined glow lit behind her lavender eyes. ` _I'll get you, my pretty . . . and your little dog, too_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome looked up when Miroku stepped into Kaede's hut with the soggy bar of soap and no InuYasha. She laid the soap on a folded washcloth to dry out and turned her questioning stare on the ex-monk. “Where is he?” she asked, trying for an air of nonchalance.

Miroku squinted and raised his eyebrows. “You know InuYasha . . . Kagome, that poison acid . . . it got him pretty severely. Do you have anything for that in your first aid kit? He swears it doesn't hurt, but he took off in the direction of Goshinboku . . .”

“How severely?” she asked as she dug into her bag for the medicine.

“Broken blisters, and his haori is still in tatters.”

Kagome gave up and grabbed the entire kit before handing it to Miroku while she shrugged on her coat again. She snatched up a blanket before taking back the first aid kit and dashing out the door. ` _Baka . . . he could have at least come inside so I could bandage him in the hut! How typical! He can't ever admit that he's in pain or that he needs help_ . . .'

To her surprise, she saw the flash of silver hair, the crimson hakama before she reached the edge of the forest. “InuYasha!”

He stopped and swung around to face her, his scowl in place as he waited for her to catch up to him.

“Why didn't you come inside? You can't walk around out here like that! You'll freeze!” she scolded.

“Keh. I'm fine.”

She glared up at him as she pushed his arms away from his chest. “You're not okay . . . kami . . .” Wincing as she stared in horror at the rent and raw flesh, she couldn't help the small cry that slipped from her lips as she raised her hands but didn't touch him. “Sit down so I can bandage them,” she said, her voice trembling. She knew how painful one blister could be . . . His entire chest was covered with welled up blisters or ones that had just popped . . .

He did as she instructed, and Kagome draped the blanket over his bare shoulders as he dropped the wrecked haori on the ground. She dug out the antibacterial burn ointment and squeezed a huge glob out onto her shaking fingers. “This might hurt,” she apologized as she hesitantly reached out to smooth the medicine on his skin.

He managed to keep from wincing as she carefully applied the salve. She lifted the vial of blood to move it aside but paused, staring at it with a slight frown. “InuYasha . . .”

“What?”

“Our blood isn't mixed.”

Dropping his gaze to the bottle in her hand, he took it and lifted it to see what she meant. As she had said, the blood had separated into two layers, and though it was impossible to tell whose was whose, the overall effect was strange. “Is it supposed to do that?”

Kagome shook her head as she placed sheets of nonstick padding on his stomach before wrapping him up with roll of gauze. “Should we ask Kaede?”

“In a minute,” he agreed as he continued to stare at the vial.

“But this is serious . . . what if it didn't really work?”

“Keh! Of course it did! You slept on my lap last night, didn't you?”

She blinked and nodded. “Yeah, but—”

He snorted. “Then you ought to know it worked.”

“And how would I really know that?” she countered softly.

He blushed. “Never fucking mind. You would have known if it didn't, damn it.”

She started to say something but frowned as she stared into his face. Pressing her hand against his forehead, Kagome gasped and drew away. “You're burning up . . .”

“Keh. Poison, wench, remember?”

“Come on,” she coaxed, tugging on his hands until he stood up. He swayed slightly. Kagome caught him and dragged his arm over her shoulder. “You should have told me about this earlier,” she told him.

InuYasha tried to pull away. “Damn it—”

Kagome held on. “Stop being so stubborn for once and let me help you.”

He looked like he wanted to argue. In the end he sighed and let her help him back to Kaede's hut.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“It seems as though InuYasha's reluctance to harm ye caused the binding to function improperly.”

Kagome shook her head. “What does that mean?”

Kaede and Miroku exchanged significant looks. “If I understand what you're saying, Kaede, it means that the binding works but only for one night.”

“What?”

Kaede shook her head. “To keep the effect, ye must perform the ritual mixing, Kagome. Both ye and InuYasha must shake the vial ten times each night to remix the blood. No more, no less.”

“ _Every_ night?”

Kaede nodded. “So it would seem. Should either of ye forget, the protection against the dreams will not be complete for the night.”

Kagome opened and closed her mouth a few times as confusion blossomed in her expression as she shifted her gaze to stare at the reclining hanyou. He must have really felt bad because he hadn't spoken the entire time. She reached over and pulled the damp cloth off him before she felt his forehead again. Still hot with fever, she gently wet the washcloth and wrung it out before replacing it on his head again. “Then that means we can't be apart at all?”

“So it would seem . . .” Miroku remarked with a sigh. “Best shake that now, before InuYasha falls asleep.”

Kagome did then tapped InuYasha's cheek. Groggy golden eyes opened just a little to pin her with an accusing glower. “You need to shake this,” she told him, shoving the vial into his hand. “Just ten times, okay?”

With a low growl, the hanyou did as she instructed the dropped the talisman and closed his eyes again.

“Ye dare not forget,” Kaede said sternly as she got to her feet and retrieved the water bucket.

“I'll come with you,” Miroku offered. “Kagome . . . perhaps you ought to go visit with Sango . . . the fever is likely caused by the poison, but with the baby . . .”

Kagome shook her head. “InuYasha doesn't get sick. It is the poison, I'm sure of it. I'll stay here. We're fine.”

Miroku looked like he wanted to argue with her but he let the subject drop and nodded instead. “All right . . . I'll be back.”

Following Kaede out of the hut, Miroku frowned as he took the bucket from the old miko. The bright sunlight glinted off the snow with a shimmering light. “Something else bothers you, doesn't it?”

Kaede sighed. “Ye are a shrewd one, Miroku,” she acknowledged with a nod. “I fear that the mixing of their blood may have repercussions we know nothing of. Should they forget to remix it . . .”

Miroku's expression turned more thoughtful as he pondered Kaede's dire prediction. “What do you think might happen?”

Kaede shifted her stare to meet Miroku's trouble gaze. “I mean there is much mischief to be had in the mixing of blood. Whether there will be any true side effects or not remains to be seen. Best to keep a close eye on the two.”

Miroku nodded his agreement. “All right. We will.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _Baka . . . how could you be so careless?_ '

Flattening his ears against his own thoughts, InuYasha kept his eyes closed as Kagome's cool hand pressed against his forehead. He hadn't been resting, at all, simply listening to the conversation around him. His own reticence to hurt Kagome at all had meant that the binding didn't work? And just why didn't the idea that he was now officially stuck with Kagome bother him in the least? ` _Don't answer that_.'

His next thought was that his plan had been a dismal failure, too. Not long after stomping away from Miroku—after making sure that the monk got a really good look at the blisters all over his chest—he had started to realize that the poison had seeped into his system along with the acid that had eaten away most of the front of his haori. The monk had played right into InuYasha's plan. He'd done exactly what InuYasha had hoped and had told Kagome about the injuries right away.

Unfortunately even if it hadn't been his intention to actually reach Goshinboku before Kagome caught up with him, there had been no way he really would have. The poison had already ignited a fever under his skin by the time Kagome called out to him.

He supposed it wasn't any worse than most human ailments. Kagome had a worse fever the one time he had willingly taken her back to her time. The thing that saved InuYasha from actually being poisoned directly had to be his youkai blood, and for that he was thankful.

He wrinkled his nose. His plan hadn't been a complete failure, he supposed. Kagome was here with him and giving him her undivided attention, at least since the lecher and the old woman had left the hut . . . It may not have been exactly the sort of attention he had been after to start with, but it'd do . . . for now.

The stillness in the hut was broken only by Kagome's soft breathing as she fussed over him. It was remarkable, really. Normally he dared not allow himself such a thing. ` _I'm not a weak, pathetic human . . . I don't need to be coddled or anything_.'

Still, feeling Kagome's calm, her sense of peace, her kindness . . . it was a comforting thing. ` _Keh! That's just your fever talking_.'

` _I knew there was a good reason I hated poison youkai_ ,' he thought with an inward grimace. ` _They can all go straight to hell . . . and I won't miss a damn one of them_.'

If he were honest with himself, he'd have to allow that his main source of irritation at the moment wasn't being feverish or being subjected to Kagome's constant attention. It was the idea that his search for the youkai responsible for the toxins in his system would have to be postponed, and even though he hadn't even considered dragging Kagome along with him, he had to admit, too, that he rather liked the idea of her tagging along. Unfortunately, if that was the case, he might well have to postpone the search until she'd delivered the pup, or he'd have to go alone and suffer the dreams while he was gone.

Rolling over on the pallet, InuYasha shoved aside the little voice in the back of his mind that laughed at him. ` _Baka . . . you're not so upset that the binding didn't work completely because you like those dreams_.'

` _Keh! I do not._ '

` _Keh! You do, too . . . you_ like _what Kagome does to you in those dreams, and since you're too stubborn to claim her, then they're the closest thing you have to the real thing_.'

All right, so maybe a small part of him did like it . . . was that so terrible?

` _Yes, you hentai, because you know that Kagome really doesn't know what's happening in those dreams, what you see her doing to you sometimes when you look at her_ . . .'

“InuYasha, do you need something?” Kagome asked softly when a soft whine escaped him despite his best efforts to keep from doing it.

“Keh.”

Her fingers gently smoothed back his hair. “Are you sure? How's your chest?”

“I'll live,” he remarked in a dry tone.

She sighed. “You can go to sleep,” she ventured. “You're safe here.”

“You talk too much.”

She giggled. “I'll take care of you, all right?”

He didn't answer as she kept fingering his hair, idly rubbing his ears. Balancing between the invitation of sleep and the will to stay awake, to savor the feel of her touch, he couldn't summon the strength to open his eyes. ` _I'll . . . protect . . . Kagome_ . . .'

He drifted off to sleep with the rare feeling of absolute security wrapped around him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **'I'll get you, my pretty . . . and your little dog, too . . .'** Ok, this was a request from… someone… I think I know who but am not positive… in any case, I couldn't work it into Chronicles, so here you go . . . laugh it up, fuzzball . . .  
>  **Saimyoushou:** most-fierce, victory … Naraku's poisonous insects.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  …Damn it …  
> ==========


	23. Playing the Game

 

~~ ** _Chapter 23_** ~~  
~ ** _Playing the Game_** ~

 

Stepping out of the forest into the early evening shadows to gaze across the lands that he considered his domain, Sesshoumaru sensed the unwelcome presence. Without deigning to comment on it, he deliberately strode forward, stopping on the crest of a rising hill as he continued his silent perusal of the Western Lands. ` _All is as it should be . . . except for her, of course. Deceitful bitch . . . what does she seek?_ '

Turning with a flourish as Mokomoko-sama billowed behind him on the cold breeze, Sesshoumaru continued to ignore her as he strode back toward the distant castle. Uninterested in why she would have come all this way to see him, he made no move to stop, didn't care if he seemed abrupt or rude. Had he ever cared?

“Does your sense of smell fail you, Inu no Taisho?”

Sesshoumaru didn't stop, didn't even spare her a parting glance. “Do you seek my acknowledgement?”

“Ooh . . . the pretty puppy has fangs?”

His answer was no more than a shifting of his gaze to meet hers as he kept walking.

She hurried her step to catch up with the inu-youkai. “No pleasantries at all, O great Lord of the Dogs?”

“The pleasantries extend so far as my not killing you for entering my domain unbidden, Hisadaicho.”

Making him a mocking bow, Hisadaicho smiled coyly. “Sesshoumaru-sama, I beg you forgive me . . . I require information that I hoped you could give me?”

Sesshoumaru stopped and regarded Hisadaicho for a long moment, gaze cool, unrelenting. “And why would I give information to the likes of you?”

She offered him a tight smile. “Surely there's something you want from me?”

Meeting her challenging gaze, Sesshoumaru started moving forward again. “Not a thing.”

“Are you always so cold to one who has saved your human girl?”

“When the reek of those who took her still lingered in your castle? This Sesshoumaru owes you nothing.”

She chuckled. “Those were but a renegade band. They acted on their own accord . . . and if you didn't believe me, then why did you linger in my home?”

He didn't answer. Sensing her rising irritation, he very nearly smiled. ` _Easily predicted, your kind_ . . .'

“At least hear my question, I beg of you.” Taking his silence as compliance, Hisadaicho forced a thin smile. “Your brother's miko . . . what do you know of her?”

The question surprised him. Sesshoumaru didn't show it, but he couldn't help but wonder just what this woman's interest in the young miko really was. “You'd do better to ask InuYasha, though I doubt he would tell you anything, either. Then again, there are certain things the two of you share in common . . . are there not?”

Her smile widened, as though he had amused her. “Intriguing . . . you mean because we are both hanyou?”

“I have not the time to waste on the likes of you.”

She watched him go, back straight and proud, a deliberate slowness in his movements. “Kagura.”

Sesshoumaru stopped and slowly turned back to face her again. Finally having gained his full attention if the intensity behind his gaze meant anything, Hisadaicho grinned wickedly as she pulled a feather from her kimono. His eyes flared wide in recognition, staring at the feather and perhaps seeing a ghost from his past. “Do you miss her?”

Sesshoumaru didn't answer as he slowly reached out and plucked the feather out of Hisadaicho's fingertips.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Will you stop fussing?”

Kagome shook her head slowly and shoved the thermometer into InuYasha's mouth. “Don't bite it, InuYasha!” she insisted as the hanyou bit down on the fragile glass instrument.

“I'm fine, damn it,” he muttered around the thermometer sticking out of his mouth.

Staring at her watch, Kagome completely missed the menacing glower on InuYasha's face. “Shh, I have to time this,” she remarked absently.

The only thing InuYasha could be truly thankful for was that Miroku and Sango had been called away to a neighboring village to take care of a rat youkai infestation, and that Kaede had taken the brats to gather some winter herbs and roots, leaving them alone in blissful peace and quiet—until Kagome had pulled out that damn thermometer, anyway . . .

Rolling her eyes when she had to tug the thermometer loose, Kagome shook it once then narrowed her eyes as she tried to read it. “Yep, you're normal . . . as normal as you ever were, anyway.”

InuYasha snorted as he jerked his regenerated haori on. “Keh! I told you that, wench. If you'd just listen—”

“I'm just making sure since you always say you're fine, even when you aren't.”

Three days' worth of fever had been almost unbearable. Had it not been for Kagome's constant attention, it would have been more than he could have withstood. As it was, InuYasha was secretly glad that Kagome had won the numerous arguments about the risk of catching his fever. She'd yelled Miroku into submission. She'd flat out refused to give in to Sango's requests that she leave InuYasha's care to them. She'd even glared at Kaede over it. If he had truly been ill, he would have been the first to send her away. She knew, like he did, that the fever had been caused by the scorpion's poison, and he didn't feel the least bit sorry that she'd barely left his side in the three-day-long ordeal.

Now that he was feeling normal again, though, and had been since yesterday, he didn't want to lie around anymore. Unused to such long bouts of inactivity, his body was sore, his legs hurt, and all he wanted was a nice, long run through the forest.

“Let me see your chest.”

“Hentai wench.”

She gasped and flushed a pretty shade of pink. “I am not! I just want to make sure your wounds are healed,” she countered.

“Keh! It looks the same as it did this morning, and it was fine then.”

“It wasn't. You still had a few blisters—”

“Not anymore.”

“Stubborn baka . . . I still think you should lay down today and regain the rest of your strength,” Kagome pointed out.

“I ain't dead,” he grumbled. “I did that all day yesterday because you said I still had a fever—which I didn't.”

She waved off his blustering and stuck the thermometer back into the thin padded case. “You did, too.”

“Keh.”

“I was concerned, that's all. It doesn't hurt to be safe, you know.”

Standing up slowly, InuYasha grabbed Tetsusaiga and headed for the doorway, ignoring Kagome's irritated scowl. He paused before pushing past the bamboo mat to gaze back at her. “I'm going for a run. Coming with me or not?”

She wrinkled her nose stubbornly. “I can't keep up with you on my better days,” she stiffly informed him.

He shrugged. “So I'll have to carry you.”

She still looked dubious, at best.

“Suit yourself. When the others get back, though, it wouldn't surprise me if they want to spend the rest of the day with their fucking hands all over your stomach.”

Kagome appeared to think that over and quickly stood up to grab her coat. InuYasha hid his smile. While it didn't bother her when they felt the pup move, it did get to her after hours and hours of having their hands on her, especially when she was trying to sleep, like last night.

She followed him outside and wrapped her arms around his neck when he carefully picked her up. “I feel sort of mean,” Kagome admitted as InuYasha broke into a light run. “It shouldn't bother me, should it? That they want to be close to the baby?”

InuYasha snorted. Kagome ought to know his thoughts on the subject by now. Though he had given in and allowed Miroku to touch Kagome's belly, the monk knew that he was only allowed to do it when InuYasha was there, and that he wasn't allowed to touch any bare skin. “I'd have ripped them both to shreds by now,” he remarked.

Kagome giggled. “Then we should be glad I'm doing this, not you.”

“Keh.”

“Oh! Stop!”

“What now?”

“I have to use the bathroom.”

InuYasha rolled his eyes. “You're fucking kidding me. You spent all morning running off to do that, didn't you?”

“Yeah, let's see you carry around a baby in your stomach and not have to pee constantly, dog-boy,” she shot back.

InuYasha stopped and set her on her feet. “And hurry it up, will you? You'd better get it all out of your system `cause we ain't stopping again till _I_ say so.”

“We'll see if you change your tune . . . if you make me pee on myself, you'll be sorry,” she threatened.

InuYasha's face heated up at her quip, however, and he had to concede the round to her, at least in his head. “Hurry it up, will you?”

“The more you yell at me, the longer it'll take, you know.”

“Keh! It as already taking you forever.”

“Hush!”

Idly staring at the vial of blood suspended from his neck, InuYasha frowned. “So we have to shake this every night?” he hollered to her.

“That's what Kaede said.”

“What happens if we forget to shake it?”

Kagome sighed. “I told you before; you'll probably have more . . . dreams . . .”

` _More dreams, huh . . ._ '

` _Don't even_ think _it_ ,' InuYasha thought with a snort.

Kagome reemerged from the foliage shaking her very red hands. “Cold!” she shivered as she cupped her hands together and blew into them. “I think I have frostbite.”

“What the hell did you do? Roll around in the snow? I thought you had to—”

“I had to wash my hands off, didn't I? The only thing back there was snow.”

InuYasha shook his head, muttering under his breath about worthless humans. Grabbing her roughly, he rubbed her hands between his until she stopped shivering. Then he picked her up again and set off through the trees.

They both fell quiet as he ran. Invigorated by the exercise, InuYasha could feel his mood lifting with every step he took. He felt somehow freed, as though nothing in the world mattered but the movement, the symmetry. Even with Kagome in his arms instead of on his back, the pattern of soothed him, and it must have done the same to her because she laughed.

“InuYasha, can I ask you something?” Kagome finally asked as he slowed to a walk near the hot spring where she loved to bathe in the summertime. Thankful that she hadn't thought to bring her backpack, he figured they were safe enough here. The air was much warmer near the water. He was just glad she wouldn't be whining about taking a bath because in the course of those dreams, this hot spring had been visited more than once, and if he had learned nothing else, it was that a naked Kagome with glistening wet flesh was just something that he couldn't ignore if he tried.

“What?”

She sat on a large, flat rock that jutted out over the spring and stared out over the water. “What, exactly, were we doing in your dreams?”

InuYasha suppressed the grimace inspired by her softly uttered question. Her face was flushed and her gaze averted. That didn't quell his own rising blush as he thought about his answer. He had figured she'd ask that eventually. He just hadn't thought it would be this soon . . .

“Does it matter?”

“Doesn't it?”

He snorted. “Keh, I don't think it does.”

“It does . . .”

InuYasha stomped over to the water's edge and tried to avoid her demand for answers.

“Wouldn't you want to know if I was having dreams of you?”

Ears twitching despite his resolve not to ask, he couldn't quite help himself. “. . . Have you?”

“You answer me first.”

InuYasha nearly growled out loud at her evasion. “Just . . . stuff . . .”

She snorted. “I gathered as much already. What sort of stuff?”

“Stuff, wench, stuff!” he hollered as his coloring darkened.

“That's not an answer,” she argued. He refused to look at her but he could feel her gaze pierce his skull, and for a moment he had to wonder if she could read his mind. She heaved a long-suffering sigh. “All right, don't tell me. I didn't want to know, anyway.”

If he weren't so uncomfortable about the topic under discussion, he would have laughed at her obviously pouting tone. As it was, he could only pray that she really was giving up, because the last thing he was ever going to admit to her was exactly what he'd dreamed . . .

She was quiet for another few moments before she finally giggled, and the sound of it, though wholly familiar, had a certain strange undertone that he couldn't quite place. “InuYasha . . .”

When she didn't continue, he dared a peek at her. Sitting on the rock with her legs tucked up under her, she looked entirely too smug about something, and that alone was enough to worry him as he slowly edged back away from the water and away from her. “What?”

“That night, in my room, when I woke you up . . . were you dreaming about me then?”

His instant and almost painful blush must have answered her question because she suddenly cleared her throat and was mysteriously absorbed in odd fascination with her gloves.

InuYasha sighed. “You ready to go back now?” he finally asked.

Kagome sighed too and started to scoot off the rock. “If you are,” she agreed.

“Keh! Hold on before you slip,” he grouched as he hurried over to help her down. He caught her under the arms and gently pulled her down.

He didn't let go of her right away. Staring into her eyes, he couldn't look away from the softness in her gaze as she stared at him, cheeks flushed, lips parted, breath coming in smothered gasps that fogged the air in front of her face. An invisible draw between the two of them was real all the same, and he smothered a groan as she flicked the tip of her tongue out to moisten her lips.

She was too close to him. He could feel the absolute warmth of her body radiating off her to engulf him. Heart stuttering in an erratic pattern that made him feel lightheaded, InuYasha struggled to recall that he was supposed to be taking her back to the village.

A stout kick against his still tender stomach snapped him out of his bemusement. Stepping back as his gaze dropped to Kagome's stomach, he blinked in surprise at the force behind the pup's movement. The pup didn't want to share? InuYasha made a face. ` _Too damn bad_ ,' he thought then shook his head as he gathered Kagome back into his arms for the return trip.

Kagome's face was almost the same shade of red as his haori, he noticed when he glanced down at her. Erupting in a giggle, though, she settled her head against his shoulder. “I can walk if you're tired,” she offered as she snuggled a little closer.

“Keh. I'll let you know when you break the weight limit,” he retorted.

She gasped in outrage but laughed a little louder. “Give me another month,” she promised.

“Keh.”

Traveling in companionable silence, InuYasha glanced down at her. She was drowsing against his chest. He grinned and slowed to a walk. Kagome's words earlier came back to him, and he frowned. ` _Does she . . . ? Could she really . . . ? Dream about me?_ '

Burying his nose in her hair as he walked along, InuYasha breathed in the scent of her, and that only led to an uncomfortable stirring as his body seemed to come alive. Jerking his face away from her hair, he heaved a sigh.

“Inu . . . Yasha . . .”

Peeking down at her, he frowned. She was sleeping. He could tell from her scent that she was.

“I . . . need . . .”

Heart hammering against his ribcage as he fought against the urge to do something stupid, like kiss her, InuYasha waited to see if she'd say more.

“ . . . Food . . .”

He nearly dropped her out of complete irritation as he glared at her serene expression. `Food? _I'm fucking carrying her around like she's a damn princess, and she wants_ food?' he fumed. Shaking his head at his own thoughts, InuYasha flattened his ears as he sighed. ` _You can't control her dreams, baka . . . she can't help it if she's always fucking hungry_.' Still, he wrinkled his nose as another thought occurred to him. ` _Not her fault . . . but I know a certain monk who can and should be held responsible for this_ . . .'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Mokomoko-sama:** The Fluff . . .  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  …. soabout these dreams, wench …  
> ==========


	24. Fighting Temptation

 

~~ ** _Chapter 24_** ~~  
~ ** _Fighting Temptation_** ~

 

“ _Kaze no Kizu!_ ” InuYasha smiled in obvious self-satisfaction as the bat youkai shrieked, engulfed in the waves of flame from the Wind Scar. Dropping Tetsusaiga into the scabbard, he snorted and turned to face Miroku. “You're completely useless, monk, did you know?”

“On the contrary, InuYasha, I didn't need to do anything . . . You handled that youkai quite nicely without my aid.”

“Keh. Whatever. You're pathetic.”

Miroku chuckled. “Come now, it wasn't really that powerful a youkai.”

“That is beside the point. Why is it that you never lift a damn finger in a fight if I'm around?”

“That's not true . . . I was watching out for Kagome.”

InuYasha snorted. “She ain't even here!”

Miroku nodded. “Ah, but had she returned then I would have kept her safe.”

InuYasha snorted and stomped toward the well. “Don't worry about her. I'll take care of her, not you.”

With another chuckle, Miroku held his hand up perpendicular to his face and bowed as InuYasha hopped into the well.

InuYasha sighed as the time slip closed over him. Kagome had to go back to her time for one of her doctor visits. She'd hinted that she'd like to spend the night in her time, too. InuYasha made a face. ` _Fat fucking chance, wench . . . you have to shake the vial with me_ . . .'

Still his conscience nagged him. Since the bonding two weeks ago, Kagome hadn't gotten to spend much time at her home, either. Always with a smile when he came to bring her back, he knew that her lack of complaints were for his benefit. For the thousandth time he cursed himself for having been baka enough to unwittingly subject himself to the toxin and tried not to be too pleased about the idea that Kagome _couldn't_ be that far away from him . . .

Hopping out of the well on Kagome's side, InuYasha lifted his face and breathed in. Her scent was weak. She must be inside.

Taking his time as he walked up the steps and out of the well house, InuYasha frowned. The dreams had stopped, thanks to the nightly bottle shaking. On the one hand, he was glad that he didn't have to worry about them anymore. On the other hand, he had a whole different problem to deal with now. Instead of going to sleep and seeing Kagome in his dreams, most nights found him wide awake, sitting up against the wall near Kagome, unable to sleep as he watched over her, as he listened to her sigh, watched her breathe. Precious few times he had caught a subtle change in her scent. Whatever she was dreaming of—whoever she was dreaming of . . . he wanted to know but was too embarrassed and too afraid to ask.

The first time he'd smelled the change in her scent a few nights ago, he'd been shocked. Maybe he hadn't really believed her when she had alluded to the idea that she'd had some dreams of her own. He wasn't sure what to think of it. Was she thinking of that Houjou thing, or even worse, Kouga? If InuYasha found out it was either of them, he'd hack them up, scatter the parts, and leave their bodies for the scavengers—see if he didn't. A singular thought nagged the back of his mind though. ` _What if she was dreaming about . . . me?_ '

He wasn't sure if that idea bothered him worse or the fact that Kagome always acted almost guilty in the morning . . . What would she have to feel guilty about? Her dreams couldn't even begin to compare to the ones he'd had for months . . . nothing on earth could compare to those . . .

And still, the smallest part of him missed those dreams with a vengeance. They had been so real, like they were actually happening . . . ` _Keh. Don't be stupid. Those dreams weren't real. They were tainted and_ . . .' his thoughts trailed off as he reached for the door handle.

The door swung open, and InuYasha shrieked as he jumped back.

“Kami, don't do that!” Kagome screamed as she clutched one hand over her heart and the other over her stomach. “What are you trying to do? Send me into labor? It's too soon, baka!”

“You're the one skulking around, swinging open doors, and trying to scare the hell outta me, bitch!” he snarled then stopped suddenly, ears flattening against his head. “You're _not_ in labor, are you?”

“No, but I think I nearly died! What happened to your infamous hanyou senses, dog-boy?”

“I was preoccupied!” he hollered.

“With what?” she yelled.

“None of your damn business!” he bellowed back.

“I was just coming back! You didn't have to come get me anyway,” she informed him in a tight, clipped tone.

“Keh! Fine by me! Move it, will you? Damn, you're slow!”

Shooting him a fulminating glare, Kagome quirked an eyebrow and stopped in her tracks. “I see. Go on back, InuYasha. I think I'll stay here tonight.”

“I can't, you stupid bitch!” he growled. “You gotta shake the damn vial, remember?”

Balling her hands into fists at her sides and holding her arms rigid, she leaned forward enough to scream, “ _Then come back later!_ ” into his face.

“Just fucking do it now!” he demanded.

“Ooh!” she raged but grabbed the vial and shook. “ _There! Are you happy now?_ ”

“ _No, but I will be!_ ” Turning on his heel and stomping back toward the well house, InuYasha mustered as must dignity as he could manage as he huffed through the doorway and hurled himself back into the well. ` _Stupid Kagome! What did I do? Not a damn thing, that's what!_ '

` _Keh! I fight off youkai that come after the jewel, I make sure she has food and shelter . . . hell I cart her around like I'm her personal pack horse, and how does she repay me? Screaming in my face! Wench!_ ' he fumed as the warmth of the time slip engulfed him. He didn't pay much attention to it. Too irritated and incensed over Kagome's uncharacteristic show of ill-temper, InuYasha snorted and pulled a pouty face that was useless since the wench in question was still in her time.

His mood had been plunged into seething by the time his feet landed on his side of the well. ` _Bite my head off because I came to get her? Keh! See if I ever go back to get her then! I don't care! She can just stay the hell there until she has that pup!_ '

“InuYasha, I thought you were bringing Kagome back,” Miroku said as InuYasha hopped out of the well.

“Keh! She can _stay_ there for all I care,” he insisted.

Miroku sighed and shook his head. “It's important that you don't upset her, InuYasha . . .”

The hanyou rolled his eyes. “ _She_ was the one bellowing at _me_ , Miroku! Just because I was going to open the door when she was on the other side.”

“But she's in a very delicate condition, and having you at odds with her can't help.”

InuYasha shoved his arms together in the folds of his fire rat haori. “Too fucking bad. _She_ can apologize. I didn't do a damn thing.”

“But she's bound to be a little more sensitive and emotional right now . . . and I know that you care about her, regardless of what you say.”

“Can it, monk. I told you, I ain't doing it.”

Miroku let that drop for the moment though he looked like he was thinking of something else. InuYasha didn't ask as he stomped off toward Goshinboku.

“May I ask you something, InuYasha?”

Sparing a quick glance over his shoulder at the persistent monk, InuYasha snorted as he kept moving. “You can ask,” he agreed. “Don't mean I'll answer.”

“Fair enough . . . It occurred to me that you have been a bit out of sorts since the binding ritual . . . any particular reason why?”

InuYasha's eyes shifted to meet Miroku's for a moment before he stubbornly turned his gaze toward the forest. “Dunno what you're talking about.”

Miroku sighed. “Have it your way, InuYasha . . .” Shaking his head, Miroku put a hand out to stop InuYasha's progress. “Be careful, will you? Your blood is mixed in that vial, and it could be dangerous. I don't think you'd harm her, but she is very vulnerable right now.”

“Keh. Back off, Miroku. You don't think I know that?”

“I know you know it. I think it's easy to forget, though.”

“She hasn't gotten to stay in her time for awhile, anyway.”

“Do you think you should be separated from her all night?”

InuYasha snorted. “She already shook the vial, monk. All I gotta do is shake it, too, and it's done.” To demonstrate his point, InuYasha grasped the vial and shook it ten times. “There . . . but I'm not going to get her.”

“Do you think it'll still work?”

Snorting at Miroku's doubtful tone, InuYasha started walking again. “Why wouldn't it? She shook it, I shook it . . . it's a done deal.”

Miroku frowned. “Yes, with a five hundred year gap between you . . .”

InuYasha paused for a moment as he considered Miroku's words. “Keh! That don't matter.”

“Are you so certain?”

“Yes, monk, yes. Neither one of us age five hundred years when we go through, do we?”

Miroku considered that and had to concede to InuYasha's logic. “All right,” he agreed slowly. “Be that as it may, it is still something that you should think on . . . at least if you brought Kagome back then you'd know you'd be safe from those dreams.” His gaze narrowed suspiciously when InuYasha quickly looked away. “Unless . . . it wouldn't bother you to have one of those dreams . . .?”

“I ain't like you, you pervert!” InuYasha pointed out though he couldn't help the rising wash of color that surged to the surface of his skin.

Miroku snorted. “You'll go to hell for lying, InuYasha.”

“Yeah? Well if you ain't going to hell for groping anything that moved for years, then nothing I do is going to make me go to hell before you.”

“Oh, I see,” Miroku said slowly, nodding as though something finally made sense to him. “You miss those dreams! That's why you've been in such a horrible state lately!”

The already flushed skin on his face darkened even more. “Keh! Don't be stupid!”

“I hear your denials but they fall on deaf ears . . . your color says it all . . . It absolutely looks like a case of `Hanyou-in-Hell'-red to me.”

“You're an ass, Miroku, and not even _half_ an ass. You're the _entire_ fucking ass.”

“I might well be an `entire ass', as you say, but at least I'm not afraid to tell my `mate' that I love her.”

InuYasha didn't bother to answer that. Bounding away toward the sanctity of Goshinboku, he ignored the sound of Miroku's laughter drifting through the air to him.

` _Keh! He doesn't know a fucking thing about it!_ '

Leaping up into the welcoming branches of the God Tree, InuYasha made a face as he jerked Tetsusaiga out of his waistband and wrapped his arms around it. ` _They've all lost their fucking minds. Miroku's always been teetering on the edge of insanity. Sango had to have been nuts to marry that hentai houshi. The runt-fox and ape-shit are too young to be crazy but they'll get there . . . and what the hell has gotten into Kagome?_ '

Settling back with a sigh as he watched the stars peeking out from behind the spotty clouds, InuYasha let his head fall back against the tree trunk as he stared at the surrounding forest. Trying to ignore the slight emptiness that ached in his chest whenever Kagome went home, he deliberately focused instead on the butterfly youkai. If she was the same one he'd smelled in the old sage's hut as well as in the cave, why had she gone after Kikyou? Why would she want to hurt Kagome? Who the hell was she?

It didn't make sense. It seemed as though there were a missing piece to the puzzle, something he should have realized but just didn't. So far as he knew, he'd never met this youkai before. He'd have recognized the stench in the cave, if he had. If it were as simple as the bitch trying to get her hands on the Shikon no Tama, then why not just come after it? At least then he'd be able to fight her and be done with it. Still . . .

The memory of Kikyou's body falling through the air, of his inability to save her again, invaded his mind. Still possessing the power to hurt him, he flinched as Kikyou's pained smile came back to him, as she told him to protect Kagome.

All of it led back to the butterfly youkai. Determination lit in his eyes as a surge of hot anger welled up inside him as the smiling vision of Kagome assailed him. Lifting a hand to clutch the vial of blood, InuYasha frowned into the gathering darkness. ` _What if she . . . still looks like Kagome to me . . . ?_ ' Another image of Kagome came to him. Standing so close to him, staring up at him with the gentle flush on her cheeks, with a bemusement in her eyes as she licked her rosy lips, as the light of the afternoon sunshine reflected off the hot spring to illuminate her gaze . . . He smiled. She was the Kagome he knew, the Kagome he . . .

` _If I put a word to it, won't that make it all a little to real?_ ' he wondered as he closed his eyes.

“InuYasha-sama!”

“Myouga, what are you doing here?”

The flea youkai hopped up onto InuYasha's shoulder. “Nice to see you again, my lord . . . tell me . . . where is Kagome-sama?”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! Who the hell cares? I'm not getting screamed at again, not tonight.”

“Not seeing eye to eye?”

“Not hardly. Anyway, what do you want?”

“I just wondered if you found the cave.”

InuYasha snorted. “You waited _seven months_ to ask me if I found the fucking cave?” he bellowed. Myouga flew back from the force of InuYasha's tirade and hung on to a few strands of hair to keep from being sent airborne.

“I looked for you a few months ago,” Myouga whined as he tugged himself back onto InuYasha's shoulder. “Oh . . . what is this? Is this . . . _b-b-blo-ood?_ ”

“Back off,” InuYasha snarled as he yanked the vial out of the flea's greedy line of vision. “What do you think? We're bottling blood for your convenience? Fat fucking chance, parasite.” Stuffing the talisman into his undershirt, InuYasha snorted and eyed the youkai coldly.

Myouga sighed and shook his head slowly. “How little trust you have in me,” he lamented.

“It ain't gonna work,” InuYasha grumbled. “You can't make me feel guilty.”

“Why are you wearing a vial of blood, InuYasha-sama?”

InuYasha winced inwardly. “Keh. It don't matter.”

“One does not wear blood unless it is necessary. I trust this is . . . necessary?”

“You don't know the half of it.”

“Oh? Do tell!” Myouga exclaimed as he sank down, crossing his legs and crossing his arms as he stared expectantly at the hanyou.

“Forget it. I ain't telling you a damn thing.”

“But blood is only used in the direst of ways, InuYasha-sama . . . surely you know this. What if it breaks?”

“It ain't gonna break,” InuYasha assured the flea even as he shifted uncomfortably in his place. “What do you mean by `dire'?”

Myouga shrugged. “Suppose you tell me why you're using it.”

InuYasha narrowed his gaze suspiciously at the tiny youkai. “Suppose I don't.”

Myouga sighed and shook his head, closing his eyes as he pondered InuYasha's question. “It depends on what you're attempting to repress. Breaking it could have no effect at all, or it could cause whatever it is you're trying to inhibit to become irreversible.”

InuYasha digested that information with a slight grimace. ` _Irreversible? That would mean_ . . .' Grinding his teeth together as he tried not to think about Myouga's bleak assessment, he sat back and drew a deep breath. “Tell me if you've heard anything about a butterfly youkai.”

“A butterfly, you say? Can't say I have . . . why do you seek information on one? They're harmless aren't they?”

“Depends on what your idea of harmless is,” InuYasha mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothin'.”

Myouga shook his head. Popping one eye open to stare at his lord, the flea tilted his head to the side as he regarded him carefully. “That's what was born in that cave, wasn't it? A butterfly youkai?”

InuYasha sighed. “Yeah. She . . . she killed Kikyou.”

“InuYasha-sama . . .”

“Butterfly youkai are peaceful and deal with simple illusion . . . Are you certain she was a butterfly youkai?”

“I know she was,” InuYasha retorted. “I got some of her illusion powder on my sleeve and then I got it in my eyes.”

Myouga `ahh'ed' as though something suddenly made sense to him. “And that's why you're wearing the blood talisman.”

“Keh.”

“What . . . sort . . . of illusions . . . are you suffering?”

InuYasha snorted. “When that bitch came after Kikyou she had taken Kagome's form . . . at least she looked like Kagome . . . and she smelled like her, too . . .”

Myouga's eyes widened nearly double their normal size. “Then that means—”

“Shuddup, Myouga, or I swear I'll squash you,” InuYasha warned.

Myouga turned thoughtful. InuYasha scowled as he watched the youkai open his mouth and snap it closed a few times before clearing his throat and making a face.

“What?” InuYasha demanded.

“Well . . . uh . . . am I correct in assuming that the illusion of Kagome-sama . . . wasn't the only effect of the toxin?” Myouga asked cautiously.

Something in his tone kept InuYasha from losing his temper. “Keh.”

“Your talisman . . . I wouldn't rely on it . . .”

“Why not?”

Myouga cleared his throat. “If it breaks . . . a butterfly youkai that takes advantage of carnal lust is a formidable thing, indeed.”

InuYasha snorted again. “It's only temporary. I'll track her down and kill her for what she did to Kikyou, and for thinking I'd ever let her harm Kagome. That'll break the toxin's control.”

“There is another way to do that,” Myouga said slowly, cautiously, as though he feared InuYasha's reaction. The flea retreated to InuYasha's knee.

“Spit it out, Myouga,” he threatened.

Myouga scooted away from InuYasha's claws as the hanyou lowered a hand dangerously close—too close for comfort. “You could act out your dreams! That would do it!”

Shocked silence engulfed the forest as InuYasha's brain slowed to a crawl. Myouga took the opportunity to hop off InuYasha's knee. “Well, well, must be going! Nice seeing you again, InuYasha-sama! Goodbye!”

“ _Hold it!_ ” InuYasha bellowed, making a mad grab for the youkai. He caught Myouga before he could hop away and, holding him between his thumb and index finger, InuYasha dangled him in front of his nose. “There's gotta be another way!”

“Uh . . .”

“Myouga . . .”

“There isn't! If that vial breaks, these dreams you're having now? Intensify them by a thousand!” Myouga wiggled, trying to escape, to no avail. “What are your dreams like?”

“None of your fucking business!” InuYasha snarled, heaving the flea youkai away as hard as he could. “I'm surrounded by fucking hentai! Not a damn one of you has any respect for my privacy!”

Voice echoing in the forest, InuYasha flopped back against the tree trunk and wondered just how long it would take any of them to figure it out if he just took off.

` _You could act out your dreams!_ '

He squeezed his eyes closed and wrapped his arms around Tetsusaiga again. ` _No way . . . Kagome'd never . . . she wouldn't . . . Why am I even_ thinking _about this? Keh!_ '

` _That would do it!_ '

He sighed, ears drooping as a misplaced melancholy seeped over him. ` _Even if she would_ _—_ _which she wouldn't_ _—_ _I couldn't . . . I can't . . . not for the wrong reasons . . ._ '

And yet the idea wouldn't let go of his mind, either. Twisting and turning upon itself, it didn't matter how hard InuYasha tried to ignore it, the idea just kept lingering there.

Kagome's face hovered before him, smiling and friendly.

He could feel the edges of sleep wrapping around him, and he sighed. ` _Kagome . . . Sleep well_ . . .'

` _You could act out your dreams! That would do it!_ '

He yawned. ` _Keh . . . even Myouga's gone. . . nuts_.'

He drifted off to sleep cradled in the safe branches of Goshinboku.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

  
_The mist seeped into everything, into pores of her skin, into her ears, into her eyes. The moisture gathered in a damp blanket, lending a sultry feel to the balmy night. Clothes stuck to her skin, hair stuck to her face like the superficial sheen of perspiration. Breathing was constricted, the humidity pressed against her lungs. Kagome wandered without seeing as she squinted in the fog_. `Where am I?'

_The soft rustle of movement just beyond the range of her vision drew a soft gasp from her as she cautiously stepped forward. She wasn't afraid. What was this feeling that tightened around her chest and around her stomach? Far from unpleasant, the sensation was almost inebriating_ . . .

“ _Here you are. Why didn't you come back?_ ”

_Kagome stopped, whirled around to face the owner of that voice, the voice she knew. “InuYasha._ ”

“ _Are you still mad at me?” he asked, his gaze dropping as his ears flattened_.

“ _No . . . are you still mad at me?_ ”

“ _Keh_.”

_She giggled suddenly. He finally looked at her. “What's so funny, wench?_ ”

_She waved her hand as she tried to stop laughing. After regaining a semblance of her control, she cleared her throat. “You've never spoken to me before, in my dreams_ . . .”

_Golden gaze darting around almost nervously, InuYasha's cheeks pinked slightly. “Do you dream . . . about me?_ ”

“ _Sometimes,” she said as she sat down on a huge white pillow-like . . . cloud? “Where are we?_ ”

_He shrugged. “I dunno . . . in my dreams we're in familiar places. You must've picked this one._ ”

“ _Well, that makes sense, I guess . . . this is my dream, right?_ ”

_He thought that over. “But I'm here, too_ . . .”

_Kagome's grin turned mischievous as she slowly got to her feet and ambled over to him. “Well, in that case, if it's my dream . . . then shouldn't you be kissing me?_ ”

“ _Uh . . . ah . . . all . . . all right_.”

_Rising on her toes, Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close as his lips met hers. The gentleness behind his every touch, his every movement set off a wave of violent tremors throughout her body. Somehow he felt more real to her, more imposing, more vibrant than he ever had before in her dreams. Arms wrapping around her to hold her close, he coaxed her lips open with his tongue, scraping his fangs over her as she sighed_.

_Pushing open his haori and undershirt, feeling the feverish skin underneath, she dragged her mouth away from his to nuzzle against his neck as he growled low, savage and somehow calming, too. “Kagome . . .” he breathed out as she slowly savored the feel of his flesh under her fingers_.

_A sudden sensation of falling was met by the gentle hands that caught her. InuYasha winced. “Sorry,” he muttered. “Are you all right?_ ”

_She grinned and smoothed his hair out of his face. “I'm fine . . . you can't get hurt in dreams, right?_ ”

_“That, and you've dreamed up all this cushion,” he remarked. “Why else do you think I fell?_ ”

_She was about to retort but the claws that lightly trailed up over her side stopped her as her eyes closed, as she collapsed against him. Tracing her lips with the tip of his claw, InuYasha gasped as she kissed his fingertip. She pressed her hips against his. His gasp rasped into a hoarse growl_.

_Lowering her mouth over his again, Kagome teased him unmercifully with light brushes of her lips over his. He tried to capture her. She leaned away enough to taunt him. His chest pressed against hers burned her through the thin fabric of her nightgown. The sultry damp that molded her gown to her frame offered little protection against the consuming heat of his overwhelming body, alive and demanding, hungry and unyielding. One arm holding her tight against him, the other rose to cup her breast_.

_Tearing her mouth away as she tossed her head back with a sharp gasp, Kagome could feel her body dissolving as he lifted his hips against hers again_.

An insistent buzz grew steadily louder. Try as she might to ignore it, Kagome was dismayed as InuYasha winced and faded, and as she slowly opened her eyes. Never in her life had she ever been quite so tempted to smash her clock to pieces . . . or to give it to InuYasha to do it . . .

With a frustrated growl, she smacked her hand down on the button to shut off the alarm. She meant to get up early so she could go back to the past and bring the others a nice breakfast. Just now, however, she wished she hadn't thought of doing that.

` _That dream . . . it was so real_ . . .'

She made a face and groaned softly as she rolled to bury her face in her pillow. Her body was still hot and sweating, still aching with the fiercest need she'd ever felt before. ` _Maybe it was a little_ too _real_ . . .'

One of the unexpected side effects of her pregnancy had been a very unsettling increase in her libido. She'd read about such things, but she hadn't honestly expected it. That was, until the last few weeks. More than once she'd gotten up in the morning with the lingering memories of those dreams still rolling around in her head. Every single time, she'd not been able to actually look InuYasha in the eye for at least half the day. Afraid that he'd be able to see what she was remembering . . . but this one was so much worse. Way too realistic, much too hard to forget . . . If she was ever able to look at InuYasha without spontaneously combusting out of sheer and total embarrassment, she'd be amazed . . .

Wishing that she could go back to sleep, that she could return to that dream that was so rudely interrupted, Kagome squeezed her eyes closed. ` _This is just not fair_ ,' she fumed. ` _If he's going to show up in my dreams, he could at least_ —'

Cutting off that train of thought, Kagome whined and smashed her face deeper into her pillow. ` _Maybe_ ,' she thought with a grimace, ` _no one will notice if I don't go back until after the baby was born_ . . .'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  InuYasha . . . have you ever played `Show and Tell'?


	25. Evasion

 

~~ ** _Chapter 25_** ~~  
~ ** _Evasion_** ~

 

Drawing a deep, fortifying breath before she grabbed the ladder to climb out of the well, Kagome tried to push down her embarrassment as she told herself for the hundredth time that there wasn't any way that anyone knew what she had dreamed. ` _Don't be stupid, Kagome . . . they can't tell by looking at you . . . it's not like any of them were there . . . except InuYasha, and he can't_ really _have been there_ . . .'

Telling herself that and believing it, though . . . well, those were two very different things.

To her surprise, no one was there to meet her when she climbed out of the well. Lately it seemed as though InuYasha had taken to living beside the well when she was gone. The meadow was empty, and Kagome brushed aside the odd feeling of melancholy, the stupid notion that she had been forgotten.

“Kagome!”

Turning her head to see who had called her name as a bright smile surfaced, she waved as Ichisaru came bursting from the forest straight toward her. “Hi!”

“Did you bring Shippou and me pocky?”

“Sure did . . .”

Ichisaru hopped up and down happily and skipped along beside her as Kagome headed toward the trail. “Sango and Miroku told me not to jump on your shoulder right now, so I'll be good `til we get back to the village.”

Kagome laughed. “All right . . . Have you seen InuYasha?”

` _Ugh! If you're going to blush when you say his name, of course he'll figure out that there's something wrong with you, Kagome!_ '

Wrinkling her nose at her own thoughts, Kagome waited for Ichisaru to answer the question. “Nope . . . we thought he was with you. No one's seen him all morning.”

Kagome sighed. ` _He's probably still mad about yesterday . . . I did overreact . . . I shouldn't have yelled in his face like that, even though he did startle me_ . . .' But where was he? “Did anyone look in Goshinboku?”

Ichisaru shook his head. “I'll do it!” he offered. Darting off toward the God Tree, Kagome sighed again and waited.

Though she'd meant to come back much earlier, she hadn't been able to face the idea of seeing InuYasha without dying of complete mortification. Something strange was happening. The few dreams she'd had before had been bad enough, in her opinion, and those hadn't been anything, really, other than kisses . . . But the dream last night . . .

Why had that one seemed so different? So . . . real? InuYasha had seemed more natural, more like his normal self. A little shy, hesitant, almost uncertain of himself . . .

She frowned. The freedom of her dreams had allowed her to act so much differently, she supposed. It stood to reason that he did, too. Why had her natural inhibitions been so lax? Something about the trancelike dream had afforded her a certain kind of wanton liberty that she didn't fully understand. Why had she been able to . . . she grimaced. Had she really _demanded_ that he kiss her? ` _Stop thinking about it or you'll be permanently red the rest of your life, Kagome!_ '

“He's not there,” Ichisaru said as he skidded to a stop next to her. She blinked in surprise. She hadn't heard him come back . . .

With a sigh, Kagome nodded and started walking again. Wherever he was, she was sure he'd be fine. Maybe the extra time was a blessing. With any luck she'd be able to curb her embarrassment before he showed up again.

A sudden ripple of gooseflesh broke over her arms as the fleeting thought of his caresses raced through her mind. She grimaced again as another wash of color stained her cheeks crimson. ` _Then again . . . maybe not_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha picked his way through the dense foliage, careful not to make any sound. Following along behind Kagome and Ichisaru as the two headed toward the village, he just couldn't bring himself to come out of hiding. ` _Keh! I ain't_ hiding! _If she wouldn't have bellowed in my face, I'd come out . . . stupid Kagome_ . . .'

Willing himself to believe his thoughts, he stubbornly kept his silence. Certainly it had nothing to do with the dream he'd had last night—the one that made him fall out of Goshinboku . . . and worse, the fall, itself, hadn't even roused him. Nope . . . it was a stupid, grating buzz that did it—a buzzing that reminded him of that irritating clock beside Kagome's bed . . .

Somehow the dream last night had seemed different, too, more like Kagome was actually there with him and not just a dream version, but her . . . _really_ her. Something she'd said in that dream . . .

_He shrugged. “I dunno . . . in my dreams we're in familiar places. You must've picked this one._ ”

“ _Well, that makes sense, I guess . . . this is my dream, right?_ ”

_He thought that over. “But I'm here, too_ . . .”

What did it mean? Did it mean that he really was with her, in her dream? That they . . . ?

Feeling a heated flush creep up his skin, InuYasha grimaced and shook his head. ` _That's not possible . . ._ '

Still . . . if it was Kagome's dream, and if he had been there, too . . . if her alarm clock had jarred them both out of it . . . then it was possible, after all . . .

` _Oh, hell . . . I can't . . . she'll . . . no fucking way._ '

It didn't make sense. She shook the vial. He'd watched her do it, and then he had, too. Why didn't it work?

“ _Yes, with a five hundred year gap between you . . ._ ”

InuYasha winced as Miroku's voice echoed through his head. Damn . . . Was that it? He'd discarded Miroku's concerns last evening. Still, even he had to admit that there was something strange about the dream last night. It had been a little too . . . vivid.

What was it about Kagome that made him want to let his guard down? Why didn't he care that she was carrying a pup that wasn't his? There was something about the sight of her distended stomach, even in his dreams . . . he liked it. Maybe it made her seem even healthier, happier, skin glowing, eyes sparkling. Whatever the reason, it didn't make him feel any less drawn to her . . .

His head snapped up suddenly as a suspicion clouded his features, and he sniffed. Kagome smelled fine, absolutely fine . . . Letting his breath escape in a relieved rush, he flinched when Kagome quickly looked around as though she had heard him. Still . . .

` _If I fell out of Goshinboku . . . did she fall, too? And if she did . . . the pup . . . ?_ '

Damn. He had to know if his dream— Kagome's dream—had been the same, and he had to make sure that the pup was all right.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

  
_Kagura_.

Sesshoumaru held the solitary feather in his fingertips, twisting it idly as he stared at it. Even the bitter cold of the morning didn't distract him from his thoughts. On that day so long ago, when he thought he'd lost her forever . . .

What sort of price was he willing to pay to have her back?

Dangerous, yes. Trusting Hisadaicho was a nefarious venture at best. It was a good way to end up dead. Could he even trust that she was able to do such a thing? Did he dare not to try?

True enough, he had lived by the creed of live and let live, contenting himself by letting others forge their own fates, intervening only when it benefited him to do so. The cost of his desire could well be too high to pay . . .

Even so, the sickening feeling when he'd come to realize that Tenseiga could not save Kagura . . . Sesshoumaru willed away the memory. He had never felt quite so helpless in his life, and it was a feeling he never wanted to experience again.

“ _Give me the information I seek, Sesshoumaru . . . help me, and in return, I can help you bring back the one you desire_ . . .”

“ _And you think that I will trust you? You give me no reason to, and I am not a fool_.”

_Hisadaicho smiled, lips twisting into a toying expression as her tongue flicked out to touch her lips. “Of course you aren't. You are the Inu no Taisho. I would expect nothing less.” Walking slowly, deliberately, around him, reaching out to let her fingers linger on his shoulder, across his back, burying her hand in the silky Mokomoko-sama. “Tell me, Sesshoumaru . . . how badly do you want her back? How much are you willing to sacrifice for her?_ ”

Sesshoumaru's eyes cleared as he stared at the horizon. ` _How much am I willing to sacrifice for her_ _—_ _for Kagura?_ '

Gaze dropping once more to the feather in his hand, he scowled. ` _How much, indeed? The life of one in exchange for the life of another . . ._ '

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Stomping through the foliage that hid him from view and masked his scent from the monkey youkai, InuYasha stepped onto the path behind Kagome. “Wench,” he hollered to stop her. “You, ape-shit, get lost.”

Ichisaru looked like he was going to argue. One look at the hanyou's scowling red face, and Ichisaru changed his mind. Wheeling around, he dropped to all fours and ran off toward the village.

“I-InuYasha . . .” Kagome stuttered, face flushing as she looked everywhere but directly at him.

He was too busy staring at the trees to notice. “You, uh . . . you have a good visit? In your time?”

“Oh, sure . . . wonderful . . .”

“Sleep . . . well?”

“Sleep? Oh, uh . . . sure . . .”

“Nothing . . . weird?”

Face reddening to a very deep crimson, Kagome seemed to be struggling for words. “Weird?” she squeaked. “Of course not! Everything was fine! No weird dreams . . . none at all!”

For some reason, InuYasha wasn't particularly relieved by her answer. “Oh . . . good . . .”

She was quiet a moment. “Did you? Sleep well? No dreams . . . right?”

InuYasha's ears twitched nervously. ` _Keh! Quit beating around the bush and just ask her, damn it!_ ' He frowned. “ _Didyoufalloutofbed?_ ” he blurted.

“What was that?” Kagome asked, finally daring to peek at the hanyou.

He could tell by the feverish feel of his own skin that he was blushing as furiously as she was. “I said, did you fall out of bed, wench?”

She blinked in surprise. “No . . . should I have?”

“So the pup is . . . fine?”

Kagome nodded slowly. “Yes.”

“Keh. Good.”

“Are you okay?” she asked hesitantly.

“Why?”

She shook her head. “I don't know . . . you're acting . . . different.”

“There ain't a damn thing different about me.”

She was quiet for another moment. Turning her gaze to eye him suspiciously, Kagome frowned. “InuYasha . . . did you shake that vial last night?”

“What? Do you think I'm stupid? Of course I did . . .”

“Then why won't you look at me?”

He snorted. “Keh. Not like I _enjoy_ having those dreams . . . I don't! They're weak and stupid, and—” he lied, praying that she would not see through his blustering.

“I see.”

Wincing at the slight hint of hurt in Kagome's soft tone, he blurted, “It ain't you! It's . . . Keh! Never mind.”

“You brought it up,” she informed him icily.

“I didn't! You said—”

“I know what I said! You're the one who was asking about my dreams . . . Did you dream . . . anything . . . last night?”

“No,” he choked out quickly.

Kagome rubbed her temple and started walking again. InuYasha had to hurry to catch up with her.

Something strange was happening. He could feel her gaze on him but every time he looked at her, she was staring away. The color was still high in her cheeks, and he couldn't say his was probably much different. The uncomfortable silence thickened, deepened. It was almost more than he could bear.

She ducked into Sango and Miroku's hut, stomping snow off her shoes as she shrugged off the backpack and dropped it beside the door.

Sango hopped up and hurried over, hugging Kagome's belly with her hands as she greeted her friend. “How is the baby?”

Kagome sighed and struggled out of her coat as InuYasha pushed through the curtain only to run into her. She stumbled. InuYasha caught her, his face reddening just a little more. “Damn, wench, I thought we talked about this habit of yours to get in my way?”

“And I thought you're the one with super senses!” she shot back, her face coloring as much as his.

“And I thought I told you that I was preoccupied!”

“Yeah, you did— _yesterday!_ ”

“And today!”

“Baka!”

“Bitch!”

“Listen, you—” Cutting herself off with a sharp gasp as her hands rose to lock around her stomach, Kagome's eyes widened as the smell of her sudden panic swept over him.

Shoving Sango gently aside as he picked up Kagome and stalked over to the fire, he sank down against the wall and cradled her against his chest. “Kagome? What is it?”

Her suddenly pale skin seemed to take on a yellowish tint but she forced a smile and a weak laugh. “It's nothing . . . just a twinge . . . I'm fine . . .”

Sango and Miroku hovered nervously, exchanging worried glances. InuYasha glowered at them both. “Will you back off? She can't breathe with you two in her face.”

“Kagome, do you need anything?” Sango asked, ignoring InuYasha completely.

“No, I—”

“Perhaps you ought to lie down,” Miroku broke in.

“It says in that book that you ought to elevate your feet,” Sango added.

“Or maybe some cold compresses would help,” Miroku suggested.

“ _Back off!_ ” InuYasha bellowed as Kagome cringed at his tone. “ _Now_ , or I take her right back outta here!”

“We're just trying to help,” Sango assured the hanyou.

“She needs to remain calm, for the sake of the baby,” Miroku said, his expression inscrutable as he eyed InuYasha. “So _some_ people should remember that and _not_ yell at her.”

InuYasha growled as he gently set Kagome aside and stood, cracking his knuckles as he advanced on the monk. “Are you implying that I would do something to hurt her?”

“No . . . I'm _saying_ that you're the one who was yelling at her, to start with,” Miroku countered.

“Calm down, you two! Fighting isn't helping! You're going to upset her more!”

“I'll show you upset! Move it, Sango!” InuYasha snarled.

“InuYasha?”

Trying to move Sango out of the way as Miroku glared back at the hanyou, the kitsune went unnoticed.

“I'm warning you, Sango . . .”

“No! InuYasha, stop it!”

“ _InuYasha!_ ” Shippou called insistently as he climbed InuYasha's clothing.

“What?”

Shippou sighed and shook his head. “Kagome's gone.”

“ _What?_ ” he bellowed, spinning around as he yanked Shippou loose and dumped him on the floor. InuYasha stalked toward the door and turned to pin each of them with a glower. “Follow us, and I'll shred you,” he snarled before darting outside.

It didn't take him more than a moment to locate her scent leading back toward the forest. Two minutes later, he spotted her moving along the path toward the well . . . or Goshinboku . . . With a sharp curse, he sprinted toward her. ` _Stupid wench! She didn't even wear her coat!_ ' Ripping off his haori as he closed the distance between them, he didn't slow his pace as he dropped the garment over her shoulders and snatched her off the ground. “Where the hell do you think you're going?” he growled.

“I don't know . . . I just didn't want to hear you guys fighting,” she grumbled.

Altering his path, he headed toward Goshinboku. “Are you all right? The pup?”

“Fine, fine . . . it just gave me a really good kick . . . it doesn't like it when I'm upset, I guess . . .”

InuYasha winced and leaped off the ground into the safety of the tree. “Sorry.”

She sighed as he pulled her close against him. “It's all right. I'm sorry, too.”

“Don't be, wench. You warm enough?”

She nodded. “Are you?”

“Keh. I'm not like you, remember?” True enough, he wasn't cold. With Kagome so close to him, there wasn't any way he could be cold. She was too close, too warm, too alive . . . too enthralling.

“InuYasha?”

“Hmm?”

She shifted to peek over her shoulder at him. “This is nice.”

InuYasha didn't answer right away. Her hair tickled his chin, his cheek. Every breath he took drew her closer into him, tightened around him with a warmth that was entirely too inviting. Maybe it was the culmination of the dreams, the months of silent yearning . . .

Stifling a whine that rose inside him as the memories of their shared kisses, even in the confines of his dreams assailed him, it was all he could do to keep himself from reaching for her, just to see if kissing her while he was awake could be as good as those he'd experienced in the night . . .

An urgency came over him, a singular desire spurred by his youkai blood yet welcomed by his human blood, too. Kagome, always Kagome . . . she was the one both sides had chosen . . . mate of the youkai, mate of the human—mate of the hanyou . . .

Her soul whispered to him as Bokuseno's words came back to him on the wind, ` _Trust not what your eyes tell you. Believe what her soul says to you, or all will be lost_.'

His blood burned through his body, called out for her touch, needed her with a fierce desperation. Tired of fighting the losing battle, wanting nothing more than the feel of her lips, the touch of her hands, the balm of her heart, her soul . . . so pure, so fresh, so brilliant, this mysterious girl that could transcend time, that could control his will at her whim . . . ` _Kagome_ . . .'

Turning to face him, leaning against him as the gentle breeze rippled through her hair. “What are you thinking?”

A sudden thought had occurred to him, and he gathered his nerve to tell her. “Kagome . . . you owe me a favor, right?”

She frowned, obviously not recalling this favor. “Do I?”

He nodded. “Keh! When you wanted to go back to your time and wanted me to wait for you . . . trying to back out of it?”

She shook her head. “Oh, that . . . okay . . .”

He winced inwardly at her almost scared tone. What was she afraid that he'd ask of her? “Never mind.”

“No . . . go ahead . . . tell me what you want,” she coaxed.

Faced with the hesitation he'd sensed in her, did he really want to do this? Then again . . . ` _What if I was right? What if we had the same dream? If we did, then_ . . .'

“Come on, InuYasha . . . this is just a favor, right? So tell me.”

He had to clear his throat to get his words out. “. . . Kiss me.”

She gasped softly, eyes filling with a strange emotion, a cautious hope? “. . . What?”

He swallowed hard but couldn't look away. “I want you to kiss me . . .”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  … I could have sworn he just told me to kiss him???


	26. The Favor

 

~~ ** _Chapter 26_** ~~  
~ ** _The Favor_** ~

 

Kagome swallowed hard as her heart hammered against her chest. She had to be hearing things. Maybe her ears were misleading her. ` _Did he just . . . ? Did he just tell me to . . . kiss him . . . ?_ '

Staring at her with an inscrutable frown, as though he were trying to read her mind, InuYasha didn't look away as color seeped into his cheeks. The look in his gaze reminded Kagome of the same one in his eyes during her dream, and she struggled to breathe.

“Are you . . . sure?” she whispered, unable to drag her eyes away from his.

He nodded slowly.

The trembling in her stomach spread to her hands, her legs as she tried to remember how to breathe. Her equilibrium was completely upset by his very proximity. Add to that the soft demand and she felt as if she were suffering from a serious oxygen deficiency . . .

The seriousness in his expression, the lingering fear in his gaze tugged at her heart. Did he really think that she didn't want to kiss him? Could he believe that? Turning toward him just a little more, Kagome reached up, pushed his bangs back out of his eyes. Held securely in the protection of his arms, she couldn't have felt safer if they had been on the ground. A blush rose in his cheeks, dusting his face with a tinge of pink but he stubbornly refused to look away. The longer she stared at him, willing him to see what she just couldn't say, she knew he understood as the traces of doubt seemed to fade.

Leaning up, pressing her lips against his, she marveled at the soft sigh that escaped him as his arms tightened around her, drawing her more securely against his chest.

The softness of his lips against hers was completely at odds with the vibrant strength of his arms. Senses tumbled together with emotion into a rage of something she couldn't define. A kiss meant to delineate her, a subtlety meant to show her that she belonged to him, the basest reaction of a primordial desire tinged with the cautious hold of iron control. She reveled in the tenderness wrapped in the secrets that were whispered from her body to his youkai, from her mind to his humanity, from her soul to his combined heart.

Rich sensation in a clouded sense of reality as he drew her in closer, his very being seeming to magnify around her. A subdued hue of golden yearning as the spirals of discovery became something a little more. A growing sense of everything beautiful, a culmination of some part of him that she had managed to tame merged with understanding that this was what he had always wanted, what he had always believed.

Behind the tenderness of his kiss, she could feel the trace pressure of his fangs. Shocking, startling, yet wholly welcome, she sighed as her hands fell to his shoulders, as she tightened her grasp on him, afraid to let go, afraid to lose the moment, afraid of her own staggering need. The force of her own desire frightened her. A voice whispered in her mind, ` _Too perfect, too wonderful, too achingly close to . . . something_ . . .' But he was InuYasha, and in her heart she knew he would never hurt her. He would never let her go.

With a ragged moan, as though he were struggling against his own instincts, he broke the kiss with a soft sigh as his head fell back against the tree, and he cleared his throat. He didn't let go of her, though, and she snuggled closer against his chest as she willed her breathing to return to normal.

“But . . . I'm breaking my other promise,” she murmured with a small smile as she leaned back to stare into his eyes.

He looked confused. “What promise?”

She let her hand rest against his cheek. To her amazement he leaned against it. “You made me promise I wouldn't kiss _anyone_ . . . remember?”

A look of utter chagrin filtered over his features. Kagome nearly laughed out loud. “That wasn't what . . . You know what I . . . _Damn it!_ ”

“So I guess that means you'll either have to amend your first favor so that it doesn't include kissing you or . . .”

“Or what?”

“Or . . . you'll have to do the kissing.”

He considered his options. She did giggle at the scowl of concentration on his face. She had a feeling he was trying to figure out if there would be any negative effects of the alternatives presented. “If I changed my first favor . . . does that mean there'd be more . . . kissing?” he asked slowly, a suspicious glint in his eyes.

Kagome gulped. “If you . . . if you wanted to . . .”

He snorted and wrinkled his nose as his blush darkened. Kagome suspected her face was just as flushed as his . . . “I'll think about it,” he finally stated.

Kagome sputtered indignantly as she tried to pull away from him. “You'll _think_ about it? What do you mean, you'll _think_ about it? I—”

“Keh! See what I mean? You never, ever shut up, do you?”

She didn't get a chance to retort as he dragged her forward and kissed her again. She gasped softly at the contact. The same gentleness in his lips on hers as the plunging wash of emotion crashed back on her again. Concentrating on feel, centered on the cautious tenderness, it occurred to her in her hazy mind that the reluctance, the hesitation in his touch was for her benefit, as though he were afraid to show her anything more than the utmost calm.

Lips moving over hers in a slow, deliberate caress, InuYasha's kiss deepened as his tongue flicked out against her mouth. The shocking feel accompanied by a rush of heat left her mind scattered, her will broken, her body surging with a lovely sense of absolute need. She had wondered before if kissing him would be different from her dreams. More intense, more formidable, more seductive, leaving her holding on, forgetting to breathe, lost in the knowledge that she was exactly where she wanted—needed—to be.

Sinking her hands into his silvery hair, Kagome held tight to him, unwilling to let him pull away again. As though the bounds of their friendship had somehow grown into this, as though the strength of the promise he'd made to protect her extended to the sheltering of her heart, she suddenly wanted to laugh, wanted to weep, wanted to fly . . .

“Kagome,” he rasped out as he managed to turn his face to the side. “Why are you . . . ? You're crying?”

She waved her hand dismissively but leaned against his chest as she fought to breathe. “I don't know . . . because I'm happy, and . . . and you make me happy . . .”

He stiffened but didn't let go. “. . . I do?”

She choked out a weak laugh. “Yes, baka . . . you do.”

He snorted as he smoothed her hair with his gentle claws. “. . . You make me happy, too.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Striding into the castle with clipped movements, obvious irritation, Hisadaicho sent Aki away with a wave of her hand. ` _That arrogant, condescending, narcissistic_ . . .' With a frustrated sigh, she stomped up the stairs to her private chambers. ` _Think about it, will he? I offer him the one thing he wants, and he must `consider' it?_ '

Perhaps she had underestimated Sesshoumaru's feelings toward InuYasha. Perhaps that was the reason the tai-youkai would not comply. She had used the ultimate temptation against him: the wind sorceress, Kagura . . . What would he choose?

The spiraling smoke from the urn on the table caught her eye. Slowly, Hisadaicho smiled as a subtle calm ebbed over her. ` _My koishii . . ._ ' Wrapping her hands around the pot, she closed her eyes for a moment. ` _There is another, isn't there_ . . . ?'

The wispy smoke rose and solidified, an image cresting in the waves of wafting mist. The vision was vague, distorted, and a name came to her in the silence. ` _Kouga . . . wolf youkai_ . . .'

Hisadaicho's smile widened. She heard the manservant slip into the room behind her. ` _Another . . . this Kouga . . . I wonder what his desire is? Show me._ '

The mist swirled and condensed, ebbed and solidified. The image of a familiar girl perched high in a tree, held in the crimson clad arms of someone Hisadaicho recognized. ` _Interesting . . . very interesting_ . . .' Could it be? Both the hanyou and the wolf youkai . . . they lusted after this girl? ` _This could be used . . . this could be exploited_ . . .'

A delicious plan formed in her mind, a deception that would ensnare them all. ` _Kagome, is it? You don't even realize . . . but you will . . . yes, you will . . ._ '

“Fetch Iwazawa,” Hisadaicho instructed Aki, knowing he was lingering there. “I have work for him.”

Turning away from the spiraling mist, she frowned slightly. ` _Surely Sesshoumaru will come around . . . how often is he offered the chance to bring a ghost back from the dead? A small price to pay . . . surrender the family shame for the one you desire_ . . .' Her smile returned, lighting the depths of her lavender eyes with a devious glow. “Sesshoumaru . . . and then you, too, shall fall . . .”

“You wished to see me?”

Snapping out of her reverie with a quick blink, Hisadaicho shifted her gaze to meet his. “Iwazawa . . . I wish for you to do something for me.”

Iwazawa nodded. “As you wish.”

Pulling a small bag out of her kimono, she dangled the pullstring on her finger and extended it to Iwazawa. He stepped forward and took it. “The wolf youkai, Kouga . . . Make sure he gets this . . . carefully.”

Iwazawa bowed and backed out of the chamber.

` _Kouga . . . wolves are not weak . . . but not as formidable as the inu-youkai, either . . . This may prove interesting_ . . .'

Beckoning Aki to her, she laughed as the servant stripped off her clothes. Her servant was more than happy to help her relieve some stress . . . with any luck, perhaps she could convince this wolf youkai to do the same . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Kagome . . .”

Drowsing against InuYasha's chest, Kagome was nearly asleep when he murmured her name. “Hmm?”

“You have to shake this before you go to sleep,” InuYasha reminded her, tugging the talisman out of his undershirt.

Kagome yawned and snuggled closer. “Later,” she mumbled. “Sleepy . . .”

“Keh. Not later, wench . . . now.”

She groaned in protest as he gently shook her shoulder. With an irritated sigh, she sat up, shooting InuYasha an accusing glare. “I was almost asleep,” she pointed out as she swiped the vial out of his hand and shook it ten times.

He hid his amusement behind a loud snort. “Yeah, well, since I'd rather not have a repeat of last night, then you'd better shake it before you go to sleep.”

Kagome frowned as she tried to comprehend what he'd just said. “What happened last night?”

InuYasha winced inwardly. “Nothin',” he growled.

Kagome shook her head slowly. “What do you mean, nothing? Obviously it was something! What . . .” Eyes suddenly widening, as though something made sense to her, Kagome hesitantly lifted her gaze to meet his. The evening shadows veiled her eyes in the darkness but he could see the suspicion in her expression. “How do you know? About last night?”

He could feel his face heating and stubbornly turned his head away. “Keh! I don't know a damn thing.”

“I don't think I believe you,” she said softly. “Are you sure you shook it last night?”

“Hell, yes, I shook it,” he grumbled as he shook it for her benefit. “Just like that. It wasn't _my_ fault. It was the well.”

“What was the well?” She gasped as she leaned further away. “You . . . you _were_ there! How? Oh, kami . . .” Hands plastered against her cherry-red cheeks, Kagome couldn't even look him in the eye. “Put me down.”

InuYasha didn't comply. He didn't even answer. If he hadn't felt like a complete idiot before, he certainly did now. ` _Baka! I dragged her into this . . . I never should have said a damn thing_ . . .'

Her acute embarrassment was nothing in comparison to the feeling that he had single-handedly masterminded the entire thing on purpose. Even though his mind assured him that he'd done nothing of the sort, the stricken look on Kagome's face was enough to make him want to run away . . .

Flattening his ears against his head, InuYasha shook his head miserably. “You think I wanted this? That I did this on purpose? You think I wanted those dreams, and . . . Are you fucking nuts?”

She flinched and scooted away, staring at her hands folded on her belly. “No . . . I don't . . . I don't think so, at all.” She sighed. “Can you put me down now? I don't feel very good . . .”

“I didn't . . . that's not how I meant that,” he said with a sigh.

She nodded but didn't look at him. “I know what you meant. Now put me down.”

“You don't get it,” he told her, a soft pleading in his voice that he couldn't restrain. “It's not . . . You're different, in my dreams . . . you're not . . . you're not like you, and I . . . I don't want it that way.”

He could feel her gaze on him though he didn't dare lift his chin. Afraid of what she would discern in his eyes, afraid that she would see too much, he stared down at his claws digging into the tree branch. “InuYasha?”

He shook his head and reached for her. “Come on. I'll take you back to the village.”

“Wait . . . you mean it, don't you?”

He frowned. He had a feeling she was talking about more than just his dreams. He had a feeling that she had, like always, been able to read him just a little too well. “Keh.”

“Are you cold?”

InuYasha finally looked at her. “Cold?”

She smiled almost shyly. “Yes, InuYasha, are you cold?”

He shook his head. “I told you, wench. I don't get cold.”

“Oh . . . that's too bad . . . if you were . . . I'd offer to share,” she said slowly, flipping the sleeves of the haori to show him what she meant.

InuYasha eyes widened. “Oh, _cold_ . . . Maybe . . . just a little . . . not much.”

She laughed softly and let him pull her back against him. After a minute of arranging the haori to drape over the both of them, she sighed. “Too bad we can't sleep out here,” she murmured wistfully.

“We could . . . I won't let you fall.”

He couldn't see her face but didn't have to, to know she was smiling. “You wouldn't, would you?”

Rubbing his cheek against her hair, he closed his eyes. ` _Never, Kagome_ . . .' Her scent comforted him, soothed him, and he smiled, too. “Keh.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  Keh. . . Kissing. . . Nice . . .


	27. False Alarm

 

~~ ** _Chapter 27_** ~~  
~ ** _False Alarm_** ~

 

InuYasha sprinted toward the well with Kagome in his arms. “Hold on, we're almost there.”

Kirara's roar rang out behind them as Sango and Miroku hurried to wish her well.

Kagome winced as InuYasha hit the ground. Trying to be gentle but trying to hurry, too, wasn't working out so well. She heaved a loud sigh and tried to get InuYasha to listen to her. “It doesn't hurt now . . . you could slow down a little.”

“Keh!” he snorted as he increased his speed again.

She shook her head before letting her cheek drop against his shoulder. One sharp pain over twenty minutes ago, and everyone had panicked, which had started a very loud disagreement between InuYasha and Miroku and had delayed Kagome's ability to get to the well and back to her time.

“This is because of you making her sleep in Goshinboku with you,” Miroku hollered.

InuYasha didn't stop but did ask Kagome very loudly, “You want that I should shred him yet?”

Kagome didn't respond right away. She sighed. “Will you two stop fighting? Please?”

“Kagome . . .” InuYasha mumbled as he tightened his grip on her, launching himself and dropping them both neatly into the well and the time slip, leaving behind the worried yells of the friends who couldn't follow them through. “Does it still hurt?”

She smiled wanly, trying to reassure him. His golden eyes were so full of concern that she just wanted to make that go away. “I'll be fine, InuYasha. It doesn't really hurt right now.”

He didn't look like he believed her. “Keh.”

“No, really . . . the pain stopped.” A suspicious thought crept over her, and she winced.

InuYasha intercepted the look and whined. “If I could hurry I would,” he told her. “Hold on, all right?'

“No . . . I . . . um . . . it might be what they call `Braxton-Hicks' contractions.'

He looked duly befuddled.

“Uh . . . false labor . . .”

He blinked quickly. “False?”

She nodded slowly. “I'm not sure though . . . it could be real . . .”

His scowl was frustrated as he snorted. The sound of it echoed around them, and Kagome forced a cheesy grin. “I'm sorry . . . if it isn't real, I mean.”

“Keh.”

InuYasha didn't speak to her until they were out of the well on her side and he was striding toward the shrine doors. Unfortunately, Kagome was almost positive that the contractions weren't real labor—she hadn't had any more pains since before they had jumped into the well—but she bit her lip and remained silent, squirming just a little when the next bit of discomfort that hit her was the sudden need to pee.

“InuYasha?”

“I knew it! You're still having those pains, aren't you?

“Uh, no . . . but I have to use the bathroom.”

He snorted but quickened his step. “Oi!” he hollered as he turned around and smashed the doors open with his back.

Mrs. Higurashi ran out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel as her eyes darted around in shock at InuYasha's sudden entrance. “Goodness! Is something wrong? Kagome?”

Kagome winced. “I had a pain awhile ago . . . I think it was false labor,” Kagome confessed as she wiggled again in her attempt to get free.

“Be still, wench,” InuYasha insisted.

“But I have to _go!_ ” she whined.

InuYasha shot Mrs. Higurashi a quick look before scowling at Kagome. “Keh! Fine,” he retorted, stomping off down the hallway toward the bathroom.

“Put me down!” Kagome argued. “I can go by myself.”

InuYasha didn't listen.

“This is ridiculous!” she tried again.

“Hush, wench. I ain't putting you down till I get to the bathroom.”

Kagome made a face. “Well, you're not coming in with me, so don't even think it.”

“I didn't,” he grumbled, cheeks reddening. “But I ain't risking a damn thing, you got that?”

Kagome's answer was a long sigh as he set her on her feet just outside the bathroom door and turned his back to wait. Kagome started to close the door. InuYasha's hand shot out to stop her. “Inu _Yasha!_ ”

“What if you have another of those pains?”

“Then I'll let you know when I'm finished,” she gritted out, leaning all her weight against the door to close it.

InuYasha growled in frustration. “You'd better!” he bellowed as the door closed in his face.

Kagome snorted as she made quick work of relieving the strain on her ever-shrinking bladder. She could hear InuYasha's claws clicking against the floor outside as he impatiently waited for her to finish. She rolled her eyes as she deliberately took her time washing her hands as she decided she really could benefit from a thorough tooth-brushing, as well.

She was just rinsing her mouth when the bathroom door crashed open. She straightened up quickly and gasped out a small squeak before turning to pin InuYasha with a baleful glower.

“What the fuck is taking you so long in here?” he demanded before she had a chance to speak.

“I was brushing my teeth,” she retorted, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared at the pushy hanyou.

“Keh! I told you to hurry it up, didn't I?”

“InuYasha, perhaps you should let me handle this.”

He didn't look like he wanted to agree. He stared at Kagome's mother before finally, reluctantly, stepping aside. “Keh!”

Mrs. Higurashi patted his shoulder as she edged past him. “Come on, Kagome. Maybe you should lie down for awhile. As long as you don't have any other pains, I'd say you're not really in labor, but we should be safe, don't you agree?”

Kagome forced a smile for her mother. “All right,” she agreed reluctantly as her mother slipped a comforting arm around Kagome's shoulders and escorted her out of the bathroom. InuYasha followed, stomping his disapproval in their wake.

To please her mother, Kagome laid down on the sofa, propping her feet on some fluffy throw pillows. Mrs. Higurashi hurried off to the kitchen to get her a bottle of water. InuYasha hunkered down beside her, an unguarded expression of worry washing over his features as he flatted his ears and clumsily pushed her hair out of her face. “I'm fine, really,” she maintained with a gentle smile. Somehow, seeing his obvious concern tempered her irritation at his perceived irrational behavior. “I promise.”

“Kagome . . .”

Her smile brightened as she watched him struggle to find words for whatever he was trying to say. “Why would you do this?” He shook his head, gaze dropping away as he closed up into himself again, his arms crossing together inside the sleeves of his haori. She could feel him pulling away from her, could feel his soul trying to distance itself from hers.

“InuYasha . . . you know why.”

“I know why . . . I just don't know . . . _why_. Women _die_ birthing pups . . . This one ain't even yours, and you get mad at me for being worried when . . . Kagome . . .”

And she understood. He wasn't trying to distance himself from her because he was trying to hurt her or just being a jerk. He was afraid, and that fear broke her heart. Reaching out to him, touching his cheek despite his first efforts to move away from her, she persisted, slipping her fingers under his chin to force him to meet her gaze. “InuYasha, it's all right. I love Sango and Miroku like they were my own family. I wouldn't have offered to do this if I wasn't sure . . . if I didn't know that everything would be the way it was meant to be.”

He didn't look comforted. “Keh.”

“I promised you, didn't I?” she reminded him as she let her hand drop to his arm. “I promised I'd never leave you, that I was with you because I wanted to be, remember?”

He gave one jerky nod in agreement.

“Good . . . because it's true. Trust me.”

He sighed.

Mrs. Higurashi hurried back into the living room with a bottle of water and a plate of assorted crackers. “Here you go, dear. I need to run to the store. InuYasha, will you keep an eye on Kagome? I'm sure she'll be fine, but just in case . . .”

InuYasha nodded.

Mrs. Higurashi smiled. “Thank you. I won't be gone long. No arguing, you two.”

“Hear that, InuYasha?” Kagome teased as she rolled onto her side and grinned impishly at the hanyou, trying to coax him out of his bleak mood. “You can't fight with me.”

Her commentary worked like a charm. “Keh! It means I can tell you what to do, and you gotta do it, you mean.”

“Oh, really. I don't think so . . .” she argued with a giggle. “I'm the patient. You have to baby me.”

“Thought you said you were fine,” he shot back.

“Thought you didn't believe me,” she countered.

“Keh! I don't! You wouldn't tell me if there _was_ something the matter.”

“How can I prove I'm fine?” she finally asked with a long-suffering sigh.

He thought that over then blushed just a little. “Kiss me.”

She narrowed her gaze at his entirely too-smug expression. Since the day in Goshinboku, he hadn't acted like he wanted to kiss her again, or maybe . . . ` _Maybe he was too shy to ask_ . . .' Still . . . there had been a few times when she had thought he would, and when he hadn't . . . “I can't.”

It was his turn to narrow his gaze as a suspicious glint entered his eyes. “Why not?”

She shrugged. “Because I'm still doing you that first favor . . . I can't kiss _anyone_ , remember?”

His mouth fell open in outraged indignation, and he snorted loudly in response. “Keh! Wench—”

“I told you, you'd have to alter that favor or you'd have to do the kissing,” she reminded him.

He wrinkled his nose and shifted his expression into The Pout. “Fat fucking chance. I ain't changing the favor, so forget it.”

“Why not?”

“Because if you somehow manage to stumble into that damn butterfly's toxin, you'd sure as hell better not be trying to kiss it instead, that's why.”

Kagome's first thought was that InuYasha was being ridiculous. Her second thought was . . . ` _Ew! That butterfly youkai is a female, isn't it?_ ' In the end, she hrumphed and flopped over, giving him her back as she gritted her teeth together and snorted in a remarkably close imitation of his, ` _Keh!_ '

“Oi!”

“That youkai is a _girl_ , baka! Like I'd try to kiss a girl!”

InuYasha snorted. “That don't matter . . . she obviously takes on the form of whatever is in your head.”

Kagome didn't bother to comment on that.

“Are you sure you're okay?” he asked suspiciously.

Kagome sighed. “Yes, I think so.”

“Drink some of your water,” he ordered.

Figuring it wasn't really worth the argument, she rolled over and sat up before taking the water bottle and doing as she was told.

“You look tired, wench,” he informed her. “You should take a nap . . . pathetic human.”

“How can I possibly be tired?” she grumbled. “None of you will let me do anything anymore . . . I'm not dying.”

InuYasha snorted. “Can't blame anyone for being careful.”

“Then you can't blame me for being tired of everyone hovering over me like I _am_ dying,” she told him as she leaned over to set the bottle on the coffee table. “I can't take another four or six weeks of this. It's stifling.”

InuYasha looked duly offended. “ _Stifling?_ ” he echoed. “I'm _stifling_ you?”

She relented. “Not you . . . everyone . . . Sango and Miroku act like I can't even be trusted to walk anywhere alone . . . they've even got Shippou and Ichisaru in on the act, and you . . . well, your concern is all right,” she admitted with a small smile.

“Keh!” he shot back as his cheeks flushed. “I told you before, I'd be happy to shred that fucking monk . . .”

Kagome sat up straighter, bracing her small of her back as she arched forward to stretch with a low groan and a wince.

InuYasha frowned and stood up, lifting her gently and sitting down with her on his lap. Pushing on her shoulder as she grabbed a throw pillow to hold against her chest, she closed her eyes as his fingers firmly worked the constricted muscles. “Ah,” she sighed, resting her cheek against the pillow. “That's nice.”

“Keh.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

He didn't answer as he rubbed the stiffness out of her back. Finally pulling her against his chest, he adjusted her carefully as she settled herself against his shoulder and closed her eyes.

“Here,” he said as he stuffed the vial of blood into her hand. “You'd better shake this.”

Deciding that it wouldn't be worth it to argue with him, Kagome popped open one eye and did as she was told. He did the same and tucked the talisman away before resting his cheek against her head. “I'm sorry I wasn't really in labor,” she mumbled as she closed her eyes again.

“Keh. You should be,” he teased. “It might be worth it, though . . . I wonder how long that monk and Sango will sit at the well.”

Kagome shook her head slightly as soft waves of sleepiness licked at her. She vaguely felt the warm press of InuYasha's lips against her forehead. She was smiling when she fell asleep.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“So when are you going to bring back Sister?” Ginta asked as he and Hakkaku lounged beside the hot spring where their leader was bathing.

Kouga stood up and stretched. “I told you, as soon as she whelps that pup, I'll claim her.” He frowned as he stared at his comrades on the shore. “Before I do, though, I expect the two of you to bathe . . . you'll offend my woman if you don't.”

Ginta gulped. Hakkaku scratched his ear. “But—”

“Nope, definite bathing,” Kouga insisted. “Anyway, it'll be soon enough.”

Ginta shook his head. “Kouga . . . why do you still want her if she's carrying someone else's pup?”

Kouga shot Ginta a dark look. “Because she hasn't been claimed.”

“Then how did she get the pup inside her?” Hakkaku demanded as he scratched his other ear.

Kouga's frown deepened. He wasn't too sure about that, either. “Who cares as long as that stupid mutt keeps his filthy paws off her?”

Ginta and Hakkaku exchanged confused looks and shrugged. Kouga ignored them and strode toward shore. Waiting until he was hovering over his fellow wolf youkai, he shook vigorously to spray them both with water.

“Kouga!” Hakkaku complained.

“No!” Ginta hollered as he held up his hands to shield the water.

Kouga laughed and grabbed for his clothes. They'd fallen off the rock where he'd left them. “And in case you're wondering, that was not a bath.”

That must have been exactly what the other wolves were thinking, if the sullen expressions on their faces meant anything. Kouga rolled his eyes as he shook out his shirt. Blinking quickly as a thin veil of dust rose out of the fur, Kouga growled when a few particles made his eyes water.

“What's that?” Ginta asked, looking up and squinting as the dust settled over him.

“I don't know,” Hakkaku answered as he, too, stared at the powder in the air.

“Quit staring at it, fools!” Kouga snarled, thumping his comrades' heads together.

“Ow!”

“Ouch!”

Kouga blinked quickly and shook his head. At least his eyes had stopped watering. With an inward shrug, the wolf youkai finished dressing.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Kagome! You're still pregnant!” Miroku greeted as InuYasha hopped out of the well with Kagome in his arms.

“Kami, Miroku, getting smarter every day, aren't you?” InuYasha asked dryly as he headed back toward the village.

“It was false labor,” Kagome admitted, squirming to peek over the hanyou's shoulder at the others who were running to keep up with InuYasha. “I'm sorry . . .”

“As long as you're all right, Kagome,” Sango assured her. “InuYasha! Slow down before you make her ill!”

“Keh!” InuYasha snorted but didn't slow down. “She's fine!” His gaze dropped to her face for a moment, and he frowned. “Are you all right?”

She nodded. “Yes . . . but I can walk, you know.”

He ignored that and ignored their friends hollering behind them, as well.

She grimaced as she tried to get the baby to move aside since it was currently situated uncomfortably on her bladder—again. InuYasha didn't miss the expression, his eyes lighting in instant alarm. “Kagome?”

She sighed and stared pointedly at him, a look he knew well enough.

He made a face. “Damn it, wench . . .”

Still he stopped and let her down before turning to glare at the approaching exterminator and monk. InuYasha shook his head. If she didn't birth that pup soon, she might as well take up residence on her side of the well in the bathroom . . .

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kouga:**  
>  … What the hell was that … ?


	28. The Girl who Cried Wolf

 

~~ ** _Chapter 28_** ~~  
~ ** _The Girl Who Cried Wolf_** ~

 

Kagome stared at the paper bag full of canisters of powdered formula with a marked frown as Mrs. Higurashi packed up another with bottles and extra nipples. “I know it isn't really right to send things from the present back with you, but I think Sango will need these,” she explained.

Kagome nodded slowly and presented a weak smile. She knew, of course, that the time was drawing near. She knew that soon she'd give birth and that Sango and Miroku would have their own baby. She'd told herself all along that it wasn't really her baby, that she was only carrying the child for them. Even after the baby had first moved inside her, she'd managed to keep the child separate in her mind.

Last week, though, she'd noticed that her breasts were starting to lactate, and now . . . Staring at the baby things spread on the table, it seemed so much more real than it had ever before. ` _Don't think about that, Kagome! You know what you're doing is for them. Think of how happy they'll be . . . and it isn't as though you'll never see the baby. You'll be the baby's Aunt Kagome . . . that's got to count for something_.'

She stifled a sigh and stood up. “Thanks, Mama. I'm sure Sango and Miroku will be grateful for all this stuff . . .”

Mrs. Higurashi smiled compassionately, and Kagome had a feeling that her mother knew what she was thinking. “Kagome . . . have I told you that I think what you're doing for your friends is a beautiful thing? I don't know any other girls, especially ones your age, that would do such a thing . . . and I'm so proud of you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Kagome wiped a tear off her cheek and clumsily stood to hug her mother. InuYasha snorted as he entered the kitchen and stopped short with his signature scowl on his face. “Keh! Crying or peeing . . . kami, wench! No more pups for that fucking lecher again, hear me?”

Kagome rolled her eyes as she sniffled. “I take it you're ready to go back?”

A fleeting glimpse of concern rushed over his features. “You sure you're all right?”

Kagome made a face. For the eighth time in two weeks she'd had a pain that had thrown everyone into a panic culminating in the hanyou's insistent sprint to the well with Kagome in his arms. “I'm all right,” she said with a sheepish grin.

He shook his head. “You know, if you keep saying you're having pains and never birth that pup, people are going to start thinking that you're just trying to get attention,” he remarked. Kagome's mouth fell open as she stared at him. InuYasha caught her chin with his index finger and lifted her jaw. “Catching flies, wench?”

“InuYasha!”

He grabbed the bags and headed for the door again. “Coming?” he called over his shoulder.

Kagome sighed and quickly hugged her mother. “Bye, Mama. We'll be back again tomorrow about the time I have another fake contraction . . .”

Mrs. Higurashi chuckled and waved as Kagome hurried after InuYasha.

InuYasha held a hand out for Kagome. She eyed him dubiously as he tried to hold both bags in one arm. “I don't think this is a good idea,” she remarked slowly. “Let me carry those.”

He made a face but let her take the bags.

“Come on, wench. Just get over here.”

Kagome sighed and then smiled as he gently picked her up and hopped into the well.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _What's happening to me?_ '

Kouga slumped down on a boulder and turned his gaze up to the skies. His body felt hot, feverish, and he couldn't make sense of anything. Sure, he'd had dreams of Kagome before. Every now and again she'd slip into his dreams like an apparition, like a gift from kami.

But lately . . .

He shook his head. His dreams had increased. Every night she came to him with her teasing smile, her whispered promises. He felt like a man possessed, like he had to have her or he would lose his mind. ` _This cannot be natural_ ,' he mused. ` _What is it?_ '

“Kouga!”

His head snapped forward. He knew that voice. Frowning as he sniffed the air, he stood slowly and glanced around as he stared over her head at the darkened forest. “Kagome . . . where's mutt-face? Why are you running around alone? You're still carrying that pup . . .”

The salt of her tears reached his nostrils before she was close enough for him to discern the dew clinging to her long, spiky lashes. “I hate him, Kouga! I want you to take me away from him! Please . . .”

With that, she dissolved in loud, wailing sobs. Kouga frowned in confusion as she threw herself against his chest.

“What did he do to you, Kagome?” She shook her head, her sobs escalating. He grimaced. “Tell me what that mutt did to you,” he demanded.

She shook her head again. “I can't . . .” she stuttered between sobs.

Kouga hugged her close, bowed his head to rub his cheek against her hair. A sudden scent assailed him, and Kouga leaned away with a low growl. “Tell me why you have the stench of him on you,” he ordered, blue eyes flashing as anger surged.

“I told him, Kouga . . . that I chose you, and . . . he _made_ me kiss him!”

Uttering a string of curses, Kouga hugged Kagome to him so tightly that she gasped for breath. “That bastard . . .” Kouga promised, his voice thick with raw emotion, “I'll kill him . . .”

Kagome cried harder, the force of her upset racking her body in violent tremors. “Yes,” she agreed. “Yes . . . kill him . . . kill InuYasha . . . for me . . .”

“All right,” Kouga agreed, anything to keep her from crying . . .

She turned her head, nudged him, sought out his lips with hers. “Kiss me, Kouga . . . I want to be with you . . .”

Kouga's reply was a deep kiss.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Should we get you another blanket, Kagome?”

“Do you need something to drink?”

“Maybe you should lie down. You look as though you could use it.”

“Perhaps you ought to take a nap, Kagome.”

“Or I could fix something for you to eat.”

“Eating might not be the best idea. She's looking awfully pale.”

“Enough!” InuYasha snarled, cutting Sango and Miroku off in the middle of their deliberation. “Leave her alone, will you? She don't need you fussing over her every second. You're driving her crazy.”

Kagome shot InuYasha a grateful smile as she tried to shift into a more comfortable position.

“We're only concerned for her and the baby,” Miroku explained slowly.

“She does look awfully pale . . . Kagome? Do you need anything at all?”

“I'm fine,” she murmured, pushing herself to her feet so she could walk around. Her lower back ached horribly but she figured it was because of the hard floor she had been sitting on.

Ichisaru skittered inside the hut and ran over to Kagome. “Kaede said she wants to speak to you, Kagome,” he told her.

Kagome stood up slowly and rolled her eyes as her friends continued to argue. InuYasha noticed her movement and abruptly turned his back on Sango and Miroku, who were still debating what would be best for Kagome at the moment.

“Where do you think you're going, wench?”

Kagome sighed and tried to smile. “Ichisaru said that Kaede needs me.”

InuYasha didn't answer but he followed her out of the hut and into the falling darkness. “You _are_ pale, you know,” InuYasha remarked as they headed down the path toward the miko's hut.

She shook her head, refusing to give any inkling about the pains she was experiencing. They weren't nearly as severe as the ones she'd had off and on the last couple of weeks. They were actually fairly mild. If only she could get rid of the stiffness in her lower back . . . Kagome winced. It felt as though someone was squeezing on her stomach but not hard enough to hurt, just enough to make her uncomfortable . . .

The baby suddenly shifted, and Kagome gasped. “InuYasha?”

He stopped, panic quickly igniting in his gaze. “What?”

She sighed. “I have to go.”

The panic seeped out of his eyes only to be replaced with late irritation. “Again?”

She grinned wanly. “Always.”

“Can you wait till we get to the old woman's hut?”

She quickly shook her head.

He folded his arms together as Kagome hurried into the forest beside the path. “I wonder what it'll be like to see my feet again,” Kagome remarked as she took care of her business.

“Hurry up before you freeze,” he answered.

Kagome rolled her eyes and started to get up when she suddenly started peeing . . . again. This time was different, though. More like a gush than anything, and given that she had just peed, there was no real way she could be holding that much in her miniscule bladder.

Something prodded the back of her mind, something that Kagome didn't want to understand. ` _Oh, no . . . no . . . it can't be . . . oh kami_ . . .'

“Kagome?”

She bit her bottom lip and started to rise again. The movement forced more liquid out of her body, and it didn't matter how hard she tried, she couldn't staunch the flow. Still refusing to believe what her mind was now screaming at her, Kagome deliberately ignored her own thoughts . . . until she placed a hand against her stomach. The sudden shrinkage under her fingers was something that could not be denied. “InuYasha . . .” she called out, her voice trembling. He crashed into the forest moments later.

The look on his face told her that he had already smelled what she needed to tell him. Face pale and drawn, he didn't bother saying a word as he jerked off his haori to drape around her as he carefully lifted her and set off toward the path once more. “Where do you want to go?” he asked, his voice gentle despite the obvious upset in his expression.

Kagome couldn't answer. The first pain to hit her since her water had broken was significantly stronger than the ones she had been suffering. She gasped softly and could only manage a weak ` _nn'_ sound when he turned to go back to Sango and Miroku's hut.

“Home?” he asked, meaning the well.

She shook her head as she clutched her stomach and tried to concentrate on breathing. She wasn't sure how long she had, but, too, was the sudden worry that she wouldn't be able to get the baby back through the well after it was born. She'd planned on having the baby at the shrine but there were no guarantees. What if the baby couldn't get through the well? She relaxed as the pain around her stomach lessened. No, she couldn't risk that . . .

InuYasha didn't ask questions. Sprinting toward Kaede's hut, InuYasha had never reached the old miko faster in his life. “Oi! Old woman! Damn it!” InuYasha bellowed as he pushed through the bamboo curtain covering the doorway.

“InuYasha , must ye yell?” Kaede asked as she looked up from her task. Spotting Kagome, face contorted in pain as another contraction tightened around her belly, the miko stood and hurriedly spread a futon on the floor in a cooler corner away from the fire pit. He strode to it and gently put Kagome down. She flashed him a grateful smile just before she sighed.

“Bring water, InuYasha, lots of it,” Kaede instructed as she draped a blanket over Kagome.

InuYasha looked like he wanted to argue, but Kagome nodded at him, and he did as he was asked.

“How long have ye been laboring, Kagome?” Kaede asked as she hurried over to the cabinet where she kept her dried herbs.

“A couple of days, I suppose,” Kagome said as she squirmed around under the blanket. “I didn't realize . . . the pains weren't enough to bother me before.”

Kaede sighed. “For your first babe, this surprises me.” Adding a bit of water out of the bucket InuYasha left behind, Kaede mixed some herbs together into a paste before setting the stone bowl aside near the fire.

InuYasha stomped back in with two buckets of water and set them down with a heavy thump. Kagome's soft moan as the next contraction set in brought him to her side. Wincing as he stared down at her, she didn't have to read his mind to know that he was berating himself for not being able to save her from the pain.

“Get it out of her, damn it!” InuYasha snarled as Kaede firmly shoved him back.

“Either behave or get out, InuYasha. Ye are helping not, when ye continue to harass me!” Kaede grumbled.

InuYasha opened his mouth to growl something back. Kagome's soft hiss of breath as another contraction hit her hard stopped him. Ears flattening against his head, he gently lifted her shoulders and edged in behind her. She shot him a grateful look then winced. He whined.

Kaede sat back and shook her head. “This is going to be a long night, eh?”

InuYasha gritted his teeth.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Let us in, InuYasha.”

“Keh.”

“If not Miroku, then me, at least,” Sango requested.

Barring the doorway into Kaede's hut with his body, InuYasha snorted again and shook his head. “The last thing she needs is you fussing over her,” he retorted. “Back off.”

“InuYasha . . .” Kagome called out behind him. “Sango . . . should be here . . .”

InuYasha didn't look as though he agreed at all. Grudgingly stepping aside, he allowed Sango to pass. When Miroku tried to do the same, though, the hanyou slapped him back with a hand to the shoulder. “Forget it, lecher.”

Miroku looked like he was ready to argue it—until he saw the steely glint in InuYasha's eyes. With a defeated sigh, Miroku sank down on the bench beside the door to wait.

“Kagome . . . is there anything I can do?” Sango asked as she clasped Kagome's sweating hand.

“No,” Kagome managed as she closed her eyes. “Soon, right?”

Sango smiled and blinked back a few tears. “Yes . . . are you sure there's nothing I can get for you? Anything?”

Another pain hit her hard, and Kagome gasped. She didn't answer as she worked through the discomfort. When the pain had passed, she opened her eyes again and smiled at Sango. “I'll be all right.”

Sango shook her head slowly. “I can't believe you would do this for us, Kagome,” she said quietly.

Kagome winced. “It's okay.”

The pains were coming quickly now. Kagome tried to brace herself. ` _Well . . . not long now . . . if I can do this_ . . .' Craning her neck to look over at InuYasha, she intercepted his concerned frown and smiled for him. He didn't smile back but he did nod his encouragement. That was enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> _A note about the toxin: When Hisadaicho appears in someone else's form, only the affected person sees her as that being. When the `illusion' is in effect, the appearance and scent will reflect the real person's status. In this case, Kagome has been kissing InuYasha, therefore illusionary Kagome smells like him, too . . ._  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
> 


	29. Aftermath

 

~~ ** _Chapter 29_** ~~  
~ ** _Aftermath_** ~

 

The rain splattered against the window pane as Kagome stared at the gray skies, the dull world. Mounds of dingy old snow still stubbornly clung to the street corners, piled from numerous plowings, dirty and sad and depressed. ` _It's not supposed to rain in February_ ,' she thought with a grimacing twist of the lips. Meant to be a smile, the gesture seemed stunted, false, completely at odds with the melancholy that she just couldn't shake.

With a sigh, she hugged her knees tighter to her now-flat stomach. There weren't any lingering reminders of the child she carried for the last nine months. A bit of loose skin on her stomach that her mother had assured her would tighten back up if she exercised, a trace amount of bleeding, and the fullness in her breasts she still endured, there were no other reminders.

Sango and Miroku's faces flashed through her mind. The happiness in their expressions as they stared down at their newborn daughter had somehow hurt Kagome. Fast on the heels of that was the pang that she was being completely selfish. How could she be anything but happy for her friends, who had wanted this baby for so long? Did that make her a monster? Or worse? How could she feel that way when she had known all along that the baby wasn't really hers? Maybe, somewhere along the way, she'd forgotten . . . or maybe it just hadn't been completely real until Kaede had held up the baby and had given her to her mother—to Sango.

Kagome frowned as she stared out the window, hand pressed against the cold, unforgiving pane of glass. Strange, how she felt so . . . empty, so lost, and so completely alone . . .

Sango's soft question came back to her, the question she hadn't expected—the one she had to force herself to answer.

“ _Do you want to hold her, Kagome?_ ”

_Still lying on the pallet with InuYasha's arms wrapped around her as everyone fussed over the baby, Kagome shook her head quickly, managed a weak smile. `_ Don't do it, Kagome . . . if you hold her _. . .' her thought trailed off, as though she feared finishing it, even in her head. “You should,” she forced herself to say. “I'm . . . really tired.” InuYasha had tightened his arms around her. Maybe he understood_.

_She watched in silence as the argument over the baby's name had begun. For reasons that Kagome didn't want to think about, it made her angry. “Why are they arguing?” she mumbled quietly, struggling to sit up, wanting to stop them. InuYasha caught her, gently pulled her back, a strangely soothing rumble coming from deep in his chest, a sound she'd never heard before. `_ She's just born, and you're fighting over her name . . .'

“ _Do you want me to take you home now?_ ”

_Startled out of her reverie, Kagome blinked and turned to stare up into InuYasha's concerned gaze. He did know, didn't he? He understood what she needed, how difficult this was for her. Unable to speak past the growing lump in her throat, Kagome nodded as she fought to blink back tears_. `Home,' _she thought with an inward grimace_. `Mama . . .'

_If anyone noticed as InuYasha stood, gathered Kagome up, wrapped in blankets with his haori still draped over her, they didn't comment. Without a word, he strode out of the hut and into the night with Kagome in his arms, the low rumble the only sound that permeated the fog of numbness that was gathering mercifully over Kagome's overwhelmed emotions_.

_He broke into a sprint as he neared the forest. Kagome sighed. “InuYasha? Will you walk?_ ”

_Staring down at her in the semi-darkness, InuYasha nodded once and slowed his gait. He didn't speak as he carried her through the forest. Perhaps he knew that somewhere deep inside, Kagome's heart was breaking. In all the time that she'd carried the baby, she'd tried to convince herself that she would be happy to do this, and she was. It still didn't replace the feeling that she, too, had somehow lost her child, and maybe in that, she could understand Sango's ultimate heartache_.

“ _They're happy, aren't they?” she finally mumbled as InuYasha stepped out of the forest into the meadow near the Bone Eater's Well_.

_InuYasha sighed. “Yeah, they are._ ”

“ _And they'll love her_.”

_He didn't answer. When Kagome leaned away to look up at him, she was shocked to see that his eyes were abnormally bright. “They'll love her,” he agreed softly_.

“ _InuYasha? What's wrong?_ ”

_His smile was pained, tight. Carefully cradling her in one arm almost as though she were no more than a baby, he dug the vial out of his undershirt and held it out to her. Despite her exhaustion, she shook the vial ten times. He did, too, before slipping it back into his haori and readjusting his hold on her. “Nothing. Go to sleep. I know you're tired. I'll put you to bed when we get to the shrine_.”

“Kagome? Are you feeling all right?”

Hurriedly dashing the back of her hand across her face, Kagome turned away from the window and smiled at her mother. “Yeah, much better.

Mrs. Higurashi smiled back. “You look better.” She stepped into the small bedroom and closed the door quietly. “You know . . . InuYasha is worried about you.”

Kagome sighed. “I know.”

“Have you talked to him? Since the night he brought you home?”

Kagome swallowed hard, toying with the hem of her blouse. “Not much. I . . . I guess I haven't had that much to say.”

“I knew this would be hard for you. You can't help loving people. It's your strength, Kagome. Sometimes, though, I think maybe it's your weakness, too.” Her mother pushed her bangs out of her eyes and lifted Kagome's chin with her other hand. “Are you going to stay here forever? Don't you want to see the baby at all?”

Kagome couldn't meet her mother's gaze. “I'll go back,” she assured her. “It's just hard.”

“I know. I'll bet your friends miss you, and you know you'll still be a huge part of that baby's life.”

Kagome nodded. “I know. I want to be. I just feel like . . . like I don't have the right to feel this way. I chose this, right?”

“You chose it but you have the right to feel however you need to feel. But I know that if you'd let him, InuYasha wants to help you.” Mrs. Higurashi kissed Kagome's forehead and gave her a quick hug. “Besides that, I think he's driving your grandfather insane.”

“Where is he?”

Mrs. Higurashi sighed as she reached for the doorknob. “Right now? He's taken over the remote control for the television, and he refuses to let Grandpa watch the news.”

Kagome made a face. “Oh . . . that's not good.”

Mrs. Higurashi winced. “Shall I send him up?”

Kagome sighed but nodded as she stood and moved over to her bed before InuYasha started bellowing about `where she belonged' while she `recovered'.

She wasn't surprised moments later when InuYasha strode into her room. “How long are you going to stay in that bed?” he grumbled as he knelt beside her.

“It's only been three days,” she pointed out. “I've been up. I just figured you'd yell at me if you caught me out of bed.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Keh. Think you know me so well, do you?”

She shrugged. “Don't I?”

Staring at her with his narrowed gaze, InuYasha turned serious. “If you want to stay here longer, it's fine.”

“I can't stay here forever.”

He nodded. “Maybe not. You're not one to hide from your problems, wench.”

She reached over, caught one of his ears. For once he didn't try to duck out of her reach. She contented herself by rubbing the fuzzy appendage. “I think . . . I think I made a mistake,” she admitted, her voice barely a whisper in the quiet room. “I knew it'd be hard, but . . .”

InuYasha's eyes rose to lock with hers but he didn't move his head. Gaze probing, searching her own for traces of truth, he shook his head slowly, arguing with her unspoken condemnations. “Kagome . . . don't do this to yourself, okay?”

Her smile faded as she looked away only to stare at him again when he leaned back and uttered a soft growling sound. Not a mean or angry resonance, Kagome fleetingly thought it sounded more like a lament. “I'm not trying to . . .”

“Sango and Miroku said they miss you.”

She nodded. She hadn't realized he'd gone back in the last few days “Are they happy?”

“They'll be happier after they see you.”

“I know.”

“They named her Marisaiko,” he told her.

“You've seen her?” Kagome hesitantly asked.

InuYasha nodded slowly.

Kagome digested that in silence. She wanted to ask about her but almost afraid of his answer. Swallowing hard, she forced herself to speak. “Is she . . . what does she . . . ?”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. She looks like that damn monk, if that's what you're asking. I mean, she's all wrinkly and red-faced . . . sorta like Miroku after he plays touchy-feely with Sango . . .”

Kagome rolled her eyes but smiled. “Baka . . . babies are supposed to look like that.”

“Keh, I didn't want you to do this, in the first place . . .”

She winced. She couldn't help it. Was he really about to bash her over the head with `I told you so's'? “InuYasha—”

“Just listen . . . this is hard for me,” he interrupted with a shake of his head. “I can't . . . it hurts to see you so sad, and I can't do a fucking thing to make it better . . . Kagome . . .”

She knew what he meant. Didn't it hurt her, too, whenever he was upset? She sighed. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be sorry. What you did for them . . . I don't know anyone who could do that, and . . .” he trailed off with a heavy sigh as he shook his head, ears drooping just a little. “I know I couldn't have done that, if I were you.”

Her smile was thin, her laugh was sad. “No . . . you just risk your life for me, for us . . .”

He shook his head, gaze challenging, daring. “That's not a big thing,” he argued. “If I don't, then I really _am_ worthless.”

Kagome reached out, brushed his hair out of his face as she stared into his eyes. “Don't say that, okay? Because . . . because you're not worthless to me.”

“Keh.”

“I'll go back soon. I just want to deal with a few things, first.”

He stood up and lifted her before settling on her bed and arranging her between his raised knees. Pulling her back against his chest, InuYasha seemed to realize how alone she felt. As though he were trying to reassure her but didn't know quite what to say, he just held her, and it was enough.

“I want to be happy. I want to be proud of myself,” Kagome said quietly. “I think . . . if I see how happy they are . . . I think that'll help.”

She didn't hear him sigh but his breath stirred her hair. “Just think of the stuff you said you couldn't do that you missed.”

Like what?”

“Like . . . seeing your feet?”

She nudged him with her shoulder. “Baka.”

“Traveling for more than five minutes without making me stop.”

She peeked up at him, her expression carefully unimpressed. “You're pushing your luck.”

“Keh. You can ride on my back instead of my having to carry you everywhere.”

“I could have walked,” she complained but giggled despite herself.

“I dunno . . .” he teased. “I was about ready to put you down and roll you around.”

“InuYasha!” she gasped but laughed.

“It's nice.”

She craned her neck back to stare at up at him. “What is?”

He shook his head. “Hearing you laugh again.”

Kagome relaxed. “Thank you,” she said softly as she wrapped her arms over InuYasha's protective hold.

Shoving the vial into her hand, he wrapped his fingers over hers to shake the bottle together. “Go to sleep, wench. You're tired.”

Kagome fell asleep with a slight smile on her lips.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _I'll kill that damn dog-shit!_ ' Kouga thought as he darted through the canyon. With an angry grimace, he sped up a little bit more.

Against his better judgment, he had let Kagome go back to that bastard. She insisted that she had to hide things until the pup was born. Then, she claimed, she would be free to leave with him.

“ _You can't go back there . . . that stupid baka won't leave you alone, I know it,” Kouga said, holding onto Kagome's hand_.

_She placed her free hand gently against his cheek, smiled at him in that quiet yet brave way of hers. “I'll be fine . . . he won't hurt me as long as I'm carrying this baby_.”

“ _I'll protect you . . . we can take the baby to them after it's born,” Kouga insisted_.

“ _Do it my way, Kouga . . . I want him to suffer_ _—_ _truly suffer . . .” Her words trailed off as she pressed her lips against his neck, teasing his skin with her mouth, with her tongue. the scent of her arousal broke over him, thick, heady, as her small hand slipped down his chest, lower and lower until she grasped him through his clothes_.

“ _Kagome_ —”

_She shushed him with a finger pressed to his lips. “I'm sick of him taking me for granted; I'm tired of being nothing more than his jewel detector. I want to be free of him, and I want you. Please_ . . .”

_How could he resist her entreaties? From the moment he'd laid eyes on her, he had wanted to possess her. Something about her spirit spoke to him. He nodded slowly. “All right, we'll do this your way_.”

Now Kouga was going to get his woman. InuYasha was going to regret the day he'd been born, if Kouga had anything to say about it. InuYasha's days were numbered . . .

A grim determination sparked behind Kouga's sapphire gaze. Flashing like jewels in the sunlight, the wolf youkai's eyes scanned his surroundings as he blazed a trail into the forest. ` _How could I be such a fool? I've left her alone with that miserable dog for far too long! He'd better keep his fucking paws off her_ . . .'

Forcing himself on her was unforgivable. Leaving his disgusting stench on her was enough to drive Kouga near the brink. If he hadn't been sure before of Kagome's feelings, he was now. She had assured him of that, hadn't she?

The dreams he had of her were nothing in comparison. Her hot body pressed against his was still too fresh in his mind, and the way she'd kissed him . . .

` _I'm coming for you, Kagome . . . I'll bring you home_ after _I kill InuYasha_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Are you sure you're ready to do this?”

Kagome nodded and wrapped her arms tighter around InuYasha's neck as he carefully held her in his arms. Sprinting through the forest, the sound of his haori sleeves flapping in the wind, InuYasha glanced down at her before he pushed off the ground to sail over the trees. “I'm sure . . . I'm okay now.”

He didn't reply as they neared the edge of the forest and headed for the village.

“Thank you for staying with me,” she ventured as he slowed just a little on the outskirts of the village.

“Keh. Like I wouldn't have,” he remarked.

She shrugged. “I know you don't like my time that much,” she answered. “So it means a lot to me that you did.”

InuYasha flushed. “You had to shake the vial, remember?”

She narrowed her gaze but couldn't hide her smile. “Well, you could have just stayed the night and left during the day, and you didn't.”

“Hush, wench. You'll tire yourself out.”

She made a face. “I had a baby, not a near death experience,” she retorted.

“Keh. If that lecher asks, there will be no more pups unless he finds another wench to carry `em.”

Kagome giggled and reached up to catch InuYasha's ear. He tried to duck away. It didn't work. “I love rubbing your ears,” she commented happily.

InuYasha rolled his eyes and set Kagome on her feet outside Sango and Miroku's hut. “You ready?”

Kagome drew a deep breath and nodded.

“Kagome!” Shippou squealed as he shot across the floor and hopped up into her arms.

Kagome giggled at the kitsune and ruffled his hair as InuYasha glowered at the child. Catching the hanyou's disgruntlement, she quickly turned away before InuYasha decided he needed to thump Shippou for his overzealous greeting.

“Kagome!” Sango greeted with a smile as she hurried over to hug her friend. “I was worried! How are you?”

“I'm fine . . . I just needed to recuperate a little.”

The reluctance on Sango's face slowly receded as she squeezed Kagome's shoulders again.

Miroku rose slowly with a small bundle in his arms. Approaching slowly, as though he wasn't sure how Kagome would react, he tried to smile as his eyes brightened suspiciously. “Would you like to hold her?”

Kagome shot InuYasha a quick glance. InuYasha understood and moved in closer as Shippou hopped down and attacked the backpack that InuYasha had set beside the door.

Kagome wasn't sure what she expected as she accepted the warm bundle. Pushing the blanket aside and staring down at the tiny face, the large violet eyes that stared back at her so seriously, she felt tears rising to blind her, and they were tears of happiness. “Oh, she's lovely,” Kagome managed, her voice trembling as she stroked the girl's cheek. “She does look like you, Miroku . . .”

Miroku made a face but grinned as he slipped an arm around Sango.

Marisaiko whined softly, obviously realizing that she was not being held by someone she was familiar with. The idea sent a pang through Kagome. She forced it back as she kissed the girl's forehead and gave her over to Sango. InuYasha squeezed her shoulder gently. Sometimes it amazed her, how well he knew what she needed.

“Wow, Kagome . . . you got skinny fast,” Ichisaru remarked as he swung around his pocky-filled fists.

Kagome laughed. “Maybe not skinny, but thank you, Ichisaru.”

Miroku hugged Kagome. “Thank you,” he murmured. “Every time I look at her, I'm amazed at what you've done for us.”

“Keh. Just don't expect her to bear any more of your pups,” InuYasha snorted. Kagome rolled her eyes as she moved over to kneel down beside Sango.

“Would you like to feed her, Kagome?” Sango asked as she offered her a smile.

Kagome drew back with a soft gasp then shook her head quickly. For some reason, the thought of feeding Marisaiko brought to mind the image of her, cradling the baby against her breast. “Oh, uh, no . . . it says in the books that it's best for the parents to do that, at least at first . . . Bonding . . .”

Sango's smile faded, and she looked like she wanted to say something. In the end she nodded. “Kagome, there's nothing I can do to show you how much Marisaiko means to me, and even more so because you gave her to us. Thank you.”

Kagome nodded and smiled though she was sure that Sango could see through it. Conflicting emotions warred inside her. Most of them were good, warm, positive. She'd be lying, though, if she didn't admit, at least to herself, that it hurt just a little to see Sango holding Marisaiko.

Still, it occurred to her that she'd never seen her friends quite so happy, either, and despite whatever other feelings she had, Kagome couldn't help but feel a sense of well-being that she had been able to help them have the child they so desperately wanted. Maybe it would take awhile before she could get over her misplaced feelings of loss or even twinges of regret that nagged at her now and again. In the end . . . she smiled sadly. ` _They look good together . . . they look so . . . content_.'

InuYasha sank down behind Kagome against the wall, arms wrapped around Tetsusaiga. She could feel his gaze on her. She remained silent as Miroku and Sango filled her in on the first two weeks with their new daughter. Shippou crawled onto Kagome's lap while Ichisaru made himself comfortable on Miroku's shoulder, picking through the monk's hair.

Kagome grinned when the monkey youkai made a disgusted face and hopped down before skittering over to InuYasha, who stopped him with a hand to the monkey's head. “Groom me and die,” he warned. He caught her gaze and slowly, casually stretched out behind her. Lying on his side, he moved closer to her, his proximity a silent reminder that she wasn't alone after all.

Kagome shot him a grateful smile as he drummed his claws against the wooden plank floor.

Sango finished burping the baby then suddenly glanced over at InuYasha. “Do you want to hold her?” she asked with a smile.

Kagome stifled her laughter as the hanyou's ears flattened and he shot into a crouch on her other side. “Hell, no!”

Miroku chuckled. “She doesn't bite, InuYasha.”

“Keh!”

Kagome turned to stare at him. “Scared of babies?” she asked quizzically.

He snorted but remained where he was, ducking down behind her as the others laughed. “Keh!” he scoffed though the way he leaned to the side to peek around Kagome said otherwise. “I ain't afraid of her!” He caught her amused look and grimaced. “I'm not!”

Kagome leaned toward him. “Maybe when she gets bigger and doesn't seem so fragile?”

Blinking in surprise, InuYasha nodded slowly. “Something like that,” he agreed.

“They look good together, like a real family,” Kagome commented with a smile.

“You okay, wench?” he asked quietly.

Kagome considered his question as her smile brightened just a little. “Yeah . . . I think I am . . .”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Marisaiko:** Infinite beloved.  
>  **MARISE:** infinite; endless —— **AIKO:** little love; beloved.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  What do I do now?  
> ==========


	30. Moving On

 

~~ ** _Chapter 30_** ~~  
~ ** _Moving On_** ~

 

Kagome stood, arms crossed over her chest as she glared up at the hanyou in complete defiance. “Yes!”

“No.”

“Don't be so stubborn!”

“Keh! No. 

“You're not being fair.”

Leaning his head to the side as he shifted his eyes up to stare at the cloudy sky, InuYasha made a show of deliberating the topic of discussion before lowering his chin and snorting out loud. “Fair ain't got nothin' to do with it.”

She screwed her face up in an angry grimace. “InuYasha, stop being so stubborn! I have to come with you! What about the vial?”

“Keh! Dreams can't hurt me, wench, and I'd rather know that you're safe, got it?”

“I'm safe with you,” she pointed out.

“Give up. It ain't happening.”

“I'll follow you,” she threatened.

Eyes narrowing suspiciously, InuYasha was obviously trying to decide if she was being serious or not. “No!” he snarled.

“But if this youkai looks like me, how will you fight her?”

“Kagome—” he began, raking his hands through his hair in complete exasperation.

“Please?” she asked, changing tactics since the first one wasn't working.

He blinked suddenly, a slight redness filtering into his cheeks. “St-stop that!”

“Stop what?”

“Keh!”

She frowned in confusion as he quickly turned away. “Please, InuYasha . . . I . . . I need this.”

Turning his head to peek over his shoulder at her, InuYasha didn't comment right away.

Kagome sighed, arms dropping as she pulled her coat closed over her chest. “I need to do something . . . I just . . . I feel like I'm going crazy here.”

And that was true, too. In the sixteen days since Marisaiko was born, Kagome had grown steadily more restless, as though she needed to do something— _anything_ —to prove that she was still alive, that she wasn't as pathetic as she sometimes felt.

InuYasha let out a heavy breath and slowly turned to face her again. “All right,” he finally agreed, “but you gotta do what I say, and if I say I have to check something out and tell you to stay somewhere, you promise you'll do it without arguing.”

“Okay,” she agreed quickly, trying to hide her excitement at the prospect of heading out on another adventure with InuYasha. Knowing him, he'd be irritated with her for not giving this youkai enough credence. It wasn't that, at all. She just knew that InuYasha would always keep her safe.

InuYasha rolled his eyes. “This ain't a vacation, wench!” he complained.

Kagome quickly schooled her features. “I know.”

He snorted. “Do you?”

She nodded, eyes bright and earnest. “Yes, of course.”

He didn't look like he believed her. “I suppose you need to go home and get supplies?” he demanded, tapping his foot impatiently.

“Well, a few things, sure . . . don't you want more ramen?”

InuYasha's ears twitched at the mention of his favorite food. “Ramen?” he asked grudgingly.

She blanked her features. “Sure . . . I could get a bag or two of potato chips for you, if you'd like.”

“What are you up to?”

She shrugged. “Nothing . . . Nothing at all . . .”

“Keh.”

She hid her smile. He might not believe her, but he still grabbed her hand and dragged her toward the forest, and toward the well.

 

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

“So we meet again.”

Sesshoumaru shifted his gaze to the side and eyed Hisadaicho as she stepped out of the trees. He didn't acknowledge her as he continued along his course. ` _She has a foul aura . . . a tainted soul?_ '

“Have you made a decision, Sesshoumaru?”

“Be gone. I shall not waste my time with the likes of you.”

Hisadaicho pouted prettily as she hurried to intercept the tai-youkai by stepping out before him. “Are you so certain? You wish not to have your precious wind sorceress restored to you?”

“How did you come to know of Kagura?”

“You'd be amazed at what I know, Sesshoumaru . . .” stepping around him, trailing her fingers over him, Hisadaicho chuckled softly as she stroked his cheeks, as she brushed her fingertips over his lips. “Kagura . . . and yet you were too . . . unwilling to show her your true emotions, were you not? Only to find just a little too late that you could do nothing to save her.” Leaning up on her toes, clinging to Sesshoumaru's armor, lips poised just below his, she continued to speak. “Did it make you feel impotent? Did it make you feel like less of a man? Tell me, what was it like to watch her . . . die?”

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed as he firmly pushed her back. Expression blank, he gave no outward indication that her words had bothered him in the least. “You cannot fool me. There is nothing pure in you. You believe you can bend This Sesshoumaru to serve your whims? Leave me. I possess neither the time nor inclination to sully my hands in destroying the likes of you.”

“Do not cross me, Sesshoumaru. I promise you, it would be the last mistake you'd ever make.”

“You will be gone from my lands by sunset,” he tossed over his shoulder as he strode away.

Hisadaicho's laughter rang out in his wake. “You are a fool! The great tai-youkai! You shall bow before me, before it is over! You shall bleed, and you shall bend. Till the next time . . .”

Sesshoumaru sensed her moving away. Lips curling back in a grimace, a snarl, he strode toward the cliff, staring over the wash of the green sea. Drawing the feather out of his armor, he stared as the wind ruffled the edges, as the image of her, with the same feather in her hair . . . ` _Kagura . . . I wished to save you, and I failed_.'

The sense of failure, the air of sadness seemed to permeate everything surrounding him. Something about Kagura had touched him. As though they were one in the same, as though she understood things about him that he didn't understand about himself, he hadn't counted on the frightening sense of loss, the realization that for once, he could do nothing but watch her die . . .

Rin's earnest assessment came back to him now, a child's frankness, a child's simplicity. “ _She's lonely, isn't she, Sesshoumaru-sama? Just like I used to be . . . but I'm not anymore_ . . .”

Lifting his face into the chill wind, Sesshoumaru glared out across the heavens, over the skies, searching for something that resembled the truth. There was nothing.

A sparking determination permeated his thoughts, the whispering thought as unrelenting as it was suspicious. ` _How did she come by the knowledge of Kagura? How could she have known?_ '

Deliberately turning away from the cliff, Mokomoko-sama trailing behind, Sesshoumaru's hair whipped in the wind as he strode toward his castle. ` _I will find my answers, Hisadaicho . . . and then I will destroy you_.'

 

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

 

InuYasha glanced over his shoulder and shook his head in self-disgust. Puffing along behind him, red faced but bright-eyed, Kagome insisted on `jogging' instead of being reasonable and letting him carry her.

“Ready to give up, wench?”

She shook her head stubbornly. He rolled his eyes.

“You sure? You're going to hurt yourself, if you try to do too much,” he pointed out.

Kagome wrinkled her nose. “I'm fine . . . just . . . need to . . . exercise.”

InuYasha stopped, crossing his arms over his chest as he turned back to wait for the miko. “That's enough for one day,” he told her when she reached him.

Kagome bent over, hands on knees as she caught her breath. “Easy for you to say. You didn't have your entire body stretched out for the last nine months. Anyway, I feel all frumpy and flabby . . . ugh.” Delving into her backpack for a bottle of water, she knelt on the ground and frowned in concentration.

He nearly laughed at the consternation in her expression. Thinking better of it, he turned his gaze up to the sky and shrugged. “Keh. You look fine to me.”

She stopped digging and gazed up at him, color filtering into her cheeks as she slowly shook her head. “Really?”

He snorted. “Keh! Like you really need me to tell you that,” he grumbled, cracking his knuckles as he remembered their supply trip.

Somehow Kagome had managed to talk him into going with her. He had a suspicion that it was because of the cautious smile on her face more than her begging him with, “please, please, ple-e-e-ease.” So he'd squashed his ears down under the ridiculous hat she always insisted he wear, and they left the shrine together.

_Halfway to the store, they'd encountered that Houjou thing, and Kagome had elbowed him in the ribs for uttering a low growl meant as a warning to keep the little bastard at bay_.

“ _Kagome! You look well! How was . . . err, how is . . . uh . . . how are you?_ ”

“ _Oh, I'm fine, thanks . . . everything went well . . . You remember InuYasha, right?"_  

_Houjou's friendly gaze shifted to meet InuYasha's far more hostile one. He couldn't stave back the next growl as memories of Kagome letting Houjou kiss her stuck in his mind, just as vivid as they had been when he'd first seen it happen. Kagome elbowed him again. “Wench,” he ground out in her ear, “I'll get you for that_.”

“ _Promises, promises,” she muttered back as she plastered on a bright smile for Houjou, who was glancing back and forth between the two of them as though he thought they were the latest science experiments. “We've got to be going . . . it was nice seeing you again, Houjou!_ ”

“ _Keep walking and don't look back,” InuYasha growled in her ear as he propelled her forward with a hand on the small of her back_. 

_Kagome sighed as Houjou hollered his goodbyes behind them. “Honestly, InuYasha, you sound like you're kidnapping me. Houjou's just a friend, I've told you, and_ —”

“ _And if your_ friend _ever gets his fucking lips near you again, I'll be removing them, thanks_.”

_InuYasha spent the rest of the supply trip imagining various pleasant ways to get rid of the aforementioned `friend'. His favorite one had involved Tetsusaiga, some screaming, and that pathetic human begging for mercy_ . . .

“Even then, it is nice to hear it every once in awhile.” Kagome's voice snapped InuYasha out of his reverie.

“Keh! You _are_ digging for compliments!” he accused. “Besides, that damn Houjou would have kissed you again, if you'd have let him. `Course, I would have had to shove Tetsusaiga up his—”

“You already made me promise that I wouldn't kiss _anyone_ —” he interrupted her with a snort at the added emphasis on the word `anyone', “—so I don't think you have much to worry about.”

“I know what I made you promise, wench,” he grumbled. “Come on. We're hardly getting anywhere.”

Kagome shook her head before raising the bottle to her lips.

InuYasha didn't mean to stare. Something about watching her throat close over the fluid, though . . . With her head arched back and the gentle ripple as she drank, he couldn't help but watch as she gulped the water. Her eyes were closed, lashes dusting over her cheeks with a sooty elegance. He swallowed hard as he stared at her beautifully flushed face, felt his breath catch between his lips and his lungs as dulled imagery of dreams he'd tried to forget surged in his head.

The early March breeze toyed with the strands of her hair, the wispy tendrils that had escaped the high ponytail she wore blew in the wind. Along the base of her neck, along her temple it clung to her damp skin as the wash of her scent—clean, fresh, much too enticing—engulfed his senses with the power to bring him to his knees.

She lowered the bottle and grinned at him, the adorable, impish little flash of teeth that meant she felt like teasing. “Aha! You _are_ tired!” she exulted when he knelt down beside her. “Admit it, dog-boy, you're not nearly as tough as you pretend to be.”

He didn't react to her teasing. Too bemused by the very sight of her, he reached for her slowly, pulled her against him as his mouth fell to hers, as he kissed her. He felt the cool splash as she dropped the water bottle. The water spilled out, hit his feet, and he lifted his hands to cup her face.

Licking the remnants of dewy water from her lips, he tasted the sweetness of her as she leaned against him. Content to let herself be lost in him, she sighed softly as InuYasha reveled in the feel of her utter compliance, the rapid beat of her heart reverberating through his mind with every second that he kissed her. The strength of her soul tempered him; the swell of her aura welcomed him. Her hands braced against his shoulders as her fingers dug into his haori only to release then tighten again. As though her movements were not her own, as though she couldn't control her own reactions, she pulled him closer and pushed him back at the same time.

A beautiful sensation stuttered to life. Deeper than the currents of desire, much more frightening than the knowledge that whispered to him, the wash of something wholly untainted, completely pure, as if, by simply kissing her that she could somehow transform him.

He kissed her tenderly, brushing his lips over hers as she trembled, as she sighed. In his heart he knew that she was the Kagome he wanted, the one who was real to him, the one who could set him free. He felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, and in one moment he could either soar or plummet, and it didn't matter which he chose, so long as Kagome didn't let go.

Maybe that was what had been missing from those torrid dreams in the darkness. The consuming feel, the emotion that bound them together . . . it hadn't ever been present. Cold lust was nothing, he realized, in comparison to the fierce desire to shelter her, to keep her from being in pain, to cosset her heart from those things that brought the sadness to her eyes.

He sat back and pulled her onto his lap, held her close with all the gentleness he could muster, smoothed her hair back with his claws. He moved his lips to kiss her cheeks, her nose, as she grasped his wrist tight, as she uttered the softest of sighs, as she relaxed in his arms, accepting the comfort he offered her.

When he moved his lips back to hers, the emotion behind her kiss was staggering, was almost blinding. The softness of her parting lips, the heat of her ragged breathing swirled around his senses, reminded him that she was rare, that she was beautiful, that she was Kagome, and that there wasn't a damn thing he wouldn't do if she'd only ask him to.

Cradling her head against his shoulder, he leaned back, opened his eyes only to find her gazing up at him through heavily-lidded eyes. She tried to smile. Her lips trembled, and she reached up to touch his face, her thumb rubbing over his lips. “What was that for?” she whispered.

He could feel his cheeks warming under her steady gaze. “I just wanted to,” he replied, unable to keep the hint of defensiveness out of his tone.

She nodded slowly, still tracing his lips with her fingers. “Do you . . . want to do it . . . again?”

InuYasha blinked and blushed a little darker. “Keh! I can't think when you . . . I mean, I can't smell anything but . . . Damn it!”

She giggled and hid her face in his haori then suddenly pushed herself up to kiss him again.

Eyes wide in shock that quickly dissipated as InuYasha wrapped his arms tighter around her, he let her do the kissing. Unsteady and unsure, she snaked her arms around his neck as she held him close. Suckling on his lower lips, he couldn't help the shivers that ran up and down his spine. Something about her spoke to him, something about the feel of her against him made him forget his own doubts.

Her hands tangled in his hair, her lips opened against his mouth with a soft moan. She tasted like something untamable, something just beyond his reach. Holding her as close as he could, hugging her to his heart, InuYasha let her wash over his emotions, let her subdue his senses, let her be his breath, let her be his life, let her be his will. The line between desperate yearning and gentle desire was thin and fuzzy, one fading into the other with the temperate wash of unrequited need.

The sharp hiss of breath didn't penetrate the haze that enveloped his mind. The enraged growl only registered in a disjointed way as InuYasha managed to pull away, turn his head, vision blurry, clouded by the girl in his arms.

“What the hell are you doing with _my_ woman?”

Kagome gasped and sat up, craning her neck to stare over her shoulder in unabashed surprise at the intruder.

InuYasha slowly moved Kagome off his lap and stood, hand reaching for Tetsusaiga as the tension grew thicker in the air. Deliberately bracing his stance as he glared at his adversary, InuYasha let loose a growl of his own as he pinned the youkai with an irate glower. “She _ain't_ your woman, bastard,” he challenged.

“The hell you say!” Kouga gnashed out as he cracked his knuckles. “I've had enough of you. She don't want you, get it through your head! I'll fucking kill you.”

InuYasha jerked Tetsusaiga out of the scabbard and brandished it before him. “I'll say it again, Kouga. She ain't your woman, and . . .”

Trailing off as he lifted his chin, eyes narrowing as he sniffed a little deeper, InuYasha's head rounded to stare at Kagome, confusion and anger warring for dominance in his expression. “Tell me why you smell like Kagome,” InuYasha bit out.

Kouga shot him a sneering grin. “Because she came to me . . . she said she wants to be with me. Ask her, yourself, if you don't believe me. One way or the other, I'm taking her with me, and you will be dead.”

Kagome stood slowly, stepped back in retreat. Wincing at the questions in InuYasha's gaze, she quickly shook her head. “No, InuYasha, I didn't—”

That was all he waited to hear. Turning back to face Kouga again, InuYasha hitched his shoulders, cricked his neck from side to side to pop it. “Back off, Kouga. She ain't going anywhere with you.”

Kouga didn't like InuYasha's answer. Cracking his knuckles, he peered past the hanyou to the miko. “Tell him Kagome. Tell him what you told me.”

Both men stared at her again. Kagome shook her head again, a perplexed look filtering into her eyes. “Kouga . . . what are you talking about? I didn't . . . I . . . I want to stay here, with . . . InuYasha.”

The wolf youkai's eyes blazed bright with anger. What started as a low growl escalated quickly, culminating in a screeching howl as Kouga shot forward, intent on killing InuYasha . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kouga:**  
>  Get your hands off my woman!


	31. Contenders

 

~~ ** _Chapter 31_** ~~  
~ ** _Contenders_** ~

 

“Kouga, _stop!_ ” Kagome shrieked.

He didn't listen. “How dare you put your filthy lips on _my_ woman!” InuYasha spun away in time to avoid the youkai. Kouga's fist left a crater in the ground as Kagome squeaked and darted for cover.

“Damn you, Kouga! What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you _trying_ to hurt her? You're pissed off at _me!_ Leave her outta this!” InuYasha bellowed as he shot forward, claws drawn back, an air of complete concentration dictating his movements. “ _Sankon-tetsusou!_ ”

Kouga hopped out of the way of InuYasha's flying claws. “She knows I'd never hurt her—unlike you, dog-shit! Keep your hands off _my_ woman!”

InuYasha sprinted at Kouga again with a growl in reply. “She'll never be yours, bastard! She don't want you, or didn't you hear her say she wants to say with me?” Lunging forward again, InuYasha barely missed Kouga as the youkai jumped back.

“Baka! Keep away from my mate!”

“Mate, my ass!” InuYasha snarled, “or did you miss the fact that _she_ was kissing _me?_ ”

Kouga roared as he stretched his arms out in complete rage.

“Stop it!” Kagome yelled from behind a large boulder. “Please!”

“You can stop acting now, Kagome. I plan on killin' him, then I'll take you home,” Kouga assured her.

Kagome's upset was obvious to InuYasha. Why couldn't Kouga sense it, too? “Keh! Are you listening to her? She don't fucking want you; she never has! Now back off before I have to kill you!”

“I've already claimed her, you fool! Can't you smell me on her, or are you too stupid to tell?”

Momentary shock set in. InuYasha shook his head slowly. ` _That can't be right . . . I would have smelled that_ _. . ._ _What the hell_ is _going on?_ ' Glancing over at Kagome, he saw that she was holding something in her hands though the boulder hid it from view. Eyes squeezed shut, Kagome was mumbling something as a tear streaked from the corner of her eye.

With a vicious growl, outraged that Kouga could be so stupid as to make her cry, InuYasha lunged again. A predatorial satisfaction surged through him as his claws cut across the youkai's chest. Leaping away with a furious howl, Kouga wiped the blood off and shot forward to intercept InuYasha.

InuYasha avoided Kouga's claws and heaved him back with a hard shove. Kouga slid across the ground, digging his feet into the soil as he sought to stop his forced retreat. “Damn you, InuYasha! You're going to die!”

“Keh! Just try it, bastard!”

Kouga lunged again. His claws tore InuYasha's sleeve but missed his flesh as the hanyou pushed off the ground and leapt back out of the way. InuYasha had enough. Drawing Tetsusaiga in a flash of yellow-white light, the hanyou waited, blade resting on the ground. The wisps of wind rippled over the blade, the twisting air of the Wind Scar.

“InuYasha, no!” Kagome's voice rang out. “Don't kill him! _Please!_ ”

Kouga's eyes flashed with a condescending light. “As if he could, Kagome. Don't worry about me. I'll take care of him, mark my words.”

“No, Kouga! You can't!”

“Save your breath, wench. It's obvious the fucking wolf won't listen to reason,” InuYasha retorted.

“Enough!” Kouga bellowed as he sprinted forward again.

InuYasha flipped back out of the way, landing near Kagome—close enough to sense her consuming fear.

Kouga altered his course, bearing down on InuYasha. InuYasha raised Tetsusaiga and started to swing it. “ _Kaze no_ —”

Kagome darted out, planting herself between InuYasha and Kouga. Too late to slow his progress, Kouga slammed into her as her arms shot out, a streak of bluish-black fell from her hands over Kouga's head as InuYasha caught her and leaped to the side. “Are you stupid, bitch?” he bellowed as she fought to catch her breath. “Damn it, Kagome!”

Kouga hadn't given up. Running at InuYasha again, despite the fact that Kagome was cradled in his arms against his chest, the wolf youkai was absolutely livid.

Kagome gasped as Kouga closed in. Closing her eyes, she drew a deep breath and yelled, “ _Osuwari!_ ”

InuYasha stared at her in shock, wondering just what she was trying to do since he didn't have the kotodama anymore. Immediate irritation shot to the fore. ` _Keh! I ain't doing a damn thing, anyway!_ '

Seconds later, Kouga's gasp echoed loud as a tremendous crash filled the clearing. InuYasha blinked in surprise to find the wolf youkai spread-eagle, in a two-foot deep indentation in the ground where he lay. “Oi, wench . . . what did you do to him?”

“The . . . kotodama . . .” she breathed as she struggled to get down.

“ _My_ kotodama?” he demanded, eyes rounding as he stared incredulously at the miko.

She flushed. “It's not yours anymore, and I'd rather have used it this way than to see either of you ripped to shreds, baka!”

“Keh! As if! It would have been him,” InuYasha snorted but set her on her feet and watched as she hesitantly stepped toward Kouga. InuYasha uttered a low growl when he felt she was more than close enough, and she stopped.

“Kouga . . . I'm sorry, but you have to listen . . . I didn't . . . I never . . .”

The subjugation was starting to wear off, and Kouga managed to peel his face off the ground as he pushed himself up on his elbows to glare, red-faced, at Kagome then InuYasha, who was struggling not to laugh outright since he knew first-hand how Kouga must have been feeling. “You said you wanted to be with me,” Kouga ground out, staring hard at Kagome.

She shook her head. “I didn't . . . I haven't left the village or my . . . home . . . without InuYasha in months.”

Kouga growled and started to push himself out of the pit he'd created as his gaze shifted menacingly toward the hanyou once more.

“Don't do it, or I'll say `it' again,” Kagome said quietly.

“Come on, if you think you can,” InuYasha goaded.

Kouga lunged after him. Kagome sighed. “Osuwari!”

This time InuYasha did laugh when Kouga hit the ground. Kagome's gaze narrowed on the hanyou. “You did that on purpose,” she accused.

InuYasha didn't deny it as he knelt down by the wolf youkai. “Keh! Ignorant wolf. I told you, but you wouldn't listen. I don't smell you anywhere on Kagome.”

Kouga didn't believe him. “Like you'd admit it, either way. Kagome . . . you can tell him, what you told me.”

Kagome winced at the confusion and upset evident in Kouga's stare. She shook her head slowly. “But I didn't . . . Kouga, please . . . It wasn't me.”

InuYasha folded his arms together as Kouga cautiously pulled himself off the ground again. Apparently unconcerned with the wolf's movements, InuYasha knew he'd be able to move, if it came to that. “She couldn't have,” he informed Kouga. “But that still don't explain why you _smell_ like her . . . so bark it out already before I decide to skin you alive to remove it from you.”

Kouga's glare returned as he narrowed his glower on the hanyou. “I told you why. She's _my_ mate.”

InuYasha growled in complete frustration as he lowered his hands to the ground and sank his claws into the earth. “Then I suggest you sniff her again, damn it, because she _ain't_ your mate!”

Kouga glared at InuYasha for a moment longer before deliberately turning and sniffing in Kagome's direction. InuYasha almost felt sorry for the poor bastard at the sudden look of complete confusion that filtered over his face. Almost. Not quite, but almost . . .

“What have you done to her?” Kouga demanded as he shifted his eyes to stare defiantly at InuYasha.

“I didn't to a damn thing, mangy wolf. I told you, she ain't your woman.”

“She is!” he argued, appealing to Kagome with a confused expression. “You came to me two weeks ago . . . you asked me to kill InuYasha . . . you said you wanted to be with me.”

Kagome looked utterly horrified. “I didn't! I wouldn't! Two weeks . . . ?” Her gaze skittered to InuYasha. “I had the baby two weeks ago . . . I couldn't have been there . . . I was home . . . InuYasha was with me.”

“Keh!” InuYasha snorted as he stood up. “Come on, Kagome. We're wasting time with this miserable baka.”

Kagome frowned, wringing her hands as she slowly shook her head. “But he's hurt, and . . . I don't understand why he'd think that.” She dug for her first aid kit.

InuYasha snatched the bag out of her hands. “You ain't touching him, Kagome.”

She opened her mouth to argue but the fierce glower he directed at her convinced her that it wasn't a good idea.

Kouga's cheeks reddened just a little as he stood stiffly. “I don't know . . . you came to me, I _know_ you did . . .”

InuYasha growled. “You callin' her a liar?”

Kouga's lips pulled back to expose his sharp fangs in a grimacing snarl. “No, I'm not . . . I know it was her. I know what she said, and I know what we did. What I don't know is what _you_ did to change it.”

“I didn't _do_ a damn thing because I didn't _need_ to do a damn thing, baka! You never claimed her, and you won't unless you want Tetsusaiga shoved so far up your ass you'll be walking on your tiptoes for the rest of your miserable life, you stupid bastard!”

“Oh yeah? And just what is a scrawny-assed runt-pup like you gonna do to stop me?” Kouga growled.

“Damn it, I just said what I was gonna do! Now get out of my face before I cut you down!”

“InuYasha! Kouga! Stop it!”

Both male heads turned to stare at Kagome. Glaring at both of them in turn, she drew a deep breath and shook her head very slowly as she hitched the backpack over her shoulders and stomped away, back in the direction of the village.

“Oi! Where you going?” InuYasha hollered, the first to react as he ran off after the miko.

“Isn't it obvious? Something had to make Kouga think . . .” she trailed off and shook her head as a light blush washed over her skin. “We need to speak with Kaede . . . what if . . .” Glancing over her shoulder, she frowned as she saw that Kouga was heading toward them. “It doesn't make sense . . .”

Kouga tugged on the rosary as a soft chime of the spell indicated that the wolf was trying to break the strand.

“Keh! Give it up, you mangy wolf. Once that damn thing is in place you can't take it off. The only one who can is Kagome, and it'll serve you right if you have to wear it _and_ eat dirt for the rest of your miserable life!”

Kagome shook her head and sighed. “I'll remove it if you promise not to fight with InuYasha,” she stated.

InuYasha snorted.

Kouga growled.

“Mangy wolf,” InuYasha muttered.

“What was that?” Kouga asked tightly.

“I said you're a fucking mangy-assed wolf, you pathetic excuse for a youkai! You're telling me you mated something but you don't know what? How fucking stupid are you?”

“That's it, dog-shit!” Kouga growled as he lunged forward again.

Kagome sighed. “Osuwari!”

InuYasha didn't bother trying to hide his grin as Kouga ate dirt again.

“It's not funny!” Kagome maintained as she frowned at the hanyou.

“Wanna fucking bet?” InuYasha couldn't help the slight grin that he tried to hide. No doubt about it, seeing Kouga harnessed by the kotodama did wonders for his mood. A sudden thought crossed his mind, though, and he frowned. _`If he . . . smells like Kagome to me . . . and Kagome wasn't with him, then . . . does that mean . . . ?_ '

Stopping abruptly, InuYasha swung around and eyed Kouga. “Did you meet up with a butterfly youkai?”

Kouga glanced up from the rosary with a scowl on his face. “A what? No!”

InuYasha narrowed his eyes. “Have you been having . . . dreams?”

Kagome gasped as Kouga looked away stubbornly, face impassive despite the rising tide of flush that climbed his cheeks. “InuYasha? What are you saying?” She bit her bottom lip for a moment as she pondered InuYasha's words. “You think . . . he's been subjected to the toxin?”

InuYasha snorted. “It makes sense, don't it?”

Kagome thought it over and nodded though her blush didn't diminish, either. “Kouga? Did you get any powder in your eyes recently? Anything . . . unusual?”

Kouga shook his head. “No . . . why?”

InuYasha crossed his arms over his chest. “You're sure? No weird powder? No dust?”

“Nope, no . . .” trailing off as a flash of recognition filtered over his features, Kouga's eyes widened, and he groaned, shaking his head slowly, incredulously. “Dust . . . in my clothes . . . It got in my eyes.” He grimaced. “I think it got Ginta and Hakkaku, too . . .”

InuYasha and Kagome exchanged significant looks. Kagome looked horrified, and rightfully so, in InuYasha's opinion. She was obviously the object of that mangy wolf's obsession . . . a low growl escaped before he could stop it. “When?”

“Three weeks ago?” Kouga shook his head. “That doesn't matter, though . . . I'm still taking Kagome with me.”

“Like hell you are!”

Kagome stopped InuYasha from going after the youkai with a gentle but firm hand against his chest. “It's all right, InuYasha. I'm not going anywhere.” Turning to face Kouga again, Kagome sighed. “I'm sorry, Kouga, really, but . . . I belong with InuYasha.”

Kouga didn't look like he wanted to accept that. InuYasha snorted and carted Kagome around. “Let's go. The sooner we reach the village, the sooner we can get rid of the trash.”

Kagome rolled her eyes. Kouga growled. InuYasha stared straight ahead. ` _And the sooner we get to the village, the sooner the old woman can do something to counteract Kouga's dreams because if that bastard thinks he's gonna dream about my_ _—_ _about Kagome that way, he's got another thing comin'_.'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Pulling up the thick blanket on her bedroll, Kagome popped one eye open to peer from InuYasha to Kouga, who were sitting on opposing sides of the campfire. InuYasha had his hands folded together inside his haori sleeves with Tetsusaiga held against his chest. Kouga had one knee bent with his arm resting casually on top. The two were glaring daggers at one another, and Kagome heaved a sigh and sat up. “I can't go to sleep when the two of you look like you're ready to tear into each other as soon as I close my eyes.”

“Keh. Go to sleep, wench. You're the one who was falling asleep on my back,” InuYasha commented without taking his eyes off Kouga.

“I'll watch over you, Kagome. Since you're going to be my mate, it's my responsibility to make sure you're safe.”

“You can't take her as your mate, even if she would have you, which she wouldn't, you flea bag. You've already mated . . . _something_.”

“And I say that if she looked and smelled like Kagome, then it was meant to be Kagome!” Kouga snarled back.

“Wanna fucking bet?” InuYasha growled as he leaned forward.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Keh!”

“See? Stop that!” Kagome interrupted as she waved her hands around to gain both their attentions. “No one is mating—forget it! I don't want to talk about it! Now stop fighting or I'll . . . I'll . . . Ooh! Just stop!”

InuYasha's ears flicked and drooped at Kagome's bellowed proclamation. Kouga glared at InuYasha. “See? Stop upsetting my ma—”

“She ain't your mate, bastard!”

“Ugh! Good night!” Kagome hollered to be heard above the escalating disagreement.

InuYasha suddenly stopped mid-tirade and looked over at Kagome. “Wait, wench.”

Kagome sat up again and shot InuYasha a consternated eye. “What now?”

He got up, cast one last withering glance at Kouga, and stomped over to her. “You have to shake it, remember?”

Kagome sighed and hurriedly did as he instructed before burrowing into her sleeping bag again and dragging the blanket over her head. ` _They'll kill each other during the night, I know it_ ,' she thought with a grimace.

“What's that?” Kouga asked grudgingly, nodding at the vial. InuYasha shook it ten times and stuffed it back into his undershirt.

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! None of your damn business.”

Kouga yawned. InuYasha's ears quirked at that. Watching incredulously as the wolf youkai stretched his arms over his head and leaned back on his elbows, InuYasha scowled. “Oh, no you don't! No fucking sleeping, damn it!”

Kouga blinked in surprise and shifted his gaze off the fire to meet the hanyou's stare. “Isn't that what you're supposed to do at night?”

InuYasha snorted. “Yeah, that's right. Too bad you're not going to.”

Kouga rolled his eyes. “I wasn't going to.”

“Good. Then we understand one another.”

InuYasha glared at him for another moment before letting his eyes drift back to the fire. ` _Damn . . . there ain't no way I'm letting him go to sleep. If he is affected by that toxin, he'll be dreaming about_ _. . ._ _Keh! No fucking way_ _. . ._ '

He sighed. After jogging most of the day in her stubborn effort to get some exercise, Kagome had been asleep within minutes when he'd finally dragged her on his back. He'd have been more than happy to keep traveling until they reached the village. Kagome, though . . . he couldn't push her that hard. She'd just birthed that pup a couple of weeks ago, and her body was still recovering. He could smell her fatigue, could sense her body's struggle to return to normal. She hid it well, but she just couldn't hide it from him. For her sake, he'd found a good place to make camp for the night. They would reach the village in the morning, and then they'd be rid of the damn wolf youkai, hopefully for good.

Kouga snorted abruptly. InuYasha blinked, shaking off his reverie and narrowing his gaze on the wolf. Kouga was starting to nod off. InuYasha growled. ` _Not happening, damn it_ . . .'

Standing up, InuYasha stomped around the fire and poked Kouga in the ribs with the sheathed sword. Kouga jumped and glared up at the hanyou. InuYasha glared down at him. “I told you, mangy wolf, you're not fucking sleeping, even if I have to keep prodding you every five minutes like a damn cow. Got that?”

Kouga sat up slowly, returning InuYasha's glower the entire time.

Satisfied that Kouga was going to try to stay awake, InuYasha stalked back to his place and sat down again. ` _This is going to be a long fucking night_ . . .'

He sighed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  Keh! Stay away from my wench …


	32. Purging the Toxins

 

~~ ** _Chapter 32_** ~~  
~ ** _Purging the Toxins_** ~

 

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Not!”

“Too!”

“Keh! She _ain't_ your mate!” InuYasha bellowed in Kouga's face.

“Yes, she is!” Kouga yelled back.

Kagome rolled her eyes and tried in vain to shrink down a little smaller where she sat huddled by the fire pit between Sango and Kaede.

“Will you two stop screaming? You'll upset Marisaiko,” Miroku commented as he nodded at the cooing baby, content to be held in Sango's arms.

It did the trick, though. InuYasha and Kouga both glanced down at the infant and stopped yelling though they continued to glare at each other.

Kaede shook her head as she smashed herbs.

“How can Kagome be your mate? You don't smell anything like her,” Shippou commented as he glanced up from his drawing where he sat beside Ichisaru.

InuYasha blinked in surprise and stared at the kitsune for a long moment before turning his very smug expression back on the disgruntled wolf youkai.

“Yeah,” Ichisaru agreed without looking up from his paper. “InuYasha does, though.”

Kagome could feel all the eyes in the hut turn to gawp at her—all except for InuYasha, who was studiously looking anywhere but directly at her. She tried hard not to blush. The harder she tried, the redder she got.

“Keep your damn dog stench away from Kagome!” Kouga snarled.

InuYasha shifted his eyes to narrow on the youkai. “Keh! You're one to talk about stench, bastard!”

Kouga cracked his knuckles. “You want to take this outside, dog-shit?”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“Fine by me. Let's go.”

“After you, mangy wolf.”

Standing nose to nose, growling viciously, the two refused to back down. Miroku sighed and stood before sticking his shakuju between them and wedging them away from one another.

Kaede scraped the herb mixture into a small clay pot and stuck a cork in it as she muttered a soft incantation before extending it to Miroku. He mumbled a short blessing and handed it over to Kouga.

“Spread this on your eyes every evening for one fortnight to draw out the toxin, and ye shall be cured.”

Kouga nodded slowly. “I think a couple of my tribesmen might have been infected, too.”

“There should be enough there for the three of ye . . . however the sooner ye begin to use the poultice, the more effective it should be,” Kaede warned.

Kouga looked like he wanted to say something. “I'll be back, Kagome. Then I'll bring you home with me,” he said as he started for the door.

“Wait!” Kagome quickly shot to her feet and ran after Kouga. InuYasha glared and caught Kagome as she tried to run past him. “InuYasha!”

“No.”

“But—”

“ _Hell_ , no.”

“InuYasha, I need to—-”

“You need to listen to me, wench, and I fucking said no!”

She sighed. “All right, then you go over there and get the kotodama off Kouga.”

The look on his face was almost comical. Caught between utter irritation and the arrogant part of him that hated to admit that he was wrong, the hanyou's frown was bordering on `The Pout'. He compromised by hefting Kagome off the floor and stomping over to the wolf youkai with her securely cradled in his arms, much to everyone's disguised amusement.

Kouga stopped and turned back as Kagome reached out, ignoring InuYasha's warning growl. With an apologetic look, Kagome whipped the kotodama rosary off the wolf youkai and quickly pulled her hands back before InuYasha decided to attack again.

Kouga nodded and grinned at her. “Don't think this is over. I'll be back for you, as soon as I get this to Ginta and Hakkaku.”

InuYasha snorted loudly as Kouga hurried out the door.

Miroku chuckled. “I wouldn't worry, InuYasha . . . I'm sure that all Ichisaru smells on you is that you carry Kagome around quite often.”

InuYasha snorted again as he let Kagome down. She slipped back over to the place she had vacated, twisting the kotodama around her hands nervously.

“What I want to know is, why did he smell like Kagome to me but not to the runt?”

Kaede stared at InuYasha for a moment before she shook her head. “Is it not obvious, InuYasha? He smelled like Kagome because this youkai's toxin is still in your system. Ye smelled the youkai but since the toxin makes ye see the youkai as Kagome, then that is how it smells to ye, too. The only way this would happen is if the youkai that affected ye and the one that affected Kouga were one in the same.”

InuYasha made a face. “Keh. Then until I kill it, this youkai will continue to look and smell like Kagome to me?”

Miroku sighed. “So it seems.”

“InuYasha . . . when Kohaku first came back under Naraku's control, you asked me if I really could kill him since he still looked like my brother . . .” Sango said slowly. “Do you think . . . ?”

“Keh! This is different. Kagome will be with me. I'll know the difference.” He caught the doubting looks passing between Sango, Miroku, and Kaede. With a growl, he glared at them all. “Will you stop that? I ain't stupid! I think I can tell the difference between Kagome and a youkai!”

“Calm down, InuYasha, no one is saying you're stupid,” Miroku said reasonably. “But as hard as you try to hide it, we all know you well enough to know that it will be exceedingly difficult.”

“That is what makes butterfly youkai more formidable. They are not overly strong but they have very good defenses, like this toxin powder,” Sango said reasonably as Kagome lifted Marisaiko out of Sango's arms and held the baby close.

“And you're saying I can't track . . . Kagome?”

Miroku winced. Sango shrugged. Kaede nodded. Kagome concentrated on the baby she held.

“ _Can_ you do it, InuYasha?” Miroku asked again.

“Keh! Of course I can!” he scoffed.

Kagome peeked up in time to see the heightened color in InuYasha's cheeks, the hint of reluctance underlying the conviction in his voice. Miroku must have discerned the same because he shook his head slowly. “InuYasha . . . forgive me for reminding you, but you had trouble dealing with Kikyou when she was resurrected, didn't you? Do you really think you can hunt this youkai if she hides behind Kagome's face?”

InuYasha stubbornly shook his head. “It don't matter, monk. I have to, don't I?”

“Perhaps I ought to come with you,” Miroku said slowly. “And perhaps Kagome ought not to go with you . . .”

“I could come along, too . . . if Kagome wouldn't mind taking care of Marisaiko,” Sango asked hesitantly.

Kagome blinked and stared at the baby in her arms. Could she do that? Did she dare? A strange lump welled up in her throat. The girl's violet eyes focused on Kagome's face. ` _I want to, but I . . . oh, kami, I don't think I can_ _. . ._ '

InuYasha snorted. “It ain't necessary.” He turned and stalked toward the door. Stopping just before he headed outside, his gaze locked on Kagome. “You coming, wench?”

Kagome hurriedly kissed Marisaiko's cheek and handed her back to Sango.

“Be careful, Kagome!” Sango called after her as Kagome stood up to grab her backpack and hurried after InuYasha.

“I will!” she assured her friends before darting outside.

InuYasha took Kagome's bag and slung it over his shoulders before sweeping Kagome up into his arms and setting out in a sprint toward the forest.

“I can walk,” she pointed out as she wrapped her arms around his neck anyway.

“Keh! I'm putting as much distance between that damn wolf and us as I can,” he informed her.

Kagome sighed. “He brings a whole new meaning to the word `stubborn', doesn't he?”

InuYasha snorted and pushed himself faster. “Keh . . . and the word `bastard', too.”

She couldn't help but feel a little grateful to InuYasha for wanting to leave when he did. Sango's question kept echoing in her head, and truthfully, she wasn't sure she could have made such a decision, not yet. ` _I could come along, too . . . if Kagome wouldn't mind taking care of Marisaiko_ . . .'

She let her temple fall against InuYasha's shoulder. No, she didn't think she could have made a choice like that, at all . . . It was too new, too fresh, it would be too easy to forget that Marisaiko wasn't her child, and maybe . . . had InuYasha known that?

“You didn't want to stay, did you?” he asked quietly, almost as though he knew what she was thinking.

“Yes . . . and no . . .” She shook her head, unable to make sense of her growing confusion. “I don't know.”

InuYasha didn't ask for clarification. It struck her again, as it had so many times before, that somehow InuYasha just seemed to know what she needed lately, even if she, herself, didn't.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha rolled his eyes as Kagome stretched out on the ground, knees bent, feet flat, hands tucked behind her neck. Doing what she called `stomach crunches', she grimaced as she sat up halfway, held the position, then dropped back to the ground again. He was of the opinion that she was being a little ridiculous but since he didn't sense any real discomfort on her part, he wisely remained silent as she kept at her task.

“Forty-eight . . . forty-nine . . . fifty . . .”

Flopping back with a heavy sigh, Kagome rested for a moment before rolling over onto her side, propping her cheek on her hand as she stared across the encampment at InuYasha. “Done?” he asked, careful to keep his tone neutral.

“For now,” she agreed.

“Tell me again, why were you doing that?”

She made a face. “Because my stomach feels like Jell-o,” she told him. “You would know, if you ever had a baby.”

InuYasha's gaze narrowed at her teasing commentary. “I'll take your word on it, wench.”

“You could exercise with me,” she remarked. “Be supportive and all that.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Keh! You don't think I get enough of what you call `exercise' on my own? What would you call fighting off youkai?”

She grinned. “Of course you get plenty of exercise. I just meant that it would encourage me, if you did it, too.”

“I'll just watch you. More interesting.”

She heaved a sigh and dug into the bag for a bottle of water. He leaned forward and snatched the bottle out of her hand before she got a chance to drink. “Give that back!”

“What? It wasn't for me?”

She rolled her eyes and dug out another bottle. “Baka.”

“Wench.”

Kagome giggled between gulps of water. InuYasha drained his bottle and tossed it back to her. She stuck it back into the bag and recapped her bottle. “You're supposed to be supportive. That's what friends do,” she pointed out.

“I'm supportive,” he countered. “I let you carry that lecher's pup, didn't I?”

“ _Let_ me?”

“I didn't kill him. That was supportive enough.”

She dug a small rock out of the ground and tossed it at him.

InuYasha blocked it and snorted. “Keh! Like that's gonna hurt me.”

She did it again.

“Oi! Stop it, I'm warning you . . .”

And again.

His growl was the only warning he offered as he lunged toward her, catching her shoulders to push her back against the ground before he tossed a leg carelessly over hers to pin her in place. “You owe me an apology,” he informed her.

Kagome blanked her features. “All right. I'm sorry you're a baka.”

“Try again.”

“InuYasha . . . this isn't . . . get off me,” she choked out as hot color crept up her skin. All too aware of his proximity, it was all she could do to remember to breathe.

“Apologize and I will,” he challenged. She was trying to form a retort when he suddenly whined softly, forehead falling against her shoulder as he shifted his leg off her. “Keh,” he rasped out. “You're sorry.”

Before she could figure out what had gotten into him, he rolled to his feet and stomped over to the opposite side of the fire.

Kagome sat up slowly, willing her heart to stop pounding in her ears. Her hands were shaking when she straightened her blouse. InuYasha was carefully staring off into the trees.

“Well, I guess I'd better get some sleep,” Kagome announced in an overly bright tone. “Good night!”

InuYasha growled. Kagome frowned as she stared at him. Still staring into the trees, the hanyou slowly shifted his hand to Tetsusaiga as she sensed the approach of a strange youkai. “Stay back,” he mumbled. Kagome grabbed her bow and quiver of arrows and ran to duck behind him.

The ground gave off a small tremble just before the trees on the edge of the meadow started to tremble. Kagome gasped as a huge bear youkai lurched out of the trees. Raising his giant head as he sniffed the air, she could see the wan light of the crescent moon reflecting off the dilated pupils, off his red eyes. Opening his drooling maw to unleash an ungodly screech into the night, he slowly lumbered toward them as InuYasha drew Tetsusaiga.

“You reek of blood,” he commented as he hefted Tetsusaiga over his shoulder. “What the . . . ?”

Another presence twisted together with the bear's youki, a sinister feel that Kagome felt even across the distance. “InuYasha!”

“I know,” he called back. “Infested with vermin.”

“Shi . . . kon . . .” the bear uttered, his voice a mix of a primitive growl and a breathy demand.

“Keh! You gotta get through me to get the jewel, and I promise you, you won't get it.”

“Foolish hanyou!”

Caught off guard by the bear's sudden lunge, InuYasha sprang back, catching himself on one hand and propelling himself back onto his feet.

“InuYasha!”

“Fuck!” InuYasha growled as he shot forward to intercept the bear. It had altered its course and was chasing after Kagome with speed that it shouldn't have had. Kagome jerked an arrow out of the quiver and nocked it back as she ran. “No!” InuYasha shouted as she twisted her body around, firing the arrow as she fell to the ground.

In a flash of pink light, the arrow struck the bear's chest. The bear youkai didn't seem affected as it reared up over Kagome, claws flashing in the night.

InuYasha leaped off the ground, bringing down Tetsusaiga, embedding it into the bear's broad back with a sickening sound of metal meeting bone: a squishing noise, a suction giving way as InuYasha jerked the hilt, tearing the bear's back wide open.

With an unearthly howl of pain and rage, the bear swung his paws wildly, catching InuYasha directly in the chest, the bear. InuYasha let go of Tetsusaiga as his body was hurled back. He hit the ground hard and slid back as Kagome shrieked his name.

Shaking off the edges of fuzzy blackness, InuYasha staggered to his feet. Kagome was running again, and the damn bear was still lurching after her with Tetsusaiga still embedded in its back.

Moving as fast as he could, InuYasha closed the distance between himself and the injured youkai. The blade had transformed back to its rusty form after he'd been forced to let go. With a grimace, he launched himself at the bear, grabbing hold of the hilt. In a flash of yellowish light dulled by the youkai's body, the fang transformed again, and with a grunt, InuYasha wrenched the blade as blood spurted from the violent laceration. He'd stabbed the youkai's heart from behind . . .

The youkai screeched as its body swelled then burst in a cloud of dust. Tetsusaiga's blade fell heavily against the ground as InuYasha breathed hard.

“Fucking parasites,” InuYasha scoffed as he sheathed the sword and slowly turned to look for Kagome. She was no more than a blur to him, and suddenly she was there, arms wrapped tight around him as she buried her face in his haori. “You all right?”

She nodded as he lifted his arms to clumsily pat her back.

“For future reference, wench, when a youkai is on your ass, you'd do better to keep running,” he scolded though his tone was more relieved than angry.

She choked out a weak laugh and squeezed him tighter. He sighed and gave up, stroking her hair as he waited for her to calm down enough to peel herself away from him as a small, tired smile surfaced on his lips.

Her heart pounded so hard that he could feel it thumping against him like a wild creature trying to escape. Closing his eyes and rubbing his cheek against her hair, the curious rumbling sound he'd made before welled up inside him, offering her comfort as he held her tight. Slowly she relaxed against him, her breathing slowing as the rapid pounding of her heart diminished to normal. Her arms loosened around him but didn't fall away. InuYasha bent down, caught her behind the knees, lifted her up to carry her back to the campfire.

“Go to sleep, Kagome,” he said as he set her on her feet. She didn't argue as she crawled into her blankets and curled up on her side. Her dark eyes stared at him in the wan firelight. InuYasha saw her through the corner or his eye as he sank down beside her. He could sense her exhaustion. She'd only slept sporadically at best the night before. ` _Yet another thing I can blame on that damn wolf_ ,' he decided with a disgusted snort. ` _That bastard damn well better remember to use that cure, or I'll fucking cut off his head . . . or something else_ . . .'

InuYasha stifled a yawn. Kagome was already asleep. ` _Can't hurt to lie down with her . . . just for awhile_ ,' he thought as he scooted behind her and stretched out. ` _I'll know it if anything comes along_ . . .'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kouga:**  
>  I'll be back to claim you, Kagome!


	33. Blame it on the Youkai

 

~~ ** _Chapter 33_** ~~  
~ ** _Blame it on the Youkai_** ~

 

`I hear . . . singing . . . ?'

 

:

 

` _Rest, sweet nymphs, let golden sleep_.  
_Charm your starbrighter eyes_ ,  
_Whiles my lute the watch doth keep_.  
_With pleasing sympathies_.  
_Lu-la lullaby, lullaby_!  
_Sleep sweetly, Sleep sweetly_ ,  
_Let nothing affright ye_ ;  
_In calm contentment lie_.'

 

:

  
_Wandering through the misty meadow, following the song, the voice_ _. . ._ _InuYasha frowned at the wash of summer flowers dotting the field_. `Where . . . am I?'

_The mist slowly dissipated, the morning sun burning off the blanket_ _that covered_ _the land._ _Kagome sat in a ring of_ _soft pink flowers with blossoms in her hai_ _r, tucked behind her ears, entwined_ _in the long locks spilling down her back as a breeze toyed with her bangs, blew her scent to him. “Kagome? Where are we?_ ”

_She didn't answer him as she smiled and patted the grass beside her. “InuYasha . . . watch the clouds with me?_ ”

“. . . _Okay_.”

_Stretching out beside her as she lay down and stared at the floating clouds_ _, InuYasha breathed in her scent_ _. “That one looks like a rabbit,” she said, pointing at a fluffy formation_.

“ _Keh. Looks like Shippou_.”

“ _It doesn't!” she exclaimed with a giggle. “You're terrible!_ ”

_He tried not to smile. “There. That one's fat like Kaede_.”

_She nudged him with her elbow. “_ _Oh, look! That one looks like a heart!_ ”

“ _A deformed heart,” he agreed_.

_Kagome sighed and rolled over onto her side. “If you're not going to cooperate then you might as well get out of my dream, dog-boy_.”

_He blinked, turning his head to stare at her. “Is that what this is? Your dream?_ ”

_Kagome shrugged. “I think so . . . but what are you doing here?_ ”

_InuYasha frowned. “Keh. I dunno . . . it's your dream, remember?_ ”

“ _I know, but you've only talked to me once in my dreams_ . . .”

_InuYasha felt his cheeks warm as he turned his gaze back to the sky. “I dunno_ _. . ._ _Stop dragging me into your sordid dreams then_.”

“ _Me?” she squeaked. “I didn't_ _—_ _you just_ _—_ _it's not my fault you're invading my dreams!_ ”

“ _Don't choke on it, wench,” he said with a snort. “Oi, look! It's Kouga getting Tetsusaiga shoved up his_ —”

“ _Invading my dreams to shove Tetsusaiga places where it ought not be?” she complained as she flopped back on the grass again. “Fine_ . . .”

“ _What am I supposed to do?” he grumbled. “You're the one who said you wanted to look at the clouds_.”

_To his surprise Kagome uttered a sound suspiciously like a growl. Shifting his gaze to the side, he was even more surprised to see her staring back at him in much the same way. The intensity in her eyes drew his full attention, and he blinked. “What are you thinking?” he asked slowly_.

“. . . _Nothing_ . . .”

_InuYasha_ _snorted to let her know that he wasn't buying her feigned innocence. “If you want something, wench, just spit it out_ . . .”

“ _I don't want anything!” she insisted a little too quickly_.

_InuYasha chuckled. “Your loss_.”

“ _Hentai,” she mumbled_.

“ _I'm not the one having ecchi dreams, Kagome_.”

“ _I'm not having_ _—_ _hrumph_.”

_“You are,” he challenged, rolling toward her, tossing a leg over hers to pin her. Replaying the pose that had nearly goaded him into something that both frightened and thrilled him earlier, the same sensations rippled over him now, only this time, in this place, he didn't move away_.

“ _I . . . I can't breathe . . .” Kagome murmured as she stared up at him_.

“ _Still talking . . . means you're lying,” he countered_.

_She shook her head. “Does it?_ ”

_He nodded slowly, extending his index finger to trace the outline of her lips. Her eyes drifted closed as her breath whooshed out of her body. “Admit it_.”

“ _Admit . . . what?” she managed, her voice husky with bemusement_.

“ _Admit that you're lying_ . . .”

“ _I'm . . . not_ . . .”

_Her lips parted as her shallow breathing echoed in his ears. Mesmerized by the flush kissing her cheeks, by the softness of her fluttering eyelashes, InuYasha stared at her as her tongue flicked out, touched his fingertip, his claw._ _With a soft groan, InuYasha leaned down, let his lips fall to hers. She sighed as her hands wrapped around his neck, holding him to her as the gentle kiss he'd intended burgeoned into something greater_ . . .

_A fierce desire to take whatever she was willing to give fought against the thread of reason that_ _held the last of his sanity. Too easy to lose himself in her, too simple to let go. Her scent made him feel giddy, light-headed as a delicious sense of languor combined with a darker emotion that he couldn't name. She held no hesitation in her kisses, surrendered completely as his fangs grazed her lips, as he delved his tongue into her mouth, gently, timidly at first, with far more daring when she moaned softly, when she arched off the ground to press herself against him_.

_Pulling his mouth away from hers, he trailed wet kisses down her throat. Settling on the pulse that throbbed under his lips, InuYasha was rewarded with her soft cry, with the shivers that raced through her body and into him. “Inu . . . InuYasha . . . I . . . kami . . . it hurts_ . . .”

_Leaning back quickly, he gazed down at her in concern. “I . . . did I . . . ?_ ”

_She opened her eyes halfway, stared at him through her lashes. “_ _Not hurt, like that . . . kiss me again_.”

_Still not fully understanding what she meant, InuYasha did as she requested, kissing her gently, trying to soothe whatever ache she_ _suffered_ _. Her hands shoved at his haori and undershirt impatiently, the hands she used to heal him time and again burning a path on his flesh everywhere she touched him. Kneading his muscles like a contented cat, the searing heat of her touch shot through him, converged into a central fire, an ache he knew far too well_.

`That's what . . . she hurts . . . ? Like . . . I do . . . ?'

_That knowledge was heady, frightening and somehow thrilling at the same time. It goaded him,_ _taunted him, and he passed that on to Kagome with light touches, gentle caresses, stroking her body through the thin fabric of her summer blouse. Too much desire, too much want, too much need; a need that ached_.

_His claws tore through the flimsy material, slit thro_ _ugh the elastic band of her bra_ _just before his shaking hand covered her breast._ _She swelled under his touch as she whimpered. Her body spoke to him when her words seemed to fail her, rising against him, wrapping him in a balm of heat that was hotter than the sun. Broken words, breathy whispers, she tried to ask him to assuage her ache. Reacting on instinct, guided by some baser knowledge, he let go of her breast only to cover it with his mouth, holding her body against him as she reared up, as she pushed against him and tried to pull away at the same time. His name spilled from her lips as her scent escalated. Far too inebriating, much too strong to ignore_ . . .

_The need of the flesh overrode all else. Kagome's skin was hot_ _—_ _too hot, too perfect, too inviting. The taste of her mingled with the harsh moans that echoed in his ears; the scent that wrapped around him was far too perfect to ignore._ _She did the only thing she knew how to do: she gave him everything_ _—_ _heart, mind, soul. Simple, beautiful . . . Kagome_ . . .

_She fed off his emotion, her sensation based in him. Every tremor in his body became hers, every ragged breath flowing from one to the other. He marveled in her beauty as she reveled in his strength. Blossoming, centering, twisting, and convoluting, he felt a tug at his waist but it made no sense. Dragging his fangs over the tender skin of her_ _breasts_ _, he soothed her with tickling kisses, inhaled her scent as she invaded every recess of his mind_.

_Unprepared for the scorch of her hands, he gasped and leaned up, away. A visceral growl as her fingers touched him, as her hands enveloped him_ _. A ragged cry as he struggled to understand what was happening_.

Eyes opening with flash of golden shock, InuYasha's startled gaze fell on the campfire then down to Kagome's face. Her eyes were open, too, and the bewilderment was enough to jar him out of his delayed reaction as he realized a few things. They had been dreaming together again and had both been enjoying that dream far too much. His own thoughts came back to haunt him, ` _Can't hurt to lie down with her . . . just for awhile_ . . .' and he winced. ` _Can't hurt, huh?_ ' Her hands were in his hakama, still wrapped around him, and if _she_ realized that, he wasn't sure. All in all, the feel of her hands . . . he groaned softly, trying to forget exactly what she was doing. The dream had been a little _too_ real, a little too nice . . .

With a gasp, Kagome jerked her hands away from him and quickly threw her blankets over her head as embarrassed color shot to her cheeks, as tears washed into her eyes. InuYasha winced as he hurriedly fixed his clothes, racking his brain for something— _anything_ —that he could say that wouldn't sound . . . stupid.

` _Baka! You forgot to shake the fucking vial!_ '

InuYasha scowled. How could he have forgotten that? “Damn it,” he grumbled, yanking the vial out of his undershirt and glaring at it. “Kagome?”

She didn't answer. His ears drooped. He knew this ploy of hers: pretending to be asleep . . . she'd done that before. He'd almost given up since she'd only end up even more embarrassed or angry if he pressed the issue when she lowered the blanket enough to peek over the top, her eyes still moist and glistening, her eyelashes spiky with her tears. “Would you . . . hand me my bag, please?” she asked, her tone prim and proper, carefully polite.

His frown deepened but he did as she asked. She made no move to reach for it. “Your bag?” he growled, unable to keep the frustration out of his voice since he was still suffering the effects of the position they'd been in.

She cleared her throat. The bit of her cheeks he could see over the top of the blanket turned a little redder. “Could you . . . give me a shirt, please?”

Stifling a groan, InuYasha realized what he should have realized before. If she had her hands . . . there . . . then it was a good guess that he really had shredded her blouse . . . among other things. Trying to control his own skyrocketing embarrassment, InuYasha hurriedly grabbed the first shirt he laid hands on and thrust it out in front of her face.

It was so close to her that she crossed her eyes as she looked at it. Her fingers shook as they crept out of the blanket to take the blouse, and she disappeared back under the blankets once more.

InuYasha waited until the fight under the blanket stopped and Kagome lay still once more before he spoke. “Uh, Kagome?”

Her answer was a long sigh.

“You . . . uh . . . you want to shake this thing now?”

Throwing the blanket back, and pinning him with a menacing glower, Kagome looked like she was contemplating his painful demise. He recoiled as she opened her mouth. “You _hentai!_ ” she shrieked. “Shake _it_ yourself!”

“Wha—? What are you bellowing at me for? _You_ forgot to shake this damn thing, too!”

The anger suddenly drained out of Kagome's expression as she stared at the talisman he stuck under her nose. If he didn't see it with his own eyes, he wouldn't have believed that her face could get any redder. She darkened about three more shades as she hurriedly took the vial and shook it fast, letting go as soon as the tenth shake was complete before she uttered a slight whimpering groan and dragged the blanket back over her head again.

InuYasha shook the talisman, too, and tucked it away with a sigh. “You can't hide forever,” he informed her in what he only prayed was a neutral tone.

“I can,” she argued.

And she didn't come out the rest of the night.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“I don't think I remember you ever being this quiet, wench.”

Kagome's cheeks reddened. “Was there something you wanted to discuss?”

That was a loaded question. There wasn't a good answer to it, in her opinion. Maintaining her silence for the better part of the day, she had been reluctant to talk about what had happened the night before. ` _Ugh, how humiliating! The kissing wasn't so bad_ _. None of it was `bad' . . . just embarrassing_ _. . . but_ _. . ._ _Oh! Don't even think about it!_ ' If she thought she could have gotten away with wearing the blanket over her head all day, she would have done that . . .

InuYasha stopped and stared around the small clearing before dropping her bag and stretching. “Looks like a good place to camp . . . I'll go hunt something for dinner.”

Kagome watched his retreating back in silence before she shook her head and hurried off to find some firewood. ` _Are you more irritated about what happened or that you both woke up?_ '

She made a face as she snatched up a few bits of kindling wood. ` _As if I'll really answer that_.'

The trouble was that she really hadn't minded it, at all . . . well, embarrassment notwithstanding, and who wouldn't have been mortified to wake up with their hands in places that they probably shouldn't have been?

Deliberately blanking her mind as she finished her task and started the fire, she shook her head slowly and pulled the pot out of her bag to get water from the nearby pond.

As she pushed aside the branch that blocked the path to the pond, Kagome gasped softly and stopped short, letting go of the brush. It hit her in the chest. She ignored it.

Standing under the waterfall in water that only reached mid-thigh was a very, very naked hanyou who luckily had his back toward her at the moment. An immediate wash of heat flooded her face yet again as another curious explosion went off somewhere deep inside her belly. Her mind screamed at her to look away. Her eyes weren't getting the message.

Across the distance, she could see the muscles rippling under his skin, every movement he made set off a chain reaction that culminated in an absolute wonder. ` _He's . . . amazing_ . . .' Something incredible, entirely unpredictable, grace and fluidity in his every motion . . . did he know? Did he have any idea? Though his body was more sinewy and lithe than professional bodybuilders or action movie heroes, she was pretty sure that InuYasha could give them a run for their money in sheer beauty alone. Defined and trim with a narrow waist and broad shoulders, Kagome stared, transfixed. She knew the power he possessed, had seen him fight too many times not to know, and yet she knew his gentle side, the one he tried so hard to hide—the side of him that she loved.

Even now, when he didn't know she was watching, there was a certain softness, a resonating sense of protection. Paradox in motion, he was. In a moment he could make her feel a thousand things, divergent things, things that frightened her and thrilled her and made her want to feel more. This rare man, this enigma . . . she'd seen the look in his eyes, knew the thoughts that hung onto his mind. How many times had he heard those things? Abomination, a half-breed, deformed . . . Staring at InuYasha standing under the current of water, an overwhelming outrage twisted her stomach. How could someone so poetic in his poise and stature think even for a moment that he was anything less?

Leaning his head back as he let the water cascade over him, InuYasha seemed content to let himself be inundated by the coursing liquid. Kagome smiled as she watched him. His hair looked like sterling silver, darkened slightly by the water. Ears flattened to keep from getting wet, he rolled his head from side to side, as though his body was sore.

Kagome winced. In all the upset from the night before, she hadn't once thought about how he felt after being thrown by the bear youkai. Then she'd spent the majority of the day avoiding any and all contact with him, all because . . .

She sighed. ` _How could_ _I have_ _b_ _e_ _e_ _n_ _so thoughtless? Embarrassed, sure, but that doesn't give_ _me_ _the right to ignore InuYasha's needs, does it?_ ' She made a face. So used to his obvious strength, his fast healing, she'd taken for granted that he was bound to have aches and pains, just like everyone else, even if they didn't last quite as long.

InuYasha suddenly turned his head slightly, ears perking up as the tiny radar-like triangles twitched. Kagome made a face and hurriedly ran back to camp as quietly as she could, heart hammering against her ribcage as she hoped that InuYasha hadn't caught her staring.

Since she hadn't been able to get water, she dumped the remaining bottles into the pan and set it on the fire to heat before digging two ramen containers out of the bag.

She couldn't get the image of InuYasha under the waterfall out of her head as she stacked some wood together away from the fire. Relatively certain that she'd be blushing for the rest of her life, Kagome tried not to think about him, about _them_ , about what she'd seen by the pond and certainly not about the dream they'd shared in the night.

` _Right, Kagome. Don't think about it. You think you can forget?_ '

Stubbornly wrinkling her nose as she poured boiling water into the ramen and set them aside to finish off, she nodded. ` _I can try, can't I?_ '

` _Try all you want_ ,' her mind scoffed, ` _but you'll still remember . . . and you'll remember that you wanted him to keep going, too_ . . .'

Kagome frowned as she sat down, wrapping her arms around her raised knees. ` _But not . . . in my sleep_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha scowled at the burning logs as they slowly broke down into cinders and ash. Arms wrapped around Tetsusaiga despite knowing that the sword wouldn't react to him in this form, he leaned back against a tree trunk and raised his eyes to the branches above.

Kagome stifled a sigh. It always seemed to her that he missed being able to sit in trees more when he was human, like tonight. She knew he felt more vulnerable, less in control as a human, and while she didn't think he should consider it a weakness, she also knew that he did. That had to have been the reason he hadn't smelled her when she'd watched him in the pond earlier. His senses always seemed a little weaker just before the new moon.

“InuYasha?”

He didn't lower his gaze from the trees as he grunted in reply.

“Are you okay? Did you get hurt last night? With the youkai, I mean?”

Very slowly, InuYasha lowered his eyes to scowl at Kagome. “Why? Because I'm a weak, pathetic human now?”

She frowned and shook her head. “No . . . because I forgot to ask . . .”

“I'm fine,” he assured her acidly, turning his face to the side. “Don't you have some `exercises' to do or something?”

With a sigh, Kagome stood up and wandered over to him before kneeling down and slowly pushed his hair out of his face as she tried not to blush. “I'm sorry . . . about last night . . . and today.”

He ducked his head away from her reach and glared out of the corner of his eye. “Whatever, wench.”

“Can I ask you something?” She took his silence to be his agreement. Gathering her courage, it took a minute for her to force herself to ask him the one question that had been bothering her most of all. “Last night . . . you were there, right? In my dream?”

He nodded slowly as color flooded his cheeks. Still refusing to look at her, InuYasha stubbornly stared at the darkened forest. She could tell by the way his back stiffened that he was as uncomfortable as she was. Still . . .

“It was because we didn't shake the vial, right?”

He nodded again.

“So . . . if we forget to shake it . . .”

He sighed. “Choke on it, why don't you?” he grumbled.

She frowned. “I was just trying to understand everything, is all.”

He let his head fall back against the tree and finally turned his face toward her. “Yes, Kagome, that's exactly what happens.”

“If you hadn't woke up, or if I hadn't . . . would we have—?”

An even deeper shade of red engulfed InuYasha's features. “Keh.”

“I see . . . “

He stared at her with a strange intensity behind his gaze, a searching look meant to discern what she was thinking. For a moment, she thought maybe he would kiss her as his eyes dropped to her lips. Her heart stuttered an unsteady rhythm as it felt as though a thousand tremors erupted in her belly. He leaned away from the tree, slowly bringing his face toward hers. Her eyes fluttered closed as she pressed a hand against her heart, willing her body to stop shaking. His hand closed over hers, pulled it away from her chest. He closed her hand around something small and hard, and she looked down to see the vial, clutched in her fist.

“Shake it, wench.”

The color that blossomed on her cheeks had very little to do with embarrassment but had everything to do with absolute irritation. She shook the vial, jerking on the string and forcing him to lean in closer before she flung it away and stood up with a frustrated sigh. She stomped over to her bedroll and climbed in, covering her head as well as the rest of her body for the second night in a row. “And _that_ would have been a fate worse than death, wouldn't it?” she grumbled sarcastically under her breath. “Heaven forbid he would want to do _that_ with a pathetic human like _me_.”

“Oi, Kagome! I'm human, remember? If you're gonna say something, then say it loud enough for me to hear!”

“Okay, how about this: _baka!_ ” she hollered without emerging from the blankets.

“Baka?” he repeated incredulously. “What the hell did _I_ do?”

“Nothing,” she ground out as she tossed the blankets back and sat up. “You didn't do a thing, and why would you want to? Oh, sometimes, InuYasha . . .”

“What the fuck are you so mad about?” he bellowed.

` _Go ahead, Kagome, tell him why . . . you're mad because he didn't kiss you when you thought he was going to_.'

Kagome made a face. ` _Shut up_.' “I'm not mad,” she bit out.

“Keh! For not being mad you sure as hell seem like you are!”

“Well, you should keep your _looks_ to yourself, and maybe I'd stop _seeming_ so mad!”

“What?”

“You heard me! And another thing, dog-boy!” she yelled as she yanked her bag onto her lap and rummaged through it until she located the unscented soap she always carried for him. She heaved the bar at his chest and set the bag aside with a hefty plop. “Next time you try to wash off my pathetic human smell, _use soap!_ ”

She allowed herself precisely ten seconds to savor the absolute shock on his face before flopping back down and dragging the blankets back over her head once more.

Seconds later, she realized that it might have been a mistake to cover her head. With a grunt as something entirely unyielding smashed her pelvis into the ground, Kagome squeaked as the blanket was yanked away from her face. A very angry looking human InuYasha straddled her and was glaring at her with such fierceness that his eyes seemed to be glowing. “What the hell did that mean?” he demanded in a low growl.

“Get off me,” she countered, bucking her hips and trying to unseat him.

His eyebrows shot up though his glower remained. “Answer me first.”

She felt her face heating under his scrutiny. “I went to get water,” she mumbled. “Now get off!”

He considered that before shaking his head slowly. “Apologize first.”

“What for?”

“For calling me a baka . . . and for throwing soap at me.”

“I'm sorry you're a baka, and I'm sorry the soap _missed your head_ _!_ ”

“Keh!”

“You're crushing me,” she complained.

“You don't think I don't know I'm not?”

“And how would you know that?”

“I know how much I weigh, wench. I'm not crushing you.”

“Hmph.”

“Tell me why you're so mad.”

“I told you,” she retorted.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm a baka . . . now what's the real reason?”

Kagome glared up at him, refusing to say what, exactly, was bothering her. After a few moments of mulish silence, InuYasha snorted. “All right, I can sit here all night.” To emphasize his point, he bounced up and down a few times.

“Stop that! Get off me!”

“Fess up.”

With a frustrated growl, Kagome decided on another tactic. “Oh . . . can't . . . breathe . . . crushing . . . me . . .” and added a gasp for good measure.

InuYasha rolled his eyes. “That might work better, wench, if I was sitting on your chest, which I'm not.”

“I _know_ where you're sitting, baka!” she shot back as a hot flush washed over her again. She bucked her hips again. “This isn't funny! Get off!”

“If this is all about the damn vial, I forgot. Being attacked in the middle of the night sorta does that to you.”

She snorted. “Blaming it on the youkai, InuYasha?”

He nodded slowly. “Whatever works, wench.” Something else seemed to occur to him, and his eyes slowly took on a suspicious glow. “How long did you watch me at the pond?”

Kagome snapped her mouth closed and turned her face away.

“That long, huh?”

` _One-one thousand, two-one thousand, three-one thousand_ _—_ _don't blush, Kagome! Four-one thousand, five-one thousand_ . . .'

“It's rude to watch someone bathing,” he pointed out in a much too-reasonable tone.

Kagome sat up as best as she could as her mouth fell open in outraged shock. “You're lecturing me about rudeness? _You're sitting on me!_ ”

“Yeah? And you had your hands down my—”

“Don't say it!” she cut in as violent color rushed to her skin despite her best efforts to keep it back.

A predatory gleam filtered into his gaze, a hint of humor behind the intense light. “—Hakama.”

“Well at least _I_ didn't claw _your_ shirt off, baka!”

“Stop calling me baka or—-”

“Or _what?_ ”

“Or I'll sit here the rest of the night!”

“Did you shake that vial?” she hollered.

A look of complete befuddlement surfaced on his face as his anger receded. “Where did _that_ come from?”

Kagome flopped back against the ground and turned her head away. “Because heaven forbid you should have one of your dreams again, so _if_ you do, you can't say I _didn't_ give you the soap . . . _baka!_ ”

He suddenly scooted off her but stayed beside her with his glower in place as he sputtered indignantly. “Is _that_ what this is all about? You think . . . are you stupid? That wasn't . . . Keh!”

Kagome watched as he shook the vial and shoved it back into his undershirt again.

“Go to sleep, Kagome. No use in both of us sitting up all night,” he grumbled.

She sighed, her anger melting away as quickly as snow in the first warm spring rain. The way he looked—so puzzled, so sad . . . how could she stay angry with him, ever? In a world where nothing seemed to stay the same, when everything else confused and scared her, InuYasha was the constant, the one person she knew wouldn't let the bad things happen. She trusted him when she couldn't even trust herself. “InuYasha?”

“What?”

“If it matters . . . I'm not really mad about the shirt.”

He blinked in surprise and stared at her. “You . . . sure?”

She made herself nod and fought back the urge to hide under her blankets again.

He grinned just a little. “If it'd make you feel better, you could cut up my haori . . . `course, it'd just repair itself . . .”

She giggled as she closed her eyes. “Goodnight, InuYasha.”

He stared at her for a long time. She was almost asleep when she felt his human fingers smoothing her hair. “Good night, Kagome.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Rest, Sweet Nymphs** by Francis Pilkington.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  … … …Hmm … I think I like the wench's dreams … … …  
> ==========


	34. Dissatisfaction

 

~~ ** _Chapter 34_** ~~  
~ ** _Dissatisfaction_** ~

 

Hisadaicho dug her pointed fingernails into the soft pillow as she clenched her jaw, trying to repress her anger. ` _I had him right where I wanted him! How did he escape me?_ '

Aki continued his gentle ministrations, working the tight muscles in his lady's shoulders and back. She hissed sharply as he found a particularly sore spot.

` _He's nothing more than a petty youkai . . . he should have been easily subdued_ _. . ._ _Who could have countered my toxin?_ '

A flash of memory, of Kouga's ardent attentions . . . a welcome diversion . . . ` _He is a decent lover, I'll give him that_ . . .' She sighed as Aki's hands slipped lower on her back. ` _Too bad he has to die_ _. . ._ _If I can't use him, then I'll just have to kill him_ . . .'

At first, the images conjured in the smoke had been the same. Slowly, though, they started to calm, to dissipate. Last night she'd been unable to track any trace of the toxin in the wolf youkai's system. He managed to find a cure.

And, too, was the problem Sesshoumaru presented.

A plan began to form in her mind, a way to kill two birds with one stone . . . or two dogs . . .

Rolling over on the futon, Hisadaicho's eyes brightened, and she smiled as Aki's voracious mouth fell over one of her breasts as a hand lifted to cover the other. “Aki . . . I need you to bring me someone . . .”

The servant leaned away long enough to nod, sliding the length of his finger into her quivering flesh. “As you wish, Hisadaicho-sama.”

Her smile widened. “Bring me a maiden, Aki . . . any maiden will suffice . . . But first . . .”

His vacant eyes seemed to spark for just a moment as he shifted his position to kneel between her thighs. “As you wish,” he agreed again.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“So did you find anything?” Sango asked as she bathed Marisaiko near the fire. The month old baby whimpered in protest as Sango gently washed her hair. The sound dug at Kagome's already frayed nerves, and she gritted her teeth together, pushing aside her unreasonable upset that Marisaiko should be unhappy.

Kagome sighed and wrinkled her nose. “Not a thing.”

“That must be why InuYasha is in such a foul mood,” Miroku surmised with a sage nod, as though it all made sense to him now.

Kagome didn't answer as she grabbed her bag and hefted it over her shoulder. “I've got to go. I need to go home, re-supply, and check in with Mama. I'll be back later.” With what she hoped was a jaunty wave, Kagome hurried out of the hut into the early spring sunshine.

Shippou ran toward her, hollering her name as a happy smile broke over his adorable face. “Kagome! You're back!”

She caught him and hugged him as Ichisaru shimmied up her leg. “How have you two been? Staying out of trouble?”

Shippou shrugged. “Ichisaru got growled at for doing monkey shake to Kaede . . .”

Kagome tried not to laugh at the sad look on the monkey youkai's face. “Did you explain that it didn't mean anything bad?”

Ichisaru nodded. “No one understands me,” he lamented.

Kagome couldn't help laughing at the woebegone expression on his face.

“Are you going back to your time, Kagome?” Shippou asked.

“Yep. Why? Did you eat all the pocky I brought you the last time?”

Shippou shot her a cheesy grin. “It wasn't _my_ fault. Marisaiko cries all night and keeps everyone awake, and I get hungry.”

Kagome's step faltered for a moment. “She does? Why?”

Ichisaru shrugged. “I don't know . . . Miroku and Sango walk around with her all night but she just cries.”

The two children hopped down and ran off after reminding Kagome to bring them pocky. Kagome headed down the path toward the Bone Eater's Well with a thoughtful frown. ` _Sounds like colic_ ,' she mused. ` _The poor baby . . . and poor Sango and Miroku . . . that's got to be hard to deal with_ . . .'

Staring up at the patches of blue sky that shined high above through the trees, Kagome tried to make sense of everything. It seemed like her life was spinning out of her control. The time away had been good for her. She'd begun to rediscover who she was inside, had started to distinguish between Kagome-the-Surrogate and Kagome-the-Person. In a round about way, InuYasha had helped her with that, even if he hadn't known it at the time. He'd given her more to think about, even if the things were almost enough to set her teeth to grinding.

Add that to InuYasha's volatile temper of late, and Kagome sighed again.

She was sure that part of his frustration had been caused by the fact that they hadn't been able to track down anything or anyone that could lead them to this butterfly youkai. The majority of it, though, was because of the strange tension between them. Since the night of the new moon, it had seemed like neither of them could really find much to talk about. Strained silence pervaded everything, from making camp to traveling. Even in the encounters InuYasha had fought, there had been a stiffness that she couldn't comprehend.

She'd caught him staring at her over the campfire numerous times, eyes clouded by a nameless emotion, a fierceness that always made her forget to breathe. A few more times, she really had believed that he was going to kiss her. Something had always stopped him, and, red-faced, he had turned away. It was enough to make her want to scream.

Heaving yet another sigh, Kagome shook her head as she stepped out of the forest and headed toward the time slip. A nice, hot bath and a nap were in order, she decided. With a grimace, she stopped short, staring at the well as her shoulders slumped in defeat. ` _I can't take a nap without asking InuYasha to come with me, and he's in such a temperamental mood that he'd say no just to spite me since shaking the vial won't work if he stays here_ . . .'

Kagome hitched up the bag on her back and climbed over the edge of the well before dropping into the time slip.

She didn't see the crimson-clad figure standing at the edge of the clearing, arms crossed over his chest as the breeze whipped his hair into his face, and she didn't see the sad look of longing that culminated in his gaze.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha knelt beside the well as his ears drooped, staring into the empty void with a sadness that he couldn't hide.

The emptiness she left behind never failed to gnaw at him. ` _Admit it:_ _you miss the wench, and she just left_ . . .'

Making a face, InuYasha snorted. ` _Keh. I don't miss her . . . but she does have to shake the damn vial_ . . .'

He didn't miss her at all . . . didn't miss her laughter, didn't miss her smile, didn't miss the way she stared at him, as though he were the only other creature on earth . . .

` _Stop thinking about her and concentrate! You know what you've got to do, now think!_ _If you ever hope to have any kind of, well, anything with her, you've got to make sure she's safe, and you've got to keep your promise to Kikyou!_ _Where else can you look for that damn butterfly youkai?_ '

And he couldn't get Bokuseno's words out of his head, either, replaying them over and over again, as though there were something that he just couldn't quite grasp. ` _I've heard whispers of rumors on the winds that have filtered through my branches, InuYasha. They say that an evil has come, that this evil seeks to find the jewel . . . and to create something far more sinister than you can possibly imagine_ . . .'

InuYasha sighed and shook his head. ` _Not one damn thing makes sense! Something evil . . . finding the butterfly bitch . . . Kagome . . . none of it!_ ' And yet why did he feel as though all three of those were somehow connected?

He dug his claws into the wooden ledge. He didn't know where to find this evil thing. He had no idea what he'd even be looking for. He couldn't find as much as a trace of the youkai. He and Kagome had searched for over two weeks to find her trail and came up empty. She couldn't just disappear.

The only thing he did understand was that until he found and dealt with that youkai, everything else had to wait. Everything else had to be set aside while he tried to locate her. He had to avenge Kikyou, he had to protect Kagome, and he couldn't do that if he was too preoccupied with the miko and with what she did to him.

The problem was that Kagome was getting harder and harder to ignore. If he had thought that the dreams were bad, he'd learned since the one night that there were things that could be so much worse. Waking up with Kagome that close, with her hands wrapped around him . . .

He deliberately pushed that memory aside. ` _Keh! You're stronger than that, baka_ . . .'

His ears flattened even more, and he winced, tucking his nose into his folded hands. Maybe . . . maybe he really wasn't, not when it came to Kagome . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Mama, I'm back!”

Mrs. Higurashi ducked out of the kitchen with a wide smile and hurried over to hug her daughter. “Kagome! I'm glad you're back! You look exhausted. Shall I draw you a bath?”

Kagome grinned. “That sounds nice . . . maybe in awhile? I could really use a cup of tea.”

Mrs. Higurashi's smile widened. “Sure!”

Kagome followed her into the kitchen and sat down while her mother poured her some tea. “There you go . . . how was your trip?”

“We didn't find the youkai we were after.”

“Well, I'm glad you're safe.”

Kagome took a cautious sip of the hot tea. “Marisaiko has colic.”

“Oh . . . poor baby. How are Miroku and Sango dealing with it?”

“They seem okay . . . Shippou said that Marisaiko cries all night, though.”

Mrs. Higurashi leaned back in her chair and regarded her quietly. “Maybe you should stay here awhile, Kagome.”

Kagome blinked in surprise and set her cup down. “Why?”

“Can you really bear to hear her cry all night?” she asked gently.

Kagome shrugged, idly turning the cup in circles. “I was thinking . . . I thought maybe it'd be okay to offer to watch her for the night, so they can have a break.”

Mrs. Higurashi sighed. “Is that a good idea?”

Kagome nodded slowly. “I think it'd be okay. I think I'm better now than I was before.”

“And what does InuYasha think?”

Kagome frowned. “He wouldn't notice. He hasn't noticed much of anything lately.”

Her mother chuckled at the sullen note in Kagome's voice. “I find that hard to believe, dear.”

Shaking her head, Kagome stuck her finger in the tea, idly swirling the liquid. “I haven't really talked to him in days. Every time I try, he just sits there, like he can't even hear me . . .”

Mrs. Higurashi ignored Kagome's preoccupied rudeness. “Is something bothering him?”

Kagome wrinkled her nose and stuck her finger in her mouth. “I don't know.”

“Maybe you should try talking to him again.”

Kagome nodded and offered her mother a half-hearted smile. “I could use that bath now.”

Mrs. Higurashi smiled. “All right.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha hopped out of the darkness and lifted his nose to sniff the air as he stomped out of the well-house. Kagome's scent was faint but grew stronger as he neared the shrine. Pausing for a moment long enough to stare at the sun as it sank closer to the horizon, he uttered a frustrated growl.

He made a face. The plan was to have Kagome shake the vial and he'd spend the night in Goshinboku—where he didn't have to smell her all night—at least, not as strongly as normal.

He changed his mind and hopped onto the roof next to Kagome's window. She was there, alone, stuffing things into her backpack.

“Kagome!”

The girl turned at her mother's voice and hurried out of the room. “Coming!”

InuYasha pushed against the window and dropped into the empty room, breathing deep. Kagome's scent was so welcome, so inviting . . . almost painful.

Stifling a whine, InuYasha suddenly had to get out of her room. Her scent was too strong, too overwhelming . . . With a snort, he stomped to the door and headed down the hallway toward the stairs. He wasn't even halfway down when he realized she was in the kitchen. He headed that way. Mrs. Higurashi's question stopped him.

“Kagome . . . I was wondering if you could tell me what happened to your blouse and . . . bra . . . ?”

InuYasha winced. The wince turned into a grimace as he sensed the change in Kagome's body temperature. ` _Keh! don't do that, wench!_ '

“Oh, uh . . . we were attacked by a youkai, and . . . um . . . yeah . . .”

The grimace turned into a stifled groan as InuYasha's face erupted in hot flames. ` _Oh, kami . . . her mother is gonna kill me_ _. . ._ '

Mrs. Higurashi didn't answer for a long minute. Beside the doorway, InuYasha could sense the rising tension in the room. He shifted his stance, ready to spring in, grab Kagome, and run, if need be . . .

“A _youkai_ did this?”

` _Oh, hell . . . she knows! Fuck!_ ' InuYasha thought, digging his claws into the wooden door frame.

“Um, wha—? Yes, yes . . . a youkai—a _bear_ youkai. Infested. With parasites.”

“Kagome . . . So you're telling me InuYasha let a parasite-infested bear youkai close enough to you to slice your blouse _and_ bra to shreds . . . and you don't have a scratch on you?”

“Well . . . he didn't _let_ the bear that close . . . the bear swatted him out of the way . . .”

InuYasha had to remind himself a few times that he really did respect the fact that Kagome wasn't the kind who could easily lie . . . at the moment, however, he wished she were . . . His conscience poked him. ` _Keh! Get your ass in there_ _,_ _and tell her_ _mother_ _what_ you _did . . . it's all your fault anyway, being baka enough to get infected with that toxin, in the first place_ . . .'

Sure . . . if he could get his feet to move . . .

“Okay, dear,” Mrs. Higurashi finally said. “Did you launder this already?”

“What? No . . .”

Mrs. Higurashi sighed. “So . . . the bear was careful enough not to cut you at all, then? That was nice of him . . .”

“Mama?”

She shook her head and tossed the ruined blouse onto the table. “Kagome . . . you've brought home your clothes torn and bloodied . . . and this one is absolutely clean. You really can't tell me what happened?”

InuYasha flinched. He couldn't put Kagome through this. Cowering in the hallway while her mother was giving her the once-over about something he'd done . . . Embarrassing or not, InuYasha couldn't let it continue. Stomping into the kitchen, he grabbed Kagome's hand and shoved her behind his back. Crossing his arms over his chest as he glared defiantly at Mrs. Higurashi, he snorted. “I did it, okay? You really can't lie worth a damn, Kagome,” he mumbled over his shoulder.

Mrs. Higurashi's already surprised expression gave way to one of complete shock just before her own face exploded in crimson color. “I see . . .”

“Oh, kami,” Kagome groaned, letting her forehead fall against InuYasha's back.

Mrs. Higurashi opened and closed her mouth a few times, reminding InuYasha of a fish out of water. “Well . . . thank you for your honesty, InuYasha . . . I think I need to speak with my daughter. Alone.”

InuYasha narrowed his gaze and bared his fangs. “No.”

“ _InuYasha_ . . .” Kagome hissed.

“No,” he stated again.

“She's my mother!”

“And you're my ma—responsibility!”

She drew back, her face suddenly registering hurt. She dropped her gaze for a moment then pushed past him, jerking her arm away as he tried to stop her.

Out of sheer stubbornness, he stomped over to her and dragged her back to the other side of the kitchen again.

“You can let go,” she ground out. “I'm in my time, remember? In my time, you're relinquished of your _responsibility_ since there aren't any youkai to endanger me here.”

“That's not what I fucking meant!”

“I know what you meant!”

“Wench—”

“Baka!”

“Bi—”

“Okay, that's enough, you two,” Mrs. Higurashi cut in, rubbing a weary hand over her face in complete exasperation. “Why don't we all . . . sit down and talk this over.”

Kagome shot InuYasha a fulminating glare and sat down in the chair next to her mother, who sat at the head of the table. InuYasha picked up her chair and moved her to the other end of the table before planting himself in the chair between the two women.

Kagome heaved a loud sigh designed to let InuYasha know that she thought he was being entirely ridiculous. He ignored her.

“At the risk of sounding like I'm trying to pry . . . do I need to worry about . . . grandchildren?” Mrs. Higurashi asked, carefully choosing her words.

InuYasha felt his face color. “Keh!”

“No,” Kagome managed to squeak. “We forgot to shake the vial . . . after the parasite-infested bear youkai . . .”

“So there really is a bear youkai?”

“Keh! _Was_ one, till I killed him.”

“Do you have to sound so . . . bloodthirsty in front of Mama?” Kagome demanded pointedly.

“Keh! I _did_ kill him, wench!”

“Baka . . .”

“All right . . . This vial . . . the one you needed from me, InuYasha?”

Seeing no way out of answering that, InuYasha nodded once.

“So . . . the combined blood didn't work?”

“Sort of . . .” Kagome supplied. “We have to shake it every night for it to work.”

“And if you don't?”

InuYasha winced. “We have, uh . . . dreams.”

“Together?”

“ . . . Yeah,” Kagome answered.

“Okay,” Mrs. Higurashi said.

“It was my fault,” InuYasha muttered, staring down at the table with a frown. “I forgot, and . . . I didn't mean to.”

Mrs. Higurashi smiled just a little. “It seems to me it took two of you to forget,” she remarked as he gaze shifted to meet Kagome's. “I trust . . . you won't forget again?” She shook her head slowly. “Kagome . . . if you were going to do that favor for Sango and Miroku you'd best get going, don't you think?”

“Oh, uh, yeah . . . you're right.”

InuYasha turned his head to stare at Kagome. “What favor?”

“Don't forget to shake that vial, all right?”

InuYasha nodded, cheeks reddening all over again. He stood up and started out of the room after Kagome, who was already halfway up the stairs to retrieve her bag.

“InuYasha? Can I ask you something?”

He hesitated but finally nodded.

“I don't really have the right to ask this of you, but . . . I think Kagome thinks of you as one of her best friends, and since I'm not there, I'd just feel better if you'd promise me you'll listen to her? She says she's all right, about Marisaiko, and I'm sure she believes that. I still worry . . . I think she might really need you right now.”

InuYasha digested that for a moment and nodded. He hadn't really considered the idea that Kagome would still think about that, but it made sense. There had been a few times—not often, but a few—when he thought that she had something on her mind, something that made her sad. He was used to Kagome wanting to talk about her feelings, so much so that, at times he thought she'd drive him crazy. When had that changed?

Kagome tapped him on the shoulder and grabbed his arm. “Come on, InuYasha. You're the one normally telling me to hurry. Bye, Mama!”

“Bye, dear!”

InuYasha stayed silent as Kagome led the way through the shrine and outside toward the well-house. She caught his stare and smiled sheepishly. “You didn't have to come in there . . . I'd almost rather that Mama didn't know about the dreams.”

“Keh,” he snorted as he took the bag from her hands. “Come on.”

She slipped her hand into his, and together they dropped into the well.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Mrs. Higurashi:**  
>  An infested bear youkai, huh?


	35. Babysitting

 

~~ ** _Chapter 35_** ~~  
~ ** _Babysitting_** ~

 

Walking in silence in the crisp spring evening air, Kagome stopped at the edge of the forest and drew a deep breath. “InuYasha? Can you smell that?”

He stopped and cast her a questioning look. “Smell what?”

She drew another breath. “It's so fresh and clean here . . . I feel . . . freer than in my time . . .”

He shrugged. “Think so?”

“Absolutely,” she insisted as she started walking toward the burning torches that illuminated the village.

“Kagome . . .”

She stopped and swung around to face him. “Come on, pokey.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

The carefully constructed mask of contentment faltered before Kagome could manage a smile. “Yeah. I think it will help.”

He didn't look like he believed her. Gaze daring her to hide the truth in her heart, InuYasha stared at her, arms crossed, mouth set in a thin line.

She smiled and shrugged. “It's all right. I'm fine.”

Though he didn't look any more convinced than he was before, InuYasha let it drop, obviously figuring that she wasn't going to admit to having any reservations about what she chose to do. “Keh. Well, don't expect me to change diapers, because I _ain't_ doing that.”

Kagome rolled her eyes as her grin broadened. She understood what he didn't say, that he would stay with her just in case she did need him. “Thank you.”

InuYasha snorted and stomped forward once more. “Keh, I'm serious, wench. No diapers.”

“All right, no diapers,” she agreed as she grabbed his hand and dragged him forward.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“And sometimes she cries when she really doesn't want anything at all . . .” Sango said for the tenth time.

“Normally she likes it when you just walk around with her . . .” Miroku chimed in.

InuYasha stifled a frustrated growl. “Go already, will you? Hell, the pup cryin' ain't nothin' compared to you two!”

“InuYasha!” Kagome scolded as she rolled her eyes and hurried over to Sango. “They're just worried! It is the first time they've left her with someone else, so be nice!” Turning back to face Sango, Kagome smiled brightly. “She'll be fine, I promise.”

Sango grimaced. “Oh, she'll be fine. It's the two of you that I'm worried about.”

Kagome grinned and hugged her friend with one arm while balancing the still-content Marisaiko in the other. “You two need a break . . . I remember when Souta had colic, and Mama had a hard time of it.”

Ichisaru ran over to hop up on Miroku's shoulder. “Can I come, too?”

Miroku made a face. “Uh . . .”

“Perverts and exterminators only, ape-shit,” InuYasha remarked, knocking Ichisaru off Miroku's shoulder.

Shippou sighed melodramatically and shook his head. “Come on, Ichi. Let's go to Kaede's, where it's quiet.”

The two youkai darted out the door. Miroku kissed Marisaiko's head before grabbing Sango's hand. “Come on, Sango. She's in the most capable of hands.”

With one last fretful glance back, Sango let Miroku pull her out of the hut. “Come, Kirara. Kagome, if you need us, we'll be at the hot spring!”

Kagome giggled as the mat fell back into place. “They'll worry all night,” she predicted.

“Keh,” InuYasha snorted as he sank down beside the door, dragging Tetsusaiga up to wrap his arms around it.

“She's still so tiny,” Kagome mused with a gentle smile as she rubbed the baby's soft cheek with the back of her knuckle. “Were you ever this small, InuYasha?”

“Keh.”

Her smile widened when she noticed the way he was trying his best not to stare at the bundle she held. “You want to see her?” Instant alarm registered in his gaze. “I could hold her and you could just look at her.”

He thought that over then shrugged. “Whatever, wench.”

` _He just hates to admit that he is curious about her_ ,' Kagome thought as she carefully knelt before InuYasha. He leaned forward, peeking down at her, leaning his head to the side as his ears twitched at the small gurgles Marisaiko uttered.

Intercepting the knowing smile on Kagome's face, InuYasha straightened up and closed his eyes as he lifted his chin proudly. “Keh. She still looks like a beet.”

“She does not! She's gorgeous! Besides, she has hair now.”

He shrugged. “A beet with hair.”

“If you had the kotodama, you'd so be eating dirt right now, baka,” she remarked but grinned.

“Yeah . . . too bad you changed the incantation for that fucking mangy wolf.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I _could_ change it back.”

“Yeah . . . you could . . . but you won't.”

She sighed since he was right.

“Here.”

She looked up and took the vial InuYasha dangled before her face. Shaking it the requisite number of times, she let go and turned her attention back to the baby. “Who's a pretty girl? Who is she? Is she you? Yes, she is!”

“Oi! What the hell are you doing to the pup?” InuYasha growled. “Stop talking to her like she's a _baby_ or something!”

Kagome blinked slowly. “InuYasha . . . she _is_ a baby . . . and I can't help it . . .”

“Keh!”

“I'm sure your mother did it to you, too. You just don't remember.”

He didn't dignify that with a response. “Come here.”

“What?”

He reached over and turned her before drawing her back against him. “If she wakes up crying' then you'd better get some sleep while you can.”

Kagome stared at the baby in her arms and tried not to think about what it would have been like, to have a family of her own, like this . . .

As though he knew of her sudden melancholy shift in thoughts, InuYasha broke into that low rumble that never ceased to soothe her. She cradled Marisaiko against her shoulder and closed her eyes, letting the sound lull her to sleep.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Yuriko turned her head from side to side as she tugged on the ropes that bound her hands. The blindfold only covered her eyes but felt as though it were stifling the life from her. The cold, the dark, the damp clung to her skin. She didn't know where she was, she didn't even know if anyone was with her. She hadn't heard movement, hadn't sensed anyone else in such a long time. Digging her fingernails into her palms behind her back to keep herself from screaming, the girl could feel the welling panic, the beckon of a sinister madness.

The oldest daughter of a country farmer, Yuriko had just turned nineteen a few days before she'd been taken. Having given up on finding a husband so that she could stay behind and take care of her younger siblings, she'd tried to be thankful for her lot in life. Her siblings loved her, needed her. Who would take care of them if she couldn't escape? Her mother died years ago giving life to Yuriko's sister. Ever since then, Yuriko had been both sister and mother to her siblings, all six of them . . .

` _But who has taken me? What would they want?_ '

She couldn't be ransomed. Her father was too poor. Surely there was a reason . . .

Unable to stave back the sharp whimper as fear gripped her again, Yuriko gasped when a callused hand grabbed the front of her kimono and yanked her to her feet.

“Who are you? What do you want from me?”

No answer came; no breath, nothing. The sudden jerk, the violent ripping of aged fabric wrenched a scream from her. Her clothes fell away, the cold press of thin metal as another slash cut the sleeves of her kimono away, as well. Tears squeezed from the corners of her eyes only to be absorbed in the blindfold.

“Your fear is delicious.”

Yuriko gasped at the woman's smooth voice in her ear. She tried to shy away from her. The callused hand stopped her, choked her.

“What do you want from me?” Yuriko whispered again.

The woman chuckled, a husky sound in the darkness. “I want you to be reborn, my dear . . . and you shall serve me.”

“Reborn?”

Another surge of panic rippled up her spine. She screamed again as those callused hands gripped her arms and dragged her away only to leave her standing on something soft. A rustle of movement as something brushed against her skin, as something cold and moist penetrated every pore on her body. Something slimy oozed over her. She opened her mouth to scream again, and the substance gagged her.

A slow unconsciousness crept over her just as a strange numbness stilled her body.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha flattened his ears and dug his claws into the dirt floor as Kagome paced slowly, bouncing the pup in her arms as Marisaiko shrieked. ` _Kami . . . I didn't think such a tiny thing could make that much fucking noise!_ ' Well past ready to run for it, the only reason InuYasha hadn't fled the racket was because of Kagome. If the baby's crying was bothering her in the least, she had yet to show it. Calm and serene, Kagome kept talking to Marisaiko in hushed tones meant to soothe her.

Startled out of a very peaceful sleep by the ear-piercing wails from the tiny human, InuYasha had shot to his feet and had Tetsusaiga drawn before he realized what was making the ungodly ruckus. It hadn't helped when Kagome, trying to talk the baby out of her crying, said, “Look, Mari . . . silly InuYasha . . . he needs to put that sword away before he scares the baby! Yes he does!”

Throwing his arms over his ears to further block the noise, InuYasha couldn't help it when he bellowed, “For the love of kami, _make her stop!_ ”

“I'm trying,” Kagome said, the first signs of her own exasperation starting to show. “If she bothers you so much, then go sleep in Goshinboku.”

That she said it in such a reasonable tone just irritated him even more. “I can't! I promised your mother I wouldn't leave you alone with her!”

Kagome stopped pacing and stared incredulously at him, instantaneous hurt registering in her expression, in her eyes. “What?”

InuYasha winced. “She thought it'd be too much for you, that's all.”

Kagome glanced down at the still wailing baby in her arms, her voice a whisper of pain, of acquiescence. “And you agree.”

Trying to stave off Kagome's upset before it worsened, InuYasha tried to reassure her. “Keh! You're handling it better than me.” He winced as Marisaiko managed an octave that should not have been humanly possible. Stalking around the hut, himself, InuYasha tried to shake off the disorienting effects of the girl's screeching.

“I can't believe you . . . How could you . . . ?” she demanded.

“I didn't mean it like that!” InuYasha growled.

“Then how did you mean it?”

“I meant that your mother thought you weren't ready for this, and maybe—”

“Maybe what? Maybe I'll break down because I offered to watch her for one night? I won't! I thought that if anyone would believe me, it'd be you!” The hurt in her tone, the tears that choked her voice rattled through him.

“It ain't about believing! Damn it! You think you're fine, but you're not!”

“How would you know?” she challenged, her voice rising in pitch and volume as her upset grew.

“Because I know you, Kagome!” he bellowed.

Anger suddenly flashed in her gaze. InuYasha recoiled when she glared at him. “We're fine, as you can see! Why don't you go back and tell Mama that? We don't need you, so just go away!”

“ _We?_ ”

“ _My baby and me_ _!_ ”

InuYasha stopped and slowly turned to stare at Kagome. A chill crept up his spine at the look on her face. Staring down at the baby in the same way a mother animal protected her own, Kagome glanced up at him and stepped back, bringing the baby closer to her chest, her stance obviously protective. He stepped toward her, held out his hands. “Give me the pup,” he said softly, carefully.

Tears suddenly filled her eyes, a wash of emotion as she realized what she'd said. “No,” she whispered. “Don't take her.”

InuYasha shook his head as he tried to contain his own upset. His eyes were bright, sad, his voice raw, full of quiet emotion as he said, “Kagome, she's not yours. Do you know that?”

The tears spilled over. She jerked her head in a nod.

“Do you?”

“ _Yes!_ ” she shrieked as a sob escaped, as she stared at the baby through her tears. “No . . .” she whispered as she shook her head. “What have I done?”

InuYasha slowly, hesitantly stepped toward her. She didn't back away. When he pulled her against his chest, she didn't resist. He ignored the pounding in his skull and did the only thing he knew to do. He held her until she finished crying. Sobbing as though her heart was breaking, she shook with the force of her emotions. Gritting his teeth against the knowledge that there wasn't a damn thing he could do for her, InuYasha closed his eyes and tried to comfort her.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, holding Kagome, as she held Marisaiko. He'd fight for her, protect her, slay anything that threatened her. In this, though . . . there wasn't a damn thing he could do.

“Come on. She wants to move, right?”

Kagome shook her head as she sniffled. “What do you mean?”

“Just come on.”

Kagome grabbed a blanket for the baby and followed him outside. Carefully lifting her into his arms as she held onto the crying infant, InuYasha ran toward the forest. After ten minutes of running, Marisaiko was blessedly asleep, and InuYasha breathed a sigh of relief.

“You all right, Kagome?” he asked.

She didn't answer. InuYasha glanced down to see her staring at the bundle in her arms. ` _Hell no, baka, she ain't all right . . . she won't be all right for awhile_ . . .'

He altered his path and headed toward Goshinboku. Kagome didn't comment, only tightened her hold on the baby as he leapt into the tree and settled them all on a sturdy branch.

“I thought . . . I thought I was all right,” she whispered.

He covered Kagome and Marisaiko in the folds of his haori sleeves. “I don't think it's about being `all right'.”

“Then what's it about?”

He shrugged. “It's about doing something for a friend, even though you knew it would hurt.”

“I don't regret doing it, I just . . .”

He rested his chin on her shoulder as she trailed off. He could feel her heart beat through her back. “I know,” he replied, wishing that it didn't hurt her so much, too.

She was quiet for a few moments, her gaze shifting from the baby in her arms to the moon high above. “InuYasha?”

Staring at the waxing moon, himself, InuYasha sighed. “Hmm?”

She leaned away, turning to look at him until he finally noticed her rapt attention. In the darkness, her eyes were hooded in shadows, glistening pools of secrets that InuYasha didn't understand. “Maybe . . . maybe if I had another baby . . . ? My _own_ baby . . .”

InuYasha blinked as his mind blanked—completely. “What?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. It was a . . . stupid thought.”

“Kagome . . .”

“Never mind,” she said, her tone thin, overly bright.

He didn't say anything else. ` _Keh! She isn't serious . . . she's just upset, and hell, I can't blame her for that_ _. . ._ _She didn't mean it. By morning_ _she'll forget she even said it_. . .'

Still . . . something about the look in her eyes haunted him.

` _Will she forget? Will she, really?_ '

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  She was just kidding . . . right?


	36. Two Steps Back

 

~~ ** _Chapter 36_** ~~  
~ ** _Two Steps Back_** ~

 

Sango sat back and wiped her brow with the back of her hand. Glancing over at Marisaiko on Kagome's lap, she smiled. “So InuYasha calmed her by running through the forest with her?”

Kagome nodded and grinned. “She was fine the rest of the night.”

“I'm glad she wasn't a burden.”

“How could she be?”

Sango shrugged. “She's can't be, can she?”

Kagome shook her head. She didn't add that they'd spent the rest of the night in Goshinboku. Not for the first time, she wondered if Marisaiko somehow remembered being up there, or sensed it somehow . . .

Sango looked like she wanted to say something but wasn't sure how to bring it up. Kagome contented herself with staring happily at the baby in her arms. The youkai exterminator smiled. “Kagome . . . you don't know how much I appreciate your taking care of her last night. We really needed the break, and . . . to be honest, I was worried about you.”

Smiling despite the memory of what she'd said in the night, Kagome wanted to reassure Sango. “You mean, because I carried her for you?”

Sango nodded. “I know you never said . . . I know it had to be hard for you, to give her to us. I wish there were something I could do to show you how much it means to us . . . But there really isn't, and I . . . I'm ashamed to say it, but the night you gave birth to her, I . . . I felt a little jealous.”

“Sango . . .”

Sango shook her head. “No, I . . . I have to tell you this, because it's been bothering me. I wanted to give Miroku a child, and watching you give life to Marisaiko made me realize that I never will be able to do that. At the same time, what you did . . . it was so beautiful, and . . . and I want you to be a huge part of Marisaiko's life, too.”

Kagome blinked quickly, swallowing the rising lump that threatened to choke her. “I want to be.”

Sango smiled encouragingly. “I know it isn't easy for you. You carried her and loved her . . . and I don't know how to express how much it means to me . . . how much _you_ mean to us . . .”

Kagome forced a smile. “Just be good parents.”

Sango blinked as tears surfaced. “What you did, though . . . there aren't many who would . . . I don't know if I could.”

Unable to stand the quiet praise that her friend was lavishing on her with, Kagome shook her head slowly. “I'm not a saint.”

“No . . . but you're a true friend.”

“Seeing how happy you and Miroku are is worth it, to me.”

Sango nodded. Marisaiko gurgled happily. Kagome smiled but her smile was touched by a sadness that she couldn't hide. “InuYasha and Miroku should be back soon, right?” she asked to change the subject.

Sango had resumed her weeding. Glancing up, she let the shovel drop from her fingers and turned her attention more fully on her friend. “I think so, unless they run into more trouble . . .” Trailing off, Sango smiled gently. “You miss him when he's gone, don't you?”

Kagome shrugged but couldn't stop the color that dusted her cheeks. “Yeah . . . I guess . . .”

“Miroku and I were noticing . . . you two have grown much closer, haven't you?”

“Sometimes,” Kagome agreed. “Maybe . . .” She stared at Marisaiko's downy head. “I can't wait to start my own family . . .”

Sango laughed. “I know what you mean . . . whenever I saw women with their babies, I thought about how much I wanted one, too . . .”

Kagome's smile was a little strained. “Yeah . . .”

Sango's grin turned mischievous. “So . . . thinking about starting this family with anyone I might know?”

Blushing, Kagome shook her head. “I don't know . . . maybe.”

Sango went back to her weeding as Kagome stared thoughtfully at the baby in her arms.

She wasn't sure why the idea of having a baby of her own had occurred to her. Maybe it was just a natural thought after being around Marisaiko. All Kagome knew was that the idea had plagued her the entire night and through the day.

The trouble was, InuYasha had looked pretty well freaked out when she'd mentioned it in the night. Then again, maybe it was because they'd had so much trouble calming Marisaiko enough for her to sleep . . .

Whatever the reason, Kagome wasn't sure how to approach the subject again. If it weren't for the gnawing ache in the center of her chest that erupted when she thought about this emptiness, she would try harder to talk herself out of it, but the emptiness hurt so badly that it made her want to scream. It was a feeling that she feared wouldn't ever go away.

` _It's a stupid idea, Kagome, and you know it. You can't have a baby out of the blue. You know you don't want that, and InuYasha . . . you have no idea what he wants, do you?_ '

Thing was, there wasn't anyone else she wanted to have a baby with. It was InuYasha or no one, and that was enough to make her sigh.

She made a face. Sometimes that voice in her mind was annoying, and this was one of those times . . .

Kagome sighed as she glanced at her watch. “I've got to go. I've got a doctor appointment . . .”

Sango frowned and took the baby. “Is everything okay?”

She shrugged. “Yeah . . . just a postnatal checkup . . .”

“Oh . . . will you be back later?”

Kagome nodded as she grabbed her backpack. “Yes. See you!”

She waved over her shoulder as she jogged toward the well. She was running late. Dreading this checkup, Kagome had considered asking her mother to cancel it. In the end, she knew that there was no way her mother would let her get away with that. She didn't dread the checkup nearly as much as she dreaded the questions. She'd told the doctor on her first visit that she was going to give the child up for adoption since she'd already been told she was too young to be a surrogate. Still . . .

She made a face as she stared into the empty well. Why did she feel like she'd rather be getting ready for her own funeral?

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“So how's that talisman working for you?”

InuYasha paused mid-step to glower back at Miroku. “Just fine, pervert . . . why?”

Miroku held his hands up in a placating gesture. “No reason . . . you just seem . . . preoccupied, that's all.”

InuYasha frowned. “Someone's pup kept me up all night.”

“Ahh, blame it on the sweet, innocent child . . .”

“I blame it on you.”

Miroku laughed. “Yes, well, all right . . .”

InuYasha could tell there was something else on the monk's mind. He stubbornly refused to ask.

Miroku sighed, figuring that InuYasha wasn't going to talk without a bit of prodding. “So . . . how are you and Kagome getting along?”

“Fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Keh.”

“Uh oh . . . the sound of a disgruntled hanyou . . . so tell me, my friend, what's bothering you?”

“Not a damn thing.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“. . . You're sure?”

“Stop chewing on whatever it is you're trying to get at and just say it, Miroku!” InuYasha bellowed.

Miroku relented. “It's just that Sango and I have been a little worried about Kagome . . . and you . . .”

“Keh! Why me?”

Miroku stopped and stared up at the sky with one hand shielding his eyes from the midday sun. “We just . . . hoped . . . you were being . . . supportive to her since she's been a little distant from us.”

“Keh!” InuYasha snorted as he started walking again, not bothering to see if Miroku was following or not. “What do you expect? You took her pup, monk.”

Miroku fell in beside InuYasha, his tone measured, controlled, as though he were afraid of whatever answer he was looking for. “ . . . Is that how she feels?”

InuYasha shrugged. “She ain't said as much, no . . .”

“Then what has she said?”

` _Maybe . . . maybe if I had another baby . . . ? My_ own _baby_ _. . ._ '

Shaking his head, InuYasha shoved that thought aside. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Keh. Yes, monk, nothing.”

Miroku sighed and shook his head. “'Nothing' doesn't normally result in the nice shade of `Hanyou-in-Hell'-red you're currently wearing.”

“Shut up.”

“But you'd feel better if you talk about it,” Miroku pressed.

“I don't need to talk about it,” InuYasha snarled. “It was a stupid idea, and she said so, too, so don't worry about it.”

“It can't have been that stupid of an idea if it came from Kagome, and if it was important enough for her to mention.”

“Wanna bet?”

“InuYasha—”

“No!”

“What? Did she suggest running away together? Migrating to the mainland? Why are you so upset about this?”

“Never fucking mind!”

“What? It can't be that bad . . . What'd she do? Ask you to start a family?”

Miroku's laughter died at the stunned look that surfaced on InuYasha's face followed closely by the even deeper shade of crimson that shot to the fore. “Oh . . . I see . . . and you don't like this idea, I take it?”

“Well, gee, I dunno . . . depends on who she was talking about, wouldn't it?”

“What?”

InuYasha shrugged and snorted. “She didn't specify who she wanted to father a pup, lecher, if you must know. She just said—Never mind!”

Miroku blinked quickly and shook his head. “I don't know, InuYasha . . . I would guess, knowing her, that there's only one man she'd want for that job . . .”

“Yeah . . . and I'll fucking kill that bastard, too.”

“What bastard?”

“That . . . that . . . that Houjou thing of hers.”

“Houjou thing?” Miroku echoed with a confused frown. “What's that?”

InuYasha cracked his knuckles. “Keh! He follows her around like a fucking pup . . . always being all _nice_ and . . . if she'd let me I'd shred him.” Looking around for something— _anything_ —on which to vent his frustration, InuYasha stopped growling when Miroku smacked him upside the head with the blunt end of his staff. “What the fuck was that for?”

“Beating some sense into your fat head, my friend. Thank me later. You ought to know by now that Kagome isn't interested in anyone . . . other than you . . . kami knows why . . .”

InuYasha swung his head around to glare at Miroku. “That ain't right . . .”

“How do you know?”

“Well, I . . . because she . . . `cause it just _ain't!_ ”

Miroku heaved a sigh. “Your powers of reasoning amaze me yet again. InuYasha, don't be dense. She comes back time and again, not to spend time with this Houjou person, but to spend time with you . . . does that tell you anything?”

“Keh! Yeah . . . it tells me you and Sango need to get out more.”

“There are worse things, InuYasha, than to marry a pretty girl and start a family.”

“Yeah . . . there's being a half-breed, and passing that along to my pups. No fucking thanks.”

Shaking his head and contemplating smacking InuYasha upside the head again, Miroku rolled his eyes and sucked in his cheeks as he deliberated a way to say his peace without the hanyou turning on him. “InuYasha, in the time you've known Kagome, has she ever said even once that you were less than what you are because of that? Has she ever once acted as though you being hanyou bothered her?”

InuYasha frowned, stuffing his arms up his sleeves as he crossed them over his chest and kept walking. “No.”

“Doesn't that say something about her?”

“That ain't the point, Miroku. I can't . . . she deserves better than that.”

Miroku walked in silence a few moments. “Perhaps . . . then again, perhaps you ought to ask her.”

InuYasha digested that for a moment then shrugged. “It don't matter, anyway. I've got to find this youkai first, and she knows that.”

“And if you can't find her?”

InuYasha snorted. “I'll find her.”

“InuYasha . . . something else.”

InuYasha sighed. “What now?”

Miroku's gaze was serious for once. He stared at InuYasha like he was trying to find a good way to say whatever it was he was thinking. “You know . . . if you don't want her . . . if you _really_ don't want her . . . I think you owe it to her to let her know that, too, because she's waiting for you.”

InuYasha shook his head and stomped away, leaving Miroku to catch up or lag behind. That was the trouble, wasn't it? As much as he hated the idea of condemning her to share his life, the idea of her being with someone else . . . He growled. That was something that he couldn't even consider.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha hopped out of the well and stomped up the steps leading out of the well-house only to be greeted by the sounds of soft sobbing, the salt of tears filling his nose with the pungent tang, the scent of Kagome underlying that. Tamping down the sudden rage that shot through him—the anger that she would be weeping for any reason, InuYasha followed his ears and spotted her, her pale yellow dress so at odds with the sound of her upset.

“Kagome . . . what's wrong?” he asked as he squatted beside her.

She didn't act like she heard him. Face buried in her raised knees with her arms wrapped around her legs, her shoulders shook as she cried. Gently, hesitantly, he reached out and touched her arm. “Kagome?”

She didn't answer. Lifting her tear-stained face, she threw herself against his chest, into his arms. Too miserable to try to speak, Kagome sobbed as InuYasha tried to comfort her.

Her face hot, sweaty as she struggled to stop crying, the sound of her sorrow wrenched him somewhere deep inside.

Gradually she wound down to miserable sniffles, occasional gasps as she tried to breathe. “Going to tell me why you're crying yet?” he finally asked.

She shook her head and sat back, wiping her eyes with her fingertips as she scowled at the lingering moisture. “It's nothing,” she told him, unable to meet his gaze. “It's stupid . . . it's my own fault . . .”

“What is?”

She sniffled and resumed her pose, arms wrapped around her legs, chin on her knees. “I went to the doctor, is all . . . she said I should see a psychiatrist.”

He frowned. “What's a `psychiatrist'?”

“They're specialists . . . they try to help you if they think you need it . . .” She sighed at the confusion still evident in his expression. “They're mind doctors. They try to fix things that are messed up in your thoughts.”

InuYasha snorted. “How can someone fix something like that?”

Kagome sighed. “That's just it. There's nothing wrong with my thoughts . . . but Mama said . . .” her eyes filled with tears again. InuYasha could smell them. “Mama said . . . maybe I should see one . . .”

“You don't want to?”

She shook her head then shrugged. “No . . . I don't know . . . I chose this, right? No one made me do it, and . . . I just want . . . I want this emptiness to go away.”

He stared at her. Turning her face and resting her cheek on her knees, she gazed over her shoulder at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

“It will, right?”

InuYasha wasn't sure how to answer that. She so desperately wanted his reassurance. He could tell from the expression on her face, and as much as he wanted to do that, he just didn't know. “Keh. You're asking the wrong person, wench.”

She nodded. “Maybe I am.” She sighed. He flattened his ears at the sadness in her aura. He'd noticed from time to time before, that Kagome's aura had the ability to touch his youki, and while he didn't fully understand what it meant, at times like this it made his shortcomings seem that much worse. “I'm sorry . . . I don't have the right to lay all this on you.”

“I'll live,” he mumbled, feeling guilty for not being able to help her when she really needed him. “You feeling any better?”

The smile she attempted was a dismal failure and wholly for his benefit alone. “Sure.”

Grasping at something—anything—that might make her a little happier, InuYasha flattened his ears and asked, “Do you . . . uh . . . want to stay here tonight?”

She seemed surprised by his question. “Are you sure?”

He turned his gaze away before she could see how her upset was affecting him. “Keh. I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't sure, would I?”

She sighed. He had the distinct feeling that she had been hoping for some other kind of answer from him. “No . . . I guess not . . .”

She started to get up.

“Kagome?” he called quickly, needing to say something because her sadness hurt him, too.

“Yes?”

He stood up and winced as he tried to figure out how to explain his feelings. “Don't be sad. I . . . I hate it when you're sad.”

She finally smiled. It was thin and weak but her eyes shined as her lips trembled. “I hate it when you're sad, too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  … A head doctor …?


	37. What a Girl Wants

 

~~ ** _Chapter 37_** ~~  
~ ** _What a Girl Wants_** ~

 

Kagome chewed on her fingernail as she narrowed her eyes at the hanyou. Sprawled out on her bed lying on his side, InuYasha drummed his claws impatiently as his other hand hung limply holding his cards. “Come on, wench. Either make a bet or show your cards.”

“I'm trying to make up my mind,” she informed him primly. “Now stop heckling me.”

“Heckling? Keh! Do you want more cards or not?”

Kagome raised her cards again and pondered. ` _I don't have a thing_ _. . ._ _Ugh! He'll win---again----then he'll rub my nose in it_ . . .'

With a melodramatic sigh, Kagome tossed her cards down. “I fold. Didn't have a thing. Figures. I hate this game.”

He snorted. “You chose it, not me.”

“Yeah,” she retorted as she gathered the cards and straightened the stack. “I don't know why you put up such a fuss about playing. You win all the time.”

“I told you, wench, you can't win because you can't lie. I can always tell from your face if you've got a decent hand or not.”

She made a face. “That's entirely unethical,” she pointed out.

“Unethical?”

“It's unfair.”

“Keh! It's fair.”

She reached for his cards. He pulled them back. She reached again, and he pulled back again. “Give me your cards so I can put them up,” she told him.

“Keep your hands to yourself, grabby.”

“Give me the cards, dog-boy!”

“Come and get `em, wench.”

“Ohh . . . !”

Kagome lunged at him as he rolled onto his back. Sprawled over him, she waved her hand toward the cards that were still just out of reach. “What's the matter, Kagome? Arms not long enough?”

“Baka, my arms are fine . . . stop moving your hand.”

He chuckled. “Make me.”

“You're _so_ asking for it, InuYasha . . .”

“Asking for what? Oops! Clumsy! Are you trying to fall on your head?” he exclaimed as she nearly toppled off the end of the bed. Catching her before she slipped, he pulled her back and proceeded to hold the cards away again. Slowly edging them toward her only to jerk them away when she reached for them, InuYasha looked a little too proud of himself when he caught her expression: a mix of laughter and consternation.

She leaned up, one hand planted in the center of his chest as she reached to snag the cards and barely missed, she laughed outright when she finally used both hands: one to catch his arm and hold it while she tugged the cards out of his hand with the other. “Ha! There!”

He sat up and grabbed one of the pocky sticks that they'd been using as poker chips. Some of them had been smashed under Kagome's knees. Most were still edible, though . . . “I let you have them.”

She giggled. “You did not.”

A soft knock on the door interrupted his retort as Mrs. Higurashi stepped inside with a tray of cookies and two glasses of milk. “Ready for a snack?” she asked pleasantly.

“Thanks, Mama,” Kagome said as she scooted off the bed to grab the tray. “I'll bring it back down later.”

Mrs. Higurashi nodded and left. InuYasha peeked at the cookies. “What are those?”

“Cookies. Have one.”

He lifted one and slowly sniffed it before biting into it. “Not bad,” he decided as he ate the rest of the cookie in one bite.

She held out a glass of milk. He made a face. “Milk's for pups,” he grumbled just before he shoved another cookie into his mouth.

She rolled her eyes more at the lack of manners than from his statement. “It isn't. Milk's very good for you, and it's great with cookies.”

He took the glass grudgingly.

Ten minutes later, all the cookies except one had been devoured. InuYasha snatched the last one before Kagome could grab it. She gasped and reached for it. “Share, you pig!”

“Nope . . . It's an eat-what-you-kill world, Kagome, and you were too slow.”

“You didn't kill the cookie, now share!”

“Keh!”

“All right, fine!” she proclaimed as she dove for his arm.

Kagome caught his hand and held on while she bit into the cookie---and InuYasha's finger. “Oi, wench! Leave some finger, will you?”

Giggling while chewing, she let go of his hand and sat back, completely satisfied that he'd learned a lesson about taking the last cookie.

InuYasha snorted. “Your half was bigger,” he pointed out after stuffing the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

“On't awk ith youah mouf fuwah,” she told him.

“You're one to talk,” he shot back.

She managed to swallow before she choked as she giggled again. “Do as I say, not as I do?”

“Hypocrite,” InuYasha retorted, his voice muffled by the rapidly emptying milk glass.

She took his glass and gathered up the tray and the broken bits of pocky. “I'll be back. Stay out of trouble while I'm gone, okay?”

InuYasha wrinkled his nose.

She was smiling as she headed downstairs with the tray to wash out the glasses and put things away.

InuYasha was being extra nice to her, and even though she had a feeling that it was because he had found her crying, she couldn't complain. She liked it when he let his guard down and had fun. It didn't happen nearly often enough, so when it did, she cherished it.

She made quick work of putting things to rights then hurried off to brush her teeth, wondering briefly how long InuYasha's current mood would last.

“Oh, Kagome . . . I made an appointment for you to see Dr. Yoshima,” Mrs. Higurashi said as she stepped into the bathroom with an armload of towels.

Kagome wiped her mouth on a fluffy towel as her smile faded. “You what?”

“I made an appointment for you to see Dr. Yoshima,” she said again.

“I don't need to see her,” Kagome maintained, carefully keeping her tone pleasant. “I'm fine.”

Mrs. Higurashi took her time putting the towels away. “Of course you are, dear. It can't hurt to talk to her, can it?”

“I don't want to talk to her. I don't need to.”

With a sigh, Mrs. Higurashi turned back to stare at Kagome. Her concern was evident in her gaze, and Kagome lifted her chin defiantly. “I'm worried about you. I know you feel that you chose this, and that's true . . . but that doesn't mean you can't have trouble dealing with it, either.”

“And what am I supposed to say to her, Mama? I can't even tell the doctor the truth, that I wanted to have the baby for Sango and Miroku. I can't tell any of them that. I'm sorry. I'm not going.”

“Kagome, I don't ask you for much. I'm asking you now, though. I'd like you to see this psychiatrist.”

Kagome hurried out of the bathroom without answering. She wasn't sure if her anger was caused by the feelings that her mother had somehow betrayed her, but a deep-seeded aching pang ripped through her as she ran up the stairs. The idea that her mother thought she needed psychological help hurt. By the time she burst into her bedroom, she was fighting back tears and trying to keep herself from sobbing.

InuYasha sat up quickly, ears twitching as he eyed her cautiously. “Kagome? What's wrong?”

“I want to go back,” she managed as she grabbed her bag and started piling things into it. “Now.”

Though he looked confused, InuYasha didn't argue with her. No sooner did she have her bag closed than he hefted it off the bed and slung it over his shoulder.

Kagome's mom was heading toward the kitchen when InuYasha led the way down the stairs with Kagome close behind. “Bye, Mama! I'm going back now,” Kagome called in a falsely bright tone.

Mrs. Higurashi stopped and stared at her daughter. “Kagome . . . will you think about what I said?”

Kagome paused as InuYasha stepped outside. “No, I won't. I'm sorry.”

Before her mother had a chance to argue with her, Kagome pulled the door closed behind them and set off at a brisk stride toward the well-house.

“You gonna tell me what that was all about?” InuYasha asked finally.

Kagome sighed. “I just want to go back.”

“Wait.”

Kagome stopped and stared at the ground. “She thinks I need to see the psychiatrist. She made an appointment for me.”

“I know you said they try to fix your thoughts?”

She nodded as she lifted her gaze to his face. He was frowning at some point over her head, obviously thinking about what it was she had told him.

She gasped. “You . . . you think I should go, too, don't you?”

He didn't answer right away. He didn't have to. He couldn't meet her gaze, and the way his ears drooped . . . just like when she caught him running off to see Kikyou before.

Kagome bit off a sob as she slowly backed away from him. “I thought you . . . _I'm not crazy!_ ”

InuYasha started to reach for her. Kagome backed up a step more before turning on her heel and dashing into the well-house. The eruption of soft light flashed as the time slip closed around her.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Damn it,” InuYasha growled as he stared into the empty well. ` _I didn't mean . . . I don't think she's crazy_ . . .'

Mrs. Higurashi's shadow fell over him, and he looked back at her. “Oh, InuYasha . . . where's Kagome?”

InuYasha sighed and jerked his head toward the well. “She already went back.”

“Without you?”

“I told her . . . I thought maybe she should see the head doctor.”

She looked surprised by his answer, and she winced slightly. “Oh . . . I see . . . and she didn't like that.”

“Keh.”

She seemed preoccupied, as though something else were on her mind. Finally she sighed. “InuYasha . . . can I ask you something?”

Unsure if he wanted to hear anything else since all of Mrs. Higurashi's ideas lately seemed to have blown up in his face, InuYasha was tempted to hop into the well before she could ask her question. Against his better judgment, he nodded tersely.

“How did babysitting go?”

He winced. That was the question he was afraid she'd ask. Trying to shove aside the feeling that he was somehow betraying her, InuYasha admitted, “She . . . uh . . . slipped and called the pup hers.”

“Oh . . . that's not good . . .”

InuYasha shrugged. Her other words came back to him again, but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to tell her mother what she'd said then. ` _Maybe . . . maybe if I had another baby . . . ? My_ own _baby_ . . .'

“The doctor can help her.” Mrs. Higurashi stared at the night sky, a sadness in her expression that InuYasha recognized. He'd seen the same look on his mother's face, when he'd asked her what a half-breed was . . . “And you told her that you thought she ought to go, too.”

InuYasha nodded. “Yeah.”

Mrs. Higurashi smiled apologetically. “I'm sure she didn't like hearing that but I must say, I think that it would do her good to be able to talk about her feelings.” She stared at InuYasha, a thoughtful frown furrowing her brows. “This is hard on you, too, isn't it?”

InuYasha shrugged and tried to act like he didn't much care. “I just want her to be happy again.”

“I do, too.”

He climbed onto the side of the well and shook his head. “I gotta go. She has a habit of getting into trouble when I'm not there.”

Mrs. Higurashi smiled. “I never worry about her when she's there. I know you take care of her, InuYasha. Thank you.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. Whatever,” and he dropped into the well.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome winced as she scraped her knee against the rough bark of Goshinboku. She'd come here to stare at Sango's garden in the moonlight but suddenly wanted to be in the God Tree. ` _It's easier with InuYasha_ . . .' she thought as she managed to tug herself onto the lowest branch.

It still bothered her, how quick he was to take her mother's side. Neither of them understood, not really . . .

Managing to reach the next branch without much incident, Kagome sat back with a satisfied sigh at her own accomplishment.

` _I don't regret what I did . . . it isn't that, at all_ _. . ._ _It's just this hollow feeling in my heart . . . like a piece of me is missing_ . . .'

Gazing up at the nearly full moon with a frown as the spring breeze rippled through her hair, Kagome felt a single tear slip from her eye to course down her cheek. ` _Maybe, if I had a baby of my own . . ._ _would I_ _stop feeling so empty . . . ?_ '

She shook her head and wiped the tear off her cheek. That wasn't really an answer, was it? Surely she couldn't really think that replacing one child---a child she knew would never be hers---with another . . . would that really solve anything?

` _But it would, because then I wouldn't think about what I don't have, right? Because I'd be concentrating on what I did have, instead_ . . .'

“Oi, wench. That's my spot.” Kagome held on as InuYasha hopped up beside her. “Don't be mad anymore, okay?”

She stared at his profile in the evening's deepening shadows. “I wasn't mad, InuYasha . . . I was . . . I don't know, but I wasn't mad.” Twisting her fingers together in a knot, she tried to find a way to say why she felt like she did. “I'm not crazy,” she said quietly. “I'm dealing with it . . . I'm dealing with . . . everything.”

The quick glance he shot her told her plainly that he didn't think she was dealing with anything, at all. He didn't remark on it, though.

“InuYasha?”

“Hmm?”

“I'm sorry I got so mad at you. I'm sorry I yelled at you . . .”

“Keh. Forget about it.”

She watched the way he folded his arms together, the slight scowl that drew his eyebrows down. “I was thinking . . .”

He took off his haori and draped it over her even though she wasn't really cold. She accepted his gesture and held it closed with one hand.

“Have you ever wanted a family?”

She could feel his eyes on her; she could feel his body tense as though he were fighting to keep himself from bolting for her sake. “Ain't thought about it.”

She went on, ignoring the harshness in his tone. “Did you ever want one with . . . Kikyou?”

“Can we talk about something else?”

“I think . . . if I had a baby . . . I think that'd make me happy.”

He didn't answer right away. She snuck a peek at him only to find him staring down at the ground below. “You think too much, wench.” He shook his head and dug the vial out of his shirt. “Shake it.”

Kagome did and stifled a sigh. He didn't say anything else as he sat beside her. Sharing the silence, they stared at the moon, each lost in their own thoughts, a world away from one another.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  …She didn't forget …


	38. Another Perspective

 

~~ ** _Chapter 38_** ~~  
~ ** _Another Perspective_** ~

 

InuYasha sat on the roof peeking over the edge as Sango sat in the shade of the hut with Marisaiko in her arms. It still baffled him, how such a tiny human could make such an unearthly racket with her crying. At the moment, though, the pup seemed content to be held and cuddled, and Sango seemed happy to oblige her.

“InuYasha, why didn't you go with Kagome to gather the herbs for Kaede?”

InuYasha wrinkled his nose. “She's fine . . . it ain't that far away, and she took Kirara and Miroku.”

“That's true . . . but you still didn't answer my question.”

He snorted and hopped off the roof. “Keh.”

Sango shook her head, accustomed to InuYasha's stubborn temperament. “Is Kagome all right?” she asked instead.

“What do you mean?”

Sango shrugged and adjusted Marisaiko in her arms. “She just seems . . . distant . . . Sometimes, when I look at her, she seems so sad.”

InuYasha wrapped his arms around Tetsusaiga. “Yeah.”

“I have a confession.”

InuYasha's golden eyes snapped up to meet Sango's. The exterminator looked distinctly uncomfortable, which should have been warning enough.

“I asked Miroku to go with Kagome today. He and I thought maybe you'd talk to me.”

“About what?” he asked cautiously.

“About . . . Kagome's . . . request . . .”

“Reque—” InuYasha cut himself off as realization as to just what request that might be washed over him. Fighting back embarrassed color as he tried to control his rising irritation, InuYasha started to get up.

“Wait . . . he didn't tell me to make fun or anything. He's concerned, as am I.”

InuYasha paused, glowering at Sango, daring her to lie. He sat back down slowly though he raised his chin and squared his shoulders, body language telling her that he would leave if she teased him, even once.

Sango's smile was compassionate, gentle. “After I miscarried the first few times, I wanted to try again right away. I think I felt like I just wanted a baby— _any_ baby—to hold, to call my own. I came to realize that I was pushing too hard. I was looking for something to fill this great, big emptiness inside my heart, and even though it's not the same, I wonder if maybe Kagome's feelings have something to do with that. Not that she wouldn't be a great mother . . . I just . . . I worry that she wants it for the wrong reasons. Do you understand what I'm saying?”

InuYasha thought it over and nodded. The emptiness he'd felt inside himself when his mother died . . . he'd tried for awhile to fill that, too. He had tried a few times, to find a new family to belong with. He'd even followed Sesshoumaru for a time. Trouble was, he also knew what it was like to not have that void filled. And Kagome? Could he stand to see her feel that way? For how long? Could he stand to watch her turn into someone cynical and afraid to let anyone near? Someone like . . . himself?

Sango interrupted his thoughts with a soft sigh. “I'd tell her this, myself, if I thought she'd listen to me . . . or if I thought I had the right to say it. I know she doesn't regret giving us Marisaiko. I just really wish she didn't have to hurt.”

InuYasha shook his head. “So . . . so what are you saying? Y-y-y-you think I should just . . . ?”

Sango laughed and waved a hand to stop him. “Oh, no! No . . . no . . . but maybe you . . . could give her something else to fill that place in her heart . . . ? Someone _else_ for her to love and cherish?”

“And just where would I find this . . . _someone_ _?_ ” His gaze narrowed suspiciously. “You'd damn well better not be talking about that Houjou thing of hers, or that fucking wolf, Sango, because I'll—”

Sango shook her head. “Don't be a baka, InuYasha.”

“I don't think I like where you're goin' with this.”

She giggled. “You, baka . . . who else? And don't try to tell me you don't feel the same way about her as she does about you, because Miroku also told me about those dreams you were having, too.”

A violent explosion of red flamed under his skin. InuYasha shot off the ground and started to stomp away. “Just think about it, InuYasha!” Sango called after him.

InuYasha answer floated back to her on the breeze. “ _Keh!_ ”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Um . . . Kagome . . . why didn't you ask InuYasha to come along with you?”

Kagome faltered in her herb gathering and forced a bright smile. “Oh, he was busy . . . and I wanted you to come along.”

“I see . . . then I'm glad you thought so highly of me.”

Setting the basket of herbs aside as she sat back and wiped her brow with the back of her hand, Kagome shot the monk a grin. “Of course.”

Miroku sat down in the fresh green grass and leaned his staff against a boulder. “So you and InuYasha had no luck in your search for the butterfly youkai?”

Kagome shook her head and made a face. “Nope. Nothing.”

“Any trouble while you were gone?”

“Not really . . . we got attacked a couple of times, but nothing big.”

“That's good . . .”

Kagome frowned and sat back on her heels. “All right, Miroku. I can tell you've got something on your mind. Spill it.”

Miroku leaned back, stared up at the clouds. “Oh . . . nothing . . . just something interesting InuYasha said yesterday . . .”

“Oh?”

“Yes . . . he said you'd mentioned . . . having a baby of your own.”

“He . . . he did?” Kagome asked, praying that her cheeks weren't nearly as red as she thought they were.

“Not that I think that's such a bad idea,” Miroku went on, still gazing at the sky.

“But?” Kagome prompted when Miroku stopped.

“But . . . Kagome . . . wouldn't you rather have the husband, first?”

She could feel her cheeks growing redder by the second and shrugged. “Sure . . . Anyway, it was just a thought,” she lied. ` _A thought I can't get rid of_ . . .'

“He's concerned about you. I think he cares a lot more than he's willing to admit,” Miroku said softly, gently. “You know that, right?”

Tucking her arms around her raised knees, Kagome shrugged again. “I don't know what I know anymore,” she confessed. “He doesn't make sense to me . . . One minute, he's coming into my dreams, and the next, he's . . . Forget I said that . . .”

“Come again? What do you mean? You dream about him?”

Kagome shook her head. “Sort of . . . more like we had the same dream, I guess . . . I think it was because we were both tired and forgot to shake the vial . . .”

“I see.”

Kagome's blush darkened, wondering too late if she should have told Miroku all that.

“This is a wonderful thing, you know.”

Kagome did a double take at the monk. “How do you figure?”

“Because of the toxin. . . he dreams about you because you're the one he desires. Because of the blood bond, you're forced to have dreams of the one you . . . love, and it happens to be him . . . Yes, a very good thing, indeed.”

“Miroku—”

The ex-monk grinned. “If you find this butterfly youkai, see if you can't get your hands on some of that powder, will you? I'd love to share some dreams with Sango . . .”

“Ugh!” Kagome groaned, letting her face fall against her raised knees. “Will you be serious?”

“All right, sorry,” Miroku apologized. “If you want my opinion, I think InuYasha is a bit too serious for his own good on it. I mean, they're just dreams, right? No harm done.”

Kagome clamped her mouth closed. There was no way she was going to disabuse Miroku of that idea . . .

Excusing herself to continue gathering the herbs Kaede asked for, Kagome could only hope that the Grand Inquisition was over.

The main problem was that she couldn't forget about the idea of having another baby. It just kept spinning around her head, over and over.

Miroku was right, though. Kagome did want to have a family, and if she were complete honest with herself, she wanted the husband first. She sighed. That was the entire trouble. The one man she wanted was the one who, half the time, acted like he forgot she existed . . .

` _Okay, so that's not entirely true . . . you're just mad because he hasn't kissed you since that night, and you want him to_ . . .'

Kagome wrinkled her nose and stooped down to gather more herbs.

` _Maybe you should just tell InuYasha what you want instead of beating around the bush with it_ . . .'

Unfortunately, she had a feeling that he wouldn't answer her about that, either.

A shadow fell over her, and Kagome looked up in surprise. A wizened old woman stood over her, smiling at her in a friendly sort of way. “Who are you, child? What are you doing in my field?”

Kagome sat back and bowed her head respectfully. The woman's old robes smelled dusty and dry. A wisp of her wiry gray hair stood up straight in the breeze. “I'm Kagome . . . I didn't know anyone owned this meadow,” she explained.

“Pay no heed, pay no heed . . . No one does to this old woman . . .”

“I'm sorry,” Kagome said again as she stood up. Kagome wasn't tall, herself, but she towered over the old woman. “I was gathering herbs for our village miko, Kaede.”

“Kaede? Sister of Kikyou?”

“Yes, that's her. Do you know her?”

“I've heard of her . . . when one gets to be as old as I am, there aren't many one doesn't know . . .”

“What's your name?”

The old woman wheezed out a laugh. “My name? It's been too long since anyone's asked my name. Around here, they call me Old Seer.”

“You're a seer?”

Nodding slowly, the old woman sank down on a flat boulder, leaning heavily on the gnarled walking stick she carried. “Ah, yes . . . I've seen many things in the passing of time. I've seen many battles fought. I've seen lives begin and end. The world is an unkind place, child. There is much to learn and to experience.”

Kagome nodded. “I understand.”

Old Seer patted Kagome's hand and smiled. “Shall I see for you?”

Kagome shook her head. “Oh, I don't want to inconvenience you.”

“There is no such thing as an inconvenience, child. There is only time, and how we choose to spend it.” Leaning her walking stick against her knees, the woman raised her hands and traced an outline around Kagome's sides in the air. “A kind aura . . . a miko's aura . . . you're a miko?”

“Well, not exactly,” Kagome answered. “I mean, I've been told that I'm a reincarnation, but I've not been trained.”

“Powerful, you are . . . yet your aura is sad, melancholy . . . you've given away a part of yourself, and you wish to have it back.”

Kagome knelt down and shook her head. “No . . . not like that.”

The old woman nodded as though she understood. “This part of you, there is a way to reclaim it, however it is not in the way you seek . . . to reclaim a lost heart, child, takes courage and patience and love. There is one who cherishes you, and this one holds the answer. Do you understand what I tell you, Kagome?”

“Yes, but . . . I don't know if . . .”

The old woman's faded eyes sharpened as she stared at Kagome. “No. You must listen to me. What you want would please you for a time. It also has the power to destroy that which you hope for in your heart. You know this. You must choose your path. Would you cast aside the one who brings you peace?”

“ . . . No,” Kagome whispered as she stared at her clasped hands.

“Fear not, child. You shall have that which you desire but do not rush to find it.”

Kagome nodded and started to rise. “Thank you.”

The old woman gasped and reached out to grab Kagome's hand. “You . . . you possess something tainted . . . what is it?”

Kagome glanced down. The old woman was pointing at Kagome's chest. “I don't have anything,” she said quickly as she started to pull her hand away.

Old Seer pushed herself up with her cane. “You do . . . it is vile, accursed . . . unclean . . .”

Kagome stumbled back as the woman tottered toward her.

“Get away from this child, demons! Plague her no more!”

Kagome retreated, raising her hands before her as though to ward off the old woman's progress. “No, I—”

Old Seer gasped again, her hand slowly clutching her chest. Eyes widening as she stared, she looked as though she were ready to fall. “The Shikon no Tama . . . That is what I sensed. You keep it pure, don't you?”

Kagome nodded, her hands shaking as she unconsciously wrapped her hands around the pink orb that had worked itself out of her blouse as she had tried to get away. “Yes, I do.”

Old Seer shook her head. “There is still a strong aura of evil surrounding it . . . stronger than I remember . . .”

“You've seen the jewel before?”

“Oh, yes . . . Kikyou had it then . . . but this aura . . . it keeps you from purifying the jewel.”

Kagome frowned. “What do you mean? Why didn't I sense this evil aura?”

Old Seer smiled. “You're young and untrained, Kagome. More subtle changes in aura are harder to sense . . . and it is not in your nature to be distrustful. This is your strength, and this is your weakness.”

“How can I dispel this aura?”

“You must discover its source, and you must dispel the evil. Be careful. This evil you seek is far more skilled at subterfuge.”

Kagome shook her head, her eyes shrouded in confusion. “No one else has had possession of the jewel . . . it doesn't make sense.”

Old Seer nodded her agreement. “So it would seem.”

“Kagome!”

“Over here,” she called as Miroku ran toward her.

“This is my friend, Miroku,” Kagome told the old woman.

“You used to be a monk . . . a powerful monk . . . and yet you chose to turn your back on this for a woman?”

Miroku nodded. “Yes, I did.”

Old Seer shook her head, a confused look cloaking her face as she shifted her gaze between Kagome and Miroku then back again. “This part of yourself, this emptiness . . . you gave this part to him, and to his wife . . .”

Kagome didn't get a chance to answer. Miroku stepped between the women and frowned. “She did something that not many could do, and for that, my wife and I are grateful.”

Old Seer nodded slowly. “As it should be. You need not protect Kagome from me. I seek not to harm her.”

Miroku didn't look impressed. “Come, Kagome. We've gathered Kaede's herbs.”

Kagome turned to go. Old Seer laid a hand on her arm to stop her. “Kagome, trust in what I've told you.”

She tried to smile. “I will.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Miroku:**  
>  I really want some of that toxin powder…


	39. Old Seer

 

~~ ** _Chapter 39_** ~~  
~ ** _Old Seer_** ~

 

“Is this really necessary?”

“Keh! If this old woman knows something, then yes, it is.”

“That's not what I meant.”

“What did you mean then?”

“I mean, I told you what she said.”

InuYasha peeked over his shoulder. Kagome was frowning, chewing on her bottom lip. “Why do I get the feeling you don't want me to meet the old hag?”

“She's not an old hag, and I don't know what you're talking about.”

“If she knows something about the jewel, then I wanna hear it for myself.”

Kagome leaned forward and rested her chin on his shoulder. Not for the first time, she noticed how safe she felt, traveling with InuYasha. It was a feeling of security that she didn't always feel, and it was one that had become increasingly hard to come by. She sighed happily as she closed her eyes and rested her cheek on his shoulder.

“Oi! No sleeping, wench!”

Kagome popped an eye open and reached up to flick InuYasha's ear playfully. He twitched away from her. She giggled and tried again.

“Don't make me drop you,” he warned.

“You won't,” she scoffed. “You're too nice.”

“Keh!”

“And you swore to protect me, not dump me on my rear.”

“Debatable.”

“Oh, it isn't!” She managed to rub his ear a few moments before she settled herself against his shoulder again. “Anyway, if you drop me then I'll be mad, and you hate it when I'm mad.”

“Because you yell.”

“You're such a baka.”

“And you're such a wench.”

“Can we stop for awhile?”

“We're almost there.”

Kagome made a face. “I know that.”

“Then why do you want to stop?”

“Because I want to walk awhile.”

“Keh!” InuYasha snorted but stopped to let her off his back. “We'd get there faster if you'd just move it, Kagome.”

“I will, I will,” she assured him as she stretched. “Wow . . . my muscles all locked up . . . See what happens when you don't let me walk some?”

“Too bad your jaw didn't lock up,” he grumbled.

“InuYasha! You take that back!”

“Keh! Make me!”

“Oh, you asked for it!” she promised as she ran after him. She knew he was playing. He could have outrun her easily enough. Still he let her catch up, and when she hurled herself against him, he caught her and rolled so that he took the brunt of the fall. “Give up, dog-boy!” she demanded as she straddled him and lunged for his ears.

“In what world?” he shot back.

“This one or you'll be sorry!”

“Keh! I don't think so.”

She captured one of his ears and rubbed. “I love your ears,” she remarked as she traced the outline with her fingertip.

“I think your brain's broke,” he grouched as he tried to jerk his head to the side.

“Be still so I can rub your ears,” she retorted.

“Keh!” He tried to jerk away again.

Kagome scooted forward and pinned his arms with her knees on his sleeves to impede his movement before she leaned forward and contented herself with a hand on each ear. “Ready to give up yet?”

“K-K-Kagome?”

She paused and arched her back so that she could glance down at his face. “What?”

He had his eyes squeezed closed, a grimace like he was in pain etched into his features. Kagome let go of his ears and scooted back. “InuYasha? Are you okay?”

Cautiously, he popped one eye open. “You'd better get up,” he told her.

Kagome frowned. “You're just trying to get out of surrendering,” she guessed.

“Keh!”

“All right, then I'm not moving.”

He growled.

“At least say please.”

“Fat fucking chance,” he snorted. Rolling his body enough to unseat her, Kagome yelped and fell against his chest, her arms pinned between them. He stared at her, a rush of emotion filling his gaze just before he groaned softly and pulled her down to kiss him.

The connection of their lips was a heady thing. His mouth was hungry, searching, searing against hers yet with an underlying charm, a gentleness that touched her. Leaning to the side to free one of her arms, Kagome traced the contours of his face with her fingertips. He reached up, caught her hand, twined his fingers into hers.

Something about the sweetness of the gesture brought tears to her eyes, and she kissed him back, telling him how much she adored him, even if he didn't understand. Every breath she drew was his, every heartbeat she felt was his. As though everything about him spoke to her, the invisible bonding of two hearts was a tangible thing, and in those moments, InuYasha let his guard down. His emotion was a breathtaking spell, a balm that spoke to her soul, the promise that he would make everything all right for her.

` _InuYasha_ . . .'

The subtle touch of a burgeoning need blossomed under the tender rise of sensation. The breeze rippled over her, soothed her, but couldn't calm the growing sense that some small part of her was coming undone. The velvet touch of his lips to hers evoked a deeper ache, a frightening thing that she couldn't define. Innocent passion mingled with an inner knowledge, a secret truth that nothing in the world mattered but the way InuYasha made her feel, and maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way . . .

A whimper, a sigh, a low, hungry growl as he tugged at the silken fibers of her soul, aroused in her the will to live, the need to feel, the indecision of a heart tainted by sadness that dared to wish for something more. A tender awakening of hidden desire, a gentle fanning of beautiful sensation as languor seeped into her body combining with the heady tide of her desperation. His youki wrapped around her, sheltered her from the ache in her aura, the broken part of her that he wanted to save. In the touch of his lips he gave her everything, sought to show her through his own weakness that she could again be strong.

Stroking her hair with his free hand, his claws grazing against her skin now and again, InuYasha sighed against her lips. She pressed soft kisses along the outline of his mouth, reveled in the heat of his body under hers. “Kagome . . .” he mumbled.

She sighed. “I know,” she answered. “It's just . . . I feel so close to you, and . . .”

“Me, too.”

She would have been content to lie there forever as InuYasha stroked her hair, as she laid her head against his shoulder, savoring the feeling that he really did care about her. He allowed it for another few minutes before gently rolling her off him so he could sit up. His eyes took on that far away look, the one that meant he was thinking about something. “Come on. We're almost there.”

“InuYasha?”

He reached down to grab her hands and help her up. “What?”

She opened her mouth to ask him what he was thinking. Something about the near-sadness in his gaze stopped her. She wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know what was on his mind. “Nothing.”

He retrieved her bag then started walking. “What are you waiting for, wench?”

Shaking her head slowly, Kagome hurried to catch up with him.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Holding the hem of her kimono up off the dirty floor, she descended the spiraling, creaking wooden staircase. This part of the castle was deserted, almost forgotten. Used to house prisoners of war or those who couldn't pay their debts to the previous lord, the dank surroundings reeked of stale sweat and old urine, of vermin and a thing that could not be named.

It served its purpose, however, and for that, she was grateful. Hidden away, sealed off, the secret that lay in the deepest recess of the dungeon beckoned her forward, hurried her step as anticipation rose inside her.

` _Not quite yet . . . almost_ . . .'

Hisadaicho touched the thick door, unlocked the seal with the press of her hand. The door creaked open, and she stepped inside.

The darkness was nothing to her. Discerning shape and form without lighting the torches, she swept toward the pulsating mass, the shell-like casing. Not a crack, not a seam . . . ` _Perfect, my darling_ ,' she thought with a smile as she ran her hands over the smooth surface before sinking to her knees in the thick, pliable flesh at the base of the cocoon.

The dreams had been changing of late. The dull dreams of an innocent girl were giving way slowly to the more tempestuous desires of the being she was becoming. The shapes in the mist had no form, as yet, but they would, and when they did, the girl would be reborn.

Slowly pulling the dagger from the belt of her kimono, Hisadaicho ran her fingers lightly over the dull side of the blade. “One last thing, my lovely girl . . .”

Gripping the dagger tightly in her fist, Hisadaicho braced herself as she lifted her other arm. With a swift strike, she sliced the tender flesh of her wrist, watching in mute fascination as the blood twisted a scarlet path down her arm and dripped from her elbow. The soft plop of the blood hitting the mass under her brought a smile to her lips, and with another flash of the dagger, the undulating mound oozed sticky, thick, pungent fluid.

Hisadaicho let her blood seep into the newly created wound, her satisfaction growing as the blood forced the membrane to mend. Licking the last traces of blood from her wrist, she sighed.

` _Infused with my blood . . . my child of illusion . . . you are bound to me_.'

Standing slowly, she ran her hands over the cocoon once more, noting with a pleased glimmer in her lavender eyes that the pulsing had increased with the addition of her blood.

` _Now hurry . . . I have plans for you_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“You wish to know about the Shikon no Tama?”

InuYasha sat next to the fire pit with his arms wrapped around Tetsusaiga as Kagome knelt beside him. Old Seer leaned forward to stir something in a pot on the fire. InuYasha wrinkled his nose at the stinging scent of the steeping herbs. “Yes, please,” Kagome spoke up. “InuYasha wanted to hear more about it, if you don't mind.”

Old Seer sat back and nodded, lifting her gaze to stare at InuYasha, eyes narrowed, discerning him as she had Kagome earlier. InuYasha scowled but didn't look away from her as she assessed him. “You seek to purify the jewel, and yet you fear that this will cause despair.”

InuYasha didn't answer that. “What do you know?”

“Kagome, would you fetch me some water? From the old spring, down the path . . . ?”

Kagome nodded and stood. InuYasha growled low. Kagome nodded at his unvoiced warning to be careful before she took the bucket and stepped outside.

Old Seer uttered a small laugh, the sound old, brittle. “You seek my council? Be patient, hanyou. I will tell you what I know in my time, not yours.” Reaching out, palm up, she scooted closer to InuYasha. “Give me your hand.”

He shot her a quizzical glance before he did as she asked. The old woman placed her other hand on top of his and let her eyes flutter closed. “A noble heart, a battle of wills . . . your youkai fights against your human nature, a struggle between what you want and what you perceive you do not deserve . . .”

InuYasha jerked his hand back, shoving his arms together under the cover of his haori sleeves. “Keh!”

Old Seer opened her eyes and smiled, her faded gaze suddenly brightening with unshed tears. Leaning forward to cup her hand against his cheek, she chuckled at his heightened color. “Some things, InuYasha, are inevitable. You are bound to Kagome, both in heart as well as in soul. You know this yet you choose to fight it. Why?”

InuYasha shook his head. “What does it matter? I came here—”

“For answers, didn't you? To have the answers you seek, you must first understand what you are. What are you, InuYasha?”

“I'm . . .”

“Say it. Painful, what you think, but necessary to hear. Say it.”

“I'm . . . nothing.”

She let her hand fall away as she sat back. “You truly believe this, in your heart. You believe that you are nothing, because you are neither human nor youkai. What you should believe is that perhaps . . . you are everything, both human and youkai. Your humanity allows you to feel. Your youkai allows you to protect, and _that_ makes you everything.”

“Keh.”

“You do not believe this. It is not important that you do, but you must allow Kagome to believe this, for this is what she needs.”

“What do you mean?”

Old Seer smiled. “The purity in your heart matches the heart of the girl. Your souls are in harmony. She is the one who completes you. At present, she suffers in silence. She holds onto her pain, unwilling to burden others with whatever it is she thinks she has done. You, alone, have the power to heal her, just as she has already healed you.”

“You talk in riddles, old woman,” InuYasha grumbled.

“If you give her what she thinks she wants, you will lose her, InuYasha.”

InuYasha's chin snapped up, eyes flashing with a myriad of emotions. “What do you know?”

Old Seer shrugged and stood with the help of her walking stick. “I know only what I've seen in Kagome's heart . . . and what I've seen in yours.”

“But what about the jewel?”

“There is a trace of an evil aura that lingers on the jewel. You must destroy the evil in order to dispel the aura.”

“Just tell me where to look,” he said, his eyes glowing with fierce determination. “My Tetsusaiga can handle it.”

She shook her head and slowly turned back to gaze at him. “Your Tetsusaiga—legendary Sword of the Fang . . . It is useless against this evil. Physical power will not work against it.”

“Can you tell me where to look for this evil?” he asked, discarding her warning about his strength. “What am I looking for?”

Old Seer lifted the pot off the fire and set it aside to cool before she sank back down on the floor. Kagome slipped back into the hut and set the bucket beside the door before returning to her place beside InuYasha. “Thank you, child . . .”

“You're welcome.”

Turning her attention back to InuYasha, Old Seer pursed her lips, shook her head. “Your impetuousness will lead to disaster, InuYasha. As for your question, I know not. The evil is shrouded in mystery, veiled in a blanket of deception. Seek it you must, but in this, I cannot aid you. The eye of wisdom only allows me to see what it will.”

InuYasha snorted. “There's gotta be something you can tell us.”

Old Seer closed her eyes again, tried once more to see the answers to InuYasha's questions. “I see only this: it is malignant and stale, no more than a whisper in the darkness. Find it, InuYasha. Find it and send it to hell.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  Keh! I think the old woman's insane!


	40. Discontent

 

~~ ** _Chapter 40_** ~~  
~ ** _Discontent_** ~

 

InuYasha knelt on the branch as Old Seer's words echoed through his head. ` _What you should believe is that perhaps . . . you are everything, both human and youkai. Your humanity allows you to feel. Your youkai allows you to protect, and that makes you everything_.'

Staring over the treetops at the setting sun, he shook his head and scowled. ` _Keh. Crazy old woman. She don't know what she's talking about_ _. . ._ _I've been told often enough: worthless, nothing, tainted_ _. . ._ _What kind of life could I offer Kagome?_ '

“InuYasha?”

Peeking down through the branches of the thick tree, InuYasha nearly smiled as Kagome started to hitch herself up on the lower branches.

“You know, you could offer me a hand or something,” she pointed out as she continued to climb.

“You're doing all right,” he remarked.

She grunted as she flopped over a branch and managed to finagle her legs up, too. “Ugh . . . they say chivalry is dead in my time, but I think it died about five hundred years before.”

He did chuckle as she leaned on the tree to steady herself as she stood up and caught the branch he was sitting on. InuYasha gave in and caught her arms to pull her up beside him. “I'd have come down after you if you'd have asked.”

Kagome examined a tiny scratch on her knee. “Look what you made me do,” she accused.

“Keh! You'll live. I told you, if you'd have asked . . .”

She shook her head and let her leg drop again.

InuYasha wrinkled his nose as the trace scent of blood surged in his nostrils. With a sigh, he gathered her up and hopped down. Settling her against the tree, he grabbed her bag and dragged out the first aid kit.

“I don't need that,” she pointed out as he dug through it for the antibacterial ointment, an alcohol swab and a huge bandage. “And I definitely don't need _that_ ,” she said, nodding at the oversized patch in his hand.

“Hush, I'm workin' here.”

Kagome grabbed the kit off the ground and dug out a small flex-strip bandage. “Here . . . this is more than enough. I don't even need _that_.”

He took the tiny bandage and tossed it back into the box. “I'll use this, thanks.”

Kagome rolled her eyes but didn't complain as he dabbed at the barely-there scratch with the wipe before smearing nearly half of the tube of ointment on her and gently positioning the gauze pad. He wrapped the bandaging material around her knee about ten times and used his teeth to tear the bandage. Patting it into place and tilting his head from side to side, he examined his handiwork before quickly leaning forward to kiss the tip of her knee.

“Why'd you do that?” she asked quietly.

He blushed and avoided her questioning gaze. “My mother did that when I fell and scraped my knee once,” he admitted.

“Oh . . .” she said, eyes widening as soft emotion filled her gaze. He looked up, caught the expression, and slowly blinked. “Thank you.”

He swallowed hard and shook his head quickly before dropping the supplies back into the kit and snapping it closed. “I'll, uh . . . I'll find something for you to eat.”

Shooting to his feet, he ran off into the forest as he wondered if she knew—if she had any idea—just how badly she could devastate his senses. A simple look, a timid smile . . . InuYasha felt a tremor run up his spine and back down again. He shook his head as he broke into the clearing near the river. He'd give her anything she could possibly ask for, if he only knew what it was she wanted.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome smiled as she watched InuYasha's hasty retreat. The raw emotion in his eyes set off a tremble in her belly, a suffusion of heat that coursed through her veins. Wild and beautiful, gruff and tender, he was everything to her, wasn't he?

A sudden vision, a fleeting dream of a silvery-haired child with his father's hanyou ears . . .

Kagome's smile widened as something in her heart spoke to her. ` _You want that, Kagome . . . but you want it all, don't you? Listen to what Old Seer told you_ . . .'

Those old eyes, staring at her from the wise face of the old woman could still see her, even now. ` _What you want would please you for a time. It also has the power to destroy that which you hope for in your heart. You know this. You must choose your path. Would you cast aside the one who brings you peace?_ '

She pushed herself to her feet and wandered over to drop another log on the fire before setting a pan of water to heat and unrolling her bedroll.

` _That can't be true, can it? A child can't destroy InuYasha . . ._ _or_ _me . . . I'd never cast InuYasha aside_ . . .'

Preoccupying herself with stomach crunches, Kagome still had to wonder why Old Seer would warn her against that. ` _Maybe it's because_ _you know he doesn't want a child, not yet . . . if ever_ _. . ._ _Can you blame him? Look at his life. He's been scorned and cast out_ _. . ._ _Not really the greatest way to convince someone to have children_.'

She sat up and hooked her arms around her legs with a disgusted sigh that turned into a tender smile as she remembered the gentle care he'd used when bandaging her knee. Barely a scrape, and he'd overreacted, of course. Then again, wasn't that one of the things she adored, even if he was a little overzealous about it?

Kagome straightened up quickly and slowly got to her feet. The shifting breeze brought with it a familiar aura, youki that she recognized.

Her bow and arrows were nearby but she didn't reach for them. She didn't think she'd need them. Seconds later, Sesshoumaru stepped out of the trees. His cold gaze took in the campsite before flicking over Kagome coolly. “Miko, we meet again.”

“Hello, Sesshoumaru.”

InuYasha's arrival was announced by the rustling trees to her left, and he erupted into the clearing in a crimson streak of movement. “What do you want?”

Sesshoumaru's gaze dismissed Kagome completely as he regarded his half-brother in the same icy fashion. “InuYasha, are you not far from the safety of your forest?”

InuYasha snorted and stepped between Sesshoumaru and Kagome. “We came to see an old woman, a seer, not that it's any of your business because it ain't.”

“I care not where you wander, baka.”

InuYasha cracked his knuckles and let his hand casually rest on Tetsusaiga's hilt. “Keep it up, bastard. If you think you can stop me, feel free to try.”

Sesshoumaru's gaze narrowed. Kagome stepped around InuYasha. “We were trying to find out why we haven't been able to purify the Shikon no Tama yet,” she explained.

“That is none of my concern,” Sesshoumaru rebutted. “I have no interest in that tainted artifact.”

“Keh. Whatever,” InuYasha snorted. “Then what the hell do you want?”

“I seek someone, if you must know,” Sesshoumaru admitted as he shifted his gaze around the small clearing.

“Do we know this person?” Kagome asked before InuYasha could tell Sesshoumaru how much he didn't care.

“Unlikely.”

“Forget it, Kagome. Who cares who he's lookin' for?”

Kagome rolled her eyes. “Still, if we know him or her . . .”

InuYasha pursed his lips and dragged Kagome back behind him. Sesshoumaru turned back to stare at the two of them as his gaze narrowed, as his nostrils flared. “Miko . . . you've whelped a pup yet you remain pure . . . how can this be so?”

Kagome grimaced as InuYasha shoved her further behind his back. “None of your business, bastard, now go away before I decide to hack off your other arm.”

Sesshoumaru dismissed InuYasha as though he were nothing more than dirt in the path. “Disgusting. You're beginning to reek of that baka, Miko. I suggest you wash off the stench before it taints you, as well.”

“Taint this, bastard!” InuYasha growled, drawing Tetsusaiga in a flash of light.

Sesshoumaru shook his head. “I have not the time to trifle with you, InuYasha. Why is it that your kind always seeks to meddle in the affairs of others?”

“My kind?” InuYasha echoed. “What the hell does that mean?”

“What, indeed?” Sesshoumaru scoffed as he turned on his heel and strode back into the dense foliage.

InuYasha growled as he watched his brother leave before dropping Tetsusaiga into its sheathe. “I fucking hate him.”

“That seemed stranger than usual, didn't it?” Kagome remarked as she peeked around InuYasha to watch Sesshoumaru's retreat.

“My kind, huh?”

“What do you think he meant by that?”

InuYasha turned to glare at her. “What do you think, wench? Hanyou, of course.”

Kagome shook her head. “Still it was odd.”

InuYasha shrugged and stomped back toward the forest to retrieve the fish he'd dropped there.

Kagome didn't speak as she washed off the fish and skewered them on sticks to cook. ` _Hanyou . . . has Sesshoumaru met another? There aren't that many around . . . Shiori and Jinenji, and I'm sure there are a few others, but_ _. . ._ _What was he talking about?_ '

InuYasha knelt down beside her and took one of the skewers to hold over the fire. Their hands brushed, and Kagome hid her smile as his cheeks reddened. Her heart seemed to skip a beat when he slowly, deliberately let his hand brush hers again.

“Did Old Seer tell you anything else about the jewel?” Kagome asked, unable to think of anything else to say.

“Not really.”

She sighed. “We're no closer to figuring it out than we ever were . . . at least we know why we haven't been able to purify it yet.” Turning her fish, Kagome shook her head. “It doesn't make sense, though, does it? No one else had the jewel.”

InuYasha scowled. “Keh.”

Kagome nodded and nudged him with her shoulder. “Maybe Miroku or Kaede will have an idea.”

InuYasha didn't look convinced. “Maybe.”

Kagome finished grilling her fish and glanced at InuYasha's. It was burned nearly black on one side and the stench of the burning meat was quickly filling the air. She turned to see why InuYasha hadn't noticed only to find him staring at her, an almost puzzled expression on his face, a mix of confusion and something she couldn't quite place. “InuYasha?”

He didn't reply. He didn't even seem to notice that she was staring right back at him. Kagome felt her cheeks flush but reached over to touch his hand. “Your fish is burning.”

“Uh? Oh . . .” He snapped out of his reverie and jerked his fish out of the flames with a wince.

Kagome tugged the stick out of his hand and stuck hers into it before smiling at him. His hanyou senses were far sharper than hers. She could stand to gnaw on the unburned side of the fish. He couldn't, and she didn't have the heart to watch him head off to catch another fish for himself, either.

He frowned at the skewered fish and reached for the stick she'd traded. Kagome scooted away and quickly bit out of the good side of hers. “Oi, wench! Give me back my fish.”

“You can't eat this one, you know you can't. It's fine. I'm not really very hungry, anyway, and this side is still good.” To illustrate her point, she took another bite.

“I'll go catch another one. It's no big deal,” he grumbled.

“This one is _fine_. Just eat before yours gets cold, will you?”

“Kagome—”

She started humming loudly as she slowly stripped off the good meat, ignoring the slightly burnt taste that was still prevalent in the meat.

“You can't ignore me!” InuYasha pointed out, raising his voice to be heard over her humming.

She finished her meal and tossed the stick and the remnants of the fish into the fire. Sitting back and patting her stomach with one hand, she grinned. “Ahh, I'm so full . . . can't eat another bite, even if I wanted to . . .”

InuYasha looked like he wanted to force-feed her the unburned fish.

“If I eat another bite, I think I'll be sick, I'm so-o-o full . . .” Which wasn't exactly a lie, since the taste of the burned fish was turning her stomach at the moment.

“Full of something, but it ain't this,” InuYasha grumbled but finally bit into his fish.

Kagome hid her wan smile as she dug a bottle of water out of her bag. She knew by now that the quickest way to stop InuYasha in his tracks was to threaten physical illness. ` _All right, so that was a little low of me_ . . .' she confessed to herself. ` _He needs it more than I do, though_.'

Rooting through the bag for another bottle of water, Kagome found her vitamins and shook one out before recapping the plastic bottle and tossing InuYasha the water. He was busy eating, which was quite amusing since he still had `The Pout' on his face. She slipped the pill into her mouth and swallowed some water to force it down, wincing as the huge pill stuck in her throat.

“What was that?”

Kagome blinked and glanced at InuYasha, who had tossed his stick into the fire, too, and was now eyeing her cautiously. “What was what?”

“What did you just swallow?”

“Swallow?”

“Yes, wench.”

“. . . Water?”

“With the water.”

“With the water?”

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest as his expression darkened and he leaned forward. “Kagome . . .”

“Oh, that? That was nothing . . . a, um . . . really big swallow.”

His gaze narrowed. “Did I tell you before that you can't lie worth a damn?”

“Hmm, I think I need a bath . . .”

“Oi!”

Kagome shot to her feet and grabbed the bag before running toward the stream as she prayed that InuYasha would leave well enough alone.

She should have known better. She _did_ know better. InuYasha jerked the bag out of her arms, and with a last scathing glower at her, he dumped the backpack on the ground and started sifting through the contents.

“InuYasha!”

He ignored her indignation as he tossed things aside. Grabbing the bottle of vitamins, InuYasha read the label slowly before sucking in his breath and slowly turning to pin her with an even more menacing glare. “What the fuck are these?”

Kagome twisted her fingers together. “. . . Vitamins.”

“Are you sick?”

“. . . No.”

“What _kind_ of vitamins?”

“. . . Prenatal vitamins.”

The suspicious light in his gaze grew more menacing as he glared at her, daring her to lie. “Which means . . . ?”

Her fingers wiggled nervously as she pulled them apart and pushed them back together again. “You remember . . . I took those when I was . . . pregnant.”

Very slowly, very deliberately, InuYasha leaned toward her and sniffed—loudly. “I don't smell a pup on you, which is a damn good thing since I'd fucking kill anyone who made one with you . . .”

“I'm not pregnant!” she blurted, cheeks burning as she struggled to find a way out of this conversation.

“Then why do you need these?” he snarled as he shot to his feet to tower over her.

“I . . .”

“ _Why?_ ” he bellowed.

“Because . . . I . . .”

“Spit it out, wench!”

“Because I _want_ to be!” she shot back, half-sobbing, half-screeching, gaze brightened by angry tears. “I want one of my own! Don't you get it? Can't you understand that? I want—”

Why did he have to look so upset, so hurt, by her confession? “You want a pup because you gave Marisaiko to Miroku and Sango! That's what you want, and you can't do that!”

“Why can't I?”

“Because you can't replace one pup with another, damn it!”

She gasped as the color bleached out of her skin. Hands shaking, lifting to press against her lips, she keened softly as a tearless sob escaped. “Why?” she whispered as she sank slowly to her knees, arms wrapping over her stomach as though she were trying to protect herself. Pain spilled over, an ache so deep that she thought it would kill her. She felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest as she willed tears to come. Her eyes were hot, dry, burning.

InuYasha knelt before her. “Kagome . . . you can't do it, you know? It's not the right reason.”

“Then what is?”

He winced when she looked at him, as if the pain, the questions in her gaze had the power to hurt him, too. “I don't know . . . but you can't replace someone.” His eyes fell away from hers, and he shook his head. “I know . . . I tried . . . for awhile, after Mother died . . . I tried, and it didn't work then, either.”

“What am I supposed to do?” she implored, a desperation in her voice, her stare begging him to help her. “It hurts, and I . . . I just want to _fix_ it . . .”

InuYasha closed his eyes, slowly reached out to pull her into his arms. “I can't fix it. I'm sorry.”

And his apology, his softly uttered words, the broken sound of his statement . . . it was enough. The tears that throbbed in her throat, that burned her nose and eyes, welled up, spilled over, and InuYasha held her tight.

The emotions she'd tried so hard to bury, tried so hard to forget choked her, shredded her already broken heart. Thick, stifling, repulsive, anger warred with sadness, and sadness bled into confusion. The spiral of sentiment was a bitter thing, an ugly thing, and still it grew and grew inside her, hot and horrible. If she didn't let it out, it would destroy her . . .

He let her yell, let her scream, let her sob. Ranting and raving, weakly pounding her fists against his chest in complete misery, InuYasha held her. It didn't matter that she couldn't say anything that made any sense at all. It didn't matter that she shrieked until her voice was rasping and harsh. It didn't matter that she tried to pull away in pointless rage. He held her firmly, and when she finally relaxed against him, emotions drained to the point of nothing, InuYasha pulled her closer, letting his rumble soothe her until she wound down to sniffles and hiccups.

She straightened up. This time he let her pull away just enough to turn, to look at him. “I'm sorry . . . I didn't mean to . . . I'm sorry I hit you.”

He shook his head, his eyes full of quiet emotion. “Keh. You can't hurt me, wench. Here,” he said, handing her the vial.

She shook it and watched in silence as he did the same.

“Go lay down. I'll pick this up.”

She did as she was instructed, sighing softly as InuYasha jammed everything back into the bag. He started to sit down by the fire. Kagome leaned up on her elbow. “InuYasha?”

He stopped and peeked over at her.

“Would you . . . ? It's safe, right? Since we both shook the talisman?”

He understood her unasked question. Rising slowly, he came to her, stretched out beside her and drew her back into his arms again before pressing a kiss on her forehead.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Go to sleep, wench.”

She closed her eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Sesshoumaru:**  
>  …InuYasha no baka … allowing himself to fall prey to Hisadaicho's toxin …


	41. Rebirth

 

~~ ** _Chapter 41_** ~~  
~ ** _Rebirth_** ~

 

InuYasha tapped his foot impatiently as Kagome carefully selected candy for the two cellophane bags. “Do you think Shippou would like these?” she asked, pointing at the cinnamon sticks in one of the big glass jars. She giggled as she read the label on another one. “Look! Banana! Ichisaru will love these!”

Tugging on the hat she made him wear whenever he came with her into Tokyo, InuYasha snorted. “They inhale it, anyway. You think they bother to taste it?”

Kagome stuck out her tongue. “Baka . . . of course they do!”

He snorted. “I dunno . . . if you don't quit feeding them candy, they'll get fat.”

She laughed. “And you? You eat enough ramen to feed a third-world country, you know.”

“I work it off, wench,” he countered airily.

“Yeah, yeah, brag a little more, dog-boy,” Kagome told him.

“Keh.”

Kagome grabbed his hand and dragged him further into the rows of candies. “Look! Gummy puppies! You want some?”

“Keh. No, thanks,” he scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he snorted at the candies.

She giggled. “Oh? How about these then? They're sour.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “ _Sour_ gummy puppies? I'll pass.”

She leaned up on her toes, bracing herself on his shoulder to kiss his cheek. Giggling at the redness that seeped into his cheeks, she continued dropping candies into the bags.

“Kagome! How are you?”

Kagome blinked and smiled as she glanced up to see Houjou rounding the corner of the aisle. With a wide smile and a small bag of candy, he waved at her and hurried forward. “Houjou! It's so nice to see you again.”

A low growl erupted behind her just as Kagome felt herself being jerked back against a solid chest. “I want I should shred him now.”

“No!” she hissed. “Stop that!”

His growl escalated. Kagome rolled her eyes.

Houjou reached out to shake Kagome's hand. InuYasha's shot out to push it away. “Keh. Think again, you little—”

“So how have you been, Houjou?” Kagome interrupted loudly, cutting off InuYasha's threat.

“Fine . . . fine . . . still working at the library and going to classes. You look good . . .”

InuYasha's growl became a snarl. “Why the hell are you looking at her?”

Houjou's eyebrows shot up as he backed away a step. Kagome groaned. “InuYasha . . .”

“I just meant, since she had the baby, and—”

“And if you look again, I'll—”

“Oh, well, look at the time!” Kagome practically yelled. “Nice seeing you again, Houjou! Come on or we'll be late!” she said, hoping that her tone was cheerful enough as she grasped InuYasha's hand and dragged him toward the front of the store.

“Oi, wench! I'm not a pup!” InuYasha complained since she had a surprisingly strong grasp on his hand.

“I didn't say you were,” she replied sweetly. “But you can't start a fight in a candy store, and you can't start a fight because Houjou said I look good.”

“The hell I can't,” he retorted but followed her to the counter to pay for the candy. “Anyway, just what the fuck did he mean by that? You _always_ look good, damn it, so what did _that_ mean? ` _Since you had the baby_.' Keh! Little bastard, I—”

Kagome froze as her head slowly turned to stare at him, a strangely optimistic light in her gaze. “Do . . . do you really think that?”

Realizing too late what he had let slip, InuYasha screwed his face into `The Pout' and clamped his mouth closed. Kagome sighed and rolled her eyes. “Would it kill you to fess up to what you said?” she prodded.

The look he shot her told her plainly that he certainly believed it might. She pushed out of the store and onto the sidewalk as InuYasha fell in step beside her. She had a few more errands to take care of before they could go back. InuYasha had said he wanted to search for the butterfly youkai again, and she was trying to get as many supplies as she could carry since she hated running low on the things she needed. The only `supply' InuYasha ever wanted to bring along was ramen. She shook her head and stifled a sigh.

She glanced down quickly when she felt the warm hand close over hers. Daring a peek at InuYasha's face, she smiled. Staring straight ahead with his chin held defiantly high, he didn't even spare her a look as he kept walking. Kagome stared at her hand in his as a very pleasant warmth ebbed from his hand to hers and spread to the rest of her body, culminating in a complete contentment in her heart.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Is it time?”

Hisadaicho smiled as she stared at the now-glowing cocoon. Pulsing, throbbing, the shell resonated with the beat of the heart within. “Yes . . . it is. Witness the birth . . . or should I say _re_ birth?”

Iwazawa stared at the cocoon with shadowed eyes.

The massive pulpy flesh at the base expanded and contracted like a human heart. The dreams had become clear, gained strength and intensity.

A vague memory . . . _the damp darkness . . . she was afraid. Her koishii hushed her with his lazy smile, a cunning look. “Do this for me, my butterfly . . . and you will live forever_.”

“ _What good is forever if it is not with you?” she pouted, her then-brown eyes pleading_.

“ _If I am not here when you emerge, you know what you must do_.”

_Staring at him for long moments, she nodded slowly. “How long will this process take, my koishii?_ ”

_He stroked her cheek with his knuckles._ _“I do not know . . . months . . . years . . . but we shall have all the time in the world, will we not?_ ”

_Her eyes drifted closed as he pushed the thin pink kimono from her shoulders. “All the time . . . in the world_ . . .”

_The soft rustle of fabric . . . she opened her eyes to watch him remove his clothing. “You will be reborn, and you shall call yourself Hisadaicho . . . my butterfly_ . . .”

_She dropped to her knees before him, wrapped her hands around him. “Yes . . . for you, my koishii . . . for you_ . . .”

“Hisadaicho-sama . . . ?” Iwazawa interrupted, a note of awe in his voice.

Jarred out of her memories, Hisadaicho's smile widened as she watched the first hairline crack appear in the cocoon. “It is time.”

After the reanimation, it had taken days for Iwazawa and the others to regain the ability to speak. They did not remember the rebirth in the cave, the ignoble resurrection of the body, of the mind, of the soul. Hisadaicho did.

There was a certain fascination in the watching, an undeniable pleasure in observing her creation come into the light.

Another crack appeared as a large chunk of the hard casing fell away. Slowly, so painfully slowly, the being within began to move.

Her arms were at her sides, her breasts heaving as she began to breathe again. “Perfect,” Hisadaicho whispered. “She's lovely.”

As the last of the cocoon broke away, the woman opened her eyes. An oddly vacant expression gave way to a burning glow as life reanimated, rekindled. Stretching her limbs, turning her head as she gazed around the disparaging cell, the woman slowly stepped out of the cocoon and onto the fleshy mat.

“Where am I?” she asked, her voice caressing, husky.

Hisadaicho grinned. “You are in my home.”

“And who are you?”

“I am your mistress. You will serve me.”

A flicker of outrage in her eyes as the woman stared at her. “I serve no one.”

Hisadaicho smiled. “Ah, but you do . . . and you will.”

The woman returned the insincere smile. “Do you honestly believe that?”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha reached down into the well to catch Kagome's arms and pull her up. “Come on, wench. We ain't got all day.”

“Blame yourself! You're the one who took all day drooling over the different kinds of ramen.”

He wrinkled his nose. “If we hadn't had to buy candy for the twerps,” he challenged, “then we would've been back a lot sooner.”

“Right,” she remarked as she tweaked his ear. He flicked it. She giggled and tweaked again. “Are you sure we should leave so soon? I mean, we just got back from the last time . . .”

InuYasha shrugged. “I ain't giving up,” he informed her, “and you have to come with me, remember?”

She frowned. “InuYasha? Do you really think you can fight her? If . . . if she looks like me?”

He snorted. “Of course. I know you, wench. You think I don't?”

She made a face. “It isn't that . . .”

“Then what?”

“What if . . . what if you can't tell us apart?”

InuYasha hesitated for a moment before stubbornly shaking his head. “Keh. I'll know.”

“Well . . . if Kouga couldn't tell . . .”

“Kouga? That fucking piece of wolf-bastard don't know his head from a hole in the ground, Kagome. I'll know. I ain't that stupid.”

“That's the thing, InuYasha. It doesn't have anything to do with `stupid'. This youkai uses people's emotions. She's relying on that to keep herself safe, you know?”

He stopped and grasped Kagome's shoulders, forcing her to look at him. She blinked at the sudden show of fierce protectiveness in his gaze as he frowned at her. “Nothing threatens you and lives, Kagome. _Nothing_. You got that?”

She nodded.

The intensity in his expression didn't wane. “Good. Now stop worrying about it, all right?”

She nodded again.

He pulled her into a hug, his cheek resting against her temple. She threaded her arms under his, wrapping her hands over his shoulders. “I'll keep you safe. I promised.”

“Okay.” She leaned back, stared up at him. “But what if—?”

With a growl, InuYasha kissed her. Though she was certain that part of the reason was to silence her, she also knew that he really just wanted to do it. With a soft sigh, she relaxed against him, enjoying the feel of him, the clean scent of him, like the wind, like the trees . . .

Violent sensation triggered by the brush of fangs against her lips, Kagome shivered and clung to him as her mind reeled in him. The pulse of heat shot through her as he nibbled at her bottom lip, surged in her as he sucked the agitated flesh. Whether by accident or design, he goaded her with nothing more than his mouth. Delicious and heady, something decidedly too nice broke over her in a wave of absolute warmth. “InuYasha,” she whispered as her hands twisted around his haori. His answer was a shocking nip meant to silence her once more.

Her knees gave. He didn't notice. Cradled against him so tightly that she wasn't in danger of falling, he held her tight, supported her weight as his tongue flicked out against her lips, as a dangerous fire flared in her veins, as nerve endings shot off, one by one. The burn raged from her mouth to her brain and down her spine to center around the culminating ache deep inside her.

The breeze blew his hair into her face, tickling her with downy touches. Every part of her was listening to him, every bit of her waiting, wishing . . .

“That's why she smells like him,” a small voice said in a remarkably loud tone.

“Eww! What are they _doing?_ ”

Kagome gasped and jerked away from InuYasha only to come face to face with Shippou, who had his arms crossed over his chest and was tapping his foot impatiently, and Ichisaru, who looked duly aghast at what he had witnessed.

InuYasha's growl turned menacing as he faced the youkai children. “What the fuck do you mean, what are _they_ doing? You live with a damn lecher and you haven't seen this before?” he bellowed.

“It's expected from him,” Shippou remarked airily. “I'm surprised to see _you_ kiss anything . . .”

Shippou screamed and Ichisaru squealed as InuYasha lunged and caught them with a hand on their heads. “Shut up, Shippou! If you two go blabbing what you saw, I'll cut you up and feed you to Sesshoumaru's dragon!”

“InuYasha!” Kagome gasped, trying to intervene before serious bodily damage was dealt. “It's all right . . . they're just teasing . . .”

“I won't tell!” Shippou hollered quickly.

“I don't even know what I saw!” Ichisaru wailed.

InuYasha didn't look impressed. He pulled the children apart, intent clear. Before he could thump their heads together, Kagome hurriedly fished the candy bags out of her backpack and held them up. “Candy!” she yelled. “I'll give you this candy if you don't tell anyone anything!”

“All right!” two voices yelled.

“Come on, InuYasha . . . they won't tell . . .”

He didn't look like he wanted to cooperate but he finally let go and sat up. Shippou and Ichisaru nabbed the bags of candy and ran back toward the forest. “So . . . what _were_ they doing?” Ichisaru asked Shippou.

“Kissing.”

“Oh . . . I thought they were just trading scents . . .”

“Something like that . . .”

InuYasha growled again.

Kagome groaned.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Sesshoumaru strode through the forest following the faintest scent, the lingering remnants of the vile creature. ` _Hisadaicho . . . where do you hide?_ '

Amber eyes narrowing, Sesshoumaru scanned the foliage. Her very presence remained in her wake. ` _She passed through here recently_ _. . ._ _What is her plan?_ '

He stepped from the trees into the clearing, staring in slow recognition at this place he knew. ` _This is where_ . . .'

  
_Kagura sat in the field of flowers as she waited for the inevitable. Sadness mingled with a peace that Sesshoumaru hadn't understood at the time. Following the scent of Naraku's shouki, knowing that Kagura was the one he was trailing . . . and in the end, too late to do more than stay with her_.

  
_Tenseiga would not help her. Whet_ _her it was because she was born_ _of the evil or because it simply chose not to, the sting of betrayal that the almighty Sword of the Fang had ignored Sesshoumaru's will_ . . .

  
_And she said, her voice serene, “It's fine_ _. . ._ _In the end, I was with you.” With the last of her will, she gazed at him, her eyes saying all that she never had, her smile unjaded and pure. He watched as the miasma filled her body with the noxious toxins, helpless to offer her more than his presence as_ _her flesh_ _disintegrated in a fissure of light and wind, and he'd followed her feather in a vain hope_.

Sesshoumaru blinked away the remnants of the memory. Pulling the feather from his armor, he rolled it between his fingertips, remembering another time and another place . . . a Sesshoumaru too inflexible, too unyielding to admit, even to himself, what it was he truly desired. ` _Kagura . . . if I had agreed to help you gain your freedom from Naraku . . . would you still be . . . with me?_ '

The wind escalated, a strange force that came from every direction or maybe none at all. Hair whipping around in a frenzy, the feather slipped from his fingers. Sesshoumaru lifted his gaze, the truth in the action cutting through him. ` _She was never meant to be . . . and I . . . I was never meant to have her_.'

A familiar scent filled his nose, a familiar aura coming closer. Eyes widening as he stared, unable or unwilling to believe what it was he saw.

The feather had grown, become an airborne vehicle. Growing larger as it moved toward him, Sesshoumaru could only stare. Finally descending before she hopped down from it, the feather shrank as she caught it between her nimble fingers and stuck it into her hair. “Sesshoumaru . . . you waited for me.”

He shook his head, gaze narrowing as he took in everything that was her. She looked the same. She smelled the same. Even the glint in her magenta eyes was the same.

“. . . Kagura.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **shouki:** miasma-energy.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Sesshoumaru:**  
>  Finally! This Sexxhoumaru gets some action … ?  
> ==========


	42. Closer

 

~~ ** _Chapter 42_** ~~  
~ ** _Closer_** ~

 

“Ah, just the two we were hoping to see!” Miroku greeted as Kagome and InuYasha entered the hut. Marisaiko slept on a blanket beside her father. Kagome tried not to stare at her too long. Though she felt better since the night InuYasha had caught her with the vitamins, she didn't even try to convince herself that she was entirely over everything. “Did Shippou and Ichisaru find you?”

“Oh, uh, yeah . . . I gave them candy . . .”

Sango stirred the stew she was cooking on the fire. “I think they look forward to your trips home for the sweets you bring them,” she said with a laugh.

Kagome dug into her bag and retrieved the things she'd brought back for them. For Miroku, she'd brought some various treats that he hadn't sampled yet. For Sango, she'd brought some aromatherapy candles, hoping they'd help her since Marisaiko was still suffering colic. For Marisaiko, she'd brought soothing vapor bath that was supposed to help babies sleep.

“Thank you, Kagome,” Sango said as she popped the plastic bottle top open and sniffed the vapor bath. “Oh, that's nice!”

Miroku set his treats aside and grinned at InuYasha and Kagome. “Will you be leaving again soon?”

“Yeah. InuYasha wanted to hunt for the youkai again,” Kagome supplied.

“Ah . . . you know, Shippou has been saying of late how much he misses accompanying you both . . . why don't you take him this time?”

“Keh. Fat fucking chance. The kit is safer here,” InuYasha remarked.

“Safer . . . yes . . . of course,” Miroku agreed. “No . . . _other_ reasons . . . ?”

Kagome peeked back at InuYasha. The hanyou was staring over her head at the wall, studiously avoiding Miroku's gaze. “Should there be?”

“Not at all,” Miroku assured him. “InuYasha . . . can I see your talisman?”

InuYasha's eyes narrowed as he pulled the vial out of his undershirt. “Why?”

Miroku shook his head. “No . . . I need to hold it.”

“I don't think you do,” InuYasha snorted.

Miroku sighed and shrugged as his gaze shifted to Kagome. “Sorry, Kagome. I tried to help.”

Kagome felt her cheeks heat up as she caught InuYasha's suspicious glower. “I never—”

“What?” InuYasha bellowed.

“We're teasing, InuYasha!” Miroku insisted. “I'm sorry . . .”

“Keh! Fucking lecher!”

“Well, it is nice to know that you and Kagome seem to be closer,” Sango added. “We would be happy to hold the vial for you, for a night, if you want . . .”

“Oi, Sango! What the—?”

She waved a hand before her laughing face. “I'm sorry . . . it's just hard not to laugh about that . . . you have to admit, if you must suffer a toxin, this isn't exactly a horrible way to do it.”

Kagome stared at the floor, red-faced, wondering how hard she'd have to pray to get it to open up and swallow her.

“Keh! Speak for yourselves,” InuYasha shot back.

“Ah, poor innocent Kagome, subjected to InuYasha's dreams because of the blood bond . . .” Miroku lamented.

InuYasha choked as Kagome reddened a little more.

“Something wrong, InuYasha?” Sango asked as she glanced up from the stew.

“Nope, nothin',” he grumbled as he stomped back out the door.

“Can we talk about something else?” Kagome hollered.

Sango and Miroku exchanged raised-eyebrow expressions. “All right . . . what do you want to talk about?”

“Anything but that,” Kagome mumbled.

Ichisaru skittered into the hut followed closely by Shippou. Both had sticky fingers and faces, and Ichisaru was sucking on a banana flavored candy stick.

Miroku's eyes widened as he stared at the large bags of candy. “Uh . . . Kagome . . . you gave them both that much candy . . . at once?”

Ichisaru hopped up on Miroku's leg. “Yeah . . . she and InuYasha were rubbing their scent all over each other . . . so we promised not to say they were kis—um . . .”

“Kagome!” Shippou squealed. “Tell InuYasha that I didn't say it!”

Kagome stood up slowly and stalked toward the door, garnering as much dignity as she could muster—given the circumstances, it wasn't much.

Cringing as laughter echoed out of the hut in her wake, Kagome broke into a sprint as mortified color engulfed her face.

Running through the forest toward Goshinboku since she figured that was where InuYasha had taken refuge, Kagome didn't notice the approaching youkai until he stepped out of the trees and caught her by the shoulders to keep her from running him down. “Oi, Kagome . . . you all right?”

“Oh, uh, Kouga,” she stammered as she stepped back in retreat. “What are you doing here?”

He rolled his eyes, as though she ought to have known why he was there. “I came to get you, remember? I told you I'd be back.”

“But I—”

“I know, I know . . . I figured it out. You're afraid of that damn mutt. You don't have to be. He can't hurt you. I won't let him.”

She shook her head and retreated another step. “No, Kouga, that's not it, at all. I've never been afraid of him. I lo—”

“Damn you, Kouga . . . I thought I told you to stay the hell away from Kagome or I'd kill you,” InuYasha snarled as he dropped from a branch to land between Kagome and the wolf youkai. “Baka . . . you'll never learn, will you?”

“Get outta my way, InuYasha. It's time to take Kagome home with me . . . where she belongs.”

Kagome made a face, wishing once more that the stubborn youkai would listen for once instead of only listening to what he wanted to hear. “Kouga, I already told you, I—”

“Forget it, Kagome. He ain't gonna listen to you now if he's never listened to you before.” InuYasha dragged out Tetsusaiga and brandished it dangerously. “Now I suggest you back the hell off, Kouga.”

Kouga grimaced and cracked his knuckles. “I've had enough of you, InuYasha . . . what do you say we finish this?”

“Thought you'd never ask.”

“No!” Kagome screamed, darting around InuYasha and planting herself between the two. “Listen to me! I'm not going with you because I _want_ to stay here! I belong here, and I belong with InuYasha!”

For the first time ever, Kouga actually looked like he might have heard her. Kagome felt InuYasha's arm snake around her waist but didn't look down to confirm it. Glaring defiantly at the wolf youkai, she tried not to feel bad at the stunned sadness that flickered to life behind his blue eyes. Stepping back, Kouga finally nodded as a wan smile surfaced. “Is this really what you want, Kagome?”

“You heard her!” InuYasha snarled.

“I want to hear it from her, dog-shit!”

“Yes,” Kagome said quietly. “I'm sorry, Kouga. It's always been InuYasha.”

Kouga sighed then shrugged as his smile widened. There was still a lingering hurt in his gaze, and Kagome flinched. She didn't want to hurt him, but what else could she do? “Eh, can't blame me for trying, can you? I wish you luck, Kagome . . . with that fat-head, you'll need it.” He turned on his heel and started to walk back into the trees. “See you!”

Kagome didn't breathe until InuYasha relaxed behind her. ` _So it wasn't_ exactly _the way I wanted to tell him_ ,' she thought with an inward wince, ` _then again, he should have known already, shouldn't he?_ ' When she finally gathered the courage to face InuYasha, she bit her lip. Scowling down at her with an almost hostile light in his gaze, Kagome stepped back and braced herself for whatever he had to say.

“You could have told him that sooner, wench,” InuYasha pointed out mildly enough.

Kagome shook her head. “I couldn't have,” she admitted. “I tried before . . . I just never really knew how you felt . . . I still don't, not really.”

InuYasha stared at her a moment longer before snorting loudly and sweeping her off the ground as he sprinted toward Goshinboku. “Keh. Don't be stupid, Kagome.”

She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. ` _All right . . . so maybe I do have a better idea now_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“You don't believe it's me, do you?”

Staring at the woman he thought he'd never see again, Sesshoumaru didn't speak.

Kagura sank down in the grass, legs folded to her side. “Sit with me, Sesshoumaru?”

He did, slowly. Golden gaze piercing magenta as he tried to discern if she was really there. How could it be, after all this time?

Lips pursing in a moue, the troubled light in her expression touched him. “You don't believe I am who I claim to be? I can't blame you . . . it's been far too long, hasn't it?”

He shook his head. “Kagura . . . How did you come back?”

“I . . . don't know. I felt a tug on my soul, a voice that called me back, but I . . . I don't know where I was, and I don't know how I was returned.”

“And you saw no one?”

Shifting her gaze to meet his, she blinked as her eyebrows drew together in a frown. “No one . . . should I have?”

He didn't answer for a moment, the light of suspicion still in his gaze. “Let me see your back.”

She seemed confused at his simple request but lowered the back of her kimono, holding it closed over her chest.

“The mark . . . it is gone.”

Kagura shrugged the kimono back into place and shook her head. “Of course it is . . . Naraku is dead. I am not under his power any longer. I am . . . free . . .”

He didn't miss the slight hesitation in her words, the tenseness in the corners of her eyes. “I thought you wished for this freedom, Kagura. Do you tell me now that you do not?”

“I had freedom, Sesshoumaru. I had the freedom of the wind . . . what I didn't have was you.”

“I do not care to own you.”

“I didn't expect you would.” She sighed as she leaned back to stare at the sky. “Do you remember that day? When you came to me, I thought . . . I thought I was hallucinating. I didn't think you were real . . . Sesshoumaru, did you come to find me or were you simply searching for Naraku after all?”

Sesshoumaru's gaze followed hers skyward. “Do you think I lied simply to appease you?”

She smiled. “I hope not.”

He finally did, too, just a little. “This Sesshoumaru does not lie.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Think he'll come back?”

InuYasha snorted and rested his chin on Kagome's shoulder. “Not unless he wants Tetsusaiga embedded in his ass.”

“Is that all you ever think about? Shoving Tetsusaiga where it doesn't belong?”

He shot her one of those rare smiles that never failed to curl her toes. The added light in his gaze, the sparkle of unguarded amusement . . . ` _He really is amazing_ ,' she decided.

“Not the only thing, no . . . just when it comes to that fucking wolf or that bastard brother of mine.”

“You're really hopeless, you know.”

“Yeah . . . I tolerate you, too, wench.”

“Just tolerate me?”

“Don't push your luck.”

She heaved a dramatic sigh. “All right . . .”

“I don't get it,” InuYasha finally said, his voice gruff yet soft.

“Get what?”

He sighed. His breath tickled her neck, and she giggled. “How could the jewel have picked up this evil aura? It don't make sense.”

Kagome frowned. “It doesn't really make sense to me, either.” Making a face, loathe to suggest what she was thinking, she drew a deep breath before hesitantly saying, “We could go back to the village and ask Kaede and Miroku.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! I'd rather die wondering, thanks.”

“Ah, look, Sango . . . what kinds of birds do you think those are?”

“Are you two coming back to the village tonight?” Sango asked, ignoring Miroku's teasing commentary.

“Wasn't planning on it,” InuYasha answered evenly before whispering to Kagome, “Ignore `em, wench, and they'll go away.”

Kagome rolled her eyes. “I doubt it, and they're our friends.”

“Keh! They're your friends. I just tolerate them.”

“Like you tolerate me?”

“You're a little more useful than they are.”

“'Useful', how?”

“Wait till they leave, and I'll tell you.”

“I don't think I like the sound of that.”

“Keh! Shut up or they'll never leave.”

“I might not have hanyou ears, but I can still hear you, InuYasha,” Miroku called up.

“Good . . . then you know I want you to fucking leave,” InuYasha shot back.

“Ah, then you shall miss my pearls of wisdom.”

InuYasha turned to stare at Kagome with a meaningful lifting of his eyebrow. “Can I shove _those_ up his ass?”

“InuYasha!” she giggled.

“Did you find out anything else from Old Seer?” Miroku asked, deciding that he'd dealt enough teasing for one day.

A rather nasty smile surfaced on the hanyou's face. “Well, gee, I dunno, Miroku . . . why don't you go ask her, yourself?”

“I suppose I deserved that . . . but you know, for the record, if you did entrust me with the talisman then I'm sure you'd both have very, very sweet dreams.”

“Did she say any more about this evil aura?” Sango broke in to stave off whatever retort InuYasha was thinking of.

“Not a damn thing,” InuYasha admitted.

“It doesn't make sense, though. No one else has been near the jewel. Kagome's always had it,” Miroku added thoughtfully.

InuYasha sat up quickly. Kagome squealed as he forced her to sit up, too. “You could warn me when you're going to do that,” she remarked, loosening her hold on his sleeve.

“Keh! There was someone else who had it . . .” InuYasha said slowly.

Kagome shook her head. “No, there wasn't . . .”

“Think, wench. A certain someone who took the jewel and ran off with it?”

Kagome gasped, eyes widening as she shook her head quickly. “No . . . InuYasha, he's just . . . it _can't_ be . . .”

Miroku caught on and shook his head, too. “I agree with Kagome . . . he's too young . . . he can't have done anything to it.”

“He's harmless!” Sango insisted. “He's just a child.”

“Child or not, Ichisaru is the only one who's had the jewel away from Kagome,” InuYasha maintained.

“But we couldn't purify the jewel before he came along, InuYasha. It can't be him!” Kagome countered, unwilling to believe that Ichisaru did anything to the jewel.

Miroku rubbed his forehead. “Kagome, has he tried to get near the jewel since that day?”

Kagome thought it over. “No . . . not since he did that monkey shake thing . . .”

“That's his youkai vow,” Sango added. “Even a child as young as he is would understand what that means. It's instinctive.”

InuYasha still didn't look convinced. “Well, something had to have gotten a-hold of the jewel. If it wasn't the ape-shit then who?”

Unfortunately, no one else had an answer for that, either.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagura:**  
>  To be free . . .


	43. Myouga

 

~~ ** _Chapter 43_** ~~  
~ ** _Myouga_** ~

 

Kagome stretched, arching her back as she groaned. “InuYasha, I was thinking . . .”

InuYasha peeked down from his treetop perch. “About what?”

Kagome shrugged, dropping her arms to her sides as she wandered over to the tree trunk. “Oh, about a lot of things . . .”

Unsure if he wanted to hear where she was going with this, InuYasha remained silent as he waited for her to go on.

“I was just wondering . . . if we find this youkai, should you just kill her?”

“What? Of course I should. Why shouldn't I?”

She shrugged again. “If she's gone to the trouble of doing all this . . . infecting Kouga and all . . . do you think she has a plan?”

“Keh. Who the hell cares? If I kill her then she can't do anything else, either.”

“Maybe . . .”

He hopped down out of the tree and stood before her, arms crossed over his chest as he stared at her. “Spit it out. What's really on your mind?”

Kagome twisted her fingers together and forced a smile. “Nothing . . . I just . . . I keep thinking, what if there is something that we're missing? Something we should know but haven't seen . . .”

“Like what?”

Kagome's eyebrows drew together as she considered his question. “I don't know . . .”

InuYasha wrinkled his nose. “We've been over this, wench. There's nothing else.”

She shook her head. “But—”

He scooped her up and leapt back into the tree again. “You're worrying over nothing, you know. Once I take care of her, she won't be a problem, will she?”

Kagome didn't seem convinced. Heaving a sigh, she craned her neck back to stare up at him. “If you think so . . .” She shook her head slowly and stared at him, her eyes troubled, questioning. “InuYasha . . . do you really think it was Ichisaru . . . ? He's too young. He can't do something like that . . .”

InuYasha sighed. “I don't know . . . he didn't have the jewel long enough to do anything, did he?”

“No . . . just a few minutes, really, and I saw him the whole time. He just ran with it.”

“Well, someone had to have gotten it, if it wasn't him, right?”

Kagome shook her head again. “No one has, though.”

InuYasha nodded. “No one but us.”

“Yeah. Miroku and Sango never touched it, did they?”

InuYasha considered that. At the end of the battle, Kagome was the one who had retrieved the jewel. She was the only one who touched it while the others watched her purify it back to its pink glow. He had touched it but . . .

` _Filthy hanyou, vile half-breed_ . . .'

Eyes widening, InuYasha stared over the trees. A thought filtered into his mind, a vicious whisper that he couldn't ignore. ` _Could I . . . did I . . . taint it?_ '

Kagome leaned away. He could feel her gaze on him. “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing.”

“That's not true.”

He shook his head stubbornly. “It ain't important.”

“You have that look on your face, the same one you got when we were trying to find Naraku. Why?”

He sighed, letting his gaze drop to the darkness below. “What if . . . I . . . I held it.”

She gasped as she turned, grabbing his hair and forcing him to look at her. “That's not even possible, InuYasha. You didn't do a thing to the jewel.”

He refused to look at her, his eyebrows drawing together as the stubborn set to his jaw argued with her.

“No, you had nothing to do with that. Don't even think that. Do you hear me?”

“It's impossible not to hear you, wench,” he grumbled.

“Good! Because you didn't do a thing to it!”

“How do you know that?”

She let go of his hair and cupped his face in her hands. “Because I know _you_ , InuYasha. You gave up your wish to be full youkai when you learned what it meant for you. Since that day you attacked the bandits, you've never wanted it, have you? I know what's inside you, and it's good and pure. You can't have tainted the jewel. It wasn't you.”

He digested her words in silence. ` _She believes . . . even when I don_ _'_ _t_ . . .' With a heavy sigh, InuYasha let the subject drop. “Keh! Think about something else, can't you?”

She grinned, obviously relieved that he seemed to have heard what she said, and she turned around and sat back, resting against InuYasha's chest once more. “Like what?”

“Gee . . . I dunno, Kagome . . . can't you think of something more interesting?”

“Hmm, no . . . nothing . . .” she teased

Resting his chin on her shoulder, InuYasha leaned forward far enough that she could see him twitch his ears. “Nothing?”

“Oh? You'll let me rub your ears?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Does it mean you'll shut up for a few minutes?”

She giggled louder. “Maybe,” she allowed as she twisted to latch onto his ears.

“Here, before I forget,” InuYasha said, dangling the vial over her shoulder as he leaned toward her more, granting her easier access to his ears.

Kagome held up the vial and stared at it thoughtfully. “What happens if one of us forgets?”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. Don't shake it, and you'll find out.”

She peeked at him and caught his disgruntled expression. “I was just curious,” she remarked as she shook the vial ten times.

He shook it, too. “Your curiosity has gotten us into more trouble than I like to think about, wench.”

Kagome sighed but snuggled closer to him. “Are you going to let me fall asleep up here?”

InuYasha shook his head. “Not if you keep talking.”

She smiled as she closed her eyes, safe in his arms.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha stared up at the stars in the sky high above. The darkness of the night resonated in his heart, in his head. Kagome slept, nestled comfortably between his raised knees with the fire rat haori draped over her. Her cheek was pressed to his heart, and the satisfaction of having her so close was a heady yet wholly gratifying thing.

She sighed happily, and InuYasha stared down at her. Was it just his imagination or did she really seem more content when she slept so close to him? He smiled just a little. Maybe . . . maybe she really was.

He carefully pulled the haori up to cover her arms. Her hands, tucked under her cheek, were warm enough but her upper arms seemed a little cold. She sighed again and moved her left arm, as though she were trying to make herself a little more comfortable, which would have been fine, except . . .

He gasped as his eyes widened. She was definitely still asleep, but her hand was in a place that would absolutely prevent him from doing the same. Wincing as the heat from her hand permeated the fire rat hakama, InuYasha froze as every single fiber of his being screamed at him to wake her up. ` _And do what, baka? Have her embarrassed the rest of the night? she_ _'_ _d fall out of the fucking tree, trying to get away . . . no . . . that_ _'_ _s no good_ . . .' Still . . . a low whine escaped as his body reacted to her touch. ` _Damn it! Move her hand, stupid!_ '

“Uh, yeah,” he muttered, cheeks reddening as he slowly, carefully, pulled her wrist and brought her hand to his stomach . . . a relatively safe zone, he figured.

As luck would have it, Kagome yawned but didn't wake, and dragged her hand right back to where it had started. He grimaced as his ears flatted and another whine escaped. There wasn't a change in her scent. He could tell she was definitely sleeping, and she wasn't having ecchi dreams. Of all the places for her to decide to put her hand, though . . . He whined again.

` _Fuck! I_ _'_ _m damned! Someone cursed me! Probably that fucking Miroku_ _. . ._ _Keh!_ _`_ _Let me see the talisman_ _'_ _. . ._ _If he did something, I swear, I_ _'_ _ll shove Tetsusaiga so far up his ass he_ _'_ _ll_ _—_ _Eh?_ '

Eyes widening even more, InuYasha nearly shot off the branch when Kagome's fingers started flexing over him. Her hand that was still pressed against his chest was doing the same, and he groaned. ` _Oh, kami, she can_ _'_ _t . . . hell, she is! She_ _'_ _s still sleeping! What the hell is she doing? Is she part cat youkai?_ ' Gritting his teeth as he grabbed her left hand once more, InuYasha ignored the tiny voice in his head that wanted him to leave her hand right where it was. Moving her hand up once more, he winced. ` _If she moves it back again, I_ _'_ _m waking her up, damn it_ . . .'

It seemed that luck was on his side now, though, because she didn't move her hand again. Willing his body to settle down, though, was something entirely different, and InuYasha grimaced again as he tried to shift on the branch to alleviate some of the strain he was feeling.

Ten minutes of fidgeting did nothing to aid his plight, and InuYasha heaved a disgusted sigh as he tried in vain to think about something other than the woman in his arms who was much, much to close. As though his perception of every single thing about her was heightened in this state, he couldn't escape her scent—the pleasant smell of her soaps and shampoo . . . the warmth of her body against his. ` _Damn it, baka! Think of something else . . . Sesshoumaru . . . yeah . . . think about that bastard . . . nothing remotely Kagome about him_ . . .'

And it was working, sort of. As long as he concentrated on something other than Kagome and her proximity, his body was starting to relax. ` _Keh! Who ever thought that bastard would be good for anything?_ '

A sharp pain in his neck made him react before he considered. Slapping hard, InuYasha heard a grunt, a groan, and saw a flea fall away in his palm. “Myouga! Where the hell did you come from?”

“Just . . . in the neighborhood, InuYasha-sama . . .” the flea moaned.

“Keh. What do you want?”

Myouga sat up and hopped off InuYasha's hand to light on his knee instead. “Want? Nothing, nothing . . . tell me . . . do you and Kagome-sama often sleep in the trees . . . together?”

Fighting back the furious blush that rose to his cheeks, InuYasha snorted. “Shut up, Myouga, or I'll really flatten you.”

Myouga scooted back but crossed his arms and nodded. “Have you had any luck finding the butterfly youkai?”

“No,” InuYasha allowed grudgingly.

Myouga sighed. “I thought as much.” Deliberately taking his time as he cracked open his eyes and schooled his features to an innocence that InuYasha knew was absolutely faked. “So . . . have you seen Sesshoumaru-sama of late?”

“Keh! No . . . why?”

Myouga shrugged. “Nothing, really . . . just a rumor on the wind . . .”

InuYasha narrowed his gaze on the flea youkai. “What rumor?”

“I heard . . . could it be that Kagura was somehow resurrected?”

“Kagura? What?”

“I . . . heard . . . that the wind sorceress Kagura has been returned to her body . . .”

InuYasha shook his head. “She died . . . her body disintegrated . . . she can't be . . .”

Myouga rubbed his hands together as his gaze shifted to Kagome's cheek. “And now that I've shared the information I have, what say you to a little—”

“Do it and die, parasite,” InuYasha snarled, catching the look that the youkai was giving the girl.

Myouga heaved a sigh, shaking his head sadly. “Ah, the life of a flea . . .”

“Save it. You drank some of my blood, so that's good enough.”

Myouga nodded as a dreamy smile lit his features. “Yes, yes I . . .” he suddenly trailed off as he narrowed his gaze on the hanyou. “InuYasha-sama . . .”

“What?”

“Your blood . . . tastes . . . different.”

“Different, how?”

Myouga made a face. “Different like your father's did . . . just before he took your mother as his mate.”

Red hot flames shot to the surface of InuYasha's face as he turned his head away. “Dunno what you're talkin' about.”

Myouga winced. InuYasha saw it out of the corner of his eye and braced himself for whatever it was the flea was reluctant to say. Stubbornly refusing to ask, InuYasha waited impatiently for the youkai to spit it out.

“There are a few things you should know, InuYasha-sama . . . things your father asked me to tell you when you were old enough . . .”

Turning his face back just a little, InuYasha still refused to ask.

Obviously uncomfortable in telling InuYasha whatever it was that was on his mind, Myouga hedged a little before clearing his throat and scooting back just a little more. “Uh . . . um . . . when you get around to claiming . . . your mate . . . you need to know when _not_ to do it.”

“I don't think I like where you're going with this,” InuYasha interrupted, positioning his fingers to flick the flea into the night.

Myouga waved his hands frantically to stave off the impending flickage. “Just hear me out! Your father wanted you to know this!”

InuYasha rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh but lowered his fingers—for the moment.

Satisfied that he wasn't about to set off on an unexpected trip, Myouga sat back down and took a moment to gather his thoughts. “There are two times each lunar cycle when you can produce a child,” he blurted. “On the night of the new moon, when you're human, you would produce a human child with Kagome-sama.”

“ _What?_ ”

“And on the night of the full moon when your youkai blood rises, then you would produce a hanyou child, like yourself.”

InuYasha opened his mouth to say something—anything—but nothing would come out. He tried again. And again. And again. Still nothing. Face washed in crimson color, the hanyou kept opening his mouth only to close it again as speech failed him.

“So anyway, that's what I needed to tell you,” Myouga stated as he hopped to his feet. “Bye!”

“Wait!” InuYasha hissed, recovering his voice at last as he managed to catch the scurrying flea. Bringing Myouga up to eye level, InuYasha glared at the youkai, held between his thumb and index finger. “Why didn't you tell me all this when Kikyou—”

“Because Kikyou was never meant to be your mate! You know this . . . You're not going to squish me now, are you?”

InuYasha winced inwardly. ` _How could Myouga have known that? I thought she was . . . I wanted her to be, at the time_ . . .' Applying just enough pressure to the flea to make the youkai sweat, InuYasha wasn't done tormenting him, not by a long shot. “And you didn't think this might be a little more important to have told me before?” he snarled quietly.

“Well, uh . . . there never really seemed to be a good time, no, and—”

InuYasha's sharp gasp cut Myouga off. The flea looked duly befuddled as InuYasha's embarrassment increased. ` _Damn! No . . . fuck!_ ' he thought wildly as Kagome's hand slipped back to the one place that he didn't want it to be at the moment. “Get the hell out of here, Myouga, and next time, you'd better not spring anything as stupid as this on me!” he growled, hurling the youkai into the night. A cautious glance down at the sleeping girl confirmed his initial thoughts. She was still sleeping, and he really must have been cursed . . .

Gritting his teeth as he tried to forget what Myouga had said as well as ignore the return of the inescapable results of Kagome's innocent touch, he sighed and pulled her hand back up once more, only this time, he held onto her fingers to keep them in place.

` _Hell_ ,' he thought with a very deep breath, ` _this night ain_ _'_ _t never gonna end_ . . .'

Sometimes he hated being right.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha stomped through the forest with a dark glower on his face as Kagome chattered happily. “It's a beautiful day, InuYasha! Look! The sakura trees are blossoming!”

He snorted in reply and kept walking.

She stretched. “I slept so well last night! I can't remember getting a better night's rest!”

That earned her a sidelong glare as the oddly quiet InuYasha kept his opinion to himself.

“Did you sleep all right?”

InuYasha grumbled something that Kagome didn't catch.

Running around him to look into his face, Kagome narrowed her gaze. “What did you mumble?”

To her surprise, his face reddened. “Nothing.”

“That doesn't look like a `nothing' expression,” she argued. “You didn't sleep well?”

“No, I didn't,” he answered tersely. “Now drop it.”

“Okay,” she agreed slowly.

Come to think of it, he'd been in quite a mood all morning. She wasn't sure why. When she woke this morning, he had been quietly staring at the rising sun. She loved the way his eyes shone in the light, the way the gold seemed to churn and flow. He held her hand, and she squeezed it to let him know she was awake. He smiled wanly as he looked at her, then kissed her forehead before scooping her up and dropping out of the tree with her.

Stifling a sigh as she fell in step beside him, Kagome snuck a peek at him only to see that his scowl hadn't diminished at all. “Why are we going this way?” she finally asked. They had been heading north but he'd altered his direction this morning.

InuYasha shrugged. “I heard something last night . . . Myouga showed up.”

Kagome frowned. “Myouga? What did he have to say?”

To her amazement, InuYasha's face reddened a little more. “He said he'd heard something strange . . . that Kagura has been brought back to life.”

“Kagura?” Kagome gasped. “But how?”

“That's what I want to find out.”

They walked along in silence for awhile. InuYasha's mood seemed to be worsening by the moment. Kagome's frown deepened. She finally stopped, laying a hand on InuYasha's arm to stop him, too. “InuYasha? Did I do something wrong?”

He looked surprised by her question and shook his head slowly. “Keh. What could you have done?”

She shook her head. “I don't know . . .”

“I just have a lot on my mind. That's all.”

“All right,” she said though her tone was tinged with doubt. They started walking again. This time, when Kagome peeked at him, his expression was a little less foreboding even if he did look like something still bothered him. She sighed. ` _What are you thinking, InuYasha?_ ' Trying to brush off his silence, Kagome stared at the trees above. “Did Myouga have anything else to say?”

InuYasha shrugged. “Nothing important,” he hedged just before he caught her hand to drag her onto his back. Breaking into a sprint, he pushed off the ground to sail above the trees.

Kagome giggled, savoring the feeling of freedom that came with his movements. Settling herself comfortably against him, she rested her cheek on his shoulder, content just to be near him. He glanced back at her and smiled. She didn't see the smile but she did feel the soft rumble vibrating through his chest as she snuggled closer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Myouga:**  
>  That was strange … InuYasha-sama seemed a bit anxious to be rid of me …


	44. Kagura

 

~~ ** _Chapter 44_** ~~  
~ ** _Kagura_** ~

 

“Are you going to be Sesshoumaru-sama's mate?”

Kagura quickly glanced up from the flowers she'd been eyeing to see the little girl's cautiously hopeful expression. Rin sat down in the grass beside her and blinked as she waited for an answer. “Perhaps you ought to ask Sesshoumaru that,” she answered carefully.

Rin shrugged. “I did. He said that it was up to you.”

“He did?”

Rin nodded.

Kagura forced a smile. “We'll see . . .” she answered, hoping that the precocious child would leave it at that.

“It would make him happy, I think,” Rin went on. “Then he won't be lonely . . . and you won't leave us, right?”

The thin smile thinned a little more. “He's lonely?”

Rin plucked a flower and stuck it into her hair. “He doesn't say he's lonely but sometimes he just stares off at the trees like he's looking for something,” she commented. “Sometimes he doesn't talk for days.”

Kagura didn't respond to that. Somehow the idea that Sesshoumaru might be lonely . . . it hurt.

“But he likes you, I can tell,” Rin continued as a faint trace of yearning lit in her gaze. “He said . . . he said you could teach me how to be a lady . . . can you? I mean, would you?”

Kagura winced inwardly. ` _To make a promise . . . ? Can I . . . do that?_ ' Brightening her wan smile, Kagura reached out, smoothed the hair back off of Rin's face. “I think you already are one.”

Rin smiled happily. “Would you like to see my new summer kimono? Sesshoumaru-sama had it made just for me!”

“Of course,” Kagura agreed as Rin hopped up and ran off toward the castle.

Her smile faded as the quiet words came back to her. ` _You aren't free to do as you will. You were reborn to serve me. You know what you must do_.'

` _I would have rather remained as the wind_ ,' she thought as she closed her eyes. ` _I cannot_ . . .' Lifting her gaze as she felt the strange sensation that she was being watched, Kagura's eyes met Sesshoumaru's. Standing alone just outside the doors, the light in his amber stare penetrating her skull, her mind commanded, ` _Then run, Kagura . . . fly away . . . you cannot do this! You mustn't!_ '

Yet even as she thought this, the traitorous body she'd been given stood, slowly ambled over to the tai-youkai. The smile on her face was not her own, the hand that reached out to touch his arm was not her flesh. “I spoke with Rin,” she heard herself saying, the same smooth, calm voice she recognized was hers and yet was not. “Do you wish for me to stay?”

` _Send me away, Sesshoumaru! Tell me to leave, because I can't . . . please!_ '

He considered her question for several moments, gazing at her and then looking away. “I thought to never see you again, Kagura. I thought you'd slipped through my fingers that day . . .” Eyes narrowed, searching her face for traces of the truth, he pulled his arm away only to touch her cheek. “Stay, if it pleases you.”

Her heart leapt at his words and yet a part of it shrank, too. She opened her mouth, tried to tell him about Hisadaicho's plot, about the plan that Kagura wanted no part of. Her mind and her body were separated. The words that came weren't the ones that she wanted to say. “It pleases me to be with you, Sesshoumaru . . .”

And he smiled.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Was Myouga sure it was Kagura?” Kagome asked as InuYasha dropped a pile of firewood.

“That's what he said.”

“But how? We saw her . . . she died . . .” Kagome said for the fiftieth time of the day.

InuYasha sighed and hunkered down to start the fire. “I know what we saw, wench. What I don't know is how, so it ain't doing you a damn bit of good to keep asking me.”

She was about to comment again when a strange presence made her look around cautiously. “InuYasha?”

He stood up slowly, smelling exactly what Kagome had sensed. “Stay back. I'll take care of it.”

She nodded and scooted back out of the way, grabbing her bow and arrows, as InuYasha stomped forward. “Come out, vermin. I know you're there.”

Kagome gasped as low growls announced the arrival of three youkai. The sing-song wails made her wince, and Kagome watched in horror as the tiger youkai surrounded InuYasha.

“You're the one known as InuYasha, aren't you? The hanyou who defeated Naraku?” the one male asked, a hint of a smirk on his tiger-striped face.

“Yeah, so?”

“Where is the Shikon no Tama?” one of the females demanded as she flexed her needle-like claws.

“Where you'll never touch it,” InuYasha growled.

“The girl has it,” the other female added, her green gaze resting on Kagome.

Kagome drew an arrow and nocked it back.

The male laughed. “Aw, the pretty miko wants to play . . . take care of her while I deal with the hanyou.”

InuYasha dragged Tetsusaiga out of the scabbard and held it at the ready. “I'd like to see you try. No one threatens Kagome!”

In a blinding flash of moment, one of the females lunged at Kagome. She fired the arrow, and the youkai screeched as she exploded in a violent shower of pink sparks. InuYasha brought down Tetsusaiga. “ _Kaze no Kizu!_ ” he bellowed as the rush of flames shot toward the other female. With a hiss of rage as she dove out of the way, the tiger avoided the blast and headed for Kagome.

The male yowled at InuYasha and leapt. He caught the youkai with Tetsusaiga's blade and shoved him away before dashing over to intercept the female before she could reach Kagome. The female caught InuYasha's haori and ripped the sleeve. “Run, Kagome!” InuYasha hollered.

Kagome already was. The female pushed off the ground, landing in front of Kagome. She couldn't stop herself in time as she crashed into the youkai. “InuYasha!” she shrieked as the youkai's arms locked around her.

Glancing back at Kagome, InuYasha uttered a loud curse as he swung Tetsusaiga at the oncoming male. The blade sliced through his stomach, and he screamed in pain and rage. The familiar smell of Kagome's blood hit his nose just as her soft whimper boomed in his ears. Before he thought about it, he ran after the female. Her claws sank a little deeper into Kagome's side, and despite her effort not to make a sound, InuYasha heard the pained gasp.

Eyes widening with fear, Kagome struggled against the female tiger despite the sinking claws. “InuYasha! Watch out!”

The warning came too late. The male caught InuYasha's hip with his claws as he leapt to intercept the hanyou. InuYasha spun away with a sharp hiss as the youkai's claws tore through his hakama and into his hip. Ignoring the explosion of pain, InuYasha staggered forward. “ _Kagome!_ ”

“Stupid dog! Don't you know when to stay down?” the male youkai taunted as he shot forward again.

InuYasha spun around, raising Tetsusaiga just in time to catch the youkai in mid-air. A heavy gurgle, the wet tearing of flesh as the tiger youkai impaled himself on the blade, InuYasha wrenched the hilt as blood poured from the wound, down the hilt, down his arm. The youkai burst in a cloud of dust, and InuYasha turned to face the remaining youkai. “Let her go,” he demanded, the words no less forceful with the softness of his voice.

“I'm not so foolish,” the female hissed. Kagome winced as the youkai's arm tightened.

“Foolish or not, you'll be just as dead.”

The tiger laughed. “Think so? I hold the girl, and she is obviously special to you . . . tainted though you are . . .”

“I'd rather be tainted than be like you,” InuYasha growled. “Now let her go.”

“Give me the jewel, miko,” the youkai demanded. “Your pretty puppy can't help you now, so you might as well hand it over.”

Kagome closed her eyes and slowly lifted her hand. InuYasha opened his mouth to tell her not to do it, but when she opened her eyes again, he saw it in the depths of her stare. She wasn't afraid, and she wasn't about to hand over the jewel, either.

Slowly, as though she really was going to retrieve the jewel from under her blouse, Kagome's hand locked over the youkai's arm, and in a blast of pink light, the youkai was thrown back. Kagome stumbled forward when she was released. InuYasha caught her, steadied her, then shoved her behind his back before he raised Tetsusaiga and unleashed the Wind Scar in another flash of flames. “ _Kaze no Kizu!_ ”

This time the flames hit their target, and the youkai's screams lingered well after the wind had scattered her ashes.

Heaving a sigh, InuYasha dropped Tetsusaiga into the scabbard before turning to face Kagome. “Let me see,” he demanded.

“Let me take care of you, first,” she countered. “I'm fine. Just scratches.”

“Keh! Don't argue with me, human wench! Now let me see.”

“Human wench?” she echoed. “Funny, dog-boy. You first.”

InuYasha ended the argument by lifting her up and carrying her over to a large log. Dragging over her backpack, he winced as he knelt down and gently pushed aside the torn fabric of her blouse, ignoring her protests as he wiped away the blood with one of her crisp white kerchiefs.

He made quick work of patching up her side with a very large bandage and a lot of medical tape despite Kagome's assurances that a few small bandages would work just fine. After taking a moment to survey his handiwork, he snorted and slowly rubbed the bandage with his thumb.

“What?” she teased, catching the slight dusting of pink in his cheeks. “No kiss this time?”

The dusting turned into more of a mottling, but rising to her challenge, he leaned forward and quickly pressed a kiss on the bandage before sitting back with another grimace that he couldn't hide.

Kagome's giggling died away as she remembered that he was hurt, too. She scooted off the log and slowly reached out to examine the torn hakama and the lacerated flesh beneath. Sucking in her breath, she glanced up at him, her eyes clouded with concern. “I need to clean that,” she told him apologetically, since she knew she'd never be able to do it without it hurting him even more. “Those are deep.”

“Keh. They're fine. I'll just go soak in the pond.”

Kagome shook her head. “You won't. There are bacteria in that water. You'll get an infection, and you've lost a lot of blood.”

“Forget it, wench. It's fine. They'll be healed by morning.”

“InuYasha—”

“No!”

“But—”

“No!”

“It'll get infected, and—”

“And what? You want I should just drop my fucking hakama right here?”

She rolled her eyes. “Not like that, baka! Let me clean your wounds!”

InuYasha growled.

Kagome dug out her bedroll and spread it out. “Now lie down so I can look at those.”

“I'd rather not,” he grumbled.

Her expression turned menacing, and InuYasha flattened his ears. She didn't get that look often, but he knew from experience that once he did, it was nearly impossible to argue with her. “Fine,” he snarled as he flopped down on the blankets. Propping his cheek on his raised hand, InuYasha tried really hard not to blush, and not to think about exactly what Kagome was touching.

After a minute of fiddling with the ripped fabric before she realized what InuYasha had already figured out, Kagome sighed and sat back on her heels. “Uh, InuYasha?”

“I told you, I'm fine,” he snarled, fighting down a rising blush.

“No, I've got to clean them . . . you've got little bits of tiger fur in the cuts, and . . . um . . . you need to . . . untie your . . . pants,” she squeaked, staring up at the sky as her own face blossomed in embarrassed color.

“Fucking hell,” he muttered as he slowly sat up and untied his hakama. Pure irritation had nearly made him demand that, if she was that set on cleaning his wounds that she could damn well do it herself. Unfortunately, that would also mean that her hands would be really close to parts of him that she really ought to stay away from since he couldn't quiet seem to get last night out of his head, either.

Untying his hakama, however, was about the most he was willing to give, and so having accomplished that, he stretched out once more and tried to think of something else to preoccupy himself. ` _Kouga . . . and that thing . . . whatever he mated_ . . .' InuYasha thought with a somewhat smug grin—until he realized just who Kouga thought he had mated, and that was more than enough to wipe the smile right back off his face. ` _Bastard . . . I ought to shove Tetsusaiga up his ass just on principle_ . . .'

Wincing as Kagome gingerly pulled the waist of his hakama down to expose the torn flesh, InuYasha tried again. ` _Sesshoumaru . . . and that nasty imp of his . . . what the hell does he do with him, anyway . . . ? Oi, bad image_ . . .'

“Um . . . InuYasha?”

“What, wench, what?”

Kagome made a strangled sort of sound, and InuYasha finally looked at her. Staring at her hands again, cheeks cherry-red, she waved a finger toward him and sighed. “You . . . have to . . . take those off, too.”

“Wha—Oh, hell, no,” he growled as he looked to see what she was talking about. The only thing left there was his loin cloth and there wasn't a chance in hell he was taking that off. “Work around it, if you have to,” he grumbled.

She sighed again. “You'll have to, anyway . . . it's soaked with blood,” she pointed out a little too reasonably.

“Oi! I'm not a fucking pup!”

“Well, I'm not too thrilled about this either, but I've got to clean it! Just do it!” She stood up. “Here . . . I won't watch. Just get under the blanket, okay?”

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that he absolutely wasn't going to do it. His ears flattened. If he said that, though, he also knew that she'd insist, and then she'd holler, and then she'd yell. With a few more choice curses, all loud enough for her to hear, he stripped off his clothing from the waist down and got under the blanket. “There,” he growled. “Just get it over with, will you?”

Kagome peeked back over her shoulder, as though she didn't trust InuYasha to be completely covered. He was covered, all right, from head to toe with a nice, bright red flush.

Very slowly she knelt back down. Very, very slowly, she pulled the edge of the blanket down, trying not to uncover things that, in her mind and his, were better left covered. It seemed to him that she took an extraordinarily long time cleaning out the cuts, using her fingernails when the cloth failed to get the debris out of the wounds. That he knew she was being as gentle as she could didn't keep it from hurting anyway, and he gasped a few times and winced a bit more as she thoroughly cleaned each one.

With mumbled apologies and winces of her own, InuYasha relaxed just a little. ` _She hates doing this_ ,' he thought. He hadn't realized that before. It wasn't that she hated tending his injuries, he supposed. She hated to cause him more pain, and that thought was enough to relieve much of the tension he was experiencing.

She took extra care in applying the bandages and when she stopped moving for a second, he finally glanced over at her. Sitting back on her heels with the roll of medical tape in her hands, she was staring thoughtfully at his hip—-at least, that's where he thought she was staring—with a frown of concentration and a rapidly darkening flush.

“Something wrong?” he managed to ask in a neutral tone of voice.

She jumped, as if she didn't realize he was staring at her, and bit her bottom lip. “I-I-I can't figure out how to tape this,” she stammered. Gesturing at him with her mouth open, she struggled to figure out a way to state the problem. “You-you've-your hair,” she finally blurted as her face took on a shade of red that really shouldn't have been possible.

When he realized just what she was talking about, though, he felt his skin racing to catch up with hers in shade. “Keh.”

Turning her head from side to side as she considered the problem further, she finally managed, “Maybe it would be all right if I just tape from, uh . . . top to bottom.”

“Kami, wench, just hurry it up, will you?” he snarled.

She did and sat back before gasping very loudly. InuYasha wasn't sure he wanted to see what the problem was this time. When he did, he spat a few curses as he snatched the blanket and dragged it up onto his chest. The blanket had slipped, nearly uncovering him completely, and Kagome . . .

He frowned. ` _That . . . that_ can't _be right_ . . .'

Daring a peek at her face once more, InuYasha blinked in surprise. Though she was staring at the first aid kit she was busy repacking, the change in her scent was unmistakable. He knew that scent, damned if he didn't. It was the same one she woke up with the night they'd forgotten to shake the vial . . . and she had been staring at him without a trace of disgust or even a hint that he didn't please her—just the opposite, if the change in her scent meant anything at all . . .

“Well, there you go!” she remarked in a forced-cheerful tone. “See? It wasn't so . . . bad.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to disabuse her of that stupid notion. Another thought passed through his mind, and he latched on. “You're done?” he asked, carefully keeping his tone nonchalant.

“Yep, all done,” she answered.

“You're not,” he countered.

Kagome dropped the kit into the bag and finally looked at him. “I'm not?”

He shook his head. “You didn't—”

Eyes widening as she seemed to catch onto what he was about to say, Kagome shook her head quickly, almost violently. “Oh, no . . .”

“—kiss it,” he finished.

For a second he thought she was going to either hit him or cry, or both. Gaze narrowing on him as he struggled to keep his expression blank, she squared her shoulders and pulled the blanket back down enough to uncover his bandaged hip. Before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned forward and down, kissing the bandage before she whipped the blanket back into place and turned away to stack the firewood.

InuYasha was the one who grimaced, then flinched as he lay motionless. On the one hand, he ought to get his damn hakama back on before he did something really stupid, like reach for her and drag her over to him. On the other hand . . . well . . . there was a very noticeable problem that she'd see if he weren't careful . . .

` _Damn, baka . . . just what the hell were you thinking?_ '

He shook his head slowly, wincing as a completely different kind of pain shot through him. ` _Maybe I ought to see one of those `head doctors' in Kagome's time, because I think I'm losing my mind_ ,' he thought ruefully. He should have known that goading her into kissing anything that close to certain other parts wasn't a good idea. He should have, and he probably did. Somehow, the common sense part of his brain had apparently stopped functioning, and now . . . He smothered a groan with the back of his hand. ` _I'm gonna die, and it's my own fucking fault. Baka!_ '

Just when did he ever really think when Kagome was this close?

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome peeked over the top of her magazine to stare at InuYasha. Leaning back against a tree with his injured leg stretched out straight and his arms wrapped around Tetsusaiga, he looked like he was deep in thought, which suited her just fine.

They'd hardly said more than a handful of words to each other since he'd goaded her into kissing his injury. She still wasn't sure why she'd let him do that. Normally she could ignore his taunts, but that one . . . Maybe it was because she'd done the same thing to him after he'd bandaged her side. Maybe it was just that she really did feel bad, knowing that cleaning his wounds hadn't been pleasant for him. Or maybe . . . ` _Maybe you just wanted to kiss him, and he gave you the opportunity_.'

She made a face as she pressed her hand against her suddenly-flaming cheek. ` _Kiss him, maybe, but_ there? _Kami . . . I'm still blushing . . . ugh!_ '

She sighed and forced her eyes back onto the article of one of the upcoming summer movies that was supposed to be big. ` _At least he didn't catch you staring_ ,' she told herself. ` _That would have been . . . humiliating_ . . .'

But she hadn't been able to help it, either . . . The blanket had slipped as she taped his hip, and the result had been . . . a lot more than she should have seen. The way his muscles converged from his waist downward had been too fascinating to ignore. A sparse trail of silvery hair from his belly button had looked so soft that the only thing that kept her from touching it was the thinnest thread of reason that clung to her mind and demanded that she remember she couldn't touch him just because she thought his body was beautiful.

The blanket still covered him, thank kami, but not before she had seen the barest hint of flesh under, and that image was still emblazoned on her brain so sharply that she had a feeling it wouldn't matter if she shook the vial or not, she'd still have dreams of him . . .

` _Tell him, Kagome! Tell him what you think of him_.'

She frowned. It wasn't that she wouldn't love to tell him, but would he even listen? So convinced that he was some sort of anomaly, so tainted, so vile, would he listen to her? ` _So make him listen_.'

` _How?_ '

`. . . _He listens when he's in your dreams, right?_ '

Kagome bit her bottom lip. That was true. They both remembered the dreams they shared, but . . .

` _That's sort of . . . dangerous, isn't it?_ '

` _Hm, maybe, but at least he does listen. He can't run away in your dreams, can he?_ '

Kagome closed her magazine and set it aside. ` _He won't forget to shake it . . . I know him_ . . .'

Besides, even if she could get him to forget to shake, if it came right down to it, she wanted him to believe what she had to say, and she wanted him to be awake and listening. It was too important, too vital. she didn't want him to doubt her, not even a little.

“InuYasha?”

His eyes shifting to meet her gaze was the only indication he gave that he'd heard her.

“Do you . . . want to lie down over here? With . . . me?”

He shrugged. “Maybe later.”

She sighed inwardly. “All right. Then can I come sit by you?”

He didn't answer. Kagome tucked her magazine away and hurried over to sit by him. “If you're tired, we can go ahead and shake the vial,” he commented.

Kagome shrugged. “I'm all right.”

He glanced at her but didn't say anything.

“How's your hip?”

That got an answer out of him. Blushing just a little, InuYasha snorted. “Keh. I'll live, thanks.”

“I should check your bandage before bed,” she commented.

“It's fine,” he insisted again.

She shook her head, staring at him with an enigmatic frown. “Is it that you don't _want_ me to touch you or that you're _scared_ to let me touch you?” she asked softly.

“What?”

She shrugged. “I don't mind,” she went on, ignoring his outburst. “I just want you to know that.”

“Kagome . . .”

She leaned over and kissed his cheek before standing up again to head over to her bedroll. “Night, InuYasha.”

“Kagome, wait . . .”

She turned back as he stood up, using Tetsusaiga as a cane. A beautiful brightness in his eyes lit the semi-darkness as Kagome felt a surge of liquid heat shoot through her. He dropped his gaze when he reached her and dug the vial out of his shirt. She stifled a sigh and shook it ten times before letting go of it and turning back toward her bedroll. He caught her hand and pulled her into a tight hug before kissing her quickly and letting go. She sighed, gaze dark as she struggled to hide the irritation caused by the too-fast kiss.

He must have interpreted the consternation on her face correctly because, clearing his throat, he smiled and said, “Get to bed, wench. With any luck we'll be done with Sesshoumaru and off his land by tomorrow night.”

She smiled back at him and crawled under her blankets as InuYasha sank down beside her. “Aren't you going to shake it, too?”

He shrugged but shook the vial. “Keh. I won't be sleeping, not here. Not till we're out of Sesshoumaru's forest.”

Kagome closed her eyes. ` _Maybe_ ,' she thought as she started to feel the welcoming lull of sleep surround her. ` _Maybe he understood what I was trying to tell him_ . . .'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  …Damn it …


	45. Confrontations

 

~~ ** _Chapter 45_** ~~  
~ ** _Confrontations_** ~

 

InuYasha paced the floor in the main hall as he waited impatiently for his brother to show his face. Kagome clamped her mouth closed, trying to refrain from commenting as the hanyou restlessly stalked.

“I fucking hate this place,” InuYasha grumbled as he passed Kagome for the umpteenth time. “Makes my skin crawl, just being here.”

Kagome caught his sleeve to stop him. “You've been here before?”

The look he shot her plainly stated that he thought she ought to know the answer to that. “What do you think?”

She shrugged. “I don't know . . . you've never talked about it before.”

He jerked his arm away and resumed his pacing. “Keh! Because I fucking _hate_ it, that's why.”

“Sesshoumaru-sama will be with you shortly,” Jaken commented as he scuttled into the room. Giving InuYasha a condescending look, as though he wasn't worthy of the time or trouble, the imp turned on his heel and hurried back out before he could be questioned further.

Kagome frowned. It wasn't a surprise that Jaken behaved like that. Still, in her opinion, it was rude, and it was on the tip of her tongue to call the youkai back to berate him for it when she noticed the familiar face peeking around the wide archway that led to the kitchen beyond. She smiled. “Hi, Rin! How are you?”

“Kagome! You remember me?”

“Of course,” Kagome chided as the girl hesitantly stepped out from behind the wall. “How could I forget you? You've grown!”

Rin smiled, happy that Kagome recognized her after all this time. InuYasha stopped pacing and stared speculatively at the girl. “Is it true?” he demanded. “Is Kagura back?”

Rin's smile widened. “Yes! She's going to stay! She told Sesshoumaru-sama that she would, and—”

“That's enough, Rin.”

InuYasha's gaze shifted from Rin to Sesshoumaru. The youkai swept past the girl and with a single look, Rin bowed and backed out of the doorway that she'd entered. “What do you want?” Sesshoumaru asked, dispensing of any pleasantries that should have been exchanged.

Casually stepping in front of Kagome, InuYasha folded his hands together and regarded his brother suspiciously. “Did you do it? Did you bring Kagura back to life?”

Sesshoumaru offered an almost imperceptible shrug. “I did not.”

“But Rin said—” Kagome began as she tried to peek around InuYasha.

“I said I did not have anything to do with it. I did not say it wasn't true.”

“So it is true . . .” InuYasha stated, his gaze narrowing as he continued to regard his brother. “How?”

Sesshoumaru flicked his wrist, as though the question were frivolous. “She does not remember.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! Don't be stupid, bastard. The dead can't come back to life.”

“Can't they?” Sesshoumaru countered coldly. “You, better than anyone, ought to know that they can.”

“And that never should have happened, either!” InuYasha snarled. No matter what his feelings on the matter, Kagome knew that it was and always would remain a sore point with InuYasha. The vehemence in his tone made her wince. “That was dark magic, and you know it!”

“Believe what you will, InuYasha. This Sesshoumaru cares not.”

“Are you sure it's her?” InuYasha asked as Sesshoumaru started to turn away.

The question seemed to bother Sesshoumaru. The tai-youkai slowly turned back, gaze narrowing dangerously. “Be not a fool! Think you I would simply believe a body that claims to be someone without a shred of proof? I leave that idiocy to you.”

Raw anger flashed in InuYasha's eyes. “What do you mean by that? Why don't you shut the fuck up, you hella nasty—”

“I assume you are discussing me.”

Kagome gasped, her hand covering her mouth, as Kagura descended the stairs with an apologetic smile. “Kagura . . .”

“We watched you die,” InuYasha growled, distrust evident in his stance, the protective way he stood in front of Kagome. “The dead can't come back.”

Kagura shook her head. “I can't explain it. If I could, I'd be happy to tell you how it happened, InuYasha.”

“Keh. You still reek of that bastard, Naraku . . .”

“InuYasha,” Kagome reprimanded softly. “That can't be helped, can it?”

“It ain't possible,” InuYasha went on, ignoring Kagome's words. “Were you resurrected into a clay doll, too?”

Kagura chuckled. “No. I'm alive.”

InuYasha looked skeptical at best. “It can't be done.”

Sesshoumaru stepped forward, leveling a glower at his half-brother. “Obviously it can, baka.”

“Keh, whatever.” InuYasha let that go for the moment, golden gaze shifting to pin Sesshoumaru with a calculating look. “Tell me what you know of this nameless evil that everyone's warned me about.”

Sesshoumaru's lips turned up in a cynical sneer. “And you think I would know any better than you?”

“You're telling me you don't know a damn thing?”

“That's what I'm telling you.”

“Keh. You're lying.”

“Why would I lie?”

“You tell me, bastard.”

Sesshoumaru's back stiffened. Kagome stepped out from behind InuYasha to put a hand on his sleeve. “InuYasha, maybe he really doesn't know.”

“If he don't know then he's getting careless,” InuYasha argued. “Simple as that.”

“Careless? This Sesshoumaru?” Sesshoumaru countered. “I was not careless enough to allow the one who would be my mate to bear another's offspring. I was not careless enough to be affected by a toxin that I knew nothing about. Careless indeed, InuYasha. Who is the fool?”

Kagome blinked in surprise, cheeks reddening at the youkai's blunt statements.

InuYasha growled. “How do you know about the toxin?”

“I smell it on you, baka. Do you honestly seek to tell me you know not where this toxin originated?”

“I know where it originated,” InuYasha shot back. “Why do I have the feeling you know more than you're telling me?”

“Do you know something, Sesshoumaru?” Kagome asked. “Who is she? We're looking for her . . . she killed—”

“Keh! Never mind, wench. He won't tell you any more than he'd tell me. We're wasting our time here.”

Kagome sighed when InuYasha grabbed her hand and dragged her toward the doors. Peeking over her shoulder, she caught the odd look of deliberation on Sesshoumaru's face. “Wait,” she said, tugging on her hand as she tried to stop the hanyou.

“Come on, Kagome. Once a bastard, always a bastard. Don't you know that by now?”

“No, I think—”

“InuYasha,” he called after them as InuYasha yanked the door open.

“What?”

“Hisadaicho.”

InuYasha stopped and swung around to stare at his brother. “Hisa-what?”

Sesshoumaru blinked, a slight tension around his lips as he glared at his half-brother. “Hisadaicho, baka. The one you seek. Her name is Hisadaicho.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

  
_The laughter surrounded her . . . the drunken sounds of giddy merriment. Eyes closed as she sought to steady her frayed nerves, as she fought to keep herself calm in the midst of the absolute insanity_. `Is this what I wanted? Is this meant to be?'

“ _Open your eyes, my_ _butterfly_ _. . . to live you must indulge your senses_ . . .”

_A tremor of fear shot through her. Hands bound above her head, secured to the table where she lay, too many sensations warred with the inborn sense of propriety, the knowledge that what she was experiencing wasn't natural, wasn't pure_ . . .

“ _I . . . I can't do this,” she whimpered, a half-sob, a quiet entreaty_.

“ _To prepare you for the change, you must,” he ordered, his tone cold, callus. “Give yourself to your physical needs, my butterfly. Do this for me_.”

“ _I . . . but I_ . . .”

“ _Would I subject you to something that wasn't necessary?_ ”

“. . . _No_ . . .”

_His lips on hers were her reward._ _Hot, vapid, to control or to be controlled . . . she whimpered softly, struggled against the ties that bound her_ _._ _All too soon, he pulled away leaving her shivering, breathless. “As you wish, my koishii_.”

_He chuckled. “That's what I wanted to hear. You and I shall live forever. This is but the first step in your metamorphosis_.”

`Metamorphosis,' _she thought as she heard him cross the chamber, discerned the scrape of the door. Opening her eyes, she saw him there, leaning against the wall as faceless people pressed in around her. Tugging at her clothes, greedy hands on her flesh_ _. . ._ _She smiled as her body betrayed her nervousness._ _Bodies invading hers as she cried out time and again, she didn't see_ _faces;_ _only felt the welcoming throb, the pulses, the heat. Pleasure became pain, and pain melded into pleasure again. A torturous ebb, a wicked flow . . . he caught her gaze though the mist of lust, the veil of passion, his eyes full of promises, of more satisfaction yet to come_. `Yes . . . my metamorphosis . . . and then . . . I shall fly . . .'

Lavender eyes flashing open in the dusky dim of the predawn light, Hisadaicho sighed as the lingering dream faded. Shifting her body as she relished the feel of Aki's satiny skin against hers, she closed her eyes again. Just for a moment, for the vaguest of seconds, her koishii was with her, whispering in her ear.

` _The wolf youkai, my butterfly . . . destroy him for me . . . destroy him, and before he dies_ _, tell him in whose name you've come_.'

Hisadaicho untangled herself from the leaden body that pinned her down. Wandering over to the earthen vase, she breathed in the rising fumes with a smile. “And the girl, my koishii? Why can't I just kill her?”

The voice came to her mind, a breath in the dark. ` _We need her, my butterfly . . . we need her . . . and we need the hanyou, at least for a little while longer_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Why do you think he told you?”

InuYasha glanced up from sharpening Tetsusaiga and stared at Kagome for a moment. “I dunno . . .”

Kagome rolled over onto her stomach, feet kicked up in the air as she rested her chin in the cradle of her hands. “Do you believe him?”

“I dunno.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Well, it is the best lead we've had so far, right? Still . . . Sesshoumaru rarely tells you anything. I wonder why he told you this?”

InuYasha growled. “I dunno.”

With a sigh, Kagome sat up. “All right, all right, you don't want to talk about it. Can I ask you something else then?”

He didn't answer, so she took his silence as agreement.

Wrapping her arms around her legs, she rested her chin on her knees as she stared at him. “Why do you hate the castle so much?”

He shot her a look that stated plainly that he didn't want to talk about that, either.

“Did you live there?”

InuYasha shot to his feet and jammed Tetsusaiga into the scabbard before stuffing it through his waistband and stalking around the fire. “Nope.”

Kagome frowned. “But you've been there.”

“Yeah.”

“I don't understand.”

InuYasha shook his head. “It's not important. I don't wanna talk about it.”

“. . . All right.”

Turning her head, resting her cheek on her knees, Kagome stared into the fire. ` _I wish he'd just talk to me . . . I know there's something that really bothers him about that castle, other than Sesshoumaru . . . but what?_ '

Flopping down next to her, InuYasha heaved a sigh and shook his head, ears flattening as he jammed his arms together under the cover of his haori sleeves. “I . . . I _wanted_ to live there, for awhile, when I was young,” InuYasha admitted softly. “After Mother died . . . I just wanted a home.”

“And Sesshoumaru . . . ?”

InuYasha shook his head, dropping his arms to the ground as his claws dug into the earth. “He didn't have time to deal with a half-breed, he said. Anyway, it don't matter. I'd have just turned into a bastard like him, so who cares?”

Kagome swallowed hard as she reached out to take his hand. “I care,” she whispered.

A startled look shot through his gaze, a lingering vulnerability that he tried so hard to hide. “Keh. I don't care about it anymore. I'm too old to need that now.”

Kagome shook her head. “Everyone needs a place to belong, even if it's only in their heart.”

Staring at her, his brows furrowed as he slowly nodded, InuYasha managed a little smile. “I have that place, Kagome.”

She smiled as the rest of his sentence echoed in her mind, the part that he had said through his gaze. ` _You gave me that place_ . . .' “So do I.”

He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words. Staring at her in the firelight, a flicker of a thousand emotions raced over his expression in a matter of moments. He shook his head, deciding that maybe the things that he wanted to say were already things that she knew, and when she smiled at him, he knew that she really understood.

She reached out, pressed her palm against his cheek, her touch enough to tell him the things that she wanted him to know. He leaned forward to kiss her, a simple gesture meant to suffice for words that just wouldn't come.

Until her stomach rumbled—loudly. Blushing as InuYasha sat back, amusement lighting his gaze, Kagome grinned sheepishly he shook his head and rolled to his feet. “All right, wench. I'll find something for you to eat.”

“I'm fine,” she protested as a guilty pang rippled through her.

He shook his head. “Keh! Right, wench,” he argued. “Stay here. I'll be back.”

She watched him leave as her smile widened. True, they'd had fish earlier. For some reason, InuYasha had been hungrier than normal so she had given him more than half of hers. Staring at the fire, she reveled in the warmth that filled her, the delicious sense that came from InuYasha and not from the blazing logs before her.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha knelt on the rock staring down into the water with a frown of concentration. Fishing in the middle of the night wasn't exactly an easy task, but he couldn't let Kagome go hungry, either. ` _Last time I trust the wench when she says she ain't hungry,_ ' he thought as he missed the fish he'd been trying to catch.

Still he smiled into the darkness. Something about Kagome just made him feel good inside.

Shaking his head as he tried to focus on catching a fish to feed the wench, InuYasha frowned in concentration as he stared into the blackened water.

An inviting scent announced his audience before glanced up. Kagome stood on the river bank with a smile on her face as she gazed at him. Eyes veiled in shadows, the blue moonlight dusting her cheeks in the contrast of night, she looked like some sort of ethereal nymph, a goddess of the woods . . .

“I'm really not that hungry,” she called to him, her voice soft yet strong enough to carry.

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! I heard how `not hungry' you were, remember?”

She shrugged and hitched herself up on a boulder. “Suit yourself then. I'll just sit here and stare at the moon . . . alone . . . by myself . . .”

InuYasha rolled his eyes as his hand shot into the water. The fish he'd been aiming for darted away before he could catch it, and he shook his hand as he wrinkled his nose.

“InuYasha . . .”

“Quiet, wench. I'm fishing.”

Kagome stood up on the rock and shuffled toward the edge. “Look, InuYasha . . . I'm going to fall . . .”

“You can swim,” he called back carelessly.

“Sure, I can,” she agreed. “Woo . . . watch out!”

He peeked up at her. She tipped back and forth, arms stretched out as she tried to keep her balance. “Clumsy, you _will_ fall,” he informed her.

“I won't,” she assured him. “I have cat-like grace and dexterity! I'll never— _eep!_ ”

And with that, she slipped off the rock and plummeted into the water. She came up sputtering, wiping water out of her eyes with nimble fingers as the fish he'd been trying to catch swam away. InuYasha stood up and shook his head. “Keh! There goes your food.”

“I fall in the water, and all you care about is that the fish are gone?” she complained. “I'm soaked! Besides, I'm cold!”

InuYasha hopped onto the rock Kagome had fallen from and knelt there, peeking over the side. “Damn, wench, you _are_ soaked.”

That earned him a scowl. “Yeah, I know. Help me out?”

He snorted. “Keh! I don't need a bath, thanks.”

Heaving a frustrated sigh, Kagome started floundering toward shore. InuYasha grinned as she tried to retain a measure of dignity. Water streaming off her body as she emerged, InuYasha's humor died as he stared. The thin white cotton blouse she wore clung to her now, revealing curves that he knew were there but tried to ignore. It was impossible. Her outline in the moonlight was too soft, too inviting. The smell of the dampness that sluiced from her was too blatant an invitation, a force not to be disregarded.

Standing on the edge of the stream, Kagome tried to wring out the hem of her skirt as her hair dripped softly onto the smooth pebbles. InuYasha stood and dropped off the boulder as he slowly stepped toward Kagome. Her breath caught in her throat, a soft gasp in the moonlight as she straightened up to stare at him, her gaze locked with his.

“InuYasha?” she whispered, her voice hushed in the quiet.

Reaching out to push the wet hair off her face, InuYasha's fingers were shaking. “You're going to get sick,” he replied, his tone husky, choked. Ignoring the water, he picked her up and slowly headed back toward camp.

“Wait,” she murmured as her arms wrapped around his neck.

He stopped but didn't put her down. “What?”

“Kiss me.”

InuYasha glanced down at her. “K-Kagome?”

Eyes half-closed, she stared at him through her spiky lashes. “Kiss me, InuYasha. Kiss me now.”

Pulling herself up against him, she tugged on his neck to bring his head down. Shocked into compliance at her soft order, he closed his eyes as she rose to meet him, her breath hot, misting his lips.

A sharp gasp made him snap his eyes open. Chin rising as he frowned in confusion, he glanced from Kagome in his arms to the Kagome standing in the tree line. Her eyes wide, hurt, she smothered soft sob and turned to run.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Hisadaicho:**  
>  Ahh, Kagura . . . now behave, and I'll allow you to live …


	46. Trust Not Your Eyes

 

~~ ** _Chapter 46_** ~~  
~ ** _Trust Not Your Eyes_** ~

 

Kagome ran, blinded by tears that rose to blur her vision. The darkness of the forest thwarted her, and she tripped over a tangled root. Brushing the dirt off her knees as she forced herself to stand, to ignore the eruption of pain, she lurched forward again.

` _Who was that woman?_ '

Choking back a sob, Kagome ran faster. Again the image of InuYasha holding that woman solidified in her mind, and she smashed the back of her hand against her mouth as she pushed herself onward.

Stumbling as her shoulder caught on a thick tree branch that was hanging low to the ground, she dashed the back of her hand over her eyes. Lips nearly touching, the image of him with her goaded Kagome to move her feet faster. ` _Why? Why would he . . . how could he? Why?_ '

Pain ravaged her body, racked through her as she fought to hold it in, tried to keep herself from coming undone. An ache burst inside her, a hurt so deep that it nearly brought her to her knees, and still she kept running. ` _Don't think, Kagome . . . don't think, and don't feel . . . just run_ . . .'

The night wasn't a friendly thing. Everything tried to stop her. Roots wrapped around her ankles to trip her. Branches reached down to catch her. Even the air, itself, seemed to press against her. A white-hot burn erupted in her lungs, the pain of drawing breath warred with the ache in her soul, in her heart, in her body. The image of InuYasha holding that woman was too vicious, too bitter, flashing before her with a gut-wrenching potency.

` _I just wanted . . . all I wanted_ . . .'

Too hard to cast the visions aside, too hard to repress the hurt, the pain, the ache that overwhelmed her. Instinct alone guided her, led her deeper into the dark forest, into the hateful blackness. Pressing against her eyes, rising in her throat to choke her, and suddenly, she broke into a small clearing, the shaft of moonlight breaking the darkness with the sharp edge of a dagger.

“ _How could you?_ ” she sobbed, screamed, unable to hold in the sting any longer. Stopping in the middle of the clearing, raising her tear-streaked face toward heaven, Kagome dropped to her knees. “How could you?” she whispered.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha's mind slowed as he stared at the woman in his arms—Kagome—just before his face lifted to glare at the empty tree line where she had disappeared. Kagome?

“What's the matter, InuYasha? You look as though you've seen a ghost.”

Letting her down, InuYasha pushed her away, and she stumbled. Steadying herself, catching her balance, the woman threw her head back and laughed. The sound of it was wholly Kagome and yet wasn't. There was a bitter sharp edge to her mirth, an underlying cynicism that Kagome didn't know. The familiar and yet foreign sound sent chills up his spine as the truth of what had nearly happened sickened him. “You . . . you're not . . .” His eyes widened as he understood, the taunting light behind this Kagome's gaze was too uncharacteristic, too . . . malevolent. “Hisadaicho.”

“So you know my name. What will you do? Fight me or chase your koishii?” Her smile widened as she casually leaned back against the boulder. “Dangerous things lurk in the dark. Your darling Kagome is merely a mortal girl.”

Flexing his claws as he clenched his jaw, InuYasha wanted to tear her limb from limb, to rip Kagome's face off her body. She didn't deserve to look like Kagome, not now, now ever. With a low growl, he stalked forward, cracking his knuckles as he advanced on her. “Damn you, bitch! I'll—”

Clucking her tongue, Hisadaicho shook her head as tears suddenly pooled in her eyes—in the eyes he knew better than he knew his own. “InuYasha, you promised! You swore you'd protect me!” she whispered.

With a sharp hiss as he inhaled, InuYasha raised his claws, intending to hack her to bits. His hand stilled in mid-air as those damned tears sparkled, caught on her lashes, assaulted his nose, mingled with the scent of her, of Kagome.

Hisadaicho laughed. “You're so simple to manipulate. Do you really think you can hurt me? So long as you're subject to my toxin, InuYasha . . .” she straightened her back, sauntered closer, ran her fingertips along his cheek. “Run after her, my sweet puppy. Save her from the evils of the night.”

“Fuck!” he growled as he shoved her away.

“Before you go,” she called as he mentally berated himself for his own indecisiveness, “are you sure you wouldn't like to kiss me?”

Hopping up on the boulder, Hisadaicho leaped back, up the cliff behind her, her mocking laughter lingering in the air as she disappeared from view.

Kagome's shocked, hurt expression tore at him. With another mumbled curse, he sprinted into the forest, following her scent into the dense foliage.

` _Trust not what your eyes tell you. Believe what her soul says to you, or all will be lost_.'

“Old Bokuseno . . .” InuYasha muttered as he followed her trail. “What else does he know?”

Kagome's voice split the stillness of the forest. “ _How could you?_ ” she shrieked, her voice far away, thick with tears.

He winced. ` _Baka! Damn it! Kagome_ . . .'

He broke into the clearing and stopped. Crumpled in a beam of moonlight, she sat in the grass, shoulders slumped, arms helplessly at her sides. Legs folded under her, her body trembled as she silently cried, the tears streaking her temples in silvery lines that disappeared into the blackened shadows of her hair. Her head was tilted back, face turned upward as she stared at the sky, the edges of her aura wrapped around her tightly, as though the aura itself were trying to offer her solace. If he had ever seen her look more defeated than she did in that moment, he didn't remember it, and that it was entirely his fault . . .

He stumbled forward, dropped to his knees beside her. “Kagome . . .”

She didn't reply.

“I—”

“Who is she?” Kagome asked quietly.

“I thought she was you . . . it's her, Hisadaicho . . . Kagome, I . . . I'm sorry.”

“Hisadaicho,” Kagome repeated. “I see . . .”

InuYasha winced at the resigned tone of her voice. “Do you? I thought . . . she looked, she smelled . . . she _was_ you.”

Kagome shook her head, finally shifting her gaze to the side, her eyes still full of tears that had yet to fall. “But she wasn't me, InuYasha . . .”

Ears flattening against the sadness surrounding her, InuYasha dug his claws into the ground. “I didn't know that . . . I thought . . . I thought she was.”

“You were . . . going to kiss her . . .” Kagome whispered as she squeezed her eyes closed. “You . . . you would have . . .”

InuYasha didn't deny it. How could he? He flinched inwardly. “Kagome, I—”

“You thought she was me.”

He couldn't keep the whine that welled up inside. Whether it was the complete lack of anger behind her words or the way her pain had become a palpable thing, InuYasha reached out a hand to touch her. He couldn't do it. She was somehow just out of his reach, and that idea was enough to kill him little by little. The reasons sounded pathetic to him, and they had to sound just as stupid to her.

“Is that . . . how you felt? When you saw Houjou kiss me? Or Kouga?”

Caught off guard by her question, InuYasha blinked in surprise and nodded, head jerking, as though he had to force himself to answer her. “. . . Yeah.”

Kagome nodded, too, her chin lowering as she closed her eyes. “Would you have known? If you . . . if you had kissed her . . . would you have known she wasn't me?”

He swallowed hard. He wanted to tell her he'd know, but would he have? Would his mind have known?

She nodded as her raised her head, dropped her chin against her chest. “It's all right,” she mumbled. “You don't have to answer that.”

“It ain't that,” he growled, irritated at his own inability to tell her what he was thinking. “Do you think I'd want to kiss someone else?”

Kagome shook her head. “. . . No, but . . .”

“But what?”

She shook her head stubbornly. “Nothing.”

“But _what?_ ” he pressed.

“But I'd know, even if he looked exactly like you, I'd know, because I lo—” She cut herself off with a soft gasp, as though she just realized what she had been about to say.

He recoiled from the understated vehemence in her tone, the raw pain in her expression. ` _She was going to say she_ _. . ._ _Keh! Don't finish it, baka!_ ' “I couldn't even . . . I let her get away because . . . I can't . . . even knowing that she wasn't you, I couldn't . . . _damn it!_ ”

She gasped softly, bringing her fingers up to flutter over her lips. “You couldn't hurt her? Because she . . . looks like me, to you.”

“Kagome, don't you know?” he whispered, grabbing her wrist and forcing her to look at him. Face covered in shadows, he couldn't discern her expression, or maybe he just didn't want to.

She nodded, and in the darkness, he could see her vague smile. “I . . . I think I do.”

InuYasha frowned as he stared at her hand. ` _She's never tried to pull away when I've touched her . . . and she doesn't mind touching me . . . she's never rejected me or treated me like a filthy hanyou_ _. . ._ _Maybe she does know, and maybe_ . . .' He sighed and muttered, “I wish . . .”

“Wish?” she prodded when he trailed off.

He shook his head and snorted. “Keh. It ain't important.”

“It is, to me.”

He let go of her hand as he glared at the trees over her head. “I got nothing, Kagome,” he confessed quietly. “I don't have a home or a place that is mine, but . . . but I can protect you, and, uh . . . I can . . .” he stumbled over the words he wanted to say.

“InuYasha?”

He winced at the hopefulness in her voice, the breathy quality that bespoke her quiet wonder. ` _What are you thinking, baka? She's Kagome, and she deserves more than . . . more than you_.' “It's stupid,” he mumbled, thankful, at least, that it was dark enough to hide his blush. “Never mind.”

“Why don't you let me decide?”

“Decide what?”

She smiled, lips trembling as her hand stroked his cheek. “If it's stupid.”

Daring to meet her gaze, her eyes glittering like stars in the darkest night sky, InuYasha swallowed hard and shook his head. “All my life I've heard how worthless I am, ignorant half-breed . . . but you . . . you let me protect you . . . you've cried for me, and . . .”

Kagome's finger pressed against his lips to silence him. “You're not, you know? You're not worthless, and you're not ignorant, and I . . . I love being with you, InuYasha.”

Desperate to believe her but unable to let go of the last remnants of doubt, InuYasha forced himself to ask the one question that burned in his mind. “Why?”

She shrugged as she let her hand fall away. “Because you're you,” she answered, as though the answer was simple.

“Kagome . . .” he said, brow furrowing as he sat back. “I made a promise to myself . . . that I would avenge Kikyou, and keep you safe . . .”

Kagome nodded. “I knew you would,” she answered, her tone oddly detached. “It's who you are. You take care of people, even if they never really asked you to do it.”

He cleared his throat, mustering his courage to tell her what he really wanted to say. She was Kagome, and he knew her. Even then, the lingering fear remained, the worry that somehow he'd misunderstood her signals, that she would reject him, but she needed to know, and he needed to say it. “After I take care of Hisadaicho . . . I want to take care of you.”

Bottom lip trembling precariously, InuYasha watched in amazement as Kagome leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, a gentle caress, and he knew that he was forgiven. “Only if I can take care of you, too,” she told him.

He finally managed a small grin. “Keh. What can you do to take care of me?”

She let her head fall against his shoulder. “I can make anywhere we are into a home . . . for you.”

He felt a curious prickling behind his eyes as his gaze suddenly grew fuzzy. Wrinkling his nose as an odd tickle developed in his throat, in his nostrils, he blinked quickly, wrapping his arms around her. “That'd be . . . nice.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Do you think he knows anything else?” Kagome asked as she leaned forward on InuYasha's shoulder.

InuYasha snorted as he pushed off the ground to soar above the trees. “I don't know . . . there's got to be something, some way to fight that bitch, and if Bokuseno knows, then he's damn well going to tell me.”

“What if he already told you everything? We could have just followed Hisadaicho's scent,” Kagome pointed out.

“Keh! We could have, sure . . .”

Kagome frowned at InuYasha's sarcastic tone. ` _He's afraid he can't hurt her_ ,' she thought suddenly, ` _because when he looks at her, he sees . . . me_ . . .'

“Anyway, we'll just find another way to handle her,” InuYasha replied with grim determination.

“Okay,” she agreed, mostly to humor him. ` _He couldn't do anything against Kikyou, when she was resurrected, either_ _. . ._ _How can we fight against Hisadaicho if InuYasha can't stand to hurt her?_ '

“Bokuseno is ancient. He's gotta know more than he let on,” InuYasha continued. “We'll figure something out, even if I have to rip Hisadaicho's fucking face off.”

Kagome winced at InuYasha's vehemence. “You sound confident,” she remarked.

He sighed. “If you're there . . . maybe . . .”

He left his sentence off. He didn't need to finish it. She knew what he would have said. ` _If I can see you there, maybe I can fight her because I'll know she isn't you_.'

For some reason, Kagome couldn't help but feel a little happy. It wasn't a good situation, at all, but . . . but if he really felt that way then . . . ` _Then he_ does _really_ _. . ._ _love me, doesn't he?_ '

She squirmed closer to him, recalling his words. ` _After I take care of Hisadaicho . . . I want to take care of you_.'

“I've been thinking, wench,” InuYasha said, cutting through Kagome's musings. “Maybe it'd be best if you don't leave my sight for awhile.”

Eyebrows lifting in surprise, Kagome leaned forward to look at InuYasha's face. He looked serious enough. Still . . . “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “I mean, she can't pretend to be you if you don't leave my sight, right?”

Kagome didn't answer that. She wasn't sure what he wanted her to say. Not that the idea of being with him all the time bothered her, but she was also sure that what he was asking was going to be a lot of trouble.

“So, uh . . . no taking off anywhere without me, got that?”

Deciding that there really wasn't any use arguing with him over it, Kagome nodded. “All right.”

InuYasha's shoulders relaxed a little. “Good.”

Kagome winced. Just what had she agreed to?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  …So we'll take care of each other, right … ?


	47. Bokuseno

 

~~ ** _Chapter 47_** ~~  
~ ** _Bokuseno_** ~

 

“Why do you seek my council, son of the Inu no Taisho?”

“Do you know anything of a youkai named Hisadaicho? She's a butterfly,” Kagome asked when InuYasha snorted.

“Hisadaicho?” Bokuseno echoed thoughtfully. “I have not heard this name.”

“Keh. Are you sure?” InuYasha pressed.

Bokuseno's leaves rustled in the breeze. “I have heard that your brother has found one that he thought he lost. Is this true, InuYasha?”

“Kagura,” Kagome murmured. “Yes, it's true.”

“What's that got to do with anything?” InuYasha growled.

Bokuseno sighed as he gazed at the hanyou. “One thing is connected to another, InuYasha. This is how the world maintains a balance. You cannot have one life bestowed without taking another somewhere.”

Rolling his eyes, InuYasha grimaced. Kagome knew that look and sighed. “Keh! I shoulda known. Do all old geezers have to talk in riddles? If so, count me out. I ain't never getting old . . .”

“InuYasha!”

Bokuseno laughed. “Riddles? I do not have all the answers you seek, young one. Have you asked your brother about this?”

“Keh. He's the biggest bastard alive, and yes, I did already ask him.”

“I see . . . and he had no answers for you?”

InuYasha made a face. “If he ever gave me a straight answer then he wouldn't be living up to his bastard-ness.”

“Do you have any idea how to counteract a butterfly youkai's toxin powder?” Kagome asked before InuYasha could add any more to his bleak assessment of his brother.

“A butterfly's toxin . . . ? It is not so painful, is it?”

“Keh!” InuYasha snorted as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Not painful, my a—”

“This one uses her toxin to make her looks like other people,” Kagome explained.

Bokuseno nodded. “There are only two ways, young miko. One would be to destroy the butterfly youkai, and the other is to give life to the dreams.”

InuYasha's cheeks reddened as Kagome tried not to fidget and tried even harder not to look at InuYasha. Kaede had told her that much . . . but, to her knowledge, no one had told InuYasha as much . . . “I just thought maybe there was another way . . .”

“Are the dreams so terrible?”

“About Hisadaicho,” InuYasha interrupted loudly. “You have no idea about her? Nothing at all?”

“Nothing at all.” The ancient tree's branches shook and bowed in majestic apology. “I am sorry, InuYasha.”

InuYasha stood up and grabbed Kagome's hand. “Yeah. So am I,” he mumbled.

“Thank you!” Kagome called as InuYasha dragged her away from the tree.

Bokuseno sighed and smiled vaguely as he watched the retreating forms: the hanyou and the miko. “If the Inu no Taisho could see you now, InuYasha . . . The son who most resembles his father . . .”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagura sat on the hillside with her legs tucked under her and her back straight and proud. She could feel the intensity of Sesshoumaru's gaze on her back. He sat, leaning against a tree with his legs stretched out before him, one bent at the knee. She smiled sadly.

There was a time when she had believed that the control Naraku held over her was the worst thing imaginable. She hadn't really believed, back then, that there could be anything worse. She'd been wrong, terribly wrong. The body her soul now occupied obeyed her will, so long as her will did not contradict Hisadaicho's.

` _How did she do it? How could she have called back my soul, recreated my body? How could she possibly have done such a thing?_ ' Kagura asked herself as she gazed at the falling night sky, as she reveled in the feel of the air against her skin. She'd forgotten, hadn't she, what a physical body could feel . . .

“A blood red moon rises,” Sesshoumaru commented softly.

Kagura shifted her attention to the slightly less than full scarlet orb that hung against the horizon. The majestic sight was enough to send a distinct shiver down her spine. ` _A blood moon . . . innocent lives were lost this night_ . . .'

For some reason, she remembered the first time she'd talked to Sesshoumaru. ` _A night with a full moon_ . . .' She sought only to tell him where to find his sword, Tokijin. Something about his quiet nobility, his uncanny reserve spoke to her. Silvery beams of moonlight shined in his hair, cast a bluish shadow over those startling amber eyes. Perhaps he had bewitched her then. As beautiful as he was cold, those who knew of him used to call him the Aristocratic Assassin. It fit, didn't it?

He sat beside her. She started. She hadn't heard him move. “Do you wish to return to the castle?”

Kagura smiled and shook her head. “It's so peaceful here . . .”

Eyes glowing, he nodded as he stared over the darkened landscape. “Peaceful . . . yes . . .”

Her smile turned sad, and she sighed. Peace was something that eluded her. In her heart, she wanted to be here, with him. The war between her soul and the prison of her body was a bitter thing. Hisadaicho's command echoed through her mind, and she closed her eyes, willing them away yet powerless to stop them as they tore at her.

“ _What do you want from me?” Kagura demanded as she tightened the belt of the kimono she'd been given_.

_Hisadaicho's smile was wicked, almost seductive, and it made Kagura seethe with anger. “That's simple, Kagura. I want you to find Sesshoumaru . . . give him what he wants . . . and then . . . I want you to destroy him_.”

“ _I won't do it_.”

_Hisadaicho laughed. “You will. You must. I've graciously restored you to a body. I've recreated you into exactly who you were before. You owe me your very life, and your body . . . we'll call it a loan, for now. After you accomplish what I want you to do, then you'll be free_.”

_Magenta eyes flashin_ _g with outrage, with anger born_ _of the years when she had ceased to exist in a physical body, Kagura narrowed her gaze on the hanyou who continued to smile. “And what makes you believe I want a body badly enough to do what you ask?_ ”

_Hisadaicho's smile faded into a mulish pout. “It doesn't really matter what you want, Kagura. Your body is mine, and it will obey me regardless of your petty whims. Now go, before I change my mind. If I suck out your soul, you'll never be free. You won't return to the wind. You'll simply cease to exist_.”

“ _Then do it. I'd rather be destroyed than have anything to do with your debased scheme_.”

_Hisadaicho's smile returned, her catty expression enough to grate the last fraying ends of Kagura's nerves. “That's enough. Henceforth, you will_ _speak only the things that are pleasing to hear. Now go and do as you are told_.”

_And her body had a mind of its own. She wanted to strike down the hanyou before her. Instead, she turned and left. Her mind willed her body to do as she commanded but the blood bond forged between Hisadaicho and the animated shell of flesh would not be broken_.

“What are you thinking, Kagura?” Sesshoumaru asked, his voice tugging her back to the present.

She smiled as she tried to forget the feeling of utter helplessness, the torment of the soul that had become too real, too poignant. “About the past,” she answered, relieved to hear her own words, even if they weren't the complete truth.

“The past,” he echoed.

Her soul ached, bled, cried out in a voice that he couldn't hear. She wanted to be here, with him, and yet she wanted to run away, and both of these desires stemmed from the same reason. she loved him too much to hurt him, and in the end, no matter how Hisadaicho's plot turned out, wouldn't that still be the end result?

` _No! I . . . I won't let it happen! I cannot!_ '

Bolstered by the words that echoed through her mind, Kagura tried to believe them. ` _I'll find a way . . . I won't hurt him . . . I_ won't.'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Oh, come on, InuYasha . . . it can't be that bad,” Kagome hollered as InuYasha sat in the tree branches, glaring at the surrounding forest as she splashed behind a huge boulder. He could see the top of her head where he sat, and it was enough to give him reassurance that she was still where he could keep an eye on her.

` _Keh! That don't even deserve an answer_ ,' InuYasha thought with a disgusted snort.

Myouga's words haunted him. ` _You could act out your dreams! That would do it!_ ' Then, of course, Bokuseno had confirmed that . . .

He winced. “Hurry up, wench. You're not that dirty.”

Kagome turned around and gripped the boulder with her hands as she stood up on tiptoe to look over the rock at him. Her eyes were narrowed suspiciously. “Something just occurred to me,” she said slowly, her tone carefully neutral.

“What's that?” he made himself ask.

“If your dreams really weren't . . . that bad . . . then wouldn't we have already broken the toxin?”

He grimaced. ` _Damn it! How can she be so fucking perceptive, anyway?_ ' “You going to take all night?”

“InuYasha . . . what did we do in your dreams?”

Lifting his chin to sniff the air, InuYasha made a show of gazing at the sky. “I think it's going to rain,” he told her.

Kagome sighed. “Why don't you just tell me?”

“Move it, wench. You hate sleeping in the rain.”

With a defeated shake of her head, Kagome let go of the rock. “All right. No peeking, dog-boy!”

InuYasha felt his cheeks heat up at her warning. “Keh! As if!” he shot back as he tried hard not to look out of the corner of his eyes. Kagome swam for shore, ducking behind another boulder after making sure InuYasha had his head turned away.

“De Nile is a river in Egypt, you know. Visit there often?”

“Funny, wench. What's `Egypt'?”

Kagome heaved a sigh as she emerged, fully dressed and hair wrapped in a fluffy pink towel. “I'm right, aren't I? That's why don't you want to tell me about your dreams!”

InuYasha dropped out of the tree and crossed his arms stubbornly as thunder rumbled in the distance. “Told you it was going to rain.”

“Have it your way,” Kagome relented. “Sooner or later, though, you're going to have to tell me.”

` _Keh_ ,' InuYasha snorted inwardly as he led the way to a nearby cave that would do for the night. A fleeting memory of those all-too-familiar dreams solidified in his mind, and he stifled a groan. ` _Later_ . . . much _later . . ._ _like_ _n_ _ever_.'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Kouga, wait up!” Hakkaku panted as he and Ginta struggled to catch up with their leader.

Kouga glanced over his shoulder and rolled his eyes at the two. “Come on. We've got a lot of ground to cover, and I'm not giving up till we find her.”

Ginta and Hakkaku exchanged nervous looks. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Ginta asked carefully.

“Why wouldn't it be? She's not going to get away with what she did . . . I'll make her pay . . .”

“But . . . we don't even know who we're looking for,” Hakkaku pointed out. Cringing and laughing nervously when Kouga spun around and pinned him with a menacing glare, the youkai shrank back as he skidded to a stop just out of Kouga's reach.

“We don't need to. I'll find her. I can _smell_ her,” Kouga growled as he spun around and raced off again.

With a groan, Ginta and Hakkaku sprinted after him. “Hakkaku . . . I don't think we should be doing this,” Ginta puffed.

Hakkaku grunted. “Kouga won't give up.”

Ginta nodded. “Yeah, but . . . she's his mate, right? He can't hunt his mate . . . He'll be subject to the tai-youkai . . .”

“Isn't the tai-youkai InuYasha's half-brother?”

Ginta winced. “I forgot about that . . .” he admitted as he frowned at Kouga's back for a moment before he turned his head to stare at Hakkaku. “You tell him.”

Hakkaku shook his head. “Oh, no . . . you thought of it. You tell him.”

“I'm not going to tell him . . .”

“Well, _I'm_ not going to tell him, either.”

Ginta sighed. “This . . . could be bad . . .”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha stared at the falling rain as Kagome slept soundly. Ordinarily they'd be well on their way, but since she didn't like traveling in the rain and was sleeping so peacefully, he didn't have the heart to wake her.

` _Keh! That ain't true. You just don't want her to start questioning you again._ '

He winced. There was that, too.

She hadn't let go of the topic all evening, to the point that he'd been close to making up some excuse to get out of the cave until she did. If it weren't for his own stupid idea that she needed to be where he could see her at all times, he would have. Instead he stopped answering her questions . . .

“ _I don't understand, InuYasha. Kaede and Bokuseno both said that the only other way to get rid of the toxin was to act out your dreams, so I just want to know what, exactly, you were dreaming?_ ”

“ _Will you drop it, wench? I ain't telling you, so give up, all right?_ ”

_Crossing her arms over her chest as she leveled a defiant frown at him, Kagome shook her head. “But you can't fight her if she looks like me to you, right? There isn't any other way, is there?_ ”

_InuYasha snorted. “Keh! There's another way, and I'll find it. Don't worry about that_.”

_She sighed. “I don't like_ _ta_ _l_ _king about_ _this any better than you do, but I have to know!_ ”

“ _No, you really don't,” he retorted_.

_Scooting over beside him, Kagome gently turned his face, forcing him to look at her. “I want to help you. You know that, don't you? I can't help you if you don't tell me_.”

_InuYasha couldn't meet the pleading light in her gaze. There were some things that he couldn't tell her. There were things that she was better off never knowing, and the things that his dreams had showed him . . . he never wanted her to know because . . . because those things were never meant to be Kagome. “Don't worry about it, wench. If you're there . . . if I can see you . . . I can defeat her_.”

_The doubt that lingered in her eyes was a painful thing to see. He'd never seen that expression in her gaze when she stared at him. He'd never seen her doubt him like that_ _before_.

“Morning,” Kagome murmured. He heard her sit up, heard her yawn. “Wow . . . I slept late . . . sorry about that.”

Turning away from the cave opening, InuYasha shrugged. “Don't worry about it. You won't travel in the rain, anyway.”

“Still,” she argued, “you haven't had anything to eat this morning, have you?” Scooting out of her blankets, Kagome stood up and stretched before scrunching down to poke at the fire before dropping on a couple more logs.

“I ate,” he told her, gesturing at the empty ramen cup he'd already rinsed out.

She wrinkled her nose. “That's not real food. You need something more substantial.”

“Keh. Well, unless you want to go wandering around in the rain, I can't go catch anything else.”

She conceded his point with a heavy sigh and a shake of her head. “I'll be fine here, you know.”

He didn't bother to comment on that as he grabbed her bag and dug out a box of pocky.

“That's for Shippou and Ichisaru!” she complained.

“Keh! So they'll have one too few boxes. They won't die . . . might beat on each other awhile over it, but they won't die.”

Kagome grinned. “You're so bad sometimes.”

“If they don't fight sometime they'll grow up weak,” InuYasha argued. “Weak and worthless.”

She stopped suddenly and slowly turned to stare at him. “That's really what you think, isn't it? That you're only worth something if you fight?”

He didn't answer as he shifted his gaze to the side, glowering at the shadows dancing over the walls of the cave.

Kagome stood up, approaching him cautiously. Wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her cheek against his heart she squeezed. “It's not true, you know. You don't have to fight to be worth a lot.”

He snorted. “Keh. Let me do this my way, wench.”

She nodded. “All right,” she agreed, “as long as you realize that I've never based your worth on that.”

He smiled, just a little. She didn't see it. “And what do you base it on?”

“That's simple. It's what's in your heart that matters.”

` _It's you, Kagome . . . you're in my heart_ . . .' He held onto her, closed his eyes. “You sound like a girl, wench,” he scoffed, his voice gruff, thick.

“I _am_ a girl, baka.”

“Yeah, I know, but now you sound like one.”

She leaned back, smiling as she tried to look irritated. “Would you rather that I talk like you?”

He rolled his eyes. “I'd rather that you didn't talk at all,” he teased.

She pulled away from them and headed toward the cave entrance.

“Oi! Where do you think you're going?”

She glanced over her shoulder and wrinkled her nose. “Well . . . if you must know, I have to go.”

He frowned. “Go? I told you, wench, you can't leave my sight.”

She shook her head. “You're not coming with me, InuYasha. I'll be fine.”

He stomped after her. “And I said you can't be where I can't see you.”

“I'm not peeing in front of you!” she countered.

He made a face. “Then you're gonna keep talking the whole time,” he growled.

Suddenly, she grinned. “I thought you wish I didn't talk at all, dog-boy,” she remarked sweetly.

InuYasha pulled off his haori and slung it over her head before they stepped out into the rain. “Can't have you getting sick and slowing us down,” he explained when he caught her smile.

“I see,” she answered. “Wouldn't dream of it.”

“Good,” he replied as she started away. “I don't hear you talking!”

He heard her sigh and grinned despite himself.

“We're going to have to talk about this,” she called back to him. “I think you're being a little overprotective.”

He snorted. Overprotective, maybe. There were some risks, though, that he wasn't willing to take.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  I knew this `don't leave my sight' thing was a really bad idea …


	48. Insanity

 

~~ ** _Chapter 48_** ~~  
~ ** _Insanity_** ~

 

“So you've seen this youkai, then?” Miroku asked, a thoughtful frown furrowing his brow as he glanced from InuYasha to Kagome and back again.

“Hisadaicho, you said her name was?” Kaede added.

InuYasha nodded. “Yeah.”

“How did Sesshoumaru know her name?” Sango questioned.

Kagome glanced up from Marisaiko's face. “I wondered that, too,” she remarked. “It was odd . . .”

“Unless he's had dealings with her,” Miroku added.

Ichisaru hopped up on InuYasha's knee and sniffed his haori. “Why do you smell . . . weird?”

“Keh! Get off, ape-shit!” InuYasha snarled as he wiggled his knee to unseat the youkai.

“You smell like Oro did, some,” Ichisaru went on as he held onto fistfuls of the hanyou's hakama.

InuYasha raised his fist to thump the monkey youkai but stopped in mid-air. “What do you mean, Oro smelled like her?”

Ichisaru's little face paled when he caught sight of InuYasha's glower. “Just before he made me come after the jewel, he started smelling weird, too.”

“Perhaps Oro had something to do with her?” Miroku suggested slowly.

Kaede nodded. “That could be. Will ye and Kagome check into this, InuYasha?”

InuYasha stared over Sango's head at Kagome. “We'd better.”

“All right. I'd better go home, though. I need to get a few things, and I should check in with Mama.”

InuYasha didn't miss the slightly worried expression in her eyes. She'd purposefully avoided going home in time for the appointment with the psychiatrist, and the other times they'd gone back to her time had only been for very brief resupply visits. Kagome had only stayed home long enough to grab fresh clothes and go to the store, avoiding her mother as best as she could. He caught her gaze and nodded, trying to reassure her that he'd tell her mother that he didn't think she needed to go see this doctor.

It was true enough. Kagome seemed much more like her old self since the night she'd aired her feelings. She might not be completely at peace with everything but he didn't doubt for a moment that she was getting there.

He stood up. “All right, wench. Let's go.”

Kagome quickly kissed Marisaiko's cheek before handing the baby back to Sango. “Do you need anything for the baby?” she asked as she stood up.

Miroku grinned. “No, Kagome, but thanks. You've done so much already. She's fine.”

Kagome bent to hug Sango. “You're sure?”

“Well . . . maybe more of that baby bath? She really seems to like it, and I think it helps her sleep.”

Kagome nodded. “All right.”

“Come on, wench!” InuYasha called over his shoulder as he waited impatiently near the door.

Kagome rolled her eyes and followed him out into the overcast afternoon. “You don't have to come with me,” she pointed out as they headed toward the forest.

“Keh! I told you, you're not leaving my sight, not even in your time.”

“I'm fine there, you know,” she assured him.

“No arguments.”

She looked like she wanted to debate it more but she sighed instead, shaking her head as though she knew that it wouldn't do her a bit of good. “She's here, not there,” Kagome commented in a reasonable tone.

“It don't matter,” he told her. “She's not the only danger, remember?”

“I haven't seen any youkai in my time, either.”

“Oh? Then you don't remember the Noh mask? Or the Soul Piper? Or—”

She grabbed his arm with one hand and smashed her other over his mouth. “All right, you've made your point. Still, there aren't that many, and I've not seen any in a very long time.”

He pulled her hand away and scowled at her. “Too bad. You're my responsibility.”

She wrinkled her nose and let her hands drop away from him. “I hate that word,” Kagome admitted in a grumble.

“That's not what I meant, wench. I promised I'd protect you.”

Glancing up at the sky as a droplet of water hit her nose, Kagome grimaced. “Protect me, huh? Well, protect me from the rain, will you?”

InuYasha snorted but picked her up and sprinted toward the well, muttering under his breath about slow humans and wenches who only remembered promises when it suited them.

Kagome laughed and pulled herself up to kiss his cheek as he dropped into the Bone Eater's Well.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“She is so arrogant!” Jaken grumbled under his breath as he hurried into the dusky chamber. “Why do you allow her to stay?”

Sesshoumaru glanced down at the imp and narrowed his eyes as Jaken paled to a sallow shade of green.

Eyes bulging in panic, the lesser-youkai bowed repeatedly. “I apologize, Sesshoumaru-sama! I do not mean to question you!”

“What is it, Jaken?”

Jaken bowed once more for good measure before drawing himself up straight. “Kagura wishes to see you,” he informed his lord. “She is waiting in the garden.”

Sesshoumaru didn't respond as he strode toward the doors that opened onto the garden.

Standing in the middle of the path between rows of sakura trees, Kagura was staring at the setting sun.

“I don't recall seeing a sunset quite like this one,” she remarked softly without turning to look at him. “Or perhaps I never had the opportunity to watch one.”

“Did you request my presence to watch the sunset, Kagura?”

She chuckled softly. “Maybe I did . . .”

“There's a better place to watch it,” he answered as he stepped closer to her. “Would you like me to take you there?”

Finally turning to smile at him, Kagura nodded. “I would.”

She looked surprised when he wrapped Mokomoko-sama around her. Holding onto the end, he used it to hold her, cradled against his chest, and then he broke into a sprint.

Gasping as he raced over hills and through forests, as he vaulted over rivers and glided above treetops, Kagura's gaze tried to take in everything until she gave up and contented herself by staring at the youkai who held her.

He stopped on a cliff that stood higher than the trees, and after he set her back on her feet, he tugged the other end of the Mokomoko-sama free, letting her wrap herself in it; protection against the chill wind that blew against them.

She stared at the sinking sun with a gentle smile.

“Are you warm enough?” he asked, breaking the silence that had fallen.

She nodded. “The cold is beautiful. To _feel_ again . . . is beautiful.”

Sesshoumaru frowned. ` _She is my . . . equal . . . she is my match_ . . .' It didn't seem to matter anymore, that she was created as an incarnation of Naraku. It didn't seem important that she couldn't remember how she had been returned to the flesh. He'd realized too late what she meant to him before. To lose her twice would be unforgivable . . .

“You look so serious, Sesshoumaru,” she said as she turned to gaze at him. Concern furrowed her brow, added a darker hue to her magenta eyes.

“Stay with me, Kagura,” he whispered, lifting his hand to pull the Mokomoko-sama closer around her.

The brilliant light of happiness glowed in her eyes, an underlying seriousness as she nodded in silence.

“You are free to choose?”

She nodded again, blinking suddenly as a film of tears gathered in her stare. “I want to be.”

Tilting her chin with gentle fingers, Sesshoumaru dropped his lips over hers as the sun disappeared on the horizon.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

_Hesitating in the doorway, Kagome tried to smile as her mother looked up from the newspaper. “Kagome! I didn't hear you come in!” she said as she came around the table to hug her_.

_Shifting from one foot to the other, Kagome nervously shrugged. “I just got back_.”

“ _Is something wrong?_ ”

_Kagome shook her head then nodded as she sank down at the table_ _as InuYasha slipped into the kitchen to stand behind her_ _. “No . . . I just wanted to say . . . I'm sorry, Mama_ . . .”

_Mrs. Higurashi smiled. “It's okay, Kagome. I just worry about you. You are still my child_.”

_Kagome smiled, too. “I know . . . but I really am dealing with things better now_.”

_Mrs. Higurashi looked over Kagome's head and must have been reassured by something InuYasha did because her smile widened, and she nodded. “All right_.”

With a sigh, Kagome shook her head, clearing the memory from her mind as she leaned over the side of the tub to retrieve her towel. Standing up to get out of the bath and dry herself off, she wrapped her hair in a towel and grinned.

For once, InuYasha hadn't made a fuss about staying here for the night, and for that she was grateful. She'd almost forgotten what it was like, to sleep in a real bed. In fact, after she'd finally managed to talk him into lying down with her, he'd fallen fast asleep in minutes, which gave her the opportunity to slip away for a much-longed-for hot soaking.

Pulling on her pajamas, Kagome quickly brushed her teeth and ran her brush through her hair. She didn't dare stay gone too long. Knowing InuYasha, he'd start hollering if he woke up and she was gone . . .

Kagome opened the bathroom door and swallowed a tiny scream. InuYasha stood in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and a very irritated look on his face as he glowered down at her. “Kami, InuYasha!” she scolded as she smashed her fist over her heart. “You scared me half to death! Don't _do_ that!”

“I thought I told you, you're not allowed to go anywhere without me,” he growled, careful to keep his voice lowered so he didn't wake the rest of the house.

She restrained the desire to roll her eyes. “I just took a bath . . . you were sleeping, and I didn't want to wake you up.”

“Keh! Nice try, wench. You were supposed to be sleeping, too, remember?”

She made a face and edged past him. “I wasn't tired,” she explained as she headed toward the living room.

He snorted as he stomped after her. “We shook the vial, like we do every night before we go to sleep. You were trying to fool me.”

She forced a smile that she hoped looked innocent enough. “Why would I do that?”

He narrowed his gaze, and she knew he wasn't buying it. “Dunno . . . you tell me.”

She grimaced, giving up the lie for what it was as she leaned in closer to hiss at him, “Do you have any idea how . . . _wrong_ that would seem to my mother? It's one thing, in your time. There are dangers, and I know that. This is my time, though. Do you honestly think someone's going to break into the _bathroom?_ ”

“Things happen when you let your guard down,” he countered in a slightly louder hiss of his own.

“Not in my house, they don't!” she retaliated.

“Wench, we're not arguing this, got it?”

She planted her hands on her hips and glared at him. “Yes, I think we are!”

“I'm trying to keep you safe, damn it!”

Kagome growled in frustration. It was one thing to keep an eye on each other when they were traveling. It was another thing entirely, for him to be so obsessed that she couldn't even take a bath or use the bathroom without him insisting that she talk to him the entire time. As far as she was concerned, he was taking his protectiveness to a whole new—and very distressing—level. “I know that, and I adore you for it, but I'm telling you, I'm safe here, too!”

His ears twitched as his mouth snapped closed on whatever retort he'd been formulating. Eyes widening incredulously, he stared at her for several seconds as color slowly crept up his cheeks. “You . . . you . . . you do?”

She relented with a smile as her anger washed away as quickly as it had come. The vulnerability in his expression was enough to temper her irritation, and she cupped his cheeks in her hands. “You know I do, baka.”

He snorted though his color didn't wane. “Come on, wench. We've got to get an early start tomorrow.”

She shook her head but let InuYasha take her hand and drag her toward the stairs. “I hope Ichisaru remembers where they used to live,” she commented as he led the way up to her room.

“Yeah . . . I can always jog his memory,” InuYasha remarked as he cracked his knuckles.

Kagome shoved him lightly. “You will not! He's already half-scared of you.”

“Keh! Only half?”

Kagome sighed then giggled as she skirted past him. Pulling back her covers so she could climb into bed, she leaned on her elbow and watched as InuYasha sank down by the window, wrapping his arms around Tetsusaiga. “InuYasha?”

He peeked over at her.

“There's room up here, if you want to lie down.”

He snorted.

Kagome flicked off her lamp and rolled over. “All right,” she muttered. “I was just trying to be nice, but if you'd rather get a kink in your back from sleeping there, then that's fine, too . . .”

He heaved a long-suffering sigh. “If I lay down with you, will you be quiet?”

Kagome hid her smile in her pillow. “Sure.”

She heard the scrape as he leaned Tetsusaiga against the nightstand just before the bed sank next to her as he stretched out. In the end, he was the one who broke the silence. “This is weird.”

“What is?”

The room was so quiet that she could hear herself blink as she waited for him to answer. “The last time I slept next to anyone was when Mother was still alive,” he admitted at last. “I forgot . . .”

Kagome rolled over and stared at his profile in the darkness. Etched in silvery moonlight, the golden pools of his eyes seemed to be misted over, as though he were seeing the past, and the sadness surrounding him made her want to cry.

“I forgot what it was like, to have someone this close to me.”

Kagome swallowed hard, blinking quickly to hold back her tears. “InuYasha?”

He shifted his gaze to meet hers.

“I . . . I'll never let you forget that again.”

He reached over and pulled her against his chest, her cheek against his heart. “Good night, Kagome.”

She snuggled closer, willing him to remember those feelings he'd forgotten. “Good night, InuYasha.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Are you sure you can't just leave me in the forest nearby?”

Kagome patted the monkey youkai's head. “It'll be fine, Ichisaru. InuYasha won't let anything happen to you.”

Peeking up at the hanyou, Ichisaru shook his head slowly. “Oro's scary, sometimes,” he whispered as he hopped up onto Kagome's shoulder.

She grinned. “Scarier than InuYasha?”

“Keh! I heard that, wench,” InuYasha grouched.

Ichisaru was shaking. His hands trembled as he tightened his grip on her blouse. “Much scarier . . .” the monkey youkai told her. “And much _bigger_.”

“Oi!” InuYasha exclaimed as he tried to grab the youngster. Ichisaru hopped onto Kagome's other shoulder.

“And meaner,” Ichisaru explained.

“What do you mean by that?” Kagome pressed gently.

Ichisaru shook his head. “He used to get real mad at me. If I didn't get enough food from the farmers, or if he caught me playing . . . he hit me and stuff.”

“Ichisaru . . .” Kagome trailed off, wanting to comfort him yet unsure what to say.

“I hit you,” InuYasha pointed out. Kagome glanced at him and was surprised to see a thoughtful frown on his face.

Ichisaru nodded slowly. “Yeah, but when you do, it's because I deserve it, and it doesn't hurt . . . not really . . .”

“Don't worry about it, ape-shit. Oro won't lay a fucking hand on you, ever again.”

Ichisaru's blue eyes rounded in wonder as he stared at InuYasha. “You . . . you mean it?”

“Keh. I said it, didn't I? Now stop worrying about it.”

Catching the smile, the tender look Kagome sent him, InuYasha quickly turned away, stuffing his arms together up his sleeves as fought back the pink that tinged his skin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  Now where is that damn human, Oro?


	49. Confronting Madness

 

~~ ** _Chapter 49_** ~~  
~ ** _Confronting Madness_** ~

 

“You're sure this is the place, ape-shit?”

Ichisaru nodded, swallowing hard, as he peeked out from under InuYasha's hair. “Yeah.”

InuYasha pulled Ichisaru off his shoulder and set him on the ground. “Stay here, runt.”

Ichisaru nodded again and scampered behind a rain-collection barrel near the door.

InuYasha pushed aside the tattered bamboo mat that hung over the doorway. “Ugh!” he gasped, lifting his sleeve to cover his nose and mouth as Kagome shrank back. The stench in the hut was enough to choke him, the mix of various human secretions and rotting meat was enough to turn his stomach as his senses rebelled against the odious fumes. Spotting the solid mass of Oro's body in the rancid, reeking hut, InuYasha took a deep breath and held it as he darted inside and dragged the man out.

Oro's muddy gaze was vacant, demented. His clothing was literally rotting away from his body, and InuYasha had to retreat a few steps since the perfidious odor seemed to cling to the man's frame. Kagome uttered a noise, almost a whimper, as she buried her face in the back of InuYasha's haori.

“What the hell happened to him?” InuYasha muttered.

Oro sat up slowly, a strangely demented grin surfacing on his face, a dribble of spit hanging from his lip. “She's dead. I killed her . . . but she isn't dead . . . she lives . . . in my dreams . . .”

Kagome gasped. “He's insane,” she whispered in a hiss.

Ichisaru whimpered, peeking out from behind the barrel. “What's wrong with him?” he squeaked.

InuYasha made a face. He recognized Oro, all right. ` _He's the human who had attacked us near the well_ . . .' Oro had wasted away to about half the size he had been . . . if he kept it up, he'd die of starvation . . . or madness . . .

“He ain't gonna give us any answers,” InuYasha snorted. “He don't even know we're here.”

Kagome nodded as the hanyou turned to stare at Ichisaru. “What do you want me to do with him?”

Ichisaru looked confused and shook his head.

“If we leave him like this, he'll die,” InuYasha pointed out. “I don't think he can be saved. I'm asking you, what do you want me to do with him.”

Ichisaru shook his head again. “I . . . I don't know . . .”

“Listen. I could end it for him now. It'd probably be the nicest thing . . . or I could find him some food, clean him up a little. You gotta decide,” InuYasha explained.

Ichisaru frowned as he dashed a quick hand over his eyes. “Well, I . . . I mean, he . . . he was mean to me, but . . .”

“InuYasha . . .” Kagome said softly. “I don't think Ichisaru can choose . . .”

InuYasha shook his head. “He's got to. He's as close to kin as Oro has. It's his choice.”

Ichisaru nodded. “I . . . I don't want you to kill him,” he muttered. “Just . . . I can't . . .”

InuYasha's brow furrowed as he stared at Oro once more. “If you're sure,” he agreed finally as he braced himself before grabbing the man and hefting him over his shoulder. “Ichisaru, keep an eye on Kagome, will you? She's just a human, after all.”

Ichisaru nodded, a determined look coming over his features as he proudly stood up. “All right.”

With that, InuYasha headed for the nearby stream.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome smiled as she tucked a blanket around the sleeping monkey youkai. InuYasha sat in the branches of a nearby tree, idly turning Tetsusaiga as he stared at it in the firelight. She turned to gaze up at him as her smile dimmed but didn't disappear. InuYasha intercepted her expression and hopped down.

“You knew he wouldn't choose to kill Oro, didn't you?”

InuYasha shrugged. “He's just a pup. I didn't figure he would.”

“He's not going to get any better . . . he's too far gone for that.”

“The butterfly's toxin drove him crazy.”

Kagome watched as InuYasha sank down by the fire, an almost sad light behind his gaze. ` _He's wondering if that would have happened to him, isn't he? If we hadn't been able to stop his dreams_ . . .'

“He . . . uh . . . killed her . . . you know? The one he dreams about,” InuYasha finally said.

Kagome nodded as she knelt beside him. “Yeah . . . he said something about it.”

InuYasha shook his head. “No, that ain't it. He spoke some, when I was washing him off. He said . . . he said she didn't love him, so he . . . he killed her.”

“He'll die, won't he?” Kagome asked softly. “It can't be helped.”

InuYasha didn't answer right away. Staring into the fire as he slowly shook his head again, the hanyou shrugged as weariness stole over his features. “Yeah, he will.”

“Still . . . I'm glad you didn't kill him.”

“It was up to Ichisaru.”

Kagome shrugged. “Maybe, but you knew what he'd choose.”

InuYasha didn't deny that. “It might have been kinder to have killed him.”

Kagome let her chin drop on her raised knees as she stared at the fire but didn't really see it. “But you didn't want to do it, did you?”

His voice was low when he spoke again, almost a whisper as he sighed. “What if . . . I kept wondering . . . what if I . . . ?”

“Would you have ended up like him, you mean?” she asked when he trailed off. She shook her head as she turned to face him. “You wouldn't have, you know. I wouldn't let you.”

He managed a small smile but his eyes still showed his upset.

Kagome pushed his bangs out of his eyes. “It wasn't an easy choice, was it?”

Shifting this gaze to the sleeping monkey youkai, InuYasha made a disgusted face. “What Oro did to him wasn't forgivable, but what he got . . . I think that was worse.”

Kagome stared at him for several moments, a wan smile touching her lips as she nodded. “You've changed, InuYasha. You've changed a lot.”

“Keh. And what does that mean?”

She grabbed his hand, tangled her fingers with his. “It's not bad . . .”

He turned away as she discerned a hint of a flush rising on his cheeks. “Keh. Whatever.”

Kagome shook her head and stared down at her hand, still nestled in his. She and Ichisaru had cleaned the tiny hut as best as they could while InuYasha took Oro to the stream. The debilitating odors permeated everything, including the walls and the wooden platform around the small fire pit, and in the end, the best she'd been able to do was to gather some fragrant herbs to try to mask some of the smells. At least InuYasha hadn't been as horribly affected by the stench as he had been when they'd arrived.

Kagome frowned, recalling the sadness on Ichisaru's little face as he stared at his former master's wasted body, gaunt face, the vacant eyes that lolled in eye sockets that seemed owlish. She couldn't begin to fathom what the child was thinking. After everything was said and done, perhaps Ichisaru couldn't help but think of the human as a surrogate father. She knew that she was fortunate. Her mother was kind and gentle. Her father had been that way, too. Unfortunately, she'd also seen children whose parents were cruel or uncaring yet it never seemed to matter. In their hearts they still loved their parents, and even if Ichisaru knew he was an orphan, did that really matter?

“He'll be fine,” InuYasha said softly. Kagome blinked away the memory as she turned to stare at him. He was gazing at her in the firelight, his expression serious, almost sad. “He's got a place to belong.”

Kagome smiled. “He does, doesn't he?”

InuYasha snorted as he shifted his gaze back to the fire again. “Keh. Worst that'll happen is that he turns into a fucking lecher.”

Kagome giggled and let her temple fall against his shoulder. “You should be more optimistic. It's not like Miroku's contagious.”

InuYasha snorted again as he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her a little closer. They sat in companionable silence, listening to the sounds of the forest.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Ichisaru laid on his stomach with his chin propped on his hands, legs crossed at the ankles as he stared at the bird's nest with a thoughtful frown.

“Come on, ape-shit! We've got a long way to go today, so get moving.”

Ichisaru peered down from his perch on the branch and cocked his head to the side. “InuYasha? Why are these babies in eggs? Marisaiko didn't come out of an egg.”

Kagome, who had been rolling up her sleeping bag, suddenly stopped and sucked in a sharp breath.

“Ask Miroku when we get back,” InuYasha snarled, fighting to keep hot color from flooding his face. “He's the pervert. He'll be happy to explain all that.”

Ichisaru scratched his head as his frown turned into a scowl. “I only asked—”

“I know what you asked,” InuYasha broke in. “I also know I ain't answering that.”

A look of sudden understanding surfaced on the youkai's face. “Oh, I get it! You don't know why, right?”

InuYasha snapped his mouth closed on his retort and shrugged. “Keh. Let's go.”

Ichisaru hopped down and ran along in front of the two as InuYasha shouldered the backpack. Kagome walked beside him. Staring ahead at the youngster, she leaned toward InuYasha to whisper, “You don't _really_ know why, do you?”

“Nope,” he answered. “Do you?”

She shrugged. “Not in the least . . .”

“ _Ah!_ ” Ichisaru shrieked as he ran back as fast as he could. Scampering up InuYasha's leg, pausing only to change to the hanyou's arm, the monkey youkai didn't stop until he was hidden under the mass of silvery hair with his tail wrapped around InuYasha's neck. “It's _her!_ ”

InuYasha stopped and grabbed Kagome's arm. “Are you sure?” he asked Ichisaru.

The monkey youkai was shaking so badly that his voice was shaking when he spoke. “Yeah . . . I'm sure . . .”

“InuYasha?” Kagome murmured as she stepped back. Staring ahead at the darkened forest, she sensed the other presence that InuYasha could smell. “Can you—?”

“Kouga.”

“What's he doing?”

InuYasha shook his head as he pulled her onto his back and ran forward. “I don't know, but I'm going to find out.”

Breaking into the clearing, InuYasha stopped and stared as Kouga stood with a snarl on his face as he glowered at the fake Kagome. “Hisadaicho,” he muttered as anger welled up in him, too. Kagome slid off his back. Ichisaru hopped over to her shoulder as InuYasha dragged out Tetsusaiga with a flourish. “Bitch!” he bellowed as he leveled the sword at Hisadaicho.

“Back off, mutt-face. This is my battle.”

“It's InuYasha!” Hakkaku exclaimed, obviously relieved to see the hanyou.

Hisadaicho threw her head back and laughed. “InuYasha, what a pleasant surprise. Do you wish to have that kiss now?”

“Keh! Shut the fuck up!”

The two lesser-wolf-youkai ran over to Kagome. “Sister! Kouga wants to kill her, but he can't! If he does—”

InuYasha's eyes widened. “Kouga, are you fucking stupid? _You_ can't kill her!”

“I told you to stay out of this, dog-shit!” Kouga snarled.

InuYasha shot forward and slammed Tetsusaiga down in front of Kouga. “Don't be an idiot, Kouga! You can't kill your mate, remember?”

Hisadaicho's laughter escalated. “Ah . . . the ancient youkai laws . . . that's right . . . if you do, then you die, too.”

Kouga growled and shoved InuYasha aside. “This is _my_ business. No one makes a fool of me and lives!”

“I'll kill her,” InuYasha informed him. “Just stand back and watch.”

“You can't kill me, InuYasha,” Hisadaicho assured him. “You can't kill the one you love, now can you?”

“Shut the hell up!” he growled as he shot forward, raising Tetsusaiga as he leapt into the air.

“You promised you'd protect me, InuYasha!” Hisadaicho screamed.

InuYasha abruptly dropped to the ground as Kagome's stricken face stared at him.

“She's trying to fool you, InuYasha!” the real Kagome screamed.

` _Damn it! It doesn't matter that I know she's a fake! Fuck! I . . . I_ can't . . .'

“Your emotions are so simple to manipulate,” Hisadaicho taunted. “Why is that, InuYasha? This human girl . . . she is so precious to you, isn't she? And you dare to believe that she can love a poor little puppy like you?” The taunting smile disappeared as a look of complete revulsion surfaced. “You disgust me, InuYasha. You filthy, tainted hanyou. How can you possibly think that I could ever love someone as repulsive as you?”

“ _Shut up!_ ” Kagome screamed as she nocked back an arrow. “Shut up now!”

InuYasha slowly stood up, furiously trying to brush aside the venomous words that the fake Kagome had spewed at him. ` _Kagome . . . she doesn't think that_ _. . ._ _Does she?_ ' He shook his head. ` _Keh! She's fucking with your mind, baka!_ ' With a menacing growl, InuYasha shot forward again.

Hisadaicho hopped back before he reached her, her laughter filling the air like a toxic fume.

“Talk about hanyous,” Kouga snarled as he shot past InuYasha. “You're one, too! I can smell it on you, bitch!”

Kagome loosened her arrow. The flash of pink split the air like a light from heaven, like a shooting star during the day. Hisadaicho saw the arrow just before it struck, and she fell back to avoid it as Kouga bellowed a curse and sprang back. The arrow grazed Hisadaicho's cheek as a flashback of Kikyou's arrow zipped through Kagome's mind—of the time Kikyou had done the same to her and had stolen the jewel shards she and the others had fought so hard to collect. Why she remembered that, she wasn't sure. Kagome shook her head and pulled out another arrow.

Hisadaicho leapt back, landing on the cliff behind her. “Careful, little human. I still need you. We wouldn't want you to die before I get what I require, would we?”

Kagome pulled back on the arrow and took aim. “Need me? Why?”

“Why, indeed? I grow bored with the lot of you, and so I shall be on my way. Farewell.”

Her eyes widened in understanding, and she gasped softly as her bow lowered just a little. “She's the evil, InuYasha! The one Old Seer warned us about!”

Hisadaicho's paused, hearing Kagome's words. “Old Seer? Perhaps I should pay this woman a visit . . .”

“No!” Kagome screamed as she fired her arrow. Hisadaicho jumped back again, out of view.

“Damn it, dog-shit! I almost had her!” Kouga bellowed as he rounded on InuYasha.

InuYasha glared at Kouga as he stomped past him toward Kagome. “Keh! I should have let you kill her then. One less fucking bastard in the world.”

“What are they talking about?” Kagome asked Ginta and Hakkaku as InuYasha and Kouga continued their argument.

“A youkai cannot kill his mate. It is punishable by death. The tai-youkai would kill him.”

“The tai-youkai?”

Hakkaku made a face. “InuYasha's half-brother . . . he's tai-youkai.”

Kagome gasped. “Sesshoumaru?”

Ginta grimaced. “He's sort of scary, huh, Hakkaku?”

Hakkaku looked like he agreed but didn't answer.

Kouga stomped away from InuYasha. “Come on, you two! She can't have gotten far, and we're going after her.” He turned to glare back at InuYasha once more. “Stay outta my way, mutt! You can't even fight her! Just take care of Kagome. I'll take care of that conniving bitch.”

“Shut the hell up, you mangy wolf!” InuYasha snarled as Kouga dashed toward the cliff where Hisadaicho had disappeared.

“Kouga!” Kagome called after him. “You can't!”

Kouga waved over his shoulder. “Later, Kagome! I'll take care of her.”

“But—!”

“Save your breath,” InuYasha told her as he put away his sword. “He's made his choice.”

“InuYasha . . .”

He wouldn't look at her, and he shook his head stubbornly. “Come on. We're almost to the village, and we need to get to Old Seer, too.”

Kagome sighed and nodded. She had a feeling he had listened to Hisadaicho's words, and somewhere deep inside, maybe a part of him believed her.

She stared at his back as they walked. Straight, proud, InuYasha didn't look back at her, and she could feel in her heart that he was trying to distance himself from her. ` _InuYasha . . . it's not true_ . . .'

“What's wrong with him?” Ichisaru asked quietly.

Kagome forced a smile. “He's got a lot on his mind, is all.”

Ichisaru accepted her answer. “He's sad because of what that woman said, isn't he?”

Kagome swallowed a lump that rose to choke her. “Yeah . . . yeah, he is.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Ichisaru:**  
>  InuYasha can't fight her?


	50. Evening Shadows

 

~~ ** _Chapter 50_** ~~  
~ ** _Evening Shadows_** ~

 

The whispering wind brought an unfamiliar resonance to the peaceful field. ` _So . . . she comes_.'

It didn't come as a surprise to her. She had foreseen this.

“Old woman, I hear you've been meddling with things that aren't your affair.”

Old Seer turned slowly, regarded the stranger without fear. The gnarled cane thumped the ground as she hobbled forward, reaching out a gaunt finger as the light of recognition ignited in her faded eyes. “I know you . . . I remember you . . .”

The woman smiled insincerely. “You may remember a ghost, but you have never met me before. Tell me why you seek to interfere in my concerns.”

“Emi . . . but you disappeared years ago . . . what have you become?” Old Seer demanded, voice commanding, chiding, accusing.

“Emi?” she echoed with a condescending flick of her wrist. “That name means nothing to me. I am Hisadaicho. Emi is dead.”

Nodding slowly, Old Seer smiled. “I see now . . . You traded your soul for this vile power, didn't you? And what is it you hope to gain?”

Hisadaicho returned the tight smile. “I will have everything, but you . . . you shouldn't have meddled in my affairs.”

Old Seer shook her head. “How did I meddle? I recall nothing that was a concern of yours.”

“InuYasha and his miko . . . What did you tell them?”

“Are you responsible for the evil aura that taints the Shikon no Tama?” Old Seer countered.

Hisadaicho didn't answer as she deliberately walked toward the old woman's hut. Touching the old structure that hadn't changed, stroking the rough wooden wall, her nimble fingers danced over the edifice. “I am not.”

“But you know who is, don't you, Emi?”

Whirling around, irate fire snapping in her gaze, Hisadaicho demanded, “Stop calling me that! Emi is dead! She died long ago! I'm not the same little girl you used to order around.”

“And what happened to that little girl? What have you done to her?”

“Does it matter?”

Old Seer nodded again. “No . . . I suppose it doesn't.” The woman's eyes clouded over, as though she were looking to the past. The little girl, so shy and sweet, eager to please, more eager to learn . . . How had the sweet child she'd known become this creature?

Hisadaicho turned suddenly, stared at Old Seer with an almost sad expression, an unearthly glow in her lavender eyes. “I don't want to kill you, old woman. For whatever it's worth, I do retain fond memories of that time in my evolution. Take care to keep your information to yourself.”

“I have been blessed with the sight, Emi. I have not the right to be selective about who seeks my council. If they return, if they ask, I cannot withhold what I know. If you mean to kill me, Emi, then do it now, and kami forgive you for what you've become.”

Hisadaicho forced a chuckle. Old Seer pretended not to have seen the spark of indecision in her eyes. “Your heart bleeds, old woman. Don't make me come back again.”

Old Seer watched as Hisadaicho strode back toward the trees. ` _Emi . . . what have you done, and to what end?_ '

Something tainted, something vile . . . the girl she used to be and the being she had become . . . who had done this to her?

“ _He cares for me! Can't you see that?” Emi had told her, tears standing in her eyes as she silently begged Old Seer to understand_.

“ _Your parents brought you here to learn how to use your gift, child. You must stay here!_ ”

“ _I won't! He bade me come to him, and I . . . I'm going_.”

“ _Emi! If you leave . . . if you go_ . . .”

“ _Goodbye, Old Seer. I'm . . . I'm sorry_.”

_And she watched her walk away, disappearing into the same forest_.

As the reverie faded, Old Seer shook her head as a wealth of sadness washed over her faded gaze. Rumors floated on the winds, came with the bitterest of ironies even to her, secluded in this meadow. The same night that Emi had left, Old Seer had awakened from a restless vision in a cold sweat as the cries of countless people rang out, the voice too weak for normal men to discern. Old Seer had heard this, and she knew. It had been the sound of souls leaving this plane for another, and the despair in their spirits had lingered.

And somehow, she'd known that this had something to do with Emi, but she never knew how . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome sat on a rock staring at the stars as InuYasha stomped around a thick tree. Stopping now and again to glare up into the empty branches, his scowl darkened each time he looked. By the time Kagome rolled her eyes and cleared her throat to draw his attention, his eyes were narrowed to thin slits, and his mouth was drawn back in a completely harmless-looking grimace since his fangs were gone for the night, along with his silvery hair, his claws, his dog ears, and his glowing eyes.

“You could climb up there,” she ventured in what she hoped was a casual tone.

He snorted. “Keh! And if I fell out, I'd probably break my fucking human back.”

“Or you could sit down and talk to me,” she added, ignoring his tirade.

He didn't respond to that. Kagome stifled a sigh. She knew what was bothering him. She also knew he'd bite off his own tongue before he'd willingly talk about it, too.

` _You disgust me, InuYasha. You filthy, tainted hanyou. How can you possibly think that I could ever love someone as repulsive as you?_ '

He knew she'd been right there, and he knew that she hadn't said that, at all. Still, in his mind, he had seen those words come out of her mouth, even if the one who uttered the baseless lies was just using the toxin to her own advantage. Problem was, Kagome knew—just _knew_ —that InuYasha hadn't been able to brush the words off as the lies they were. How had Hisadaicho known exactly what she could say that would hurt him the worst, and more to the point, how could Kagome convince him she hadn't ever thought that?

He'd been so quiet since the confrontation in the woods. Kagome hadn't said a word when he announced that they were taking Ichisaru back to the village instead of pursuing Hisadaicho. She knew why he chose that. She knew that his main concern was coming true. Even with her beside him, he hadn't been able to fight Hisadaicho because when he looked at her . . .

` _He sees me . . . and he can't hurt me, can he?_ '

She sighed again. As much as she loved that about him, in this case, if he couldn't fight against Hisadaicho, how would they defeat her?

Kaede's words echoed through her mind. ` _Then ye know . . . the other way to break the toxin would be for the two of ye to act out his . . . dreams_.'

` _But . . . he won't tell you exactly what he dreams which probably means_ . . .' she winced as her cheeks shot up in a hot flush. ` _If he . . . if_ we . . . _would that really be so bad?_ '

She made a face and straightened her skirt, staring at her lap and thanking her lucky stars that InuYasha was human and wouldn't be able to sense her discomfort quite so easily. ` _But . . . even if he would tell me . . . is that really a reason to do . . . that?_ '

Shaking her head quickly, Kagome pushed that question aside for the moment. ` _First things first. How do I get him to talk? Or at least to listen_ . . .'

“InuYasha?”

Still glaring up at the tree almost as if he thought that the tree was mocking him, he didn't spare her a glance as he glowered into the darkness. “What?”

Brushing off his brusque tone, Kagome forced a happy tone when she started speaking again. “You can stand my company for one evening, right? I get a little lonely, when you're being so quiet.”

That got his attention. Turning his glare onto her, he blinked a few times before answering. “Oh? I'll _do_ for the night, you mean? Keh!”

“I didn't mean anything like that,” she assured him quickly. “It's just . . . you've been really quiet since—”

“I ain't got nothing to say,” he growled. He made a face and stomped over to her as he dragged the vial out of his undershirt and shoved it under her nose.

She shoved it away as she shot to her feet and grabbed her backpack.

“Oi! You can't ignore this!” he called after her.

“I'm not,” she argued. “I'll shake it in a minute.”

Mumbling under his breath, he clomped over and scowled down at her, arms crossed in the sleeves of his haori as he tried to see what she was digging for.

She dragged out her deck of playing cards and closed the bag before heading over to her bedroll to sit down. “Come on, InuYasha. Since you can't climb the tree, you can humor me for the night.”

“I _ain't_ doing it,” he growled stubbornly.

“Stop being a grouch and come here.”

He wrinkled his nose and didn't move. “We can't play cards, wench. You don't have any pocky.”

She grinned since that was what they normally used when playing poker. “We'll play for something else.”

She didn't look at him as she hid a wider smile. If he had his hanyou ears, she knew they'd be twitching. As it was, he snorted very loudly before he gave in and strode over to her. Grudging curiosity surfaced on his features, and Kagome had to quickly duck her head again before she burst out laughing. Given his current mood, he'd have ended up climbing that tree, she knew it.

“What do you think we're playing for, then?” he finally forced himself to ask.

“Easy. Whoever wins gets to ask a question, and the loser has to answer. Honestly,” she told him.

He considered that. “So . . . you're saying that _when_ I win since you _never_ do, that I get to ask you anything at all, and you have to answer it truthfully?”

She made a face. “Sure . . . and when _I_ win, you have to do the same.”

He snorted to let her know what he thought the odds of that happening were. “Deal the cards, wench.”

` _Now . . . if he'd just ask me_ . . .'

Kagome dealt the cards and picked up her hand, eyes widening in surprise as she realized she had two pairs, twos and tens.

She could feel InuYasha's gaze. He dropped three cards. Kagome handed him three more and narrowed her gaze. He didn't even blink, and she muttered under her breath as she discarded one card and drew another. Another ten. ` _Wow! A full house!_ ' she thought as she struggled to hold onto a straight expression.

InuYasha shook his head and made an exaggerated show of staring at his cards. “Show your hand, wench.”

Kagome proudly held out hand. “Full house, dog-boy!”

He snorted and lowered his hand, too. “I win.”

She gaped at the royal flush. “I should have known,” she grumbled as she grabbed his cards and started shuffling again.

“Oi! I get to ask my question now, right?”

Kagome shrugged. “All right. Go ahead.”

He pondered a moment, as though he were trying to figure out exactly what he did want to ask. She blinked in surprise when a tell-tale flush crept over his features. He shook his head. “I'll save my question for later,” he finally decided.

“That's not how it's played,” she complained as she dealt the next hand. ` _What was he thinking? Why did he blush?_ '

“You didn't specify,” he argued.

“Hmm . . .”

“Come on, wench. You wanted to play this stupid game, not me.”

She shook her head. “You're hopeless.”

“And you're stalling.”

Kagome discarded two and drew two more. ` _Three_ _queens_ _. . . okay, not bad_.'

InuYasha got three cards and stared at them a moment before slowly raising his eyes to meet hers without a change in his scowling expression. “What do you have?”

Kagome shrugged. “I'll bet your question that I'll beat you this time.”

His eyebrows shot up just before his frown grew suspicious. “That sure of yourself, are you?”

“Sure,” she assured him. “Double or nothing, InuYasha. Come on . . . are you in?”

He snorted. “Keh! You never beat me, and you ain't got a thing to offer for my question.”

She grinned. “Hmm . . . I'll owe you another favor?”

He considered that for a moment then nodded. “All right. You'll just have to answer more questions, and you'll owe me another favor, then.”

Again Kagome discarded two cards and drew, remembering just before she shrieked happily that doing so would tip him off, if her expression didn't, as she stared at the fourth queen. Carefully blanking her features, Kagome waited patiently for InuYasha to decide what he wanted to do.

He tossed down two cards and took the ones she handed him without taking his eyes off her. “Show your cards, Kagome.”

With a triumphant giggle, she spread her cards on the bedroll. InuYasha's eyes widened in surprise. “ _Four_ queens?” he growled with a consternated frown. “Did you cheat?”

“I don't cheat!” she shot back. “Don't be a sore loser!”

“Keh!”

“What did you have?” she asked.

He glanced at his cards again then folded them. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” she echoed. “You were bluffing?”

He snorted. “Keh! No. I didn't have anything to beat that.”

She eyed him suspiciously as he made a face. “All right, already. Ask your questions, will you?” he grumbled.

Kagome sighed, deliberately taking her time as she straightened the stack of cards and set them on the blanket. “Those things Hisadaicho said . . . you don't really think I feel that way, do you?” she asked quietly.

“Hell, no,” he growled. “She was just trying to get to me.”

She winced inwardly at the vehemence in his tone. She recognized it only too well. ` _He_ does _believe it. I knew it_ . . .' Clearing her throat, she tried to find a way to tell him that it wasn't true at all. “I . . . I don't think that . . . I never have. You know that, right?”

InuYasha shrugged. “Keh. It don't matter.”

“It does,” she argued. “I don't ever want you to think that, because it isn't true.”

He made a face and started to stand up. Kagome caught his hand. “Wait . . . you have to listen to me.”

Though his look was one of his more stubborn expressions, he sat down slowly and waited for her to continue.

“It's not true. Nothing she said to you was true . . . I just want you to believe it.”

“Can we talk about something else?”

She shook her head. “Not until you believe me.”

“Keh! Fine,” he growled as his ears turned slightly red.

“You said you wanted to take care of me, remember? What did you mean?”

InuYasha scrunched his nose up as he leaned back, jamming his hand up his haori sleeves. “What do you think I meant?”

Kagome smiled. “I know what I _wanted_ you to mean . . . is that . . . is that what you did mean?”

He shot to his feet and rummaged around before dropping another log onto the already-bright fire. “I don't wanna talk about this anymore.”

` _He's so stubborn! He says I talk too much_ _, but he . . . he doesn't talk enough_ . . .' Kagome stood up and followed him as he paced around the fire.

“Knock that off!” he complained after a few minutes of her silent shadowing. “Keh! I ain't leaving! You don't have to follow me around like—”

Garnering all her courage to the sticking point, Kagome twisted her hands together, closed her eyes, and forced herself to say, “Kiss me.”

He stopped dead in his tracks. “Wh-what?”

Steeling her resolve before she gave in to the desire to run and hide, Kagome opened her eyes and stood her ground as he slowly turned to face her. “I said, kiss me.”

She could see the emotions warring in him. They all crested in his gaze. Staring at her, the light of the fire made his eyes darker, more mysterious. Cautious hope, a quiet need, a burning intensity that conflicted with a pleading desperation, and she knew that look. She'd seen it often enough. She couldn't remember the first time she'd noticed it. In his introspective moments that he tried so hard to hide, she'd seen the same expression on his face, the war of the two parts of him that just wanted to belong somewhere, with someone—with her.

“All right,” she gave in with a soft sigh and a shake of her head. “If you won't, then I guess I have to.”

Before he could ask her what she meant, she leaned against him, pushed herself onto her tiptoes, pulled his face down to meet hers as she pressed her lips to his. His gasp was sharp, harsh, echoing around them as it echoed in the snapping blaze of the fire. Her gasp followed his as he wrapped his arms around her, dragged her closer, nearer, flush against him. If she thought that she would have to coax him out of his irritation to get him to comply, she was wrong. His tongue nudged her lips open, flicked into her mouth as shocking waves of molten heat ravaged her body.

Unbridled longing raged through him, culminated in a tremble, a barely repressed aggression. Igniting sparks that roared to life, she could hear the blood pounding through her, as though every part of her wanted to merge into him, to shelter his vulnerability, to protect and harbor the fragile heart that he tried so hard to hide.

She wrapped her hands around fistfuls of his clothing, clinging to him as he left her breathless with his kisses. Struggling to keep up, unable to do more than accept what he gave, Kagome sighed against him, willed him to understand what her soul was trying to say. Mind reeling as emotion flowed like honey, as her quickened heartbeat thundered in her ears.

He was everything to her. The darkness of his youki surrendered to the light of his humanity while the middle ground was the man, her champion. The one who protected her, the one who showed her every day how much he had to offer was the same being, the one she relied on. The brush of his lips against her jaw, the solace of his tongue on her skin . . . the inane whispers that were broken entreaties offered up in her name, in his voice. Somewhere between her soul and his, between the setting sun when shadows fell and his youkai receded, and the stillness of the moonless night, her answers were unvoiced promises, the bond, the pact, the seal was a kiss.

` _I love him_ ,' she thought dizzily as his lips nuzzled in the hollows of her throat. Eyes closed, brows drawn together as the intensity of the absolute sensation ripped through her, she managed a little smile at herself. She opened her mouth to tell him, tried to give sound to the words. A strangled cry escaped instead as his hand closed over her breast, and the words fell away.

She vaguely realized as he backed her up, hazily understood the sense of movement, of sinking. Suddenly, she felt the unforgiving ground beneath her, the warmth of the blankets, the heat and weight of InuYasha's body on hers. A welcome pressure surged as he brought his lips to hers once more, a beautiful burgeoning as she held him close. His fingers tangled in her hair as his other hand fumbled with the bottom of her blouse.

A wash of heat, a burst of light, an energy that surrounded them both crackled in the air as Kagome arched her back, pressed against him. He was close but still too far. His hand brushed over her belly, setting off tremors, eliciting moans. She couldn't think, couldn't breathe. The only thing she knew was that she wanted him closer, needed to feel his skin, needed to touch him . . .

Pushing his haori and undershirt away, he hissed as her hands pressed against his chest. Running her hands along the silken vales, the curves of skin over tight muscles, she marveled at the way his body shuddered, delighted in his reactions as he held himself completely still. Whether it was for her or for himself, she didn't know. It was enough that she could touch him, and his stunted breaths, rasping, harsh, were somehow soothing just the same. His heartbeat hammered under her palm as every living, breathing moment culminated in him. Her reason, her sanity, her reality was him, and in that moment, in that space, he was everything, he was the only thing that mattered, and she touched him.

` _He's . . . beautiful_ ,' she mused, eyes half-open as she stared at him. His hair dragged against her, tickling her cheeks, his eyes were squeezed closed. Nimble fingers roaming a playground of flesh, across his shoulders, down the vale over his heart, she was relentless, tender, demanding. He looked like he was in pain, and she frowned, reaching up to touch his face, her fingers trembling but gentle. “InuYasha?”

He swallowed hard, opening his eyes to stare at the vial dangling above her. “I . . . we . . . Damn it!”

Rolling off her as he straightened his clothing with unsteady hands, InuYasha dragged in a deep breath, letting his head fall back as he stared at the sky.

She was slower to sit up. Trying to ignore the unbalance in her equilibrium, Kagome tamped down the bitter disappointment that ate at her. “Did I . . . hurt you?”

He couldn't quite manage one of his caustic snorts. “No.”

“Good . . .”

He heaved a sigh and raised his head to look at her for a moment before he held out the talisman.

She shook it the requisite number of times and let it drop from her fingers. “What's wrong?”

He winced. “We can't . . . especially not tonight.”

“Okay,” she agreed with a confused shake of her head. Another thought crossed her mind, and Kagome felt her cheeks heat up. “If this is about . . . what I said before . . . I . . . you were right. I was trying to replace Marisaiko. I don't want to do that. The last time I went to the doctor, I got a Depo-Provera shot . . . so I can't get pregnant.”

He didn't look like he understood what she meant. She made a face as she tried to keep the embarrassment out of her tone. “I took some medicine so I can't get pregnant right now,” she tried to clarify.

That seemed to confuse him even more, and that confusion warred with his own awkwardness as his face took on a deeper red hue. “What do you mean, you can't . . . you can't control that!”

“Nowadays we can,” she explained. “There are certain hormones . . . never mind. I just . . . I can't.”

“Keh. You don't need to,” he grumbled as he glanced around, everywhere but directly at her.

She narrowed her gaze on him. “What do you mean, I don't need to?” she asked, unable to keep the reticence out of her tone.

He sighed and tugged on one of his earlobes. Kagome had a feeling that he was wishing he were hanyou, probably so he could hop into the nearest tree and avoid her questions. “It means . . .” he trailed off with a wince followed by a grunt, like he really didn't want to say whatever it was that he was trying to get out. “I can't . . . we can't . . . only on nights like tonight or full moons . . . you wouldn't . . .” Screwing up his face in a completely exasperated expression, InuYasha took a deep breath before blurting, “Those are the only two times you'd have a pup.”

Kagome blinked in surprise as her eyes widened. “What?”

A hot flush washed over his skin, and he shook his head. “Myouga said . . . on full moon nights, we . . . it'd be a hanyou pup, like me. On new moon nights, it'd be a human pup. That's all.”

Kagome wasn't sure whose blush was worse. InuYasha glared at the talisman and shook it before stuffing it back into his haori. “I see,” she managed to say in a choked tone. “So you're saying that on the other nights . . . it wouldn't be possible?”

“Keh.”

She digested that in silence, unsure what to say, as she scooped up the playing cards, no longer in a neat stack since Kagome had been lying on them. Spotting InuYasha's cards that were still separated from the others, she grabbed them, too, and out of curiosity, she fanned them. Eyes narrowing, she frowned at the cards before shifting her gaze to stare at the hanyou. “You let me win,” she said softly, letting her wrist fall back to reveal the cards she held. Four aces and a three. “Why?”

InuYasha finally looked at her, his gaze still guarded though the embarrassment seemed to have lessened. “I didn't have anything to ask,” he grumbled defensively, “and I figured you did. Why else would you want to play?”

A slow smile spread over her face as she scooped the cards together and stuck them in the box. “And here I thought I won.”

He snorted. “Keh! You _never_ win, wench, I told you.”

The sudden crush of lingering memories of his kisses assailed her, and Kagome hid a smile. ` _I never win, huh? I think . . . I just did_ . . .'

She crawled under the light blanket and leaned up on her elbow to look at him. A tender smile was turning up the corners of his lips. As he gazed at her, the smile widened, and he shrugged. “You'd better get some sleep. We've got to get moving first thing in the morning. With any luck we'll beat Hisadaicho to the old woman.”

She nodded as she curled up, cradling her cheek on her hands as he scooted closer. “Do you think we'll make it in time?”

InuYasha's smile faded. “I dunno. I hope so.”

Kagome closed her eyes as his fingers tangled in her hair. She hoped so, too . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“So you've come to protect me from this evil you seek?”

Kagome nodded. “Yes.”

Old Seer smiled indulgently. “Your fear for my well-being is touching but unnecessary, child. I do not fear her.”

InuYasha shook his head. “Are you saying that I do?”

“No . . . no . . . but I do sense a reluctance on your part, as though you fear something _about_ her. Do you?”

InuYasha snorted, flicking his ears as he closed his eyes. “No way! I don't fear a damn thing,” he scoffed arrogantly.

“She . . . when he sees her, she looks like me,” Kagome admitted quietly.

Old Seer sat back as a knowing look settled over her wrinkled features. “Now I understand. She uses this deception to protect herself . . . So that is what she has become . . .”

“You sound like you know her,” Kagome remarked.

Old Seer sighed and shook her head sadly. “I knew a girl . . . she was my apprentice for nearly ten years.”

“Keh! We ain't got time for a stroll down memory lane,” InuYasha growled as he started to rise.

Old Seer cast him a shrewd look, a penetrating gaze that stopped him. “In this world, one life must give way to offer another one a chance to flourish. Is this not so?”

InuYasha didn't answer but he did sit back down.

“The girl I knew was named Emi. She left me because of a man, and that man changed her, killed the innocent girl and brought something else to bear. She is the evil you seek.”

“Emi became Hisadaicho,” Kagome whispered.

Old Seer nodded. “I know not how or why, but I know this is true.”

InuYasha shook his head, his thoughtful frown bordering on a scowl. “The evil we seek . . . Are you saying she tainted the jewel?”

Old Seer considered InuYasha's question as she closed her eyes, lifted her chin. “It was not her,” she finally said as she opened her eyes. “However, if you find Hisadaicho, you will find your answers.”

“What about her, about Emi? What was she like?” Kagome asked quietly.

With a heavy sigh, Old Seer shook her head as a sad smile turned the corners of her lips. “Emi's parents brought her to me when she was but a child. At eight, she'd already had visions of the future, and they wanted her to be trained in how to use her gift. She was happy, helpful, eager to learn . . . and it was so, for nearly ten years.”

Pausing in the story to gather her thoughts, Old Seer stared into the low-burning fire as her faded eyes brightened. “I knew when she started to change though she never said anything to me. She grew more lax in her duties, disappeared for hours at a time . . . then one day she packed her things and said she was leaving, that she was going to him.”

“Who was he?” Kagome pressed.

Old Seer shook her head. “This, I never knew.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Emi:** blessed with beauty.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Old Seer:**  
>  …Emi …  
> ==========


	51. Real Emotion

 

~~ ** _Chapter 51_** ~~  
~ ** _Real Emotion_** ~

 

“Do you think she'll be all right?”

InuYasha grunted as he launched them both into the sky. Kagome leaned on his shoulder, voicing the question he knew she'd been pondering since they left Old Seer's hovel. “Keh. She's tougher than she looks. I think she can hold her own.”

“If Hisadaicho used to be Emi, then that really does mean that she's hanyou, doesn't it?”

“Does it matter? I'll still kill her.”

` _Sure I will_ ,' he thought with a scowl. ` _About the time I stop breathing . . . damn it! If she didn't look like Kagome_ . . .'

“It _might_ matter . . . I wonder when she's human?”

Sailing above the trees of his forest, InuYasha grimaced in determination.

“Maybe Miroku or Kaede will have an idea,” Kagome offered, her tone tinged with hope though he could tell that she really didn't hold out much.

“Maybe,” InuYasha agreed.

“I need to go back home. Today's Souta's birthday.”

He snorted. “Keh. I suppose you want me to go with you.”

She grinned. “Well, now that you mention it . . .”

He rolled his eyes. “You're completely helpless without me, aren't you?”

“I'll let you think so.”

“Keh!”

Dropping to a walk as they neared the Bone Eater's Well, InuYasha stopped long enough to let Kagome off his back. He swept her off her feet before he hopped into the well. She squealed at the sudden movement. He flattened his ears and made a face as the time slip closed in around them. “Damn, wench. Do you have to do that?”

“You're the one who grabbed me,” she countered with a soft giggle as she rubbed his ears, massaging away the discomfort. Her touch shot through him, and he jerked his head back with a scowl meant to stay her hands. She giggled a little louder and squirmed to reach his ears again.

“I'll drop you,” he threatened as he tried to lean away from her.

“Go ahead! It won't hurt here,” she challenged as she grasped one of his ears.

“Wench!” he growled as he jerked back.

“Aww, the big, tough hanyou can't take a little ear torture?”

For once, InuYasha didn't try to hide the emotions that twisted him inside out. Staring at her, letting her see the raw fervor, her smile faded as her gaze took on the same intense glow. Her scent shifted so fast that he felt dizzy, and he nearly dropped her. Tightening his grip, he refused to look away. “I can take it, Kagome,” he murmured, “if you can.”

She nodded slowly as he landed on the ground in the bottom of the well in her time. He didn't seem to notice that they'd arrived. They stared at each other as seconds ticked away.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Sesshoumaru gazed out at the evening's falling shadows as a gentle breeze stirred his hair, caressed his skin. In the garden below, Kagura's laughter drifted to him. She was watching Rin's antics. Nearly thirteen years old now, the girl he'd taken in had grown into a young woman, and in the weeks since Kagura's arrival, she had gently tempered the child's ebullience as she taught Rin by example to be a lady.

` _Kagura belongs here . . . my equal . . . my . . . mate_.'

She made him smile, even if it was nothing more than a light in his gaze, a slight lifting of the corners of his lips.

As though she sensed his perusal, Kagura turned and looked up at him. He nodded at her. She stared at him for another moment before calling out to Rin. “I'm going inside now. Don't wander far.”

Rin nodded as she stooped down to pick more flowers. “All right!”

“Sesshoumaru-sama, you wished to see me?”

Turning away from the window, Sesshoumaru ignored Jaken as he deliberately strode across the chamber. “Watch over Rin, Jaken.”

The imp nodded and bowed. “Are you leaving?” Jaken asked then gulped as Sesshoumaru shot him a quelling glance. “Forgive me! I did not mean to question you!”

“That is all.”

“Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama! A thousand apologies,” Jaken groveled as he backed out of the chamber again.

Sesshoumaru waited until Jaken was out of sight before heading downstairs, himself.

“Sesshoumaru . . . did you wished to see me?” Kagura asked as she swept into the castle, her arms laden with Rin's flowers.

“I did. Come.”

Kagura nodded. “Let me put these in water,” she told him as she hurried to do that.

` _Father . . . would you approve of her? Would you find her worthy?_ '

The enigmatic smile surfaced once more. He had a feeling that the Inu no Taisho would have . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Sango glanced down at Marisaiko as the baby cooed softly. Nestled in the little basket with a blanket draped to keep the sun off her, she was content to swat at tiny butterflies as she kicked her feet and blew slobber bubbles.

Sango smiled. Miroku had taken Shippou, Ichisaru, and Kirara to gather some roots for Kaede. She wandered down the forest path humming a song to Marisaiko. Having finished weeding the memorial garden, she was on her way back to the village to start dinner.

“Excuse me! I'm sorry to bother you . . . I seem to have lost my way.”

Sango stopped as the woman approached her. “Are you traveling?”

The woman winced as she smiled then heaved a mournful sigh as she smoothed down her outer kimono. She looked like a princess or a very wealthy woman. What was she doing with only one escort? “I was . . . my escorts fell victim to youkai. I barely escaped.”

“Youkai? Near here?”

“Yes.”

Sango frowned. Youkai near? Why hadn't she heard of this? Most often, area villages sent word right away . . . “Where were you going?”

“I was traveling to visit a man named Kasuga.”

Sango shook her head. “I've never heard of him. My husband will be back soon . . . we can take care of the youkai. The village miko may know this man, Kasuga . . .”

Her lavender eyes filled with tears, and she bowed slightly. Sango touched her arm. Something about the woman . . . ` _I feel like I've met her before_ . . .' She brushed that thought aside. Surely the woman would have commented if they had met somewhere . . . “It's fine . . . I'm a youkai exterminator . . . the last of my village.”

The woman started to straighten up but leaned her head to the side as she stared into the basket with an appreciative smile. “Oh, she's beautiful!”

“Thank you,” Sango answered with a bright grin.

“May I inquire as to her name?”

“Marisaiko.”

“Lovely!” the woman assured her as her gaze lingered on the baby. “She has a miko's aura, a strong one.”

Sango blinked in surprise. “You can sense that?”

Expression clouding over, the woman shook her head. “You . . . aren't a miko, are you? Oh . . . you must be watching her for someone else? I just assumed she was your daughter.”

Shocked speechless for a moment, Sango tried to cover it with a tight smile. “She _is_ my daughter,” she informed the stranger.

The woman looked perplexed. “But this child's aura . . . it is too strong not to be direct blood.”

“I don't know what you mean,” Sango replied in a clipped tone, indignant color brightening her cheeks as she hurried past the woman.

“I'm sorry if I offended you . . . I was born with the gift of sight . . .” With a soft gasp, she trailed off, her eyes widening as a look of understanding dawned on her. “Another gave life to this child for you, and she . . . she is the miko!”

Sango stopped abruptly and shot the woman a suspicious glance. “How do you know?”

She wrung her hands nervously as an embarrassed flush tinged her cheeks. “I see it . . . I apologize. I don't mean to offend you . . . this miko must have a very caring heart, to have done this for you, and you . . . Are you friends of hers?”

“Of course we are,” Sango answered slowly. “She's my closest friend.”

The woman nodded. “Close friend or not, when a child is involved . . . I'd be frightened that she would seek to reclaim her.”

“She wouldn't! Marisaiko isn't her child, she's mine!”

“My lady! I've been searching everywhere for you!”

The woman gasped and turned to look at the man ahead on the path. “You escaped? Kami be praised!” She reached out and patted Sango's hand. “Thank you for your offer of assistance. Goodbye!”

Sango watched as the woman strode away to meet her escort with a darkening frown. ` _Why do I still feel like I've seen her somewhere before?_ ' she asked herself as she shook her head and tightened her hold on Marisaiko's basket.

A sudden chill raced up Sango's spine as her gaze dropped to her daughter's sweet face. ` _Close friend or not, when a child is involved . . . I'd be frightened that she would seek to reclaim her_.'

` _Not Kagome . . . she'd never . . . no_ . . .'

Miroku's face flashed through her mind, the pensive look as he told Sango that InuYasha had admitted that Kagome wanted a baby of her own . . .

She shook her head as she willed the images away. ` _Kagome wouldn't do that, not to Miroku or me_ . . .'

Still the doubt lingered at the back of her mind as she hurried back to the village.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“So this was the Inu no Taisho,” Kagura murmured quietly, as though she were afraid to break the serenity, the sense of peace.

Sesshoumaru nodded slowly, staring at the skeleton of the Great tai-youkai. “Yes . . . he rests here.”

Kagura's solemn gaze was reverent, quiet. “Your father . . .”

The wind escalated around them, surrounded them in the brisk air, the melancholy feel of the souls of the youkai, the shining glimmers of their immortal auras that hung thick in this graveyard, this tomb.

“Such a sad yet peaceful place,” Kagura murmured as she lifted her gaze to watch the lights of the wandering souls passing overhead. Spirals of glowing lights, shimmering hues of pinks and blues, of whites and the palest purples . . .

“There were many things that I could not comprehend,” he admitted in a hushed tone. “The things he believed in . . . the reasons he chose to fight . . . I never understood those things, but you . . . make me want to try.”

“Sesshoumaru . . .”

He stared at her for a moment before gazing away at his father's skeleton again. “Father, this is Kagura, the Wind Sorceress . . . I seek your blessing in taking her as my mate.”

The wind escalated, whipping his hair, tendrils of silken silver that penetrated his mind, his soul. Beside him, Kagura stiffened. The low moan of the breeze carried with it the answer of the Inu no Taisho as his father's spirit engulfed him in the bluish haze of his father's aura. Turning his head to glance at Kagura, he saw that she, too, was enveloped in the same sheen, and Sesshoumaru smiled just a little.

“It seems Father approves,” Sesshoumaru murmured.

Tears stood in Kagura's eyes without falling. The liquid film sparkled like a thousand jewels. Her nostrils trembled, her bottom lip quivered as she slowly closed her eyes and bowed in deference to the Inu no Taisho. When she straightened, Sesshoumaru saw the thin, silvery trails from the tears that had slipped from the corners of her eyes. He turned toward her, wiped her cheeks with his fingertips.

She smiled and touched his face, eyes luminous, glowing. “Thank you,” she whispered, “for bringing me here.”

Wrapping her in his Mokomoko-sama, he gathered her up and nodded. “Come, Kagura. I'll take you home.”

“Home,” she echoed as she leaned against him. “Yes . . . home . . .”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _You could act out your dreams! That would do it!_ '

` _There are only two ways, young miko. One would be to destroy the butterfly youkai, and the other is to give life to the dreams_ _. . ._ '

InuYasha stared out Kagome's window with a concentrated frown at the dark night. Willing away the words that kept rolling around his head, he tightened his arms, wrapped around Tetsusaiga. ` _Keh! That's not something we can just do for the hell of it_ ,' he thought as his glower intensified. ` _Stop being stupid! It ain't like trying to decide what kind of pocky to buy the brats_ . . .'

It was instinctive, the other thing he knew. It was something that he didn't question because it had somehow been obvious to him all along. ` _Inu youkai mate for life . . . and Kagome . . . she'd want that, too . . . wouldn't she?_ '

Shifting his gaze from the window to the girl sleeping on the bed, InuYasha sighed. ` _She has to want it, too_ . . .'

` _Only if I can take care of you, too,' she had said_.

` _Keh. What can you do to take care of me?_ '

` _I can make anywhere we are into a home . . . for you_.'

Shaking his head, InuYasha forced his eyes away from her, ignored the gentle tug of her aura on him as he stared out the window again.

` _You could `forget' to shake the vial. Do you think Kagome would even notice? You're the one who always has to remind her. Then you wouldn't have to worry about being embarrassed about asking her. It'd be a done deal_ . . .'

InuYasha made a face. No . . . he couldn't do that, either. ` _She . . . she has to_ _agree . . . she has to want me_ _. Not like that, not in a damn dream_ . . .'

The trouble was, if he couldn't bring himself to fight Hisadaicho because of her face, how would he ever be able to protect Kagome from her? ` _Damn it . . . if she didn't look like Kagome . . . I could fight her_ . . .'

` _So . . . break the toxin, baka!_ '

He winced as he dragged the tiny vial out of his haori and stared at it. That was the problem, wasn't it? He wanted her to be there with him forever, beside him, as his mate, but he wanted to know that it was for the right reasons.

` _Don't be stupid. You know_ _Kagome probably better than you know yourself. Do you think that if she agreed that it wouldn't be for the right reasons?_ '

He had to concede that. He did know her, everything about her. Sure there were times he didn't understand her, but he knew her heart, knew her soul, knew that there wasn't an unkind bone in her body. What she did for Sango and Miroku . . . that was the Kagome he knew, and that was the reason he hadn't been able to be angry with her for doing something that he had known would hurt her. She gave of herself until she had nothing left to give, and then she gave more. Hadn't she already healed the parts of his soul that he hadn't ever thought would stop aching?

Maybe it was true, that she deserved better than him. She either didn't notice or didn't care because time and again, she always came back, and she always made him feel like he could do anything, so long as she believed in him.

Anything but fight the butterfly with her face, that was.

He let his head fall back against the window frame and closed his eyes. ` _There's got to be another way_ . . .'

He just had to figure it out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Sesshoumaru:**  
>  Father approves …


	52. Rise and Fall

~~ ** _Chapter 52_** ~~  
~ ** _Rise and Fall_** ~

 

InuYasha tugged the hat down a little lower over his face as Kagome chattered about the weather.

“It looks like it’s going to rain, doesn’t it?”

With a snort, InuYasha shrugged.  “Keh.  Maybe.  Thought you wanted to go back today.”

She grinned.  “I do . . .”  Her smile faded as she shook her head and peeked up at him.  “Do you think Kaede or Miroku will have any other ideas on how to counter the toxin?”

Considering it was the question he’d been thinking about all last night as well as today and still had yet to come up with any real ideas, his tone was clipped, irritated, when he answered her.  “No, Kagome, I really don’t.  I don’t think there’s a damn thing they can tell us that they ain’t already said.”

She sighed.  “I thought that, too.  I just hoped . . .”

InuYasha was about to respond when he frowned.  Glancing out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the shiny black car that had been following behind them all morning.  “Oi, wench . . . you know them?”

“Who?”

He jerked his head, indicating the car that was slowly creeping up beside them.  Unable to see through the smoked glass windows, she shook her head and edged closer to InuYasha’s side.

The car stopped, and the window slowly slipped open, revealing a bug-eyed, big nosed, very short, very bald man.  InuYasha scowled as he slowly shook his head.  “I know your stench,” he growled.

“It’s been awhile, yes,” the driver commented with a wrinkling of his nose designed to let InuYasha know that he wasn’t any more pleased about the forced encounter than the hanyou was.

Kagome shook her head.  “You’re . . . youkai,” she murmured, glancing around to make sure that they weren’t being overheard.

“I was instructed to pick you up.”

“Keh.  I don’t think so, Jaken,” InuYasha answered tightly, crossing his arms over his chest stubbornly.

“Jaken?” Kagome echoed as her eyes widened.  The being in the car didn’t look like Jaken, really.  It had to be some sort of concealment, she supposed, since he actually looked very, very human.  “Then that means—”

“Just tell me what the fuck that bastard wants.  Why the hell is he still alive, anyway?”

Jaken puffed up his chest indignantly as blotches of outraged color blossomed in his face.  “Sesshoumaru-sama did not tell me why he wants to meet with the likes of you, but he said that if you do not agree to come willingly that I should tell you that he owns the shrine, and that if you want the well left intact, you’d better come along,” the imp grumbled.

Kagome gasped at the threat.  “Get in the car, InuYasha . . .” she whispered urgently.

InuYasha narrowed his glower as his lips drew back in a fierce snarl.  “Damn you, Jaken . . .”

The hanyou didn’t look like he was going to comply.  Kagome tugged at his arm.  “Come on, InuYasha . . . _please!_ ”

Opening his mouth to argue, InuYasha took one look at Kagome’s ashen face, her stricken expression, and with a loud curse, he let her jerk open the car’s door and climbed inside.  Kagome slid onto the seat next to him and pulled the door closed. 

A dull ‘snick-snick’ made his ears twitch under the baseball cap as she instinctively reached over and took his hand.  Whether she wanted his reassurance or knew that he was struggling not to reach over the seat to strangle the imp, he wasn’t sure.  “You didn’t have to lock us in,” Kagome pointed out.

“I was told not to take any chances,” Jaken huffed.

He winced and grimaced as the car started moving, digging the claws on his free hand into the leather covered elbow rest.  Kagome squeezed his hand.

He hated the feeling of being completely helpless in the vehicle, despised the complete dread that welled up inside him.  He felt like he was absolutely at the mercy of the foreign beast, and it was a feeling that he didn’t like, at all.

Kagome gnawed on her lower lip, worry creasing the corners of her eyes as her gaze darted out the window then back to meet his glower.  As much as he wanted to let her know that he would protect her, he couldn’t.  It was all he could do to keep himself from smashing through the window and dragging Kagome onto the safety of the sidewalk, not to mention that he was having marked trouble remembering to breathe.

Dizziness licked at the edges of his mind as bile rose to choke him.  A sudden and irrational sense of panic squeezed his chest, constricting his breathing.  Kagome let go of his hand and leaned over him, fumbling with the little silver switches that were only inches away from his claws.  She pushed one.  Nothing happened.  Pushing it repeatedly yielded her nothing, and when she glanced up at him again, he could see the alarm in her expression.

“Open the window, Jaken!” Kagome hollered.

“Sesshoumaru-sama said—”

“Do it!” she interrupted.  “You’ve got to!”

Jaken’s cold stare flashed in the rearview mirror.  “I was told not to,” Jaken insisted.

“And I’m saying do it or I’ll purify you!” Kagome yelled.  “He’s never been in a car before, and if you don’t open a window, he’s either going to pass out or throw up, and if he throws up, I’ll make sure he aims for you!”

If she wasn’t so damn accurate with her predictions, InuYasha might have been able to muster the strength to clout the imp as they pulled to a stop at a red light.  As it was, it took all his concentration to keep himself from doing both of the things that Kagome had so eloquently stated.

Jaken muttered something that InuYasha didn’t hear as the window beside him slid open a few inches.

The car started moving again, and with the movement came the flow of air.  The tightness around his chest loosened, and slowly his breathing returned to normal.  He could feel Kagome relax beside him though when he glanced over at her, she was glaring murderously at the stupid imp without so much as blinking.  InuYasha almost felt sorry for Jaken . . . almost.

Grinding his teeth together as the car sped around a corner and through the imposing gates that swung closed after the car passed through them, InuYasha sank his claws deeper into the elbow rest as he pondered whether or not he could get Kagome out of the car safely if he lopped Jaken’s head off.

Before he could make up his mind, the car stopped in front of a huge house, and the same ‘snick snick’ he’d heard before sounded again.  Kagome had her door open and darted out of the car before InuYasha could figure out how to open his side.  The miko slammed her balled up fist against Jaken’s window as InuYasha hid his smirk and tried in vain to find a way out of the damn beast.

“Make her stop,” Jaken whined as he leaned away from his door.

InuYasha snorted.  “Fat fucking chance, imp.  Thought you’d be smart enough not to piss people off.”

Jaken scooted across the front seat as Kagome jerked open InuYasha’s door.

“I’m not finished with you!” Kagome stormed as she glowered at the imp.

InuYasha staggered out of the car as Kagome slammed the door as hard as she could.  The window shook precariously, and Jaken stayed put.  “You want to borrow Tetsusaiga?” InuYasha offered, only half-joking.

Kagome actually seemed to be considering it when the front door of the house opened and Sesshoumaru stepped out onto the porch.  “InuYasha.  Miko.”

Wheeling around on her heel, Kagome jerked her arm away from InuYasha’s grasp as she stomped over to glare up at Sesshoumaru’s stoic countenance.  “How dare you!  You don’t have the right to order us around!  Bad enough you threaten my home, but then you have the gall to have your stupid little toad lock us into a car knowing that InuYasha has never been in one!  You’re such a _jerk!_ ”

Her tone and volume was enough to make InuYasha’s ears smash down against his head.  That she was bellowing at his brother . . . InuYasha strode over to them and pulled Kagome back, planting himself between Sesshoumaru and her before the bastard got any stupid ideas. 

“Just what the hell do you want?” InuYasha snarled, hand itching to draw Tetsusaiga.

“My apologies, Miko . . . baka . . . I instructed Jaken to make sure you came.  If you would have simply accepted the invitation, then there would have been no need to . . . persuade you.”

InuYasha’s brows drew together even more.  ‘ _Did he just . . . apologize?  Sesshoumaru?  What the . . . ?_ ’  “What do you want?” he repeated.

Sesshoumaru shrugged as he turned back toward the door.  “Come inside, and I’ll tell you . . . oh, and one thing.  I wouldn’t draw that, if I were you,” he remarked, nodding at Tetsusaiga.  “Kagura still has her fans.”

InuYasha slowly followed him into the house with Kagome close behind him.  Sesshoumaru led the way into a very opulent living room.  Kagura stood at the far end of the room arranging flowers in a crystal vase.  She smiled demurely and swept over to hug Kagome, who stared in absolute shock at the wind sorceress.  InuYasha growled as Kagura stepped back.  She bowed to InuYasha, still with the friendly smile on her face. 

“What’s . . . going on here?” Kagome asked, breaking the strange silence.

Kagura chuckled as Sesshoumaru left the room.  “It’s been a long time, Kagome.  We wanted to see you sooner, but thought perhaps it wouldn’t be wise.”

Kagome shook her head as InuYasha crossed his arms over his chest.  “I don’t understand . . .”

“Save it, wench.  As soon as that bastard of a brother of mine says what he wants, we’re leaving,” InuYasha cut in.

“Ma-a-a-a-ama-a-a-a-a!”

Kagome and InuYasha both turned to see a streak of silver shoot through the room.  Skidding to a halt just behind Kagura, the child peeked around her as a second silver haired child ran in, brandishing a wooden sword.

Kagura shot them an apologetic smile before she intercepted the shorter child.  “Kei, what have I told you about playing with that inside?”

Kei made a face.  “Sorry, Mama.”

“Kei, Isamu, this is your uncle, InuYasha, and Kagome.”

Both silvery heads bowed.

Kei stared at InuYasha and Kagome, his little face puzzled.  “Papa says you’re a miko,” he remarked.

Kagome nodded, enchanted by the boy.  His golden gaze brightened, and he grinned as he turned toward InuYasha.  “Papa says I can have a sword like Tokijin when I get older!  He says that you can do the Kaze no Kizu with yours!  Can I see?”

“Baka!” the older boy said, nudging his brother with his shoulder.  “They just got here. Don’t be stupid!”

“I’m not stupid, bastard!” Kei yelled back.

“Kei!” Kagura gasped.  “Where did you learn that word?”

Kei shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest as his face screwed up into an all-too-familiar expression that Kagome instantly recognized.

“He heard Uncle say it,” Isamu supplied with a condescending smirk.

Sesshoumaru strode back into the room with a toddler cradled in his arm.  He handed the child to Kagura and nodded at his sons.  The two boys ran out of the room once more.  Moments later, the slamming of a door echoed through the house as Kagura heaved a sigh.  “I can’t get them to stop doing that,” she commented.

Kagome stared at the baby.   Raven black hair and sweet golden eyes peeked out of the tiny face.  “This is Chiasa,” Kagura said.  The little girl giggled and squirmed to get down.

Sesshoumaru watched as Kagura set the girl on her feet.  “I wondered if you have had any luck finding Hisadaicho in the past.”

InuYasha frowned.  “You brought me here to ask me that?”

Sesshoumaru nodded as he leaned forward, narrowing his gaze as he stared at InuYasha’s chest.  His hand flashed out in a blur of movement as he pulled the talisman out of InuYasha’s haori.  “So you’ve not broken the toxin yet.  Can you fight a hanyou who hides behind your miko’s face?”

That Sesshoumaru, of all people, had stated it so matter-of-factly was enough to make InuYasha’s temper soar as Kagome gasped softly behind him.  Kagura cleared her throat and stepped forward, taking her daughter’s hand in one hand and propelling Kagome toward the doorway with her other one.

“I think the temperature just dropped in here . . . why don’t you come with me to check that thermostat?”

Kagome shot InuYasha a quick glance as Kagura dragged her out of the room.

“Oi!  Where do you think you’re taking her?” InuYasha snarled.

Kagura smiled.  “She’s perfectly safe here, InuYasha . . . and so are you.”

“Keh!”

Sesshoumaru waited until the women were gone before turning his gaze back onto his brother.  “You can’t, can you?”

“What do you care?  I’ll take care of it.”

“Why would I care?  Frankly, I don’t, though it would behoove you to claim her before she realized what a baka you really are . . . and I honestly can’t see any other female—human, youkai, or hanyou, putting up with you and your foul disposition.”

“I’ll show you how foul my disposition can be,” InuYasha growled as he drew Tetsusaiga and leveled it at his brother’s chest.

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes and shook his head.  “Put that away, baka.  I simply thought you ought to know, for every day that her toxin is in your system, the harder it will be to destroy Hisadaicho’s evil.”

InuYasha snorted.  “So why didn’t you tell me this when I came to the fucking castle, bastard?”

A quick flash of a dark emotion flickered in Sesshoumaru’s gaze before he hid it behind his stoic indifference.  “Back then there were things I didn’t know.  Things change in five hundred years.  What would be more disturbing is if I had remained the same.”

InuYasha dropped Tetsusaiga into the scabbard but continued to glower at his brother.  “Keh.  Whatever.  You’re still a bastard.”

A hint of humor lit Sesshoumaru’s gaze, a marked brightness in the swirling gold.  “And you, InuYasha, are still a baka.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Everything is coming together as planned,” Hisadaicho mused as she stroked the urn, as she ran her fingertips through the rising mist.  ‘ _A shame_ ,’ she thought as a lazy smile surfaced on her face, ‘ _InuYasha is such a delicious little bit . . . so much passion wrapped up in such a pretty package_ . . .’

Turning away from the urn, Hisadaicho let her kimono fall around her feet, pooling silk whispering against the cold stone floor.  The paradox of the brothers intrigued her.  One so fiery, so passionate while the other seemed to be chiseled from ice . . .

‘ _Kagura . . . you will not fail me_ . . .’

As if in answer, the silvery scar on her wrist throbbed to a heartbeat that was not her own.

Aki stepped into the chamber with one of the nearby village’s peasant girls.  Hisadaicho eyed her as she stepped closer.  Reaching out, she lifted the girl’s chin, smiled at the fear in the depths of her midnight gaze.  “Are you frightened?”

The girl nodded once as tears glittered in her eyes like stars in the night heavens.

Staring into her eyes for long moments, Hisadaicho saw the fear spike, intensify.

With a single look from his mistress, Aki tore off his clothing.  The girl whimpered as he reached for her.  Hisadaicho stepped forward, held the girl against her breasts as she stroked her back to soothe her.   The girl’s fear subsided.  Hisadaicho pushed her back and stroked the young body as she pushed away the rough peasant clothing.

“Does she please you, Aki?” Hisadaicho asked quietly.

The servant grunted in reply.

Hisadaicho stepped back, smiling at the girl.  “You may have her.”

Aki didn’t wait.  Bending the girl with a hand on the back of her neck, he licked his fingers, rubbed them against her.  She gasped, arched her back as Aki’s skilled fingers worked her body, readying her for him.  Hisadaicho knelt on the floor beside her, manipulated the swelling flesh of the girl’s nipples as she moaned, as she rocked back against Aki’s hand, as her body shuddered.

He entered her roughly, using his hands to yank back on her hips, embedding himself in her as she cried out.  Hisadaicho stood up slowly, stepped back with a smile as anticipation roiled inside her belly.

The girl gasped, growled, figured out quickly, how to slam herself back against her lover as broke into a fine sheen of perspiration.  The innocence of the maiden was a delicious thing, and Hisadaicho wanted to possess her soul . . . As the girl lifted her head, a cry of release welling up inside her, Hisadaicho swooped forward, dropped her mouth over the girl’s slack jaw as she delved her tongue inside, tasted the maiden, and then sucked out her soul.

The girl’s empty body went limp.  Aki shoved her away, and she fell in a dull thump on the floor.  Hisadaicho’s smile widened as the servant lifted her, carried her over to the futon, and entered her before they fell together.  The combination of his body and the newly acquired soul sent Hisadaicho into spasms of pleasure, and she unleashed an unearthly scream as repletion came upon her.

The urn on the table throbbed, pulsed, ebbed with a resonance that matched Hisadaicho’s heart.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“I wish I could touch them,” Kagura murmured as she stared at the stars suspended so low over the earth but ever remaining just out of her reach.

Sesshoumaru nearly smiled at the whimsical thought.  The comfortable silence that had fallen between them since they took leave of his father’s tomb was peaceful.  Perhaps Kagura didn’t need words to express her thoughts.  Perhaps neither of them really did.  Stopping on the outskirts of his land when Kagura asked if they might walk, he complied with her wish.  In the low dip between hills, she sat down then lay back to stare at the night sky.  He could discern the lingering sadness in her gaze, and as he sat beside her, he could tell there was something on her mind.

“Tell me what troubles you, Kagura.”

She shook her head, flashing him a quick smile though she couldn’t mask the lingering sorrow in her gaze.  “Nothing.  Why should there be?”

The thin moonlight pooled in her eyes, lent her skin a luminous glow.  A goddess in the darkness, a shining entity that lured him, she captivated him, made him want things that he didn’t dare dream of without her.  Hadn’t he sensed it early on, that she was the one he sought?  The one who understood him without having to be told, the one he knew to be his equal in every sense of the word.

He leaned over her, resting his weight on his one arm.  Staring down at her as a primitive passion curled around the edges of his being, he memorized the contours of her face, staring at her with his question in his gaze.  She didn’t look away as she nodded.

Her lips opened, as though she were having trouble breathing.  Her skin took on a hint of pink as a shift in her scent lingered in the air.  He had come to understand many things since the day he’d been helpless to save Kagura.  He’d been too proud, too arrogant, too unwilling to admit that he wanted her, and now . . . now there was no hesitation.

Dropping his lips over hers, the heat of her mouth invited him.  A violent explosion of fire that raged through him, a force that he’d never felt before.  Need and desire merged together to create a burn that centered deep down in him.  Her aggression rose as his kiss deepened.  The same ardor that she used to summon in battle burgeoned around him, and her kiss grew more daring as she flicked out her tongue to taste him.

Spirals of heat, tendrils of flames, a vortex of sensation that threatened to overwhelm his senses shot to life, lifted and surged as Kagura tugged at his armor.

Pulling away from her to discard the protective gear, Sesshoumaru dropped it on the grass.  She wasn’t content to sit and watch as he worked the ties of his hakama.  Sitting up to push his hand away, Kagura tugged off his haori and undershirt first before she slid off his shoes. As she untied his hakama, he tugged at the bow that held her kimono closed.  He watched in mute fascination as her nipples contracted, hardened the instant the air hit her flushed skin.  Something between a moan and a low growl escaped her but whether it was because of his stare on her or because she had managed to release him from his pants, he wasn’t sure.

He stood slowly, eyes on her face, to discard his hakama.  She gazed at him, her eyes darkened nearly black, her scent intoxicating in the night.  The rush of her blood racing through her was like claps of thunder in a storm.  Shockingly loud, wholly invigorating, when she stood, when she pressed her body against his in complete and total submission, it was almost his undoing.

Her lips, her breath fanned the torrid flames that tormented his body, her tongue tracing along his teeth, running up the length of his fangs as she teased him.  He held her flush against him as she raked her nails over his back, up his sides, along the ridges and hollows of his body.  Dragging his mouth away from hers, Sesshoumaru let his head fall back, dragging in ragged lungfuls of air as he willed his body to calm.  “Kagura,” he rasped out, the smooth quality of his voice torn and jagged, “lie down.”

She did as he ordered, her bed the soft spring grass.  Knees bent, feet flat, she dug her toes into the grass, stared up at him through half-closed eyes.  His gaze raked over her, appreciated her pride, her unwillingness to hide herself from him.  Dropping to his knees at her feet, he nudged her legs apart as he leaned over her.  Lips opening as he closed his mouth over one of her engorged breasts, he steadied himself, felt her body react as liquid heat seared the skin of his stomach.

She hissed out a breath, arched her body to meet his.  “Sesshoumaru . . .” she whispered, her hands sinking into his hair as she pressed against him, her body willing his to listen to her silent entreaty.

His hand brushed against something warm, something soft, and he dragged it closer, breaking the contact of his lips on her skin as he pulled Mokomoko-sama over her rioting flesh.  She cried out his name as he taunted her with the fur, ran it over the darkened flesh of her nipples as she shuddered, as she tilted her head back, as her back arched further off the ground.  He pulled Mokomoko-sama under her back, under her thighs, capturing both ends of the fur in his hand.  When he leaned over her, his hand next to her head, the Mokomoko-sama lifted her legs, spread them apart.  She gasped softly at the complete vulnerability he’d discovered.

“Open your eyes.”

It took several moments for her to comply.  The torrent of passion in her gaze made him catch his breath.  “You’re . . . my equal, Kagura . . . my mate.”

“Yes,” she murmured as her eyes closed once more.  She forced them open.  “Yes . . .”

With deliberate slowness, his body pressed into hers, leisurely, cautiously, careful not to hurt her.  She gasped, she writhed, and she tried to lift her hips to meet him.  He growled low as her body constricted around him, the liquid heat that surrounded him was almost too much to bear.  Time and space, a converging sense of complete sensation enveloped him as he surged against her.  To have her returned to him was enough of a gift.  In those moments, he showed her what she meant to him.  Slowly he moved with her, spasms clenched and loosened.  A coil wrapped tighter and tighter inside him as the will to snap it was tempered only by his need to hear her call out his name.

Everything about her seemed to be magnified in him.  His body glided over hers as a fine sheen of sweat broke out on his skin.  The understanding that flowed from his soul to hers and back was a breathtaking thing.  A rhythm in the rise and fall, in the plunder and retreat, a simple yet heady sensation of time standing still gave way to a burgeoning blossom, a beam of moonlight on the blackest night . . . A shocking thunderclap as their bodies met, joined, melding two beings into one, the hammering of his heart beating out an erratic cadence, tattooed on the wind and returned in an earthquake that rumbled through them both as shocking waves of pleasure moved them both toward the intangible horizon.

Torturous lethargy in his movements contradicted the savage need that twisted itself around his youki.  Her body grew tenser under his, her muscles straining to keep the temerarious hold on sanity.  The years of recrimination and sadness dissipated as her body arched and trusted against his, and somehow in the splendor of the night, as she cried out when the silvery spiral of need exploded, Sesshoumaru felt the coil snap.  Throwing his head back, howling the call of the victorious inu-youkai, he claimed her, his reason, his equal, his mate . . .

Collapsing against her as the cool night air feathered over his damp skin as moments ticked away, a hotness against his shoulder made him lean up.  Gazing down at Kagura, he frowned at the silent tears that coursed from her.  “Kagura?”

She shook her head, blinked to stop the tears.  She whimpered softly, such a foreign sound from her . . . “This . . . is what I’ve wanted,” she whispered.  “Just you . . . the only thing I’ve ever wanted . . .”

“You wanted to be free,” he reminded her gently.

“I wanted to be free so that I could be with you.”

“And now you are.”

She nodded, her gaze slipping away from his, her tone sad, pensive. “ . . . So I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Isamu:** bravery.  
>  **Kei:** 1) "blessed, lucky," 2) "excellent," 3) "respect," 4) "square jewel," or 5) "wise."  
>  **Chiasa:** Gentle child.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  Just wait till I get my hands on that little imp …  
> ==========


	53. Civil Unrest

 

~~ ** _Chapter 53_** ~~  
~ ** _Civil Unrest_** ~

 

“I don't know, InuYasha . . . if there were another way to counter the toxin, I'm sure that you'd have found that out by now,” Miroku commented as he turned up the earth where Sango normally planted her vegetable garden. Stopping long enough to lean casually on the handle of the spade, he wiped perspiration off his brow as he slowly shook his head. “Sounds to me like there isn't any other way other than killing the youkai.”

“Hanyou,” InuYasha mumbled as the `other way' that Miroku didn't know about tumbled around his already confused thoughts.

“What's that?”

InuYasha blinked and scowled from his perch on the fence. “I said, she's a hanyou.”

“A hanyou? Interesting . . .”

InuYasha wasn't nearly as inclined to agree with that assessment, and the dark look he shot the monk said as much. “Whatever. It don't change a damn thing.”

Miroku jammed his spade into the loosened earth and ambled over to lean on the fence beside him. “You could always learn to fight blindfolded. Use your youki to fight her.”

InuYasha cracked his knuckles. “You're useless, monk, did you know?” he snarled. “Anyway, that wouldn't do a damn bit of good, or do you forget, she smells just like Kagome, too?”

“Plug your nose?”

InuYasha took a wild swing as Miroku darted back out of his reach. “Never fucking mind!” he growled as he hopped off the fence and headed for the hut.

“Where are you going, InuYasha? I'll be serious!”

“Keh! I'm going to talk to the sane one,” he retorted as he shoved past the bamboo mat and into the hut.

Sango glanced up from feeding Marisaiko as Kagome knelt across from her, obviously in the middle of telling Sango about Oro's condition when they'd found him. Miroku stepped inside, running directly into InuYasha's back since he hadn't moved away from the doorway.

“Oof!” Miroku grunted as he caught himself on InuYasha's shoulders.

The hanyou stumbled forward before glowering over his shoulder at the monk. “Do you mind?”

Miroku let go and edged past InuYasha. “You're the one who stopped,” Miroku pointed out reasonably enough as he sat down beside Sango and leaned over to play with his daughter.

“So you say that Oro was driven mad by his dreams?” Sango asked Kagome with a frown.

Kagome nodded slowly. “Yeah . . . Even if he weren't . . . Ichisaru was so sad . . .”

Miroku nodded slowly. “He's not said much since you brought him back,” he agreed. “It must have been shocking for him, to see his former master like that. You were more fortunate, InuYasha. At least the one you dream about was willing to help you . . . not to mention that I don't think she minds the . . . side effects . . .”

Kagome coughed suddenly as she stared at her hands, red-faced. InuYasha tried not to blush as he stomped over and sat back against the wall. “Shut up, pervert,” he grumbled.

“A woman mentioned some youkai attacks near here,” Sango said slowly as she concentrated on the baby in her arms. “All of her escorts were killed, except for one.”

“Sango? Is something wrong?” Kagome asked, a worried frown creasing her brow.

Sango shook her head slowly though the thoughtful look didn't dissipate. “There was something familiar about that woman,” she ventured. “Like . . . I had met her before, somewhere . . .”

Miroku took Marisaiko and held her against his shoulder. “The woman you told me about yesterday, right?” he asked.

“Yes . . .” She sighed and wrinkled her nose. “I'm sure it wasn't anything important or I would remember.”

InuYasha stood up and headed for the door. “Come on, wench. We've got some youkai to hunt.”

Kagome hopped up and hurried over to kiss Marisaiko's head before chasing InuYasha out of the hut.

Miroku watched them go with a bemused smile. “Does InuYasha ever let her out of his sight anymore? You should have seen the way he watched her when she came inside. If there were another door to this hut, I don't think he'd have let her go alone.”

Sango grinned. “Either that's really great or really awful,” she commented. Her smile faded as she gazed sadly at Marisaiko.

Miroku frowned. “All right, Sango. You've been like this since yesterday.”

Her smile was faked, and Miroku knew it. He didn't say anything about it. “Did you and Kagome have time to catch up?”

“Yes . . . she talked about Oro quite a bit, and that she thought InuYasha was afraid of ending up like him.”

Miroku nodded. “That's understandable. I think they'll be fine though.” Sango agreed as Miroku let her take Marisaiko to lay her down. “Did Kagome get to hold Mari?”

Sango's back stiffened for a moment. “Oh . . . no . . . she wanted to, but I was ready to feed her . . .”

Miroku frowned. “Sango . . . what's going on?”

“Nothing,” she assured him with an overly bright smile. “It's nothing!”

“Why do I have the feeling that it is something, and that you don't want to tell me about it?” he asked gently.

Sango sighed. “There's nothing to tell,” she replied. “Anyway, it's not important.”

He stared at her for another long moment as she moved around to gather the ingredients for their supper. He didn't believe that it really was as `nothing' as Sango said. He also knew her well enough to realize that he wouldn't get more out of her than what she had already said.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _So it is done_ . . .'

Hisadaicho stared into the rising mist with a satisfied smile.

` _Kagura . . . you have done well_ _. . ._ _Perhaps I should reward you for this_ . . .'

Or perhaps she already had her reward. How long had Kagura's restless soul wanted a physical body? As long as she had wandered on the breeze, as long as her essence had been returned to the ever-shifting wind.

The problem of the miko and her stubborn hanyou, though . . .

Hisadaicho's smile faded. The girl with the pure heart and her would-be lover . . . the talisman that protected them both . . .

“That blood bond is formidable,” Hisadaicho mused as she breathed in the swirling vapor, as a euphoria ebbed through her, “though perhaps it isn't formidable enough.”

Wandering toward the open window, Hisadaicho leaned on the frame, stared out into the dusk of night. ` _She must complete the cycle. She must empower her soul_ . . .'

Burning eyes floated before her. The face she saw was one she knew. She heard his voice in her mind, heard his whispered words. ` _It happened before; it can happen again. This is what is necessary._ _She must learn what it means to be possessed, my butterfly . . . to know the touch of the one she treasures. That is the key to unlocking her true power_ . . .'

Her true power.

The power of the mikos who had protected the Shikon no Tama in the years since its inception, a power that grew as the singular soul was reincarnated time and again . . .

This was the power that Hisadaicho needed. This was the goal.

` _To restore my koishii . . . I need her . . . and the hanyou will be powerless to stop me_.'

Once the hanyou accomplished his task, he would be far too easy to destroy.

Hisadaicho's smile returned. ` _Perhaps they need a bit of encouragement, a tiny shove in the right direction_ . . .'

Hisadaicho let her head fall back, uttered the silent cry that would bring Iwazawa to her.

Moments later the hulking form appeared in the doorway. “You summoned me, Hisadaicho-sama?”

Slowly, deliberately, Hisadaicho turned to gaze at the warrior. “Go to Musashi. Find InuYasha and destroy the talisman he possesses. Take care, Iwazawa. Do not harm him or his beloved miko.”

Iwazawa nodded, bowing curtly before he turned on his heel and strode out of the chamber as Hisadaicho nodded to herself. ` _Very soon, InuYasha . . . you and your miko will be mine_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha sat back against the wall and wondered again just how long Kagome was going to be upset with him this time.

Shifting his expression into the infamous pout, he settled back and waited, arms wrapped loosely around Tetsusaiga, while Kagome dug a small, rough-textured tan-colored stick-thing and began rubbing it against her fingernails.

It might not have worried him quite so much if she would at least yell at him or fuss about something. It wouldn't have bothered him nearly as badly if she would just grumble about it. The silent treatment, though, was enough to drive him crazy, and he ground his teeth together to keep from demanding that she stop it.

Extending her hand and stretching her fingers back, she inspected her nails, turning her hand from side to side. Satisfied with her work, she switched to the other hand and started the process again, ignoring him the entire time. He grimaced.

She finished the other hand and slipped the stick-thing back in her bag before producing a magazine and popping a square of pink bubble gum into her mouth. Seconds later, she was popping said gum repeatedly, and InuYasha dug his claws against the floor in an effort to keep from growling at her. That singular noise was enough to grate his very last nerve, and she _knew_ it.

Turning to flop onto her stomach, she kicked her feet in the air, smashing her heels together. The sound of her bones thudding together added to the unnecessary irritation, and InuYasha flattened his ears as his pout shifted into a scowl, as his claws dug into the wooden plank floor, as his jaw throbbed with the force he used to keep his mouth closed against her silent war.

Flailing her arm around behind her, she managed to snag the strap on her bag to pull it closer. InuYasha really didn't want to see what she was getting out of there now. He couldn't help but watch, though. Some sort of sick fascination, he supposed. ` _Keh! She can't do worse than what she's already doing, can she?_ ' He wrinkled his nose as a dull thud and a tiny rattle sounded over and over and should have warned him just what she had gotten out of the bloody bag but didn't.

Seconds later the most horrid scent assailed him, and he nearly whined out loud. ` _She_ _—_ _she_ _—_ _oh_ hell!' he fumed as Kagome calmly smashed her heels together, popped her gum, and painted her fingernails.

He couldn't stave back his sigh of relief when she finally, blessedly dropped the polish back into the bag. Deciding that he would conveniently lose that bottle at the first given opportunity, InuYasha contented himself with trying to believe that it just couldn't get much worse.

The crinkle of a candy wrapper made him glance over, and he growled low in his throat—not that she could hear him over the ruckus she was making already. Popping the cinnamon disk into her mouth, she crunched it along with the gum as he cringed, the sound of the breaking candy echoing in his ears as she wrinkled the wrapper in her fingers, kicked her heels together, resumed the gum popping, and crunched between as the scent of the damned polish lingered in the air and in his nose. The last strand of his nerves was fast unraveling, and he fought not to give in to the desire to bellow.

And then she did the unthinkable. Too dumbstruck to stop her since he'd never seen her do such a thing before, Kagome carefully straightened out the wrapper, held it tight in her hands, raised the damn bit of plastic to her lips . . . and blew.

The sound that came from that little bit of rubbish had him shooting to his feet and stomping over to her. Reaching down as he cringed, grinding his teeth together in a marked grimace, flattened his ears down to block as much of the ungodly racket as he could, and trying not to inhale too much of the much stronger fumes, InuYasha snatched the wrapper out of her hands and unlocked his jaw long enough to bellow, “That's fucking _enough!_ ” before he turned on his heel and stomped toward the door.

“InuYasha,” she called after him, her voice serene, calm.

“What?” he growled without stopping.

“You can't leave, remember? I'm not allowed to be out of your sight. Isn't that what you told the headman when he asked if you wanted a room of your own?” She sat up when he stopped. “Isn't that what you said when I said I had to use the bathroom earlier? Isn't that what you said when I said that I didn't need to go with you when _you_ had to do the same thing? Isn't that what you said when I said I couldn't eat that rabbit that you _made_ me watch you kill? Isn't that what you said when I said I—”

“All right!” he thundered. “You made your fucking point already!”

“I'm not done!” she yelled as she scampered to her feet.

“What else is there?” he bellowed as he shoved Tetsusaiga through his waist band.

“There's the fact that you _completely_ freaked out when the headman asked if we were married since you _had_ to say that I wasn't allowed to sleep alone, baka!”

“ _That's_ what you're so mad about? _We ain't married!_ ”

“I _know_ we're not, but do you have to act like you'd rather be _dead_ than married to me?”

He recoiled at the anger in her voice as her cheeks blossomed in indignant color and tears brightened her glare. ` _Nice, baka! Damn it_ . . .' Wincing, InuYasha drew a deep breath and tamped down the desire to run far, far away. “That's not what I meant! I wasn't trying to . . . oh hell, wench!”

She clamped her mouth closed and flopped back down on her futon, rolling so that she wasn't facing him anymore.

InuYasha stifled a frustrated growl. Everything had been fine when they left Miroku and Sango's hut. They'd set off to find the youkai that were waylaying travelers, but no one in any of the nearby villages had heard any rumors of the sort. In the end, they'd stopped by one of the villages they'd helped with a rat youkai infestation, and the headman had insisted that they spend the night, which would have been fine until he ordered two rooms to be prepared for them. Before he thought about it, InuYasha had stupidly blurted that one room would do nicely, and the headman, with a rather shocked expression, had asked if they had been married recently.

He sighed as the conversation replayed in his head.

“ _I take it you two have been married since the last time_ _you were here_ _?” the headman asked with a frown_.

“ _Uh,” Kagome hedged as a flush streaked up her cheeks_.

“ _Keh! Why would you ask a stupid thing like tha_ _t? Of course w_ _e ain't married!” InuYasha snarled_.

_The headman looked even more confused. “I see . . . but I have accommodation enough for the both of you_ . . .”

“ _One room,” InuYasha growled. “She don't leave my sight_ _. She ain't sleeping alone_ _, got it?_ ”

_Kagome choked out a cough. “InuYasha_ —”

“ _No way, wench!” he snarled. “I ain't taking any chances!_ ”

“ _But_ —”

“ _If you're not married,” the headman cut in with a slight bow, “it isn't very . . . seemly . . . to put you in the same room_ _. . ._ _If you want to_ visit _each other, I can't stop you_ . . .”

_As the man's insinuation sank in, InuYasha's face flamed, too. “_ _What the fuck? It ain't like that, damn it!_ ”

“ _I don't understand . . . if you're not married and you're not . . . involved . . . then why the need to stay in the same room?” the headman pressed_.

“ _We'll take the two room_ _s_ _, thanks,” Kagome squeaked, unable to look anyone in the eye as she stared at her feet. “And I'll lock my door_.”

_The_ _headman shook his head. “_ _Is someone trying to attack you?_ ”

“ _No,” Kagome forced herself to answer. “But you're right. We aren't married or involved, and it would look bad.” Mustering as much dignity as she could, Kagome raised her chin, eyes suspiciously bright. “I think I need to go to bed now . . . if you'll excuse me_.”

_InuYasha wheeled around on his heel and stomped after her, shoving the door open when she tried to close it behind her_.

He sighed. That scene had culminated in this one, and now that he thought about it, he had to allow that he should have handled it better than he did.

“Okay,” he grumbled as he shuffled away from the door. “I'm sorry.”

Kagome didn't answer though she did narrow her gaze at his surly apology.

InuYasha edged closer. “What did you want me to say to him?”

She sat up with a heavy sigh and shook her head as she stared at her hands, folded in her lap. “It's not _what_ you said, InuYasha. It was the _way_ you said it, that's all.”

He snorted as he hunkered down beside her. “You don't get it at all, do you? No one `chooses' to be with a hanyou, especially not . . . they just don't. All those people . . . they would have thought I brainwashed you or something.”

“No, I get it just fine. You're the one who wants to believe the worst of everyone, and even then, what does it matter, what any of them think? What matters is what you think . . . and what I think . . . and I think—no, I _believe_ —that you're a better man than any of them, even if you are only half human.”

“Why?”

She shrugged as she turned to stare at him. “Because I know you and because you know me, too.”

He stared at her for several seconds. “I think you've lost your mind. Maybe you've been in the sun too long.”

She grinned and lay back down. He dangled the vial over her head, and she shook it then watched as he did the same before he stretched out beside her.

“You know . . . I was thinking . . . Maybe some part of Hisadaicho is still Emi . . . If she didn't kill Old Seer . . .”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. You're joking, right?”

She shook her head. “No . . . if she was all bad, wouldn't she have killed Old Seer?”

“Go to sleep, wench. You're making my head hurt.”

Kagome sighed. “Good night.”

He pulled her close. She cuddled against his side as he frowned at the ceiling. “Night, wench.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Hisadaicho:**  
>  Just a nudge in the right direction …


	54. Envy

 

~~ ** _Chapter 54_** ~~  
~ ** _Envy_** ~

 

“So no one had heard anything about any recent youkai appearances?” Sango asked as she scrubbed some clothes in the shallow river near the bank.

Kagome took the garment that Sango had finished and dipped it in cleaner water to rinse it. “No . . . it was strange, really . . . we went to all the nearby villages, but no one had heard a thing.”

“That _is_ odd . . .”

Kagome wrinkled her nose as she spread the garment out to dry. InuYasha caught her gaze and blinked as he stared back at her. She quickly looked away as a flush stole up her cheeks and a small smile surfaced. Miroku sat beside InuYasha in the shade of an old sakura tree with the baby in his lap. Marisaiko leaned over and grabbed a fistful of InuYasha's hair, squealing happily as the hanyou winced and flattened his ears. To her surprise, Kagome watched as InuYasha carefully untangled the girl's fingers and flipped his hair back out of her reach. With a widening smile, Kagome grabbed the next article of clothing and started rinsing.. “Anyway, we can't figure it out.”

“Are you going to go after Hisadaicho again?”

When Kagome didn't answer, Sango glanced over at her. “Kagome?”

Kagome shook her head slowly, her shoulders slumping as she heaved a sigh. “I don't know . . . we may, but . . . InuYasha can't fight her.”

Sango seemed to be considering something as she slowed in her washing. “Maybe . . . maybe Miroku and I should come along? Surely we can help . . .”

“But the baby . . . ?”

Sango didn't meet Kagome's concerned gaze. “We could bring her . . .”

Kagome dropped the garment she'd been rinsing and peeked over her shoulder again. Assured that InuYasha was at least out of earshot, she leaned toward Sango. “I think . . . there's another way to break the toxin's control,” she murmured, carefully staring away from her friend as she tried to keep herself from blushing.

“There is?” Sango questioned, her eyebrows arching in surprise.

“Kaede said so, and Bokuseno agreed . . . but . . . I don't know if . . . if we should . . . I mean, I _want_ him to be able to fight her, and I don't like what it does to him, to see her with my face. I think that if we did break the toxin's control, it would help him, but at the same time, I just worry. It seems like a bad reason to do that sort of thing, and I know girls in my time do it without a second thought, but I don't know if _I_ could, and . . . I just don't know . . . you know?”

Sango shook her head slowly. “Uh . . . no, Kagome . . . just what are you trying to say?”

Kagome grimaced as she squeezed water out of the garment. “We . . . if we acted out his . . . dreams . . .” Sango's eyes widened, understanding finally dawning on her as Kagome struggled to keep a level of nonchalance in her tone that she absolutely wasn't feeling. “I mean . . . it'd only be one night, right . . . ?”

“You don't know? He hasn't told you?” Sango asked quietly.

“Told me what?”

The youkai exterminator sat back on her heels, all pretenses of washing the laundry forgotten. “Inu-youkai are some of the fiercest, most loyal youkai there are, Kagome. When they take a mate, it isn't for just one night.”

Kagome's numb mind slowed even more. “When they . . . ? But . . . he wouldn't be . . . I mean, he never said . . .”

“Inu-youkai don't do . . . _that_ . . . Only with their mates, and once is enough.”

Eyes widening, Kagome squelched a groan. Memories flooded back to her, the times she'd bugged him about what he had been dreaming . . . the promise he'd made to take care of her . . . the look in his eyes when he'd challenged her, when she tried to play with his ears . . . the pained expression on his face when he moved away from her time and again . . .“So that's why he won't tell me . . .”

A sudden quickening in her heart flickered to life, a cautious hope kindled, lit . . . ` _Forever? I . . . that's what I want, isn't it? Forever, with InuYasha . . . but . . . what does he want . . . ?_ '

More to the point, how would she find out?

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Tell me what you're thinking about?”

InuYasha snorted and shook his head. “About wenches that talk to damn much.”

Kagome reached over her shoulder and gently tugged InuYasha's hair. “Baka. Seriously. You've been so quiet all day . . . what's bothering you?”

“Keh. I thought you said you knew me. You don't know what I'm thinking?”

She shrugged as she wiggled her shoulders to get more comfortable. “Not always, no . . . I never said I could read your mind.”

Drawing his knee up, he shifted behind her. “If you fall, it's your own fault,” he pointed out when she kept ferreting around.

“You wouldn't let me fall,” she contradicted.

“It ain't a question of `letting' you do it,” he argued. “You'd fall, then you'd be sorry.”

Finally satisfied with the way she was settled, Kagome sighed in contentment and tipped her head back to peek at InuYasha's face. Staring out over his forest with a thoughtful frown drawing his brows together, he seemed like he was a million miles away. “You never told me what Sesshoumaru and you talked about after I left,” Kagome pointed out.

InuYasha glanced at her and shrugged. “Weren't nothin',” he answered

“Hmm, tell me why I don't believe that,” she drawled as she squirmed again, this time to face him. Carefully leaning against InuYasha, Kagome straddled the branch and inched forward. “So tell me the truth, dog-boy.”

He blinked slowly as he stared at her. “I-i-isn't that a little uncomfortable, wench?'

“Nope, now answer the question.”

“What question?”

“What did you and Sesshoumaru talk about?”

“When?”

“At his house?”

“The castle?”

“No, his house in Tokyo.”

“Oh . . . nothing.”

“InuYasha?”

“Huh?”

She arched her eyebrows as she deliberately lifted his chin, forcing his eyes up away from the branch between them. “Why are you flattening your ears?”

“I'm not.”

“You are,” she countered as she caught his ears and rubbed. Arching her back as she leaned toward him, Kagome was relentless as she kept fondling the appendages. The low growl that escaped his lips was tight, controlled, completely primal.

“Wench!” he grumbled as she jerked his head back.

She leaned forward even further. “Honestly, you'd think you were never taught how to share,” she complained as she scooted closer.

“And since when is torturing my ears `sharing'?”

“Give me one good reason to stop.”

The look he shot her stayed her hands as she reached for his ears once more. Gaze blazing with unbridled emotion, he silently dared her to reach for him again. Kagome swallowed hard as slow comprehension dawned on her, and it suddenly made sense. The reasons he always got so irritated with her when she tried to play with his ears . . . ` _He likes it . . . a little_ too _much_ . . .'

“S-Sorry,” she muttered as her hands dropped to the branch.

His cheeks reddened as he crossed his arms over his chest and shifted his gaze out over the forest.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Sango trudged up the path from the river with a basket of dried clothes in her arms. Miroku had offered to go after the laundry, but he had been having such a good time playing with Marisaiko that Sango didn't want to interrupt them.

She smiled as some of the village children darted across the path in their play.

It was nice, having Kagome and InuYasha around the village lately. They'd spent over a week here this time, and Sango didn't realize how much she had missed her friends until they had been around. Even though they were still trying to figure out some way to defeat the butterfly hanyou's toxin, they had chosen to stick closer to home for awhile.

She sighed as a slight shadow passed through her thoughts. ` _I was crazy to think that Kagome would ever try to take back Marisaiko,_ ' she told herself. She'd watched her friend play with her daughter, and while Kagome did seem more than happy to watch the baby, she never, ever gave any indication that she even thought about trying to take her away.

With a frown, Sango set the clothes down inside her hut. Miroku hadn't been outside, and he wasn't in here, either. She gave a mental shrug. Maybe he'd gone to see Kaede . . .

Grabbing her sewing basket and a small pile of things that needed to be mended, she ducked back outside to take full advantage of the afternoon sunshine.

Stopping short as she glanced at the forest then away only to look back once more, Sango's eyes narrowed. Kagome was heading into the forest with her backpack slung over her shoulders and Marisaiko in her arms.

` _I'd be frightened that she would seek to reclaim her_.'

Without pausing to think about it, Sango dropped the basket and ran after Kagome.

“Kagome!”

The miko either didn't hear her or was ignoring her because Kagome kept moving. Sango sped up. ` _If she goes through the well with her, I'll never see Mari again_ . . .'

Halfway down the trail that led to the Bone Eater's Well, Sango saw Kagome stop long enough to adjust the tiny bonnet she'd brought back for Marisaiko to keep the sun out of the baby's face before Kagome started walking again. Common sense told her that she wasn't even sure if Marisaiko could get through the well and that Kagome certainly wouldn't jump in with the baby if she wasn't sure. Common sense had no room in her thoughts at the moment.

“Kagome!”

Kagome stopped abruptly and turned, a bright smile breaking over her features as Sango closed the distance. “Look, Mari! There's Mama!”

Marisaiko squealed happily as she waved her hands toward Sango.

“Where are you going?” Sango asked as she grabbed her daughter and tried to catch her breath. “Why didn't you stop?”

Kagome's smile faded when she saw the angry glint in Sango's eyes. “I didn't hear you . . .”

“Why do _you_ have her?”

Kagome shook her head. “Miroku didn't have a diaper, so I took her back to change her . . . Sango? What's wrong?”

“Where is he? Where's Miroku? He had her! He said he'd watch her!”

Kagome tried to reach out, to touch Sango's arm. Sango retreated, cradling Marisaiko against her shoulder. The child sensed Sango's upset and started to whimper. Kagome let her arm drop. “He's in the meadow with InuYasha . . . There was a dragonfly youkai . . .”

Sango swallowed, hearing Kagome's calm words, her concerned tone. She closed her eyes, biting back the panic that still twisted her stomach. “I'm sorry,” she mumbled, feeling hot color flood her cheeks. “I don't know what I was thinking.”

When she opened her eyes again, though, she winced. Kagome's gaze was full of tears, and the girl was trying to smile for Sango's benefit. “I just remembered . . . I have to go home . . .”

“Kagome, wait!” Sango called as Kagome turned on her heel and ran. Kagome knew what Sango had thought.

Kagome didn't stop.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“The youkai of late don't seem to give you much trouble, do they?” Miroku observed as InuYasha sat down by the well, leaning back against the wall.

“Keh! That one was weak,” he scoffed.

Miroku shrugged. “Could it be the manifestations of some other frustrations?”

InuYasha shifted his gaze to the side to meet the monk's overly-innocent expression. “I don't think I like where you're going with this.”

Miroku's eyebrows shot to protest his innocence. “Got something on your mind, InuYasha?”

“No, I don't think I do.” Glancing over Miroku's head, InuYasha started to rise as Kagome shot out of the forest, barreling straight toward them. He could smell the salt of her tears, and he opened his mouth to stop her. She uttered a choked sob as she streaked past him and vaulted into the well.

“What in the—?” Miroku began as he stood and turned to see Sango with Marisaiko in her arms. The slayer was running as fast as she dared with the child, and as she drew closer to them, InuYasha frowned, smelling her tears, too.

“What the fuck is going on?” InuYasha growled as Sango stopped.

Miroku took the baby as Sango peeked over the side of the well. “I upset her,” Sango admitted as she wiped away her tears. “I'm such a fool! I knew she'd never have done it, but . . .”

“Done what?” InuYasha demanded.

Sango flinched and shook her head, wringing her hands as she stared from Marisaiko to Miroku. “I . . . I thought she was taking her . . . I thought Kagome meant to steal Marisaiko back . . .”

He tried to keep his temper in check. He really, really did. Glancing over the side of the well, himself, the lingering scent of Kagome's tears assailed him once more, and he lost what little control he had. “You thought _what?_ ” he bellowed.

“But I knew she wouldn't . . . the woman said that it isn't that easy, to give up your own child, and . . . I know Kagome wouldn't have taken her. I just . . . I just panicked.” Turning pleading eyes that were awash with more tears, Sango stared at InuYasha. “Please . . . can you bring her back?”

“Why? So you can hurt her again? Do you know how hard it's been for her to get past all that in the first place?” he screamed.

Miroku reached out to grab InuYasha's arm. “InuYasha, Sango's had difficulty with this, too. Perhaps they really do need to speak about it. _All_ of it.”

“Well, hell, Miroku, that'll help,” InuYasha spat as he rounded on the monk.

“She chose to do this for us,” Miroku said calmly. “She knew—”

“She knew! She knew that the second she'd birthed the pup you both took her. Did either of you ask Kagome if she was okay? Did either of you look at Kagome? No, because you were both too busy arguing over a fucking name!”

“And how do you think it felt to see someone else give birth to my daughter? The daughter I wanted to give Miroku!” Sango interrupted. “How do you think it felt to see Kagome every day, growing larger and larger with the child that I couldn't carry?”

“All I fucking know is that if Kagome wanted her back, she'd never have given her to you, to start with!” he snarled. “So back the fuck off!”

“This isn't helping,” Miroku stated before either of the others could say more. “The point is, Sango overacted and admits as much, and there isn't a thing we can do, InuYasha. This really needs to be between Sango and Kagome.”

InuYasha hopped up onto the ledge and shook his head stubbornly. “I won't bring her back if she ain't willing,” he told them before he dropped into the darkness.

The time slip opened up as he fell. Sango sank down on the edge of the well and stifled a sob with the back of her hand. “Miroku . . . I'm sorry.”

Miroku set Marisaiko on her mother's lap before kneeling in front of Sango, wrapping his arms around them both. “You're human, Sango.”

“But she's my friend . . . and I . . .”

Miroku kissed her forehead. “And you're a mother, too. Protecting your child . . . that's what a mother does.”

“What if Kagome won't come back?” she whispered.

Miroku shook his head. “She will. She loves you. I think . . . I think she did this more for you than for me, because she loves you.”

Sango choked back more tears. “I feel so guilty, having these selfish thoughts . . .”

Miroku tilted her chin, forced her to look into his eyes as he smiled wanly. “For every guilty, selfish thought you've had, haven't you also been grateful, too?”

Sango nodded. “Yes, of course . . .”

Miroku sighed. “And don't you think that perhaps Kagome might have the same sort of thoughts, too?”

Sango nodded again. “I knew that woman was wrong . . . she said that I should be frightened that Kagome would try to take her back. I know in my heart that Kagome wouldn't do that, and yet . . . I was afraid.”

He caught her hand and pulled her to her feet. “Come, Sango. Let's go home. Waiting here isn't going to get them back any faster, and I'm sure that InuYasha will bring her. If Kagome is half the woman we know she is, she'll listen. It really is time for you both to come clean, you know?”

Sango sighed, leaning her head against Miroku's arm as he led her back toward the path. “You're right. How do you know so much?”

He chuckled softly. “Everything I know I learned from a beautiful youkai exterminator who stole my heart the first time she slapped me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  Sango?


	55. Mates

 

~~ ** _Chapter 55_** ~~  
~ ** _Mates_** ~

 

InuYasha slid Kagome's window open and winced as the tang of her tears hit him square in the face. Lying on her stomach with her face buried in her fluffy pillow, Kagome's thin shoulders shook with the power of her sobs. He dropped onto the floor and hesitantly approached her.

“Kagome?” he said as he knelt beside her, clumsily rubbed her back. “Don't . . . don't cry, okay?”

If she heard him, she didn't give any indication. Her sobs continued, and he flattened his ears against the sound of her breaking heart.

` _Mate . . . cry . . . hurts_ . . .'

Blinking in confusion as he tried to think of something to make her stop crying, InuYasha couldn't figure out who had spoken in his mind. For some reason that he couldn't comprehend, the sound of her upset hurt him deep, and the need to rid her of her pain was almost overwhelming. “Kagome, stop! Please stop,” he begged.

Kagome gasped softly and turned her head, her watery gaze locking with his seconds before she threw herself against him. He stumbled back but caught her, holding her against his shoulder as she sobbed.

` _Mate . . . soothe mate . . . stop cry . . . mate_ . . .'

The desire to protect her from her own pain made him grimace when he realized there wasn't a damn thing he could do. Had he ever felt so helpless before? He flattened his ears. No, he hadn't . . .

` _Mate suffer . . . make better._ '

` _Whose voice is that?_ ' he wondered as he tightened his hold on Kagome. She was trying to stop crying. He could tell from the way she struggled to breathe . . . It hit him, suddenly, that voice he heard. ` _That voice . . . it's . . . my youkai blood?_ '

` _Soothe mate . . . soothe mate_ . . .'

He shook his head. ` _Soothe her . . . how?_ '

As if in answer, the low rumble welled up in him, spilled out of him, and he remembered. The night she'd birthed Marisaiko and other times, as well, for some reason, the low rumble comforted her. She stopped sobbing and pressed her ear against his chest with a hiccup, a sigh.

“She . . . she thinks I was trying to steal Mari,” Kagome mumbled quietly between sniffles, between ragged breaths.

“She panicked. She's sorry,” InuYasha told her.

Kagome shook her head. “I wouldn't, you know? I . . . she's their daughter, not mine . . . I wouldn't!”

“. . . I know.”

“I just wanted Sango to be happy . . .”

He swallowed the lump that rose in his throat. “I know, and she does, too.”

“I don't think she does.”

“She wanted me to bring you back. She wanted to tell you she's sorry.”

Kagome closed her eyes, leaned closer in his embrace. “I can't, not tonight . . . not tonight.”

He nodded as he smoothed her hair, inelegantly wiped the remaining tears off her cheek. “Kagome? Don't cry, okay? I . . . I hate it when you cry . . .”

She tried to smile. “Why are you being so nice?”

He wrinkled his nose. “Keh! I can be nice.”

She sighed again. “Yes, I suppose you can . . .”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _I can't sleep_.'

Kagome could hear herself blink as she stared at the ceiling. Because InuYasha had seemed uncharacteristically sleepy, she had pretended to be tired around ten, just to get him to lie down since she knew he'd never admit that he was exhausted. She knew he'd been preoccupied lately with Hisadaicho. It was a wonder he slept at all, really.

She'd been awake all night. Making a face as she glanced at her clock, she sighed inwardly and shifted her gaze back toward the ceiling. ` _Two-thirty . . . and I haven't slept at all_ . . .'

Spending the majority of the time trying to think of what she would say to Sango when she went back, worried that she really had somehow done something to make Sango believe that she was going to try to take Marisaiko away, Kagome had feigned sleep after shaking the vial until InuYasha's even breathing and the low rumbling sound he made told her that he was asleep.

` _Why would_ _Sango_ _even think that?_ ' Kagome asked herself again. ` _I wouldn't take Marisaiko . . . she was never really mine, to start with_ . . .'

InuYasha's arms tightened around her. “K'gome,” he mumbled, burying his nose in her hair. She smiled sadly. He'd been so gentle, so careful with her since he had come after her, almost as though he feared she would burst into tears all over again, and yet his concern only made her feel so much worse.

Carefully extricating herself from his grasp, Kagome stumbled out of the bed and padded across the room to slip out into the hallway.

Maybe she'd feel more like sleeping if she had a snack . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“ _InuYasha . . . I've been waiting for you_.”

  
_InuYasha skidded to a halt under Goshinboku, peering up through the branches as Kagome smiled down at him, face flushed, the tangy scent coming from her filling his senses as he struggled to figure out why her scent was so encompassing. Settled back against the tree trunk with her legs dangling from both sides of the thick branch, her shoulder was moving, and her scent grew stronger. “How'd you get way up there?_ ”

  
_An impish grin rewarded him for his question. “I flew, silly, how do you think?_ ”

  
_He shook his head. “You can't fly, wench_.”

“ _I can, whenever I think about you_.”

_He pushed off the ground and landed neatly beside her_ _, gaze widening in shock as comprehension slowly, almost painfully, washed over him. Skirt hiked way up, thin cotton panties lying on the branch in front of her, she slowly stroked herself as her gaze met his. “I want you, InuYasha, and I'm tired of waiting_.'

“ _W-wh-what are you doing?” he blurted as he gaped._ _Her_ _fingers_ _shone_ _in the pale moonlight as another wave of scent hit him hard_.

“ _What? You think that modern girls don't know how to take matters into their own hands, so to speak?” she teased, her voice dropping to a husky whisper_.

“ _K-Kagome_ . . .”

“ _You could do it for me, InuYasha . . . or you could just watch_ _. . ._ _” Her head fell to the side as her eyelids fluttered closed, cheeks flushing darker as her body rose against her own wiggling fingers._ _She gasped, panted, moaned as her scent grew thicker in his nostrils, as the lure of that darker aroma tugged at him_.

_With one loud cry, she arched away from the tree, breasts thrusting against the pitifully thin cover of her blouse, nipples beckoning him through her bra, through her blouse, begging for his touch in the moonlight before she collapsed back against the tree again_ . . .

_It took a few moments for her breathing to slow, for her to regain her will as she forced her eyes open once more. With a mysterious smile, she leaned forward, caught his hand, pulled him forward, closer and closer. She hissed out a long breath when his palm smashed against her, his fingers hot in the wash of her body's desire._ _As though his body had a will all its own, InuYasha gasped as he sank a finger into her, reveling in the consuming fire that surrounded him, the liquid heat that scalded him_.

_Her fragrance tugged at him again. Senses buzzing, an invisible cord wrapping around him seemed to draw him closer, nearer. He wanted to know why she smelled so strongly, what had set her body into those moans and cries. Pulling his hand away from her only to_ _shift,_ _half-prone on the branch, letting his senses bring him closer_ _to her body, closer to her heat._ _T_ _he air around her was balmy, humid like the summer before a storm, and before he could think about it, his tongue darted out, flicked against her, inside her, and her body snapped again as her impassioned cries echoed through the forest_.

_Her responses goaded his, drove him further in his exploration as she writhed, as she trembled. Her muscles were tense, rigid, strung tightly, about to break. She called out his name time and again, and he whined as he tasted all of her, as she lifted her hips to grind against his tongue_ . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome turned off the burner and dumped the tomato soup into an oversized mug. Standing at the kitchen window, she stared over the darkened world as she sipped the hot liquid.

` _Maybe I wouldn't be as worried about it if I could just figure out why Sango feels like she does. I've never really done anything to make her think I'd take Marisaiko away from her . . . I wouldn't_ _. . ._ _But why does she think I would?_ ' She sighed and shook her head as her gaze fell to the contents of the mug, black in the darkness.

She'd never been one to procrastinate. Still the idea of going back, of trying to convince Sango that she was sincere in her insistence that she had no intention of trying to reclaim Marisaiko . . .

Taking another deep swallow, she winced. ` _Too hot_ ,' she thought as she sucked in a few deep breaths to assuage her scalded tongue. Making a face, she stuck out her tongue and crossed her eyes as she tried to look at it.

` _Now you're being stupid, Kagome. You can't see your own tongue_ ,' she chided herself as she took a more careful sip of the hot soup.

She set the mug on the counter to cool and nibbled on a few rice crackers. The look on Sango's face haunted her, the look of shock, the hurt of betrayal, and Kagome shivered. Sango was as close as Kagome ever had to a real sister. That she believed Kagome would do such a thing cut her to the quick.

She drank the rest of the soup and washed out the mug as she tried to shove aside the tiny voice in her mind that whispered that she had to have done something to make Sango think that way. ` _Maybe she found out about your slip, that you called Marisaiko yours that one time_ . . .'

Kagome shook her head. The only other person who knew of that incident was InuYasha, and he wouldn't have told, that she knew.

She stacked the clean dishes on a dishtowel beside the sink and dried her hands before heading back to her bedroom.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

  
_It wasn't enough_.

_Tasting her, hearing her call out, feeling her body react to him shot straight through him, culminated in a painful ache. “Kagome,” he murmured against her_.

_She understood. Strengthening her resolve, she sat up, her eyes a molten blackness of smoldering fire, and she carefully crawled toward him, pushed his shoulders to sit him up, too. Leaning back against a fork in the branches, he watched, spellbound, as she deftly worked the ties of his hakama._ _A throaty growl slipped out of her as she yanked his pants down, as she freed him. “I know what you need,” she whispered, staring at him as she slowly wrapped her hands around him. He gasped out something that should have been her name, her touch shooting through his body as the reverberations, the echoes of the wind whistled in his ears_.

_Closing her eyes as she lowered her mouth over him, searing his skin as his body jerked in her grasp, Kagome drew him in deep, caressing the length of him with her tongue. He couldn't stave back the whine that escaped as she let her lips travel up and down him, faster and faster, sucking on him as if she were trying to draw out his very soul. He reached behind his head, grasped the branch as he dug his claws into the rough bark, biting his bottom lip so hard he drew blood, and still she was relentless. Her scent escalated, spiked higher, stronger, as she took him deeper and deeper. He could feel himself hit the back of her throat, and still she wanted more_.

_One of her hands fell away from him, and when he forced his eyes open, he saw her kneeling before him, knees spread_ _, her fingers pummeling in and out of herself with the same rhythm as she used on him. He could feel himself thicken in her mouth, felt the rising_ _well of something almost painful. G_ _asping, he leaned forward as he pushed her back, drove her down against the branch as he_ _plunged_ _himself_ _into her. She rose up with a strangled cry that echoed with his in the silence of the night._ _Bodies moving in unison, she lifted her hips against him as he surged in her. She dug her fingernails into his shoulders, his back as his forehead dropped against her shoulder, his hair spilling over the side to cascade like a silvery waterfall_.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome stopped at the top of the stairs, face contorting in a frown. The sound she'd heard sounded almost like a whine, almost like a groan. “InuYasha?” she whispered as she cocked her head to the side to listen. Again the sound drifted to her, and she shook her head. ` _Is he having a nightmare?_ ' Her frown darkened. Somehow, she couldn't picture him having a nightmare, but still, there was something odd about the noises he was making . . .

She hurried down the hallway and slipped back into her room, careful to close the door quietly before turning to look at him. Her gasp was loud enough that it actually echoed in the room as her hands shot up to cover her drop-mouthed expression. Eyes wide in incredulous panic, she couldn't do more than stare at the half-clothed hanyou sprawled on her bed with his hands places they shouldn't be and parts of him that she hadn't ever seen quite like that were fully exposed.

` _Kami-kami-kami-kami-kami! Don't look!_ ' her mind hissed at her as he groaned louder.

The trouble was, as much as she wanted to look away as her face exploded in what had to be the darkest flush ever, she . . . well, she _couldn't_. It was like a train wreck. She knew she shouldn't be watching this, and yet she couldn't seem to help herself, either. He had to be sleeping, she knew that much. There was no way he'd do what he was doing where he was doing it if he was awake.

` _Oh, kami, he's . . . he's . . . touching_ . . . it!' she squeaked to herself as she tried to force her eyes away again. Retreating until the small of her back hit the door handle painfully hard, she winced without looking away.

And she could see the muscles along his forearms tense, corded, thick under his skin as he stroked himself. Fascinated and yet wholly aware that he'd either die of embarrassment or she would, if he found out that she was witnessing . . . what he was doing. The sounds he uttered seemed almost pained. Kagome's palms slipped from her mouth to her cheeks, as though she had to hold her skin in place before the embarrassed heat that was fast becoming a burn melted her skin right off. His movements were rough, jerking, and with a wince, she couldn't help but wonder if he was actually hurting himself.

` _Look away, Kagome! Get out of here!_ '

` _Right_ ,' she thought absently. ` _Out of here_ . . .'

But her feet wouldn't move.

` _InuYasha's on my bed asleep, touching . . ._ it _. . . and . . . and . . . oh I have got to get out of here!_ ' she thought wildly, finally managing to reach behind her back to grab the door handle.

Wrenching it open with a vicious yank, Kagome started out of the room when InuYasha's voice stopped her again. “Ka . . . Kagome . . .”

Her heart stopped for long, painful seconds as she stared blankly at the hanyou on her bed. ` _He's dreaming . . . about . . . me?_ '

Again, she paused. He lifted his hips off the bed as his hand stroked up and down. Kagome swallowed hard as another wave of heat brought and even darker hue to her skin.

` _He'd never want you to see this!_ ' her mind screamed, and she knew it was right.

His moans grew harsher, raspier, louder, and Kagome's eyes widened even more as he mumbled nonsense words punctuated with little whines, rough growls.

A small noise from the hallway caught her attention, and Kagome gasped, darting out of her room and closing the door as she feverishly glanced up and down the hallway. Quickly tiptoeing from room to room, she satisfied herself that everyone else was still asleep. Only after checking the last room—Grandpa's room—and finding him still snoring did she relax a little.

With a sigh, she shuffled down the hallway toward the stairs. Buyo ran past her, flicking his tail against her ankles as she smothered a surprised yelp. “Buyo!” she scolded, both irritated and relieved that the disturbance was only the family's pet.

After retrieving a blanket from the hall closet, Kagome stumbled into the living room and flopped down on the sofa. True, there was a guest bedroom upstairs, but anywhere on the same level of the house as InuYasha wasn't something she wanted to think about. Putting space between him and what she had felt under the shock and disbelief, Kagome grimaced. Even in the wan light, the savageness of his actions had been . . .

She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment. The same rough grace, the same primal dexterity . . .

Covering herself from head to toe with the blanket, Kagome stared at the ceiling. ` _But he . . . didn't he shake the vial?_ '

She sighed. She wasn't sure if he had or not since she'd rolled over just after she shook it. Normally he shook it just after she did. Besides that, he was always so adamant about shaking the stupid thing that it just wasn't like him to simply forget . . .

` _But if he did shake it, then why would he have a dream like . . . that?_ '

Frowning at into the darkness, Kagome tried to make sense of everything. ` _Maybe . . . he . . ._ _he wants to_ . . .'

Blushing at her own forward thoughts as memories of InuYasha, bathed in moonlight on her bed filtered back to her as a slow and steady tension built in her. He had shaken the vial and still had a dream like that . . . ? ` _And maybe I . . . I want that, too_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha awoke with a start in the silent room. His heart was pounding in his ears, breathing heavy and harsh. His hakama were shoved down, and, he realized with a sickened feeling as he jerked his hands back, he was still stroking himself.

Where was Kagome?

With a low moan, he arched up off the bed to drag his hakama back up and retie them with a wince as his body protested the reminder that he hadn't spent himself. ` _Fuck!_ ' he berated himself. ` _What the hell . . . ?_ ”

And slowly the dream came back to him. The moan shifted into a frustrated growl as he swung his feet off the bed and sat up. ` _Baka! How could I be so fucking careless! Kagome shook the vial, but I_ . . .'

He flopped back, dragging his hands over his face. She'd shaken the vial, all right. He had been so wrapped up in watching her, in making sure that she wasn't trying to hide her upset, that he . . .

He'd forgotten to do the same.

` _Baka, baka, baka, baka, baka!_ ' he fumed, smashing the heels of his hands against his eyes.

But why wasn't Kagome here? He sat up again, sniffing the air. Wincing as the smell of his own stimulation hit him, he forced himself to concentrate. Her scent lingered—of course it would, since he was in her bedroom. He could vaguely discern her scent, a faint trace of her aura nearby. ` _Kami, what if she saw . . . ?_ '

Ears flattening as he sighed, InuYasha shook his head. If she saw what he had been doing and had run away, or if he had scared her away . . . He wasn't sure if he ought to be happy that she wasn't there or worry because of it. Embarrassment aside, he knew deep down that he didn't want to claim her as his mate because of a dream. For that reason, he could be glad that she wasn't here, no matter the reason.

Or what if . . .

He groaned. Had he done something in his sleep to chase her away? What if he had tried to . . . well, act out his dreams? Would Kagome have run away from him then?

A million memories of her blushes, of her nervousness when he'd only brushed her hand sailed though his mind. She didn't pull away or hide from him now, but that didn't mean she wouldn't have freaked out if she woke up with him doing . . . _something_ . . . to her . . .

` _That's because what you were doing . . . it's not natural. It's not normal!_ '

InuYasha winced. Normal or not, he couldn't help but feel like he'd done something colossally stupid . . .

Had he scared her away?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> _`Dream' Kagome is SUPPOSED to be completely OOC because he's thought it before, and because of the toxin's effects. He doesn't like `dream' Kagome and feels like he doesn't really know her, as he does in the dreams they share or when they're both awake. This whole chapter was to illustrate this difference since I hadn't done that before, and to show exactly what he does dream when under the toxin's effects._  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  …Uhhh … ummm …  
> ==========


	56. Clearing the Air

 

~~ ** _Chapter 56_** ~~  
~ ** _Clearing the Air_** ~

 

InuYasha flattened his ears as Kagome walked beside him toward the well house. She wouldn't even look at him and had barely spoken more than a sentence in the few hours since he had felt safe enough to emerge from her bedroom.

` _Stupid! Baka! She'll never talk to_ _me again;_ _me and my_ _fucking_ _hentai_ _dreams . . ._ _how could I forget to shake that damn bottle?_ ”

“You sure you want to go back now?” InuYasha grumbled as they entered the well-house. “You could come back later.”

She sighed. “No, I . . . I need to talk to Sango.”

“Why would she think you were trying to run off with the pup?” InuYasha couldn't help but ask.

Kagome shrugged. “I took her back to change her, and I didn't hear Sango call after me. Even when I told her I was just taking her back to Miroku . . .”

InuYasha scowled as she sat down on the edge of the well and flipped her feet over the side. A small voice in the back of his head told him not to leave her alone. He shook his head. After last night, his presence would only make things worse, and he knew it.

He didn't say anything else as they dropped into the well. Both studiously avoided the others' gaze as the time slip opened up around them. The couple of times that he thought he felt her gaze on him, he must have been mistaken because when he looked at her, she was staring up or down, to one side or the other but she never looked directly at him.

By the time his feet hit the cool, packed earth in Sengoku Jidai, the silence was as thick as a fog. When Kagome headed for the ladder instead of letting him carry her out of the well, he winced. Indecision kept him from reaching for her, and by the time he thought to do it, she was already halfway up the ladder.

Stifling a groan as he lit on the ground outside the well only to come face to face with both Sango and Miroku with Marisaiko in his arms, InuYasha schooled his features as the monk divided his quizzical glance between InuYasha and Kagome as the latter nearly tumbled out of the well.

“Kagome, I'm glad you came back,” Sango murmured as a flush brightened her cheeks. “Can we . . . talk?”

Kagome nodded once and hitched the backpack up as she fell into step behind Sango, heading toward Goshinboku.

InuYasha started to follow. Miroku cleared his throat. “Perhaps it'd be best to let them clear the air by themselves,” he suggested. Though he wasn't inclined to agree, InuYasha folded his arms together stubbornly and rotated to face the monk. “They've needed to do this for awhile,” Miroku went on as he sank down in the grass. Marisaiko shrieked happily as the breeze tugged on her bonnet.

InuYasha didn't answer. Turning to glower at the clearing, his ears twitched as he sniffed the air. The women had stopped near Goshinboku, he could tell. He could also tell that Shippou and Ichisaru were heading toward the well, probably in hopes of getting more treats from Kagome.

“I thought maybe you'd come back last night,” Miroku commented. “Sango feels horrible about the things she thought about Kagome. She didn't sleep well last night.”

InuYasha snorted. “And you think Kagome did?”

Miroku shook his head. “I didn't say that.”

“Look, Miroku, I won't let anyone hurt Kagome like that, Sango included.”

Miroku's gaze narrowed as a small smile surfaced on his features. “You love her, don't you?”

InuYasha felt his face heat up as he straightened his back. “Keh!” he scoffed as Miroku chuckled.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“I'm sorry,” Sango said quietly as Kagome wandered around Goshinboku, idly running her fingertips along the bark.

Kagome stopped, glancing at Sango with a sad smile touching her lips. “You don't have to be sorry. You were protecting your daughter. I understand.”

Sango winced and shook her head quickly. “That's just it . . . she's your . . . she's your daughter, too.”

Kagome closed her eyes as her chin dropped. “She's not. She . . . she never really was.” With a sigh, Kagome stared at the memorial garden.

“I knew you'd never try to take her from me,” Sango explained, her voice tinged with sadness. “I knew it, but I . . . I doubted you.” Sinking down next to the newly forming buds, she touched the thick, waxy blades of the lilies with a tender finger. “That woman . . . she knew that Mari wasn't mine. She said she had the gift of sight, and she knew that Mari's mother . . . you . . . are a miko.” Drawing a deep, ragged breath, Sango shrugged and let her hand fall away from the plants. “She said that it wouldn't matter, that we were friends . . . that you would seek to reclaim her.”

Kagome dropped to her knees beside Sango, hesitantly slipped an arm around her shoulders. “Sango . . . you know I wouldn't do that . . . I didn't have her for me. I had her for you, and for Miroku.”

Sango wiped at the tears that slid down her cheeks. “You've been so kind to us, and I—”

“I haven't,” Kagome admitted quietly. “I was so angry, at first . . . I didn't want to give her up, and I . . . I was ashamed. I thought I didn't have the right to feel that way because I chose it, but . . . but I'm not a saint, and I'm not special. I'm not even particularly kind all the time. I just wanted you and Miroku to be happy, and after seeing how happy Marisaiko makes you, and how happy you both make her . . . I know in my heart I did the right thing, even if it does still hurt sometimes.”

Sango sniffled and nodded. “I was so jealous of you when you were pregnant. I wanted so badly, to be the one to give birth to Miroku's child, and I felt like I was dishonoring you, what you were trying to do for us. Sometimes, when I looked at you when you were pregnant . . . when I saw how gentle InuYasha was with you . . . I thought that was how it should have been, for Miroku and me.”

Kagome offered her a thin laugh. “Sad, aren't we? Each of us was jealous of things that the other had, and neither of us were willing to say.” Kagome leaned forward, hands on her knees as she stared at her friend. “I promise, Sango . . . I don't want to take your daughter from you. I just want to be a part of her life, whatever part you'll let me have.”

Sango smiled, weak and watery and altogether brilliant, despite that. “Miroku and I have always wanted you to be a part of her life, Kagome, and a part of ours, too.”

Kagome sighed. “This is nice. It seems like forever, since we've had a long talk.”

Sango nodded her agreement as a slight shadow fell over her expression.

“What is it?”

“That woman . . . every time I think about her, I swear I've seen her somewhere before, but I can't remember where.”

Kagome considered that for a moment then shrugged. “It'll come back to you, right? Things do that to me, when I stop thinking about it.”

Sango didn't look convinced. Finally she shrugged. “You're probably right. I'm just thinking about it too hard.” Tugging idly at a weed, Sango tossed it away and glanced at Kagome again. “Strange, though. You and InuYasha didn't hear anything about the youkai that attacked her and her escorts?”

Kagome shook her head. “Nope, not a thing.”

Shaking herself, Sango stood up and brushed off her skirt as Kagome got up, too. “Maybe the youkai moved on,” Sango surmised as they headed back toward the meadow and the well.

“Sure, they could have,” Kagome agreed as they stepped out of the trees.

“Kagome!” Shippou hollered as he tore toward her with Ichisaru close on his heels. “Did you bring me pocky?”

Kagome giggled and shrugged off her backpack to dig out two boxes of strawberry pocky for Shippou and two boxes of banana pocky for Ichisaru. Squealing happily, the youngsters ran off with their bounty as Sango and Kagome watched their retreat.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _Why is she allowing me this happiness?_ '

Staring across the garden as Rin wandered through the foliage of spring flowers and sakura trees, Kagura sighed.

She watched the sun rise every morning through the expansive windows of the master chamber. The sky would darken to black just before the sun peeked over the horizon. The reds and purples gave way to golden yellows and pinks as the orb slowly rose. Sesshoumaru would give her that tiny smile as his gaze glowed with the intensity of the new morning.

He accompanied her wherever she wanted to go, always saying that it pleased him to do so, and this, she knew to be true. He gave up his fangs so that old Master Totosai to create new wind fans for her. True they grew back in a day. Still it had been a sacrifice for the proud Sesshoumaru, a concession he made for her. He sat with her in silence for hours, waiting for the sunset, and for every moment that she allowed herself to feel such happiness, she knew deep down that it was to be too short-lived.

` _I will fight her! She cannot win! I won't allow her to destroy him!_ '

Lifting her chin defiantly, Kagura strengthened her resolve. She didn't know how she could do it, but she had to try.

If she knew how Hisadaicho had forced her will upon this body, perhaps she could break it. How to do that when the body would not do anything to go against Hisadaicho's wishes? There were moments when she couldn't even say the things that were truly on her mind. Telling Sesshoumaru wouldn't work. She'd already tried.

` _It doesn't matter . . ._ _I'll find a way_.'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“So you're saying there's nothing we can do about the toxin,” InuYasha asked to clarify. He and Kagome were sitting in Kaede's hut, just the three of them. When InuYasha told Kaede that he needed to talk to her, Kaede had sent the children to gather herbs in the forest while Miroku and Sango readied themselves for a sojourn to the youkai exterminators' village. Sango wanted to introduce Marisaiko to her family's grave sites, and though she'd asked Kagome to come along, Kagome had declined.

Kaede nodded slowly. “Aye, InuYasha. I've told ye all I know on the matter.”

Kagome stared into the low flames in the fire pit. “Old Seer said that Hisadaicho used to be a human girl, her apprentice. Is there any chance she could be reminded about her past?”

“If ye are asking if there is a way to bring back the girl she was, I doubt it. Ye saw for yourselves. Naraku did the same, did he not?”

Kagome sighed, shoulders slouching in defeat. “I just thought, maybe, if there was still some good in her heart . . .”

“If this girl of whom ye speak had a pure heart, she would have had to be twisted and tainted to become what she is now. The innocence of the girl she was must be long gone.”

“Old Seer said something about a man, that Hisadaicho left her to go to him. If this man did something to her . . . brainwashed her into wanting to do this, that means . . .” Kagome added.

InuYasha seemed to catch onto what Kagome had been mulling over. “So if we find this sick bastard we might be able to stop her, after all.” He stood up suddenly and stalked toward the door. “What are you waiting for, wench? Come on.”

Kagome rolled her eyes but got up to follow him. “Thanks, Kaede,” she called over her shoulder as she let the bamboo mat fall back into place behind her. “InuYasha, it's almost night . . . shouldn't we wait till morning? Do you have any idea where we're even going?”

“I'll figure it out,” he assured her, his voice rife with confidence as he headed toward the forest path.

“Oh, you will, will you?”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! Of course I will!” He stopped suddenly and shot her a quick look. She frowned at the hint of doubt in his gaze. “Kagome . . . do you . . . do you _want_ to come with me? I could . . . I could leave you in your time, if you don't . . .”

She winced. Though she had tried hard to hide her embarrassment and to act like she hadn't seen a thing, it was blatantly obvious to her that he knew better, and she felt her cheeks pinking. If it were up to her, she'd run and hide as memories of what he'd been doing crossed her mind. The tinge of fear in the depths of his eyes that she knew he was trying to hide made her stay where she was. “I thought you said I can't be out of your sight,” she countered lightly.

A few seconds passed, and he finally nodded, the fear dissipating as a flicker of warmth replaced it. “That's right, I did, didn't I? Pathetic human.”

She smiled. “This pathetic human should stop in at home before we go. I need to grab a few more things, if we're going to be gone a while.”

He looked like he was ready to argue. Kagome cut him off. “You're also nearly out of ramen. I forgot to grab more this morning.”

His ears twitched. “I suppose it wouldn't hurt to go back,” he allowed grudgingly.

Kagome giggled as he pulled her onto his back and sprinted toward the well.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Sueric:**  
>  Happy fucking birthday to ME ::grumbling::


	57. Urges

 

~~ ** _Chapter 57_** ~~  
~ ** _Urges_** ~

 

InuYasha leaned back and yawned as he stretched his arms out and arched backward.

Kagome squinted at her magazine and turned to catch more firelight on the page.

 

:

 

  
_Dear Miss Love_ ,

_I am seeing this guy who is sort of hard to interpret, and I need help! There are times when I think that he_ _loves me_ _but at other times he doesn't seem as interested. I tried once to ask him about this, but he gets defensive and won't talk about it. Is there a way to figure out what he really wants_?

_Signed_ ,   
 _Confused_.

 

:

 

Kagome reread the question before peeking over the page at the hanyou who was staring at the fire with a marked frown on his face and his arms wrapped around Tetsusaiga. ` _That sounds like someone I know_ ,' she thought with an inward sigh. ` _It's a little different though . . . to him,_ _he's been rejected so often, it's kind of amazing that he shows that he cares, at all_. . .' She sighed and hid her face behind the magazine again.

With a sigh, InuYasha rolled to his feet and sat down beside her as he dug the talisman out of his shirt and dangled it over the top of the magazine. Kagome stared at it for a moment then shook it, letting the publication fall onto the bedroll as she silently watched him shake it, too.

When he got up to move away again, Kagome caught his hand and tugged till he sat back down again.

“You forgot something.”

InuYasha shot her a quizzical glance. “I did?”

She nodded as a little smile surfaced.

“What?”

“Don't you remember what today is? I remind you every year.”

He looked confused and slowly shook his head.

She sighed. “It's my birthday.”

His ears flattened, likely thinking that she was about to yell at him for not remembering. “I, uh . . . forgot . . . happy birthday.”

Kagome shook her head. “It's all right. You never remember. Anyway, you realize I've known you for exactly five years now.”

He wrinkled his nose as he tried for a nonchalant shrug. “Bet you wish you didn't fall through that well.”

“Why would I?”

“Your life would have been simpler. You wouldn't have to put up with me.”

She grinned. “And who says I mind putting up with you?”

“You don't?”

“Nope.”

He sighed and grimaced as he shot her a sidelong glance. “I don't have anything to give you.”

“I've never wanted anything,” she replied, “but if you really _wanted_ to give me something . . .”

InuYasha seemed nervous, hesitant. Finally he asked, “What?”

She smiled. “A kiss.”

“That's all?”

“Sure.”

“What's the catch?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Why does there have to be a catch?”

“Dunno. Is there one?”

“Do you want there to be one?”

“Keh! That's a stupid question.”

“You brought it up, dog-boy.”

He finally grinned, just a little. “Okay, so you want a kiss—just a kiss—no catches, right?”

She considered that then nodded. “Sounds right.”

He pondered it slowly, as though he were trying to decide if there really was some sort of hidden catch that she wasn't telling him. With a small shrug, he leaned closer, kissed her cheek before he quickly sat up, blushing as he stared into the fire.

She stifled a sigh. ` _Well, that wasn't what I had in mind_ ,' she thought. “ _That_ was my birthday kiss?” she complained. “I got better kisses out of you for no reason at all, InuYasha.”

InuYasha snorted. “You said a kiss. I gave you a kiss. What did you think you were going to get?”

Kagome rolled her eyes. “You're such a baka,” she informed him. “I've gotten better kisses out of my grandpa!”

“Oi!” he growled as she shot to her feet to stow the magazine back in her bag. “What's that supposed to mean?”

She dug out her pajamas and shot him another dark look before she headed off toward the cover of the forest to change.

InuYasha hopped up and ran after her. “You can't just leave, wench!” he bellowed. “You're not supposed to be out of my sight!”

“I'm here, InuYasha, and I'm not changing by the fire,” she countered.

He made a face. “Well, keep talking then.”

She sighed. “All right . . . what do you want to talk about?”

“Don't care . . . just talk.”

“Well, it's kind of hard to talk without a topic,” she remarked.

“Just keep talking.”

“Oh, no,” she mumbled, her voice slightly muffled. “Nuts.”

“What?”

Kagome poked her head out from behind a stout tree trunk. “Nothing,” she grumbled as she disappeared again.

“Nothing?” he echoed. “Why are you so irritated if it's nothing?”

With a loud sigh she stepped out of the forest with her pajama shorts on but still wearing the same blouse she'd worn all day. InuYasha blinked in surprise. “Oi, you forgot your shirt.”

She narrowed her eyes at him as she swept past on her way to stow her clothing again. “I didn't forget,” she tossed over her shoulder as he fell in step behind her. “The zipper's stuck.”

“What do you mean, it's stuck?”

“I mean, it's stuck. I can't unzip it. Can you try?”

His eyes rounded as he stared at her. “No!” he hollered. “It's on your chest!”

Kagome glanced down at the zipper in question and snorted. “Yeah, it is. It's also stuck. I can't get it to budge.” She shook her head and curled up on her bedroll with a heavy sigh. “Never mind, InuYasha. Just let me know when I start stinking since I can't get out of this shirt to change.”

She didn't see the pained expression on his face, didn't notice the way his ears drooped as he gazed down at her. He stood for long moments, eyebrows drawn together as he stifled a sigh.

She was almost asleep when she felt the blanket being pulled up over her, tucked under her chin. “InuYasha,” she breathed softly as her mind drifted away in slumber.

Next to her, InuYasha smiled.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

The children ran around Kaede with mirthful laughter as the old miko trudged along with them. “Stray not too far, little ones!” she called as they ran off.

The tall man stepped out of the forest ahead. Kaede frowned. His sallow skin seemed untouched by the sun, his scraggly hair hung in oily strands around his face. He strode toward her as Kaede discerned an unsettling quality in his aura. ` _He should not be here_ _. . ._ _What is he?_ '

“I seek the hanyou InuYasha.”

Kaede didn't answer right away. “Children, leave this old miko,” she encouraged with a smile. The children darted off to play before Kaede faced the man again. “Why do ye seek him?”

The man shrugged. “I have business with him. It doesn't concern you.”

Kaede turned back toward the village. “He is not here,” she answered simply enough.

“Where is he?”

“I know not.”

The man's murky eyes narrowed. “You lie, old woman.”

Kaede didn't deny it. “Ye . . . ye are not of this world,” she countered. “Why do ye seek to remain?”

The man didn't answer. Kaede glanced over her shoulder and watched as he disappeared back into the forest.

` _An undead samurai . . . why does he wander the plane of the living, and what does he want with InuYasha?_ '

She shook her head as her frown deepened. It was more than that. The man's soul . . . it was tainted, vile, dark . . . as though the light side of it was missing—as though he were no more than a shell of his former self . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome jerked on the zipper with a frustrated growl. Her fingertips ached from the force she applied to the zipper pull as she tried to yank it open. With a dejected sigh, her hand dropped as she gazed longingly at the steam rising from the hot spring as dawn started to break over the horizon.

InuYasha was still sleeping—she hoped—back at the campsite. Glancing over her shoulder, she could see the glow of the fire filtering through the trees. She wasn't that far away, and she did really need a bath—if she could get the stupid shirt off, that was.

She'd worn the shirt for almost three days now. It was disgusting, foul, nasty, and she just wanted a bath. InuYasha was being more stubborn about it than she could fathom, absolutely adamantly refusing to help her get the stupid zipper unstuck.

With a half moan, Kagome dug into her backpack for the first aid kit. ` _There's got to be something in here that'll help_ ,' she thought as the first signs of desperation started to show. Her search stopped when she pulled out a tiny jar of petroleum jelly. Making a face as she dug her finger into the jar, she smeared the lubricant all over the zipper as well as onto the edge of the fabric, just to be safe. After cleaning off her hands on an alcohol towelette, she grasped the zipper and tugged.

Her fingers slid right off the pull, and she stifled a sigh. Wrapping the towelette around the zipper pull, she tried again. After five minutes of that, she dropped the towelette with a disgusted sigh and glared at the offending blouse. ` _Funny. It looked harmless enough in the store . . . there should have been a warning label on it: `Caution, cannot be removed, ever'_.'

` _Maybe I just don't have enough leverage_ ,' she pondered as she pulled a pair of tweezers out of the kit. Staring at them with a thoughtful frown, she squeezed them together and stuck them through the hole on the pull. Wrapping her fingers around the tweezers, she took a deep breath and jerked.

And the zipper didn't budge.

She was very close to crying. The glinting lights of the rising morning danced off the spring, all in an effort to taunt her, she was sure. “ _I_ _—_ _want_ _—_ _that_ _—_ _-bath!_ ” Kagome grunted as she tugged and yanked on the stubborn fastener. Almost convinced that InuYasha had somehow managed to solder the zipper closed when she was asleep, Kagome wrenched the tweezers out and heaved them as hard as she could.

` _Fine_ ,' she thought as she stood up and brushed off her knees. ` _If the shirt won't come off, I'll just leave it on, but I'm getting that bath_ . . .'

Struggling out of her bra before gathering her soaps and shampoo, Kagome peeked back over her shoulder. The forest was still silent, no hollers or shouts to indicate that InuYasha knew she was missing yet, but if she didn't hurry . . .

With that thought, she wiggled off her skirt and panties before wading into the spring and dunking herself in the warm water.

` _Ugh, I feel weird_ ,' she thought as she wrinkled her nose and tried to pull the clinging fabric away from her body. With a sigh, she tried to ignore the intrusive feel as she surfaced to lather her hair. When she stood up in the waist deep water, the brisk morning air hit the material and sent a shiver through her. Cold and clammy and not at all pleasant, she fumed the entire time. ` _InuYasha could have helped me . . . if he were stuck in his stupid clothes, I'd help him, even if I was uncomfortable about it . . . baka_.'

It occurred to her, the trouble she'd have after her bath when she was stuck in a wet blouse that kami had seen fit to make her wear for the rest of her life. If she put something on over it, it'd be drenched, too. If she didn't, then InuYasha would definitely know where she'd been. The original intent had been to sneak away, have her bath, and leave him none the wiser. That was just not meant to be. She sighed again.

Kagome dunked herself to rinse her hair and came up sputtering. Leaning her head back to let her hair drain, she rubbed the water from her eyes just as another sound made her gasp.

Eyes flying open in instant alarm, she saw him. He stood on the shore with a dark scowl, arms crossed over his chest. She swallowed hard and opened her mouth to speak. His low growl silenced her.

` _Run, Kagome . . . he's really mad_ ,' the voice in her head told her.

She couldn't move, or maybe she just didn't want to. His gaze never left hers as he strode into the water, directly at her. When he reached her, he drew himself up taller, glared down at her. “Just what the hell do you think you're doing?” he growled, his voice rough yet quiet.

Kagome blinked but couldn't look away. “I . . . was filthy,” she murmured as a faint pink tinge crept up her skin.

He seemed to accept her answer, at least for the moment, and he nodded slowly. “And how do I know you're my wench?' he demanded.

Kagome frowned. “Your . . . yours?”

If he noticed the breathy quality of her tone, he didn't comment. “You _look_ like my wench. You _smell_ like my wench. How do I _know_ you're my wench?”

` _He's . . . too close_ . . .' Kagome thought weakly. Her reason was fast fleeing her. She grasped onto the last bit of sanity she had as she pulled the shirt away from her skin. “You . . . you could have helped me with this stupid zipper, baka. If you had, I wouldn't have sneaked away this morning.”

The glint on the water reflected back in his eyes, and Kagome forced herself to look away. “You _sound_ like my wench,” he commented.

“S-st-stop that,” Kagome whispered.

“Stop what?”

She swallowed hard. “You know what.”

InuYasha shrugged. “I told you not to leave my sight, Kagome. If I can't tell you from that bitch, how am I supposed to protect you?”

Kagome stepped back, trying to put some space between them. “I didn't go that far,” she protected. “I just wanted a bath.”

“Far enough,” he argued. “How are you supposed to take a bath in that, anyway?”

That earned him a narrowed-eyed look. “I told you, if you had helped me, I wouldn't have this problem.”

He snorted. “Keh. Then you'd be naked,” he pointed out.

She winced at the blatant reminder of her lack of clothing and his proximity. “Well, you found me,” she hedged. “Can I finish my bath now?”

His gaze gained intensity, seared through her with no finesse at all. He stared at her breasts, and when Kagome glanced down, she gasped. The white cotton blouse was plastered to her body, molded to her like a second skin. InuYasha's eyes widened, his gaze taking on a strange glow that made Kagome's belly turn over in a very nice way. A sudden look of confusion flashed over his features, and he shook his head as he stepped back. “Move it, wench. We might as well get an early start since you're already awake.”

She shook her head. “You're here. You might as well help me out of this. I can't get the zipper open.”

He snorted but didn't look back at her. “Then cut it off.”

“What?”

“Cut it off.”

“My mother bought me this blouse, you know! I can't just cut it off!”

“Then leave it on,” he grumbled.

Kagome scowled at his back. “I realize you wear the same clothes every day, but I'm not as lucky as you! My clothes don't clean or repair themselves, and I can't get the zipper down!”

“Come on, already. You've had more than enough time to finish your bath.”

“Why are you acting so weird?”

“I ain't acting weird,” he argued.

“You want to bet?” she countered. “You've acted strange, ever since the night you—” She made a face as she cut herself off, wincing inwardly at the not-so-gentle reminder of what she'd seen.

His back stiffened, and he stopped moving. Kagome bit her bottom lip as she waited for the tirade she knew was coming. Finally, he sighed, shoulders slumping as his ears flattened though he still refused to face her. “So . . . you did know . . .”

She didn't answer. His tone had caught her off-guard. She'd expected him to scream, yell at her. Instead he had uttered that quietly, sadly.

“I, uh . . . sorry.”

“For what?”

His chin lifted slightly as his ears perked up, just a little. “For what I . . . for that . . .” Suddenly spinning around to stare at her, his expression wary, scared, he scowled and made a self-disgusted face, and he looked as though he was struggling to find the right words. “Kagome . . . did I . . . did I do . . . _anything_ . . . to you?”

Fighting back her rising blush as she tried not to think too hard about the topic under discussion, Kagome raised her arms to cover her chest as she waded closer to InuYasha. “No . . .” she assured him. “You didn't . . . I went downstairs to get a snack, and . . . and then I lay down on the sofa.”

He knew she left part of it out. It was in his gaze. Still she had a feeling that he also knew that she was trying to offer him a scrap of his pride, and he finally managed a tiny grin as his eyes finally locked with hers. “You're . . . you're the right wench.”

She smiled, too.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha tried not to grin as Kagome heaved a frustrated sigh and jerked on the zipper again. She really was good and stuck, and there wasn't much anyone could do about it. He'd yanked on that damn thing for nearly twenty minutes, and it hadn't budged. When he had suggested cutting it off again, she'd adamantly insisted that she wasn't going to do it. He'd lent her his haori till the shirt dried since the fire rat cloth was actually quite light.

“Want to borrow Tetsusaiga?” he asked in a carefully neutral tone.

“No, thank you,” she mumbled as she pulled so hard she grimaced.

“Got claws, too, if Tetsusaiga is too much sword for you,” he goaded.

“Baka,” she muttered under her breath. “I'll get it. I think it moved.”

InuYasha rolled his eyes and did smile this time. “You might as well give up, wench. If _I_ couldn't get it, then what makes you think _you_ can?”

“Some of the material got caught,” she told him. “If I could get that out of there, I could unzip it.”

He made a face. “Good, wench. Hold your breath. That'll make it work.”

Letting out her breath in a whoosh, Kagome looked up long enough to glare at InuYasha, who wisely hid his amusement. “You're such a jerk sometimes, do you know?”

He could discern the teasing note in her voice and grinned. “Well, this jerk is getting sleepy, wench. Come here and shake this, will you?” he asked as he dangled the vial from his fingertips.

She heaved a sigh and got up, slowly wandering over to him to shake the talisman. “There . . . will you try, just once more?” she asked as she watched him shake, too.

InuYasha shrugged. “Keh! It won't do any good.”

She rolled her hand impatiently. “Yeah, yeah. Just pull, okay?”

“You can't talk to me like that,” he remarked as he grasped the zipper pull and tugged. It didn't budge.

She sank down, hands resting on her knees, absolute trust, absolute belief shining in her gaze. It might only be a stupid stuck zipper, but in her mind, he could fix it. That, alone, kept him from tearing the damn bit of cotton from top to bottom. Lifting her chin so he could get a better grip on the zipper, she smiled and reached out to flick one of his ears. “Why not?” she asked quietly.

“Oi! Stop that!” he told her.

“Why can't I talk to you like that?” she countered as she flicked again.

He bent his ear away from her, ducking his head to the side as he yanked harder on the unmoving zipper pull. “Because, wench, you just _can't_.”

She considered that then shook her head as she flicked once more. “Nope, not good enough, InuYasha.”

He shot her a sidelong glance meant to quell her desire to bedevil his ears. She grinned. “Keh! It is good enough! Everyone knows that the lesser mate has to submit to the dominant one.”

“Oh yeah? And what `dominant mate' are you talking about?”

“Me, wench, unless you wanna start doing the hunting and the protecting?”

Her lungs whistled as she sucked in a sharp breath. Her body stilled completely as InuYasha slowly realized just what he'd said. Jerking his hands back, he turned away as he crossed his arms over his chest and tried not to blush.

“Is that . . . is that what you want, InuYasha?”

He snorted as he felt the blush rising in his skin. “Keh.”

She grabbed the hair hanging by his face and tugged gently, enough to force him to look at her. “Do you? Do you want that?”

He wrinkled his nose and tried to pull away. “Thought about it,” he allowed grudgingly.

“Just . . . thought about it?”

“Maybe . . . once . . . or twice . . .”

A slow smile spread over her face, lighting her eyes with a luminosity that amazed him. “I've thought about that, myself . . . once or twice,” she ventured quietly.

“Have you?” he asked, hoping that he didn't sound nearly as hopeful as he thought he did.

“Yeah,” she answered.

When she didn't offer any more than that, he stifled a growl. “And?”

Her smile widened. “And . . . I think I'd like it, too.”

“You . . . you would?”

“If you would.”

“I think I could _tolerate_ you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, good. Nothing like knowing I'm tolerated,” she retorted.

He suddenly turned serious as he stared at her. “Kagome, if I . . . if you . . . if _we_ did that . . . it means forever.”

“So we'd be together forever?”

InuYasha made a face. “Something like that.”

“I'd like that.”

He shook his head. “You've got to be sure.”

She smiled again as she let go of his hair to touch his cheek. “I've been sure, InuYasha. I've been sure for a very long time.”

He still looked dubious at best even though he seemed cautiously pleased. A slight shadow fell over his expression, and his eyebrows drew together as he tilted his head to the side, measuring whatever it was he wanted to say. “Uh . . . Kagome?”

She leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “Hmm?”

He grimaced. “I don't want you to think . . . it ain't to break the toxin . . .”

She grinned. “I didn't think it would be.”

The way she stared at him made him swallow hard. Gazing at him, staring at his mouth, she was mesmerized by the very breath he drew. Her hand lifted, her fingers tracing over his lips, and for a moment he had to wonder if she knew she was touching him, at all. “InuYasha . . .”

Clearing his throat nervously, he tried to redirect his mind away from Kagome, away from her touch, away from the intoxicating shift in her scent. Delicious and heady, she beckoned to him, her aura gliding over his youki with a gentle whisper, a silent caress. Forcing his gaze away, he glanced meaningfully up at the sky and heaved a frustrated sigh. “Go to bed, wench. We'll figure out how to get that damned zipper open tomorrow.”

She followed the direction of his gaze and sighed, too. ` _The full moon_ . . .' Still, she was too happy to let that daunt her. “InuYasha, will you sit with me? Until I go to sleep?”

He thought it over and shrugged before standing up and holding his hand out to help her. She ran over and lay down as InuYasha sat beside her. The low rumble seemed to wrap around her as he stroked her hair. The combination of his touch and the sound lulled her, and she smiled vaguely when she felt his lips touch her forehead as she drifted off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  …Damned zipper …


	58. Quarry

 

~~ ** _Chapter 58_** ~~  
~ ** _Quarry_** ~

 

Sesshoumaru frowned as he watched as Kagura wandered through the garden.

` _What is this sadness I sense in her?_ '

Gaze narrowing, he tilted his head to the side and silently watched as she knelt to touch a flower. The delicate movement of her fingers beckoned him. She turned her head, staring at the horizon as though she were waiting for something. If he only knew what it was . . . ?

“Kagura-sama!” Rin called as she ran over to talk to Kagura. Sesshoumaru's eyes lit in amusement as Kagura turned a patient smile on the girl. Rin knelt down beside the wind sorceress, describing something in vivid animation, arms gesturing as she likely told Kagura of her latest antics.

Still he could not forget the unfathomable sadness in her gaze as she stared, morning after morning, at the rising sun. She didn't always realize he was awake, and in those moments, he could almost feel the sorrow that she tried to hide. Something troubled her, and though he'd asked more than once, she always smiled and said that she was fine.

“What are you hiding, Kagura?” he mused as he stared at her, “and why would you hide it from me?”

Almost as though there were things that she wanted to say to him, things that she couldn't bring herself to lend voice to . . . the feeling that there was something she feared to tell him tore at him.

The Kagura he knew was fearless, undaunted. What could make her behave so differently?

He shifted his gaze out over the landscape with a sigh. ` _Kagura . . . you will tell me_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“InuYasha, do you think this guy's human or youkai?”

InuYasha glanced over his shoulder and shrugged. “Keh! Youkai, of course. Why would a human do this to her?”

Kagome shook her head slowly. “That's probably true, but it seems a little weird, don't you think? I mean, it doesn't really make sense, any way you look at it . . .”

InuYasha shrugged. “It don't matter. Human or youkai, I'll still kill him. Maybe he's the butterfly youkai that has her under his power . . .”

Kagome made a face. “Yeah, but she's hanyou, right? So if that's the case, then wouldn't it be more like what happened with Onigumo? Obviously it was something she chose, right?”

InuYasha rolled his eyes as he pushed off the ground to sail above the trees. “I told you, wench. There ain't no one who chooses to be hanyou.”

“Oh? And what would you rather be?”

“Keh! I dunno . . . there ain't nothing wrong with being hanyou . . . just not something I'd _choose_.”

“I like you as a hanyou . . . the others do, too.”

InuYasha winced at the sadness in her tone. “Dunno why.”

Kagome sighed then giggled. “I think it's your ears,” she teased.

“Oi! Wench!” he reprimanded as she flicked the fuzzy appendage. “I told you, don't do that!”

“Then don't put yourself down,” she countered though she did stop tickling his ear.

He turned to look over his shoulder at her. She was inches away from his face, capturing his gaze with the mysterious light in her eyes. Slowly, she leaned toward him, brushing her lips over his. “I love the way you are,” she whispered before she pressed another kiss to his lips, “and it hurts me when you say those things.”

“Kagome . . .”

She silenced his argument as she reached out, stroked his cheek with her fingertips as her kisses rained down on him. Gentle, soft, completely reassuring and wholly unsettling just the same. His arms tightened around her legs, and he felt as though time had stopped.

She sighed softly as he took control of the kiss, deepening it, hesitating as he nibbled her lips, as he grazed his fangs across them. She shivered and leaned closer, her scent shifting so delicately that it blended together with the smells of the forest. She became his emotion, the palpitation of her heartbeat became his. Her will engulfed his as everything about her merged with him.

It could have been moments or hours, a whisper of breath, a moment in time where nothing really mattered but the feel, the smell, the taste of her, the knowledge that she loved him. If he never understood what he'd done to deserve her, did it matter? In the end, his heart made it's choice, and so had hers. Words had always gotten in the way before. The things he wanted to tell her were things that he freely showed her now. Allowing her to see all of him, his heart, his soul in those minutes, he knew she understood when she suddenly broke away, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

“I love being with you,” she murmured as she settled her cheek against his shoulder, squeezed his arm gently as her smile trembled on her lips.

Blinking quickly as a prickling sensation erupted behind his nose, his eyes, InuYasha faced forward again and cleared his throat before he could speak, wishing that he could put things into words, the things that he always felt unable to say. He shook his head in self-disgust, willed his thoughts back to the topic they'd been discussing. “Anyway, it doesn't really matter how Hisadaicho became what she is. The point of it is that I'll end it, once and for all.”

She giggled again, this time at the determination in his voice. “You know---”

InuYasha stopped short and frowned as he glanced around at the forest. “Miroku?”

“Miroku?” Kagome echoed, following the direction of InuYasha's gaze.

A loud roar followed by a loud holler announced the arrival of the monk as Kirara ran out of the trees. “InuYasha!”

InuYasha let Kagome off his back and stared at Miroku. “What are you doing here?”

Miroku slid off Kirara's back and bowed, holding his hand perpendicular to his nose. “Sorry for interrupting . . . Kaede sent me.”

“Why?” Kagome asked before InuYasha could even open his mouth. “Is everyone okay? What's wrong?”

Miroku nodded. “There was a strange man who came looking for you. He asked Kaede where you were, but Kaede said he was . . . strange.”

“Strange?”

“How?” InuYasha demanded.

Miroku shrugged. “She said he seemed like he possessed a mere portion of his soul. I didn't see him. I apologize.”

InuYasha started walking, hands shoved up his haori sleeves and a thoughtful frown on his face. “A portion of his soul?” He shook his head. ` _Like . . . Kikyou . . . ?_ '

“I don't understand . . . a part of his soul? How can that be?”

Miroku fell in step beside InuYasha as Kirara transformed into her tiny form and hopped into his arms. “I don't know, either. Kaede asks that you return to the village.”

“Why? If he's lookin' for me, he can fucking find me,” InuYasha growled.

Kagome sighed. “Maybe she knows more now, though.”

InuYasha scowled. “When did this guy show up?”

“The day after you left,” Miroku replied. “Unless you've found a lead?”

Kagome made a face. “Nothing.”

Miroku nodded as InuYasha's expression grew darker. “Don't worry about it, monk. I'll find this guy we're looking for.”

Kagome fell silent as she walked along behind the two. Staring at InuYasha's back, she cleared her throat to gain both InuYasha as well as Miroku's attention. “Do you think maybe this guy is the one we're looking for?”

InuYasha thought it over. “Maybe,” he agreed slowly. “But if he is, then where's the other part of his soul?”

Miroku shook his head. “I'm inclined to think InuYasha might be right. Whoever controls Hisadaicho can't be that weak. He's obviously the one giving her the orders, and according to what Kaede said, she thinks this guy is no more than a servant.”

“Do you think he serves Hisadaicho?”

InuYasha shot a glance over his shoulder. “Probably.”

Miroku nodded his agreement as he looked back at Kagome, too. He frowned suddenly and stopped as he turned around to face her. “Kagome . . . isn't that the same blouse you wore the day you left the village?”

InuYasha snorted. Kagome sighed. “Yes.”

Miroku looked a little more baffled by her resigned tone. “Is something wrong?”

“The zipper's stuck,” she muttered.

“How so?”

InuYasha shot him a `stupid lecher' look. “How do you think? She zipped it up, and it's stuck.”

“You can't get it loose, InuYasha?”

InuYasha cracked his knuckles. “I offered. She didn't want to use Tetsusaiga.”

“My mother would have a fit, you know, after the last time you shredded one of my blouses,” she pointed out.

“Oh?” Miroku echoed, eyebrows rising in avid interest.

Kagome was the first to realize the slip she'd allowed.

Miroku chuckled at the heightened hue of the miko's cheeks. “And here I thought `hanyou-in-hell'-red was reserved for the . . . hanyou.”

“Never fucking mind, lecher,” InuYasha growled. “It was an accident!”

“What was an accident?”

Narrowing his golden gaze on the monk, InuYasha snorted. “Keh! Like I'll answer that!”

“An accident, huh? A `gee-I-fell-down-and-tore-my-blouse' accident or an `oi,-wench,-let's-not-shake-the-vial' accident?”

InuYasha took a swing at Miroku, who scooted sideways to avoid the claws. “Keh! More of an `I'm-gonna-be-a-dead-monk,-better-kiss-my-ass-goodbye' accident,” InuYasha snarled.

“Can we talk about something else?” Kagome asked loudly cheeks flaming in embarrassed color.

Miroku chuckled. “But this topic is so interesting . . .”

“How are Sango and Marisaiko?” Kagome quickly demanded when InuYasha started stalking the monk.

“Good, good . . . fine . . . Sango wanted to come with me, but Kaede needed her help with the sakura festival . . . oh yes, InuYasha . . . would you be willing to---?”

“Keh! Fuck, no,” InuYasha retorted before Miroku could finish his question.

“But the children so enjoyed it last year,” Miroku pointed out.

InuYasha made a face. “Well, gee, lemme think about it . . . uh . . . nope.”

“Be a sport, InuYasha,” Miroku prodded.

“You're so keen on the idea, you do it,” InuYasha growled.

Miroku started to argue but cut himself off with a calculating look at Kagome. “Kagome . . . surely you can see my logic . . .”

Kagome considered Miroku's idea. She opened her mouth to tell InuYasha that she thought maybe he should consider it. He cut her off. “And don't bat your damn eyelashes at me, wench, because it ain't working.”

Kagome made a face then ran around InuYasha, walking backward as she clutched her hands together before her chest and smiled sweetly at the hanyou. “Please, InuYasha? It would mean so much to the children . . . and to me.”

InuYasha twitched his ears, tried to look away, felt his face heat up in a flush as Kagome kept backpedaling and kept smiling. “Wench,” he warned.

“Please? For me?”

He grimaced. “Keh! Fine!” he blustered as he stubbornly forced his gaze to the side.

Miroku hollered with laughter. “Kami, I never thought I'd see that!” he managed between bouts of laughter. “You've been---”

“Don't fucking say it!” InuYasha snarled as his face deepened a few shades.

“---Wenched!”

Kagome squealed as InuYasha shot toward Miroku. Kirara leaped out of the monk's arms and onto Kagome's head as Miroku held his hands up in surrender. That didn't work. InuYasha kept chasing after Miroku. Kagome sighed. “InuYasha!” she called after him. “Stop that!”

“Stay outta this, Kagome,” he growled as Miroku ducked behind a tree.

Kagome pulled Kirara off her head and held onto her. Rolling her eyes, she heaved a sigh and stood patiently as Miroku dug a few Ofudas out of his robes to warn off the hanyou.

“If it makes you feel better, InuYasha, Sango does that to me all the time,” Miroku tried to placate InuYasha.

“Hmm, for some reason, it doesn't, not really,” InuYasha shot back sarcastically as he shredded the paper charms with his claws.

“InuYasha, don't kill him!” Kagome tried again.

“Now, think of my wife and child,” Miroku hurried to say as he ducked InuYasha's lunge. “Sango would be quite upset, if she were to become a widow so young.”

“I ain't gonna kill you,” he snarled, “I'm just gonna hurt him some.”

“Ah, but if you hurt me, then I may not be able to perform my husbandly duties, InuYasha . . . and I'm sure Sango will be even more upset about that . . .”

“So she'd find another lecher . . . she's a fucking lecher magnet, anyway.”

“I'm so hurt, InuYasha.”

“You will be.”

“Are we going back then?” Kagome raised her voice to be heard, letting Kirara down. The fire cat youkai transformed back into her big form and waited for Miroku to climb onto her back.

InuYasha finally stopped chasing Miroku as he shrugged. “I suppose . . . might as well see what the old woman has to say.”

Miroku nodded and bowed to InuYasha. “Then I'll just travel back with you two. No sense in hurrying home when you're coming, too.”

He missed the obvious irritation that crossed InuYasha's features. He also missed the sad shake of the miko's head as InuYasha grabbed her hand and tugged her onto his back.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“It wouldn't have been so horrible if Ichisaru hadn't come back inside right then,” Miroku remarked as Kagome dropped another log onto the fire.

InuYasha dug his claws into the dirt and shifted a glare at Miroku as his cheeks reddened. “I don't think I want to know all this,” he ground out.

Miroku waved off InuYasha's complaints. “Seriously, InuYasha . . . with you and Kagome away all the time, the children . . . well . . . they're underfoot . . . a lot.”

“Keh! Good!”

Kagome shook her head and sighed loudly as she dug into her backpack for a magazine. “Are you sure Sango won't mind you talking about . . . this?”

Miroku considered her question. “I've not said that much . . . I was just trying to sneak a few kisses . . .”

“And a few gropes,” InuYasha muttered.

“Why don't you two stick closer to home for awhile? Give us more time to come up with a good plan for defeating Hisadaicho?” Miroku suggested.

Kagome didn't miss the irritated flare in InuYasha's eyes as he glared incredulously at the monk. “I think I can figure it out on my own.”

“Of course you could, InuYasha. The point is, you have friends! You don't have to figure it out on your own.”

That earned him a glower as InuYasha shook his head and wrapped his arms around Tetsusaiga. “

“Keh. Whatever.”

“I think I'll go to bed,” Kagome said briskly.

InuYasha got up and strode over to her. “Here,” he said, his tone gruffly gentle for once.

Kagome smiled up at him as she shook the vial. He did the same as he telegraphed her a wistful grimace that, thankfully, the monk missed since InuYasha had his back to him. “Night, InuYasha.” She leaned to the side to grin at Miroku. “Night, Miroku.”

“Good night, Kagome.” Miroku sighed and shook his head slowly as the hanyou returned to his spot and sat down. “You know, you've changed, InuYasha.”

InuYasha wrinkled his nose. “Dunno what you're talking about,” he grumbled as he purposefully avoided Miroku's gaze.

Miroku laughed. “Hide it all you'd like, InuYasha. You know it's true.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  …Fucking monk …


	59. Scrutiny

 

~~ ** _Chapter 59_** ~~  
~ ** _Scrutiny_** ~

 

It seemed to InuYasha that everyone was conspiring against him, including Kagome.

Miroku's constant presence on the two day return trip had been enough distraction, in InuYasha's opinion. Even after they'd reached the village, he hadn't been able to get a moment alone with Kagome. If it wasn't Miroku showing up when he tried to steal a few minutes, it was one of the runt pups, and if it wasn't them, then it was Sango, who wanted Kagome's opinion on the tiny kimono she was sewing for Marisaiko. Then there was the old woman who insisted on having Kagome's input on festival preparations.

All in all, InuYasha was ready to shred every last one of them as his mood grew blacker and blacker.

He scowled as he stared over at the meadow, at the Bone Eater's Well. He'd sought the sanctuary of Goshinboku when Kagome returned to her time in an effort to get that shirt off. He was still of the opinion that she wasn't going to get the zipper undone without cutting off the blouse. Kagome still held out hope that she could unzip it. He snorted. Somehow he didn't figure the wench would put that particular bit of clothing on willingly, ever again.

Kaede had said that she wasn't sure about the stranger who had come looking for him. She said, though, that the man had a strange aura, like he wasn't quite alive. InuYasha wasn't sure what that meant, but he knew it couldn't be a good sign. If the man were connected to that butterfly bitch, he'd find out . . .

What did it mean? Who was the man? Sure, he could be Hisadaicho's lover, the man she'd left Old Seer to be with. But that didn't really make sense, either. If the man didn't have all of his soul, then how could he be the one telling Hisadaicho what to do?

Straightening up as his ears twitched, InuYasha narrowed his gaze as he inspected the surrounding forest. ` _That smell . . . I know that stench_ . . .'

Vaguely familiar, entirely unsettling . . . he shook his head and stared as the man stepped into view. Dressed like a samurai, he lumbered forward, head down, gaze fixed on the ground. Kaede had said that the man had a dead sort of pallor to his skin, vacant eyes. His black hair hung in oily tendrils, and he looked like he could benefit from both a bath as well as from a good meal. The sudden memory of Oro's wasted form flashed through InuYasha's mind, and he shook his head. The man below wasn't Oro, but there was something way too similar about the two men . . .

“I can smell him,” the man muttered as he searched around Goshinkboku. He never looked up. “InuYasha!” he called out. “Come out of hiding!”

InuYasha snorted as he hopped to his feet, as he dragged Tetsusaiga out of the scabbard and dropped from the branches of the tree. “Keh! I don't hide. Who the hell are you?”

A vague light in the man's gaze was the only change in expression. “So you're the half-breed InuYasha.”

“Tell me who the fuck you are,” InuYasha snarled again.

“My mistress calls me Iwazawa,” he mumbled as he stared at InuYasha's throat.

InuYasha frowned as the man stumbled forward. InuYasha brought Tetsusaiga up level with Iwazawa's chest. “You . . . you were born in that cave, weren't you? The same cave as Hisadaicho . . .”

The man shrugged indifferently as he ignored the sword trained on him. He lunged, moving deceptively fast. InuYasha hopped back to avoid the man's grasping hands.

Iwazawa drew his sword and gestured at InuYasha's chest. “Give me your talisman,” he growled.

InuYasha frowned. “My talisman? Never.”

Iwazawa grunted as he shot forward again. InuYasha swung Tetsusaiga. The warrior met the Fang with his own blade. Iwazawa held him off with one hand while the other reached out to swipe for the talisman. InuYasha shoved him away. The man slid across the dry forest floor. “You're strong, half-breed, but you're no match for me.”

“You're dreamin',” InuYasha snarled as he brought down his sword. “ _Kaze no Kizu!_ ”

The Wind Scar flashed out in a violent wave. Iwazawa's eyes widened as he saw the blast coming. He disappeared in a flash of yellow-white light. InuYasha shielded his eyes against the blast. ` _Keh! How did he disappear? He wasn't youkai . . . what the hell is he?_ '

The forest was empty, and InuYasha was alone. Snorting in disgust as he dropped Tetsusaiga into the scabbard, he glared at the place where Iwazawa had stood. ` _Damn it!_ ' Slowly, almost absently, InuYasha dragged the vial out of his undershirt and held it tight. ` _Why the hell did he want this? Unless_ . . .' InuYasha's thought trailed off as understanding dawned on him. Golden eyes darkening to an amber hue, he turned on his heel and stalked toward the well.

` _Unless_ she _wants it broken_.'

It didn't make sense. Why would Hisadaicho want it destroyed? Surely she knew that the benefit of her toxin was still in effect. He still saw her as Kagome. Why else would it matter?

Myouga's cryptic assessment came back to him. ` _Breaking it could have no effect at all, or it could cause whatever it is you're trying to inhibit to become irreversible_.'

So that was her plan . . . to break the vial so that he had no choice but to always see her as Kagome?

InuYasha snorted as he glanced over his shoulder. Satisfied that he sensed nothing out of the ordinary, he dropped into the well.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome stared at her mother with a shocked expression. “I thought you'd be angry at me if I did that,” she admitted at last.

Mrs. Higurashi slid a pair of scissors across the table to her daughter. “I don't really think you have much of a choice, sweetheart, do you? You've worn that blouse over a week, and I daresay that you won't put it on again, even if you do get it off, right?”

Kagome sighed. “Well, not without making sure I was more careful, no,” she agreed. “I'm sorry, Mama.”

Mrs. Higurashi laughed. “Don't be, dear. I'll go draw a nice, hot bath for you, okay?”

“That'd be great . . .”

Mrs. Higurashi squeezed Kagome's shoulder as she hurried out of the kitchen to start that bath. Kagome got up and dragged the scissors off the table before she turned to follow her mother out of the room.

“Oi, wench, what the hell are you doing?” InuYasha grumbled as he jumped back away from the sharp point as she whirled around.

Kagome stifled a scream and shrank back against the table for support as she clutched her chest with her free hand. “InuYasha! Don't do that!”

He wrinkled up his nose into `The Pout' and crossed his arms stubbornly. “Keh! You're the one trying to stab me!”

“I was not! You sneaked up on me!”

“I see your lips flappin', Kagome, but I ain't hearing a sound,” he retorted.

“You're such a baka,” she shot back as she brushed past him and headed for the bathroom.

“You can't call me that,” he pointed out as he fell in step behind her.

“Thought you said you didn't hear a sound.”

He snorted.

“Anyway, I can call you that if you're being one.”

He snorted again.

“Go find something else to do, InuYasha. I'm going to take a bath.”

InuYasha grabbed her hand. “I come all this way to see you, and you're going to go hide in the bathroom?”

She shook her head and hid the smile that welled up in her. “All this way? You came through the well, InuYasha, not from China or something.”

“Five hundred years, wench, five hundred years.”

She glanced at her watch. “Five hundred years, huh? Well then I doubt another hour is going to hurt you.”

“An hour?” he blustered. “What the fuck takes an hour, wench?”

She grinned. “I haven't had a decent bath in a week, InuYasha. These things take time.” She leaned toward him and sniffed before wrinkling her nose. “You could use a bath, yourself, dog-boy,” she pointed out.

His mouth dropped open as he stared at her. “What? I don't need a—Oi! Are you saying I stink?” he bellowed.

Her giggle escalated into a full-blown laugh as she hurried away from him and closed the bathroom door. Seconds later, he heard the distinct sound of the lock clicking into place, and he screwed his face up in the darkest glower he could manage, trying to hide his bruised pride. “See if I ever come to visit you again, Kagome!” he hollered before he grudgingly sniffed. ` _Do I stink?_ ' He grimaced. ` _Keh! Wench! Just you wait, Kagome . . . just you wait_ . . .'

“InuYasha, is something wrong?”

InuYasha shifted his gaze to the side to eye Mrs. Higurashi. “No,” he grumbled.

She didn't look like she believed him. “Are you sure?”

He snorted. “Yes, I'm sure.” With a sigh, his ears drooped a little, and he shrugged. “Do I . . . do I stink?”

Mrs. Higurashi looked confused for a moment as she sniffed in his direction. Shaking her head as her frown deepened, she blinked quickly. “No . . . are you supposed to?”

InuYasha didn't answer as he strode toward the bathroom door. Pounding on it with his fist, he was rewarded when he heard Kagome's soft gasp and the sudden splash of water. “Oi! Your mother said I don't stink!” he informed her—loudly.

“Your lips are flappin' but I can't hear a sound,” Kagome called back.

InuYasha snorted, planting his hands on either side of the door frame. ` _So . . . wench thinks she can beat me, does she? Keh!_ '

And he settled down to wait.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _Kami . . . how long does it take to wash her scrawny body?_ ' he grumbled to himself as he restrained the urge to drum his claws against the doorframe. ` _There ain't that much of her to wash, damn it!_ '

“InuYasha, do you want to wait in the living room?” Mrs. Higurashi asked as she stared at the immobile hanyou.

“Nope,” he answered without taking his eyes off the door.

Mrs. Higurashi nodded slowly. “All right . . . I need to go to the store and run a few errands . . . can you two watch the shrine for me while I'm gone?”

“Keh.”

Taking that as his agreement, Mrs. Higurashi slowly turned to go. “Souta should be home soon,” she informed him, “and if you're hungry, there's ramen in the cupboard.”

InuYasha nodded once as he glowered at the door.

An ungodly racket erupted in the bathroom, and InuYasha made a face, rolling his eyes as the noise registered. ` _She's drying her hair? Oh for the love of kami_ _. . ._ _Wench!_ '

Trouble was, InuYasha had never been the most patient being on earth. Kagome's insistence on trying what little patience he had, though . . . that was uncalled-for. Before he could think out the consequences, he slammed his fist into the door, smacking it wide open. Kagome shrieked and dropped the dryer. It shut itself off when it hit the marble countertop and fell to the floor.

The first thing he noticed was that she was only wearing one of those fluffy pink towels she liked so much. The second thing he noticed was how provocative her mussed hair was. The third thing was the spike in her scent as he deliberately strode toward her.

“See what happens when you take too fucking long?” he growled as he dragged her close. Her response was cut off by his lips on hers, a searing kiss meant to tell her in no uncertain terms just why he'd followed her home.

“Mama,” she murmured between kisses as she gave a token effort to pull away from him.

“Errands,” he growled as he nipped at her lips to shut her up. A violent tremor ran through her as she collapsed against him.

“G-Grandpa . . . ?”

“Who knows?”

“S-Souta?”

“Who cares?”

Her acquiescence came in the form of a half-sigh, half-giggle, and she leaned closer to him, squeezing handfuls of his haori in her fists.

“You . . . we . . . shouldn't . . .” she mumbled as his lips trailed down her jaw, along her throat. Her head fell back despite her protests, and she moaned softly.

“Shut _up_ , wench,” he complained as his fangs grazed over the fluttering pulse in her neck.

“ . . . Okay,” she agreed as her knees buckled. If he hadn't already been supporting her, she would have fallen.

Lingering kisses against her damp skin, the balm of the bathroom air seemed to cloud his mind and drive away his reason, his sanity. Her soft moans, her quiet whimpers, her sighs, her ragged breaths all seemed to flow together, to combine into a river of sensation, a deluge of instinct and reaction. Her hands tangled into his hair, her body wrapped around his as he lifted her, set her on the counter, nudged her knees apart and dragged her flush against him.

One arm snaked around her waist, he used his free hand to support her head, to lift her face as his lips returned to hers. Searching, feeling, discovering her secrets as her body ignited in a fire that spread through her into him, a fracturing consciousness, a combustion of heat and light. Her hands sank into his hair, her aura engulfed his senses as her being surrendered to him. He'd never known her to keep anything from him, and she laid bare her soul to him, her heart, her mind, her body. A combination of desire and yearning thundered through him, goaded him. His youkai fought with his humanity, the need to have her was a frightening thing, the wish to love her tinged with something wholly primitive.

“InuYasha . . . I want . . .”

His growl silenced her, and he reveled in the tremors of her body. Kisses lengthening , deepening, bleeding from one sensation into another, he let his hand drop to her knee, gently trailed his claws up the outside of her thigh as she scooted forward, pressing herself closer, closer. Her scent shifted, ever-changing, invading the very recesses of his mind as the rush of passion goaded him.

She untangled her fingers from his hair to hesitantly push at his haori, his undershirt. Hands kneading flesh, he gasped as she touched him. Hurried yet gentle, trembling and hesitant, she didn't stop as she nudged his clothing aside to stroke his skin, to press her palm over his heart.

Lured by the heat emanating from her, his fingers edged closer to that part of her, the part that breathed fire, that promised him everything he'd ever dreamed of, everything he'd ever wanted. Her body understood, arched toward him. The wetness on his fingers, on her thighs, the scent that permeated his mind . . .

Pulling her lips away from his only to press kisses on his chest, InuYasha was the one to tremble, to shudder under her touch. She traced the vales, the slight hollows of him with her lips, with her teeth, with her tongue. Her mouth was hungry, lavishing him with sultry open-mouthed kisses. Her hand slipped lower, hesitantly brushing over him as he gasped, as he growled, only to return with more pressure when he leaned toward her hand. The fabric that separated them was almost too much to endure. The heat of her palm stung him, and yet he needed so much more.

Shaking fingers rubbed against her, against that part of her that was silently calling out to him. Her body stiffened, quaked, a culmination of liquid ardor and energy that propelled him closer. The absolute sensation, the silken skin, the beauty of her heat, of her very essence, the central ache that tormented him as he touched her, as he urged a gentle finger into her . . . her body cried out for him as an detonation deep inside her wrung the softest cry from her.

A dull slam echoed through the house. In his dazed state, it took a moment for InuYasha's mind to comprehend it.

“Mama? Grandpa? I'm home!”

Kagome gasped as she sat up straight, her face flushed bright pink though whether it was because of what they'd been doing or because of the shock of hearing her brother's voice, InuYasha wasn't sure. He jerked his hand away from her and quickly pulled her towel into place before spinning to face the door, and a very puzzled-looking Souta.

“What are you two doing in here?” he asked slowly, staring from InuYasha to Kagome then back again. Souta's eyes narrowed at the matching red faces, and he shook his head. “Kami, Kagome . . . don't you have a bedroom for that?”

Kagome gasped again as her face deepened in color. “Souta, you little brat! It wasn't like that!” she insisted. “I . . . I . . . I had something in my eye!”

Souta snorted. “And InuYasha needed to take his shirt off to get it, huh? Nice try, sis. You can't lie to save your life, can you?”

She stared in shock as Souta turned and trudged off.

InuYasha didn't even trust himself to speak. On the one hand, he wanted to run after Souta and make him promise not to tell a living soul what he'd almost seen, even if it meant beating the promise out of him. On the other, the acute embarrassment was a difficult thing to swallow, coupled by the fact that his body was not getting the hint that he'd not be getting a chance to pick up where they'd left off . . . ` _Damn it . . . I'm fucking doomed_ . . .'

Without a word, InuYasha straightened his shirts and headed for the door.

“InuYasha? Where are you—-?”

He sighed. “You said I stink, wench, remember?” he reminded her tersely. “Just . . . hurry back, all right?”

Kagome didn't reply as he jerked open the bathroom window and hopped outside. Two words kept racing through his mind as he sprinted for the well house.

` _Cold . . . bath_ _. . ._ '

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome stepped out of the overheated hut with a heavy sigh. To her surprise, InuYasha hadn't been anywhere to be found when she'd returned to Sengoku Jidai a few hours later, and as evening fell and night approached, he still hadn't returned. No one had seen him, either, and that was even stranger.

Peeking up at the rising moon, Kagome shook her head. ` _InuYasha . . . where are you?_ '

Still she could sense him near, and that was even more perplexing.

Turning suddenly as she glanced up at the roof, she didn't miss the flash of silvery hair that ducked behind the edge, out of sight. “Why are you hiding up there?” she asked quietly.

He didn't answer.

Kagome stared at the roof for several moments before nodding in resignation. “Have it your way, InuYasha . . . I'll be inside, when you're ready to shake the vial.”

InuYasha waited until he heard the bamboo mat slip back into place before he scooted forward and peeked over the side of the roof. Ears flattening against his head, he couldn't help the soft whine that escaped as Kagome's scent came to him.

` _Baka! InuYasha no baka_ ,' he hissed at himself as he scowled into the night. ` _Stupid, weak_ _, pathetic_ _. . ._ _H_ _ow could I do such a thing?_ '

And he hadn't been able to face Kagome, afterward . . .

“So there you are . . . we've been looking for you all day.”

InuYasha peeked over the side of the roof again to stare at Miroku. “I ain't coming inside,” he grumbled.

Miroku shrugged as he climbed atop the covered rain barrel and hiked himself up onto the roof. “Want to tell me what's bothering you?”

InuYasha snorted as he wrapped his arms tighter around Tetsusaiga. “Keh. Not particularly.”

“You know . . . Kagome is an interesting woman. You know, she was blushing horribly when Sango asked if you'd gone to her time to get her.”

InuYasha snorted again.

“Did something . . . happen . . . in her time? Something you want to talk about?”

InuYasha made a face. “Thought I said no already.”

Miroku's violet eyes seemed almost black in the moonlight as he leveled a no-nonsense look at the hanyou. “Come on, InuYasha. Give me some credit. I'm not completely stupid. Why don't you just tell me what happened because Kagome's quite upset. I think she believes whatever is bothering you is her fault.”

He winced. “It wasn't her,” he grumbled. “Not really, anyway . . .”

“I can be a fairly decent listener,” Miroku commented when InuYasha trailed off.

InuYasha shook his head slowly. “It's stupid.”

“Stupid, perhaps . . . but if it's bothering you, you should get it out of your system.”

“I . . . it don't matter.”

Miroku nodded slowly, deliberately checking a few shingles to see if they were loose. “InuYasha . . . how . . . close . . . are you and Kagome these days?”

InuYasha shrugged.

“Have you . . . kissed her? Even just a peck on the cheek?”

InuYasha shrugged and snorted.

Miroku nodded again. “Anything more than . . . a peck on the cheek?”

InuYasha shrugged, snorted, and dug his claws into a shingle.

“I see.” Taking his time and measuring his words carefully, Miroku made a mental note that he was going to have to replace the shingle in InuYasha's claws before he went on. “So this . . . more than a peck on the cheek . . . happened at Kagome's home?”

InuYasha shrugged, snorted, and shattered the shingle into a million splinters of wood.

“And that's why you are avoiding everyone now?”

“Keh! No!” InuYasha snarled then snapped his mouth closed as heat stole up his features.

Miroku shook his head in confusion. “Bear with me, InuYasha . . . I really don't know what your trouble is, then . . . did Kagome not care for . . . something?”

He grunted a little and quickly looked away as another shingle bit the dust under his claws.

Eyebrows lifting, Miroku wisely hid his grin. “Did she like it . . . _too_ much?”

Another shingle crumbled.

“InuYasha . . . I have to say that having a woman enjoy your attentions is more than half the battle . . . are you sure you're not just overreacting?”

That earned him a scathing glare as shingle number four was destroyed.

“What stopped you?”

For a moment, Miroku didn't think that InuYasha was going to answer him. Glaring off into the distance, the hanyou drew himself up proudly even as his ears flattened against his head, as an almost imperceptible dropping of his shoulders attested his very real upset. “Souta.”

Miroku winced. “Oh . . . that can't have been good,” he agreed.

InuYasha shook his head but didn't volunteer more information.

“So . . . you came back, right? Where were you?”

“. . . Swimming.”

Understanding dawned on him, and Miroku sighed as he reached over to clap InuYasha's shoulder. “Happens to the best of us, InuYasha. Don't take it so seriously. It proves we're human . . . err, half human.”

InuYasha shook his head again as his face shifted into the look Kagome had long since dubbed `The Pout'.

“That wasn't all of it, was it?” Miroku asked, struggling to keep his tone neutral.

The fifth shingle was rendered useless under the hanyou's destructive claws. Miroku figured he'd better get to the root of InuYasha's problem if he hoped to keep a roof over his family's heads.

“Was it . . . too late . . . for the swim to help?”

InuYasha snorted again as he avoided Miroku's stare.

Miroku winced as he drew his own conclusion. “And that troubles you.”

InuYasha finally met Miroku's eyes, his frown tinged with a hint of guilt. He opened his mouth to say something but couldn't figure out what to say. Snapping his jaw closed with a sigh, InuYasha looked away again.

“Would it matter to you if I told you that I've had to . . . do that . . . myself?” Miroku finally asked, trying to keep his own blush at bay.

Golden eyes flashed to meet his, flaring wide as InuYasha blinked in surprise. Despite the rising color in his cheeks, InuYasha shook his head. “I dishonored her,” he mumbled.

Miroku shrugged. “I doubt that,” he replied lightly. “Not that I'm saying you should tell her, but I'm sure that Kagome wouldn't see it the same way.”

InuYasha didn't look like he agreed. His derisive snort backed that opinion.

“Physical bodies have needs, InuYasha, and as much as you'd like to think that it isn't true, it is. Even yours.”

The expression on InuYasha's face told the story. A lifetime of being called filthy, disgusting, dirty . . . and this on top of it all . . . Miroku sat back and shrugged. “She never has believed any of those things,” he remarked quietly as he scooted toward the edge of the roof again. “You can either learn to accept that or you can't. If you don't, though, it'll make it that much harder on Kagome when you keep pushing her away. Just . . . think about that, InuYasha. You and she both deserve to be happy.” He dropped back down onto the rain barrel then hopped onto the ground. “As for me . . . I'm exhausted . . . and you should get some rest, too. The children are looking forward to the festivities tomorrow.”

InuYasha made a face and hopped down off the roof behind Miroku.

Miroku grinned. “Goshinboku, right?”

InuYasha nodded.

“I'll send Kagome out. You two might as well just move into the tree . . . but if you decide to build her a house up there, I am not helping you build it.”

InuYasha frowned as Miroku headed back inside. ` _Build her a house . . . ? Would she . . . want that?_ ' He shook his head. What if she didn't want to stay here, in the past? Would he really be willing to live in her time? Would they have to choose?

` _One thing at a time, baka. Concentrate. You've got to deal with Hisadaicho first, no matter what, and Kagome . . . ?_ ' He winced. He had a feeling that he couldn't wait for her.

She stepped out of the hut with a soft rustle as the bamboo mat fell back into place behind her. Smiling shyly, she pulled the vial out of his shirt and shook it as Shippou stumbled out of the hut, too. InuYasha cast the kitsune a questioning glance. Kagome made a face. “He wanted to come with us, just for tonight,” she explained as Shippou hopped up onto InuYasha's shoulder.

InuYasha restrained a sigh before taking Kagome's hand and leading her toward the forest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  The next person who interrupts will die…


	60. Romancing the Miko

 

~~ ** _Chapter 60_** ~~  
~ ** _Romancing the Miko_** ~

 

“So he wanted the vial? Did he say why?” Kagome asked as InuYasha sniffed the ground.

He craned his neck up to glance at her. “I told you, he didn't stick around long enough for me to find out. He just demanded the vial.”

“And you're sure he works for Hisadaicho?”

He sat back on his haunches. “Keh! I told you that, too! I recognized his stench. He was born in the same cave that she was.”

Kagome shook her head. “Why would Hisadaicho want the vial?”

Resuming his sniffing, InuYasha shrugged. “Ain't that obvious? She wants to destroy it. If she did that, then I'd always see her as you, wouldn't I?” He stood up and grabbed her hand to drag her onto his back. “Found it! Come on!”

She relaxed against his shoulder as he broke into a sprint, following the scent that lingered. “Kaede told me to tell you thanks, for humoring the children.”

InuYasha wrinkled his nose. “Keh.”

“They loved it, you know,” she giggled, remembering his tolerant look as he had taken all the village children, one at a time, for a quick sprint through the forest.

“Remind me next year that I ain't doing it again,” he said.

“All right,” she agreed as she stared at the forest flying past. “InuYasha?”

“What?”

She sighed as she snuggled closer. “I'm glad we're alone again.”

He almost tripped as he missed a step. “You are?”

She nodded. “Yeah . . . it's nice, just being with you.”

He felt his cheeks heating from her praise. “You're the one who let the brat sleep in the tree with us,” he grumbled.

She turned her face as she giggled, her breath tickling his neck as it rubbed against him. “He misses us. You can't really blame him. You're like his older, meaner, grouchy big brother.”

He snorted. “Was that supposed to be flattering?”

She slipped her arms around his neck and wiggled higher on his back so she could lean forward to kiss his cheek.

“Keep squirming, wench, and I'll drop you.”

She kissed him again as she caught one of his ears and tweaked it back and forth with her index finger. “Come on, InuYasha . . . no one else is around here . . . it's just us . . . what does it matter if I kiss your cheek?”

He flattened his ears to keep them away from her predatory fingertips. “Keh! We got a long way to go, Kagome. Now stop or I'll dump you.”

“You would not,” she scoffed as she smacked another loud kiss on his cheek.

“What's gotten into you?” he demanded as his cheeks reddened.

“I don't know . . . it's just a beautiful day . . . we're finally alone again . . . not that I mind everyone, of course. I just miss traveling with you, and—”

“And I'm sorry I asked,” he grumbled.

She looped her hands around his neck again and gave him a quick squeeze. “InuYasha . . .”

He rolled his eyes but couldn't keep back the small grin that lifted the corners of his lips. “What, wench, what?”

“I . . . I bought something for you.”

“What do you mean?”

She shrugged, hooking her chin over his shoulder, her eyelashes tickling his cheek when she blinked. “A little present, I guess.”

He tried unsuccessfully to hide his curiosity. “What sort of present?”

She squirmed around again. “You have to put me down, if you want it. It's in my backpack.”

After a moment of deliberation, InuYasha slowed to a walk then stopped before gently letting her slide off his back.

She giggled as she shrugged off the bag and knelt to dig around inside. “It's sort of stupid,” she hedged as she kept looking.

InuYasha crossed his arms over his chest and tried not to look too interested.

“I just saw it when I was out buying ramen and stuff,” she told him. “I don't know . . . for some reason, it just reminded me of you.”

She handed him a little scrap of opalescent silvery material. He stared at it, turning it in his fingers. “What's this?”

Kagome shrugged, wringing her hands nervously as she shifted from one foot to the other. “Well, it's just a kerchief, really . . . the color reminded me of your hair. I guess some guys would put it in their suit jacket pocket . . .”

She was rambling in that nervous way of hers. InuYasha stared at the delicate fabric before he tucked it inside his undershirt.

She made a face and sighed, shaking her head as she closed up her bag and swung it over her shoulders again. “Never mind. It was stupid.”

He caught her hand and pulled her close, kissing her gently as she leaned against him. “Thank you,” he mumbled.

She pulled away with a smile, eyes shining, bright, cheeks pinking from his words. “You really like it?”

“Well, it wasn't something I'd have picked for myself,” he allowed, “but it'll do, wench.”

“You're such a baka,” she told him with a giggle as he quickly kissed her again.

“Hell, dog-shit! What did you do to Kagome? Or better yet what did she do to you?”

InuYasha's growl was low and immediate as he slowly pulled away to glare over his shoulder at the uninvited visitor. “What the fuck do you want?” InuYasha snarled.

Kagome groaned softly, hiding her face against InuYasha's chest.

Kouga shook his head. “I'm looking for Hisadaicho, if you must know,” he remarked.

InuYasha snorted. “You sure she's worth it?”

Kouga's gaze narrowed, an angry glint igniting in his blue eyes. “She'll die by my hand,” he promised. “I don't care who she is.”

“Well, it was nice knowing you,” InuYasha grumbled insincerely. “Who'd'a thought that Sesshoumaru would do something good for me, for a change?”

“You're such a stupid piece of dog-shit,” Kouga growled at InuYasha's blatant reminder of the consequences of killing one's mate.

Kagome straightened up with a marked frown on her face. “Wait . . . the tai-youkai only deals with those who kill their mates, right?”

InuYasha wrinkled his nose. “Yeah . . . which is what Kouga wants to do because he's fucking stupid.”

She shook her head. “How do you know? I mean . . . if Emi left Old Seer to go to this mystery man of hers, how do you know she isn't already mated to someone else?”

“Who?” Kouga asked, shaking his head in confusion.

“Emi . . . she's the one who became Hisadaicho,” Kagome explained as InuYasha rolled his eyes.

“She was a human?”

“Keh! So you can figure something out. Then you should also be able to figure out how fucking stupid—”

“InuYasha, do you think that it's possible?” Kagome interrupted.

“Anything's possible,” he remarked. “Leave it to that mangy wolf to be too stupid to figure out he'd mated the wrong thing.”

Kouga's eyes flared wide as he considered Kagome's words, ignoring InuYasha's blatant verbal assault. “That bitch!” Turning on his heel to speed off into the forest once more, Kouga waved over his shoulder. “See you, Kagome! I'll make time to bat that baka around some for you when we see each other again!”

“Oi!” Growling in frustration since Kouga had already disappeared back into the forest, InuYasha shook his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Why does he always have to do that? Fucking coward . . . just once I'd like to see him try to back up his threats.”

“InuYasha?”

“Stupid mangy wolf . . . hella nasty—”

“InuYasha . . .”

“—bastard . . . who the hell does he think he is? Bat me around, will he? I'd like to see him try!”

Kagome heaved a heavy sigh as she grasped his face between her hands and pulled his lips down to meet hers, effectively ending his tirade as his arms slipped around her, as a low growl erupted in his throat. Unmerciful, the way the contact between them seared right through him. Unbelievable, the way the concentrated heat shot through every part of him. Undeniable, the way her aura called to him. Somewhere deep inside, he'd always known. From the moment he'd come back from . . . wherever he had been . . . pinned to Goshinboku by Kikyou's sacred arrow, he'd known Kagome. Enticingly familiar yet wholly fresh and new, the sweetness of her mouth under his was like the cresting of the flowing tides. He knew her soul, everything about her heart, but he needed to know the secrets of her body, too.

Still a part of him wondered, worried, tempered his rising desire. “Ka . . . gome,” he managed between kisses, before he lost his sanity in her.

She didn't stop kissing him to answer. “Mmm?”

“Are you . . . sure?”

She paused long enough to sigh before kissing him again. “Yes,” she murmured.

He moaned then pulled away far enough to stare at her. “ _Absolutely_ sure?”

She sighed again. “Yes.”

He nodded slowly. “All right,” he agreed, “because we can't undo it, if, uh . . .”

“Now who's talking too much?” she grumbled as she gently pulled him down to kiss her again.

The tumultuous crush of their lips, of their bodies, the rage of emotion that built, that swelled, that shattered the will to resist gave rise to the need for absolute sensation. Kagome's body seemed to mold around his, to flow into him. A slow ebb, a steady burn, a growing ache that consumed him goaded him further as her arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close. Crushing her to him with one arm, he pushed her blouse up over her side with his free hand, his claws gently grazing the soft skin of her lower back. With a sharp gasp, she wrenched her lips away from his, jerking her head to the side.

And then she laughed.

His hand stilled as he stared down at her. She caught the expression on his face as her laughter escalated. “What's so funny, wench?” he growled since he really didn't see any humor in the situation.

“Okay, I'm sorry, sorry,” she giggled as she tried to stop laughing. The harder she tried, the more she giggled.

InuYasha cocked an eyebrow. When she finally managed to contain her humor, he reached for her again. The second his hand touched her hip, she burst out in another fit of giggles. InuYasha snorted as he jerked his hand away. “Keh!”

Waving her hand to fan her red face, Kagome stopped giggling long enough to grab InuYasha's hand as he turned away. “It's all right, I'm sorry . . . it just tickles.”

“. . . Wench.”

“I won't laugh this time, I promise,” she assured him.

He shot her a haughty look. She stepped around him and slipped her arms around his neck again.

This time he didn't even get his hands on her before she dissolved in laughter, great gales of laughter that rang through the forest. With a growl, InuYasha pulled away from her as she doubled over, struggling to breathe as she laughed.

“Now what?” he bellowed. “I didn't even lay a hand on you! Wench!”

“Sorry . . . just . . . can't . . . I . . . knew it . . . _would_ . . . tickle . . .”

“Keh! Never mind that, let's just fucking go.”

As her laughter wound down, she groaned. “My stomach hurts now,” she remarked as she wiped tears of laughter form her eyes.

InuYasha couldn't even summon the tiniest bit of compassion for her, given the circumstances. Trying to retain what was left of his pride, he grabbed her wrist and started to pull her onto his back, only to have her break down in shrieks of laughter all over again. “Keh! You can fucking walk, Kagome,” he growled as he stalked away.

“Wait! InuYasha!” she hollered as she stumbled after him, trying to hold her stomach and run at the same time. She caught up with him and ran around to plant her hands in the center of his chest. “A thousand apologies, I didn't mean to laugh . . . I'm really sorry . . . see? Look.”

He did, rolling his eyes at the wide-eyed, eyelash-batting look he was being given. “Forget it,” he told her gruffly.

“Oh, don't be mad . . . I wasn't laughing _at_ you . . . I was just _laughing_.”

He stopped walking as he flattened his ears and looked away. “It don't matter.”

“It does,” she argued. With a sigh, she shook her head and leaned toward him, pushing up on her toes as she lifted her face to him. Her lips barely touched his. He stepped closer to her, hands on her shoulders—he figured there wasn't much chance _that_ would tickle her—cautiously kissing her back.

“InuYasha?”

“Shh.”

“But—”

He growled.

And she started giggling once again.

InuYasha stepped back, dropping his hands away as he glanced around for something— _anything_ —he could shred. Finding nothing acceptable as Kagome's mirthful laughter echoed around him, he shook his head and stomped off into the forest.

“Where . . . ?” she called after him between rounds of giggles.

“I'm going hunting!” he yelled. If he hadn't thought so before, he did now. He had to have offended someone somewhere because at the moment, he was absolutely certain that someone was gathering their sick, twisted revenge on him . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“I'm really, really, _really_ sorry.”

“Keh.”

“Ramen?”

He didn't deign to look at her. Kagome shook her head slowly. “Are you going to give me the cold shoulder all night?”

She poured hot water into the instant food and bit her bottom lip as she waited. Taking extra care as she stirred the noodles and broth together, she held the disposable container in her fingertips as she scooted toward the hanyou with the peace offering. “I'm sorrier than you'll ever know, InuYasha,” she told him. “Please, please forgive me for laughing.”

He took the food but ignored her as he dug into the noodles.

“I wasn't laughing _at_ you,” she explained again. “I couldn't help it!”

He continued to ignore her as he slowly ate his food.

Kagome sighed. “It just struck me, I guess . . . it all seemed so . . . forced, so . . . unnatural, and then your claws tickled . . . I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.”

He snorted. “Keh. You didn't.”

She winced at his blatant lie. “I just . . . I don't know . . . want things to be special,” she admitted quietly then shook her head. “Not that I mean you aren't special enough . . . just . . .” She trailed off as she stared at her hands in her lap. There wasn't an easy way to explain her feelings, and even then, he obviously didn't want to speak about it.

Finishing off his ramen, InuYasha set the empty container aside and finally looked at her. “Here, wench,” he said as he dragged the vial out of his shirt. She shook it and watched in silence as he did, too. She forced a smile before she leaned forward to kiss his cheek. Turning quickly as she stumbled to her feet, she hurried over to lie down, pulling the thin blanket over her head as she heaved a sigh.

It was too difficult to explain. The entire time, she'd heard this stupid voice in her head, this nagging thought that it wasn't how it was supposed to be, that in all her daydreams and fantasies, she'd always imagined this romantic moment, this fantastic scenario where everything just felt right, perfect. Though the guy was right, the place had seemed awkward, and in the end, she'd probably laughed on purpose because, well, it _wasn't_ `right'.

She gasped as the blanket was jerked away from her. InuYasha sat beside her, a troubled look on his face, a hint of a flush on his cheeks. “What, uh, did you mean? `Special', how?”

Kagome sat up slowly and shrugged. “Just . . . with you and me . . . I want to feel like . . . like we have all the time in the world, even if we don't.”

He nodded, a fleeting grimace flashing across his face. “Was I . . . did I . . . rush you?”

She smiled wanly, leaned against his shoulder. “No, you didn't. Can we just . . . stay like this? Just for tonight?”

He finally smiled as he relaxed against a fallen log. “Yeah,” he answered as he wrapped his arms around her.

She cuddled against him and closed her eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  `Special'? Keh!


	61. Premeditation

 

~~ ** _Chapter 61_** ~~  
~ ** _Premeditation_** ~

 

InuYasha shook his head slowly, wondering once more just how the wench had talked him into this. “Hurry it up, Kagome! We're wasting time!” he hollered down from the tree where he sat, back toward her, as she splashed and played in the water below.

“I'm almost finished,” she called back, raising her voice more than normal to be heard over the rush of the waterfall. “I just have to rinse my hair.”

` _Keh! Baka, baka, baka_ . . .'

He had been sniffing around trying to locate Iwazawa's scent again. He'd lost it about an hour ago. While he was searching for it, Kagome had headed off to refill the water jugs, and when she'd seen the waterfall, she'd come back squealing happily and begging to stop so she could take a _bath_.

` _Her obsession with bathing is . . . unnatural_ ,' he thought with a decisive snort.

“You should take a bath, too. The water's great!”

Stifling a moan, InuYasha stubbornly shook his head. “Just move it, wench.”

“InuYasha, is there a youkai law about cheating on your mate?”

“Cheating? No . . . it's not really an issue, I guess . . . most youkai are either too stupid to mate, like Kouga, or too stoic to care, like that bastard of a brother of mine.”

Kagome splashed around. He could tell she was finally coming out of the water. “Kouga's not stupid,” she contradicted, “he was tricked, and okay, you do have a point with Sesshoumaru . . .” The sloshing water stopped, and when she spoke again, her voice was muffled. “Does that mean that youkai don't . . . well, don't feel like that?”

He shrugged. “Dunno . . . anyway, can we talk about something else?”

“Like what?”

“Keh! Anything but _that_.”

“Are you sure this Iwazawa guy isn't still chasing after you? To get the vial?”

Slowly peeking over his shoulder to make sure Kagome was safely hidden in the confines of proper clothing, InuYasha shrugged before dropping out of the tree. “I dunno. When I tried to hit him, he vanished.”

“Vanished?” Kagome echoed as she brushed out her hair.

“Come on. We've wasted enough time with you and your stupid bath.”

She made a face as she dropped her brush into her bag. “You'll think `stupid bath'. You'd be sorry if I didn't take baths. I'd reek, and it wouldn't bother me at all, since I'm not the one with the super-sensitive sense of smell.” A sudden noise drew her attention as her head whipped to the side. InuYasha dragged her behind his back as he turned to face the disturbance.

Kagome gasped softly as the swan youkai stepped out of the forest. Though she seemed far more interested in the water than she did in the intruders, she spared a glance at InuYasha and Kagome before gilding past them toward the water's edge. She stopped suddenly and turned back, her black eyes darting over Kagome as though she sensed something.

“You . . . I sense its presence, the Shikon no Tama . . .”

InuYasha pulled Kagome back and stepped in front of her. “What of it?”

The swan youkai bowed gracefully, her elongated neck regal, defined, if not a little disconcerting since she had normal skin. Her head was covered in long, white feathers that easily reached the middle of her back. Kagome stood on tiptoe to stare at the beautiful creature. “She's so pretty!” Kagome breathed in awe.

InuYasha snorted but didn't comment.

“You will give it to me,” the swan youkai said quietly, deliberately ignoring InuYasha as she stared over his shoulder at Kagome.

Kagome didn't respond. InuYasha did a double take when he saw the oddly bemused look on Kagome's face. Staring at the swan like she'd never seen a youkai before, she didn't notice that he was watching her at all. InuYasha snorted and waved his hand in front of her face. “Wench! Snap out of it!”

She shook her head and blinked as her gaze focused on him. “I wasn't going to hand it over,” she assured him.

InuYasha snorted again. “She won't, and you'd best back off unless you want to die,” he warned the youkai.

The swan's eyes glided over InuYasha as she lazily nodded. “And you'll give me the jewel or suffer the consequences,” she countered softly.

“Keh! The day I fear a fucking bird is the day I die,” he snarled.

“It can be arranged,” she replied. In a flash of movement, she waved her hand as a wave of light and feathers shot from her.

InuYasha lifted his arm, covering his face with his haori sleeve in time to avoid the explosion. Grabbing Kagome around the waist, he leapt away to deposit her out of immediate danger before he dashed toward the youkai. “ _Sankon-tetsusou!_ ” he bellowed as he slashed at her with his claws.

Emitting an angry sound, a mottled mix of fowl and human, the swan youkai jumped aside as she waved her arm, sending another flash of light, another barrage of feathers toward InuYasha. He dispelled the attack with a slice of his claws.

Lunging at the swan once more, InuYasha cracked his knuckles. The youkai shot off the ground, straight toward him. Talon-like claws caught his arm, tore through the fire rat hide as InuYasha spun away. “Keh! You missed!” he snarled, “but I won't!” Cleaving an arc with his outstretched hand, he tore through her shoulder, and she fell back.

Staring at the blood dripping down her chest, the swan youkai stood up slowly, glowering at InuYasha through her smoky black eyes. “You cannot stop me, hanyou! I must have the Shikon no Tama.”

InuYasha cracked his knuckles again. “And I said you can't fucking have it,” he growled. “So if you want to live, then back off.”

The swan slowly shook her head. “I cannot. I told you. I _must_ have it.”

Without warning, she darted forward again, a blur of white against the foaming blue waterfall. InuYasha drew Tetsusaiga and swung. The razor-sharp fang sliced through the swan. With a howling screech and a flash of light, the youkai exploded, leaving behind nothing more than glittering dust that was swept away on the breeze.

Allowing himself a small grin at his victory, he dropped Tetsusaiga into the scabbard as he turned to receive his much-deserved praise from Kagome. His smile faltered when he saw her face. Staring at the spot where the swan youkai had been cut down, she seemed almost sad. “Come on,” InuYasha grumbled as he tried not to wince. He didn't remember her ever being so upset by dealing with youkai before. Something about the swan had gotten to her.

Kagome didn't answer as she retrieved her backpack and followed him out of the clearing.

They walked in silence for awhile. As much as InuYasha wanted to know what she was thinking, something about the look in her eyes stopped him. Flattening his ears, he stifled a sigh and kept moving. ` _Keh! What the hell? I just did what I always do. I protected her and the jewel. She ought to be grateful. She looks like I killed her best friend_ _. . ._ '

She sighed softly, knotting her fingers together as she frowned at her hands. The silence between them thickened, lengthened, stagnated. InuYasha flattened his ears as his shoulders slumped. “I ain't sorry,” he finally grumbled as his eyebrows drew together. “She would have come after you to get the jewel.”

“I . . . I don't think she wanted to hurt anyone,” Kagome countered.

“Keh! You want I should ask your permission to kill the next youkai that comes after the jewel before or after it tries to kill you?”

She shook her head at his sarcasm. “I know you did what you had to do,” she told him. “It's just . . .”

“You don't honestly think she'd have just asked for the jewel and then left you alone when you didn't hand it over, did you?”

“I know you had to protect the Shikon no Tama,” she said, her tone quiet, little more than a whisper. “I just wonder why she needed it so badly.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. Every youkai that wants it says they need it, wench. The swan was no different.”

Kagome was silent another moment, then she sighed. “She really was beautiful, wasn't she?”

Wrinkling his nose, InuYasha shrugged offhandedly. “She was youkai. Youkai can look beautiful. Don't mean they are.”

“But . . . she didn't strike me as evil.”

InuYasha shook his head. “You trust things too easily, Kagome. I've told you that a thousand times. One of these days, you're gonna trust the wrong person, and—” he cut himself off as he reached for her hand and dragged her onto his back. “Just . . . just be more careful, all right?”

“. . . All right.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Hisadaicho's gaze narrowed as she glared at Iwazawa. Standing before her with his hands clasped behind his back and staring straight ahead, he didn't blink as she scrutinized him, didn't falter at all.

“I trusted you with a very simple task,” she said, “and you tell me that you could not accomplish this one little thing?”

Iwazawa nodded once. “Forgive me, Hisadaicho-sama. I shall not fail you again.”

Hisadaicho turned away, stalked toward the other side of the vast chamber before striding back again. “I should hope not. If you do . . .”

Pressing her hand over the throbbing silvery scar on her wrist, Hisadaicho regarded Iwazawa. “Bring Kagura to me. I have orders for her.”

Iwazawa bowed and turned to leave.

“Do not fail me this time.”

He bowed again and strode out of the chamber.

Only after he was gone did Hisadaicho uncover her arm to stare at the tingling scar. ` _Kagura . . . so you seek to escape me_ _. . ._ _Don't you realize you cannot?_ ' A humorless smile touched her lips as the scar pulsed with a pink glow. ` _You will destroy Sesshoumaru . . . you don't have a choice_ . . .' The smile faded as she tapped her index finger against her lips. ` _As for InuYasha . . . ? Perhaps I should see to this matter, myself_ . . .'

She was tired of waiting. Her patience was wearing thin as she grew more restless. The whispering voice grew stronger, the quiet hiss of her koishii's demands more ardent. ` _It must be done. The miko requires a complete soul, her full potential_ _. . ._ _Only then can the ritual be performed. Perhaps I shall allow InuYasha to witness the end, and the beginning. You shall have your revenge soon, my koishii. Soon_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome wrinkled her nose and huddled closer to the fire, wishing that her skin wasn't all clammy, wishing that she had something completely dry to wear.

The torrential rain had started around four. At the time, InuYasha had been running through a wide-open meadow, and by the time he'd found this cave, the two of them were drenched, and her backpack was waterlogged. At least she was able to find a semi-dry change of clothes in her bag. InuYasha wasn't so fortunate.

He had his haori and undershirt off, both of which were hanging on sticks, drying near the fire. The poor hanyou was huddled next to her, skin engulfed in a violent covering of goosebumps since the temperature had dropped dramatically with the coming of the thunder and the rain. His hair was still wet, and he still wore his soaked hakama. Kagome winced when she saw that he was digging his front teeth into his lower lip to keep from shivering outright. Add to that the serious lack of dry firewood, and she figured that it was one of the most miserable evenings she'd spent in Sengoku Jidai.

Digging into the bag, she tugged out a damp towel and scooted behind him to rub his hair. He straightened his back, startled at her actions but allowed her to continue without comment. “I'm sorry this isn't dry,” she muttered as she worked.

“It's fine,” he managed without letting his voice falter from the chilly air.

“If I hadn't wanted to stop for that bath, we'd have been closer to the cave when the rain started.”

“K-keh.”

She leaned closer against his back and felt him relax a little as her body heat added to his. She deliberately ignored the little fluttering in her belly as she slowly, methodically dried his hair, taking extra care to be gentle around his ears. The towel slipped, and she grimaced as her fingers brushed over the fuzzy appendages. They were so cold . . .

Standing on her knees, she carefully held her hands around his ears. They twitched against her, tickling her palms just a little, but he didn't pull away. “Are you warmer now?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. She peeked around his shoulders and smiled. He had his eyes closed, a half-smile on his lips as he let her take care of him.

“I didn't realize your ears get cold, too,” she remarked softly.

He shrugged. “Sure . . . don't yours?”

Kagome grinned. “Yeah, I guess they do, sometimes.”

He sighed as he turned his head to stare at the cave's entrance. “Are you warm enough? I can get more wood . . .”

She leaned against him when he started to get up. “No, it's fine. Besides, you're not going to find anything dry enough to burn.” Grabbing the towel, she draped it over his head. “Let me get your ramen ready, then I'll finish drying your hair.”

He didn't complain as she hurried over to pour boiling water into the two containers. He'd offered to go hunting after he'd finally gotten the fire started. Kagome had insisted she wasn't very hungry. She didn't have the heart to watch him go back out in the rain, not when he had water streaming down his face, dripping from the tip of his nose at the time. Setting the food aside to cook, she turned back to face InuYasha and clapped her hands over her mouth before she did something really, really horrible, like laugh at him.

The towel over his head hid his ears and the way he was looking at her, eyes round, blinking . . . The image of a mischievous puppy peeking out from under a blanket flashed through her mind, and she was hard-pressed not to giggle.

She knelt behind him and tugged the pink towel off his head, gently scrunching the water out of his hair. “I think my blanket is pretty dry . . . you could always wrap up in that, if you want to let your pants dry.”

He snorted. “Keh. No, thanks.”

She rolled her eyes. “You don't have to be shy. I won't peek . . .”

He snorted again. “And if a youkai shows up? You want I should fight him while I'm naked?”

Kagome didn't answer as her cheeks heated up. “Well, I didn't think of that, no . . .”

He made a face. “Somehow I don't think they'd oblige me if I asked them to wait while I put my hakama back on.”

She pointed over his shoulder at the food. “Your ramen's done.”

He peeked back at her with a trace frown. “You gonna eat?”

She shrugged. “I will. I want to make sure you're dry enough, first.”

“Kagome—”

“You take care of me all the time, InuYasha. Let me do this. I won't starve.”

He frowned his disapproval at her but leaned forward to grab his food. Pulling up a large bite of noodles, he turned and held it out to her. “Eat, wench.”

“That's enough to choke a horse. I'll eat when I'm done.”

He grudgingly dropped about half of the noodles off the chopsticks before stubbornly shoving them at her once more. She sighed and shook her head but leaned in closer to eat the offered food. InuYasha ate a bite, too, and then poked another one at her.

She finished drying his hair and draped her blanket over his shoulders before sitting down beside him. They were half-way through the second cup of ramen, and when InuYasha held out another bite to her, she shook her head. “You finish it,” she told him. “I've had enough.”

He shot her a suspicious look. “You say that all the time, wench, and then your stomach growls about an hour later.”

She waved off his concern. “Not this time,” she assured him as she glanced over at the cave entrance. “Do you think it'll rain all night?”

He shrugged. “Dunno . . . I need to get more wood before it gets too dark.”

Kagome shook her head as she pulled a sweater out of her bag. “I'll do it.”

“Wench—”

“I won't go far, and even if I get drenched, I have extra clothes. You don't. I'll take the umbrella.”

“And how are you going to carry the wood when you've got that?”

She shrugged. “It doesn't take two arms to carry this,” she assured him, waving the umbrella at him.

He got up, dropping the blanket in a careless heap as he reached for Tetsusaiga. “Forget it, Kagome. I'll get it.”

“But—”

He silenced her with the fierce look he shot her. She sighed but didn't try to stop him as he strode toward the cave entrance, jamming Tetsusaiga into his waist band. Scanning the landscape, he stood still for a moment before he darted out into the rain.

Wrinkling her nose at his stubborn display, Kagome snatched up the blanket and held it open as close to the fire as she dared. She didn't care what he said when he got back. He was going to be wet and cold all over again. The least she could do was make sure that the blanket was warm and dry for him. If he wasn't careful, he was going to get sick, and she didn't care that he seemed to believe that he was invincible. She'd rather not test that.

` _Baka_.'

She shook her head and smiled as the image of him with the towel draped over his head came back to her. ` _Adorable baka but still a baka_ . . .' Laying the blanket down, Kagome grabbed the towel to warm.

She was watching for him when he darted back into the cave ten minutes later, arms laden with enough wood to last the night and then some. He dropped the wood as Kagome ran toward him with the towel. She stopped when he started shaking his head, squealing and turning her face away as he showered her with droplets of rain. “InuYasha!” she protested with a giggle.

He snorted as he gathered the wood up again and headed over to the fire. Lining the wood around the fire but not close enough for it to catch before he squatted down again, he flashed Kagome a thankful grin when she draped the warmed towel over his shoulders. “The wood's not too wet,” he commented as he discarded the towel. “There was an abandoned hut.”

Kagome nodded as she wrapped the blanket over his shoulders. He held it open for her. She sat beside him and wrapped her arms around his waist as he enclosed her under the blanket, too.

They sat in comfortable silence for a long while. InuYasha's soaked hakama dampened her skirt but she didn't complain. Just being that close to him was enough. He leaned forward far enough to push a couple logs onto the fire. With a soft sigh, he stared down at her, golden eyes bright, steady.

“I think I understand now.”

She cocked her head to the side to meet his gaze. “Understand what?”

He shrugged. “When you said before, that we'd take care of each other.”

She smiled, reaching up to stroke his cheek. “Yeah . . .”

He kissed her forehead as he pulled her closer. “I can live with that.”

She giggled. “Good.”

The quiet fell again, a lethargic comfort surrounding her. With a yawn, she sat up and checked her watch. Nine-thirty? She hadn't realized it was already that late. She started to get up. InuYasha glanced at her. “Where are you going?”

She made a face. “The little girls' room,” she quipped as she stumbled toward the entrance of the cave.

“Don't go far,” he called after her.

She nodded. “I won't. I'll be right back.”

She could hear him stand up, and she rolled her eyes. ` _I should have known_ . . .'

The rain had stopped, the skies were clear and bright. The freshness of the clean land was exhilarating, and as Kagome stepped out of the cave, she gasped softly as her eyes lifted to the darkness of the skies above, wide in wonder, in absolute enchantment.

“InuYasha! Come look!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Sankon-tetsusou:** Iron Reaver, Soul Stealer.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  …What's she yelling about?  
> ==========


	62. Shooting Stars

 

~~ ** _Chapter 62_** ~~  
~ ** _Shooting Stars_** ~

 

"InuYasha! Come look!"

Seconds later, InuYasha skidded to a stop just behind her. “What?”

She pointed up at the sky. “It's amazing,” she breathed, staring at the stars shooting across the heavens.

“There's so many of them,” he murmured as he watched the sky.

“I guess it's a meteor shower,” she told him. “I read about them, in science. I've never seen one before . . .”

“Meteor . . . ?”

She giggled softly. “I could explain them to you . . . or we could just watch . . .”

“Keh.”

She ran forward into the grass and sank down, ignoring the wet land. InuYasha sat beside her. “It's beautiful, isn't it?”

He didn't answer as he leaned back on his elbows.

Kagome lay back, folding her hands together on her stomach as she stared at the streaking stars. “I remember . . . you used to hate it when I bugged you about watching stars with me,” she said.

“I didn't hate it,” he argued.

“You did. You asked me what the point was. You said they were just stars.”

She didn't have to look at him to know he was scowling. “You said that you couldn't see them so well in your time.”

“I remember every time we ever watched the stars together.”

“Keh. Maybe that's what happened.”

She glanced at him. He looked a little sad. Profile etched in the darkness, a shadow veiled in the mysteries of the night, his eyes alone were bright, shining, reflecting the trailing lights of the meteor shower. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged, as if the answer were simple. “Maybe the stars have already fallen. Maybe that's why you can't see them so good.”

“That means a lot of wishes were granted. They say if you wish on a falling star, your wish will come true.” She frowned. “I wonder if that works on meteors . . . ?”

“Make a wish and see.”

She smiled. “Okay.” Closing her eyes, she wasn't surprised when InuYasha's face came to mind. ` _I wish . . . I wish to be with InuYasha forever_.'

She started to open her eyes but sighed when the warmth of InuYasha's mouth closed over hers. Tender and soft, a whisper of movement, a flutter of sensation shot through her as her belly erupted, tumbling over and over. Beautiful threads of undeniable fire inundated her, a rancorous tide of obsession swelling, tugging, creating an explosive incineration of heat and light.

He leaned away from her, gentle fingers trembling as he brushed her hair away from her face, gaze bright, challenging. The things he never said, the emotions he tried to hide, the absolute wealth of love, of cautious hope filled his eyes, made them glow as another star streaked overhead. He opened his mouth to say something but the words wouldn't come. A quiet sense of wonder, the feeling that she was exactly where she wanted to be, the fruition of a beautiful dream . . . She brushed her fingertips over his lips, felt him shiver at the contact. “InuYasha . . .”

He caught her fingers, held them against his chest as he kissed her again. The wild fluctuations of his heart punctuated the stillness of the night, of the new world, washed clean in the torrent of rain. The gentle crush of his lips on hers, the shock of his fangs as he sucked her bottom lip, as he flicked the tip of his tongue over her swollen flesh made her shudder. He pulled back suddenly, eyes registering concern as her body protested the abrupt departure of his mouth. “Kagome? Are you cold?”

Shaking her head as her words failed, she tried to smile, to reassure him that she was fine. He dropped his lips to her throat, nudging her head to the side as he assaulted her senses once more. She tried to pull him closer, tugged on his shoulders as he held himself back. Suspended above her, just out of her reach, lingering promises hanging in the air as thick as the stars above them.

Contradicting emotions warred in her. The consuming burn, the overpowering need, the lure of him seemed somehow at odds with the slow torture of his controlled movements. Longing became needing, needing became an ache, a pain that made her whimper softly. A vortex of sensation caught her up, pulled her closer to the spiraling darkness, but InuYasha was relentless.

His hand sought the warmth of her skin, pushing under her blouse as he moaned against her throat. She sucked in a sharp breath as her body undulated under his perusal, as though her flesh was trying to meld into him. The remnants of coherent thought fled as the power of speech abandoned her. Her senses concentrated on him, on the painful ache that twisted her. She didn't comprehend how he managed to unfasten her blouse, didn't feel as the thin material slipped away from her skin. With a ragged sound, almost a sob, almost a groan, the shocking feel of his mouth on her breast drew her off the ground as she strained against him.

His breath fanned over her in waves, setting off a chain reaction in her nerves that shot straight to the dull ache deep inside. The warmth of his hand on her other breast was almost too much for her to bear. When he squeezed her gently, she cried out, fingernails digging into his shoulders as her body seemed to fall apart. If he noticed, he didn't react. Concentrating on his thorough discovery of her body, his rumble that was meant to soothe her only pushed her further. His hands slid down her body, caught on the waist of her skirt. She heard the fabric rip, felt the cool night air hit her overheated flesh as a welcome surge of fever enveloped her again. His claws trailed over the cotton panties, the heat of his hand caught between her conflagrant skin and the material was enough to draw a whimper from her.

He nuzzled his way to the peak of her other breast, lathing her skin with his tongue, scraping his fangs over her in an invisible brand. She ran her hands up and down his chest, his sides, his back, as though her fingers could map out the complexities of the muscles laboring under his skin. Her entire body shook as she struggled with the emotions he unleashed in her, the overwhelming need to show him how much she loved him, how much she wanted him. As if her soul had known from the start, as if every single moment had led to this one, memories were hazy, jumbled, and all of them centered on InuYasha.

His hands shook as his control faltered. She could sense the barely-contained youkai blood surging inside him, thundering with the beat of his heart, and she understood. Fumbling with the knot at his waist, she managed to loosen his hakama, shoving them aside as her hands traced over the defined hollows of his hips. He shifted his legs, kicked off his pants as he pressed wet kisses against her stomach, trailing his lips over her skin. With a tug, a snap, her panties fell victim to his claws, too, and when his hand returned, her hips rose to meet his touch. Compelled by the whispered promise of something wild and beautiful, of something that had been worth the wait, Kagome gave herself up to him, let him lead her as her fingers tangled in his silvery locks, the coolness of his hair a balm on her nerves as the soft strands trailed over her in the wake of his scorching mouth.

Nibbling the delicate skin of her hip, InuYasha growled low as she gasped, as she tried to escape his perusal. She felt as though she was going to die, but it wasn't clear to her if she would die if he stopped or if he kept going. The feelings that rocked through her were almost painful now, her body so overwrought that she felt like she was going to break into a million pieces. His fingers rubbed against her as his torturous kisses continued. She opened her mouth to beg him, to plead with him. The words were lost as his finger slid into her, setting off a chain-reaction, wrenching a cry from the depths of her soul.

The world combusted in his touch, the universe exploded in a wash of color and light, of shadows with no real form as he soothed her, as he gently goaded her further. She felt like she was melting, dissolving, flowing into him in a gush of liquid heat. A searing detonation of fire ignited all over, a tumultuous sense that the earth was fading below her as the insistent flick of something molten seemed to engulf her again.

“K-Kagome . . . your scent . . .”

Forcing her eyes open, she gasped softly as another wave of sensation hit her coupled with the low growl that welled out of InuYasha's throat only to reverberate straight through her. He held her thighs apart, his tongue licking at her with a gentle insistence, his golden eyes locking with hers. The absolute pride, the complete arrogance of ownership was strangely welcome, and Kagome fell back, reveling in sensation as he stripped away the last layers of thought, of reason, of sanity.

Relentless, unyielding, InuYasha learned everything about her; the things that made her shiver, moan . . . the sighs, the uncontrollable seizing in her body . . . the things he'd always known about her mingled with the beauty of her. A free heart, a giving soul, an inner fire that dragged him closer and closer to the person he wanted to be, for her.

As much as his body ached, painfully so, the torment was worth the effort every time Kagome responded to him. Controlling his baser instincts was harder, goaded as he was by the dreams he tried to forget. Somehow her reactions were the same as they were in his dreams, but this time there was a level of emotion that had been missing all those nights. Her rain-dampened skin seemed to reach for him, jumped under his fingers, her heart, her soul, her being . . .

` _Mine_ ,' his youkai blood rumbled.

InuYasha flicked his ears, trying to ignore the desperation of his own body. The burn was excruciating; the devastation to his senses was painful. Her heartbeat pounded in his ears as her scent spiraled further and further out of his control; the taste of her engulfed him. She trembled in his hands like a wild creature, a wanton soul.

“Please,” she breathed as she tossed her head back and forth. That quiet plea, that request . . .

With a low growl, he slid his body against hers, slowly, carefully. A thousand nerves exploded, shooting through his system to his brain before it rebounded back to the lower ache deep inside. Kagome tugged at his shoulders, wanting him closer, needing him closer. She pulled herself up against him, capturing his lips in a frenzied kiss.

“Mine,” he mumbled as her kiss deepened.

She uttered a soft growl in response, her body pressing against him so tightly he gasped at the absolute heat of her, the burning skin that marked him.

He braced his knee on the slippery grass, pressed into her as she let her head fall back again, as she cried out. The shock of pure sensation was heady, overwhelming. He bit his lip as he struggled to contain himself. She quivered around him, her body convulsing as she whimpered softly. Movements stilted, hesitant, balanced on the very edge of self-control and the need that consumed him, he gritted his teeth as Kagome writhed under him. “S-stop,” he hissed.

She stilled immediately with a whimper of protest. His youkai blood raged within him, dark and foreboding, demanding satiation as his human blood tempered him. Slowly he moved inside her, gently soothing her as he held her close to his heart. Her ragged breathing, her soft shudders were magnified in his ears, around his spirit. She took what he offered, gave back what she could as she opened her eyes, as she gazed at him through the heavy fringe of her lashes. Everything necessary culminated in her as she became his will, his sense, his focus. The sun rose in her smile, the moon shone in her eyes, the stars that streaked across the heavens couldn't shine brighter than she did.

She pushed against him, told him with her body, what she wanted, needed from him. Wrapping her arms around his neck to draw him back into a kiss, Kagome's lips opened to him, swelling beneath the crush of his mouth. She tasted like the morning dew, like the wind that whistled through his hair when he ran through the forest. Vibrant, alive, comfortable and wholly exciting, she surrounded him in her aura, accepted him for who he was as she clung to him, trusting him to lead her, to guide her, to shelter and protect her.

The steady rhythm of their bodies contradicted the erratic syncopation of their beating hearts. The rush of their kiss was dictated by pulsing sensation, by the united feel of completeness. She mumbled nonsense words against his mouth, lost in the silence of the night. His lips dropped to her throat, his tongue bathed her skin, nibbled her flesh as his movements grew more demanding. She met his body, lifting her hips against his. His breath became choked gasps, and she whimpered softly, burying her face against his neck.

Unnerving tension built inside him, the knowledge that the end they both strove for was just out of his grasp. Her body shuddered around him as she held onto him tightly, as though she was afraid to let him go.

As if in silent consent, Kagome opened her eyes. Hidden in shadows, the glimmer of the stars reflected in her gaze, her eyelids drifted closed as she nodded at him. The unspoken acknowledgement sent shivers down his spine, a heady realization that she knew and understood how much he wanted to give this part of himself to her.

The feelings intensified, the subtle need burgeoning into a white-hot burn. Somewhere in his mind, he heard her call out his name as her body constricted, tightened almost painfully. The salt of her tears invaded his nose as the ache inside him suddenly broke free, as the sound of her laughter, of her sobs confused him, thrilled him, protected him, and he collapsed against her as she showered his face with kisses.

When he finally opened his eyes, he was flat on his back with Kagome sprawled over his chest though he couldn't remember rolling them over. She was still preoccupied with covering every inch of his face with her kisses, not that he minded. He grinned then winced, gaze falling on the silvery paths on her cheeks, left in the wake of her tears. “Kagome? Did I . . . ?” he trailed off, a sickened feeling turning his stomach.

“What? No! No, I . . . I'm happy.”

“You cry when you're happy?” he asked dubiously.

She shrugged. “Sometimes . . .”

He shook his head slowly as Kagome laid her head on his shoulder and stared up at the sky. “I don't get it.”

“InuYasha?”

He tightened his arms around her. “Hmm?'

“Does this mean . . . we're mates, right?”

He shifted uncomfortably, wondering where she was going with this. “Yeah . . . Why?”

She giggled and snuggled closer. “I just wanted to make sure, that's all.”

“It's . . . all right, isn't it?”

She leaned on her elbow to stare at him as she carefully smoothed away the scowl on his features. “Why wouldn't it be?”

He shrugged, trying for an air of nonchalance. “Dunno . . . thought maybe you'd change your mind.”

She kissed him gently before rubbing the tip of her nose against his. “You're the one person I've been sure of all along, InuYasha. Don't you know that?”

He snorted. “Keh.” A little smile turned up the corners of his lips, and Kagome kissed him again. “Thought you said you had to come outside for a reason,” he pointed out.

Kagome made a face. “Well, sort of. Would you rather that I waited till the middle of the night to go? Alone? In the dark?”

InuYasha leaned back on his elbows. “You'd better hurry then, wench. You're missing your shooting stars.”

She sat up and grabbed her blouse. It fell into her lap as she lifted an eyebrow, dangling her bra from her finger as she shifted a pointed stare at the hanyou. “I could have unhooked this,” she remarked mildly.

He hid his smile as he looked away. “Keh. You didn't even notice.”

She sighed and pulled her blouse back on. “At least you unbuttoned this,” she reasoned as her nimble fingers reworked the fastenings.

“I'm not an animal,” he pointed out.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek before swiping up the destroyed skirt and panties as he pulled on his hakama again. She clucked her tongue but didn't comment. InuYasha couldn't hide his smile as she ran back into the cave for a change of clothes.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _Shooting stars_ . . .'

The ribbons of light that streaked through the night sky were stunning, beautiful. Kagura stood at the window staring at the melancholy wane of the twinkling lights. Why did they make her sad?

` _An omen? A warning that my light shall fade, too?_ '

Kagura sighed as a sudden throbbing erupted in her veins. She knew what it meant. She'd tried to ignore it. How much longer could she get away with such deceit?

A shadow moved in the shadows, a black outline in the darkness under the sakura trees. Kagura winced as a searing pain shot through her. Hisadaicho was growing impatient.

Casting a quick glance at Sesshoumaru, she smiled sadly as she slipped from the chamber. Running down the hallway, her feet barely a whisper against the floor, her heart thundered in her ears as a terrible sense of foreboding crept up her spine.

The night air was cool, the lingering scent of the cleansing rain thick in her nose as she stepped out of the castle.

“You're to come with me.”

Kagura gasped and spun around. Barely discernable in the blackened shadows next to the door, the man stood up, his eyes catching the faint light of the shooting stars as his face reflected a ghostly white pallor in the night. She recognized him. Hisadaicho had sent him.

“I cannot,” Kagura hissed as she peered up at the open bedroom window. “Sesshoumaru will notice if I'm gone in the morning.”

Iwazawa shrugged. “That isn't my problem, now come.”

Frustration welled up inside her, bitter anger as the body that housed her soul moved on its own accord. Pulling the feather from her hair, she tossed it into the air. The feather grew into a makeshift transport, and she climbed on as Iwazawa clumsily sat behind her.

Casting one last glance back at the window, she wasn't certain whether she ought to draw comfort from the empty darkness or not. ` _He . . . he won't see me go_ _. . . and maybe it's better that way_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _Meteor showers, huh_ . . .'

InuYasha shifted slightly, pulling Kagome closer as she slept. Her sheer exhaustion kept him from bothering her even though he wasn't tired in the least. The complete sense of utter contentment was an unsettling thing for him. He couldn't help the worry that chafed him, the stupid thought that something was going to ruin it all, or that someone would wake him up, tell him that it was only a dream, and that Kagome wasn't really his.

` _Mine_ . . .'

He grinned as he pulled his haori closer under her chin. The brisk night air was soothing to him. Kagome, on the other hand, was less resistant to the weather. A pathetic human, maybe, but she was his pathetic human, and he liked having her underfoot . . .

A sharp twinge on his cheek drew his slapping palm before he could think about it. Myouga groaned and fell away in InuYasha's hand as the hanyou glared at the flea youkai. “InuYasha-sama . . . so good to taste you again.”

“Save it, Myouga. What do you want?”

Myouga sat up straight, his buggy eyes shifting from InuYasha's face to Kagome's sleeping form. “InuYasha-sama! You've done it! Congratulations!”

Reddening under the flea's scrutiny, InuYasha looked away. “Was there something you wanted, Myouga?”

Myouga sighed. “Not really . . . I was just passing through . . . tell me . . . if you and Kagome-sama mated, why do you still have traces of the toxin in your blood?”

He grimaced. “I do?”

Myouga nodded. “It's still there, yes . . . You didn't act out your dreams, then?”

InuYasha didn't answer as his face darkened just a little more.

Myouga stared thoughtfully at Kagome before hopping onto InuYasha's chest to peek at the vial. “You'd better shake that then,” he remarked off-handedly.

“Fuck,” InuYasha snarled as he shook the vial and stared at Kagome. The last thing he wanted to do was wake her up and admit that the toxin hadn't been broken, after all.

Myouga seemed to understand InuYasha's current upset. “You're mated now. Your blood is one in the same. The bond is complete. Only one of you should have to shake the vial to activate it,” he explained as he poked around for a good place to draw some blood.

InuYasha glowered at the flea youkai. “Only one of us?”

Myouga nodded. “Yes . . . and since I answered your questions, I think it only fair that you allow me a simple meal.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! Forget it, flea!”

“Master Totosai asked that I remind you that you need to bring Tetsusaiga to him for sharpening,” Myouga said, his voice mulish in his disappointment.

“I don't have time to go visiting,” InuYasha growled as he let go of the talisman.

“Perhaps not, but you ought to ask Totosai to make a protective charm for Kagome-sama. She is mortal, after all.”

InuYasha considered that. “What do you mean, a protective charm?”

Myouga grinned. “I'm feeling a little faint . . . if I had a decent meal, perhaps I could remember more about the charms . . .”

“You little—” Cutting himself short, InuYasha heaved a sigh. “Fine. Make it fast, Myouga.”

With a giddy cackle, Myouga wasted little time in helping himself to InuYasha's blood. By the time he'd finished, he was roughly double his normal size. “Totosai can make a protective charm for Kagome-sama that should help you locate her, if you are ever separated, and it should offer a little more of your own powers to her, for example, your faster rate of healing. It wouldn't be as fast as you, but it should help her immensely.

InuYasha nodded slowly. “I get it . . . maybe I do have time to see the old codger . . . what does he need to make this talisman?”

Myouga shrugged. “Nothing fancy, just one of your fangs.”

InuYasha made a face. “My fangs? Keh! The last time I let him yank one of my fangs, the old bastard enjoyed it a little too much.”

Myouga bowed. “You wouldn't give up one of your fangs for your mate?”

“I never said that,” InuYasha snarled.

Myouga nodded slowly and peeked up at InuYasha again. “So, InuYasha-sama . . . why don't you tell me what you have been dreaming about since the mating didn't break the toxin, after all?”

InuYasha blushed as he flicked the flea away. Myouga yelled as he flew through the air. InuYasha grimaced as he gazed down at Kagome's sleeping form. Cuddled against him with all the trust in the world that he would keep her safe, he couldn't help the twinge of guilt as memories of his twisted dreams accosted him. Grasping the talisman in one hand, he shook his head slowly.

` _I . . . I can't tell her . . . she'd never . . . and I don't want her to_ . . .'

He sighed. ` _Why can't anything ever be easy?_ '

Kagome squirmed closer to him. He lay back in the grass, staring as the last few trailing stars sailed high overhead. A startled smile surfaced as realization dawned on him. ` _I . . . I don't have anything left to wish for. Kagome was the only one I've ever wanted_.'

“Inu . . . Yasha . . .”

Tightening his arms around her, InuYasha held her close, content to hold her, to be near her, to be with her and to know that he'd finally found a place to belong, a place to call home, because Kagome . . .

Kagome was his home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  So . . . did we break the toxin's effects?


	63. Totosai

 

~~ ** _Chapter 63_** ~~  
~ ** _Totosai_** ~

 

“Are you here, old man?”

InuYasha stomped into the skull-shaped cave with Kagome in tow as Master Totosai glanced up from his task. Exhaling an inferno of fire breath onto the unshaped fang of a very large creature, the sword smith seemed surprised to see the two. “InuYasha? You're still around?”

“Shut the hell up, you old codger. Myouga said you wanted to see me.”

“I did?” Totosai asked, scratching his head in confusion.

InuYasha raised his fist to thump Totosai. Kagome caught his wrist. “InuYasha!”

“Wench!” he growled but let his arm drop. “Myouga said you can make some sort of protective talisman for Kagome.”

“I can?”

“Apparently,” InuYasha growled sarcastically. “So do it.”

Complete befuddlement engulfed the old sword smith's expression. “Do what?”

“Damn you, Totosai, are you trying to piss me off?”

“InuYasha, you know he's always like this,” Kagome pointed out reasonably.

InuYasha shifted his gaze to the side as he snorted at her assessment. “Keh. I know, and I swear he does it on purpose.”

Totosai stood up slowly, bulging eyes carefully regarding Kagome. “What have you done to this sweet girl, InuYasha? She reeks of . . . of . . . you!”

“Why, you—” InuYasha began as he shook off Kagome's hands and clouted the sword smith over the head. “That's how the hell she's supposed to smell after . . . never fucking mind! Can you do it or not?”

“Oh, I think I want to die now,” Kagome grumbled as she smashed her palms against her flaming cheeks.

Totosai flopped back onto the ground as a goose-egg welled up on his head. “Can I do what?”

“Make. Her. A. Tal—is—man,” InuYasha gritted out as he flexed his claws.

“A talisman, you say? I can't do that . . . I don't have a fang.”

InuYasha thwapped Totosai again. “If I give you one of my fangs, can you make her one?”

Totosai pondered that then nodded. “I could do that . . . if I remember how . . .”

InuYasha looked like he was ready to beat the memory back into the old sword smith's head. Kagome grabbed his arm and smiled sweetly. “Why don't you leave Totosai alone to remember while you . . . pull one of your fangs then?”

He shifted his glower to her. “You seem anxious to see me do this, wench. Want to see me in pain, do you?”

Her mouth dropped open as her cheeks exploded in indignant color. “You take that back!”

InuYasha rolled his eyes and turned on his heel to stomp out of the cave with Kagome in tow. “Calm down. I was joking.”

“That _so_ wasn't funny,” she retorted. “You make it sound as if I put you in pain just to see you squirm, dog-boy!”

“I said I was joking, wench! Get off my back!”

“I'm not on your back!” she argued as she chased after him.

“Are too.”

“Am not!”

“Keh! You are!”

“No, I'm not!”

Totosai shook his head as he watched the two exit the cave, their escalating disagreement echoing in their wake. ` _InuYasha is going to drive her crazy_ ,' he thought as he resumed his work with the boar youkai's fang. He couldn't help the amused glint that lit his gaze as he drew a deep breath and blew fire on the weapon.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“So you came.”

Kagura stood motionless in the chamber. Iwazawa bowed in deference to his mistress before backing out of the room, leaving the two alone. Only after she heard the door slide closed did she speak, magenta eyes flaring with impotent rage. “Was I given a choice?”

Hisadaicho smiled indulgently as she carelessly turned her back on the wind sorceress. “You make it sound so ugly, Kagura. I've given you life. Think of me as . . . your mother.”

“Rot in hell, Hisadaicho. I won't help you.”

“You still believe you have a choice, Kagura?”

Kagura's expression registered her unbridled anger, her consuming disbelief. “You think you control me? You control this body. You'll never control my mind, and I _will_ find a way to stop you.”

Slowly Hisadaicho sauntered over, ran her fingertips along Kagura's jaw. Smiling as the wind sorceress' body stiffened but did not pull away, Hisadaicho circled Kagura. She could tell that Kagura's soul was warring with the body she'd been given, and the body was winning. ` _How frustrating, Kagura . . . you do so loathe this control I have over you_ . . .' Running her fingertips over Kagura's back, trailing her hand from shoulder to shoulder as she completed her path around the Wind Sorceress, Hisadaicho's smile widened. “Without control of this body, you'll never stop me. You'll do as you're told because you can't help yourself. You'll do as I say, and I say you _will_ destroy your mate.”

“Who gave you this knowledge? How did you know about Sesshoumaru? How did you know about me?”

“You'd be amazed at what I know,” Hisadaicho countered as she strode to the window. “I possess knowledge that would amaze you.”

“I'll never do what you want. Keep your perversions away from Sesshoumaru.”

“Protecting your mate, Kagura? How noble. I do not plan on doing a thing to your darling Sesshoumaru. You, however, are another matter.” Lavender eyes flicked coolly over Kagura as Hisadaicho's smile lingered. “Do you think he will forgive you? Given time, that is . . . perhaps his soul will find a measure of peace in the afterlife. Then, Kagura, and only then, shall you be free of my control.”

“My will is stronger than you,” Kagura challenged. “I will not do what you want.”

Hisadaicho loosened her control over Kagura's body with a flick of her wrist, a dismissive gesture. Kagura's hands balled into fists at her sides. “Is it bothersome, Kagura? To wish nothing more than to be able to move your body to strike me down and to have that body thwart you?”

“Damn you.”

Hisadaicho's head turned suddenly, gazing out the window at something that made her smile. “Your mate is here. What will you tell him? How will you cover your tracks?”

“I'll tell him the truth,” Kagura answered, her chin rising in defiance. “I'll tell him the truth, even if it kills me. I'd rather be dead than to be used as your pawn.”

The amusement faded from Hisadaicho's gaze as her head jerked to the side to look at Kagura. “Be careful what you wish for. Never forget that you are completely expendable.”

A resounding crash echoed through the castle, shaking the walls with the force of Sesshoumaru's entrance. Kagura ran from the chamber, stopping at the top of the stairs as Hisadaicho trailed behind her. “Remember my words, Kagura,” she hissed in Kagura's ear.

Sesshoumaru wasted no time, lashing out his energy whip at anyone fool enough to get in his way. His expression was blank, controlled, no sign of emotion as he refused to deviate from his course. Lashing out his whip once more, he cut through two of Hisadaicho's minions without faltering in his stride. Eyes ablaze with fire, the youkai's countenance gave away nothing as he swept up the staircase, his glare fixed on Hisadaicho. When he reached the head of the stairs, he grabbed Kagura's hand and dragged her back behind him as he glared down at Hisadaicho, amber eyes bleeding into crimson with the beat of his heart. “The likes of you will not touch her!”

Hisadaicho laughed softly. “She came to me willingly, Sesshoumaru. You did not know this?”

With a menacing growl, the tai-youkai stepped closer. “You lie. I smelled the stench of your underling on my land. Trespass again, and I shall cut you down, just as I did your pathetic warrior.”

Hisadaicho's gaze shifted to the side, staring over the banister at Iwazawa's crumpled form as the faintest flicker of amusement lit her eyes. “Do you think he can be cut down that easily?” With a careless flick of Hisadaicho's wrist Iwazawa twitched then pushed himself off the floor.

“What trickery is this?” Sesshoumaru demanded as he grasped Tokijin's hilt.

“The dead are easy to manipulate, Sesshoumaru . . . aren't they, Kagura?”

Chin dropping a notch as amber eyes narrowed in a deadly glare, Sesshoumaru didn't look away from Hisadaicho though his command was directed at his mate, instead. “Explain, Kagura.”

Hisadaicho smiled as Kagura tried to speak. Casually grasping her wrist in her hand, she pressed her palm against the scar. Kagura stumbled back, a hand clenched to her chest as she steadied herself on the wall behind her as Hisadaicho's smile widened.

“Sesshoumaru . . .” Kagura murmured, her voice strained, choked. Unable to say more, she ran down the stairs as fast as she could, dragging her fans out of her kimono as she moved. Sending a blast from the fans to disburse the sentries blocking her path, Kagura pulled her feather from her hair and hopped aboard before sailing out the doors and into the morning sky.

A moment of hesitation sparked behind Sesshoumaru's amber gaze. “Will you chase her, my lord, or will you allow your arrogance to sway your decision?”

“So you think you've won,” Sesshoumaru countered. “Be not a fool. I haven't the time to waste on the likes of you, Hisadaicho. Trifle with those under my protection again, and I shall destroy you.”

She watched as Sesshoumaru turned on his heel and descended the staircase. Iwazawa stepped into his path. Sesshoumaru didn't miss a step as he drew his sword and sliced through the resurrected samurai. A blast of light engulfed Iwazawa's body, and Hisadaicho stared in shock as the youkai lord's sword released the seal of Iwazawa's soul.

` _His sword . . . it is a sword of life?_ '

Sesshoumaru dropped the sword back into the scabbard as he strode out the castle doors.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“How's your mouth?”

InuYasha shrugged and shook his head slightly, careful not to move his jaw too much.

Kagome winced. “Do you need anything? I could get you some water, or . . . something . . . ?”

He wrinkled his nose and tried to snort. “Keh. It don't bother me.”

He could tell that she didn't believe him as she bit her bottom lip and suddenly dug into her backpack. He watched as she pulled out her first aid kit and dug around inside. Narrowing his gaze at the small amber glass bottle, he watched with a growing sense of foreboding as Kagome set the kit aside and sat down beside him. “Let me see.”

“I don't think so,” he remarked, eyeing the bottle clenched in her fist.

“This won't hurt. It's medicine. It'll help, I promise.”

He sniffed but couldn't smell anything on the tightly capped bottle. “Keh! I'm fine.”

“You're not fine. You didn't even eat dinner. Stop being stubborn and let me take care of you.”

With a huffy sigh, InuYasha gave in with every bit of ill grace he possessed. Kagome unscrewed the lid and pulled the little swab from the bottle. “Open your mouth.”

Figuring that there really was no way to avoid it, InuYasha finally opened his mouth. Kagome gently pulled his lip out of the way to touch the swab to his raw gum. He jerked away with a sharply indrawn breath and scowled at her. “Damn! That stings!”

Kagome shook her head as she capped the bottle tightly. “Maybe a little. It can't be that bad. Give it a minute. You'll feel much better.”

A strange numbness dulled the pain in his gum but spread to his cheek as well as the side of his tongue. InuYasha stuck his tongue out and tugged it from side to side with his fingers as he tried to look at it without much luck. Letting go with a disgusted snort, the hanyou pinned his mate with a suspicious glare. “What did you do?” he demanded as he shot Kagome an accusing grimace.

Kagome stowed the first aid kit and glanced up at him with a bland expression. “What do you mean?” She straightened up and planted her hands on her hips as she shook her head slowly. “Why are you drooling?”

“Because,” he slurred as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “my whole fucking mouth is numb.”

“It can't be,” she argued. “I only put a little bit on your gum.”

Sucking in more drool, InuYasha shot to his feet and stomped over to the far side of the campsite. “I'm slobbering on myself, wench!” he bellowed as he wiped his mouth again.

“You must be more sensitive to the numbing effects than humans are,” she reasoned calmly. “But it doesn't hurt anymore, does it?”

“Keh! I could chew off the inside of my cheek and not know it, so yeah, I guess not.”

She ducked her head. He had a sneaking suspicion that she was trying not to laugh. “You couldn't, you know. You don't have your fang.”

“Oi! You can't make fun of your mate!”

She waved her hand at him as she dissolved in fits of giggles. “Calm down, InuYasha! I'm not making fun of you! I'm just—”

“Laughing at my—” he paused to suck in more saliva, “—expense.”

Giggling gave way to soft chiming laughter that grated on his nerves nonetheless. With an indignant snort, InuYasha headed for the nearest tree, resolved to ignore his new mate until she apologized or until the effects of the damn medicine wore off.

Kagome kept laughing as she poked around the fire. InuYasha snorted as he wiped his mouth yet again, grimacing at the moisture on his hand.

“Come down here and eat, okay?”

Leaning to the side to peer down through the thatched branches, he stubbornly snorted before turning his nose up to the sky once more. “Keh! I'll pass.”

“All right, I'm sorry I laughed,” she assured him, sounding anything but sorry. “Are you going to stay up there all night?”

“Thinkin' about it.”

Shuffling her feet, Kagome frowned up at him in the semi-darkness. “InuYasha?”

“What?”

“You really should eat something.”

He didn't bother to answer that. Kagome gave up with a soft sigh. He watched as she wandered over to sit on her bedroll. Toying with the fang suspended on a fine silver chain around her neck, she turned in her fingers as a happy smile broke over her features. His heart did a strange flip-flop in his chest as he stared. The smallest things seemed to please her, and he couldn't help but smile just a little as she toyed with the fang.

An overwhelming urge to be closer to her nearly knocked him out of the tree. Forcing his gaze away to look at the night sky, InuYasha stifled a snort as the full moon peeked out from behind a few wispy clouds. ` _Baka . . . you'd be better off to stay in this tree for the night_ ,' he told himself as he unconsciously dug the vial out of his haori and shook it. He made a face as he stowed the bottle away again. ` _Keeping secrets is the same as lying_.'

He knew that. He'd be irritated if Kagome kept something from him, too. He just couldn't bring himself to tell her that the toxin hadn't been broken because of the questions she'd ask. The idea of telling her just what he had dreamed, though, seemed like the lesser of the two evils. ` _But you can't beat Hisadaicho if she looks like Kagome_.'

He wrinkled his nose as his ears drooped. He really would have to find another way, because there wasn't any way he could possibly tell her, couldn't ever ask her to do those things. She was gentle and pure, kind and warm. If he hadn't tainted her by making her his mate, he certainly wasn't going to do anything else that might.

Shifting his gaze to stare thoughtfully at the girl in question, he had to smile as she held the fang in one hand and the Shikon no Tama in the other. There was something completely innocent in her, something he had noticed before. He couldn't begin to fathom just what she might be thinking, but when she let go of the jewel to wrap both of her hands around the fang before she turned her head and lifted her shining eyes to meet his, he had to swallow hard as a fist-sized lump rose in his throat.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he hopped down and strode over to her. She started to ask him what he was doing when he swept her into his arms and bounded back into the tree again. With a contented sigh, she let her head fall against his chest as she stubbornly held onto the fang. “Did the numbing wear off?”

He shrugged. “Keh. I'm not slobbering anymore, if that's what you mean.”

“I'm sorry I laughed at you,” she ventured.

“You're not,” he said mildly.

She didn't deny that. “So I have to wear this forever?” she asked, holding up the fang for InuYasha's inspection.

“Is that a problem?”

“Not at all,” she replied happily.

“Good, because I ain't giving up another fang,” he grumbled.

She was quiet a moment, her brow furrowed with her concentration. “Do you think . . . should we tell Mama?”

He shifted uncomfortably and shrugged again, hoping for an air of nonchalance. “Probably . . . eventually . . .”

She let the fang drop as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “You don't want to tell anyone, do you? At least, not right away.”

He flinched at the caution in her tone. She didn't see it. “It ain't that . . . I'm just not so good at this.”

“But Shippou and Ichisaru will notice, don't you think?” she pointed out reasonably. “Unless you want me to try bribing them?”

InuYasha thought that over. “With what?”

She giggled as she squeezed him. “Pocky always works.”

InuYasha nodded as he tightened his arms around her. “Keh.”

“I'm sorry that it hurt you,” she murmured. “Is your new fang coming in yet?”

Flicking his tongue against the gap in his teeth, InuYasha was pleased to feel the descending fang that was already growing back in. “It'll be in by morning.”

“I'll make it up to you,” she assured him.

“Keh. How do you figure?”

“Oh, I don't know . . . I'll find a way . . . I'll cook you a special dinner the next time I go home,” she offered.

He grinned. “With those crunchy things I like?”

“What crunchy things?”

“You know, that yellow stuff.”

“One of my special omelets?”

“Keh! Those things that are supposed to be crunchy, not that hella nasty omelet-thing.”

Kagome pushed against him to sit up and wrinkle her nose. “What do you mean, nasty omelet-thing? That's my specialty!”

He gave in with a chuckle. “Calm down, wench. I was _teasing_.”

She finally grinned, too. “Baka,” she grumbled as her smile widened, as she settled back against his chest. “You're such a jerk sometimes.”

The fact that her tone held absolutely no real irritation made InuYasha snort as he wrapped his arms around her again. “Go to sleep, wench. You can make me one of your omelet-things when we get back tomorrow, and then I suppose I'll force myself to eat it.”

Kagome shook her head. “. . . Baka.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  Keh! Medicine . . .


	64. Illusions

 

~~ ** _Chapter 64_** ~~  
~ ** _Illusions_** ~

 

“Kagome!”

Kagome stopped mid-stride and caught the kitsune as he barreled into her chest. “Shippou! I missed you, too!”

Shippou hopped onto her shoulder and leaned back to pillage her bag. “Pocky, pocky, pock-k-gome? Why do you smell like you rolled around with InuYasha?”

Shifting her gaze around the clearing, satisfied that InuYasha wasn't around at the moment, Kagome pulled Shippou off her shoulder and sighed as she tried not to blush. “Shippou, InuYasha and I . . . We're . . . we're together, but he's not ready to tell anyone yet. Can you keep it a secret?”

Shippou pondered the question and nodded slowly. “Sure. What about Ichisaru? He'll smell it, too.”

“Ape-shit, would you _not_ do that?”

Kagome looked up in time to see InuYasha stomping out of the forest with Ichisaru on his shoulder. Ichisaru was clinging onto the hanyou's shoulder while InuYasha tried to shake him off. Seeing InuYasha's rising irritation, Kagome clamored to her feet and hurried to intercept the two before InuYasha lost his temper. “What happened?”

Ichisaru sprang over to Kagome's shoulder. “I just said that he smells like you, and he said I had to promise not to tell anyone else.” Glancing fearfully at the hanyou, Ichisaru scampered to Kagome's other shoulder that was marginally further away from InuYasha's wrath.

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! It don't matter if you tell _her!_ ” he growled.

Ichisaru relaxed a little bit.

“What did you do that InuYasha didn't like?”

Ichisaru stared at his feet, a frown furrowing his brow. “I promised I wouldn't tell.”

“He shook his fucking ass at me again, damn it!”

Kagome bit her lip as she struggled not to laugh at the disgruntled hanyou. “That is his way of making a promise,” she pointed out reasonably.

InuYasha made a face. “Whatever, wench. I don't like it.”

“I won't tell; I won't tell!” Ichisaru hollered as he covered his head to protect himself from InuYasha's wrath. “Monkey—”

“Don't fucking do it again!” InuYasha snarled as he lunged for the monkey. Ichisaru squealed and launched himself off Kagome's shoulder as the miko intercepted her mate.

“InuYasha, calm down!”

InuYasha snorted indelicately and adjusted Tetsusaiga on his hip. “Keh! You'd better run, ape-shit, because I'm gonna thump you when I catch you!”

Kagome shook her head as Ichisaru streaked toward the forest trail with Shippou hot on his heels. “I think you made your point. They won't tell.”

He didn't look like he agreed. In the end, he sighed. “Did you . . . tell your mother?” he asked, trying for a neutral tone.

“No . . . I didn't know if you wanted me to, and, well, I didn't know how.”

He nodded, face shifting into a thoughtful frown. “I guess I should go with you, when you tell her.”

InuYasha sounded like he thought that the idea of going with her to tell her mother would be worse than death. Kagome shot him an encouraging smile. “Whenever you're ready.”

With a wince, InuYasha shook his head. “It ain't that, Kagome. What if she . . . I won't let her keep you away from me,” he grumbled, lifting his chin defiantly.

“Do you really think she'd do that?”

He shrugged. “No, because I won't let her.”

Kagome hugged him tight. “She won't, InuYasha. She adores you.”

“Keh.”

“No, really! She does!”

He didn't look like he believed her but he let her take his hand as she dragged him toward the forest trail. “I mean it, wench. If she tries, I'll drag you back through the well so fast it'll make her head spin.”

Kagome leaned against InuYasha's arm. “You're worrying about nothing, you know. Mama loves you.”

“InuYasha! Kagome! You're back!”

Jerking his hand away from Kagome, InuYasha paused to allow more distance between the two of them as Miroku hurried toward them. “Yeah, I already got supplies.”

Miroku nodded as he fell into step beside them. “Have you noticed anything strange with the youkai of late?”

“What do you mean, strange?” InuYasha demanded.

Miroku shrugged, jingling the loops on his Shakuju as they continued along the path. “There's been a bit of unrest of late. Just yesterday one of the outlying villages was attacked by a horde of angry nezumi youkai. Sango and I aided them, but they seemed more agitated than normal.”

Kagome digested that in silence, frowning at the packed dirt path below her feet. “That is odd. I wonder what could cause them to react like that.”

InuYasha snorted as he crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly. “Keh! What does it matter?”

Miroku shook his head. “InuYasha, the last time we saw a resurgence like that was when Naraku went into hiding on Hakureizan.”

“What are you saying?” InuYasha challenged. “Naraku's dead.”

“Of course he's dead. All I'm saying is that it is as though the youkai sense something.”

InuYasha shrugged. “Calm down, monk. I got your back, if you're _scared_.”

Miroku grinned. “Scared, indeed . . .”

“Maybe we should poke around? See if anyone knows anything?” Kagome chimed in. “If the youkai are agitated . . . That doesn't seem right, does it? Do you sense anything, InuYasha?”

“Nope, not a thing,” he assured her.

She didn't miss the fleeting glimpse of worry that clouded his gaze. “If you say so . . .”

“Keh! Bring `em on! I'm itching for a good fight,” InuYasha replied airily, closing his eyes as he lifted his chin in defiance.

“You're so reckless,” Kagome muttered.

InuYasha popped one eye open to gaze at the miko. “Reckless ain't got a thing to do with it, wench. I can take them.”

Kagome grinned as she noticed the sparkle in InuYasha's stare. She couldn't stave back the filtering heat that permeated her cheeks as she quickly looked away.

“Something going on?” Miroku asked cautiously. “Something you want to tell me about . . . ?” Trailing off as his smile dissipated, the monk eyed them speculatively.

“Not a fucking thing,” InuYasha grumbled as he turned his face away to inspect the trees.

Miroku shrugged and heaved an exaggerated sigh. “If you insist . . . keep your secrets, then . . .”

Kagome hid her secretive smile as she resisted the desire to glance over her shoulder at InuYasha. Despite the worry about what might be irritating the youkai, she was hard-pressed not to be in a good mood as she lifted her hand to press InuYasha's fang against her skin, hidden under her blouse.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Striding through the meadow as he searched for the source of the odd sense of unrest on the air, Sesshoumaru's eyes slowly shifted from side to side. His lands were as calm and peaceful as they ever were, and still he couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss.

` _Something . . . something vile is coming to pass_ . . .'

Dragging in a deep breath, he knew there was nothing different about the smells that carried to him, no underlying thing to be discerned. Yet the knowledge that something wasn't right provoked him.

“I thought you'd be out here.”

He didn't turn to acknowledge Kagura as she hopped off her feather and caught it between her fingertips. Falling into step beside him, she gazed around in much the same manner that he had. “Something's happening,” she finally said, her voice tinged with a hint of foreboding. “You feel it, too, don't you?”

Sesshoumaru didn't answer right away as he shifted his gaze to his mate. Walking along in silence, thoughts drifting back to the strained reunion, he wondered once more what she wasn't telling him.

  
_He caught up with her on the outskirts of Hisadaicho's lands, and when he had, Kagura hadn't even been able to look him in the eye_.

“ _Tell me what she meant, Kagura_.”

  
_Kagura hopped off her feather and shook her head. “It's not important_.”

“ _Not important?”_ _he echoed, eyes flaring as he glared at his mate. “Did you go to her willingly?_ ”

  
_Kagura's eyes registered her shock at his question. “No! Never!_ ”

  
_He waited for her to continue. She didn't. Again he noticed the sadness in her gaze, the pain in her eyes, as though something or someone was making her do things that she wanted no part of. The trouble was that he had no idea what it could be, and she wasn't willing to tell him, either. “Kagura, do you trust me?_ ”

  
_She winced at his softly uttered question, head jerking in a tense nod. “Yes_.”

“ _Yet you cannot trust me in this?_ ”

  
_Kagura forced a small smile that never reached her eyes. “I trust you, Sesshoumaru._ _Just . . . trust me, all right?_ ”

  
_He had a feeling that she was asking for more than he could appreciate. Still he nodded and gathered her up to take her home_.

“There is a foul presence on the wind,” he finally said as the memory faded.

“It's an omen, a warning.”

“Perhaps . . . but for whom?”

Kagura lifted her face into the wind, closed her eyes as the wild soothed her. He knew everything about her, and yet he felt as though there were still something she kept from him. ` _What are you plotting, Hisadaicho? And what does it have to do with Kagura?_ '

“Will you search for answers?”

Sesshoumaru turned abruptly, Mokomoko-sama trailing out behind him in the wind. “It matters not. This Sesshoumaru fears nothing.”

The smile that surfaced on Kagura's face this time was genuine. “I didn't think you would.”

Inclining his head toward his mate, the youkai headed back to the castle with Kagura by his side.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“But—”

“No.”

“Listen, I—”

“No.”

“Don't you think—?”

“Keh! No!”

“InuYasha—”

“ _Fuck_ , no.”

Wrinkling her nose at the stubborn hanyou, Kagome nearly stomped her foot in frustration. Arms crossed over his chest, chin lifted arrogantly, he shook his head again to emphasize his point and jerked his head toward the Bone Eater's Well. “Time's wastin', wench.”

She tried to argue with him one last time. “I'm not helpless, you know! I can stay here with Sango.”

“You could, but you're not. Now get moving, will you?”

“I think I liked the arrangement better before we broke the toxin, baka. At least then you couldn't order me back to my own time,” she grumbled as she sat down on the edge of the well, “and you've blown it, pal! See if I make you a special meal!”

She turned to flip her legs over the side of the wall as she hitched her backpack on her shoulders. ` _Wait . . . if she goes back, and I'm gone all night_ _. . ._ _Fuck! The talisman won't work if she's back in her time and I'm here_ _. . ._ ' She didn't see the sudden consternation on InuYasha's face and was ready to drop into the well when he caught her and pulled her back.

“InuYasha?”

He scowled as he set her on her feet and let his arms drop. “Come on.”

She shook her head slowly. “Why the change of heart?”

“Keh! Just come on, wench.”

She grinned suddenly as she threw her arms around his neck to kiss his cheek. “I _knew_ it! You can't stand to be away from me, either!”

His face reddened as he wrinkled his nose. “Kagome—”

“It's all right, InuYasha. No one else is here, right?”

“Well . . . no . . .”

“Admit it. You love having me around.”

“Keh!” he snorted but couldn't help but grin at her. “I _told_ you, I _tolerate_ you.”

She leaned up to kiss him, a soft kiss meant to tell him how happy she was that he wasn't making her go home. The single brush of her lips against his set off a chain reaction absolute fire that culminated in a low moan as he dragged her closer, stifling her gasp as his tongue darted past her lips. Delightful sensation swirled around him, lost in the smell, the feel, the taste of Kagome.

“If we're supposed to keep it a secret, don't you think you should stop doing that?” Shippou grumbled as he hopped up on InuYasha's shoulder.

Kagome sighed as InuYasha jerked back to glare at the kitsune, unmistakable mayhem in his eyes. “Back off, Shippou, or I'll clobber you.”

Shippou chortled happily as he hopped over to Kagome's shoulder. “Does this mean I can come live with you guys now?”

“ _What?_ ” InuYasha growled incredulously. “Keh!”

“We don't have a hut or anything,” Kagome pointed out reasonably. “But I'm sure you can, if we do.”

“Keh!”

“Really? Great!”

Kagome giggled. “But you can't tell anyone yet, all right?”

Shippou nodded enthusiastically. “Can I still sleep with you, Kagome?”

“Well . . .”

“Oi! What about me? Don't I get a say in this?” InuYasha grumped.

“You don't mind, do you?” Kagome asked, turning the wide-eyed innocent look on him.

InuYasha stifled a groan. “Keh. Whatever.”

Shippou hopped down and streaked back toward the forest once more. “Miroku is ready when you are!” he called over his shoulder.

Kagome giggled as the kitsune disappeared into the forest again. “Kagome . . .”

“He just wants a home, InuYasha, like you do.”

InuYasha shook his head slowly as he walked with Kagome toward the forest trail. He hadn't really thought of it that way. Still there wasn't any way in hell he was going to allow Shippou to sleep with Kagome, and he didn't care how much Kagome batted her eyelashes at him. There were some things he wasn't willing to negotiate, and that was a big one.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Shakuju:** Miroku's weapon (staff)  
>  **Nezumi:** rat.  
>  **Hakureizan** _(Mount Hakurei):_ white, spirit-power, mountain … Hakureizan was the birthplace of Naraku's third form.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  …Shippou…  
> ==========


	65. Blood Test

 

~~ ** _Chapter 65_** ~~  
~ ** _Blood Test_** ~

 

“I can't believe he left me behind!” Kagome fumed as she yanked a weed out of Sango's fledgling vegetable garden. InuYasha and Miroku had been gone for three days now, and she really had no idea when he'd be back. “First he says I should go home, then he says I should stay, _then_ he says that I'm not coming with him? Baka!”

Sango judiciously hid her smile as she adjusted Marisaiko's bonnet. “It shouldn't take them long,” she offered, trying to console the irritated miko.

Kagome turned her head to the side just in time to avoid a shower of dirt as she tugged a particularly stubborn weed loose. “He just doesn't make sense, ever. I swear he's trying to drive me crazy.”

“I'm sure he had his reasons for not wanting you to go with him,” Sango replied. “Maybe he thinks it'd be too dangerous.”

“I've been in more dangerous situations with him, like battling Naraku,” Kagome pointed out. “He's just being . . . InuYasha.”

“It is strange, though,” Sango agreed. “Normally he doesn't let you out of his sight.”

Kagome shrugged. “Maybe he thinks I'll be okay here.”

Marisaiko fussed quietly in her little basket. Sango lifted her out as the infant sucked on her fist hungrily. “Kagome? Can you hold her while I go get her bottle?”

Kagome hopped up and brushed off her hands. “I'll get it.” Running inside the hut, she quickly washed her hands before dumping powdered formula into a plastic bottle with enough water to shake it before adding enough water to fill the bottle. By the time she ran back outside, Marisaiko was red in the face and screeching, her tiny body stiff as she wound up for an all-out temper tantrum.

Quickly handing over the bottle, Kagome knelt beside Sango and watched with a smile as Marisaiko stopped crying as quickly as she started. Catching the smile on Kagome's face, Sango grinned. “Would you like to feed her, Kagome?”

Her smile faded as she shrugged. “It's fine, Sango. I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to interfere. Besides, she's happy where she is, with her mama.”

Sango nodded slowly. “I trust you with her. I'm so ashamed of what I thought . . .”

Kagome waved off Sango's concern. “She'll always be special to me, Sango. I understand. I'd probably worry, too, if I were you.”

“It was unfair to you. I know you're not like that, Kagome.”

Kagome waved off Sango's concern as she dug into her backpack and pulled out a tube of Chap Stick. She smeared it on her lip and held the tube out. Sango leaned forward and let Kagome apply it while Marisaiko continued her meal. “Do you think they'll find any answers?”

Kagome shrugged as she dropped the Chap Stick back into her bag. “I don't know, but I'm surprised InuYasha didn't want to go right after Hisadaicho again . . .”

“But he still sees her as you, doesn't he? He can't touch her, so long as she hides behind her toxin, can he?”

Kagome's back stiffened for a moment as she realized what she'd almost admitted. Sango didn't notice Kagome's discomfort. “Maybe he can beat her now,” Kagome hedged.

“Really? Does he have a new plan of attack?”

“Uh . . . sure . . . something like that.”

Sango turned her head to stare at Kagome with a slight frown. “Kagome? You sound strange.”

“Strange?” Kagome echoed. “Me?”

Sango's suspicious look darkened even more. “Is something the matter?”

Kagome checked her watch and forced a laugh. “Oh, look at the time! Can you believe it? I totally forgot that I promised Mama I'd, umm . . . have dinner with the family tonight! Gotta run! Bye, Sango!” she called, waving over her shoulder as she ran toward the forest trail.

` _That was close . . . I almost slipped!_ '

Dropping to a walk, Kagome shook her head. She could understand how difficult it was for him to admit that they were together since he'd lived most of his life alone. Reluctant for the teasing that he would probably get from Miroku as well as the idea that he'd spent the better portion of his life as a cast-out, Kagome couldn't really blame him for that. What bothered her, though, was that he'd left her here with Sango. The youkai exterminator was one of the most perceptive people Kagome knew. If she stayed here, it'd be only a matter of time before Sango knew the entire story, and then InuYasha would have no one to blame but himself. Kagome wrinkled her nose as she strode along the sun-dappled path. ` _Fine, then, InuYasha. I'll just go home and wait there_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“ _Sankon-tetsusou!_ ”

Claws ripping through the air, InuYasha ripped through a horde of rat youkai as Miroku unleashed a handful of Ofuda. The rats screeched as the papers struck them, dissolving the rats in flashes of light.

InuYasha landed in a squat and slowly stood up. “Keh! Pathetic.”

Miroku lifted his hand perpendicular to his face and bowed his head in a silent moment of prayer. “They were quite weak.”

“I meant you and your fucking papers,” InuYasha grumbled as he stared at the scattered remains of the rats. “If you can't learn how to use a real weapon, what good are you?”

“I am but a simple man, InuYasha, and monks are not encouraged to learn such skills.”

“You ain't a monk any more,” InuYasha pointed out.

“True, true . . . however, just because I am not a practicing monk doesn't mean that I should turn away from the teachings.”

InuYasha shook his head. “Useless.”

Miroku laughed. “Not entirely.”

Though he looked like he wanted to argue, the hanyou snorted instead. “Anyway, I don't get it. Those rats seemed like they're running away from something.”

“Yes, they did.” Miroku nodded slowly as he jammed the end of his Shakuju into the ground and adjusted the rosary beads he still wore over his hand.

InuYasha frowned as he watched the monk's action. “Why do you still wear that? The kazaana disappeared long ago.”

Miroku shrugged and grinned sheepishly as he pulled the beads off his hand to let the glove fall open and stared at the unblemished flesh. “Habit, I suppose . . . a reminder of the things I might never have had.”

Nodding slowly, InuYasha kicked the corpse of a dead rat youkai. The kazaana had been a part of Miroku for so long he probably had trouble remembering that it wasn't there anymore. “Come on, monk. I want to get back to the village before dark.”

Miroku jerked the Shakuju out of the earth and fell into step beside InuYasha. “You miss her that much, do you?”

“Keh. I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Right, InuYasha. Keep telling yourself that.”

“Shut up, monk.”

Miroku laughed. “Ah, InuYasha, you bring such amusement to my life.”

“You're such a pain in my ass,” InuYasha growled.

The ex-monk suddenly turned serious as he glanced back at the slain youkai, corpses already shriveling in the sunshine. “If it were one or two incidences, it wouldn't be so strange,” he remarked as they kept walking. “This resurgence of youkai is just . . . it doesn't seem right.”

InuYasha nodded his agreement. Even the rats they'd just taken care of had seemed rushed, as though they were simply trying to get out of the way of something far more menacing.

They had given up their effort to figure out why the youkai were behaving so strangely. None of the people in the outlying villages had any idea what was going on with the youkai, though they all claimed that there had been quite a few incidences in the past week. The headman in one of the villages asked that they bring Kagome to purify the area in hopes that the youkai would bypass them.

InuYasha snorted, voicing his doubt over the headman's request. “Keh. Is it even possible to purify the area? Barriers, maybe, but what he's asking . . .”

Miroku shrugged. “She might be able to do it. She may be untrained but she is probably the most powerful miko alive. If anyone could do it, she could.”

For some reason, that didn't sit well with InuYasha at all.

Walking in silence awhile longer, InuYasha scowled. ` _Kagome might be that strong spiritually, but . . . but that don't explain why the youkai are acting like that, like they know something's gonna happen . . . but what?_ ' He shook his head as he glanced up at the sky, sniffing the air as the undercurrent of something dark seeped into his conscious again.

Miroku noticed and narrowed his eyes as he watched InuYasha's reactions. “Something bothering you?”

InuYasha shook his head. “Nope.” Jamming his hands up his sleeves, he walked along, staring at the ground with a thoughtful frown. A sudden sense of emptiness swept through him, and InuYasha stopped. It felt as though a part of him had become unreachable, as though it had completely disappeared.

“InuYasha?”

Golden eyes flaring wide as absolute understanding swept over him, InuYasha lengthened his stride. He didn't like the distance, not one little bit. ` _What the . . . ? Kagome . . . ? Why do I feel like Kagome is . . . gone?_ '

“InuYasha?”

Jerked out of his reverie as Miroku gripped the hanyou's shoulder, InuYasha shifted his gaze to the monk and winced inwardly at the open concern in his friend's face. “What?” he grumbled.

Miroku's brow furrowed as he stared at InuYasha. “Is something wrong?”

InuYasha shrugged off Miroku's hand and started walking again. “Ain't nothing,” he growled. Glancing down, he made a face when he saw the talisman hanging on the outside of his haori. Quickly tucking it away, he shook his head as he stubbornly ignored Miroku's questioning looks.

Remembering Kagome's happy outburst by the well, he stifled a sigh. At the time he'd been thinking that she'd be safer in her own time, and that was the reason he wanted her to go. He had felt the underlying threat in the air, too, and though he didn't know why, his instincts had demanded that Kagome was not safe. He couldn't bring himself to give voice to the worries that cut him deep. The danger that he sensed, the warning in the wind . . . something was coming, and it wanted Kagome.

` _Over my fucking dead body_ ,' InuYasha thought with an inward snort. ` _Nothing will touch her, not while I'm alive_ . . .'

The fleeting memory of her sparkling eyes as she launched herself into his arms nearly made him groan. She'd been so thrilled by the idea that he didn't want her to go back to her time, and he had to admit that her happiness made him happy, too. ` _Admit it. You love having me around_.'

He sighed. Yeah, he loved having her around. He also loved knowing that she was safe, and that was the main reason he'd thought to send her home, in the first place—until she mentioned breaking the toxin. With her reminder had come the one thing he'd forgotten. Kagome _couldn't_ go home, not without the talisman being rendered ineffective. That was the reason he'd kept her from going back. That was the reason he'd stopped her. That she believed that he just didn't want to be away from her . . . He sighed. True enough, he didn't like it when she was out of his sight. The need to keep her safe, though, was far more important than his own feelings of inadequacy that maybe this time, he wouldn't be able to see to her protection.

He wrinkled his nose. ` _Keh! I'll keep her safe, damn it. She's my mate, my responsibility . . . and I'll find a way to get rid of the toxin, too_ . . .'

Trouble was, he wasn't sure how long he could keep the truth about the toxin from her. She wasn't stupid. Eventually she'd figure out that he was still forced to shake the vial every night, and when she did . . . Damn it. He didn't even want to _think_ about her reaction to that . . .

“You know, InuYasha, if something is troubling you, it's better to get it off your chest than to keep it all inside,” Miroku prodded.

“Keh!”

“It's like this every time,” he pointed out. “I ask you what's wrong, you tell me it's nothing; I press the issue, you get irritated; I say something wise, and you break down and tell me anyway. Why don't we just cut out that middle portion, and you can tell me what's bothering you then?”

InuYasha made a face at Miroku's much-too-accurate assessment. “That ain't how it goes! You annoy the fuck out of me, I tell you to shut the hell up; you say you're sorry when you ain't, I try to beat the shit out of you; you hide behind Kagome, I try to kill you.”

“And then Kagome `osuwari's you . . . or at least she used to.”

“Keh. Bet you miss that, huh, lecher?”

“Not nearly as much as I think you might.”

“And what the hell does _that_ mean?”

“Are we still in the `beat the shit out of me' phase?”

“We're moving on,” InuYasha snorted.

Miroku grinned. “Do I really have to prod the truth out of you?”

“Keh!”

Miroku heaved an exaggerated sigh. “You're far more forthcoming with things when you're angry.”

InuYasha pinned Miroku with a furious glare. “We'll see how `forthcoming' I am when I've got you on the sharp end of Tetsusaiga, monk.”

“If you slice me up, you can't hear my pearls of wisdom, and you know you want to,” Miroku quipped.

“Keh! About as much as I'd love to move in with Sesshoumaru.”

“I hear the Western Lands are beautiful this time of year.”

InuYasha cracked his knuckles as a warning that Miroku was pushing his luck. “Go to hell, monk, _straight_ to hell.”

Miroku chuckled and shook his head slowly. “All right, InuYasha, you win. What _is_ on your mind?”

InuYasha made a face. “Nothin'.”

“Lying is a sin,” Miroku pointed out, “and withholding information is the same as lying.”

InuYasha winced at Miroku's shocking accuracy, even if he was talking about something completely different.

Miroku, unfortunately, was too perceptive not to notice InuYasha's reaction. “I see.”

InuYasha's face shifted into a disgusted frown. “You ever . . . keep anything from Sango?”

“Like . . . _lie_ to her?”

InuYasha flinched and shot Miroku a fulminating glare. “Not lie, damn it, just not _tell_ her something.”

Miroku thought it over and shrugged. “Sure, if it's nothing important.”

“How do you know what's important?”

Miroku grinned. “That's easy. If it affects her, then it's important. If it's just, say, whether or not you should put your right foot into your hakama before your left, then not so important.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. That's stupid.”

“Of course it is. Women tend to stand on honesty, though.” Flicking some dirt off the sleeve of his robes, Miroku sighed as he turned his face skyward, closing one eye as he shielded his gaze from the afternoon sunshine. “Anything in particular you're keeping from Kagome?”

“Who said I was keeping anything from her?”

Miroku's glance told InuYasha plainly that the monk wasn't buying it. “Why else would you be asking?”

InuYasha didn't answer. As far as he was concerned, he'd said enough.

` _Everything? Damn . . . I can't tell her_ _. . ._ _She'll think I'm some sort of freak or something_ . . .' He felt his ears droop. No, there really wasn't any way he could tell her.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Mama! I'm back!”

Mrs. Higurashi popped her head out of the kitchen to smile at her daughter. Kagome dropped her backpack onto the floor beside the door and stretched. “Welcome home, dear. I was just getting ready to step out for a bit.”

“Oh? Where are you going?”

Mrs. Higurashi pulled on her shoes. “I was heading down to donate blood. It's been all over the news. There's an emergency blood shortage. One of the blood banks caught fire, and the reserves were lost.”

Kagome frowned. “That's too bad. Maybe I should go, too.”

Mrs. Higurashi nodded. “That'd be helpful. They need all the types, from what they've said.” She glanced past Kagome toward the back door. “InuYasha didn't come with you?”

“Nope. He and Miroku are trying to figure out why some of the lesser-youkai seem agitated lately. I'll leave him a note though, in case he does come.”

Scribbling a quick explanation as to where she was going, Kagome left the note in the middle of the kitchen table and set a cup of ramen atop it. ` _He can't miss that_ ,' she thought with a little grin as she hurried back to the foyer where Mrs. Higurashi was waiting.

The trip to the donation center was uneventful. It was a nice change of pace from the more guarded feeling of Sengoku Jidai. All in all, Kagome was a lot more relaxed by the time they reached the center, and she filled out the questionnaire without incident.

“Higurashi Kagome?” the nurse asked as she read Kagome's form. Kagome stood up and followed the older woman back to a small cubicle. “Have a seat.”

“You've just turned twenty, correct?”

Kagome nodded. “Yes.”

“You left the space for your occupation blank.”

“Is that a problem?” Kagome asked as she tried to think of something she could have written down. She didn't really have an occupation since she didn't figure that protector of the Shikon no Tama would get her far . . .

“No, not a problem at all. Still trying to decide what you want to do with your life?” the nurse asked with a small smile. “There are so many options available to women your age. I envy you.”

“Something like that,” Kagome answered.

“I'm sure there's no rush,” the nurse agreed as she finished looking at Kagome's form. “And you've not traveled outside Japan in the last few months?”

She shook her head. “Uh, no . . .”

The nurse nodded as she scrawled some things onto the paper and pushed her glasses up her nose. “All right . . . Higurashi-san, just a few more questions. Are you sexually active?”

“N—yes,” Kagome answered as her cheeks pinked. Her automatic answer was `no', or at least, it had been . . .

The nurse shot her a quizzical look. Kagome tried to smile as he face reddened a little more. “Well, I wasn't, until recently.”

“I see . . . and your sexual partner . . . was he born before 1977?”

Kagome nearly choked. “Y-yes.” ` _About five hundred years before that_ . . .'

“And have either of you had occasion to believe you'd been exposed to any sexually transmitted diseases?”

Praying her face wasn't as red as she thought it might be, Kagome tried for a neutral tone as she answered, “Uh, no . . . he and I . . . we . . . it was the . . . first time . . . for both of us.”

“Oh, that's so sweet! Are you engaged?” the nurse asked with a smile.

“Uh . . . sort of . . . I guess . . .”

The nurse nodded as she let the pen drop onto the small table. “All right, then. Give me your hand, please.”

Kagome did as she was instructed as the nurse pulled a small pen-like lancet device off her worktable and took Kagome's hand, squeezing the tip of her index finger gently. “Everything looks in order on your paperwork. I'll have to see some identification, but I'll get the blood test going before I do that, okay?”

Kagome nodded and winced as the lancet pricked her fingertip.

“I must say, it's so nice to see a girl your age donating blood. Kids nowadays just aren't as responsible as they used to be . . .”

Looking away as the nurse squeezed Kagome's finger to produce enough blood for the sample, she didn't answer.

“Okay, if you can get your identification out, I'll check this and be right back.”

Kagome dug her school ID card from her pocket and tapped it nervously against her chin. Still flushed from the nurse's line of questioning, she waited in the quiet cubicle, hoping that her mother wasn't in the one beside her and therefore hadn't heard the answers to the questions. Finding out about her and InuYasha in the middle of donating blood wasn't exactly what Kagome had in mind.

It seemed to Kagome that the nurse was taking an awfully long time in returning. Checking her watch, she willed herself to be patient, but the longer it took for the nurse to return, the more restless Kagome became. Her mother had said that they just checked to make sure she had enough red blood cells for the donation and to discern her blood type. There weren't that many other people here, and Kagome was starting to wonder what was taking so long when a very tall man in a white lab coat pushed the curtain aside and stepped into the cubicle.

“Higurashi-san,” he greeted as he sank down on the stool the nurse had vacated. “My name is Dr. Yukino Amata. I screen the applicants here.”

Kagome frowned as an inexplicable panic welled up inside her. “Was there something wrong with my blood?”

He shook his head as he shrugged. “Nothing . . . bad . . . just perhaps not something you realized. Your form said you are sexually active?”

Kagome's eyes widened as her face shot up in flames. It was one thing to tell the nurse. It was something completely different to admit as much to the strange man. “Y-yes,” she forced herself to say.

Dr. Yukino nodded, kind brown eyes bright, quick as he stared at her in a friendly, albeit curious sort of way. “And is there anything . . . _remarkable_ . . . about this . . . partner of yours? Something you didn't specify during questioning?”

Why did Kagome have the feeling that this doctor somehow knew about InuYasha and about what InuYasha was? She swallowed hard as she willed her blush to go away. It didn't. “Remarkable?” she echoed as she tried to find a way out of this line of questioning. “I . . . uh . . .”

“He's youkai, ne?”

Kagome gasped. “How . . . ?”

Dr. Yukino chuckled. “I am one, myself.”

She blinked in surprise. She hadn't realized that youkai existed in her time, and then to be face to face with one . . . “I don't understand. How did you know?”

“When we take a mate—especially a human mate—certain things happen. Our blood fuses, thus offering the human a bit more resilience and many of our own immunities . . . and certain things happen to your blood in the process. You cannot donate blood for human use. I'm surprised your mate didn't tell you this.”

She shook her head as she tried to understand what Dr. Yukino was telling her. “I don't think he knew . . . and I didn't tell him I was coming here.”

Staring at her with a thoughtful frown, Dr. Yukino leaned forward and hooked his human-looking finger under the delicate silver chains around her neck to drag out both InuYasha's fang as well as the Shikon no Tama. “The Sacred Jewel of Four Souls . . . so it does still exist?”

She nodded as she quickly jerked the jewel out of the youkai's hand. “I protect it.”

“Then you're the miko of legend . . . and your mate . . . he's the hanyou . . . ?”

“Miko of legend?”

Dr. Yukino waved a hand dismissively. “Of course you are. Your scent is that of the house of the Inu no Taisho.”

“Sesshoumaru?”

“Not him, per se, but I can tell that your mate is related. Brother?”

“Half, yes.”

He nodded. “So the legends are true. I'm honored to meet you, Higurashi-san. Please understand that it is simply a better idea if you do not seek to donate blood, and I would advise you to find a reliable youkai doctor, as well.”

She watched in dumbstruck amazement as the youkai stood and formally bowed to her as he backed out of the cubicle.

Shoving her ID back into her pocket as she stepped out of the cubicle, she shook her head. It seemed that everything in her life was getting more and more complicated by the second.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Sankon-tetsusou:** Iron Reaver, Soul Stealer.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  What next? Altered DNA???  
> ==========


	66. Strain

 

~~ ** _Chapter 66_** ~~  
~ ** _Strain_** ~

 

“Where the hell have you been?”

Kagome smothered a gasp as InuYasha dropped out of Goshinboku directly in front of her. “I left you a note,” she pointed out as she tried to keep her heart from hammering wildly in her chest. “Didn't you find it?”

He countered her question with one of his own as he followed her into the shrine. “What the fuck is donating blood? I don't think I like the sound of that.”

She rolled her eyes. “It's a perfectly safe procedure. You donate blood so that there's enough to help people who lose theirs in accidents and stuff. Anyway,” she said, stealing a glance to make sure her mother wasn't within earshot as she lowered her voice, “I can't do it.”

“Why not?” he demanded despite the evident relief in his expression.

She fought down the urge to blush and shook her head at the belligerence in his tone. Torn between obvious relief that she hadn't sacrificed any of her blood yet seemingly annoyed that she might have been found undesirable, the hanyou looked like neither emotion was sitting well with him. “Because of _you_ , InuYasha.”

“And just how do you figure that?”

Glancing back over her shoulder again, Kagome wrinkled her nose and shoved InuYasha's shoulder to steer him back out of the shrine toward Goshinboku.

“Oi, wench!” he blustered as he stumbled.

Satisfied that they weren't going to be overheard, Kagome let her hands drop and sighed. “Our blood . . . mixed—”

“ _Mixed?_ What the hell does that mean?”

Wrinkling her nose at his escalating tirade, she waved one hand to cut him off as she hissed out “Shh!”

“You can't shush me, wench!” he ranted.

“Then listen to me, all right?”

His expression shifted into `The Pout' once more. “Keh! Fine.”

Satisfied that he'd listen—at least for the moment—Kagome shook her head slowly as she tried to explain. “I don't have . . . human blood anymore, at least not _normal_ human blood.”

Eyebrows furrowing in complete confusion, he glowered at her as she shifted from one foot to the other and back again. Eyeing her for another cautious moment, InuYasha leaned forward and sniffed her hair. “You _smell_ human, wench.”

Kagome narrowed her gaze on him, convinced he was being obtuse on purpose. “I _am_ human! There's just something . . . _weird_ . . . about my blood now, is all.”

He shook his head. “I still don't get it.”

“I don't either, exactly. The doctor said that my blood can't be used in humans. He . . . he was youkai.”

That perked InuYasha's interest. “How do you know? Did you sense him?”

Kagome squeaked out a tiny gasp as InuYasha grabbed her and leapt into Goshinboku. “You ought to warn me before you do that, dog-boy,” she remarked dryly.

“Don't ignore the question,” he told her. “How did you know this guy was youkai?”

Kagome made a face. “He told me, that's how.”

“He just told you?”

“Yes, but . . .” Kagome trailed off, shaking her head as she tried to figure out how to phrase her concern. Maybe in this case the direct approach would be best. Even so, she sighed and shook her head slowly. “InuYasha, I think I should tell Mama. I can understand if you're not ready to tell anyone else, but . . .” she shrugged, “I should tell her before she finds out some other way.”

He didn't look like he wanted to agree. He actually looked like he was considering arguing with her. Wrinkling his nose in an irritated show of belligerence, he lifted his chin and snorted. “Keh. Whatever.”

Kagome shook her head slowly and turned to cast him a suspicious stare. “So . . . want to tell me why you left me behind when I thought you'd decided to take me with you?”

A fleeting glimpse of discomfort surfaced on his features before he managed to hide it again. “Dunno what you're talking about. It weren't a big deal. Didn't find out anything, anyway.”

“So why didn't you just send me home, like you thought you were going to do?”

He shrugged. “I thought you didn't want to go, is all. Ain't more to it than that.”

Her eyebrows arched as she pressed her lips together in a tight line. “All right, InuYasha, have it your way. Be stubborn, I don't care. Can I get down now? Mama wanted me to help her with dinner.”

“Oi! Is that the kind of greeting I get? You haven't seen me for days, and all you can say is you want to help your mother?” InuYasha growled.

“You're the one who ambushed me, dog-boy, and then you won't even tell me the truth, so yes, that's exactly the kind of greeting you get!”

He clamped his mouth closed on whatever retort he had formed as he laid his ears back and scowled. “Keh! See if I ever hurry back to see you then, wench!” he fumed as he grabbed her and hopped back down.

He let her go, shoving his arms together in the sleeves of his haori as he turned to stomp back toward the well house. Kagome watched him for a moment before darting around him, stopping him with her hands on his chest. “Did you? Did you really?”

Expression still mid-pout, InuYasha shrugged. “Did I what?”

She smiled hopefully. “Did you hurry back? Just to see me?”

He blushed. “. . . Maybe.”

“Really?”

He shrugged again. “Can't remember.”

She toyed with the locks of silvery hair hanging beside his face, twisting them around her fingers as InuYasha watched her. “That's too bad because after I was finished being annoyed with you for leaving me behind, I missed you . . .”

“. . . You did?”

Nodding slowly as she stared at her fingers, Kagome heaved a sigh. “But if you really want to go back without me, I can't stop you . . .”

“. . . I could stay . . . I guess.”

She tried not to smile. “I'm glad.”

“How glad?”

Her gaze rose first, locking with his as she felt her belly turn over and over in a wholly delicious way. Untangling her fingers from his hair, she braced herself on his shoulders and rose up on tiptoe to press her lips to his. An instant combustion shot through her, flowing from the singular touch straight to her belly as her knees buckled. InuYasha caught her, held her, sighed against her lips as his body relaxed. As though the time apart had taken as great a toll on him as it had on her, his youki changed, shifted, gentled, mingled with her aura into a hazy warmth, a safe haven.

The flame settled into a softer burn, the peace of being with him overpowering, humbling. A fierce desire to shelter him flowed in her; a need to protect the vulnerable part of him that he struggled so hard to hide. He caressed her back through the thin cotton blouse, a tender touch meant to reassure her, an idle expression of his hesitant sense of security.

The late spring breeze blew his hair against her cheek in tickling strokes, forced a giggle from her despite her effort to ignore it. Letting her head fall back as she laughed, Kagome couldn't help herself as the slightly frustrated hanyou sighed.

InuYasha hugged her until she leaned her cheek against his chest, her face still bright with her smile as she closed her eyes for a moment to savor the feel of absolute protection. “I want to feel like this forever,” she murmured.

He didn't answer but when he tightened his arms around her, she knew he felt the same way. “So about this dinner your mother's making . . .”

She grinned. “Would you like to stay?”

“Think you're gonna get rid of me?”

“Wouldn't dream of it.”

InuYasha's eyes were bright with his amusement though he didn't smile. “When did you want to tell your mother?”

She winced inwardly at his defeated tone. “I thought we could wait until tomorrow. Souta's home now, and Grandpa's reading the newspaper, and I'd rather . . . I think it'd be best to tell her without everyone around.”

He seemed a little more relaxed with the unexpected reprieve, no matter how brief.

“Kagome! Telephone!” Mrs. Higurashi called as she stuck her head out the back door. “InuYasha! What a pleasant surprise! Will you be staying for dinner?”

InuYasha jerked away from Kagome the moment he heard her mother's voice. Kagome covered her mouth to hide her smile as his cheeks pinked. He nodded tersely. “Yes . . . please.”

Eyes widening, Kagome couldn't contain her giggle brought on by InuYasha's stilted manners.

His reward was Mrs. Higurashi's gentle smile. “Will you be staying the night, as well?”

InuYasha's blush darkened as he suddenly coughed. “I can, uh, sleep in Goshinboku . . .”

Mrs. Higurashi waved that off. “Nonsense. You can stay in the house, like you always do when you're here.”

Kagome couldn't help the matching flush that stole up her cheeks as she quickly darted past her mother into the house. Praying that Mrs. Higurashi hadn't noticed, Kagome ran into the kitchen and grabbed the phone. “Hello?”

“Kagome? Hello, this is Kagura.”

Kagome nearly dropped the phone. “K-Kagura? Hi . . .”

Kagura chuckled. “Sesshoumaru wanted to see you and InuYasha, if you've got time?”

“Oh, umm . . . okay,” Kagome agreed slowly as she leaned around the kitchen doorway to see if InuYasha was inside yet. He was just coming through the back door with her mother. She winced. ` _He's not going to like this_ . . .'

“I'm sorry for the abruptness of our request,” Kagura went on, ignoring the reluctance in Kagome's tone. “Sesshoumaru was a bit worried. He got a call from Dr. Yukino, and, well, he thought he ought to tell you both a few things.”

` _What happened to doctor-patient confidentiality?_ ' Kagome thought with a scowl. She rubbed her forehead as the start of a headache prodded her. “Okay.”

“Would you like for us to send Jaken for you?”

Kagome rubbed harder as the prod blossomed into a dull thumping in her head. “No, it's fine. I'm sure InuYasha can find it again . . .”

“All right then . . . we'll see you in, say, half an hour?”

Kagome bit back a groan as InuYasha stomped into the kitchen, ears twitching and the expression on his face stating quite plainly that he knew who was on the phone and that his compliance was not a sure thing at all. “Better make that an hour,” she replied before she hung up. Holding her hands up to stave off his tirade before he began, Kagome waved quickly and blurted, “She said there are things they need to tell us.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! Like what? How to be a bastard in ten minutes or less?”

“I don't know; she didn't say. I think we should go hear them out.”

“What?”

“Come on, InuYasha. What if it's important? He was pleasant enough the last time we went there.”

InuYasha rolled his eyes. “Pleasant?”

“Well . . . he wasn't . . . rude . . .”

“Keh! No fucking way.”

Kagome shook her head and pushed past InuYasha to retrieve her shoes. “Fine, I'll go alone.”

“The hell you will, wench!” he yelled as he followed her.

Kagome sat down on the bottom step and tugged on her shoes, sparing InuYasha a quick glance as she shook her head. “Remember what I told you? When you first got here?”

InuYasha snorted.

Kagome took that to mean he was listening, and she sighed. “Sesshoumaru knows.”

Golden eyes flaring in alarm, InuYasha forced himself to ask, “How?”

“I'll tell you on the way.”

“. . . Damn it.”

Kagome let out her breath in a long exhalation, satisfied that he was going to go with her. She stood up and brushed off her skirt as she glanced in the mirror. Satisfied with her reflection, she grabbed InuYasha's red-and-blue baseball cap and propelled him toward the front door with one hand as she jammed the hat down over his ears with the other.  “Mama, InuYasha and I have to run an errand!” she called back toward the living room. “We'll be back for dinner!”

“All right,” Mrs. Higurashi called back. “Be careful!”

Kagome grabbed InuYasha's hand and dragged him out the front door.

“Start talking, wench,” InuYasha demanded as he jammed his hands together under his sleeves.

“Dr. Yukino called Sesshoumaru about my blood test, and Kagura said there are a few things that they wanted to tell us.”

InuYasha made a face as they descended the shrine steps to the sidewalk. “Damn it. What business is it of his?”

Kagome shook her head as she pushed the pedestrian button at the crosswalk. “Well, none, really, but . . . what if it's something important? Something else we don't know.”

“Keh. He'd better talk fast, then, because I ain't staying there any longer than I have to.”

Kagome frowned as she and InuYasha crossed the street and kept walking. “Dr. Yukino said something else that was a little . . . strange.”

“Oh, yeah? What?”

“He said I was the `Miko of Legend'. What could he have meant?”

InuYasha snorted. “That's easy. We killed Naraku, remember? That's gotta be it.”

Kagome nodded slowly. “Maybe,” she agreed. Why did she have the feeling that it wasn't as simple as that?

“Speaking of weird stuff,” InuYasha commented as they turned the corner. “One of the villages wants you to purify the grounds.”

Kagome glanced quickly at him to see if he was being serious. He looked serious . . . She laughed suddenly. “I can't do that! It's not possible to purify land . . . is it?”

InuYasha shrugged. “Miroku thinks that if anyone would be able to, it'd be you.”

Kagome wasn't convinced. “I can't even make a barrier, InuYasha. I certainly can't purify land.”

“Yeah, well, I told Miroku you couldn't do it.”

She shot him an indignant scowl. “You don't think I can do it?”

He snorted. “Keh. You're just a pathetic human, remember, Kagome?”

Her mouth fell open as she gaped at her mate. “Pathetic human? I can't _believe_ you went there, dog-boy!”

“Yeah, yeah. Some `Miko of Legend' you are.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“A real `Miko of Legend' would at least _try_ it, but if you're too scared of failing . . .”

She huffed in righteous annoyance. “You might think I'm pathetic and weak, but I'll have you know I'm strong enough! I could do it!”

“Could not!” InuYasha scoffed.

“I could, just to spite _you!_ ”

She could feel InuYasha's gaze on her though she didn't look to verify it. He suddenly seemed pensive, quiet. “Well, if you are the `Miko of Legend' then I suppose it shouldn't be a big deal.”

“Do you think . . . I can do it?”

He sighed. “I think you should try.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha**  
>  Miko of Legend ...?


	67. Family Ties

 

~~ ** _Chapter 67_** ~~  
~ ** _Family Ties_** ~

 

“How could you be so foolish, InuYasha?”

InuYasha glowered at his brother with a fierce scowl. “Don't be stupid! Do you really think I told her to go donate blood?”

“Yet you did not tell her what would happen once you mated her?” Sesshoumaru countered.

“How was I supposed to know that? No one told me anything, bastard. `Course, _you_ wouldn't know that, would you, since you weren't around, either.”

Sesshoumaru nodded slowly as he tapped his fingertips on the arm of his chair. “As true as that might be, had the wrong people discovered this about your miko, the trouble that might have been incurred could have been catastrophic.”

InuYasha snorted, cracking his knuckles as he gritted his teeth in an angry snarl. “Keh! I'll tell you once more. How was I supposed to know something that no one ever _told_ me, and how could I have stopped her from doing something I had no idea was even done?”

Sesshoumaru's bored gaze pierced through his half-brother. “And should she require medical attention in this time, InuYasha? Human blood is toxic to her now. If she were given human blood for any reason, it would not help her. In some cases, the human has been known to die. That is the choice you made for her.”

“Are you saying she's not human?” InuYasha growled incredulously.

Sesshoumaru shrugged. “Of course not, baka. She is human. She simply has an ignorant mate.”

“Damn you—”

“Kagura will help her find a suitable doctor. I trust you'll understand the need for such precautions.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! And why the hell should we trust you?”

Sesshoumaru regarded his half-brother for several moments, a vague frown furrowing his brow, darkening his amber eyes to a topaz hue. “It's simple, InuYasha. There is no one else in this time that you can trust. I win the . . . dubious honor . . . by default.”

Scowling at the trace sneer on Sesshoumaru's face, InuYasha stood abruptly and headed for the doorway to locate Kagome in Sesshoumaru's stiflingly pretentious house. “Keh. Whatever.”

.Sesshoumaru's voice stopped them. “InuYasha, be not a fool. Would you take such a chance with the life of your mate?”

“What the fuck does it matter to you?”

Sesshoumaru suddenly smiled. Little more than the slight upturn of his lips and a discernable lightening in his gaze, the tai-youkai looked like he believed that InuYasha ought to already know the answer to his own question. “You're the only family I have, InuYasha. Though I might wish it otherwise, the bonds of blood are stronger than all else. If it wasn't so, I would have cut you down centuries ago. Is that not reason enough?”

He started to leave but shook his head slowly as he stared at Sesshoumaru. “One more thing. Why couldn't Kagome sense youkai in this time?”

Sesshoumaru seemed amused by InuYasha's question. “That's simple enough. Over the centuries, we've learned to manipulate things, namely the Fuyouheki.”

“The Fuyouheki?” InuYasha echoed, confusion obvious in his expression. ` _The stone that hides the bearer's youki? But_ . . .' “But that can't be.”

With a nonchalant shrug Sesshoumaru stood up. The breeze that filtered through the window flapped his empty left sleeve as the tai-youkai retrieved the small pendant that hung on a golden chain around his neck. “The miracles of modern science, InuYasha. We have been reproducing these stones for quite some time. That is why your miko didn't sense youkai here. That is why you cannot tell from their scent alone. We have learned to camouflage ourselves, which reminds me . . .” Letting go of his charm as he strode to the desk near the floor-to-ceiling windows, Sesshoumaru pulled a small box from the top drawer and tossed it to InuYasha.

“What's this?” InuYasha asked as he carefully opened the box.

“It's your Fuyouheki. I would caution you, however, not to wear it when you go back through the well. I daresay you'd draw more attention for your lack of youki than you would for possessing it.”

“Keh! Why do you care?”

Sesshoumaru shook his head. “Don't be ignorant, baka. I don't care. I simply do not wish for you to draw undue attention to our kind. That miserable hat doesn't hide your claws and doesn't conceal your fangs. It will have no effect on those who have seen you as you are. They can see through the disguise.”

“Keh! Fine, I get it. Anything else, bastard?” InuYasha growled as he glowered at his brother.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his gaze as he stared at InuYasha. “The toxin . . . it still taints you.”

InuYasha gritted his teeth together and stormed toward the door. “Keh! Forget I asked!” he snarled.

“You cannot defeat her while she hides behind your miko's face.”

InuYasha stopped short and turned his head slowly, glaring at Sesshoumaru out of the corner of his eye. “Don't lose any sleep over it, bastard. I'll take care of that bitch. Just hide and watch.”

“Overconfidence will be your downfall.”

“Talking in fucking riddles will be yours.” InuYasha turned on his heel and strode out of the room, intent on finding Kagome and getting as far away from this place as he possibly could.

Scowling at the Fuyouheki stone pendant, he snorted in abject disgust as he dropped it over his head. Maybe Sesshoumaru was wrong. He didn't look any different. He didn't feel any different. Pausing long enough to sniff the air, InuYasha made a face. He didn't smell any different, either. ` _How do you learn how to make a Fuyouheki stone?_ '

Following Kagome's scent to the kitchen, he was surprised to find her laughing at something Kagura had said. “Oi, wench, we're leaving.”

Kagome glanced up and smiled. “Thanks for the tea, Kagura.”

Kagura stood as Kagome got up. “You've finished speaking to Sesshoumaru so quickly?”

InuYasha made a face. “Keh. I've heard all I can stand, if that's what you mean.”

Shaking her head as she hurried over to InuYasha's side, Kagome sighed softly as he turned on his heel and stomped toward the front door. “InuYasha!” Kagome called after him as she ran to catch up.

Grabbing her hand and leading her out of the house, InuYasha wasted no time in grabbing Kagome's hand and dragging her onto his back before sprinting forward and launching them over the high fence surrounding Sesshoumaru's home.

“What did he have to say?” Kagome finally asked when she realized that InuYasha wasn't going to volunteer any information.

“Absolutely nothing,” InuYasha growled as he leapt from building to building.

She heaved a sigh designed to let him know that she wasn't buying his answer.

“He just wanted to prove again that he is a complete and utter bastard,” InuYasha told her.

“There had to be a reason he wanted to see you,” Kagome pointed out reasonably. “Did he say anything else?”

InuYasha made a face. “Yeah, he said I should have told you that your blood would change.”

“But you didn't know, did you?”

He craned his neck around to shoot her `The Look'. “Don't you think I might have mentioned that if I had known?”

“It isn't exactly a normal topic of conversation,” she pointed out in her own defense.

InuYasha conceded her point with a snort as he vaulted off the top of another building. “Anyway, it don't matter, does it? We know now.”

He sailed through the sky over Tokyo without speaking again. Kagome laid her cheek on his shoulder and sighed happily. The wind caught his hat and Kagome tried to grab it. InuYasha caught her before she fell off his back. Scowling at her as he lit atop the movie theater, InuYasha set her down and turned to face her. “Now that was stupid! What if you had slipped?”

Kagome tried not to peek over the side of the building as she scooted away from the edge. “I was trying to catch your hat,” she explained after she felt sufficiently distanced from the drop off. She caught his irritated expression and stepped forward to place her hands on his forearm in a placating gesture. “I'm very attached to your ears, you know. It's not that I'm ashamed of you. I'm not. It's just . . . if they saw you like this . . . I don't think they'd understand. They'd cart you off to some lab or something, poke you with needles to figure out why you are what you are. That's all.”

InuYasha sighed. He hadn't really thought about why she insisted he wear the hat, and he probably had believed somewhere deep inside that she was ashamed of him. He shrugged, trying to brush aside the misplaced happiness her words inspired. “Keh, that ain't it. Sesshoumaru gave me a Fuyouheki stone necklace.”

Kagome's eyes widened in surprise. “So that's why we never sensed youkai here before?”

He nodded. “'Course, I wouldn't put it past that bastard to poison it or something. I fucking _hate_ him . . .”

“Are you wearing it now?”

“Well, yeah . . .”

“Let me see!”

Gently slapping her hands away as she tried to dig for the Fuyouheki stone, InuYasha couldn't help but grin at her childlike show of curiosity. “I'll show you later,” he huffed despite the smile on his face.

She made a face. “I see your lips flapping, dog-boy, but I'm not hearing a thing,” she countered as she retrieved the Fuyouheki stone—and the talisman. She frowned as she stared at the vial of blood. “You can take this off, right?” she asked, turning the bottle in her fingers.

InuYasha jerked both necklaces out of her hands and shoved them back inside his haori. “I, uh, forgot,” he grumbled as he pulled her onto his back again. “Now come on before someone sees us up here and thinks we're gonna jump.”

Kagome didn't press the issue as she giggled and settled herself against his shoulder again.

InuYasha hopped to the next building, flattening his ears as his conscience pricked at him again. ` _You've gotta tell her, baka! She thinks the toxin is broken_ . . .'

As he lit on the roof of the shrine, he shook his head. ` _Maybe if she just don't see it . . . maybe she'll forget about it_ . . .'

He winced as he dropped to the ground and knelt to let Kagome off his back. She tweaked his ear before hurrying past him into the shrine.

He sighed. ` _Fucking doomed_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“All right, what's wrong?”

InuYasha stopped mid-stride and turned a guilty face toward Kagome. She set her magazine aside and folded her hands in her lap patiently as she waited for InuYasha to talk. He snorted. “Dunno what you're talking about, wench.”

She shook her head at his stubbornness and sighed. “Don't make me drag it out of you, InuYasha.”

“The day I'm scared of a helpless little human girl like you is the day I sprout wings and learn to fly.”

Smiling at his retort, Kagome rolled her eyes and scooted over, patting the empty space on her bed. “Lie down. You're making me nervous with your pacing.”

His ears drooped and he wouldn't look her in the eye. “I . . . it's not a good idea,” he finally said.

Kagome tilted her head to the side as she stared at him. She could tell that something was really bothering him, and she hated that he didn't want to tell her, even if she did understand why. “InuYasha, you can't protect me from everything. You just can't do it. Tell me what's wrong.”

“It's not wrong,” he grumbled as he jerked Tetsusaiga out of his waistband and leaned it against the wall. “It's just . . . I was thinking . . . I'm going to sleep in Goshinboku tonight.”

“Oh . . . okay,” Kagome said slowly. She couldn't mask the upset in her voice. Was he regretting what they'd done? He had enough on his mind with Hisadaicho and the unrest in the youkai, and now . . . Measuring her tone as she fiddled with the hem of her blouse, she tried to sound like it didn't bother her when she felt like begging him to stay. “If you think that's best . . .”

Whether he saw her face and interpreted it correctly or if he could sense her upset in her carefully controlled tone, Kagome wasn't sure. He sat down beside her and covered her fidgeting hands in his. “I don't want your mother to think . . .” He trailed off, wincing as he struggled to say what he was thinking. “I mean, until we tell your mother, is all.”

“That's why? That's the reason you wanted to sleep in Goshinboku? Because of Mama?”

Jerking his head in a nod, InuYasha scowled at the coverlet between them. Kagome smile was gentle as she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around InuYasha's neck. “Ka—go—me,” he protested as her lips collided with his time and again, teasing kisses as she giggled. “Out—tree—you—-need—-sleep.”

“You—here—sleep—better,” Kagome countered as she continued kissing him.

“Wench.”

With a contented sigh, she cuddled against his chest, slipping her arms around his waist. “We could leave my door open,” she suggested.

InuYasha considered that. “That'll do.”

She scampered off the bed and dug a pair of pajamas out of her bureau. “Be right back,” she assured him as she strolled out of the room and down the hallway toward the stairs.

InuYasha waited until she was gone before he pulled the talisman out of his haori and shook it ten times. With every motion, he grew a little more disgusted with himself, with his secrets. Kagome deserved to know, didn't she? He snorted as a stubborn scowl stole over his features. ` _Keh! Not hardly! There ain't any way I can tell her about that_ _. . ._ _She would think I lost my mind, and I_ _. . ._ _No. No way, not ever_.'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome peeked around the doorway into the kitchen and bit her bottom lip when she spotted her mother sitting at the kitchen table calmly reading the newspaper as she sipped a mug of tea. InuYasha crossed his arms and tapped his foot as he tried to ignore his mate's show of silliness. “What are we doing? Hunting her?”

“Of course not!” Kagome muttered absently as she continued her reconnaissance. “Okay, she's alone, and she seems like she's in a good enough mood . . .”

InuYasha rolled his eyes. “Keh! I could have told you that much, wench,” he pointed out, lifting his chin proudly. He glanced at her quickly before looking away only to shift his eyes back to her face once more. Gnawing on her bottom lip as she twisted her fingers together nervously, Kagome squinted as she tried to smile and failed. He winced inwardly. Her reluctance only served to feed his own. It had taken him the better portion of the night to convince himself that telling her mother wouldn't be the horrible venture that he couldn't help but believe it would be. In the face of Kagome's tangible reticence, he could feel his confidence slowly slipping away. “Don't tell me you're chickening out! You're the one who wanted to do this! It wasn't my idea!” he hissed in a whisper as he frowned at her.

Kagome sighed as he gently pulled her hands apart. “I did—I mean, I do!” Scrunching up her shoulders as she squeezed her eyes closed and pursed her lips, Kagome let out a deep breath as she relaxed her body and shook her arms to loosen them up. “All right, I'm ready.”

Wisely hiding his amusement at her forced resolve, he followed her into the kitchen and waited while she sat down beside her mother. InuYasha leaned against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, ears twitching uneasily as he monitored the emotions in the room, waiting for any traces of fear from Kagome, of anger from her mother. ` _She's her mother, baka!_ '

He wrinkled his nose, defying his own thoughts. ` _Keh! But she's_ my _mate_.'

Mrs. Higurashi glanced up from her newspaper and smiled as she carefully folded it and laid it aside. “You two look serious. Did you sleep well last night?”

“Fine,” Kagome answered with a strained smile. “Did you close my door last night?”

Mrs. Higurashi nodded and narrowed one eye. “Your grandfather woke me up last night with his snoring. I got a glass of water and closed your door on the way back so he wouldn't wake you, too.” Her expression took on a frown of concern as she gazed at InuYasha. “Did you sleep all right, InuYasha? You slept sitting up . . .”

InuYasha blinked in surprise. He hadn't thought about it. He normally did sleep sitting up, and he never slept deeply. In a constant state of alertness, even in sleep, he could count on his fingers, the number of times he could remember really sleeping. Strangely, they were all time when he knew Kagome was near. “Keh. I'm fine.”

“I need to tell you something,” Kagome said quietly. He didn't have to see her hands to know she was knitting her fingers together under the tabletop.

“You sound serious, dear. Is something wrong?”

InuYasha's ears twitched as he sensed Kagome's rising anxiety.

“InuYasha and I . . . we're . . . together.”

Mrs. Higurashi chuckled. “Of course you are. He's right here.”

Kagome shook her head and sighed. “Yes, but . . . umm . . . well, I meant that we're _together,_ like a couple.”

“I see . . .” she trailed off then smiled, staring from Kagome to InuYasha and back again. “I can't say that this surprises me. I'm glad to see you've come to terms. You make a darling couple. Dating is such a fun time! I remember when your father and I started seeing one another—-”

“No, Mama,” Kagome cut in, fighting the livid and painful blush that was rising in her cheeks. InuYasha could sense her ballooning discomfort as he straightened up and slowly shuffled closer to her chair as he broke into the low rumble that soothed her best. She shot him a grateful glance over her shoulder before drawing a deep breath and continuing. “It's more than that . . . we . . . uh . . .”

Mrs. Higurashi's smile faded as Kagome faltered. Her gaze shifted to InuYasha. He grimaced inwardly as her expression shifted into quiet assessment. It didn't matter that she still seemed calm enough. He couldn't help but think that Mrs. Higurashi would know that he didn't deserve Kagome, that no being as tainted and disgusting as he was should be allowed to so much as touch Kagome. His ears flattened as her hand shot up to hover at her lips, eyes widening and a rosy hue filtered into her cheeks. “Oh . . . o-okay . . . When did this happen?”

InuYasha bristled at the hint of quiet upset in Mrs. Higurashi's tone. Planting himself between the two women, he intercepted Kagome's questioning glance as he folded his arms together in the sleeves of his haori. “Almost a week ago,” he admitted, staring over Mrs. Higurashi's head as he concentrated on not blushing, as he tried to control the growl that welled up in his throat, the warning sound that Kagome was his and that no one, not even her mother, would be allowed to keep him away from her.

Mrs. Higurashi sat back, biting her lower lip as she took in their confessions. She sighed and cleared her throat as she managed a tight smile, clearly shaken by his words. “And . . . what does this . . . mean . . . to the two of you?”

“What does it _mean?_ ” InuYasha echoed, unable to keep the irritated rumble out of his voice.

“It's kind of like . . . youkai marriage,” Kagome ventured before InuYasha got too riled up.

“Youkai . . . marriage . . .” she repeated slowly, mulling it over in her head. “Was there a ceremony?”

“Uh . . . no,” InuYasha admitted. ` _Damn, she makes it sound like . . . stupid!_ '

“What, exactly, did this involve?”

InuYasha and Kagome exchanged nervous looks as Mrs. Higurashi stared. “It, uh, wasn't quite like that. I mean . . . when we . . .”

“Oh, my,” Mrs. Higurashi murmured as her flush darkened. “I see . . .” Deliberating what she wanted to say, Kagome's mother shook her head slowly and pursed her lips. As seconds ticked off the kitchen clock, the tension in the air seemed to thicken. “That isn't really the same, Kagome. You know that. I'm sure that it was a big step for both of you, but—”

Kagome shook her head as InuYasha's back stiffened, as indignant color blossomed in his cheeks. “No, Mama, you don't understand. Youkai only do that when they . . . when they take a mate, and . . .” she trailed off as she fought back her rising embarrassment, as she struggled to find words to make her mother understand. “When we went to donate blood, I couldn't. Because of this, InuYasha's blood and mine are mixed. It's more binding than marriage. It's . . . forever.”

Digesting Kagome's words in silence, Mrs. Higurashi seemed at least somewhat reassured. “Your blood is mixed? I don't understand . . .”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. Tell me about it.”

Kagome shrugged. “We didn't know it happened. InuYasha didn't know it would . . .”

“That's a big commitment,” Mrs. Higurashi finally commented, carefully measuring her words though she seemed oddly relieved, as well. “And you two want this? You're sure?”

Kagome ducked her head and nodded.

Mrs. Higurashi's gaze shifted to meet InuYasha's. “You, too?”

His mouth was suddenly parched. Words stuck under a rising swell of irrational panic and refused to come out. Restraining the desire to grab Kagome and run, he nodded once.

Her smile finally brightened into a much more natural expression, and InuYasha relaxed, just a little. “Well, even if you share this blood bond, I still would rather see that the two of you are married.”

“Married?” InuYasha croaked out before he could stop himself. “ _Married?_ ”

“If what Kagome says is true, and you've already committed yourselves like you would in marriage, then you surely wouldn't mind,” Mrs. Higurashi remarked gently.

Kagome shot InuYasha a tense glance. “We . . . hadn't talked about that,” she mumbled as more heat rose in her cheeks.

“But you will, I hope?” she asked in a tone that didn't sound questioning at all.

InuYasha grimaced at the quiet censure. She reached out to pat Kagome's hand, and before InuYasha could think about it, he growled menacingly as his hand shot out to stop her. Kagome gasped as Mrs. Higurashi jerked her hand away. “InuYasha!” Kagome exclaimed.

Blushing furiously as he flattened his ears, InuYasha refused to back down.

“Mama isn't going to hurt me!” she argued.

“Keh! I didn't think she was!”

“Of course I wouldn't,” Mrs. Higurashi assured him and sighed as a rueful smile surfaced. “I suppose I shouldn't be that surprised. It's been obvious to me all along, how close the two of you are. You must think about marriage though, especially if you intend to have children.”

“Children?” InuYasha rasped out. Between Sesshoumaru and Kagome's mother, he couldn't help but feel as though he'd done something terribly wrong despite Kagome's quiet reassurances that she was with him because she wanted to be. “As in, pups?”

“Maybe eventually,” Kagome hedged as the color in her cheeks escalated to match InuYasha's. “We're not really in a hurry . . .”

“Surely you wouldn't dishonor my daughter?” Mrs. Higurashi asked, arching an eyebrow to emphasize her question.

InuYasha snapped his mouth closed as his scowl deepened. “What the hell—?”

“Mama's just saying that it isn't right to have children when we're not married!” Kagome hurriedly explained.

“But we're mated!” he bellowed.

“Humans don't really understand the concept of `mating', InuYasha,” Mrs. Higurashi broke in, blushing at the use of the word `mating'. “The marriage would be for Kagome.”

He snorted. There wasn't any way to argue the logic in that, and he knew it. If he did, he'd be belittling Kagome. Still it rankled him, that her mother would even ask him such a thing. He'd die before he dishonored Kagome in any way. Didn't her mother know that? “Keh! Fine,” he grumbled as his ears flattened a little more.

The smile on Mrs. Higurashi's face registered her obvious relief. “I knew you wouldn't dishonor her, InuYasha.”

Why did he have the feeling he'd just been completely manipulated? He narrowed a suspicious stare on Mrs. Higurashi. The woman was still smiling, looking way too pleased with herself. InuYasha shook his head. Because he had been completely manipulated, that was why . . .

Kagome finally smiled as she stood up and darted around InuYasha to hug her mother as InuYasha resisted the urge to grab her and hold her back. ` _That's stupid, baka! It's her mother, for kami's sake!_ '

“Thanks, Mama.”

“I want you to be happy, Kagome, and you, too, InuYasha. Will you both be staying here today or do you have to get back?”

Kagome made a face as she peered up at InuYasha. “I think we need to go. One of the neighboring villages wanted me to try to purify the grounds, and we still have to find Hisadaicho . . .”

InuYasha gritted his teeth at that reminder. The last thing he wanted to think about on top of everything else was Hisadaicho, not to mention the active toxin that still infected him . . .

Mrs. Higurashi sighed but nodded. “I repacked your bag, just in case, while you were gone yesterday,” she explained.

Kagome seemed surprised but smiled gratefully as InuYasha grabbed her hand and tugged, message clear. “Thank you. We'll be back soon!”

InuYasha snorted as he dragged Kagome out of the kitchen. She pulled away long enough to retrieve her bag from beside the hall table. He plucked it out of her arms and led the way out of the shrine.

Kagome let out a deep breath as they stepped into the bright morning sunshine in the courtyard. “I'm relieved we told her,” she remarked happily. “But I'm even more relieved that it's over.”

InuYasha snorted, allowing himself to savor the cautious relief that the hard part was finished. He'd dreaded telling Kagome's mother more than anyone else. He hadn't really thought that she would try to keep Kagome away from him—as if she really could—but he also couldn't help worrying that she would try to. Brushing aside his troubling thoughts, he pushed open the well-house doors to slowly descend the stairs.

“Do you still want to wait to tell Sango and Miroku?”

He stopped abruptly and grimaced as he imagined the teasing that would bring on. She caught his expression and winced, shaking her head quickly, as if the same thing had just occurred to her, as well.

“Keh!”

“On second thought, they can wait,” Kagome agreed as InuYasha picked her up and hopped into the well.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Fuyouheki:** un-magic barrier. Introduced in Manga scroll 337 (Fuyouheki), the stone was used to hide the youki (demonic aura) of the bearer.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Mrs. Higurashi:**  
>  …Mated … ?  
> ==========


	68. Something Wicked

 

~~ ** _Chapter 68_** ~~  
~ ** _Something Wicked_** ~

 

“Do you think she can do this?” Sango whispered to Miroku as the two stood back in the loose ring of observers that surrounded the small village. InuYasha stood beside Sango with a frown on his face as he gazed at the young miko who stood in the center of the village with her eyes closed and her hands raised level with her chest.

“It's hard to say,” Miroku mumbled back. “Even the strongest of monks cannot perform such a rite, at least on such a wide scale. It is an exhaustive process simply to purify sacred ground around temples and shrines. If Kagome were fully trained, she might be able to do it. Kaede said that if Kagome meditated well that she might be able to channel the necessary energy.”

“Keh! She'll do it.”

Sango turned to stare at InuYasha. The hanyou hadn't moved his gaze from Kagome but the determination and absolute belief in her was evident in his expression, his stance. Calm, serene, as though he didn't possess a single doubt, InuYasha didn't blink as he watched Kagome. Sango smiled.

A thin pink light bathed Kagome in its aura as a sudden crackle of spiritual power emanated from her body. Bolts of silvery lightning shot from her fingertips in every direction, extending to the perimeters of the village as her peaceful expression shifted into a little smile. The gathered villagers were silent, staring in awe as Kagome's aura spread over the ground in a thick blanket. Engulfing the village like pink snow, the power resonated with the steady beat of her heart.

“Amazing,” Miroku breathed, admiration lighting his violet eyes.

“Absolutely remarkable,” Sango agreed. Marisaiko cooed in from her comfortable sling on Sango's back.

InuYasha remained silent, eyes glowing with unmasked pride as Kagome slowly opened her eyes. Her gaze locked with his first, and her smile was for him, alone.

Glancing up at InuYasha only to find him smiling back at Kagome, a smile full of admiration and love—a smile Sango had never seen before, she tapped Miroku's arm to get his attention as the villagers who had been silent broke into excited murmurings.

“Incredible,” Miroku whispered, referring more to the hanyou than to the purification of the village. Sango nodded. “Why do you suppose he's looking at her like that?”

Before Sango could answer, Kagome hurried over and said something quietly to the hanyou. He blinked quickly and shook his head as a small flush crept up his cheeks. To her amazement, Sango watched as InuYasha leaned over and whispered something back to Kagome that made her cheeks redden enough to match his.

“Thank you so much, Kagome-sama! The villagers will rest easy tonight, and for many nights to come!” the headman said as he grasped Kagome's hands and bowed over and over.

Sango's mouth dropped open in shock as InuYasha pulled Kagome against his chest and gently but firmly pulled her hands away from the headman's grasp. Miroku gaped in unabashed awe. “Inu—” he began only to receive a sharp elbow in the ribs from his wife to silence him.

“Perhaps we should let them tell us?”

Miroku didn't look like he agreed but he finally nodded, still staring at both InuYasha and Kagome in obvious amazement. “I'm so happy for her!” Sango whispered with a contented sigh.

“I want to know what they said to each other,” Miroku complained.

Sango rolled her eyes. “It doesn't matter, does it?”

“Yes, it does,” he argued. “She made him blush. I _must_ know what she said.”

“They'll tell us when they're ready,” Sango assured him. “Remember when you first proposed? We didn't tell them right away.”

Miroku made a face. “Ah, yes . . . we waited at least . . . half a day.”

“It's your own fault. You know how easily InuYasha gets upset about your teasing, houshi-sama,” she pointed out. “They'll tell us when they're ready.”

Heaving a long-suffering sigh, Miroku nodded as he watched Kagome whisper something else to InuYasha. The hanyou blushed again as the villagers thanked the young miko, and to the ex-monk's everlasting amazement, the prior show of jealousy continued as InuYasha kept the villagers from touching Kagome too long.

“It's a little . . . disturbing,” Miroku finally commented with a puzzled frown.

“What is?”

Miroku shrugged as he caught Marisaiko's hand and kissed her little palm. “I never thought I'd see InuYasha smile quite so openly . . . and I've got to admit, it's . . . almost frightening.”

Sango rolled her eyes. “You should be happy for them, don't you think?”

“I'm happy for them,” Miroku contradicted. “And I'll be happier when they tell us what's going on.”

Sango grinned. “You know Kagome. She'll tell us.”

“Are you implying that Kagome can't keep a secret?”

The youkai exterminator shook her head. “Never! I'm simply saying that she can't lie.”

Miroku's pondered that as a smile surfaced on his face. “Ah, my wife is as wise as she is beautiful! Exactly why I love you.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“This is so nice,” Kagome sighed as she sank back in the warm water of the hot spring.

Sango nodded in complete agreement as she rolled her head from side to side. “I know . . .”

“I was a little tired from the purification, but this is really helping,” Kagome went on.

True enough, by the time the purification ritual was over, she had felt like collapsing. At least, she had been until she had seen InuYasha. As though some of his strength had become her own, she felt a slow resurgence of energy, a blossoming of exhilaration that had come solely from the brilliant smile he'd given her.

“I can't believe InuYasha actually held Marisaiko,” Sango added.

Kagome smiled. The baby had been lying on Kagome's bedroll fussing a little while she and Sango gathered their things for their bath. Miroku was heading over to pick her up but InuYasha was closer, and to the surprise of one and all, the hanyou had very carefully scooped up the girl and held her up to stare her in the eye like he was trying to brainwash her into being happy. Even more surprisingly, it seemed to do the trick.

Waving her hands wildly in the general direction of InuYasha's ears, the baby screamed in giddy delight as InuYasha flattened the appendages in question and winced as he quickly handed the baby to Miroku.

“I think she likes his ears,” Kagome admitted with a giggle.

“The two of you seemed very . . . close . . . today,” Sango remarked casually as she squeezed body wash onto a scrubby and started lathering her arms.

“Did we?” Kagome hedged as she grabbed her fingernail brush and scrubbed her nails.

“Yes . . . Miroku noticed it, too.”

“He did?”

“He's probably remarking on it right now.”

Kagome faltered with the brush poised above her fingernails. “You think so?”

Sango nodded slowly. “I told him not to do it since InuYasha has never taken well to teasing . . . but you know Miroku . . .”

“Uh . . . yeah . . .”

Sango shook her head and smiled sweetly at Kagome. “You'd tell us if there was anything important. I don't know what I was thinking.”

Kagome smiled weakly, feeling completely horrible as she managed a little nod. “I would,” she agreed as guilt assailed her. “Of course I would!” Hiding a grimace as she ducked under the water's surface, Kagome felt just a little worse with every passing second. If she didn't know better, she'd swear that Sango knew more than she was letting on. That was ridiculous. There was no way she could, right? She and InuYasha had been careful not to say a word . . .

Still, she hated keeping secrets from her friends. It made her feel sneaky, unworthy of her friends' trust . . .

` _InuYasha and his insecurities . . . I wish he'd just tell them_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“I was quite impressed with the demonstration of Kagome's powers,” Miroku mused as he and InuYasha sat on a log near the hot spring. Marisaiko babbled happily from her perch in her father's lap. Swinging her tiny fists at InuYasha as she tried to grab a handful of his hair, the hanyou leaned back in time to avoid the flailing hands.

“Keh. I knew she could do it,” InuYasha scoffed.

“It almost seems like her power has grown. Have you noticed?”

InuYasha snorted as he shrugged carelessly. “Nope.”

“So what did she say that amused you?”

InuYasha shifted his gaze to stare at Miroku out of the corner of his eye. The monk was staring at his daughter's head. Kagome's voice whispered through his mind, as her complete pleasure at having accomplished the purification of the village surrounded her in the brightest aura. ` _I'm glad you're here with me, InuYasha_.'

“Don't remember,” he lied as the memory of her shining eyes, her happy smile brought another dusting of pink to his cheeks, just as it had earlier.

Miroku sighed. “That's a shame. I'd love to know what you said back to her, to make her blush.”

` _That wasn't half bad, wench_.'

InuYasha snorted again. “Don't remember that, either.”

“Have it your way, InuYasha,” Miroku gave in gracefully. “I won't badger it out of you.”

“Well, that's a miracle,” InuYasha grumbled.

Miroku chuckled. “Of course, that isn't to say that your brilliant display of jealousy wasn't observed. It was. Sango and I both found it . . . refreshing.”

“What jealousy?” InuYasha growled. “I wasn't jealous!”

“So you didn't pull Kagome away from the headman? Or the other villagers when they held on to her hands a little longer than necessary?”

InuYasha could feel his face reddening. “Keh! You're delusional!”

Miroku relented, obviously realizing he wasn't making any headway in his efforts to get InuYasha to tell him what was really going on. “I apologize, InuYasha.”

He didn't reply as he glared toward the sound of splashing water.

“Did you ever tell Kagome whatever it was you were keeping from her?”

InuYasha grimaced at the reminder. “It ain't important,” he growled as he shot to his feet to stomp away.

Miroku's laughter trailed in his wake as InuYasha leaped into the trees. ` _Let the monk have his fun_ ,' InuYasha thought with a snort. ` _Damn lecher . . . I'll get him back . . ._ _when he's least expecting it_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome leaned back against the base of Goshinboku and gazed at the sunlight filtering through the tree branches. InuYasha hopped down and hunkered beside her, sat on his haunches, hands on the ground between his spread knees. She grinned. When he sat that way, she couldn't help but remember that he really was half dog-youkai.

“Sango suspects something,” Kagome remarked quietly as she continued to stare at the trees.

“So does that pervert,” InuYasha admitted grudgingly.

Kagome shrugged. “Would it really be so bad, to tell them?”

“Yes,” InuYasha maintained. “That damned monk won't leave it alone.”

She shook her head but smiled as she straightened up and turned to face him. “So . . . do you want to leave tomorrow?”

“Where to?”

She blinked at him, trying to decide if he was being serious or not. Deciding that he probably was, she sighed then grinned at his incorrigibility. “To find Hisadaicho . . . you can defeat her now, right? You've got to, before Kouga finds her. Even if they aren't really mates . . . it just seems . . . wrong for him to kill her.”

“Keh! Idiotic mangy wolf. He mated her! Baka.”

Kagome blushed as she shook her head. “But he didn't think it was her,” she forced herself to say. “He thought she was—”

“Don't _even_ fucking say it,” InuYasha growled as all traces of his amusement over the situation evaporated.

“Well, it's not like I'm happy about that,” she argued. “I didn't want to be—-I just didn't.” She sighed and dropped her hands over his. “I wanted to be with you, baka. Don't you know that?”

He wrinkled his nose but didn't pull away from her. “. . . Maybe,” he allowed grudgingly.

Kagome smiled. “And maybe you wanted to be with me?”

He snorted. “. . . Maybe.”

She scooted a little closer, her knees brushing against his as she sat up straight. “And . . . maybe . . . we could . . . be alone . . . for a little while?”

He blinked in surprise at her question, his expression wary, as though he didn't dare believe what he thought she meant. “. . . Why?”

She didn't answer out loud. With a shy smile, she reached up, gently stroked his ear.

InuYasha sat back as his eyes flared wide with unspoken understanding. Kagome's smile widened as he gulped, as a bright flush blossomed in his cheeks. “O-o-oh,” he stammered.

She giggled and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. He turned his face to intercept her lips, uttering a low growl as she continued to stroke his ear. The feel of her fingers mingled with the sensation of her lips on his as her aura crackled in his ears, as her scent tingled in his nostrils. So easy to lose himself in her, so simple just to love her . . .

All his senses centered around her as everything else faded away. Kagome was the bright center of his world, and his world was a beautiful place. Unsure when he'd first realized that, he couldn't name the single moment when he'd known. The flutter of her lips under his was dewy, soft, sweet even as the darker sensation of the familiar ache spun around him. Kagome glowed brightly in his mind, his shooting star, the star that had fallen to the earth only to be reborn in her.

He leaned toward her as her hand clutched his. She sighed softly as her other hand fell away from his ear, grasp his fingers as she braced her arms, as she rose up to press her lips more firmly against his. Her fragrance shifted and flowed, followed on the invisible wings of her gentle aura, twined in his hair, stroked his skin in feathers and whispers.

Her lips opened to him as a shiver rippled through her. Her soft sigh was a balm on his soul as her hands tightened around his fingers. She scooted closer, her knees touching his inner thighs as she sought to close the distance between them without moving her hands away from his. The contact was enough to send waves of flames through his body, culminating in a painful pressure, a haunting ache.

The intensity of the feelings she inspired was consuming, driven. A wealth of sensation surged inside him, a torrent of tactile emotion wrapped so tightly around him that he couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Her tongue flitted against his, a web of need tangling with a primordial burn. She possessed his mind as his youkai blood raced, as the collision between humanity and youkai were blurred.

He could hear the path of their mingled blood racing through her body as the strained control he possessed over his own emotions weakened. Hanging on by a silvery strand, the remnants of his will reacted to her. In the single press of her lips to his, in the dizzying feel of her deepened kisses, innocence fell away as a burgeoning hunger spiraled out, flowed through him and into her. She was everything he could never be, and yet she still believed in him.

“Kagome!”

InuYasha growled at the intrusion of the female voice that cut through his idyll like the sound of shattering glass.

Kagome didn't appear to have heard Sango calling her name. She whimpered when InuYasha jerked back with a mutinous scowl on his face. “InuYasha?”

“Damn it,” he grumbled as Sango's voice drifted to them again.

Kagome sighed and tried to smile. “If you'd tell them . . .” she began slowly.

He shook his head and snorted. “Keh! Just get rid of her.”

Kagome rolled her eyes. “I can't do that! What if it's important?”

InuYasha's glare should have told Kagome just what he thought was more important at the moment. The miko giggled and stood up, smoothing her skirt before she dashed to intercept her friend.

Peeking over his shoulder as Kagome ran off, he grimaced and cracked his knuckles just before his ears drooped and he sighed. ` _She's right, you know. If you'd just tell the others, they might leave the two of you alone more . . . and if not, then you could always threaten them a little. Either way you'd be able to spend more time alone with Kagome_ . . .'

He groaned as scenarios flashed through his head, of that damn Miroku teasing the hell out of him. ` _Keh! He'd never let it go, then I'd have to kill him, and then Sango would be pissed off . . . and Sango's a little . . . scary . . . when she's mad_ . . .' He snorted. ` _She wouldn't be half as scary, though, if she didn't have that gigant-ass boomerang_ . . .'

“InuYasha! Kaede wants to talk to me!” Kagome called back with a jaunty wave. “I'll be right back, okay?”

“Whatever,” he scoffed as he shifted his position enough to rid himself of at least a modicum of his current discomfort. It didn't help much. With a sigh, he watched as Kagome and Sango disappeared into the trees that lined the forest path. ` _Cursed, damn it! I knew it! Someone cursed me, and when I figure out who, I'll fucking shred them_ _. . ._ _Probably that lecher. He's got the spiritual power to do it. He's probably hiding nearby, laughing his ass off_ . . .'

“Keh!”

Staring around at the empty forest, InuYasha gazed at Kagome's backpack. ` _Great! Now I'm her fucking watch dog_ ,' he fumed as he grabbed the bag and dragged it closer. ` _Wonder if she's got ramen in here?_ '

Digging through the bag was always an interesting endeavor. Kagome seemed to enjoy bringing things along that baffled him. Since she didn't carry school books anymore, the bag was much lighter than it used to be. He tugged a magazine loose and tilted his head as he frowned at the cover. ` _101 Beauty Secrets of the Stars, Revealed!_ '

InuYasha snorted. ` _The stars? Stars can't talk . . . beauty secrets? Huh?_ '

He read the next headline: ` _Poll's Closed! Your 15 Hottest Hunks!_ '

InuYasha's face contorted in complete confusion. ` _Hottest hunks of what?_ '

He shook his head. ` _Weird_ . . .' Bright orange lettering caught his attention next. His scowl melted into wide-eyed shock as he read that line. ` _Talking sex with Sue Johanson: Straight Up Ways To Drive Your Man Wild In Bed From Canada's Foremost Sexual Educator!_ '

` _Wh-wh-what?_ ' He dropped the magazine as though it had grown teeth and bit him. ` _What the fuck is Kagome reading?_ '

Glaring at the offending paper, he snorted. ` _Keh!'_

The longer he stared at the magazine, the more his curiosity was pricked. ` _Sex_ _? Is that like . . . m_ _ating? What . . . straight up ways? Like what?_ '

Slowly he sniffed the air. He didn't smell anything out of the ordinary. ` _So . . . no one would know if I looked, right?_ ' He made a face as he cautiously reached for the magazine. ` _Right_.'

` _Besides_ ,' he thought defensively, ` _if Kagome's read this, then that gives her the upper hand . . . sneaky wench_ _. . ._ _Didn't think she had it in her_ . . .'

Navigating the magazine was harder than he expected. The article that he was searching for wasn't in the first few pages. In fact, there was nothing but weird pictures on them, like commercials on paper. At least he knew what those were. He'd watched enough television in Kagome's time to know. Still, finding the aforementioned man-maddening article was proving frustrating, and he growled in irritation as he leafed through the magazine.

“InuYasha? What are you doing?”

A sound suspiciously close to a `yip' escaped him as he shoved the magazine back into Kagome's bag and kicked the backpack away. Shooting to his feet as he whirled around to face a very amused-looking miko, he couldn't help the wave of hot color that exploded on his face. “N-n-nothing!” he yelled. “Keh! Don't _do_ that, wench!”

“Do what?” she asked innocently, clasping her hands behind her back.

“Sneak up on me!”

“I didn't sneak,” she countered with a shake of her head.

“I thought you had to talk to Kaede.”

She shrugged. “I needed my bag.”

“Your bag?”

“Yeah, my bag—the one you just kicked.”

He made a face. “Oh. I was, uh . . . looking for ninja food.”

She looked like she was struggling not to laugh which only served to darken his flush. “Did you find any?”

He snorted. “Keh. Why do you think I kicked it?”

She did giggle at that and stepped over to retrieve her bag. After picking up the few things that had fallen out when he kicked it, she closed up the bag and slung it over her shoulder. “All right, it won't take too long. Will you still be here when I'm done?”

He shrugged as he jammed his arms together in his sleeves. “Maybe. I'll find you, don't worry.”

“Okay,” she agreed as she started past him again, tweaking his ear in passing. He caught her hand. “Wench! I thought I told you _not_ to do that!” he grouched as her touch shot through him.

She grinned. “But you like it, don't you?”

He blinked in surprise at the huskiness in her voice, a tone he'd never heard before. “Well . . . maybe.”

She turned toward him, placing her hand on his chest, over his heart, as she smiled at him. Staring into her eyes had the same effect on him as kissing her. His mind dissolved as incoherence took over, as instinct shoved aside reason. The shock of her hand against his skin as she slipped it inside his undershirt wrenched a low groan from him as he stood still, mesmerized by the secretive shine in the depths of her gaze. Her knuckles grazed over his chest as her hand wrapped around the talisman. He didn't think to question it.

“K-Kaede,” he mumbled, hating to remind her yet knowing that if he didn't, she would be missed. The last thing he wanted was for the others to find them again.

She sighed and let her hand drop away, shaking her head slowly as she stepped back. “You ruin the best ideas, InuYasha, did you know?”

The loss of the comfort of having her near was a painful thing. InuYasha stifled a sigh and shrugged. “Then hurry it up, will you?”

With a sigh of her own, she reshouldered the bag and turned to go. “All right,” she told him. “I'll be right back!”

He waited until she was out of sight before bounding into the lower branches of Goshinboku wishing that he had thought to stash the magazine in his haori. At least he could have found that stupid article . . .

` _Maybe we should go . . . somewhere. Hell, anywhere would be better than staying here, waiting for Sango or Miroku or some else to interfere. They're like vermin. I can't fucking get rid of a single one of them!_ ' Digging his claws into the branch, InuYasha stifled a sigh. ` _It's the wench's fault. She's too nice to tell them all to go to hell for one afternoon, even for me_.'

That was the trouble, wasn't it? She did most of the things she did, because she was too nice, too kind, too compassionate. He did sigh this time. Weren't those the very reasons that he loved her?

Settling back against the tree trunk, he propped his foot on the branch and let out a deep breath just before he yawned wide, ears flattening as his mouth expanded, as his eyes squeezed closed. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. A nap might do him some good, since there wasn't anything else he could do while he waited.

Dragging the vial out of his undershirt, InuYasha shook it and stowed it away again then wrinkled his nose as the unsettling scent of his blood and Kagome's singed his nostrils. Staring down at his hand with a marked frown, InuYasha lifted his fingers. A small smear of blood on his hand? Where did that come from?

He hopped down out of the tree and shook his head. He'd have known if she had been injured, and he knew he hadn't been. Staring around the forest with a suspicious frown as the stirrings of comprehension slowly seeped over him, InuYasha made a face. ` _No . . . that can't have . . . ?_ '

“InuYasha, sometimes I think you pout a little too much.”

InuYasha snapped out of his reverie as Kagome stomped toward him with her bag slung over her shoulder. “What's wrong with you?”

“What do you think?”

He snorted. “Keh! If I knew, would I be asking?”

She glared up at him and poked her index finger into his chest as her glare darkened. “That was just mean, you know.”

“Mean?” he echoed as he stepped back out of poking distance. “Keh! I didn't do a damn thing, wench!”

“You did,” she countered. “I'm sorry I had to go see Kaede, but did you really have to leave my bag in the middle of the path?”

He blinked suddenly as his suspicion solidified. “You came and got it,” he argued.

She rolled her eyes. “I did not. I went to see Kaede, and when I was coming back, I found my bag in the middle of the forest with no dog-boy in sight!”

“Keh! That's because `dog-boy' was busy here . . . but if it wasn't you, then who . . . ?”

Her eyes widened suddenly as his words registered in her mind. “Hisadaicho?” The shock wore off quickly only to be replaced by an accusing stare as she crossed her arms over her chest. “If you kissed her, InuYasha, I swear, I'll—”

“Keh! As if! And that's hardly important, anyway, don't you think?”

“What did she want?”

He rolled his eyes. “Your _bag_ , wench!”

“If she wanted my bag, why did she leave it in the middle of the forest?”

He made a face. “Keh! How should I know? Maybe there was something in it she wanted!”

“Like what?” she countered.

“Like the Shikon no Tama!” InuYasha snarled.

“But that isn't in the bag!”

“I _know_ that!”

“Then why did you suggest it?” she asked, her tone completely exasperated.

“Because _she_ might not have known that!”

Kagome opened her mouth to argue with him then snapped it closed as indignant color blossomed in her cheeks, as her miko aura fizzled with her rising irritation. A sudden thought crossed her mind as her eyes narrowed, as her mouth snapped closed. She spared a moment to regard InuYasha carefully, as though she had realized there was something he wasn't telling her. “InuYasha . . .” she began in a deadly quiet voice, “why didn't you know it was Hisadaicho and not me?”

He blanched at her controlled tone, at the apprehension in her voice. “Uh . . .”

She rounded on him, fire igniting in her gaze as she stalked toward him. He retreated. “We broke the toxin, didn't we? That _should_ mean she didn't look like me, right?”

“Uh . . .”

“InuYasha . . . is there something you need to tell me?”

He flattened his ears and tried not to wince. “It . . . uh . . . th-th-the toxin ain't gone?”

Kagome gasped when he confirmed her suspicion. “Oh, kami!” Grasping her forehead in her fingers, Kagome groaned and rubbed her temples hard. “It isn't a question, InuYasha! Either we broke it or we didn't!”

“All right,” he agreed, his voice rising defensively, “we didn't!”

“How could we not? We did . . . _that!_ ”

InuYasha refused to comment, screwing his face up into `The Pout' as he stubbornly looked away.

“Baka!” she shrieked, her voice echoing off the trees. “Then why didn't it work?”

“How the fuck should _I_ know?” he bellowed back.

“Because they're _your_ stupid dreams!”

“Well, you were in them!”

“Because you put me in them! Now what didn't we do?”

“I don't know!”

“You don't know or you won't say?”

He made a face. “Fine, I ain't saying!”

Kagome balled her hands into fists at her sides. “You _jerk!_ You dragged me into your hentai dreams! The least you can do is tell me what we were doing!”

“Keh! Not on your life!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

InuYasha watched in stunned silence as Kagome whirled around on her heel and stomped back into the forest. “Oi! Where are you going!” he called after her as his feet finally agreed to move.

Kagome's pace didn't falter as she stormed away. “I'm going back to the village, baka, and I'm not talking to you again, ever, until you tell me the rest of what you're keeping from me!”

He watched her for a moment before darting after her. ` _Not talking to me, huh? Keh! I should be so fucking lucky!_ '

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  BAAAKAAAAAAAAAA!!!


	69. Letting the Cat Out

 

~~ ** _Chapter 69_** ~~  
~ ** _Letting the Cat Out_** ~

 

“Will you stop?”

“Baka!”

“Just wait, Kagome!”

“Jerk!”

“Thought you said you weren't talking to me anymore!”

“ _Baka_ jerk!”

“It ain't my fault!”

“It is _so_ your fault, baka! Just what were we doing in your baka dream if we didn't already break the toxin?”

“It don't matter!”

Kagome threw open the bamboo mat that covered Kaede's doorway. “It does! If becoming mates didn't do it, then what in the world do we have to do?”

A soft cough behind her followed by a choking female's rasp precluded InuYasha's retort. “Congratulations?”

Kagome gasped as she spun around, remembering too late that she had just stormed into Kaede's hut.

The ex-monk was staring at the fire with very deliberate concentration, and Kagome could tell that he was hard-pressed not to laugh outright. Sango, on the other hand, was pressing her lips together in a thin, white line that twitched around the corners of her mouth. Kaede wasn't even attempting to hide her own amusement.

Kagome's face erupted in flames as InuYasha's combination of murderous scowl and embarrassed flush swept the room.

“I didn't tell!” Ichisaru whined as he scooted back into the far corner.

“Me, either!” Shippou seconded as he followed suite.

Kirara raised her head off her paws where she had been napping and mewled quietly.

“Keh!”

“You mean there was another way to break the toxin?” Miroku asked in the stilted silence.

Kagome's blush darkened as InuYasha snorted again. “Apparently,” Kagome managed weakly before casting InuYasha a fulminating glower. “Or so I thought.”

“Did ye act out InuYasha's dreams? Completely?”

Sango cleared her throat suddenly. “Houshi-sama, I think we forgot Marisaiko's . . . blanket. Why don't we go get it?”

Miroku shook his head. “I'm sure you can find it, Sango.”

Sango stood up and grasped Miroku's ear. “No, I'm positive I need your help,” she countered as she dragged the monk to his feet.

Miroku winced as he stumbled to his feet. “But this was proving so entertaining,” he argued. Sango didn't deign to comment as she kept moving. Miroku sighed. “Come, Ichisaru, Shippou. InuYasha and Kagome need to speak with Kaede.”

The two youkai children skittered past InuYasha before the hanyou could grab for them. Kirara sauntered by as Kagome shot Sango a weak smile of thanks as she and Miroku filed out of the hut.

“In order for the toxin to be completely counteracted, ye must re-enact InuYasha's dreams,” Kaede remarked as the mat fell back into place behind their departing friends.

Kagome turned to stare at InuYasha again. “Is that it? We haven't . . . what _haven't_ we done?”

InuYasha's scowl rearranged itself into `The Pout'. “Keh! No idea.”

“What do you mean, you have no idea? They're _your_ dreams!”

“How did ye find out that the toxin was still affecting ye, InuYasha?”

He shrugged, struggling to retain a measure of dignity in light of the situation at hand. “Myouga told me.”

Kaede shook her head slowly. “Ye must know, InuYasha, if ye do not tell Kagome what your dreams entailed, ye may never break the toxin. Can ye fight Hisadaicho without doing this?”

InuYasha didn't answer as Kagome knelt beside the fire pit, her cheeks flaming as red as InuYasha's haori.

` _If he still won't tell me what he's dreaming of, how am I supposed to help him break it?_ _If I_ want _to help him break it . . . baka!_ ' Kagome fumed as she glared at the blackened pit. ` _He acts like it's worse than death. But we've done . . . that sort of thing . . . what else is left?_ '

Peeking at InuYasha as the hanyou stood just inside the doorway with his arms crossed stubbornly and a foreboding scowl on his face, Kagome stifled a sigh and wrinkled her nose as another thought occurred to her. “InuYasha . . .”

“What?”

Toying with the pleats in her navy blue skirt, Kagome ran her fingers along the crease to reinforce the fold. “Why did Hisadaicho come looking for you?”

“Keh! I told you, she wanted your bag.”

Kagome shook her head. “She didn't want my bag or she wouldn't have left it in the forest.” Turning to narrow her gaze at him, she stared at him for a moment, daring him to lie to her. “Are you _sure_ you didn't kiss her?”

InuYasha's already heated face deepened about three more shades of red. “No, damn it! I didn't kiss her!”

Kagome snorted as the air around her seemed to crackle with her rising emotions, her miko's aura radiating brighter and brighter by the second. InuYasha stepped back. “You'd better not have, baka, because if you did, I'll . . . I'll . . . I'll _purify_ you!”

“Be that as it may, if Hisadaicho did come to ye, InuYasha, she must have wanted something,” Kaede interrupted before InuYasha got the chance to retort.

“Maybe she was after the Shikon no Tama,” he argued again.

“Then she would have come after me, don't you think?” Kagome pointed out.

“Not if she didn't know you have the damn thing!”

“You're asking for it, InuYasha!”

“Keh! Like I'm scared of you!” he shot back with a wild-eyed glance around the small hut.

“Maybe not now but you will be!”

“In what world?”

“This one!”

“Calm down, ye two!” Kaede interrupted. “Arguing will avail ye little. InuYasha, is there anything else ye need to tell Kagome?”

InuYasha's face contorted as he glowered at the wall, apparently set to ignore both the females in the hut.

Kagome shot to her feet and yanked her bag off the floor before brushing past InuYasha and out of the hut. Colliding with Miroku, who was obviously eavesdropping, Kagome watched with an embarrassed gasp as the monk stumbled back into Sango as Ichisaru and Shippou fell off Miroku's shoulder, landing on the ground in a pile of fur. Kagome reached out quickly enough to steady Sango as Marisaiko squealed with glee.

“Oh, uh, Kagome . . . we were just—” Miroku began.

“Oi! Where are you going now, wench!” InuYasha hollered as he stomped out of the hut, straight into Kagome.

Kagome caught herself before she fell and whipped around to face the hanyou. “I'm going home, baka!”

“You can't leave!” he bellowed. “The talisman don't work if you're gone!”

“That's your problem, dog-boy!”

“Kagome,” Sango said quietly as she stepped forward to grasp Kagome's shoulders. “Why don't you come with me for awhile? Give InuYasha a chance to think, and some time for you to calm down, too.”

Kagome sighed, shoulders slumping as she nodded. Sango shot Miroku a warning look as she wheeled Kagome around and propelled her away from the others, heading in the direction of the river.

“I can't believe he won't tell me,” Kagome mumbled as the two women walked. “InuYasha no baka . . . oh, he makes me so _mad!_ ”

Sango sighed. “Maybe he thinks you won't like whatever it is he has to say.”

“He can't be that stupid,” Kagome argued. “I never met anyone as stubborn as him!”

“You should focus instead on how to get him to tell you.”

Kagome flopped down under the canopy of a stately magnolia tree. “He won't tell me. Whatever it is, he must think it's pretty bad, but honestly . . . I have no idea what he could have been dreaming, if we didn't already . . .” trailing off as her cheeks reddened again, Kagome made a face and waved her hands. “Maybe I don't want to know.”

Sango sat down beside her friend and untied Marisaiko's sling. The girl was oblivious to the troubled emotions of the adults. Kagome spread out the blanket and Sango set Marisaiko on her belly. “The trouble is InuYasha runs away when he doesn't want to answer something. Maybe what you need to do is to find a way to make him stay put long enough for you to get a straight answer out of him.”

“That'd be like pulling teeth,” Kagome predicted.

“Do you have any other options?”

Kagome sighed and stared at the river. “I'm going to try to ask him again. Surely he knows that he has to tell me. He can't keep it from me forever.”

Sango looked dubious at best. “I don't know, Kagome. I think that InuYasha is the actual incarnation of the word `stubborn'.”

Kagome nodded slowly. Sango was absolutely right.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Save your breath, monk.”

“Don't you think you should tell her? I mean, you can't keep it a secret from her forever.”

The look InuYasha shot Miroku argued the idea that he couldn't keep it from her. Miroku sighed.

“Sooner or later she's going to find out. You know it's true. Why not save yourself the trouble and just tell her instead of putting both of you through all this? She already knows there's something you won't say. You might as well make a clean breast of it.”

“Keh!”

Miroku sat down and leaned back against the base of Goshinboku as InuYasha angrily paced, flexing his claws and gritting his teeth. “Is it really that bad?”

Pausing long enough to shoot Miroku a menacing glower, InuYasha cracked his knuckles and continued on his circuit.

“Why don't you tell me what it is, then? Maybe I can help you figure out what to do.”

“You don't get it, do you? It don't matter what it is because I ain't telling _her_.”

“Can I ask why?”

To his surprise, InuYasha's ears drooped as he stubbornly shook his head.

“That bad, is it? What have you been doing in your dreams?”

“Does it really matter? I ain't tellin', damn it!”

“Do you think that's wise? Who knows? Maybe Kagome won't react as badly as you think she would. She loved you enough to commit to you, didn't she?”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. That ain't nearly the same thing.”

“Why is that?”

InuYasha shook his head as he stopped to stare up at the late afternoon sky. “Because, Miroku, I've told you before. Those dreams are just . . . wrong.”

Miroku sighed and stood up. “If you don't tell her and she already knows you're keeping something from her, do you really think she's going to let it drop? She won't, you know. She tends to be as stubborn as you. Just think about it, InuYasha. The worst thing you can do is try to hide things from her. You should know that by now.”

InuYasha watched out of the corner of his eye as the monk disappeared into the forest. As much as he hated to admit it, the monk had a point. Kagome wasn't going to let it drop even if he refused to tell her.

He snorted as he pulled the talisman from his undershirt and stared at it. ` _It ain't a big deal. I'll just shake it, and_ . . .'

He winced as a droplet of blood oozed out around the lid of the bottle. The sealing wax was chipped away from one side of the top, and he lifted the talisman, eyes narrowing as he stared in mute shock. ` _That bitch . . . she didn't want Kagome's bag . . . she wanted to . . . break the seal? But why?_ '

He twisted the lid to tighten it a little more. The rest of the wax fell away in his hand. InuYasha winced. ` _Oh, fuck . . . this can't be good_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Poker.”

Kagome ignored InuYasha as the hanyou grabbed her bag and started rifling through the contents in search of her deck of playing cards. She stifled a yawn with the back of her hand. “Poker? Maybe tomorrow. I'm tired.”

“You're still mad at me,” he accused as he dropped the bag and scooted closer. “You are.”

Kagome sighed and buried her face in her folded arms. “I'm not . . . just wish you'd tell me stuff . . . g'night.”

“You didn't eat much for dinner. You sure you're not hungry?”

“N-n-n.”

InuYasha was quiet for a moment. “Kagome?”

“Yes, InuYasha?”

His claws scraped against the wooden floor. “You, uh . . . you want to go for a run?”

She lifted her head to stare incredulously at him. Gazing at the doorway of Sango and Miroku's hut, she couldn't even begin to fathom what, exactly, he was thinking. “In the morning, okay? I'm really tired . . .”

“Keh.”

He was quiet for a minute. Kagome was almost asleep when his voice jarred her awake again. “Kagome?”

She heaved a sigh. “What?”

“Would you, uh . . . make me some ramen?”

“Do it yourself, dog-boy. You know how.”

She didn't see him wince and didn't notice his ears flatten against his head, either. “But it _tastes_ better if you do it.”

“Oh, for the love of—” Kagome cut herself off as she sat up and held out her hand for the ramen.

InuYasha dug one out of her bag and slowly handed it over.

“You're a pain, InuYasha, do you know that?” she grumbled as she ripped the lid open and poured simmering water over the noodles. “Here. Don't burn your tongue.”

He watched her lie back down. She jerked the covers over her head and tried her best to ignore InuYasha.

“Kagome?”

She didn't answer as she uncovered her head to stare at him.

“You want some of this?”

“No, thank you,” she replied, her tone clipped and tight as her reserve stores of patience ran dangerously low.

He wrinkled his nose. “Will you stay up with me while I eat?”

She shook her head as she peeked at her watch. “It's three in the morning, InuYasha.” Seeing the sad expression on his face, she relented, sitting up and stifling another yawn. “You win.”

“Sleeping's overrated,” he grumbled as he ripped the lid off the ramen and dug into it.

“Not to us pathetic humans, it isn't,” she argued as he stuffed nearly half of the noodles into his mouth at once.

“Keh. If I left you alone you'd sleep all the time.”

“Give me a break! I purified a village today, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah . . . I remember.”

Kagome sighed, resting her cheek on her raised knees. “I couldn't have done it without you.”

His snorted as he set the empty cup aside. “You could have. Anyway, you sure you don't want to go for a run?”

She made a face. “I'll go for a run with you if you tell me what you've been dreaming.”

He shrugged carelessly though his ears twitched. “Nice try, wench.”

Kagome pulled her stretchy night-shirt over her raised knees. “If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were trying to keep me awake, InuYasha. Are you?”

“Keh! Dunno what you're talking about.”

For some reason, Kagome didn't buy it. She yawned. InuYasha's frown darkened. “You're acting weird,” she pointed out.

“I am not,” he huffed.

“You are,” she countered.

He stood up and grabbed her hand. “Come on, wench. You're coming with me.”

Kagome groaned but followed InuYasha out of the hut and into the night. He dragged her onto his back and pushed off the ground to sail above the village.

Just why did she have the feeling that he was trying to keep her awake?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  Now why does he want me to stay awake so badly?


	70. Breaking the Hanyou

 

~~ ** _Chapter 70_** ~~  
~ ** _Breaking the Hanyou_** ~

 

Kagome stood under the shower tap with her eyes closed and a frown on her face. ` _InuYasha is so dead when I get my hands on him_ ,' she thought as she jerked the hot water tap to turn it off. Shivering slightly at the welcome flow of shockingly cold water, she sighed, letting the water soothe her.

She ached. Her entire body ached. She felt like she was going to die, to put it simply, and it was entirely InuYasha's fault. She almost hoped he was running all over Musashi trying to find her. At the moment, it would serve him right.

He left with Miroku this morning to take care of a rampant bull youkai in a nearby village. About the second he'd gone, Kagome had curled up on a mat in Sango's hut to catch some sleep since, for some ungodly reason, InuYasha hadn't let her do that in nearly three days, and aside from the fact that she was ready to cry, she figured something had to give . . .

` _It gave, all right_ ,' she thought with an acerbic snort.

Bad enough that she knew InuYasha shook the vial the night before. She watched him do it. It should have still been effective now. It hadn't been anywhere near twenty-four hours, for the effects to wear off. Oh, no, she had stupidly thought that she could sneak a quick nap while they were gone only to find herself in the midst of the most . . . disturbing dream she'd ever had.

InuYasha had been in it, but he wasn't the InuYasha she knew. The gruff yet gentle hanyou had somehow become a complete stranger hidden behind a face that she knew. He'd shocked her with his demands, scared her with his callous actions. The dream spun out of her control into something that scared her. Even still, there had been a wanton sort of excitement to it, a primitive passion that her body had reacted to even if her mind had rebelled.

In the end, it was Marisaiko's crying that jolted her awake, and then Kagome had headed straight for the well. She'd been standing here, in the shower ever since.

` _If I'm having these dreams now, too . . . then that means_ . . .' Kagome's eyes widened in incredulous shock as the last bits of the puzzle fell into place. ` _Hisadaicho wasn't after my bag . . . she . . . she wanted to break the seal on the talisman . . . and InuYasha knew this?_ ' Her gaze narrowed as she turned off the water and flung open the shower curtain. “Oh, just you wait, InuYasha . . . when I get my hands on you . . .”

After dressing hurriedly, she paused long enough to drag her brush through her wet hair before yanking open the bathroom door and stalking toward the kitchen.

“Are you feeling better, dear?” Mrs. Higurashi asked as she looked up from the newspaper.

“No, but I will. Would it still be murder if I killed InuYasha in the past?”

Blatantly surprised by her daughter's uncharacteristic show of animosity, especially where InuYasha was concerned, Mrs. Higurashi let the paper drop as she leaned her elbows on the table to stare thoughtfully at Kagome. “Any reason why you're contemplating this?”

Kagome shrugged as she fought back a blush. “Because he's keeping things from me, and they're things that affect me, too.”

“Men do that, from time to time. They think that things are so horrible that they don't want to concern the ones they love with them. Are you sure that's not what he's doing?”

Kagome made a face as she opened her bag and dumped out the ramen Mrs. Higurashi had packed for the hanyou. “Sure, that's what he's probably telling himself.”

Mrs. Higurashi tried to hide her smile. “So you'll make him pay for it by denying him ramen?”

Kagome snorted. “For starters.” Closing up the bag, she yanked it off the table and slung it over her shoulder. “I'm going back now. See you later.”

“Wait, dear! I got another magazine for you! It's on the table beside the door.”

“Thanks!” Kagome called back as she grabbed the magazine without missing a step.

Wincing at the brilliant sunlight as she stepped outside the shrine, Kagome waited for her eyes to adjust before striding toward the well house.

Kagome ran down the steps to the old well and hopped in as the familiar pinkish light of the time slip enveloped her. ` _How can I get him to tell me? Why is he being so stubborn? Surely it can't be that bad . . . it can't possibly be as bad as the dream I had earlier_ ,' she mused as she felt a very distinct wave of heat wash over her at the unwelcome memory.

She was still trying to come up with a plan to get him to talk as she climbed up the ladder on the Sengoku Jidai side of the well.

She heaved a sigh as she strode toward the forest. Maybe Sango could help her think of a way to get InuYasha to talk. Flipping through the magazine as she traveled the path she knew by heart, she folded it back to read her favorite column, Miss Love.

 

:

 

` _Dear Miss Love_ , 

` _I've been seeing this guy for nearly a year, and we've recently had some problems with something that he confessed he's wanted. He told me he wants oral sex since I am still a virgin and don't really want to go all the way until I am married. I know that other people do this, but I am really put off by the idea. Can you give me some advice?_ '

` _Signed_ ,  
` _I'd rather not_.'

 

:

 

Kagome made a face as she peeked over the magazine at the empty forest trail. She could feel herself blushing as she hurriedly closed the magazine and rolled it up. Sometimes she had to wonder just how desperate some people were, to actually write a magazine for advice. ` _Dear Miss Love_ ,' she thought with an ironic smile, ` _I recently became mates with a stubborn hanyou who won't tell me what he has been dreaming about_ _. . ._ _How can I get him to admit_ _what his fantasies really are_ _?_ '

With a smothered gasp, Kagome's eyes widened as she stopped abruptly. ` _Oh, kami . . . was he dreaming that we . . . that I . . ._ no-o-o-o-o-o . . .' Covering her mouth with her free hand, she could feel the painful heat in her face as she croaked out a weak moan. ` _Eww! Eww, eww, eww, eww!_ '

It took a moment for the initial shock of her thoughts to wear off. Sinking down on a boulder as she dropped the magazine from her slack fingers, she buried her face in her hands and sighed. ` _I can't do that . . . no-o-o_ . . .'

Then again . . . Thinking back to that night by the campfire after the fight with the tiger youkai, Kagome quickly looked up as another sort of understanding dawned on her.

` _Is it that you don't_ want _me to touch you or that you're_ scared _to let me touch you_ _?_ '

` _What?_ '

` _I don't mind_ _._ _I just want you to know that_.'

“InuYasha,” she whispered as she frowned. ` _That's it . . . he's always thought he was tainted and dirty . . . and he's not_ _. . ._ _If I won't do this . . . that's why he won't tell me_.'

She sighed again and shook her head slowly. ` _But what if I really_ can't _do that? It's not him, it's just . . . the idea of . . . it_ . . .'

Drawing a deep breath and shaking herself, she snatched up the magazine and stood up. “First things first, Kagome.” Stepping back onto the trail, she squared her shoulders as grim determination took over. ` _That means I have got to find a way to make him fess up . . ._ _he thinks he can be stubborn? Ha! He's just met his match_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“You grab, I'll shove.”

Sango made a face. “No, that won't work. _You_ grab, and _I'll_ shove.”

Miroku shook his head. “Sango, I think it would be best for everyone involved if you do the grabbing, and I do the shoving.”

Sango rolled her eyes. “You've had more practice, so you should definitely do the grabbing while I do the shoving.”

“Come on, guys, before InuYasha gets back?”

Both heads turned to stare at Kagome who was dancing back and forth from one foot to the other as she glanced toward the forest trail again.

“ _Did you bring ramen for me?_ ”

_Kagome smiled sweetly at her mate as he hunkered down beside her. “You know, Mama bought some, and I forgot it. If you want, you can go get it_.”

_InuYasha stared at her for a moment. “What are you hiding, wench?_ ”

_She blinked innocently. “Me? Hiding things? From you? Would I do that? One of us hiding things is enough, don't you think?_ ”

_He made a face at her blatant jibe and shot to his feet. “Keh! Fine, but I ain't sharing, either_.”

_Kagome had watched him go with a small, gloating smile on her face_.

He'd come back any time, though, and they had to work out the details of the plan before he did.

“You can decide who shoves and who grabs later,” Kagome pointed out. “First, though, we all know what we're doing?”

“Sure,” Sango agreed.

“Me, too!” Shippou piped up.

“Uh huh,” Ichisaru mumbled around a mouthful of pocky.

“Absolutely,” Miroku assured her. “Now rest easy, Kagome. We've got everything under control.”

“Aye,” Kaede added, “now best ye go, Kagome, before InuYasha returns.”

Kagome nodded and hurried away. Shippou ran off with the buckets for water. Ichisaru headed away to gather fire wood.

“I still think you ought to grab while I shove,” Miroku commented.

Sango shot her husband a dark look. “Give up, houshi-sama.”

Miroku shrugged. “Come now, Sango . . .”

She shook her head. “He won't let go without a struggle, houshi-sama . . .”

“Which is precisely why I'll shove him while you grab. That way he won't be able to resist.”

“He has freakish strength! You grab!”

“But he won't tonight, so you grab.”

They stood toe to toe for a few moments, neither one willing to give up. Finally Sango shot him a secretive little smile and shrugged as her smile took on a hint of gloating. “All right, houshi-sama, I didn't want to have to do this, but you're leaving me no choice.”

Miroku eyed his wife nervously.

“Do you like your nice, warm futon?”

“That's not fair,” he complained.

Sango grinned. “As I said. You grab, I shove.”

Miroku heaved a sigh as he wondered just how she'd managed to win that one.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“I don't get it. Where _is_ Kagome?”

“I told you, InuYasha, she's helping Kaede, but she was worried that you'd be found out if you stayed in the village tonight,” Miroku explained. “With the youkai incursions of late, there have been a number of refugees bidding shelter since they know you protect this one.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. Why do all you people insist on acting like I'm dying for the night?”

“Just humor us, then.”

InuYasha glowered at the abandoned hut. Located on the outskirts of the forest away from the other village huts, the old man who used to live here had died over a year ago. InuYasha's glower darkened when he noticed the flicker of a fire shining under the door. “Since when does that hut have a door?”

Miroku shrugged. “It's always had one. Perhaps you simply never took note of it before.”

“Keh! I think I'd know if I'd ever seen a door on it. What are you hiding?”

Miroku clutched his chest as the rings on his Shakuju chimed. “You wound me, InuYasha. Would I—a humble monk in the service of Buddha—hide something?”

“Yes, you, an _ex_ -monk in the service of `piss-off-the-hanyou' would do just that.”

Stopping by the front door, InuYasha crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly as Miroku pulled it open. “Why don't you go inside and wait for Kagome?”

“I'll pass,” InuYasha growled.

Sango emerged from the shadows around the side of the hut. “Shouldn't you go inside before you change?”

“This is stupid.”

Miroku started to say something but stopped, staring as InuYasha changed before his eyes. In the blink of an eye, the silvery locks darkened to black, golden eyes shifting to deep brown—black in the darkness of the night. “Well, I guess it's about time, wouldn't you agree, Sango?”

“Time for what?” InuYasha demanded.

Sango stepped closer as Kaede stepped out of the shadows. “All right, houshi-sama.”

“What the hell are you—?”

“Sorry, InuYasha. I warned you,” Miroku remarked as his hand flashed out, wrapping around Tetsusaiga as he jerked it free from now-human InuYasha. Sango shoved him backward. InuYasha stumbled and lurched toward the doorway a second too late as the monk swung the door closed.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he bellowed as he lowered his shoulder and shoved with all his strength.

“Calm down, InuYasha. It's for your own good,” Miroku called through the door.

“Give me back my sword, you jackass!”

“Oh, no . . . can't do that . . .”

“This is fucking stupid! I'm human, not helpless!”

“But you are staying in there until you confess.”

“Confess what?” InuYasha demanded. “When I get out of here, I'll shred you, I swear!”

“Be good, will you, InuYasha? Kaede needs to concentrate to secure the barrier.”

“The _what?_ ”

“The barrier, now hush.”

“What the fuck is the barrier for?”

“In case you don't give in and tell Kagome what you should have already told her, InuYasha. Now please . . . silence.”

InuYasha growled in frustration as he threw his shoulder against the door again. It didn't budge.

“You can't get out.”

With a gasp, InuYasha whirled around only to come face to face with his mate—who was smiling rather smugly where she sat by the fire. “You sneaky wench!”

Her grin widened. “And you said I couldn't lie. Pretty good poker face, if I do say so, myself.”

“You can't . . .”

“Can't what?” she asked pleasantly.

“You can't _cage_ your mate!”

She wrinkled her nose. “I didn't cage you, InuYasha. I just didn't _tell_ you what I was planning.”

He snapped his mouth closed on his retort as he stomped over to the tiny window, stifling a groan at the glowing pink barrier that covered the hut completely.

“They had to take Tetsusaiga away from you so you couldn't break the barrier and escape it,” Kagome explained in the same pleasant tone.

“As soon as I get that fucking door open—”

“Ofuda. You can't get out tonight. They'll unseal it tomorrow, but you can't get through the barrier without being purified . . . Since you're human tonight, though, they had to use the Ofuda.”

“Why do I think you're enjoying this?”

She blinked innocently. “I'm enjoying this about as much as you've enjoyed not telling me things that I need to know . . . like the fact that Hisadaicho broke the seal on the talisman.”

He winced. “Y-y-you know about that?”

“Yeah,” she countered as sudden fire blazed to life in her gaze. “Want to know how I found out?”

He flopped down against the wall. “No,” he grumbled, unable to keep the flush off his face.

Kagome sighed. “Look, InuYasha, I know you don't want to tell me, but . . . you have to. The dream I had today . . .” she trailed off, staring at her hands for a moment before slowly lifting her gaze to meet his. “The dream I had today . . . scared me. You _have_ to tell me. If you'd have told me, I wouldn't have had to do this.”

InuYasha shot to his feet and threw himself against the door again. “Good night, you two! See you in the morning,” Miroku called out, his voice growing more distant as he spoke.

Kagome shook her head as she stood slowly and wandered over to the window, staring out at the night sky. “Is it really so awful?”

InuYasha snorted but didn't answer.

“It might not be, you know. Maybe what ever it is you think is terrible really isn't . . .”

His recalcitrant expression told her plainly that he didn't believe that in the least.

Kagome stifled a sigh as she turned away from the window. “We have water and firewood and food . . . we can stay here indefinitely if we have to. We're staying put until you tell me what you've been dreaming.”

When he gave no outward indication that he'd heard her at all, Kagome shook her head and dug her magazine out of her bag. “Have it your way, baka,” she informed him tightly. “Just remember that the more tired I get, the crabbier I get, and the crabbier I get, the more likely to cry I'll get, too.”

She didn't miss the flinch that passed over InuYasha's features as she stuck her nose in her magazine and rolled her eyes. ` _Baka! Why does he have to make everything so stupidly difficult? It's like pulling teeth_ . . .' Fingering the fang that hung around her neck, Kagome snorted inwardly. ` _Even pulling teeth wasn't this insanely difficult, come to think of it_ . . .'

Something told her it was going to be a very, very long night . . .

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  …I can't believe she tricked me!!!


	71. Confessions

 

~~ ** _Chapter 71_** ~~  
~ ** _Confessions_** ~

 

Kagome rubbed her sleep-gritty eyes and slumped back against the wall with a dejected sigh. She was at her wits' end. True to form, InuYasha's stubborn streak had kicked in, and he refused to admit anything. On top of that, he was also making sure she didn't get any sleep, which she was grateful for since the dream she'd had before was disturbing enough but she was absolutely exhausted.

` _I know I love him_ ,' she thought as she wrinkled her nose and glared at him out of the corner of her eye, ` _but I can't exactly remember_ why _, at the moment_ . . .'

She sighed again. ` _All right, that was harsh._ _What am I going to do?_ _Maybe he can go without sleep for awhile. I can't_.'

InuYasha shook his head as he straightened his back. ` _He's tired, too. Oh, why does he have to be so stubborn? Why can't he just tell me?_ '

Stealing another glance at him, Kagome's frown deepened. She'd spent more time thinking about it than she probably should have. Ever since she'd read the letter to Miss Love, she couldn't stop wondering if that was what he had been dreaming. If it was, though, why wouldn't he tell her?

She bit her lower lip. ` _Unless he's embarrassed about it_ . . .' She made a face. That could be it. For that matter, she was embarrassed, just thinking about it. InuYasha was a product of this time. He probably hadn't even realized it could be done . . .

She'd given it a lot of thought, a lot of soul searching. The idea had been enough to freak her out when it had first occurred to her. It had shocked her, frightened her. Flashes of past conversations, fragments of memories that she'd forgotten made her rethink it. One stuck in her head, the day they'd met Jinenji. The look on InuYasha's face when he'd admitted to her, ` _I'm not really one or the other . . . not really youkai, not really human. I'm not either. That's all. Ther_ _e was no_ _place for me, so I had to make one for myself. Then I realized I had a place but I was the only one in it. I didn't know any other way to live_.' That day seemed so long ago now but Kagome knew that it was the things that InuYasha didn't say that hurt him the most.

` _And if I can't do that for him, he'll keep thinking that he's nothing but a worthless half-breed_ . . .'

She frowned as she shifted her gaze to the fire. She had to find out for sure . . . “InuYasha?”

“What?”

“Will you please tell me?”

He ignored her question.

Kagome rubbed her eyes again. “Come on, InuYasha . . . isn't there a law against murdering your mate?”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! You ain't dying, wench.”

“You want to bet? I am _dying!_ I can tell! This lack of sleep is going to kill me!”

Opening his mouth to retort, InuYasha snapped it closed when Kagome burst into great, wrenching sobs, shoulders shaking as she buried her face in her raised knees. “Oi! Don't—don't—-stop that!”

She cried louder, and InuYasha winced. Scooting toward her slowly, unsure if she was simply trying to lure him in for the proverbial kill or not, he made a face as he slowly reached out his hand to touch her hair. “Don't cry,” he said quietly. “Why are you crying?”

“B-Because,” she stuttered as she tried to swallow a sob, “I'm exhausted, and y-you're a b-b-baka!”

InuYasha winced but scooted closer. “Kagome . . .”

She sniffled but let him pull her against his chest. They sat in silence as Kagome's unsteady breathing rattled through him. He sighed. To be honest, he was exhausted, too, and the fatigue was exacerbated by his current human state.

“Why would she want to break the seal?” Kagome finally whispered as she played with a lock of InuYasha's midnight hair. “Why is she doing this?”

Too tired to think, too tired to try to comprehend what Hisadaicho's plan really was, InuYasha sighed. “I don't know.”

“What does she gain by breaking the seal on the vial?”

He shrugged as he stroked Kagome's back. ` _Maybe it ain't what she gains from that . . . maybe she'd gain something if we . . . broke the toxin . . . ?_ ' A sudden shiver ran up his spine. The unsettling sense of foreboding cut him to the quick.

“InuYasha?”

“Hmm?”

“. . . In your dreams I did . . . something . . . and you liked it, right?”

InuYasha leaned his head to the side to look at her face. Her bangs hid her eyes but he could see the soft blush that filtered into her cheeks. “Keh.”

“If you liked it,” she went on, her voice almost a monotone, “then why can't you tell me?”

He didn't answer her. He couldn't. Glaring over her head at the dancing flames in the fire pit, he blinked as the soothing lull tried to lure him to sleep.

Kagome sighed, her breath catching just once. “If you told me what it is, maybe I would do, uh, what you dreamed,” she admitted.

He grimaced as his eyelids grew heavier and heavier. ` _But I . . . I can't tell you, Kagome_ . . .'

When the sky darkened to black, as the stars disappeared one by one in the pre-dawn stillness minutes later, they were both fast asleep.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Staring over the small village in the darkest moments just before dawn, she smiled as one hut in particular captured her attention. Set away from the others on the edge of the forest and immersed in a vague pink aura, it glowed like a beacon in the night. ` _A calculated risk, perhaps_ . . .'

Weren't the best things in life things that one had to risk in order to gain? In the end, wouldn't that be the ultimate payoff? Certainly, there was a risk involved. In forcing InuYasha and his mate to break the effects of the toxin, she was assuring that he would see her in her true form. The illusion of being the one he loved would end, and with that the protection that the ruse offered against him. ` _But_ _the ultimate comeuppance_ _. . ._ _It is a beautiful plan_.'

Lavender eyes swept over the landscape, glowed in the darkness. ` _I will risk it all . . . and I shall prevail_.'

The miko was strong enough to purify an entire village, or so Hisadaicho had learned. Still she wasn't quite strong enough. ` _This will bring her full power_ _. . ._ _What should be a gift of love will be her ultimate downfall . . . and then_ . . .'

Her smile widened. ` _And then, my koishii . . . the fruits of my efforts will ripen_ . . .'

Turning her back on the village, Hisadaicho strolled back into the forest. ` _A tainted hanyou and his precious, precious miko . . . they will destroy themselves._ '

A fantastic sense of repletion rippled through her, the soothing calm as anticipation stuttered to life. Hisadaicho could almost taste it. The harvesting would be simple enough. The pure heart of the miko, so open, so willing to give . . . it would destroy her, too.

She had waited so long, been so patient. Surely this would be sweet; the culmination of her efforts was so close. Hisadaicho threw her head back as laughter welled up inside her, as a giddy pleasure coursed through her. She would bring her koishii back. How ironic that the very ones who had destroyed him would be the ones to give him life again . . .

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“ _I knew you'd be here_.”

_InuYasha glanced up. Sitting_ _on the hill at_ _the sky blackened above, he had been waiting in silence for the sun to rise, for the return of his hanyou senses. “Thought you were sleeping, wench_.”

“ _Sure . . . aren't I still sleeping? Aren't you?_ ”

_He shrugged and held out his hand to her, smiled just a little as her fingers touched his. “I didn't notice before, Kagome. Your hands . . . they're really small_.”

_She wrinkled her nose as he tugged on her hand to pull her into his lap. “Is that bad?_ ”

“ _Keh. Why would it be? Just proves you're a pathetic human_ . . .”

_She_ _tugged his hair playfully. “_ _Baka_.”

_He pulled her closer, wishing that his senses were normal again. Of all the things he hated about being human, the feeling that his senses were numbed was the worst_.

“ _What are you thinking about?_ ”

_InuYasha shrugged. “Nothing._ ”

_She sighed. “You know, you don't have to hide things from me anymore. You don't have to hide things in your dreams_.”

“ _Keh!_ ”

_She giggled as she snuggled closer, tilting her head back as she gazed up at him, her eyes cast in shadows by the black sky overhead. “InuYasha?_ ”

“ _Hmm?_ ”

“ _Are you going to kiss me?_ ”

“. . . _I'm human, Kagome. Just wait, can't you?_ ”

_She turned toward him, cupped his face in her hands as she gently pulled him down. “Nope, I don't think I can_.”

_The sweetness of her breath fanning over his lips forced a soft groan from him as he clung to the one thought, the one real truth_. `Not until the sun rises . . .' _Warm, vibrant, she was like a delicate bird in his arms, fluttering fingers stroked his cheeks as her kiss stripped away his resistance. Dulled senses didn't matter as she assaulted his mind, as her body pressed against his_.

_She was a paradox in motion, a wanton spirit with a tangible heart. She rose against him_ _like the_ _cresting_ _tide, receding as softly as she had come. The ebb and flow of the kiss became a turbulent emotion. The swell of feel_ _ing_ _, the tempting sensation, the torrent of a need evolved into a force_ _so strong that he gr_ _oaned_.

_Her lips opened to him, beckoned him, invited him as her body gave way. Hands dropping to his haori, she clung to him, offered him everything without saying a word. The girl he first met had somehow become the woman he knew now._ _She was a powerful force wrapped in softness, in light_.

_Delving his tongue into her mouth to taste her, feeling her shiver in his arms, he held her closer. She moaned softly as his kiss drew her out. Dream and reality were mixed, mingled, tumbling one into the other_ _as lines blurred, as impression soared_.

_Kagome dragged her mouth away from his as InuYasha's head fell back. The gentleness gave way to the heated press of scorching lips, trailing down his chin, his jaw, settling on the unsteady pulse in his neck. She was relentless, unbroken, driven by a force that he couldn't see_ _,_ _as an infusion of heat, of energy_ _,_ _jolted through him_.

_Opening his eyes, staring at the_ _starless,_ _oppressive_ _sky, InuYasha couldn't control the tremors that coursed though him. Kagome's hands pushed aside his haori, his undershirt, stroked his skin as she ignited fires wherever she touched him. He tightened his arms around her, holding her as close as he dared_ _,_ _as her body heat_ _radiated through the thin cotton blouse she wore_.

_She pulled away and sat up, eyes banked with the deepest fire as she extricated herself from his grasp, as she stepped back. Chest rising and falling with her uneven breathing, she didn't look away from him as she slowly worked the buttons of her blouse. InuYasha could only stare as Kagome shrugged her shoulders as the material fell away. The zipper on her skirt was obscenely loud as she pulled it down and let the garment slip over her hips, down her legs._ _She reached up behind her to unclasp the bra. He gasped as her breasts were exposed, as her nipples contracted under his gaze. She uttered a ragged sound, not quite a sigh, not quite a moan_ _,_ _as she hooked her_ _panties_ _with her th_ _umbs and pushed them off_ _. S_ _he stood_ _before him, a vision, something that would disappear if he reached for her. The first rays of sunlight rose behind her, surrounding her with a golden glow, casting every curve of her body in an intricate architecture of shadows._ _The Shikon no Tama_ _,_ _suspended in the rise of her breasts,_ _sparkled, radiated a pinkish light that fused with the soft haze of her aura_ _, the hint of light that emanated from his fang_ _; an ethereal radiance, a haunting recollection of a dream_ . . .

“ _K-Kagome_ . . .”

“ _Yes?_ ”

_He sucked in his breath at the husky quality in her tone, at the rampant burn that was almost painful that swelled in his body. “I . . . you . . . is this real?_ ”

“ _It's as real as you want it to be, InuYasha_.”

_She stepped toward him, caught his hands to pull him to his feet. Her lips brushed over his bared chest as she grasped the talisman and jerked it, breaking the cord that held it as she flung it away. He understood her message. It was worthless now, anyway._ _He started to reach for the ties on his hakama. She gently brushed his hands aside. “The first time . . . that was for me. This time is for you_.”

_He didn't really understand what she meant, but he made no move to stop her as she slipped his shirts off and worked the ties of his hakama. Closing his eyes as she finished removing his clothing, he balled his hands into fists at his sides, waiting for her, for whatever she would ask of him. He grimaced as her hands brushed over his skin. His body rebelled, as though he needed to be closer to her_ _, and yet he resisted, muscles strained, breathing labored. He sought a control that was quickly slipping away_.

_He felt her shift, knew she had moved, didn't dare open his eyes. Her hands were stroking his sides, his waist, his hips. He felt the heat of her breathing. The understanding didn't permeate the haze she'd created around his mind. Nothing made sense to him as the_ _palpitations in his body_ _announced the return of his hanyou state mingled together with something far more precarious. Sound mingled with scent as his senses returned, staggered him with a powerful vindictiveness just seconds before he realized what she was about to do. He_ _tried_ _to tell her to stop, that he didn't want her to do it. The words never came as a growl erupted inside him, as_ _she_ . . .

His eyes shot open as he staggered back. He was still in the hut, standing by the window and blocking the wan morning light as Kagome knelt before him, doing the one thing that he hadn't wanted her to do, the one thing that he hadn't been able to tell her. Fighting against the weakness that suddenly coursed through him, InuYasha uttered a half-whine, half-growl, as he stared in horrified fascination at Kagome. He wanted to stop her but couldn't. The sensations she unleashed on him were brutal and tender at the same time. She held onto his hips, her movements jerky, uneven, so different from the Kagome in his dreams, and yet he knew in his heart that this was the Kagome he wanted; the real Kagome, the beautiful heart and the shining soul of the woman.

“Ka . . . gome . . .”

She made a sound in reply but didn't stop. The reverberation shot straight through him.

“Kago . . . me . . . st-stop.”

She did, slowly sitting back on her heels as her eyes slowly opened. He dropped to his knees, forced himself to look her in the eye, braced himself for the disgust that she wouldn't be able to hide.

A banked fire burned behind her gaze, a passionate heat that held no contempt, no revulsion. She was still struggling to breathe, her breasts rising and falling with her efforts. She managed a shaky smile, her eyes still clouded with the remnants of sleep though he knew she was as awake as he was. “All right, dog-boy. You woke me up from a really nice dream . . . so you owe me.”

“Kagome . . .”

Words fell away as he leaned forward to kiss her. What he meant to be a tender show of emotion spiraled out of his control. The instant their lips touched, she wrapped her arms around him, crawled forward, as though she had to be closer.

He lifted her, carried her to the futon that he'd tried to ignore all night. She arched like a cat when he laid her down, turned toward him as he stretched out beside her. He leaned on his elbow, stared at her as he stroked her cheek with his knuckles, loved the feel of her satiny skin under his fingers as a foreign sense of peace stuttered to life and spread through him. She closed her eyes, leaned into his touch as a gentle smile turned up the corners of her lips, swollen and rouged from his kisses.

Catching her chin with his crooked index finger, he kissed her softly, feathering his lips over hers. The contact was enough to bring her closer as she melded her body around his. Her hand rested over his heart, her fingers gently kneading the muscles as she pressed her hips into his, using her body to tell him what she wanted.

He kissed her shoulder, the soft hollows of her collarbones, leaning toward her until she gave in and lay back. Ignoring the painful ache that drove him, he explored her body slowly, learning everything about her, committing her to his memory. Her hushed sighs, her quiet moans tempered his need. She tugged on his shoulders but couldn't move him as he dropped his mouth over one of her breasts. With a strangled gasp, she rose up against him, her fingernails digging into his shoulders as she whispered his name.

Trailing kisses over her body, licking her skin that burned under his perusal, savoring the taste of her as she trembled, as she clung to him, InuYasha showed her all the things he wasn't good at voicing. He loved the soft contours of her, stroked the intense fire that raged through her, knew that the same ache that plagued him was spiraling through her now. Her scent spiked around him as another need burgeoned. He knew the scent. He'd tasted her before. The same obsession drove him as he scooted lower, as he gently pulled her thighs apart.

She whimpered but seemed to understand as she lifted her hips, offering herself to him. The invitation was a heady thing, the dizzying scent of her was too compelling to ignore. Driven by his desire to touch her, taste her, feel her, he flicked his tongue against her. Something wild and beautiful shot through her and into him, something he understood but couldn't name. Her entire body contracted as she rasped out his name again. Her passion fed his as he kissed her, licked her, teased her. Darting his tongue into her, his relentless discovery was rewarded as she cried out time and again. He pushed himself beyond what he thought he could endure as the ache inside him escalated into an excruciating pain. His nerves unraveled, one by one; the solace he sought was the soft sigh that escaped her. She was his strength and his weakness, his sole reason to hope.

The scent of her was heavy in the hut, perfuming the air and mingling with her pleading moans. Her body writhed, beckoned him as he savored the liquid heat that dripped down her thighs. Compelled to please her, to show her how much he cherished her, he took her pleasure as his own, let her needs guide him.

“InuYasha . . .”

The raw pleading in her voice was enough. Rising up on his hands and knees, he crawled over her, issuing a low growl to draw her attention. She slowly opened her heavy-lidded eyes, stared at him through the black fringe of her lashes. Her face was flushed, her lips parted as she tried to breathe. “Stay with me, Kagome.”

She nodded as he leaned on his elbows, stroked her hair. Gently kissing her forehead as she wrapped her arms around him, he pressed into her. Her gaze burned in his mind, cut through the pleasant haze as he was captured. Unable to look away, he marveled at the intensity, the emotion that consumed her. Something in the depths of her stare spoke to his soul; the promise of her body and mind, of her love was a humbling thing. She broke him and restored him, took his fears and turned them into vows of forever. He lived in her, gave to her but what she gave back was far more precious. She was his will, his reason, his sanity, his salvation.

Her body surged around him, drawing him closer to the spinning vortex, the precarious edge of the untamed. Her eyes drifted closed for a moment before slowly opening again. In that breath had come an unreasonable panic, a sense that he was somehow losing her. The reassurance of her gaze pacified him, and he tried to smile but groaned instead as she contracted around him.

Breaking into a light sheen of sweat as he fought against the desire to let go, he kissed her softly, gently. She arched up to meet his body, held him tight as she murmured words that made no sense. Her tongue pressed against his, flicked against his as he thrust in her. She gasped softly as he nibbled her lips, as he grazed his fangs over her.

The tension in him grew tighter, thicker, stronger. With every movement, with every heartbeat, the calculated hold over his baser instincts became harder and harder to control. Her kisses shifted into something more demanding, almost urgent as she whimpered again. Her body fluctuated around him, drew him deeper, closer to the spiraling turbulence between pain and pleasure. She arched against him, meeting his movements with a vicious abandon.

“Kagome . . . I . . . can't . . .”

Her answer was another kiss as she laid bare the emotions in her heart, in her soul. Kagome had set him free. She'd freed him from Kikyou's enchantment. She'd freed him from his own feelings of loneliness and bitterness. She'd freed him from the stigma of being neither man nor youkai. She'd freed him from the fear that he would never be worthy of anyone's compassion. With a harsh cry as her name tumbled from his lips, she set him free again.

The first thing he realized as his mind slowly cleared was that Kagome was gently stroking his back. He braced himself on his elbow and stared into her eyes. “Why do you look so happy, wench?”

Her smug little grin widened. “Oh, I don't know . . .”

“I don't think I like that look . . .”

She giggled, reminding him that he hadn't moved at all from the waist down, and that he was still very aware of her body. He groaned. “Was that it, do you think?”

Stifling a yawn, InuYasha twitched his ears. Wincing at her question, he rolled them over so that she was cradled against his chest. “Probably,” he forced himself to say.

She ran her fingers lightly up and down the vale over his heart. “Why didn't you want to tell me?”

Screwing his face up in a dark scowl, he snorted. “Keh! It wasn't . . . I didn't . . . I don't want that. You . . . you deserve respect, not . . . damn it.”

She squirmed around to look him in the eyes. “You thought that you were disrespecting me?”

His blush was enough of an answer, in his opinion. He wrinkled his nose and looked away.

“I thought maybe that was what I needed to do, to break the toxin,” she admitted, “but that's not why . . . I don't think you're tainted or dirty or . . . any of that. You're everything to me.”

InuYasha didn't answer right away. Remembering another time and place, another voice who had said the same words, he swallowed hard. ` _You are everything, both human and youkai. Your humanity allows you to feel. Your youkai allows you to protect, and_ that _makes you everything_.'

If only it were easier to believe that . . .

“Hello in there! Are you two still alive?”

InuYasha growled at the sound of Miroku's cheerful voice. Grabbing the blanket and tossing it over Kagome as he shot to his feet to retrieve his hakama, InuYasha opened his mouth to demand that Miroku remove the seals as well as the barrier. He snapped his mouth closed as his head swung around to regard Kagome with a speculative frown.

“You can remove the Ofuda,” Kagome called out. “InuYasha—”

He dove for her, covering her mouth with his hand as he propelled her back against the futon. “Hush, wench! Tell `em I ain't told you yet.”

Amusement lit Kagome's eyes as she struggled to stave back a giggle. “But you did.”

He snorted. “Keh! I didn't. You _guessed_.”

Kagome did giggle as she rolled her eyes. “Leave the barrier, Miroku. InuYasha's being stubborn.”

Listening for the sounds of the Ofuda being peeled away from the structure, InuYasha skulked over to the window in time to see Miroku standing just outside the barrier, staring thoughtfully at the hut. Catching sight of InuYasha, the ex-monk shook his head slowly as a little grin surfaced before he turned away and headed back toward the village.

` _Maybe_ ,' InuYasha thought as he glanced back at Kagome, ` _maybe she had the right idea, after all . . . wonder how many days we can stay in here before they figure out that I don't mind this?_ '

As though she could read his mind, Kagome giggled and scooted over. InuYasha returned to the futon and stretched out as Kagome curled around him. She yawned as she nestled closer and closed her eyes. “G'night, InuYasha.”

“Oi!”

She smiled dreamily. “Just remember this the next time you try to keep something from me.”

He grimaced.

` _All right_ ,' he admitted with a snort of disgust as Kagome's breathing evened out in sleep, ` _so maybe I did deserve that_ . . .'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Miroku:**  
>  …Not even InuYasha is THAT stubborn …


	72. The Exterminators' Village

 

~~ ** _Chapter 72_** ~~  
~ ** _The Exterminators' Village_** ~

 

“So you used to live here?” Ichisaru asked as he shifted his troubled gaze around at the ruins of the exterminators' village.

Sango nodded with a sad smile as her eyes wandered to the neat rows of graves, now covered with fresh green grass. “Yes, I grew up here . . . My father, my brother . . . Kohaku . . . and I . . .”

Kagome stood back near the gates with InuYasha beside her as Shippou and Kirara knelt beside Kohaku's grave. “No matter how much time passes, Sango still misses them all like it was yesterday,” Kagome murmured, unconsciously leaning toward InuYasha as he slipped his arm around her shoulders.

“Keh. Of course she does. Don't matter how much time's passed. When you lose someone, you always miss `em.”

She tilted her head to gaze at him. His eyes swept over the ruins of the village with a sad sort of fierceness, and anger that was deeper than anyone could know. ` _He's thinking about Naraku, and all the lives he destroyed_ _. . ._ _Is he thinking about Kikyou?_ ' Kagome blinked in surprise. For once, the thought of the dead miko didn't hurt . . .

` _Maybe it's because . . . I know InuYasha_ _wants_ _to be with me, even if he still loves her somewhere deep down . . . but I know he loves me, too_.'

She smiled as the breeze ruffled her hair. Something was different now. Something had changed in the days that they'd spent sealed into the hut outside the village. As if the toxin had been the one thing standing between InuYasha's ability to show his feelings, he seemed changed now. He still got twitchy when anyone noticed his outward displays of affection. She figured he always would.

Those days inside . . . He'd been so gentle, so caring, as though he hadn't wanted to leave her side at all. Even when she removed the barrier so they could sneak away in the night to bathe in the hot spring, he hadn't wanted to stop touching her. When they got back, it was InuYasha's idea to put the barrier back up so that no one would know, come morning. He'd even ignored Miroku's teasing the second morning. As the ex-monk deliberately stepped into and out of the barrier at will to goad InuYasha, the hanyou had made a decent show of irritated frustration that had disappeared as soon as Miroku was out of sight.

What Kagome found most remarkable was that InuYasha's attention wasn't contingent upon sex, either. He seemed to be content just to know that she was still with him, and even though he had been more than willing to be intimate with her, the tenderness he showed in his own gruff way had brought tears to her eyes more than once. ` _Maybe_ ,' she thought as she leaned closer to him, ` _maybe the guilt_ _from_ _his dreams had been deeper than I imagined_ . . .'

Her smile widened as she remembered his reaction, when they'd finally come out of the hut after three days.

“ _Ah, so you finally broke,” Miroku commented with a wide grin. Sitting in the grass under a sakura tree, the ex-monk couldn't contain his amusement as InuYasha's face reddened_.

“ _Keh. Shut the hell up, pervert_.”

“ _The toxin?” Miroku asked with a pointed lifting of his eyebrows_.

_InuYasha wrinkled his nose. “I still owe you a beating, don't I? Give me back my fucking sword_.”

_With a chuckle, Miroku left to retrieve Tetsusaiga. Sango grinned. “You two look . . . rested_.”

_Kagome blushed as she knelt on the grass. Deliberately focusing her attention on Marisaiko, she picked up the happy baby and completely ignored Sango's observation_.

“ _Kagome!” Shippou hollered as he darted out of Kaede's hut and ran toward her. “I was starting to think you weren't ever going to get InuYasha to talk!_ ”

“ _Quiet, runt, or you can stay with the old hag instead,” InuYasha growled_.

_Shippou blinked innocently. “Are you finally going to build Kagome a hut?_ ”

_InuYasha snorted. “Keh! I don'_ _t have to._ ”

_Kagome glanced back at him as InuYasha jerked his head toward the hut they'd just come from. “InuYasha?_ ”

_He shrugged. “It's mine. I claim it_.”

_Kagome shook her head. “You have a bad habit of claiming things, InuYasha_.”

_Sango choked back a laugh as Miroku stopped dead in his tracks, face contorting as he, too, struggled not to laugh. InuYasha shot him a piercing look as he snatched Tetsusaiga out of his hands and jammed it through his waist band_.

_Realizing a little too late just what she had implied, Kagome studiously avoided the teasing as she concentrated on the giggling girl in her lap. At nearly four months old, Marisaiko was chubby and happy, obviously doted on. The slight pain in Kagome's heart still nagged her, but she knew that it would probably always be there. It wasn't a horrible thing. It meant she loved the little girl, too_.

_Blinking her violet eyes as she quietly regarded Kagome, Marisaiko suddenly giggled as she grabbed InuYasha's fang_.

“ _We were thinking of visiting the exterminators' village,” Miroku remarked as he stopped beside InuYasha. “Sango wanted to show Mari where she grew up_.”

_Kagome looked up at InuYasha. “Why don't we all go? It's been awhile since we were there, and I'd like to talk to Old Seer again_.”

_InuYasha shrugged, as though it didn't matter to him. She didn't miss the amused glint in his eyes or the slight upturn to his lips. “I forgot she lives near there. Whatever, wench_.”

_Her gaze skittered away as heat infused her cheeks_ _—_ _again. “I should go back, then. I need to get clean clothes_.”

“ _And ramen_.”

_Kagome rolled her eyes but grinned as she handed Marisaiko to Sango and stood up. “And ramen,” she agreed. She reached for her backpack but InuYasha was quicker. He grabbed it and swung it over his shoulder. “Thank you_.”

“ _Yeah, yeah. Come on, Kagome_.”

InuYasha's hand tightened on her shoulder, shook her slightly to bring her out of her reverie. “You okay?”

Kagome blinked quickly and smiled at the concern in his gaze. “Yeah, of course.” Turning her attention back to their friends, she frowned thoughtfully. “The village isn't sad anymore.”

InuYasha's hand fell away as he crossed his arms together. “You think so?”

She shook her head slowly. “Yeah . . . the sadness is gone. It's ready to live again. I wonder if Sango senses it, too?”

He shrugged. “Could be. She's perceptive.” Setting her backpack down, InuYasha turned toward the gate.

“Where are you going?” she called after him.

“Hunting. Want to come?”

She made a face. “I'll pass, dog-boy.”

“Then stay here with Sango and Miroku.”

Kagome watched him leave with a smile on her face.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

The field was quiet, mellow, full of life that stilled as she wandered through. Ahead she could hear the call of birds, the twittering of small animals. They used to ignore her. She could wander through this same meadow for hours as the sounds embraced her. She had somehow become contemptible to them.

She smiled. Her obsession had grown. Swelling into a driving need, goading her further into the darkness, and yet she welcomed it. The knowledge that it was all coming to fruition was heady, delicious, as necessary as a lover's caress.

Hisadaicho stopped; stared at the grassy knoll where she'd first met him, her koishii. Traveling through with his retainers, he sat straight and proud atop his horse. She had been gathering herbs for Old Seer, but when she gazed up at the young man, she'd felt something she never had before. A fluttering of excitement in her breast, a stirring of emotion that she hadn't understood had nearly overwhelmed her. He hadn't stopped but the little smile he offered her had unleashed something wicked, dark, in her.

_She recognized him right away. Identifiable by his raiment, his bearing, she knew he was a lord, perhaps a prince. Something in his eyes spoke to her, and she nodded in understanding_.

_She waited impatiently for the fall of evening shadows, slipping quietly from Old Seer's hovel to return to this place. As the sun sank over the horizon, as the first stars of the night twinkled to life, she tried to be patient. He was coming. She saw it in his eyes. His promise had been voice with indefinable words, in the lingering gaze they'd shared_.

_The soft thud of his horse's heels brought her out of her musings. Again her heart quickened, again she felt the stirrings deep inside. He reigned in his horse, dropped to the ground, smiled at her in a shy sort of way_ _. His deep brown eyes seemed fathomless in the night, and he bowed to her. “I hoped I would meet you again_.”

“ _Yes,” she whispered, her heart thundering in her ears_.

“ _Tell me your name?_ ”

_She ducked her head, unable to control the tremors in her heart. “Emi, my lord._ ”

_He smiled. “Blessed with beauty . . . how befitting_.”

_She blushed at his compliment, at his quiet show of respect. “Thank you . . . may I . . . may I ask your name?_ ”

_His smile widened as he inclined his head in apology. “I am_ —”

“Emi . . . why have you returned?”

At the intrusion upon her memory, Hisadaicho pivoted slowly, stared at Old Seer as a trace of a smile broke over her face. “Old woman . . . be easy. I have not come to do you harm . . . this time.”

Old Seer pointed her walking stick at the hanyou. “What is it you seek to do?”

Hisadaicho shrugged. “I was simply passing through.”

“And I say you lie.”

“Think what you will. It should be enough that I do not choose to kill you . . . yet.” She turned on her heel and strode toward the forest. Why had she come here? Was it a simple refreshing of her memories? To reinforce her own resolve? It didn't matter, not in the end. She would have it all. She only needed to be patient just a little while longer.

“He will destroy you,” Old Seer warned. “I have foreseen this!”

Hisadaicho kept walking, ignoring the old woman as she strode toward the forest. ` _Destroy me? Impossible. I am eternal . . . I_ will _have it all_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Have you spoken to Old Seer before, Sango?”

Sango worked a stick out of Marisaiko's grasp and glanced at Kagome. “No, I haven't. I remember Father mentioning an old woman with the sight before but I never met her.”

Kagome stirred the pot of mixed spring vegetables and rabbit meat that was stewing over the fire. “Hisadaicho used to be her apprentice.”

“She was?”

“She was a human named Emi. Old Seer said that she left for a man but she has no idea how she became what she is now.”

Sango stared at Kagome thoughtfully. “You think you can get through to her, don't you? You think you can save her.”

Kagome bit her lip and shrugged as she set aside the spoon. “I don't know if she can be saved. InuYasha doesn't think she can. I just think maybe . . . maybe she can. If any of Emi is left inside her . . .” trailing off with a sigh, Kagome stared at Sango, her eyes begging her friend to understand. “Old Seer said that she used to be good and kind. Isn't there anything left of that in her?”

“You like to believe the best of people,” Sango pointed out gently. “Sometimes . . . but maybe you're right.”

Kagome sighed and shook her head. “I just want to try, but InuYasha won't like it.”

Sango smiled. “You and he . . . you're really close now.”

Kagome finally smiled, too. “Yeah.”

“It's about time. Miroku is very happy for you, too.” She rolled her eyes as she shifted Marisaiko on her lap. “He thinks that he can get away with teasing InuYasha more. I told him that wasn't a good idea.” She glanced at the empty doorway. “If they're not back in ten minutes, I'll start digging his grave.”

Kagome stood up and wandered over to the doorway to peek outside at the falling blanket of night. “I wonder what's taking them so long.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“You know, InuYasha, not that I doubt you in any way, but . . .” Miroku mused as the hanyou sniffed the ground. “Are you sure you aren't . . . smelling things?”

InuYasha glared over his shoulder at the ex-monk and snorted. “Keh! There ain't a damn thing wrong with my sense of smell. I'm telling you, I smell _her_.”

Miroku frowned. “If you've never seen her before in her true form and during those times, she's smelled like Kagome, how do you know it's her?”

“I remember her stench from the cave, monk. Any more stupid questions?”

Miroku gazed around at the forest, violet eyes troubled, dark. “What would she be doing around here?”

InuYasha stood up, his glower deepened since he hadn't been able to find Hisadaicho's trail. “I don't know, and I don't like it, either.”

“We can keep watch tonight.”

InuYasha shook his head as he turned back toward the village. “She can't be stupid enough to come around. She's got to know that the toxin's broke. Well, she _could_ if she wants to die,” he grumbled as he cracked his knuckles.

Miroku wheeled around and fell into step beside InuYasha. “And you're positive she wants Kagome?”

InuYasha nodded, eyes darkening with the turbulence of his emotions. “Yeah, I am. She'll have to kill me first if she thinks I'll let her anywhere near Kagome.”

“Why does she need her?”

This time InuYasha snorted. “Keh! Hell if I know. What does it matter? She ain't getting her hands on Kagome, and that's that.”

Miroku suddenly grinned as though he just remembered something. He chuckled, shaking his head slowly as the rings of his Shakuju jingled.

“What are you laughing about?”

Miroku cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows innocently. “Nothing . . . nothing . . . I simply found it . . . interesting that you and Kagome were locked into the hut for three days, and no one heard you arguing after . . . that first night . . .”

InuYasha screwed up his face in a scowl as he fought back the rising blush. “Keh.”

Miroku chuckled again but let it drop with a shrug. “I noticed Kagome's necklace. What is that?”

“It's my fang, monk. Totosai made it into a talisman for her.”

“Interesting. I never knew it could be done. Does it protect her?”

“Sorta. It should help me find her, if she's in trouble.”

InuYasha stomped through the village gate, smiling slightly when he saw Kagome standing in the doorway of the small hut. Her face broke into a bright smile as she darted straight toward him. For a moment he thought she was going to throw herself at him. She stopped at the last moment settled for an engaging grin as she whirled around to walk on his other side, hands clasped behind her back. “You're supposed to stay in the hut after dark, wench.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I'm safe. You're here.”

He snorted. “Keh. At least remember your bow and arrows.”

“I don't need them when you're here.”

He grinned.

“Well, I think I'll go find Shippou and Ichisaru, if you two will excuse me,” Miroku cut in, hiding his amusement as he strode away.

Kagome giggled. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

“No . . . it was nothing. Don't worry about it.”

She stared at him for a moment like she was trying to figure out what he was thinking. In the end she sighed and grabbed his hand, tugging until he stopped. “InuYasha, you promised me that you wouldn't keep things from me anymore, remember?”

He grimaced, ears flattening at her gentle reminder. “That promise shouldn't have been made.”

She arched her eyebrows at his surly remark. “What do you mean? You can't go back on your word.”

He snorted. “Keh! You asked me that right after we—Never mind. It wasn't a fair promise.”

Kagome giggled as InuYasha's cheeks reddened. “You still promised.”

“Yeah, yeah, don't remind me,” he grumbled.

She shook her head slowly and crossed her arms over her chest. “So?”

“'So', what?”

“So are you going to tell me what you were looking for?”

Heaving a defeated sigh, InuYasha's frown narrowed into a suspicious glower. “I smelled her.”

Instant alarm registered on Kagome's features, her eyes widening with her shock. “Hisadaicho?”

InuYasha jerked his head once to confirm her question. “Yeah. I smelled her but I couldn't find her trail.”

Kagome digested that for a moment before gasping softly as she reached out to grab his arm. “You don't think . . . she wouldn't have come after Old Seer, would she?”

He thought that over and shook his head slowly. “I don't know. Go back into the hut while I go check it out.”

Kagome shook her head stubbornly. “No, I'm coming with you.”

He started to argue with her but sighed when he saw the stubborn light in her eyes. “Oi, monk!” he hollered as Miroku and the youkai children headed toward the hut. Miroku stopped, turning his questioning gaze on InuYasha. “Kagome and I are going to go check something.”

Miroku nodded as InuYasha scooped up Kagome and maneuvered her onto his back.

“Hurry, InuYasha!”

He shot a quick glance over his shoulder and snorted. “You want to do the running, wench? I'm going as fast as I can.”

“I know,” she admitted quietly, the worry in her voice apparent. “I'm just worried, is all.”

InuYasha frowned as he pushed off the ground. “Yeah,” he agreed as they soared over the treetops. ` _So am I_ . . .'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Hisadaicho:**  
>  My koishii …


	73. Uprising

 

~~ ** _Chapter 73_** ~~  
~ ** _Uprising_** ~

 

“Old woman!”

“InuYasha!” Kagome reprimanded as InuYasha skidded to a stop before the old hovel. “That's not nice!”

InuYasha made a face. “You want `nice'? Didn't we just sprint all the way here, just to make sure she's still breathing? Keh!”

Kagome slipped off his back and shook her head. “You're a lost cause.”

“Keh.”

Kagome peeked into the hovel with a frown. Old Seer was nowhere to be seen but a pot of thin vegetable broth still simmered on the fire. “Where do you think she is?”

“I don't know, but—” InuYasha cut himself off as he lifted his face as he drew in a deep breath. “Come on.”

As she stepped toward him, InuYasha caught her hand and swung her up into his arms, holding her cradled against his chest. He ran in the direction of Old Seer's scent as Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck. “Is she okay?”

“Dunno . . . I think so . . . but I can smell _her_ , too. That bitch has been here, even if she ain't still here now.”

Kagome's reply was stifled as InuYasha crested a hill, and Old Seer came into view. Slowly making her way toward them leaning heavily on her cane, she lifted a hand to wave but did not quicken her pace.

“Where is she?” InuYasha demanded, eyes flashing as they darted around the meadow.

Old Seer stopped, raising her hooded eyes to stare at the hanyou. “You know she was here.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! Of course I know she was here! I can smell her! Where the hell did she go?”

“She left.”

InuYasha growled. “Damn it. Come on, Kagome.”

Kagome's eyes widened as he reached for her hand. “Wait, InuYasha! You don't mean to go after her now, do you? It's the middle of the night, and—”

“And she keeps getting further and further away, Kagome. Now move it!”

Old Seer coughed, and Kagome winced. Rattling with phlegm yet hacking and raspy at the same time, the old woman stumbled. Kagome caught her arm as InuYasha's head snapped up. “Get her to her hut, Kagome,” he ordered as he rested his hand on Tetsusaiga's hilt, his gaze narrowing as his ears twitched, as he cracked the knuckles in his left hand.

“InuYasha?”

“Go, wench!” he growled.

Kagome slipped her arm around Old Seer's shoulders and hurried away.

InuYasha watched as a man staggered out of the trees. ` _A human . . . ?_ _But I_ _. . . I smell youkai_ . . .”

“Help . . . me . . .” the man said as he stumbled toward InuYasha. “Oni . . . oni . . . my wife . . .”

Wrinkling his nose against the smell of the blood that saturated the man's rough clothes, InuYasha caught him before he fell to the ground. “What do you mean, an oni?” InuYasha demanded as he pressed his hand over the man's bleeding shoulder.

“It came from the forest,” he replied, “came . . . from the . . . forest . . . My wife . . . help her!”

InuYasha flattened his ears as the man expelled a harsh breath, turning his face away as the stench of the tidal breath leaving his body infiltrated the hanyou's nose. ` _Damn!_ ' InuYasha thought as he let go of the man's body. ` _It can'_ _t be an oni_ _. . . it smells like youkai . . ._ _and this guy reeks of it, too_ . . .'

Setting off at a sprint toward the trees, InuYasha followed the dead man's scent. A woman's scream pierced the night as trees melded into a passing blur, the haze of glowing red, burning yellow flickered and gamboled, engulfing the scenery before InuYasha like an eerie tableaux. Macabre shadows cavorting in light and blackness, and as he burst out of the trees, he slid as he saw the hut engulfed in flames.

A hulking form cast in unnatural glare stood on the far side of the hut. The scream came again, and InuYasha ground his teeth together when he saw the woman hanging from the beast's huge paws. Youkai, definitely, yet something seemed wrong. Something vague and untouchable, something sinister and foul . . .

“Put her down!” he bellowed.

The youkai growled, burbled in reply. Grip tightening on the woman, he swept aside the fiery remains of the hut with a sweep of his arm. The woman whimpered, moaned. Her terrified gaze seemed clouded, unsure. InuYasha wasn't sure if she could see him at all as he brought his arm up to cover his nose against the stench of the burning ruins.

` _Don't interfere, weak hanyou_.'

InuYasha narrowed his gaze as the youkai's voice echoed through his head. “What the hell do you think you're doing?” he snarled.

The youkai hesitated. While InuYasha didn't particularly wish to have a conversation with the foul beast, he also knew that he had to keep him occupied until he could figure out a way to save the woman.

She hung limply from the youkai's crushing grip. There wasn't much time. He could sense her resignation, the acceptance of what she believed to be her fate.

` _I was stirred from my slumber by a_ _malignant force. I awoke to hunger, to a desire to feed. I must destroy those humans who sought to subdue me, and if you try to stop me, I'll crush you, as well_.'

“Keh!” InuYasha scoffed, “You're just as weak and pathetic as the youkai I've killed before. You're not special. You're not even tough. Why don't you put the woman down and try to beat me?”

A low rumble like a groan from deep in the earth rose into the air like a dense fog. ` _I sense a presence . . . ahh, Tetsusaiga. I know your sword, hanyou. You are the son of that treacherous Inu no Taisho_.'

` _How does he know my old man?_ ' InuYasha snorted inwardly. What did it matter? “So what if I am?”

` _He killed my kin . . . he left me to die . . . because of his meddlesome ways, I was sealed. Where is your father? I've a thirst for his blood_.'

InuYasha drew Tetsusaiga in a flash of yellow light. “Hate to tell you, bastard. My old man's been dead for years, but if it's revenge you want, feel free to come get it . . . if you think you can.”

` _So the son_ _of a fool is also a fool_.'

The woman yelped as InuYasha grimaced. The youkai's hand started to glow as a hazy, dusky light engulfed both the woman and the youkai. “Help me!” she called, stretching her hand out toward InuYasha.

Gritting his teeth, he watched as the youkai's energy shifted, flowed into the woman. As the youkai crumbled like he was melting away, the woman slowly descended until she stood on the ground. InuYasha stepped toward her. She threw her head back and laughed. “You have a love for humans, hanyou. I can smell them on you,” she said, her voice tinged with the echo of the youkai's rumbling tone.

“Hiding?” InuYasha challenged as he hefted his sword.

She laughed again. The ground trembled under his feet, groaned with the force of the unearthly vibration. The shrieking wail exploded in his ears, and InuYasha turned his head in time to see the wave of youkai streaking the skies from the east.

Shoving off the ground, InuYasha swung Tetsusaiga in a wide arc with a bellowed cry of, “ _Kaze no Kizu!_ ”

The wave of the Wind Scar flashed out from the blade. It hit the youkai head-on in an explosion of yellowish-white light. The screams of the youkai faded away as InuYasha dropped to the ground.

“Is that the best you can do?” he demanded as he turned back to face the woman again.

With an angry cry, the woman raised her arms, stretched out her hands as white light exploded from her fingertips. InuYasha raised Tetsusaiga again as the wind twisted around the blade.

“Help . . . me . . .”

He hesitated as the woman's voice infiltrated his mind. ` _Damn it! She's still in there_ . . .'

Springing off the ground with a low grunt, InuYasha avoided the attack. The blast hit the trees behind him, shaking the earth and sending splinters of wood flying.

With an outraged cry, the woman flew toward InuYasha. Her screech pounded in InuYasha's ears. Through the wreckage of the burnt hut, she shot forward, her face contorted with her absolute rage.

He landed again as he adjusted his grip on Tetsusaiga. A pulse beat sounded in his hands, throbbed in time with his heart as the blade of the fang scaled over.

Her hands erupted once more in white light as she gathered energy to hurl at him. InuYasha raised his sword. She tried to side-step the blade but she was too slow. The blade came in contact with her, and InuYasha grimaced as _Ryuurin no Tetsusaiga_ sucked the youkai out of the woman.

She crumpled to the ground as InuYasha slowly lowered his sword. The heat emanating from the blade still unnerved him, just as it had the first time he'd used the attack years before. He shook off the feeling as he sheathed Tetsusaiga and crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you all right?”

She sat up slowly, rubbing her face with shaking hands. “I . . . I think so . . .”

InuYasha nodded.

“Where's my husband?” she asked as she stood.

“He, uh . . .”

She swallowed hard and nodded, understanding what he didn't say. She didn't cry. “It's been so quiet around here, but lately the youkai . . .”

“Lately?”

The woman sighed. “The last few weeks . . . they appear at night.”

“Come on. You can't stay here.”

“Where are you taking me?”

InuYasha shrugged as he turned back toward the forest. “The old woman.”

He led the way with a troubled frown as the youkai's words came back to him. ` _I was stirred from my slumber by a malignant force_ . . .'

` _A malignant force . . . Hisadaicho? But she can't be powerful enough to release a seal . . . can she?_ '

His frown shifted into a glower. ` _What the hell is she trying to do?_ '

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome handed Old Seer a bowl of broth and knelt beside her. “Did Hisadaicho say why she'd come?”

Old Seer shook her head as she drank. “She insisted that she was simply passing through.”

“You sound like you don't believe her.”

“I have no idea what her motives may be,” Old Seer admitted. “Easier to count the stars in the sky, I think.”

Kagome gazed at the fire as she mulled over Old Seer's words. “Do you think it's possible . . . do you think she still has some good in her?”

She could feel the old woman's stare though she didn't look to confirm it. Old Seer sighed and set her bowl aside. “You wish to save her, do you?”

Kagome didn't answer. She still didn't know why it mattered. Maybe it was just knowing that Hisadaicho used to be human.

“I cannot say whether or not I believe she has anything left inside her heart worth saving, Kagome. I do know that she is not the same girl I knew. If you try to save her, understand that she has chosen her own path. If she cannot be swayed, then do not feel guilty for what you cannot change.”

“I understand,” she said slowly, “I wonder sometimes, if I'm just being overly optimistic. InuYasha thinks I am.”

Old Seer smiled. “Of course he does. His path in life has not been as simple as yours, has it?”

Kagome shook her head.

“Trust your heart, child. You have taught him much in your time together. Perhaps he can teach you some things, as well.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Do you really think Hisadaicho is strong enough to summon youkai?” Miroku asked with a marked frown.

InuYasha stretched out on his side with one knee bent, tapping his toes on the floor. “Dunno . . . it couldn't have been anything else.”

Sango shook her head slowly. “That would mean she's no ordinary youkai, let alone hanyou. If she has the power to awaken sealed youkai—”

InuYasha's abrupt snort cut her off as he added the strum of claws on wood to the rhythmic thumping of his foot. “Keh! As if that matters! I'll get rid of her. If she's causing all this trouble, then she's got to be stopped.”

Kagome cleared her throat. She'd been toying with the hem of her skirt the entire time, listening intently but not adding to the conversation. “And what she did to Kikyou.”

InuYasha's scowl darkened, and he stared at Kagome for a minute before replying. “That, too.”

“It makes no sense, though,” Miroku mused as his scowl darkened. “There has to be something that she wants.”

“It don't matter,” InuYasha insisted. “I'm going to stop her before she can destroy anything else.”

Miroku shook his head, eyebrows furrowed as he stared thoughtfully at the hanyou. “Do you honestly believe it will be as simple as that?”

“She's getting careless, monk. She's gotta know her toxin doesn't work anymore. There's nothing to keep her safe now.”

Kagome stood up and wandered over to her bed roll. Shippou was already asleep on it. She scooted him over carefully and lay down. She couldn't help but feel that Miroku was right. There had to be a reason Hisadaicho was doing the things she was doing. She had to have an objective. They had known what Naraku had wanted. It had helped them destroy him, in the end. What did _she_ want? Somehow Kagome didn't believe it was quite as simple as obtaining the Shikon no Tama. If that was Hisadaicho's motivation, she would have come after it long ago.

The others kept talking around the fire as Kagome's thoughts tumbled around her head. There had to be a better explanation.

InuYasha rolled to his feet and sank down beside her, dragging Tetsusaiga out of his waist band and wrapping his arms around it. He didn't touch her but he shot her a fleeting look, an expression of contentment that warmed Kagome's heart as she closed her eyes.

Perhaps there was a deeper reason. Kagome just wished she knew what it could be . . .

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Ryuurin no Tetsusaiga:** Dragon Scaled Tetsusaiga.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  I hope InuYasha isn't planning anything drastic …  
> ==========


	74. Fighting for Control

 

~~ ** _Chapter 74_** ~~  
~ ** _Fighting for Control_** ~

 

“Do you think so?”

“Keh!”

“Oh, really?”

“Keh!”

“You're lying, I can tell.”

InuYasha peeked over his shoulder at Kagome and snorted. She'd brought up the subject of where they were going to live, but he hadn't wanted to discuss it in depth. She figured it was because of the Hisadaicho business. What surprised her was his attitude about staying in the past. He seemed to think that Kagome wouldn't be able to adjust to life in this time, which wasn't really fair. Hadn't she done that already? “Right, wench. You can't live without your `stuff'.”

She made a face. “I could,” she argued. “I don't have to have all the modern conveniences . . . like . . . heat and hot water . . . and—”

“Keh! See?”

“I'm not the only one who'd miss `stuff', InuYasha. If we couldn't get back to my time, you'd miss the ramen, and don't try to lie.”

InuYasha made a face, and Kagome hid her triumphant smile. “Let's just hope it don't come to that,” he grumbled.

She giggled as she rested her cheek against his shoulder. “Are we going to stop for the night?”

That earned her another dark look. “Can't you sleep back there?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Do you want me to answer that?”

InuYasha grinned before his features shifted into a determined frown. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head. On the one hand, she knew he didn't want to stop. On the other, he had to know that she really couldn't travel through the night, too. She stifled a sigh. ` _Poor guy . . . stuck with a weak human_ ,' she thought but smiled.

There really wasn't a choice, and he knew it. Kagome was right. He couldn't ask her to sleep as they traveled. She never complained about the way they normally got around but he didn't doubt at all that it wasn't the most comfortable mode of transportation for her.

“This looks like as good a spot as any,” InuYasha commented as he slowed his movements. Stepping out of the trees into a small glen, he stared around with a critical eye before allowing Kagome to slide off his back. “I'll catch something for dinner,” he offered.

Kagome nodded as she shrugged off her backpack and stooped down to gather some fire kindling as InuYasha disappeared into the forest.

Sango, Miroku, and the children were heading back to the village while InuYasha and she were trying to find Hisadaicho. Miroku had wanted to come with but in the end, InuYasha had insisted that they'd find her on their own. He seemed to think that he needed to take care of Hisadaicho by himself.

Kagome shook her head as she cleared away grass to form a fire ring. She was used to doing this sort of thing. Funny, really. She'd done it so many times that it seemed like second nature now. Carefully stacking the kindling together in the middle of the cleared area, Kagome stuffed a handful of dried grass underneath the small sticks and dug out her matches.

Moments later, the fledgling fire stuttered to life, burning brighter and more intense as the flames spread and ignited. Carefully, Kagome stuck two larger pieces of wood into the fire and, satisfied with her setup; she retrieved the pot and wandered toward the sounds of water.

InuYasha knelt on a rock in the middle of the stream with his sleeves tied up out of the way while he watched with a concentrated frown. His hand shot out in a blur of movement, snagging a fish that squirmed and wigged in his grasp. She winced as his claws flashed in the waning sunlight. She'd seen him do this many times before, and it never ceased to amaze her, just how fast he could gut and clean a fish. Moments later, the cleaned fish was skewered with one of the sticks he'd stripped and sharpened, and he sat back to wait for the next unsuspecting fish.

“How hungry are you, Kagome?”

She blinked quickly and grinned. She hadn't realized that he knew she was there. She should have known. He always knew, didn't he? “One's fine,” she called back as she stepped out of the tree line and to the water's edge.

He caught another fish as she filled the pot then washed his hands and lunged off the rock to light neatly beside her with his fresh catch. Kagome smiled up at him as they headed back for the camp. “You know, InuYasha, you really are good at that,” Kagome commented as she set the pot near the fire to warm.

“Good at what?”

“Hunting . . . fishing,” she commented lightly as she dragged out the small box where she kept salt and pepper shakers.

She took the stick he held out to her after she sank down beside the fire.

“Kinda had to be,” he grumbled as he stuck his fish over the fire. “I'd have died otherwise.”

Kagome nudged him with her shoulder. “Do you think . . . ?”

InuYasha glanced at her when she trailed off. “What?”

Kagome stared intently at the fire, turning her fish slowly as she tried for a neutral tone. “Do you think . . . I wonder if Hisadaicho can be saved?”

“Why do you think she can?”

“Why do you think she can't?”

InuYasha jammed his sticks between two rocks and snorted as he turned to face her more fully. “Kagome, have you stopped to think that she might have wanted to be what she is?”

Kagome bit her bottom lip. “That might be true, but . . .”

“But what?”

“If she were all bad, why didn't she kill Old Seer?”

InuYasha stared at her for a moment then shook his head slowly before he took up his sticks and extended them out over the fire again.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagura felt the tremors in her body, in her mind. The pain in her chest intensified, swelled as the bitter ache worsened.

` _I . . . won't . . . do . . . it_ . . .'

Sesshoumaru stepped out of the castle. Answering Rin in a hushed tone as the girl ran to his side, he strode purposefully, his eyes as bright as the noonday sun.

“Kagura? Does something trouble you?”

Kagura's lips twisted up in a smile as she let her hand fall away from her chest. “Of course not, Sesshoumaru.”

He regarded her carefully, as though he wasn't sure whether or not he believed her. In the end, he nodded as he slipped his hand under her elbow and escorted her through the garden toward the cliff, to gaze out over the ocean.

` _She is calling to this body_ ,' Kagura realized with an inward grimace. ` _She wants it . . . she wants_ me _to destroy . . . him_ . . .'

Eyes darkening to a fiery, blazing red, Kagura straightened her back, lifted her chin. Defiant, proud, she strolled through the flowering garden, her cheeks flushed from her own rebellious thoughts. ` _Never! I'll never do what she wants! She may control my body, but she cannot control my mind . . . I will not let her destroy Sesshoumaru_ _. . ._ _I will stop her_ . . .'

“You seem so distant, Kagura. Why?”

She smiled at him. “I don't mean to be.”

Sesshoumaru's gaze regarded her slowly. “Are you so sure?”

She waved off his concern, laughing while her mind was screaming. “You doubt me?”

The wind escalated, whipping his silvery hair on the breeze as Sesshoumaru turned his back to her and strode to the edge of the cliff. Staring over the foaming ocean below, the tai-youkai was proud, unashamed. A sudden chill raced up Kagura's spine as another stabbing pain shot through her chest. ` _Damn you, Hisadaicho! I will not do it!_ '

The voice whispered in her mind, Hisadaicho's hurtful incantation. ` _Now, Kagura! Use your fans_ _—_ _the fans_ he _gave you! Kill him, Kagura! Then I shall set you free_ . . .'

Her trembling hand reached for the fans stuck in her waistband. Kagura gasped, fighting with her will, with her soul, with her heart. ` _No!_ '

` _You must! I brought you back! You will do as I say!_ '

Another explosion of pain nearly brought Kagura to her knees. Blinding, engulfing, consuming, it raged through her with a brutal vengeance, with a cruel irony. ` _I will not do it! You cannot control me!_ '

` _Do not cross me, Kagura! I can end your miserable life right now! Do you dare deny it?_ '

` _You don't own me!_ '

Like a thread pulled too tightly, something deep inside her snapped. Hisadaicho's voice faded away as the pain loosened its grip around her heart. Whether for a moment or forever, Kagura didn't know. It had been much too close. If there was a next time . . .

“Sesshoumaru,” she whispered as she stumbled back.

He turned to stare at her as she pulled the feather from her hair, tossing it high as it converted into her escape. “Kagura?”

She shook her head as she hopped onto the feather. “You must listen, Sesshoumaru . . . She wants me to destroy you, and I cannot! You must stay away from me!”

“Kagura!” he called as he reached out to stop her. The feather zipped away from him, and she glanced over her shoulder as she climbed into the sky.

` _I cannot hurt him . . . I_ will _not!_ ' she maintained. In the distance she could see the green glow of Sesshoumaru's energy form as he gave chase. Kagura bent low as the feather gained speed. Time was of the essence. She couldn't afford to let him catch her now.

Before she lost the control over her body, before she found herself a mere pawn once more . . . ` _Hisadaicho . . . I will kill you_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Hisadaicho stopped in the clearing, grinding her teeth together in her disgust. ` _Kagura! You dare defy me?_ '

The wind sorceress' disobedience made Hisadaicho seethe. She was growing impatient, perhaps. It was time for the high and mighty Sesshoumaru to reap his comeuppance but Kagura . . .

` _Had it not been for me, you wouldn't have known true joy, Kagura. You believe you can defy me? For your arrogance_ . . .'

She should have destroyed Sesshoumaru sooner. Perhaps the lure of toying with the great tai-youkai was too delicious. To bring the proud lord to his knees . . . well, it was an opportunity that Hisadaicho hadn't been able to ignore. Too bad for Kagura. She had given up her chance to be free. She had sealed her own fate . . . again.

The trees whispered, swaying in the unnatural wind. Hisadaicho schooled her features, blanked her expression as Kagura circled on her feather, making her slow descent.

“Kagura . . . so nice of you to save me the effort of hunting you down,” Hisadaicho commented as Kagura lit on the ground.

The wind sorceress caught the feather in her nimble fingers and stuck it in her hair as she yanked out her fans, flicking them open with a loud snap. “You cannot control me, Hisadaicho! You were a fool for thinking that you could. Now you will die!” Sweeping her fans, shooting out blades of wind, Kagura yelled, “ _Fujin no mai!_ ”

Hisadaicho raised her hand, stopping the blades before they hit her. “Foolish, Kagura. Don't you know you can't attack your creator?”

“You don't own me!”

“That's where you're wrong, Kagura. I _do_ own you. I own your body, I own your soul. How dare you presume to cross me?”

Kagura's eyes flared. “I died once, Hisadaicho. What makes you think that dying again would matter to me? The physical pain is nothing to me.”

Hisadaicho raised her eyebrows, mocking the wind sorceress. “And this is what you truly believe? There are some things worse than death, Kagura.”

Kagura smiled tightly. “Yes, there are. Betraying someone you care for . . . that's a burden I will not carry.”

“Kagura!”

The wind sorceress glanced back at her mate. “Something wrong, Sesshoumaru? You look a bit disgruntled.”

The tai-youkai stared at the two women cautiously, trying to discern just what was going on. “Tell me what this is about, Kagura.”

Hisadaicho's lazy smile widened at the consternation in the tai-youkai's gaze. “Tell him, Kagura. Tell him . . . or better yet,” she drawled as she clamped her hand over the scar on her wrist. Kagura gasped as she clutched her chest. “Show him.”

Slowly pivoting to face Sesshoumaru, Kagura's arms jerked as she raised her fans. Her face registered no emotion as she flicked her weapons, as she leveled them to release her attack. “N-n-n,” she gritted out as a flicker of emotion warred in her eyes. The flicker grew into a burn, into a battle within herself, a battle of her soul against her body. “R-r-run.”

Indignant anger banked behind those golden eyes. Hisadaicho's smile twisted her lips as Sesshoumaru's gaze narrowed on his mate. “This Sesshoumaru does not run.” His stare didn't move from Kagura though his question was directed at Hisadaicho. “What have you done?”

Throwing her head back in giddy laughter, Hisadaicho couldn't hide her amusement at the situation she'd masterminded. “She's my creation, Sesshoumaru. Isn't she lovely? Isn't she . . . perfect? And you played right into my hands. Kagura's mind may be her own but her body is mine, and I want her to destroy you.”

Absolute rage ignited behind Sesshoumaru's glare as the pulsating crimson of the youkai's true form bled into his eyes. “You will not have her!”

“I already do! Now, Kagura! Unleash your fans, wind sorceress! Show him my wrath.”

Kagura's stilted movements gave silent testimony to the conflict between her mind and her body. She raised her fans as she groaned, the will of her body overpowering her mind's dictates.

“Hisadaicho, you bitch! You're gonna die!”

Both Hisadaicho and Kagura turned to glance at the late arrivals. InuYasha knelt down, let Kagome off his back before dragging Tetsusaiga out of the scabbard and leveling it at the butterfly hanyou.

Sesshoumaru shot forward, ripped the fans out of Kagura's hands before dragging her away from Hisadaicho. The wind sorceress collapsed against Sesshoumaru's chest as she leaned on him for support. “Stay back, half-breed,” Sesshoumaru growled. “This is not your concern.”

“The hell it ain't,” InuYasha shot back. “You're not the only one who wants a piece of her.”

“You boys flatter me,” Hisadaicho laughed. “Too bad I don't have time to play.”

“What do you want from us?” Kagome asked as she peeked over InuYasha's shoulder. “Why are you doing this?”

Hisadaicho's eyes widened for a moment as she regarded the young miko with a keen interest. “Your power is complete, miko . . . good . . .”

“Stay the hell away from her,” InuYasha snarled as he brought his sword down, cleaving a neat arc in the air. “ _Kaze no Kizu!_ ”

Hisadaicho held out her hand as the Wind Scar rushed toward her. The attack reflected off her hand, redirecting the path of the flames straight toward Sesshoumaru. He yanked Kagura off the ground and leapt out of the way.

Reading the surprise in the hanyou's glare, Hisadaicho chuckled. “Kagura is my creation, InuYasha. I can choose to have her take the brunt of the attacks you levy against me. You would destroy Kagura? Foolish, InuYasha, contemptible and foolish.”

“Damn you!”

“Will you kill your brother's mate?”

She wasn't surprised to see the reluctance in InuYasha's gaze. In fact, she'd counted on it.

“Release her,” Sesshoumaru demanded as he shoved Kagura behind his back. “I'll kill you!”

“I grow weary of your very existence,” Hisadaicho scoffed. Raising her hand again as a ball of purple energy intensified, she released it with a flick of her wrist. The sizzling streak of energy erupted, singed the air as it hurled toward Sesshoumaru.

“ _No!_ ” Kagura screamed as she threw herself around Sesshoumaru. The ball of energy hit her in the chest. Her body flew up in the air as her scream filled the clearing and beyond. Sesshoumaru's enraged growl mingled with her pained cry that cut off abruptly as Kagura landed in a crumpled heap nearby.

“Kagura!” Kagome shrieked. InuYasha caught her hand and held her back. “Let me go!”

“You can't do a damn thing!” InuYasha growled. “Now stay out of the way!”

Sesshoumaru lunged at Hisadaicho.

With a wicked laugh, the butterfly hanyou leapt away and, blowing a parting kiss to him, she ran away, into the forest.

InuYasha growled in frustration as he watched Hisadaicho's retreat. He reached for Kagome's hand, intent on giving chase, but she darted away from his grasp. She stopped just behind Sesshoumaru, who stood next to Kagura's broken body.

Dropping Tetsusaiga into its sheathe with a disgusted sigh, InuYasha stomped over to Kagome's side.

The look on Sesshoumaru's face stopped InuYasha from commenting. He couldn't remember seeing that much emotion on the tai-youkai's stoic countenance before. Despite his controlled demeanor, something brewed just below the façade though InuYasha couldn't tell if it was sorrow or pain, anger or grief . . . or a mixture of all of them.

Slowly, deliberately, Sesshoumaru unsheathed Tenseiga. The sword pulsed in his hand, and he lifted the blade, resting it against his forehead for a moment before slashing through the beasts that had come to bear Kagura's soul away. InuYasha heard the imps scream even though he couldn't see them. The woman on the ground twitched, moved, slowly sat up as Kagome gasped softly and retreated a step, her complete horror a palpable thing.

Sesshoumaru glowered at the woman sitting on the ground and shook his head as he spoke, his voice tinged with rage, shaking with emotion despite his clipped, tight tone. “What is the meaning of this?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Fujin no mai:** Wind, blade, and dance. Dance of Blades.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  …What the … ?  
> ==========


	75. Resolve

 

~~ ** _Chapter 75_** ~~  
~ ** _Resolve_** ~

 

“Where do you think Sesshoumaru went?” Kagome asked as she leaned closer against InuYasha's back.

InuYasha pushed off the ground to sail over the trees with a loud snort. “Keh. No tellin'. We're not exactly close, remember?”

Kagome sighed. InuYasha was in a horrible mood, not that she could blame him. They'd lost precious time . . .

“ _What is the meaning of this?”_ _Sesshoumaru demanded as he glared at the woman cowering on the ground_.

“ _How can that be?” Kagome murmured, turning her_ _stunned_ _gaze on InuYasha._ `She's not Kagura . . . but who is she?'

_InuYasha shook his head. He had no more answers than she did_.

“ _Where . . . who . . . ?” the girl murmured quietly as her fearful glance shifted from one strange face to the next. With a soft whimper, she choked back a sob_.

_Kagome shook off her initial shock and stepped around Sesshoumaru to kneel by the girl. The tai-youkai's expression was unreadable though his anger was evident in the slight tick in his jaw, in the heightened brightness behind his troubled scowl_.

“ _What'_ _s your name?” Kagome asked gently_.

_The girl shook her head slowly. “Yuriko,” she said. “My name is . . . Yuriko_.”

“ _She's human,” InuYasha said, shaking his head in confusion. “What the hell is going on?_ ”

“ _Do you remember anything?” Kagome interrupted gently_.

_Yuriko shook her head slowly. “I was taken away, but I . . . I was blindfolded, and it was cold and dark . . . I don't know where I was_ . . .”

“ _Come on, wench. We ain't got time for this. Hisadaicho's getting away, and_ —”

“ _And we have to take this girl home, InuYasha. We can't just leave her here_.”

“ _Then let Sesshoumaru do it for once!_ ”

_Kagome rolled her eyes. “If that were an option_ _—_ _which it isn't_ _—_ _it's a moot point since he's gone!_ ”

_InuYasha spun around and_ _unleashed a string of expletives since he hadn't realized that Sesshoumaru had left_.

In the end, they had taken Yuriko back to her home. Kagome didn't think she'd ever forget the quiet joy, the overwhelming relief she saw in Yuriko's father's face or the tears and the joy as Yuriko's siblings all vied for her attention. The girl didn't remember what had happened or how she had been transformed into Kagura, and Kagome figured that was for the best. Whatever had happened couldn't have been a pleasant experience. Maybe it was best if she never did remember.

Still the pleasure of the reunion she'd witnessed lightened Kagome's troubled thoughts. It was a bittersweet thing, really, but Kagome knew that Kagura had chosen her path. Better to return to the wind than to be forced to reside in the body of another.

A strange thought crossed her mind, and Kagome frowned. ` _Was that what it was like for Kikyou? For the part of her soul that she kept to be housed in a body made of clay and bone? A body that wasn't really meant to belong to her. How bitter, how angry, would I have been, if I were her?_ '

“InuYasha?”

“What?”

Kagome cleared her throat. “Did . . . did Kikyou resent me? For being made to live in that body Urasue created?”

InuYasha's eyebrows drew together as he turned his head enough to glance over his shoulder at her. “What are you talking about?”

Kagome made a face. “If I had been stronger . . . maybe my soul wouldn't have been drawn out, you know?”

“Keh! The only one Kikyou blamed for that was Urasue . . . and me.”

“But you—”

“I did. It was my fault she died, in the first place, and . . .” he trailed off with a sigh. “And I called her name. That's why your soul was released to go to her.”

“That wasn't really your fault,” she chided. “You didn't know.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. I should have.”

Kagome fell silent a moment before she wiggled a little higher on InuYasha's back. “Yuriko's family really was happy to see her. At least she got a happy ending.”

“Yeah,” InuYasha agreed.

That was the old saying, wasn't it? Every cloud has a silver lining. The lining was harder to see in some, but in this case . . . Yuriko had been as much of a victim as Kagura had been. At least Yuriko had gotten to go home, and her trembling smile full of grateful tears . . . that had been enough.

In the midst of the happy memory, a flash of the pain in Sesshoumaru's face tempered the warm, pleasant feeling. “InuYasha?”

“What?”

“If Hisadaicho used Yuriko's body to resurrect Kagura . . . isn't she Sesshoumaru's mate?”

InuYasha snorted as he launched them off the ground again. “Keh. I don't think so. She didn't smell like him, at all. Maybe it had something to do with Kagura's soul . . . Damn! Just once I'd love to rub that bastard's nose in it, especially since he loves to remind me how worthless humans are . . .”

Kagome sighed. “InuYasha, you're a little too vengeful for your own good, did you know?”

What he'd said made sense, though. Kagura's soul had made the difference. Kagura's awareness, Kagura's heart . . . did the body really matter if the mind was someone else?

Despite the magnitude of the situation, Kagome smiled and hugged InuYasha's shoulders.

“What's gotten into you?” he demanded suspiciously.

“Oh, just something you said . . .”

“And what was that?”

“It wouldn't matter, would it? Our souls are mated, not just . . . well, it's a nice thought,” she finished as her cheeks pinked a little.

“Keh. Whatever, Kagome,” he grumbled as his cheeks reddened, too.

Kagome giggled then frowned. “How can that be, though? Kagura's alive in my era. We've seen her, right?”

InuYasha didn't answer, and Kagome knew he had already thought of that, too.

“It doesn't make sense, does it? That means something had to have happened . . . or that something has changed?”

A sudden surge of panic ripped through Kagome's stomach, and she gripped InuYasha's shoulders tighter. “InuYasha, we have to go back.”

“What?”

She shook her head and tapped his chest. “Seriously, InuYasha. We have to! We've got to go home. I've got to see if something's changed.”

“Like what?” he challenged.

“Like Kagura! Remember? She is alive in my time with Sesshoumaru . . . I don't know what this means, but . . .”

InuYasha stopped suddenly and whipped around before setting off at a sprint once more. “Damn it . . .”

Kagome held on as InuYasha shot off the ground, hoping once more that she was wrong.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

The trees stilled as he walked through the forest. Creatures stilled upon his approach, an eerie hush surrounded him. As though the very earth knew of his sadness, his anger, his absolute frustration, the world seemed to yield to him in the quiet. ` _Kagura_ . . .'

Hisadaicho planned this all along? To recreate her in the hopes of destroying him . . .

` _How had she known? Kagura_ . . .'

He knew Kagura's soul, knew that it had been her—her emotions, her presence. The mortal girl . . . she was not his mate.

Anger simmered, boiled, raged through him with a vindictiveness, a thorough clouding of his brain, of conscious thought. The need to lash out grew inside him, the consuming desire to hurt something, if only to block the pain from his mind.

A low rumble filtered into his ears, growing louder as he blinked in confusion. A growl that came from a dark place, a savage pain, engulfed him. Festering hot and contemptible, rising like bile from within, it choked him, smothered him, tore from him a cry, a wail, the mourning call of the inu-youkai.

Unleashing his rage on an age-old sakura tree, he found no comfort in the deafening crack of wood like thunder in the forest. The splinters shot out in every direction; the morbid lances of a stagnant ache fell like rain from his claws as the scent of his blood warred with the scent of her that clung to his very clothes.

But the frustration did not wane; the pain could not be eased. The destruction he had wrought only fueled his desire for more, much more: a rampant blood-lust that only desecration could appease . . .

He raised his claws again without a target in mind. The need to give in, to destroy and annihilate was almost overwhelming, was welcome, was comforting. Cracking his knuckles, he drew back, grimacing as the surge of his youkai blood pulsed in time with his pounding heart.

A foreign wind rippled over him—a soothing wind, a gentle warmth. It whispered to him, stilled his hand. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes. ` _Kagura . . . ?_ '

The wind caressed him, touched him, soothed him as the unsteady ache—an odd emotion—burgeoned and swelled. ` _Sesshoumaru . . . my mate_ . . .'

And then it was gone.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Why aren't you dead?”

“InuYasha!” Kagome hissed, clamping her hand over her mate's mouth as she poked InuYasha's side with her other hand. “We wanted to talk to you.”

Kagura stood back and gestured for the two to enter. InuYasha jerked his head to the side to evade Kagome's hand and sniffed Kagura as they passed. Kagome rolled her eyes and shoved him forward.

Leading the way into the living room, Kagura sat in one of the taupe suede armchairs as Kagome settled on the sofa. InuYasha stomped over to the windows and stared outside.

“Did something happen?” Kagura asked, her gaze direct but unconcerned.

Kagome shifted as she bit her lower lip, trying to figure out a good way to state her concerns. “Sort of,” she confessed, twisting her fingers on her lap. “We were looking for Hisadaicho, and we found you and Sesshoumaru confronting her. Anyway, she . . . uh . . .”

InuYasha snorted but didn't turn away from the window. “She killed you, damn it,” InuYasha growled without turning away from the window.

Kagome sighed, wincing at InuYasha's harsh statement. “Yeah.”

Kagura didn't seem upset by the news. To Kagome's amazement, she smiled instead. “I see. So the two of you are wondering why I am alive now?”

Kagome nodded. “I was a little worried something had changed in the past,” she admitted.

Kagura shook her head and shrugged. “I can't tell you what happened.”

Turning away from the window with his arms crossed over his chest stubbornly, InuYasha pinned Kagura with a dark glower as he snorted. “Keh. Can't or won't?”

“She won't.”

Kagome wasn't surprised to see Sesshoumaru stride into the room though she was surprised that he held his daughter in his arm.

“Why not?” InuYasha countered. “What the fuck are you hiding?”

Sesshoumaru shook his head as he handed the girl off to Kagura. “I hide nothing, InuYasha. Don't be a fool. She can't tell you something that would affect the past.”

InuYasha looked like he was ready to challenge Sesshoumaru's claim. Kagome cleared her throat quickly to stave off whatever tirade InuYasha saw fit to launch. “That makes sense. If we knew what was going to happen, then we might accidentally change it.”

Sesshoumaru seemed surprised at Kagome's deduction. Slowly he nodded. “You understand well, miko.”

Kagome stood up. “We should go, InuYasha. We've got to stop Hisadaicho.”

InuYasha shot his brother a belligerent glare before he stalked over to Kagome's side. “Whatever. What a huge waste of time.”

“InuYasha,” Sesshoumaru called as InuYasha grabbed Kagome's hand and headed for the door.

“What?”

The tai-youkai's gaze narrowed as he regarded his brother. “Do not make the mistake of underestimating Hisadaicho. Her powers of trickery know no bounds.”

“Why didn't you take her out?” InuYasha countered.

Sesshoumaru almost smiled. “I had . . . other things to see to.”

InuYasha rolled his eyes and tugged on Kagome's hand. “Fucking bastard! Why does he always have to talk in riddles?”

Kagome wisely held her tongue as he dragged her through the foyer and out the front door.

He didn't speak again until they were on the sidewalk heading back toward downtown Tokyo. “There's a helluva lot of something neither one of them is saying,” he finally commented as he tugged his baseball cap down on his head.

“I got that feeling, too,” Kagome admitted. “It's strange, isn't it? I mean, I think Kagura wanted to tell us. She just couldn't.”

InuYasha snorted. “Maybe.”

“I wish we knew what she really wants. She killed Kikyou; she's targeted Kouga and Sesshoumaru . . .”

A dark shadow passed over InuYasha's features, a consternated expression as he slowly shook his head. “Kikyou said . . . she said Hisadaicho wants you.”

“Me?” Kagome echoed as her eyebrows drew together in a marked frown. “Why would she want me?”

Hisadaicho's words came back to her but they didn't make sense. ` _Your power is complete, miko . . . good_ . . .'

` _She was smiling; she was happy . . . but why? What does she want with me? What power?_ _I don't have any powers_ _—_ _at least, nothing like that_ _. . ._ '

InuYasha folded his arms together under his haori sleeves. “She won't fucking touch you, Kagome, do you hear?”

She forced a smile for InuYasha's benefit and grimaced inwardly as his already foreboding expression grew more disbelieving. “I know.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Youkai! Youkai!”

Sango stood up from her garden as Miroku stepped forward, gently moving others aside as he hurried to the terrified man's side. The man collapsed, and Miroku caught him. “Youkai? In your village?”

The man struggled to catch his breath but nodded. “They . . . north . . . so many . . .”

“What's going on?”

The assembled crowd parted at the sound of InuYasha's demand. The hanyou came forward with Kagome in tow. She peeked over InuYasha's shoulder then darted past him as she dug a bottle of water out of her bag. “Here,” she offered.

The man smiled weakly and accepted the bottle, drinking heartily before he stared at the bottle with a perplexed frown. “You're the miko they speak of!” he exclaimed as embarrassed color suffused his already ruddy face. Pulling away from Miroku's grasp, the man bowed as he latched onto Kagome's hand. “Please, can you rid our village of the youkai?”

InuYasha's hand shot out when the man didn't let go. “That's enough,” InuYasha snorted, pulling Kagome back a step. “I'll take care of your youkai problem. Just tell me where they are.”

“There are so many,” the man commented as he stared at InuYasha. “They come at night—thousands of them—from the hills to the east.”

InuYasha's glower shifted to Miroku. The ex-monk nodded. “All right. Feel free to rest here. We'll see that the youkai are dealt with.”

Kaede stepped forward and led the man away. Sango hurried over, balancing Marisaiko on her hip. “Thousands of youkai?”

“From the east,” Miroku added as he frowned in concentration.

“InuYasha?” Kagome asked, letting her unvoiced question hang in the air.

InuYasha nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

Miroku's eyes darted from Kagome to InuYasha and back again. “What?”

“Hisadaicho . . . we found her. She . . . she killed Kagura, and when Sesshoumaru tried to revive her, she wasn't Kagura at all but a human girl named Yuriko.”

“And she ran off toward the east,” InuYasha added as his scowl darkened.

“Do you think she's behind the youkai uprisings?” Sango asked.

InuYasha shrugged. “Keh. Probably. Anyway, before we can go after her, we gotta take care of this.”

Kagome nodded.

“I'll come, too,” Miroku offered. “We have no idea what kind of youkai these are. It may be a tougher battle than normal.”

“I should come, too,” Sango spoke up. “I am a youkai exterminator.”

“What about the baby?” Miroku countered.

“I can watch her,” Kagome said. “If there are that many, your skills would come in more useful than my arrows.”

InuYasha looked like he was going to argue it. “Wench—”

Kagome shook her head. “It's fine. Miroku, Sango, Kirara, and you can take care of it, right?”

“Kagome's got a point,” Miroku added.

Kagome reached for Marisaiko. Sango kissed her daughter's cheek and smiled at Kagome before turning away to call Kirara. Miroku kissed Marisaiko's head and clasped Kagome's shoulder. He climbed up behind Sango on the fire cat youkai.

InuYasha frowned at Kagome. “Be careful, wench,” he warned.

Kagome caught his hand and squeezed. “Isn't that what I'm supposed to say?”

He looked like he wanted to kiss her. She knew his hesitation. She understood why he seemed reluctant when the villagers were still milling around. She smiled sweetly and shoved his chest playfully. “Go on, dog-boy. Just don't forget where you left me.”

He grinned then, too, and to her surprise, he leaned in quickly and brushed his lips over hers. “Keh! As if you'd ever let me forget that,” he scoffed.

She laughed, her cheeks pinking, as she watched him sprint after Sango and Miroku. Marisaiko giggled as she waved her hands at the retreating figures. Kagome smiled and stood still until they were out of sight, disappearing into the forest. Then she turned her smile on the girl in her arms. “Well, Mari . . . looks like it's just us for a day or two.”

Marisaiko giggled again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  Happy fucking birthday (a day late), Diana …


	76. Delusional

 

~~ ** _Chapter 76_** ~~  
~ ** _Delusional_** ~

 

“ _Hiraikotsu!_ ”

The giant bone boomerang whooshed as it sailed in a wide arc, cleaving through youkai as effortlessly as a though the youkai were made of paper. They kept coming, an endless throng as Sango caught Hiraikotsu and flung it again.

“I never thought I'd say this, but the kazaana would have come in handy, right about now,” Miroku called, face contorting as he fought back more youkai.

“Shut the hell up, monk! Did you get hit in the head or something?” InuYasha snarled as he slashed through even more youkai before hefting the huge fang over his head and slamming it back down. “ _Kaze no Kizu!_ ”

The Wind Scar decimated another few hundred youkai. Eyes glowing with a self-satisfied light, InuYasha refreshed his grip on Tetsusaiga and readied himself for another round as Kirara leapt over his head to take out a few strays.

“Well, you have to admit, InuYasha, the kazaana, while life-threatening, did come in fairly useful,” Miroku quipped. “Get _back!_ ” he yelled as he chucked a handful of Ofuda. Pained shrieks erupted all around him as he grunted with the effort he put behind the follow-up blow of his Shakuju.

Sango caught Hiraikotsu and spun around, hacking up another couple dozen youkai that swarmed in a little too close for comfort. “Less talking; more exterminating, houshi-sama!”

InuYasha pushed off the ground to unleash another Kaze no Kizu upon the next wave of youkai. “Damn! How the hell many of the bastards are there?” he growled as he landed in a squat.

“I'm just getting warmed up!” Sango called over her shoulder as she whipped Hiraikotsu away again.

“You see why I love her?” Miroku asked with a chuckle as he cut through the surrounding youkai.

“Keh! I could keep this up all night,” InuYasha bragged. Hacking through more youkai with a flash of Tetsusaiga. “Just bring it.”

Kirara growled as she caught two youkai by the tails and trapped them against the ground before ripping them to shreds with her claws.

“You know, this seems almost deliberate,” Miroku mused as he tossed another handful of Ofuda.

InuYasha grimaced, crashing Tetsusaiga into the ground as another Kaze no Kizu shot out from the blade. “What do you mean?”

Making a face as youkai body parts rained down from the sky, victim of InuYasha's attack, the monk glanced over at the hanyou. “I mean, remember that time Kagura attacked us near the hut while Sango and Kagome tried to hide Kohaku?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

Raising Shakuju in time to block a lunging youkai, Miroku heaved it back and flipped his staff to impale it. “What if Hisadaicho set this up? To lure you away from Kagome?”

InuYasha stopped mid-swing. “What?”

“InuYasha! Watch out!” Sango hollered.

Turning back in time to see another wave of fast-approaching youkai, InuYasha growled as he lunged forward. “ _Kaze no Kizu!_ ”

“You've got to admit, they're not putting up much of a fight . . . there's just a lot of them.”

InuYasha dropped to the ground and rounded on the monk. “Kagome's fine. I'd know if she wasn't.”

“Her talisman?”

InuYasha nodded as he caught sight of even more incoming youkai. ` _Damn it . . . Kagome . . . be safe_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Don't move!”

Hisadaicho stopped in her tracks and slowly turned to stare at the youkai as he stepped out of the forest. A tiny smile surfaced, lifting the corners of her lips as she blinked innocently, eyes intent as she sized up her adversary. “Kouga. So we meet again.”

“You bitch,” the wolf youkai growled as he stepped closer. “You're not getting away this time.”

Pursing her lips in a sultry pout, Hisadaicho wandered closer to the wolf. “That's too bad, Kouga . . . I thought you enjoyed our time together.”

Icy blue gaze narrowing dangerously, Kouga pushed Hisadaicho back a step. “What the hell are you trying to do?”

That didn't discourage her. Hisadaicho sauntered toward him again, lavender eyes glowing in the rising moonlight. “Come now, Kouga. Can't we put this nastiness behind us? I know you enjoyed yourself as much as I did . . . surely you wouldn't mind something . . . else . . . ?” she coaxed as she wrapped her arms around Kouga's neck.

His hand shot up to her throat, gripped her jugular in his claws. “I'm going to kill you for what you've done to me.”

A strange flicker behind her gaze blazed with a mixture of pleasure and misplaced confidence. There wasn't a trace of fear. “Grant me one request before you kill me?”

“Like hell.”

She swallowed. He could feel her throat swell and contract under his fingers. “A kiss, Kouga. Just one.”

“I don't think so.”

She didn't blink as she stared into his eyes. “Please, Kouga . . . you would deny your mate a last kiss?”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“So Kagome, when are you and InuYasha going to start a family?”

Kagome choked on the water she had been sipping and sputtered, wiping her chin with the back of her hand. “What?”

Shippou casually licked his sucker without noticing Kagome's hesitation. “It would be great, you know? I mean, as long as he doesn't act like InuYasha.”

“Let's . . . talk about something else,” Kagome hedged.

Opening his eyes to narrow slits, Shippou shot her a sidelong gaze full of understated suspicion. “You'd tell us if you and InuYasha were going to have a pup, right?”

Ichisaru glanced up from his coloring and sniffed as he pulled his sucker out of his mouth with a loud pop as the suction broke. “Nah, she smells normal . . . or at least as normal as she has since she and InuYasha exchanged scents.”

Kagome dug into her bag and dragged out two boxes of pocky. Shoving them under the children's noses, she breathed a sigh of relief as both Ichisaru and Shippou hopped up and ran off with their bounty. Shippou's voice drifted back to her. “I told you it'd work!”

Kagome's mouth fell open in shock that she'd just been tricked. With a disgusted sigh, she snapped her jaw closed and shook her head. “We'll see about that,” she muttered under her breath despite the heightened color in her cheeks.

Marisaiko cooed softly, and Kagome's embarrassment melted as she smiled at the baby. “You're such a big girl!” Kagome said as she lifted Marisaiko to cuddle against her shoulder. A bittersweet smile lent a sad depth to Kagome's gaze as she sat back, idly watching the village women and children. Kaede approached, surrounded by youngsters. She said something to them, and with enthusiastic hollers, they ran off into the forest.

“Ye look as though there is something on your mind, Kagome,” the old miko commented as she slowly knelt beside her.

Kagome shrugged. “Just thinking . . .” she admitted. “I like holding her.”

Kaede nodded. “It would surprise me if ye did not.”

“I like to,” she stated again, “but somehow I think it'd feel different if I held my own.”

“Ye have made peace with what ye chose to do.”

Kagome smiled. “Yeah, I guess I have.”

Kaede stared at her for a long moment. “Ye chose a difficult path, Kagome. Others might have faltered in this. Ye are stronger for it.”

“I don't think it was about being strong,” Kagome contradicted. “I think . . . I think it was about letting myself be weak. I tried to keep everything inside. InuYasha made me see that I couldn't do that.”

“InuYasha did?”

Kagome laughed. “I know. It sounds funny, doesn't it?”

Kaede shook her head as she smiled. “Nay, child. I've always known that he possesses a kind heart. He simply wishes he did not. You bring that out in him.”

Old Seer's words whispered through her mind, and Kagome's smile grew. ` _You have taught him much in your time together. Perhaps he can teach you some things, as well_.'

“Maybe we bring out the best in each other.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kouga stepped out of the forest and slowly took in the peaceful village before striding purposefully in the direction of the small hut on the outskirts near the edge of the tree line. The late morning sun was bright, cheerful, and Kouga grinned when he spotted the person he was looking for sitting in the grass outside the hut. “Oi, Kagome!”

The young miko glanced up and smiled. “Kouga, what are you doing here?”

Kouga shrugged as he hunkered down before her. “Not a social call, I'm afraid. Ginta got a pretty bad gash in his leg, and it's not healing like it should. I thought maybe . . . can you look at it?”

Kagome bit her bottom lip as she frowned and shook her head. “InuYasha's gone right now, and he'd be . . . well, furious if I went without him.”

Kouga wrinkled his nose as he leaned forward and sniffed. “Ugh! Tell me my nose is wrong, Kagome . . .”

She blushed and made a face. “They'll probably be back in a little bit . . . can you wait?”

Kouga grimaced. “His leg's bad, Kagome. He's youkai, but . . . I've never seen anything like it before . . . it reminds me of the poison from the fake shard.”

Definite worry surfaced on Kagome's features. She obviously remembered the time Kouga had been tricked by Naraku and Kagura into believing that InuYasha had slain his tribesmen. He could tell from her expression that she was trying to make up her mind. Kouga sighed and shook his head as he pushed himself to his feet again. “It's all right, Kagome. That damn dog-shit . . . is your mate now—” she winced at the distain in his tone, “—and you really can't do anything without his permission.”

“It's not like that,” she argued. “InuYasha doesn't tell me what I can or can't do. I just—”

Kouga forced a wry grin. “Never mind, Kagome. I just thought you'd help a friend.”

“Kouga, wait . . . Let me tell Kaede where I'm going. I'm sure that InuYasha and the others can catch up with us.”

“You sure you don't want me to kill him? You'd be so much better off with me.”

Kagome wrinkled her nose as she gathered Marisaiko and her backpack and hurried past Kouga toward Kaede's hut. “Kaede, Kouga's here . . . one of his men has a badly infected leg, and he wants me to look at it.” She sighed and grimaced. “I hate to ask, but can you watch Marisaiko until Sango and the others get back? I don't want her to worry . . .”

Kaede nodded as she took the baby from Kagome.

Shippou dropped his crayons and skittered over to Kagome. “I want to come, too.”

“Shippou—”

“Bring him,” Kouga muttered from the doorway. “It's fine.”

“Would you tell InuYasha that we're just going to the wolves' den? I'm sure he can catch up with us.”

“Take some of those herb powders,” Kaede said, nodding toward her cupboard. “Mix it with water. The paste should help draw out the infection.”

Kagome grabbed them and stuffed them into her bag before running out of the hut with Shippou in tow.

“Uh, Kagome? Thanks.”

Kagome slung the backpack over her shoulders and adjusted the straps. “It's fine, Kouga. I hope we're not too late.

Shippou hopped onto Kagome's shoulder, staring hard at Kouga as the wolf youkai swept Kagome up and ran off into the forest.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“ _She did_ _what?_ ” InuYasha bellowed as the other inhabitants of the hut cringed. Marisaiko blinked twice before her face contorted and a sob welled up. Sango cradled the child against her chest as she shot InuYasha a reproachful look.

“Calm down, InuYasha! Kouga's tribesman was in dire peril,” Kaede explained slowly, her tone reminiscent of the one she used with the youngest children of the village. “It was my understanding that his leg is badly infected. She took Shippou with her.”

“Keh! Fat lot that runt can do! Damn it, she knows better!”

“It seems as though she just wanted to help,” Miroku added. “It's in her nature.”

InuYasha growled as he stomped toward the door. “Keh! Whatever. Fucking wolf . . . just wait till I get my claws on him . . .”

The late afternoon sunshine was glaring in his eyes as InuYasha sprinted toward the forest. ` _Damn it, wench!_ '

Unfortunately, he did understand why she would choose to go. She wanted to help. Miroku's words taunted him. ` _It is her nature_.'

He growled low in his chest. Even though InuYasha wasn't fond of Kouga or his kinsmen, he knew that Kagome was, at least a little. That didn't mean he couldn't be frustrated. If she had waited a few hours, he'd have been here to take her. The idea that she was alone with that mangy wolf was enough to make his skin crawl.

` _Not completely alone . . . Shippou's with her_ . . .'

InuYasha snorted as he soared above the forest. For some reason, that thought didn't really comfort him very much, either . . .

` _When I catch up with you, Kagome, I'm gonna_ . . .'

InuYasha frowned. What _would_ he do? He made a face and sighed. He'd figure that out when he found her.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“Kouga? Can we stop for a minute?” Kagome asked as she rolled her head back.

Kouga didn't answer. If anything, he sped up a little more.

“Kouga?”

Still nothing.

Shippou shrugged from his perch on Kagome's stomach. Kagome frowned and patted Kouga's shoulder. “Can we stop?”

Kouga blinked as though he were in some sort of trance and stopped. “Sorry. I was, uh . . . worried about Hakkaku,” he said as he let Kagome down.

Kagome started to walk a few steps away then stopped. “Hakkaku?” she echoed with a perplexed scowl. “I thought you said Ginta was hurt . . . ?”

Kouga shook his head as his own scowl darkened. “I did.”

“But you just said—”

“I meant that I'm worried because Hakkaku was concerned about Ginta.”

“Oh . . . okay,” Kagome agreed. “I'll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

Fighting back her blush, Kagome shrugged in what she hoped was a show of nonchalance. “I've got to _go_.”

At least Kouga seemed to understand what she meant, and with a relieved sigh, Kagome hurried into the forest.

It was difficult to tell, exactly where they were since Kouga, unlike InuYasha, preferred to keep his feet on the ground. Still . . .

` _We shouldn't still be in the forest_ ,' she thought as she hurried about her business. ` _Kouga might not be as fast as InuYasha since he doesn't have the jewel shards anymore, but he's not that slow_ . . .'

Glancing at her watch as she headed back toward Kouga and Shippou, she stopped short to listen when she heard the kitsune's tone of voice. “Are you sure we're going to your den, Kouga?”

Kouga didn't answer.

“Because we've been traveling a lot longer than it should take.”

Kagome bit her bottom lip. ` _Shippou's noticed that, too? What does it mean?_ '

“I'm on to you, Kouga. You smell even more like _her_. I didn't notice at the village, but it's stronger.”

Before Kouga could respond, Kagome hurried out of the trees and grabbed Shippou as she plastered on a happy smile. “Okay . . . Kouga . . . would it be okay if we walked, just a little? I'm cramping up . . .”

“Sorry, Kagome. We're in a hurry.”

She opened her mouth to protest. Kouga caught her and pulled her back into his arms again. Shippou hopped up onto her stomach, and the youkai broke into a sprint. For reasons Kagome didn't understand, Kouga was acting way too strange, and that frightened her.

Kagome intercepted Shippou's worried expression and tried to smile. ` _InuYasha_ ,' she thought as she unconsciously wrapped her hand around the fang necklace, ` _can you find us?_ '

A sudden calm flowed through her as her heartbeat pounded in her ears. ` _Is that mine . . . ? No . . . it's the fang . . . InuYasha's fang_ . . .' Closing her eyes as she assured herself that everything would be fine, Kagome drew a deep breath and tightened her hold on the talisman. ` _InuYasha knows. He'll find us. He always finds us_.'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Hiraikotsu:** Come, flying, bone: aka Sango's gigant-ass boomerang.  
>  **Kazaana:** wind, hole … Wind Tunnel, Air Rip… Yeah, that thing… Miroku's old weapon.  
>  **Shakuju:** Miroku's staff.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  What in the world's gotten into Kouga?  
> ==========


	77. Separation Anxiety

 

~~ ** _Chapter 77_** ~~  
~ ** _Separation_** ** _Anxiety_** ~

 

InuYasha scowled as he landed on the ground and sniffed. Something was wrong—very wrong. ` _That fucking mangy wolf . . . he ain't taking her to his tribe . . . but where the hell_ is _he taking her, then?_ '

The longer he searched, the more frustrated he grew, and the more frustrated he grew, the more irritated he became. He'd been tracking them for the last few hours, and he couldn't figure out where Kouga thought he was taking Kagome. Surely she knew by now that the damn liar wasn't taking her to his tribe. InuYasha would give up ramen forever if the bastard was even telling the truth about one of them being injured . . .

` _But why would he take Kagome?_ ' InuYasha's golden eyes darkened with his brewing rage. ` _Who the fuck cares? I'll kill him, see if I don't_ . . .'

Locating the trail once more, InuYasha darted off into the forest again. The sun was starting to set burning oranges and reds on the horizon. He knew in his heart that Kagome was safe. That didn't stop him from worrying. ` _Damn_ _that_ _Kouga . . . if he hurts her_ . . .'

A sudden jolt of fear shot through him. InuYasha nearly missed a step as he faltered. The fear wasn't his own. More like something he perceived than something he felt, the fear . . .

“ _Kagome!_ ”

His voice echoed off the trees, through the air, answered only by the lonely call of evening birds.

Her fear left a bitter taste in his mouth as concern threatened to overwhelm him. She could have been right there beside him. The emotion was unshakable.

Edging aside rational thought as he tore through the forest, only one thought made sense to him, and that was, Kagome was scared. Kagome, who feared nothing . . .

Sprinting faster than he ever had before, InuYasha's lips curled back in a brutal snarl. ` _Hang on, Kagome . . . I'll find you . . . I promise_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome bit her bottom lip as she intercepted another worried glance from the kitsune. He didn't have to speak for her to know what he was thinking. He was just as scared as she was. She only prayed that Shippou didn't sense hers.

Something strange and subtly frightening was happening. Kagome didn't want to think about it too deeply. Maybe she was scared of what she'd discern if she dug too deep. The rising edges of hysteria were lurking close. Kouga was behaving stranger by the minute but the oddly fevered look in his eyes frightened her more than anything else.

Glancing back over Kouga's shoulder, Kagome stifled a sigh at the empty forest behind them. ` _InuYasha . . . hurry_ . . .'

A heartening warmth seeped into her as the fang seemed to pulse. ` _You know, don't you? And you don't want me to be afraid_.'

Blinking as Kouga burst out of the trees, Kagome felt Shippou's little body erupt in tremors as a strong jyaki seeped over them. “K-Kagome?”

She nodded and cleared her throat before swallowing hard and trying to make her voice work. “Kouga? Kouga, where are you taking us?”

Shippou hopped down and planted himself in the wolf youkai's tracks as he waved his arms around. “Kouga!”

To Kagome's relief, he stopped, and she squirmed out of his arms, careful to put more than an arm's length between them. “You know that, right? InuYasha will come after me.”

Kouga's gaze cleared in the thin moonlight, eyes narrowing as his brows drew together as he stared at Kagome's throat. An accusing flash of light entered his glare. He shot forward as Kagome gasped and stumbled back too late. Kouga's fingers brushed against her skin, wrapping around the fang talisman. He jerked as she fell. The chain dug into the back of her neck, wrenching a small cry from her as the chain snapped. Kagome scrambled to her feet and tried to grab the necklace away.

“Give that back!” Shippou hollered. “That's Kagome's! She needs that!”

“Back off!” Kouga snarled, sending the kit flying with a kick to his stomach.

“Shippou!” Kagome screamed as she let go and ran to the fallen child.

Kouga was faster, snatching Shippou off the ground before Kagome could. “Kouga? Why are you doing this?” she whispered, tears spiking in her eyes as she stared helplessly at the kitsune.

Kouga grinned. “It's simple. My mate asked me to bring you here. Cooperate or I'll kill him.”

Shippou whimpered just a little as Kouga's arm tightened around his stomach. Kagome watched as Kouga flung the fang necklace aside. Everything inside her screamed at her to run, to find that necklace. Kouga's arm tightened again as his other hand held Shippou's head, warning clear: obey or Kouga would snap Shippou's neck.

Kagome swallowed hard, and she jerked her head once, giving her agreement. “Don't hurt him,” she pleaded, her voice thick, raw. “Just don't hurt him.”

“Walk.”

She didn't want to take her eyes off Shippou. She didn't want to do what Kouga commanded, but Shippou . . . Her feet felt clumsy, her movements stilted. She turned around and stumbled forward.

A distant thunder grew louder in her ears. Kagome frowned into the darkness. The earth seemed to quiver under her feet. Kouga reached out and stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. Out of the darkness, they came. At least fifty men on horseback, samurais all. They surrounded Kagome, the beasts of war snorting in her hair, pawing the ground with their powerful hooves.

Kouga handed Shippou to one of the men then grabbed Kagome around the waist to shove her into another samurai's arms. He stepped back and nodded. The horses shot into motion, their grunts of disapproval bleeding into a shriek of pain as sharp heels spurred them onward. Kagome tried to turn, tried to find Shippou in the fray. The arm around her waist tightened painfully, and she bit her cheek to keep from crying out.

` _Kouga said . . . his mate . . . Hisadaicho . . . but . . . what does she want from me?_ ' Another surge of panic hit her hard. So long as they had Shippou . . . ` _InuYasha . . . hurry_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

InuYasha shook his head as he tried to stave back the waves of fear, of panic that shot through him time and again. The feelings were secondary to the impotent anger inspired by the fact that there was nothing he could do to comfort her.

He stopped abruptly, stumbling as he felt a vicious yank, a sudden separation. Something or someone had interfered with the link between them, the fang . . .

` _Kouga! He did it! Damn it!_ '

InuYasha grimaced as he shot forward again. ` _If he took it off her, then she's definitely in danger. Hell! Kouga, when I get my fucking hands on you, I swear I'll rip you apart_ . . .'

Twenty minutes later, he burst from the forest into a field bathed in weak moonlight. He could smell Kagome's presence lingering on the breeze. She was here even if she was gone now. The lingering jyaki was thick, too, but Kagome's aura sliced through it with a subtle beauty, a gentle afterthought.

Something else beckoned him. He couldn't see it in the expanse but he could feel it. It took him less than two minutes to find it. Shining in the darkness like a fallen star, the fang lay discarded in the grass, the chain broken, and the trace scent of Kagome's blood stinging his nostrils.

He picked it up slowly, turned it over in his hand. Tying the broken ends of the strand holding it, he slipped it over his neck as his eyes flashed dangerously. ` _Kagome_.'

A snarl erupted from the shadows near the trees as InuYasha slowly turned his head to pin the wolf youkai with an irate glare. Beyond his limits, beyond reason, almost beyond the ability to control his own emotions, the hanyou pivoted, waited, bearing his fangs as the wolf youkai slipped out of the shadows.

“Where is she, Kouga?” InuYasha demanded, cracking his knuckles as Kouga stalked him.

Kouga's answer was an escalating growl. Crouching close to the ground, he snarled dangerously. InuYasha didn't move as he waited for Kouga to attack. ` _What the . . . ? He smells . . . half-dead . . . ?_ '

Kouga lunged. InuYasha ripped Tetsusaiga from the scabbard and leveled it at Kouga's chest. “You'd better think again, bastard!”

If Kouga heard him, InuYasha didn't know. The youkai didn't alter his path, and InuYasha raised Tetsusaiga.

The scent of the intruder barely had time to register in InuYasha's head before he was thrown back. A blur of movement sent him stumbling. He righted his footing and glanced up only to see Sesshoumaru holding Kouga by the throat, suspended above the ground.

“Let him go, damn it!” InuYasha snarled. “He's mine.”

Sesshoumaru's gaze shifted to the side for a moment before it moved back to Kouga. With a slight grimace, he shook Kouga. “Be not a fool, InuYasha. He is not worth your trouble.”

InuYasha snorted as he stomped over to them. “Keh! That's what you think. I'll rip him apart.”

Kouga gasped, gurgled as Sesshoumaru's hand tightened on his jugular. Amber eyes cold, all emotion swept away, the tai-youkai could have been staring at nothing. “He is tainted. _She_ has done this.” Sesshoumaru's eyes shifted to the side, still cold despite the slight flicker of recognition in his stare. “She has taken your miko. Will you not save her?”

“Kagome . . .”

Sesshoumaru ignored InuYasha's soft utterance, shook Kouga again as a spark of rage flashed behind his stoic gaze. “Make no mistake, InuYasha, I want Hisadaicho's blood, but she's taken your mate. As much as I despise this, it is your responsibility to save her. The law of the youkai dictates this. Do it.”

Kouga raked Sesshoumaru's hand as his face rapidly melded from crimson to a sickly blue. Sesshoumaru broke into a bitter smile, more of a snarl, calculated and calm. Kouga's vacant eyes were glossed over, glassy. If he knew he was about to die, Kouga didn't show it. The only sign he understood at all was the pathetic fight to loosen Sesshoumaru's hand.

“You disgust me, you pathetic fool,” Sesshoumaru growled, heaving Kouga away. Kouga's body flew back, and he smacked into a tree. The impact shook the ground as InuYasha gritted his teeth, tearing himself away from the two as he and sprinted into the night to find Kagome. As much as he wanted to deal a world of hurt on Kouga, his concern for Kagome was just too important.

Glancing over his shoulder, InuYasha saw Sesshoumaru stride over to the fallen youkai, but he couldn't hear what was said in the quiet.

` _Keh! Who the fuck cares? Let the two of them kill each other. I've got other stuff to deal with_.'

The scent of horses and the stench of dead flesh infiltrated his mind even as he discerned the underlying smell of Kagome, of Shippou. Increasing his speed as he ran, the only thought that kept running through his mind was that Kagome needed him.

He'd die before he let her down.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome stood alone in the courtyard as the samurai warriors cut off any means of escape. The escort had multiplied; the original fifty mounted samurai were a tiny percentage of the number gathered around her. Kagome groaned inwardly. There were hundreds of them, and they all seemed . . . dead?

The samurai who still held Shippou waited near the castle doors. The kitsune was terrified. His eyes met hers, and she had to fight back the desire to run to him. Nothing made sense. The trip to the castle had been short. The barrier that hid the expansive structure had disappeared long enough to allow the riders to enter before it had been secured once more.

Her shoulders ached, her hands were numb. The samurai who had tied her wrists hadn't left even a little give for her to move her hands at all.

An oppressive aura hung over the courtyard. Akin to the miasma that lingered around Naraku's castle, it clung to Kagome like a stifling blanket. She shook her head quickly, blinking as she tried to clear her mind. ` _Why did I think about him? It . . . it makes no sense_ . . .'

Hisadaicho stepped out of the castle followed by the hulking form of a human servant. Kagome's eyes flared as she took in the man. He had an empty look in his shadowy gaze, an emptiness that chilled her to the bone. ` _Like he doesn't have a soul_ . . .'

Hisadaicho held a small earthenware urn, caressed it lovingly, her eyes sparking to life as she stared at Kagome. With a jerk of her head, the samurais filed out of the gates. Kagome swallowed hard. ` _They're expecting InuYasha_ _. . ._ _Please hurry_ . . .'

Hisadaicho clapped her hands gleefully, her face twisting into a delighted smile as she lifted her robes and hurried down the steps. “At last, Kagome . . . I want to thank you for being so punctual.”

“I wasn't really given a choice, was I?” Kagome challenged as she tried not to peek over at Shippou. The kitsune moaned. Kagome felt the color seep out of her skin at the sound. “What do you want with me?”

Hisadaicho shrugged as she reached out, wrapped her hand around the Shikon no Tama and yanked. “First things first. We must buy some time . . . I'd imagine your puppy is closing in fast. We don't want him to find us, now do we?”

Kagome stared at the Shikon no Tama, still glowing pink in Hisadaicho's open palm. “It won't matter. InuYasha will _always_ come for me.”

“I'm sure he will. If he's lucky, he might even arrive in time to bid you a fond farewell.”

She waved toward the burly servant standing in the castle doorway. He strode over and yanked Shippou away from the samurai. He grabbed Kagome's arm and propelled her toward the castle.

The entire castle was as silent as a grave, eerie, frightening. She didn't look at anything as she was hustled from the room into a long corridor. Shippou whimpered. Kagome bit her lip. The corridor stopped at a dead end. Hisadaicho pressed her palm against the wall. It slid back, and panic surged again as the man shoved Kagome into the darkness.

“What do you want with me?” Kagome asked, proud of the way her voice didn't falter. Echoing off the narrow passageway, it somehow gave her courage, made her feel a little less frightened.

“We'll talk, Kagome. It's only fair, isn't it?”

The wall slid closed again, leaving Kagome in complete darkness. A cloying dread gripped her as she blinked quickly, as she willed her eyes to adjust. It was too dark, too encompassing, too terrifying. InuYasha had told her once, that his senses were dulled on his nights of vulnerability. Had he felt fear like this? Had he _ever_ felt fear before?

A sudden ache welled up in her. She gasped as she forced it away. ` _InuYasha . . . you're scared now, aren't you?_ ' That thought frightened her even more, and Kagome tried not to think about it anymore. If only she knew how close he was.

She wanted to see his face again.

The man shoved her roughly, and Kagome stumbled. Scuffing her feet on the floor as she walked, Kagome stumbled and careened into the wall. The material covering her shoulder ripped with an obscenely loud sound, and she couldn't stave back the tiny yelp of pain as her skin flamed from the impact.

“Careful, Aki. I need her unharmed,” Hisadaicho warned. The man grunted in reply as they continued in the darkness.

“Why do you need me?”

Hisadaicho's chuckle—an otherwise warm sound—turned Kagome's blood cold in her veins. “Don't you know? I need you to fix something that you destroyed—you and that mongrel mate of yours. I need you to restore my koishii.”

“I didn't . . . I never . . .”

Her chuckle escalated into a harsh, bitter laugh that echoed through the corridor and made Kagome wince. “But you did! It doesn't matter, you see? You're the answer, and the beauty is that in bringing back my koishii, I'll be destroying every last one of your friends, starting with the hanyou.”

Irrational anger rose inside Kagome, black and ugly and thicker than the darkness she blundered through. “You can't touch InuYasha! You don't dare!” Kagome challenged, anger that Hisadaicho would dare threaten the people she loved nudging reason aside.

Aki growled, grabbing a handful of Kagome's hair. She hissed in pain but didn't cry out.

“That's enough, Aki. Her righteous indignation is fine. You can't stop me, miko. I could care less about you or your hanyou . . . but you _will_ help me.”

“I won't,” Kagome insisted when Aki let go with another shove. This time she caught herself before she stumbled.

Hisadaicho snorted. “Hmm . . . you will. I have your kitsune, remember?”

“No, Kagome, you can't— _o_ _w!_ ” Shippou wailed. Kagome whipped around only to barrel into Aki's chest. He grabbed Kagome's arm and spun her around once more.

The air thickened as they walked. The jyaki didn't lessen but was mingled with oppressive youki energy instead. Kagome's knees nearly buckled as she moved forward. Almost past the limits of what she could stand, she could sense the presence of too many youkai, the presence of pure evil.

The corridor ended abruptly, opening into a huge cavern. They stood at the top on a high ledge, but at least Kagome could see in here. The rough walls glowed with the strength of the aura, and as she stood, staring down into the void below, she felt a tug between her hands, a sharp pang as the rope that held her hands suddenly fell away.

Before she could stifle the groan from her muscles cramping in protest, Kagome screamed as Aki shoved her once more, and she tumbled off the cliff into the darkness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Jyaki:** wicked energy.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from InuYasha: ******  
> Damn that fucking wolf …  
>  ==========  
> 


	78. The Dream

 

~~ ** _Chapter 78_** ~~  
~ ** _The Dream_** ~

 

Sango awoke with a stifled scream, sitting up straight as her eyes flashed wide open. “No!”

Miroku stirred beside her, rubbing his eyes as he squelched a yawn with the back of his hand. “Sango? Is something wrong?”

Breaking out in a cold sweat that drenched her hair, her skin, her clothes, Sango swallowed hard, choked down the lump that rose to thwart her, throat dry, rasping, cracking like parched earth. “I know her,” she whispered into the darkness, her eyes wild, confused as she turned a pleading stare on Miroku. “I _know_ her!”

“Who?” Miroku asked, scowling in bewilderment.

Sango shook her head. “That woman I saw, that day in the forest! The one who said Kagome would try to take Mari . . . She seemed familiar, houshi-sama . . . and she was.”

Miroku seemed to wake up completely at that. Sitting up, he turned toward Sango and scowled. “How do you know her?”

Sango drew a ragged breath, wiping the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. “I dreamed about that night—the night my people were killed. When I was in the castle afterward, I remember . . . she was there, but . . . she was different . . . human . . . Her eyes . . . her eyes were different . . .”

“Are you certain?” Miroku asked slowly, measuring his words, deliberately keeping his tone neutral. “You had trouble remembering later, when we went back to find the castle. Are you positive you saw her there?”

Sango tossed back the thin blanket and scrambled to her feet. Stalking to the window to stare at the early summer night, she scowled into the darkness. “I know what I saw, houshi-sama. It was her—Emi—Hisadaicho.”

Miroku didn't answer as he stood up, too. Sango felt him behind her before he touched her shoulder, before he slipped his arms around her waist.

“Why did she come here, Miroku? What does she want?”

Craning her neck to stare up at her husband, Sango winced at the foreboding darkness that fell over Miroku's gaze. He didn't look at her as he stared over her head into the night. Another shiver ran up Sango's spine as his unspoken concern became hers, too. “No . . .”

Miroku shook his head. “Let's pray that InuYasha reaches her in time.”

“But Kagome left with Kouga.”

The monk's jaw twitched as he nodded once. “So she did.”

A haunting sense of foreboding washed over Sango's body, leaving her cold, clammy, and very, very afraid. “Do you sense something?”

Miroku blinked suddenly, forced a smile. “Hmm? Uh . . . no, nothing. Let's go back to bed.”

Sango watched as Miroku dropped his arms and wandered back to the futon. ` _He does sense something . . . he knows . . . there's something wrong_ . . .' She turned her gaze out the window again, staring at the moon in the sky. ` _InuYasha will save her. Kagome . . . be safe_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Kagome shrieked as she slid down the steep incline. Stubbing her feet as she landed at the bottom of the slope, she pitched forward, landing on her hands and knees as pain erupted from each limb to ricochet straight to her brain. As the sharpness of the pains subsided

Kagome slowly pushed herself to her feet, lifting her chin to stare up at the darkened forms hulking so high above her. The only thing she could hear was her own breathing but the youki she'd sensed above was thicker down here, heavier. A shiver ran up her spine. ` _Something is . . . staring at me_ . . .'

“Are you prepared?” Hisadaicho called to her.

Kagome winced at the giddy pleasure in Hisadaicho's voice. “Prepared for what?” she forced herself to ask despite the rising dread that threatened to choke her.

Maniacal laughter filled the air, as though Kagome had made a joke. Kagome saw the glowing pink orb of the Shikon no Tama as Hisadaicho held it up in her fingers. “I told you. I need you to help me restore my koishii.”

` _Keep her talking,_ ' Kagome thought wildly. ` _Keep her talking until InuYasha gets here_ . . .' “Wh-wh-who?” she asked, fighting to keep her desperation out of her voice. “Who is he? Your koishii?”

“Who, indeed?” Hisadaicho hissed, her laughter evaporating like fog in the sunshine. “Think, Kagome. You _enjoyed_ what you did to him. You _relished_ it.”

Kagome shook her head quickly. “I didn't . . . What you say makes no sense. I wouldn't have—”

“You thought you won, but you didn't. This time, I will prevail, and you will be my catalyst. I had a plan, you see,” she gloated as a low whine escaped Shippou only to be cut off by Aki's arms. “First, I had to get rid of Kikyou. Aside from the fact that you needed your entire soul, she was instrumental in my koishii's destruction. Then there was that damned wolf. He has been more useful to me alive . . . for now.”

“What did you do to him?” Kagome demanded, anger nudging aside reason as she forgot her ploy to keep Hisadaicho talking, to keep her reminiscing until InuYasha could reach her.

“The fool could have killed me. Too bad his lips were close enough. I sucked out part of his soul . . . just enough to put him under my power. Not enough that you couldn't see the difference until it was too late. Clever, wasn't it? You and your pathetic heart. Your healing soul . . . tell me, where has that gotten you now? You can't even save yourself. Both you and your darling kitsune will pay.”

“Leave Shippou alone! He's a child!” Kagome yelled, thick panic welling in her at the mention of Shippou and his precarious position. Aki's arms tightened around the kitsune, and Kagome darted forward a few steps when he whined.

“Cooperate with me or he will die,” Hisadaicho retorted. “Why else would he be allowed to come along?”

“You're evil,” Kagome said quietly, her voice shaking with her frustrated rage. “Pure evil.”

“Evil, perhaps, but you see the beauty of my plan? The great and mighty Sesshoumaru has been broken, humbled. My samurais will dispose of your love since they cannot die. He shall cut them down, and they shall rise again. Who do you think will last longer?”

Hot fury scorched through Kagome, seared her veins as she struggled for calm. “You can't hurt him,” Kagome challenged. “He's battled far worse than you or your undead soldiers. InuYasha will come for me.”

“I have little doubt that he'll try. By the time he finds us, it will be too late.”

Backing away in the darkness, Kagome fought back her fear as she tried to make out something—anything—in the darkness. “You still haven't answered my question,” she hedged, grasping for time. “Who are you doing this for?”

“Wouldn't it be better to ask me how you'll help me?”

Kagome shook her head. “I'll _never_ help you.”

Hisadaicho chuckled nastily. “Oh, but you will, Kagome. You will.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

` _Damn this to hell!_ '

InuYasha grimaced as he skidded to a stop on the rise of a large hill. The jyaki was thicker here, almost enough to choke him. If he didn't know better, he'd think that something should be standing here.

` _But Kagome's scent is here, damn it! I know it is!_ '

The open field before him seemed to tremble, shiver. He narrowed his gaze. ` _A barrier? Why can't I see it, then?_ '

Narrowing his gaze as he picked up a small rock, the hanyou hefted the stone a few times before chucking it straight ahead. The stone made contact with the invisible shield, and the ground shook, rattled. A hiss rumbled through the air as the barrier solidified just for a moment before righting itself once more.

InuYasha snorted as he ripped Tetsusaiga out of the scabbard. “Keh! Like that fucking matters!” he growled as the huge fang shifted into a blood-red hue. Shoving off the ground, InuYasha brought the sword over his head. “ _Akai Tetsusaiga!_ ” he hollered as he brought the blade down to meet the barrier.

In a flash of light and wind, the barrier dissolved. InuYasha landed on his haunches and glowered at the legions of samurais that surrounded the outer walls of the castle. Kagome's presence hit him hard, and he blinked quickly as he fought back the desire to go charging straight past all the samurais to find her.

They closed ranks around him. InuYasha stood up. ` _They're dead . . . every last one of `em_ ,' he realized as they came closer. Their body movements seemed jerky, stilted, and the reek of death clung heavy in the air. ` _Damn it! I don't have time for this!_ '

Whipping Tetsusaiga over his head as thin strands of wind wound around the blade, InuYasha slammed it down on the ground. “ _Kaze no Kizu!_ ”

Hundreds of samurais fell to the flames of the Wind Scar. InuYasha didn't have time to savor his victory as he swung Tetsusaiga against more soldiers. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the fallen men rise up again. ` _Fuck!_ '

Gritting his teeth as he leapt out of the way of a whizzing katana, InuYasha avoided the attack as his anger grew. ` _How the hell am I supposed to get to Kagome if they won't fucking stay dead?_ '

InuYasha leapt into the air and unleashed another Kaze no Kizu before propelling himself toward the gates. He managed to get half way there before the samurais resurrected. They closed in around him again. InuYasha growled in frustration.

He heard the whistle of a blade slicing through the air before he glanced over his shoulder. Sesshoumaru intercepted his gaze and narrowed his eyes for a moment before he slashed through more samurais with Tenseiga. The holy blade released the undead souls on contact, and this time the bodies did not rise again as the flesh disintegrated, leaving behind the bleached skeletons of those long-dead.

“If you think I'll say thank you, bastard, you've got another thing coming,” InuYasha snarled as he hacked the opposition and pressed further.

“Ungrateful baka,” Sesshoumaru remarked dryly. “You're so pathetic. Leave these aberrations to me. You're useless against the likes of them.”

InuYasha started away but stopped suddenly. “Did you kill him?”

Sesshoumaru didn't look back. “Kill who?”

“Keh! The fucking wolf! Did you kill him?”

Sesshoumaru spared InuYasha a condescending glance. “Does it matter? Or will you wait until it is too late to save your miko?”

InuYasha didn't wait to hear more. Cutting down the samurais that tried to bar his path, InuYasha finally burst through the barricade and into the empty courtyard. Following his nose, he dashed toward the doors, throwing his shoulder against them as they crashed open. The sound echoed through the seemingly-empty castle.

InuYasha raced inside, calling out as he trailed her scent, “ _Kagome!_ ”

He followed her scent down a corridor, unleashing a round of swears as he came up against the dead end. “Kagome!” he bellowed again, hoping that she would hear him, that she could answer him. Silence greeted his ears.

Where could she have gone? When he got his hands on Hisadaicho, he was going to rip her to shreds . . . ` _Kagome's here . . . I know she is . . . where the hell is she? Damn it!_ '

He could feel her presence, sense her near. He knew she had come down this corridor, but where had she gone?

“ _Fucking hell!_ ” InuYasha roared, slamming his fist into the wall. He nearly fell when the wall sprang open, and he stared into the darkness before him.

He didn't hesitate as he plunged headlong into the corridor. ` _Hang on, Kagome . . . don't give up on me_ . . .'

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

“I won't help you,” Kagome said, proud that her voice didn't waver.

“You believe you'll have a choice?” Hisadaicho challenged. “That would work if I were inclined to ask you. I'm impatient, however, which is why your kitsune is here, isn't it? You'll help me or he will die.”

“No!” Kagome screamed as Shippou shrieked in pain. “Don't touch him! Leave him alone, please!”

Hisadaicho's chuckle was dark, sinister, menacing. “So long as we understand one another, Kagome, your kitsune will be unharmed.”

“What do you want from me?” Kagome whispered, the papery-thin sound echoing in the voluptuous cavern.

“Do you know how this jewel was created?” she asked, ignoring Kagome's question. Holding up the Shikon no Tama once more, Hisadaicho turned it slightly as the Sacred Jewel of the Four Souls glowed in the darkness.

Kagome shook her head. “Midoriko . . . she fought youkai . . .”

A slow chill crept up her spine. There was something a little too unsettling in Hisadaicho's question, something that whispered a truth that Kagome didn't know if she wanted to hear.

“She was said to have been the most powerful miko anywhere, wasn't she?” Hisadaicho challenged. “There has never been another as strong—as pure—as Midoriko. There has not been another miko of legend like her . . . until you.”

“What do you mean?” Kagome asked, her voice cracking in the quiet.

“It's simple, Kagome. In order to bring my koishii back, I need more power than this simple little bauble can provide. Before that could happen, I needed you to complete your power.”

“What do you mean?” Kagome demanded. ` _InuYasha, where are you?_ '

“Surely you're not as simple as that,” Hisadaicho challenged, prowling the ledge high above with palpable impatience. “You were born a miko. You required no training, no instruction. What you required was experience to free your mind, to unlock your potential. You call it pure love. I call it nothing more than a dream. I have waited for this moment, Kagome. I've waited for the time when you would be ripe. The time is now.”

“That makes no sense!” Kagome argued. “I didn't do anything! I—”

“Didn't you, Kagome?” Hisadaicho scoffed. “But you did! Don't you see? In merging your soul with your filthy mate's soul, you have attained this power. In the healing of his spirit has come something else, as well. You have done this. You have accomplished the power I need now.”

“What power?”

“Come now. Surely you aren't as simple as that? Surely you know that of which I speak.”

The shrieking wail of a myriad of youkai drifted from the darkness to surround her. Kagome shivered as the sounds surrounded her, as the cries borne of rage threatened to shatter her. She knew what Hisadaicho wanted. There wasn't a doubt in her mind. Repulsed by the very idea of what Hisadaicho was demanding, Kagome shook her head again, refusing, denying, disbelieving. “You're crazy if you think I'll—”

“You'll do it. You have no choice. The very things that are your strengths are your weaknesses, too. Fight, Kagome. Fight the youkai. If you do not, all those you love will die, starting with the kitsune . . . and when you grow weary . . . when you lose the will to keep fighting, when you are left seething in your absolute desperation, then you shall merge your pure soul with them—with the bitterest dregs of the earth, and you shall become a whole new power . . . a whole new Shikon no Tama.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Akai Tetsusaiga:** Red Tetsusaiga, breaks barriers.  
>  == == == == == == == == == ==  
>  **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  Over my dead fucking body …  
> ==========


	79. A Battle of the Heart

 

~~ ** _Chapter 79_** ~~  
~ ** _A Battle of the Heart_** ~

 

A low rumble, a high-pitched wail goaded InuYasha faster as he hurtled down the corridor toward the flashing lights. His senses were in overdrive. He had a feeling what he would find but he didn't want to believe what he knew to be true. ` _Thousands of youkai . . . at least . . . what the hell is going on? Kagome_ . . .'

Another eruption of light cast eerie shadows up and down the corridor as InuYasha sprinted faster, feeling Kagome's presence growing stronger and stronger with every step he took and feeling the surges in her unmistakable power with every flash.

“ _Kagome!_ ”

InuYasha burst into the cavernous chamber and stopped short as Aki stepped in front of him to block his path. Tightening his grip on Tetsusaiga, the hanyou ground his teeth together as Shippou squealed beneath the heavy hand that stifled his nose and mouth. “Hiding behind the kit won't save you, you bastard,” InuYasha snarled as he raised his sword. “ _Kagome!_ ”

If she heard him, she didn't answer. Hisadaicho laughed from the darkened shadows behind Aki. “You're too late, InuYasha. A pity you didn't arrive sooner. I've won, you see? It's all a matter of time.”

“The only thing you've won is an early death, bitch,” InuYasha growled. “ _Kagome!_ ”

“Let him pass, Aki,” Hisadaicho commanded. The human stepped aside. InuYasha's glower locked with Shippou's. The kitsune was terrified. He could smell his fear. Whether he was more afraid for himself or for Kagome, InuYasha couldn't tell.

The human had the same vacant look about him that InuYasha had noticed in Kouga's expression, too. The only other difference was that this human didn't smell half-dead. He smelled far, far worse, as though he was nothing more than the living dead and yet not resurrected like the samurais InuYasha had left to Sesshoumaru. ` _He'll kill Shippou if I do anything, damn it_ . . .'

“She's weakening,” Hisadaicho mused, more to herself than to InuYasha. “Why don't you watch?”

Against his better judgment, InuYasha stepped closer to the edge and looked down. In the glow of the youkai that circled around her, Kagome stood with her hands out, eyes closed, body bathed in a soft pinkish light. “Kagome!” he screamed, his voice breaking as he started to jump off the side.

“Do it and the kitsune dies,” Hisadaicho said before InuYasha could move.

“ _No!_ ” Kagome screamed as a flash of light shot off her fingertips, engulfing a youkai that descended on her as it exploded. Parts of the youkai rained down around Kagome, and InuYasha winced. The bodies of slain youkai lay around Kagome's feet, buried her up to her knees, and still they came at her, and still she fought.

` _She . . . she won't stop fighting so long as Hisadaicho has Shippou_ ,' InuYasha thought with a grimace. ` _Damn it!_ ' He could sense her exhaustion, her body pushed beyond its limits as her mind—her will—made her fight.

“Why are you doing this?” InuYasha growled as he cracked his knuckles in unsatisfied anger.

“To bring back my koishii,” Hisadaicho scoffed. “You took my koishii . . . it's only fitting that yours will bring him back.”

“ _Who?_ ”

Hisadaicho's eyes narrowed as she finally turned her glare on InuYasha, lavender eyes glowing with a malignant light. “Does the name Kagewaki mean anything to you?”

InuYasha's eyes flared. “Kagewa—we didn't kill him! Naraku did!”

“You lie!” Hisadaicho spat. “You killed him! You and that bitch! _She_ will fix it, and you . . . I'll let him deal with you!”

Kagewaki . . . Hitomi-sama . . . Naraku had killed him long ago, had adopted Kagewaki's face, had taken over his castle . . . Onigumo had no face because of the burns he'd suffered. Naraku . . .

“You can't bring him back,” InuYasha growled. “That bastard destroyed people's lives! He didn't give a damn about anyone or anything . . . do you really think you're any different? Naraku will use you then he'll throw you away, but maybe that's just what you fucking deserve!”

“You know nothing!” she spat, her grip tightening around the urn in one hand, the Shikon no Tama in the other. “There is no `Naraku! My koishii—my Kagewaki—he will not abandon me!”

InuYasha's retort was cut off by a flash of green that whipped through the air. He saw it out of the corner of his eye as Shippou squealed. Moments later, the kitsune was on InuYasha's shoulder, quivering as he struggled to breathe.

Hisadaicho shrieked in fury as the rich scent of blood hit InuYasha's nose as he brought Tetsusaiga up level with the butterfly hanyou's chest. “Don't fucking move or I'll gut you.”

“Retrieve your mate, InuYasha,” Sesshoumaru ordered calmly. “Let me deal with _her_.”

InuYasha opened his mouth to argue. Another explosion of light cut him off. “Kagome!” he yelled, brushing Shippou off his shoulder as he leapt off the ledge, landing neatly between Kagome and a vicious-looking dragon youkai.

Kagome had her eyes squeezed closed as the gentle light of her miko's aura surrounded her and extended to him. He could feel her exhaustion radiating from her body, and he winced. “InuYasha?” she mumbled as she slowly opened her eyes. “You . . . came . . . for me.”

“Keh! Don't be stupid, wench. You knew I would.”

She managed a very weak smile as she collapsed against his back. “So glad.”

“Hang on, Kagome.”

“. . . Okay.”

Her trust, her unshakable belief in him was enough, lending him strength, heart, as he faced the waves of youkai that closed in on them. “ _Kaze no Kizu!_ ” he hollered as he brought the blade down. The earth trembled under them, groaned with the impact of the Wind Scar. Kagome's miko energy surrounded them both, exploded in a flash of light. The screams of the youkai rang out in the cavern, echoed to the heights above. The air was full of the acrid stench of the shattering youkai; their dusty remains floating down on them like ashes on the wind.

With a soft exhalation, Kagome's grip on InuYasha's haori loosened. She crumpled to the ground as a flash of green light snapped on the ledge high above. InuYasha whipped around and grimaced. Lying amidst the horrific parts of countless youkai, her ashen skin glowed despite the darkness. “Kagome,” he rasped out as he dropped to his knees. She didn't belong here. She never should have been forced to fight.

Hands shaking as he impatiently shoved Tetsusaiga into the scabbard, InuYasha gently scooped Kagome up, cradled her against his chest as he shook her. “Come on, Kagome . . . wake up.”

InuYasha winced. ` _No, baka . . . not here. Don't let her wake up here_ . . .'

“Get her out of here, InuYasha,” Sesshoumaru's voice rang out in the cave. “The jyaki is too thick in here, and she is but a mortal.”

For once, InuYasha didn't argue with his half-brother. As much as he wanted to deal with Hisadaicho himself, Kagome had to be his first priority. Grunting as he pushed off the ground, he paused long enough to yank Shippou up where he cowered near the corridor entrance before shooting Sesshoumaru one last look before he sprinted into the length of the hallway. ` _Come on, wench . . . you're stronger than this, remember? Come on_ . . .'

“InuYasha?” Shippou's voice was timid, scared, shaky. “Will she be okay?”

InuYasha bit back the lump that tried to choke him. “Keh!” he scoffed as he picked up speed. “'Course she will. She's Kagome, ain't she?”

Shippou shivered. “She wanted Kagome to . . . to make another Shikon no Tama . . . she wanted Kagome to—”

“Shut up!” InuYasha interrupted with a snarl. “That ain't fucking happening.”

Bursting through the broken wall into the pale grayish glow that filled the castle, InuYasha turned enough to ram his shoulder against the doors as he broke free of the castle into the dismal light of the overcast dawn.

He dropped to his knees in the middle of the skeleton-ridden courtyard as Shippou hopped down, wringing his hands as he blinked back tears, staring at Kagome's pale face.

“Wake up,” InuYasha murmured as he gently tapped Kagome's cheek. “Come on, wench . . . yell at me for taking too long . . . I'm sorry, Kagome . . . I'm sorry . . .”

She didn't stir.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Sesshoumaru stepped over the decapitated body of Hisadaicho's servant as he slowly stalked toward her.

“You allowed her to escape!” Hisadaicho hissed. “I need her!”

“You have meddled with too many lives to count. This Sesshoumaru has had enough.”

“You're no match for me,” she scoffed as she started to reach into her kimono. “You were brought to your knees by a ghost from your past! Do you wish to see her again? I could arrange it . . .”

Sesshoumaru flicked out his energy whip again, catching Hisadaicho's wrist and dragging it away. The whip caught the chain of the Shikon no Tama, sending the jewel flying through the air. With a furious screech, Hisadaicho lunged for it. Sesshoumaru shoved her back. She hit the wall hard. He reached out, caught the jewel, stared at it for a long moment before he shoved it into his armor. “I don't think you will be needing this,” he remarked as he watched Hisadaicho straighten her back.

“You fool! I won't be defeated by the likes of you! I am Hisadaicho! I am eternal!”

“I grow weary of your rambling,” Sesshoumaru commented. “You are nothing but an abomination, a vile perversion of youkai.” Flicking out his whip once more, he caught the hand that held the urn. With a quick jerk, the urn slipped from her fingers, shattering on the dirty stone floor. She shrieked in anger, in pain as the purple mist spread. Sesshoumaru's eyes flared in recognition as his lip curled slightly in complete abhorrence. “Naraku.”

Hisadaicho growled as her fingers curled into claws at her sides. “There _is_ no Naraku! He was Kagewaki, and you—you and your filthy brother—all of you who destroyed him!”

“I know nothing of Kagewaki,” Sesshoumaru bit out coldly. “That miasma that taints you . . . that is Naraku.”

With an unearthly shriek, Hisadaicho lunged at the tai-youkai, her hands outstretched as she raked, clawed the air, tried to reach him.

Sesshoumaru shoved her back again. She stumbled back off the ledge, and with another screech, she fell.

The purple smoke crawled across the floor, seeped into the crevices, the cracks in the ground. A tremor rumbled through the cavern. Sesshoumaru spared a glance around as the first bits of rock and dirt crumbled down the walls.

“You can't destroy me,” Hisadaicho called from the crevasse below. “Now prepare to _die!_ ”

The flash of energy was easily avoided. Sesshoumaru sidestepped the ball of light just before it struck him. It flew past him, smashing into the wall with a trembling thud.

Hisadaicho fired off two more blasts. Sesshoumaru ducked as the second one sailed over his head. The double impact rumbled through the air, an ominous groan emanating from the walls. The tiny scurry of the pebbles cascading from high above nearly drew a smile from Sesshoumaru. “Are you frustrated?” he taunted without raising his voice. “I thought you said I should prepare to die.”

He hid his grim amusement as Hisadaicho gathered a massive ball of energy. Another low groan emanated from the walls. Whether Hisadaicho didn't hear it or didn't understand what it meant didn't matter. Sesshoumaru knew. His eyes glowed in the half-light as he shot to the side to avoid the huge humming ball of light whizzed past him. The groaning escalated as larger rocks shook free, tumbling down the walls in a sinister landslide.

Sesshoumaru drew Tokijin, held it by his side as the butterfly hanyou collected more energy. She unleashed the blast as Sesshoumaru flew forward, down the side of the ravine, closing in on Hisadaicho as he neatly avoided that attack, as well. His eyes flashed with irate fire as he let her see the consuming hatred that he had masked so well.

Tokijin flashed in a blur of movement, the glint of the blade. Hisadaicho opened her mouth to cry out, tried to stumble back out of the path of the sword. The sound of her scream was muffled by the shock of her attack striking the wall. The groan surged into a moan; the moan rose into a howl. Blood sprayed from the deep gash, flew through the air to mist Sesshoumaru's arm.

Her body evaporated in an explosion of ash and dust.

Sesshoumaru blinked in surprise as he lifted his gaze to the slowly falling debris. He thought her death would satisfy him, that he would be pleased with the satisfaction of revenge. Killing Hisadaicho didn't bring back Kagura. He knew now that she never should have been returned to a living body. It didn't serve to quell the ferocious tide of pain that ripped through him. He felt empty instead, emotionless and cold, and as he turned back to leap out of the pit, the creak, the groan, the rumbling walls snapped, broke free with a deafening rumble of earth and stone and darkness with the pulse of a heartbeat.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Shippou scurried back with a wet rag in his little hands and held it out to InuYasha. The hanyou's hands were still shaking as he gently wiped Kagome's face, as he smoothed back her hair. Her color was returning to normal. If only she would open her eyes . . .

The kitsune danced from one foot to the other as he wrung his hands and gnawed on his bottom lip. Time and again, he opened his mouth but didn't speak, thinking better of it when he saw InuYasha's worried expression.

“Kagome,” InuYasha mumbled in a tone that stopped Shippou's nervous movements, the sound of his voice was one that the kitsune had heard before, but only once. Raw, thick, choked, it brought to mind the time when InuYasha had thought they were dead so long ago. “Please, Kagome . . .”

“She'll be okay, InuYasha? Right? She'll wake up soon and . . . and then we can go home . . .”

InuYasha didn't answer. Dropping the rag, he pulled Kagome into his arms, cradling her against his chest as he bent his head. His bangs hid his face. Shippou flinched when he smelled it—the sting of tears.

A soft moan, almost an exhalation, made InuYasha sit up straighter. Kagome stirred slightly, wincing as her eyes fluttered a few times.

“Kagome!” Shippou exclaimed as his own tears finally spilled over.

She slowly opened her eyes, blinking slowly as she gazed up into InuYasha's face. “You're . . . don't . . .” she trailed off, slipping her hand up to gently wipe his cheeks. “Is it over?”

InuYasha shook his head as he heaved a sigh of relief. “Sesshoumaru's still in there . . . I had to get you out.”

Shippou wanted to hug her. He wanted her to hug him. He settled for patting her arm, contenting himself with just being able to touch her. Kagome stared at InuYasha for a few more moments before she turned her head to gaze at Shippou. Her contented expression suddenly dissolved as tears filled her own eyes, as she struggled to sit up. “Shippou! Oh, Shippou! I'm sorry! This is all my fault, and—”

Shippou threw himself against Kagome's chest, tried his best to wrap his arms around her neck as her tears fell in his hair. To his amazement, InuYasha wrapped his arms around them both, and for several minutes, they sat there together. Words seemed unnecessary in the stillness as the first droplets of rain fell. It was enough that they were all alive, that they were together.

A low rumble broke the silence, drifting up from the ground like the roll of thunder. InuYasha's arms fell away as he gently moved Kagome aside and stood as he pulled off his haori and dropped it over her shoulders. “Stay here,” he commanded.

“InuYasha?”

The ground shook under them as InuYasha turned back to the castle. Breaking into a sprint as he dragged Tetsusaiga out of the scabbard, he was almost at the doors when the jarring crash quaked through the very foundation.

“InuYasha!” Kagome shrieked as he fell back, away from the structure. Moments later, the castle collapsed. Burying Shippou's face against her chest to block the debris that flew from the pile of falling wreckage, Kagome screamed InuYasha's name once more. A thick cloud of dust obscured her view. It took several minutes for it to clear enough for her to see.

InuYasha sat up slowly, staring at the destroyed castle. He stood stiffly, shook his head as he gaped. Kagome's relief was short-lived as InuYasha stumbled forward, dropped to his knees as he started digging at the debris frantically, as though he'd lost something that he desperately had to find.

“Sesshoumaru!” he bellowed, his voice thickened by the dust that still hung in the air as the rain started to fall in earnest. “Damn it, you bastard! _Answer me!_ ”

InuYasha's voice echoed in the eerie quiet.

Sesshoumaru didn't answer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from Kagome:**  
>  Surely Sesshoumaru didn't . . . ?


	80. Recovery

 

~~ ** _Chapter 80_** ~~  
~ ** _Recovery_** ~

 

Shippou scrambled off Kagome's lap as the miko pushed herself to her shaky feet. InuYasha screamed again and again, his voice growing angrier, more desperate with every passing minute. She stumbled forward, touched InuYasha's shoulder as the hanyou tossed a huge wooden beam aside. “InuYasha . . .”

“Why does he have to be such a bastard?” InuYasha bellowed as he shrugged off Kagome's hand. She winced as he muscled a large section of wall up and, with a mighty push, sent it flying back. “ _Sesshoumaru!_ ”

Kagome gasped as her head jerked to the side. Narrowing her gaze as she stared off into the distance, she could feel the pulse of something familiar pulling her, calling to her. “InuYasha? Can you . . . ?”

He didn't spare her a glance as he continued rummaging through the rubble. “Damn you, bastard! Where the fuck are you?”

“InuYasha! The jewel . . .”

InuYasha stopped and glanced back at her, his gaze torn by rage, by concern that he fought to hide. “What?”

Kagome shook her head as she wandered forward, lured by the Shikon no Tama. InuYasha caught her arm and pulled her back. She gasped softly as Sesshoumaru stepped out of the heavy foliage of the dense forest. Staring down in obvious disgust at a jagged tear in his otherwise still-pristine white sleeve, he lowered his arm as he strode toward them as he turned his head slowly, his amber eyes rising to meet InuYasha's incredulous stare. “It is over. Hisadaicho is dead, and Naraku's youki has been dispelled.”

“How did you get out?” InuYasha demanded, his frown shifting into a suspicious glower.

Sesshoumaru's cold gaze flicked over his half-brother. “Does it matter?”

“Yeah, I think it does,” InuYasha challenged. Kagome put a hand on his arm to stop him. InuYasha shrugged her off.

Sesshoumaru didn't answer as he dug the Shikon no Tama out of his armor and deliberately stepped around InuYasha to drop it into Kagome's hand. She stared at the glowing pink orb for several moments. “Perhaps,” he allowed as he turned his back on them to walk away, “Tenseiga isn't as useless as I once believed.”

InuYasha didn't say anything as he watched Sesshoumaru walk away. Kagome stepped up beside him and leaned on his arm as she watched the lone figure retreating into the forest. She started to go after him. InuYasha caught her and pulled her back. “I've got to go! I've got to thank him!”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. Forget it. He wasn't trying to help us. He just wanted revenge.”

“Maybe,” Kagome agreed as she watched Sesshoumaru disappear into the trees. “Getting revenge doesn't really help, does it? I mean, he can't get back what he lost.”

InuYasha shook his head, his eyes serious, sad. “Lost stuff, huh? That reminds me.”

Kagome sucked in a sharp breath as InuYasha pulled the fang necklace from the folds of his haori. Carefully tugging it over his head, he grimaced as he stared at it. She reached out to take it from him but he pulled his hand away, shaking his head just a little. Carefully, gently, he placed the chain over her head and drew her hair out from under it before he touched the fang, fingers trembling. His eyes bright, solemn, he tried to smile.

“I thought it was gone,” she admitted as tears stung her eyes. “I thought—”

“Come on, wench,” he interrupted, his voice gruff but not unkind. “I'll take you home.”

Kagome nodded as he pulled her onto his back and called for Shippou to move it. The kitsune skittered over and hopped onto InuYasha's shoulder before the hanyou sprinted in the opposite direction of Sesshoumaru's exit.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

It seemed to Kagome that she'd slept the better portion of the week that followed. Kaede had wanted to question her. Miroku and Sango had been anxious to talk to her, too. InuYasha had refused them all, barring the door to their hut despite Kagome's weak protests that she was fine.

She hadn't realized how exhausted she really was. Between naps, she'd overheard InuYasha outside as he spoke with Kaede. She'd told InuYasha about Hisadaicho's desire to make her fight, to force her to create another Shikon no Tama. He'd looked positively sick after that. She wasn't sure what he was thinking, but his protectiveness after that had practically doubled.

“ _If I'd have been a little later,” InuYasha growled angrily, “it might have happened_ . . .”

“ _Ye should not dwell on what might have happened, InuYasha,” Kaede chided. “Kagome is strong. She always has been_.”

“ _Keh! You didn't see her, you hag! She . . . she collapsed. If I . . . damn it! I have half a mind to find that damned bastard of a half-brother of mine, steal Tenseiga, find that bitch's body, and resurrect her so I can kill her, too._ ”

“ _Kagome will be fine,” Kaede maintained_.

_InuYasha sighed. “I keep wondering if Hisadaicho did something to her_.”

“ _Like what?_ ”

“ _Why's she so tired? It's been days, and I put my fang back on her. It should help, right?_ ”

_Kaede clucked her tongue. “_ _Physically, Kagome is fine. Her exhaustion is mental. She has not been trained as a miko. The battle she fought was all instinctive_.”

Kagome sat up on the futon and winced, her back tight and knotted in what felt like a million different places. That conversation had been the day after they'd returned to the village. Since then, InuYasha had been adamant that she rest. The only time he didn't argue with her about getting up was when she had to use the bathroom, and even then he followed her and insisted that she keep chatting with him as she did her business. He said he wasn't afraid that she would be kidnapped again. Kagome had to wonder if he thought she was on the brink of death or something instead.

As if he could tell that she was sitting up, InuYasha stomped inside with a dark scowl as he shot Kagome the `I-thought-I-told-you' look. She held her hand up before he could start in on her. “Before you say anything, I'm feeling much better,” she insisted. “Well enough that I want to go home and have a real bath.”

He looked like he wanted to protest. He even opened his mouth to do it but suddenly whipped his head to the side as a low growl erupted from his chest. Kagome frowned as she watched InuYasha stalk over to the doorway as he cracked his knuckles.

“You've got some fucking nerve, showing your face around here. What the hell do you want?” he snarled.

Kagome threw the light blanket back and stood up, her muscles twitching from lack of use as she swayed just a little on her feet.

“I want to talk to Kagome.”

Kagome frowned as Kouga's voice drifted to her. She hurried forward but was blocked by InuYasha's arm.

“Are you fucking out of your mind? You're not coming anywhere near her, you got that?” InuYasha growled.

“It's all right, InuYasha,” Kagome spoke up. “I want to hear what he has to say.”

InuYasha didn't look like he agreed. He snorted. “Keh. Fine. Fucking talk then, wolf, and make it fast before I decide to gut you on principle.”

Kouga's jaw twitched as he stared at the ground and nodded. “I'm sorry, Kagome. When I found Hisadaicho . . . she kissed me before I could stop her, and she sucked out part of my soul, I guess. I didn't realize what I was doing until Sesshoumaru broke her control. When she died and the part of my soul was restored, I didn't . . . I didn't remember what I'd done. I remembered yesterday, and I came to tell you . . .”

“If you think I'm gonna buy that load of crap—”

“He's telling the truth, InuYasha,” Kagome interrupted as she gently placed her hands on InuYasha's arm.

“Wench—”

“I don't blame you, Kouga. It's okay. Hisadaicho . . . she never should have done that to you.”

Kouga nodded and tried to smile. His eyes still carried the scars of his perceived betrayal. “I'm . . . uh . . . sorry, too . . . for what I did to Shippou.”

Kagome frowned as Kouga turned and walked back toward the forest. His back straight and proud, his stance rigid and warrior-like, and yet she could see the sadness in the aura that surrounded him. It would be a long time before the wolf youkai would be able to forgive himself. Some scars ran deeper than others, and those scars were the ones that the human eye couldn't see.

` _What's happened to me?_ ' Kagome wondered as InuYasha scooped her up to take her to the well—to her home. ` _Why can I see these things now?_ '

“That fucking wolf . . . if he comes anywhere near you again, I'll scoop his guts out with my bare hands,” InuYasha fumed.

Kagome sighed and let her forehead fall against InuYasha's shoulder. ` _Hisadaicho wanted to use me to create another Shikon no Tama . . . she wanted to bring Kagewaki back to life, but . . . but in reality, it was Naraku's doing. She killed Kikyou. She brought Kagura back just to hurt Sesshoumaru. She used Kouga, too_ _. . ._ _Maybe . . . maybe there really wasn't anything good left inside her, after all_.'

The fleeting memory of Sesshoumaru, of his silent departure, shot through her mind, and Kagome winced inwardly. Out of everyone who had suffered from Hisadaicho's twisted plan, Kagome couldn't help but think that what the butterfly hanyou had done to Sesshoumaru was the worst of all. ` _There's got to be something_ . . .'

She closed her eyes as InuYasha streaked through the forest. The sadness that surrounded Sesshoumaru, whether he realized she could sense it or not, tore at her. Though she didn't doubt for a second that he would deny it, that he was much too proud to admit to the pain he felt inside, Kagome had sensed it, and despite the reason behind his assistance, it was enough that Sesshoumaru had helped them.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Sango sat in the shade of the sakura tree beside Miroku as Marisaiko played with her rattle. Shippou and Ichisaru played near the riverbank; their happy voices drifting back to the humans as the youkai children darted back and forth without a care in the world. “So Hisadaicho was fooled into believing that Kagewaki was her love?” she asked as she stared at the gently flowing river.

Miroku nodded. “Apparently. That's what InuYasha said.”

Sango frowned. “Kagewaki was a decent man. How could she not realize that something had changed? Naraku was twisted and evil.”

“Sometimes we see what we want to see, Sango. Surely you know this better than most. You watched your entire family die, and yet you still believed that Kohaku was not to blame.”

“But he wasn't,” she argued. “It was Naraku.”

Miroku shrugged as he plucked a blade of grass and methodically tore it into bits. “It's the same, isn't it? Hisadaicho didn't want to see that Kagewaki had ceased to exist so she chose to believe Naraku's lies instead. You didn't want to believe Kohaku could do such a thing, even though you saw it with your own eyes. The difference was that what you chose to believe and what she did . . . you were right in your belief. She wasn't.”

“I still don't understand how Naraku managed to do it; how he transformed her.”

Miroku sighed as he considered her question. “It's my guess that, since Naraku was made up of so many different youkai, that he did something similar to create her as he did to create the rest of his incarnations.”

“So you think that she was created by merging her soul with youkai?”

“Something like that. We'll never know for sure, but it seems to be that way. InuYasha said that she emerged from a cocoon. That must have been where she was transformed.”

“But according to InuYasha and the children, she didn't smell like one of Naraku's incarnations.”

“She wouldn't. She started out like him: a human. That was why InuYasha didn't catch on to her sooner . . . and she didn't want to be discovered, either,” Miroku reasoned.

“I cannot believe that Kagewaki had anything to do with Hisadaicho's creation,” Sango said slowly. “Kagewaki was a decent man. He couldn't have changed her into what she became.”

Miroku nodded in agreement. “You're right. I doubt Kagewaki had anything at all to do with it. Hitomi-sama took you into the castle. I doubt he could have realized what Naraku was going to do.”

“And Naraku was the one who tainted the jewel's aura,” Sango mused with a sad little smile. “His evil was deeper than anyone could have guessed.”

“He planned for all contingencies, didn't he? He just never expected that Kagome would be even more powerful than he had suspected.”

Sango nodded, accepting Miroku's reasons since they did make sense and since there was no real way to find out the absolute truth to any of it. “InuYasha said that Tenseiga must have transported Sesshoumaru out of the cavern before it collapsed,” she mused as she ruffled their daughter's hair.

“That surprised me. I thought it was the connection between Tenseiga and Tetsusaiga that had saved Sesshoumaru before.”

“Maybe Sesshoumaru has gained a deeper understanding of Tenseiga. Maybe that's why it saved him.”

Miroku's smile was almost wistful as he reached over to cup Sango's cheek, smoothed her hair out of her face. “That could very well be.”

Sango sighed and smiled wanly, sadly. “Houshi-sama . . . I've been thinking.”

Miroku's violet gaze met hers, serious, steady. “All right.”

“I think it's time to go home. I think . . . I think we should return to the exterminators' village. I think we could rebuild it.”

Miroku didn't answer right away. “I thought you'd come to think of this place as your home.”

“A second one, perhaps,” she agreed quietly. “I think I need to lay my past to rest. I need to see something grow from the pain of my own past. I owe it to you, and I owe it to me, but mostly I owe it to Marisaiko. I want her to know the stories I knew of the exterminators and of my family . . . I want to show her that things can be rebuilt.”

Miroku's smile was tender, bright. “As you wish, my darling Sango. I would follow you anywhere.”

She smiled back, her eyes sparkling brighter than the Shikon no Tama.

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

Mrs. Higurashi set a steaming cup of ramen before InuYasha and sank down in her normal seat at the table as she slowly shook her head in disbelief. “That's quite some tale,” she finally said with a heavy sigh.

InuYasha pushed the noodles around in the cup and shrugged a little too casually. “Keh.”

“Do you want to tell me what's troubling you?”

He made a face as he glared at the cup he held in his hand. “It's nothing,” he muttered.

Mrs. Higurashi leveled a no-nonsense look at InuYasha as she sat back and folded her arms over her chest. “If it was nothing, you'd tell me.”

InuYasha quirked his ears, listening to make sure Kagome was still barricaded in the bathroom as she had been for the last forty-five minutes. “She's different,” he grumbled, ears flattening with the admission. “She . . . she won't talk.”

Mrs. Higurashi nodded her head as she digested what InuYasha had told her. “Maybe she just needs time to sort things out. From what you've said, she's been through a lot.”

InuYasha didn't look convinced. He made a face as he pushed the untouched ramen aside. “I . . . I let her down.”

“How did you do that?”

Face contorting in self-disgust, InuYasha crossed his arms stubbornly. “I promised her before that she'd never have to fight,” he growled, ears twitching nervously. “I told her that, and . . .”

“I doubt Kagome feels like you let her down at all,” Mrs. Higurashi stated gently. “I think you're the only one who ever thought you'd be able to make good on that. My daughter is a strong young woman.”

“That ain't it,” he argued. “It ain't that I didn't think she was strong enough. I just . . . I never . . . I don't _want_ her to have to be.”

“InuYasha?”

He grimaced as he shot to his feet, chair slipping back against the counter with a loud scrape and a dull thump. Blushing furiously as he whipped around to meet Kagome's steady gaze, he glared at the floor, angry that he hadn't been more attuned to her approach.

“I want to go back,” she murmured. “I need to do something.”

“Are you sure, Kagome? Maybe you should rest a few more days,” Mrs. Higurashi coaxed.

Kagome shook her head and smiled. “No, I've rested enough. I need to do something. I probably should have done it long ago.”

The glimmer of the Shikon no Tama caught InuYasha's eye. Kagome held it in her hand, fingers curled loosely around the sacred jewel, and it pulsed in time with the beat of her heart. His frown deepened as he gazed at the orb. The pink had faded; the jewel was nearly white now. Kagome had somehow managed to dispel the evil aura that had prevented the jewel from being purified but the question was, _how_?

She fastened the chain around her neck as the orb glowed bright.

He nodded as he stepped back. Kagome smiled at him as she hurried past to hug her mother. “I'll be back soon, Mama . . . I hope.”

Mrs. Higurashi hugged Kagome, the expression on her face telling Kagome that she understood. “All right, dear.”

“Tell Souta and Grandpa that I love them, if . . .”

“They know you do,” Mrs. Higurashi assured her, understanding what Kagome couldn't bring herself to say. “We all just want what's best for you, dear. You know that.”

Kagome nodded and blinked quickly as she turned to follow InuYasha but spied the untouched cup of ramen on the table. She grabbed the cup in one hand and InuYasha's hand in the other as she dragged him through the house toward the back door.

“What are you doing with that, wench?” InuYasha asked as he pulled the door closed behind them and re-shouldered her new backpack. Her old one had been lost when the cavern collapsed.

Kagome shrugged. “Well, you weren't going to eat it, and I'm starving.”

InuYasha wrinkled his nose as he watched her dig into the ramen.

She caught his avid interest and giggled as she lifted an InuYasha-sized bite and extended the chopsticks toward him. He snorted and wrinkled his nose again but grudgingly let her feed him.

“After we do this,” Kagome said as she let InuYasha take the cup and chopsticks, “I don't know what will happen to the well. I just . . . if I'm with you, it's enough.”

InuYasha stared at her as she pushed open the well-house doors. She seemed calm, decided. She knew what had to be done, and yet . . . “Kagome, are you sure?”

For a moment, her smile faltered as she sat down on the edge of the well and waited for him. Sparing a moment to gaze around the old shrine building, she nodded slowly as her smile returned, as she met his gaze again. “I'm sure. Let's do it.”

He hopped up on the side of the well and took Kagome's hand. She squeezed his fingers as her smile widened. She nodded just a little, and he set the empty ramen cup on the edge of the well as he gathered her close. Together, the two dropped into the well and into the time slip again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  You sure about this, wench?


	81. Metamorphosis

 

~~ ** _Chapter 81_** ~~  
~ ** _Metamorphosis_** ~

 

“You sure about this, Kagome?”

Kagome leaned up on InuYasha's shoulder and nodded, giggling as his hair tickled her cheek. “Yes, InuYasha, I'm sure. I was sure when you asked last night. I was sure twenty minutes ago, too. This is what I want to do.”

InuYasha snorted as he tightened his grasp on her knees as they sailed over the treetops. The castle was well within view. Kagome snuggled closer to InuYasha and tried to quell the rising anxiety that trembled in her belly. “I gave this a lot of thought, you know? I'm sure it's what I'm supposed to do.”

InuYasha shrugged. “All right, but I'm warning you: that bastard won't thank you, so don't hold your breath.”

Kagome wrinkled her nose as she slowly shook her head. “I don't care if he does or not. It's the right thing to do. I know it is.”

InuYasha dropped to the ground just outside the tree line. Sniffing the air, he veered to the right as he sprinted through the open field. “You don't have to do it,” he remarked, careful to keep his tone neutral. “I'll protect you.”

Kagome sighed but smiled. “I know you will, InuYasha. I'm not scared of my responsibility. I want to do this.”

His golden gaze shifted to the side as he stared at her for a moment before letting his eyes sweep the horizon again. “You sure? That you want to stay here? I'll never be completely accepted, and—”

“You're wrong, you know? Your friends accept you. I accept you. Does it matter if people you don't know never do?”

He snorted. “Keh. Not really.”

She smiled again. “Good.”

InuYasha grinned a little then grimaced. “Keh! Damn! You'd think he could do something about that stench,” he complained as Kagome saw Sesshoumaru standing alone on a hill ahead of them. “He still reeks of that bastard,” he growled.

Kagome rolled her eyes and tugged InuYasha's hair. “He can't help it. That's how Kagura smelled, right? It's kind of ironic, isn't it? Naraku just wanted to destroy everything, but when he created Kagura . . .”

InuYasha snorted but didn't utter one of his more characteristic caustic replies.

Sesshoumaru's Mokomoko-sama blew in the breeze behind him, his hair whipping like a silky white banner. As still as a statue, the tai-youkai didn't move at all. If he sensed their approach, he didn't show it. Kagome knew better. She winced as the spiraling flow of his youki created an odd glow, the edges of the aura tinged and curled with the ever-lingering melancholy that Sesshoumaru masked so well.

InuYasha stopped and knelt down to let Kagome slide off his back. Sesshoumaru still didn't acknowledge them as his gaze swept over the rising and falling countryside.

“What do you want, InuYasha?” he finally asked without deigning to look at his half-brother or Kagome.

“Not a fucking thing, bastard,” InuYasha retorted easily.

“Then why are you here?”

“Keh. It wasn't _my_ choice,” he growled. “Kagome wanted to come.”

Sesshoumaru turned slowly, regarding Kagome through his narrowed gaze, expression as stoic as ever.

Kagome stepped forward as she grasped the Shikon no Tama, as she pulled it off with one quick jerk. Holding the undulating jewel in her open palm, she stared at it for a long moment.

“You're alive, in my time,” Kagome said quietly as she closed her hand around the jewel. “You are . . . and Kagura is, too . . . I didn't understand how that could be, because we saw her die. I finally understood something. Hisadaicho . . . she was wrong in doing what she did, and Kagura never should have had to suffer for it.”

Sesshoumaru's eyes slowly rose from the jewel in Kagome's hand to her face. She was calm, serene, unwavering in her resolve. She stood between the half-brothers like a silent catalyst, the Sacred Jewel of Four Souls the tie that bound them inexorably together. The bridge between fire and ice was a miko, a woman with a giving soul, a rare creature that somehow possessed the power to heal.

Kagome closed her eyes as she let her fingers fall open like a blossoming flower. She smiled, her lips trembling as the Shikon no Tama rose, hovering above her palm, bathing her hand in radiant light. It bobbled in the air as Kagome nodded. A tear escaped each of her closed eyes to trace iridescent paths down her cheeks as her smile widened, as the voice spoke to her, whispering like the breeze, and maybe only she could hear it.

` _Young woman, you have set me free_.'

` _Midoriko?_ '

` _Aye. For so long I have waited, I have fought, I have hoped. You wish for the dead to be returned to the living?_ '

` _Yes . . . to be alive, and to be free . . . Kagura was never free_ _. All she ever wanted was to be free and to be with Sesshoumaru_.'

` _You've heard it said that there are no truly selfless wishes_ ,' Midoriko's voice whispered. ` _The only true purity resides in the heart. In all the hearts I've encountered, Kagome, yours is the least tainted, and while a human heart can never be fully pure, the choices_ _you've made_ _—_ _the love that you ha_ _ve shown_ _—_ _this is what allows me to grant what you_ _ask._ _It is this love that_ _allows you to purify this jewel. Before I do this, Kagome . . . what is in your heart? Would you stay here with InuYasha? What of those you love in your time?_ '

Kagome hesitated only a moment. ` _InuYasha is my home. InuYasha is the one I belong with. I love my friends and my family, but I love InuYasha more_.'

Midoriko's soft laughter filled Kagome's heart with courage. ` _You chose to give life from your own body to ease the pain of your friends. You put your mate's needs before your own time and again, and you've given an orphan a place to call his home. Your actions speak not of selfishness but of pure and untainted love. For this, Kagome, and because you ask for nothing except the life of another, I will grant you a way to see those you love in your time. I grant you the freedom to pass through the well so long as InuYasha is with you_.'

Kagome gasped softly, eyes popping open as the jewel rose high above them all.

The jewel glowed brighter and brighter, the light engulfing the meadow. Kagome shielded her eyes against InuYasha's arm. He lifted his other sleeve to block his face as a fierce wind whipped at Kagome's hair, her skirt. The current seemed to emanate from the Shikon no Tama as it shattered in a flash of white light, and as quickly as the storm had come, it was gone, leaving behind an eerie silence, as though the world was waiting for a sign, a cue to resume living. A whisper of movement was little more than a gasp of air, a shallow inhalation as a silent flare sparked a life.

Sesshoumaru's sharply indrawn breath made Kagome open her eyes, and she blinked quickly as she stared, spellbound. Kagura stood before her, her face upturned as she stared at the sky. “I . . . I'm alive . . . I'm . . . free . . .”

“Kagura?”

The wind sorceress whirled around at the sound of Sesshoumaru's voice. Kagome blinked as tears welled in her eyes again. InuYasha slipped an arm around her waist and drew her close.

Kagura's chin dropped as she clasped her hands before her. “I wanted to tell you,” she admitted quietly. “I tried many times . . . I betrayed you, Sesshoumaru. I wasn't strong enough . . .”

Kagome caught InuYasha's hand and tugged. “Let's go,” she murmured as she led him away. “I did what I came here to do.”

InuYasha nodded, his eyes bright and full of a quiet sense of wonder. “You didn't have to do that,” he pointed out as he pulled her onto his back once more and set off into the forest.

Kagome sighed. “It's okay, InuYasha. I wanted to do it. Anyway, Midoriko . . . she spoke to me. She said she would leave the well open for us but we have to use it together.”

“Keh! As if I'm gonna let you run around alone, anyway. You always get in trouble that way, wench.”

Kagome grinned as she hugged InuYasha. “This is strange, isn't it?”

“What is?”

She giggled. “We don't have anywhere we have to be, nothing we have to hunt or fight . . . It's nice.”

“Yeah,” InuYasha finally agreed with a contented grin as he leapt above the trees, heading for home. “It is.”

 

:: ** _0::0::000::0::0_** ::

 

The night breeze filtered through the branches of Goshinboku as InuYasha pulled Kagome more securely against his chest.

Kagome heaved a sigh as she idly fingered the lock of InuYasha's hair that had fallen over her shoulder. “It isn't fair, you know,” she pointed out in a rather sulky tone.

“It ain't that bad, wench,” he assured her as he tried to hide his amusement.

“That's what you think,” she grumbled as she stared up at the night sky. “You made me rest for an entire week, dog-boy! Then the days of traveling to the Western Lands and back . . . and now I'm all better, and . . .” She trailed off with another disgusted sigh as she glared up at the full moon. She could swear that it was laughing at her. She wrinkled her nose.

“It's only one night, Kagome. You ain't gonna die. Maybe you've been around that damn monk too long. _Maybe_ it's a good thing they're moving back to the exterminators' village.”

Kagome sighed again but didn't bother to argue with him. “InuYasha? Not that I mean I want to now, this minute, but . . . do you ever want to have a baby?” she asked, carefully keeping her tone neutral.

“Nope.”

“Oh.”

“It ain't possible, anyway, wench. Last time I checked males couldn't do that.”

“Baka,” she retorted as she jerked on his hair.

“Oi!” he complained as he pulled his hair out of her grasp.

“Well, would you ever consider us having a baby of our own?”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. Maybe, as long as you understand that I _ain't_ changing diapers.”

She grinned. “You can't say you won't. What if I'm sick—?”

“Keh. You've got my fang, remember?”

“Or helping Kaede?”

“You're not leaving my sight, either.”

“Or doing something else at the time?”

“Again, a moot point.”

She craned her neck to pin her mate with a calculating stare. “Or we have twins?”

InuYasha's amusement disappeared at the mention of twins. “Then I'm sending them to live with their fucking uncle until they're out of diapers.”

Kagome blinked incredulously just before she dissolved into gales of laughter that rang through the forest and dissipated in the night.

“Kagome . . . are you sure you're all right now?” he asked when she finally wound down to a few small giggles.

“Sure. Why wouldn't I be?”

InuYasha shrugged as he rested his cheek against her hair. His tone was casual despite the discernable stiffening in his back, the worry in the tightening of his arms around her. “You were so tired . . . I never saw that much power from you, and . . .”

His words lingered in the air; his sentence didn't have to be finished. She could sense the tension brought on by his memories of that awful day. Kagome wiggled around to face him. “I knew you'd come for me,” she said softly as she turned his face toward hers with gentle fingers. “I wasn't afraid . . . I fought because I wanted to see you again, because I wanted to be with you again. I think I realized that you gave me strength. I kept telling myself that I could do that because I knew you'd be there soon.”

“How did you get rid of the tainted aura on the jewel?”

Kagome shrugged. “I didn't. I think that once Naraku's youki dissipated, so did his influence on the jewel.”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. That's too fucking easy, wench. I think you did something.”

“Nothing intentional.”

“Keh. You're stronger now.”

She blinked at the almost accusing tone in his voice. “I'm stronger because you taught me to be.”

“How do you figure?”

Kagome smiled. “Just by being you. You showed me how to be strong.”

“Keh. You're crazy,” he grumbled. Kagome could barely discern the hint of blush that dusted his cheeks in the semi-darkness.

His gaze brightened in the soft moonlight, full of emotion that he couldn't voice. She felt the changes in his aura, could sense the conflicting feelings that he struggled to keep in check. Kagome smiled gently as she stared back at him. “I think this power I feel now was there all along. I just never knew it.”

And that was true. InuYasha was her strength. He had been for a very long time. It struck Kagome how similar she was to Hisadaicho, in a way. Hisadaicho had been driven by love, and though her emotions had been warped and twisted by Naraku and his own greed, InuYasha's love had somehow lifted Kagome higher, given her hope in the darkness, given her strength to fight when her body had wanted to quit. One emotion that led to such different ends . . .

If Kagewaki had lived, would Emi have become what she did? The strange metamorphosis of a human girl's body and mind had been perverted and altered from the pure love she should have known.

Kagome had started out on a similar journey. The distinction was the day that she'd first seen InuYasha pinned to Goshinboku, she had chosen a different path. Maybe she wasn't enclosed in a cocoon to undergo her own changes, but the end result had brought her here. Every choice she'd made in her life seemed to have led to this moment, and despite the tears and the pain that she'd experienced along the way, she realized that she wouldn't change a thing. Maybe in that sense, she was a butterfly, too.

Even if the world continued to change, even if they had to face more challenges or deal with enemies, Kagome knew in her heart that InuYasha would still be with her because he chose to be, just as she chose to be with him. That was the difference. There was no desperation; they had no regrets. In the end they had each other, and that thought made her smile

“You know, InuYasha, I think I figured out why they called me the `miko of legend',” she murmured into the quiet.

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. Why's that?”

Her smile widened as she cuddled closer to him, as she turned a little more to wrap her arms around his waist. “Because you wanted me to be.”

“I did?”

She giggled. “Didn't you?”

“Maybe,” he confessed, his voice gruff but his tone gentle. “But you're _my_ `miko of legend'. Don't forget that.”

Kagome lifted her chin and felt his lips flutter over hers as soft as a butterfly's wings. “Just keep reminding me, dog-boy.”

“Keh!” he scoffed before his lips returned with a kiss meant to silence her.

It did.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> **Final Thought from InuYasha:**  
>  … Pups …?


	82. Epilogue

 

 

~~ ** _Epilogue_** ~~

 

InuYasha tried to hide his smile as Kagome dropped her bag on the bed and shifted her glare to him. “What's so funny?” she demanded as she rubbed the small of her back furiously. “And it had better not have a thing to do with the way I walk, either.”

InuYasha schooled his features and blinked innocently. “Funny? What? I wasn't laughing.”

Kagome snorted and turned to the side as she smoothed her blouse over her distended belly and glowered at her reflection in the mirror over her bureau. “I look like I swallowed a whale, InuYasha,” she whined. “ _Look_ at me!”

“Well, wench, you're so damn big, I can't _help_ but look at you,” he deadpanned then ducked when she threw a paperweight at his head.

“You're such a jerk,” she pointed out as she rummaged through her drawers for something else to chuck at him. “You're worse than Miroku---kami, I can't believe I just said that.”

InuYasha did chuckle this time as he leaned forward to catch Kagome around the waist and pulled her down onto his lap, flattening his ears as she squealed. “You're the one who wouldn't give it a rest. You're the one who just _had_ to have a pup,” he pointed out.

“Well, I didn't hear you complaining about it,” she shot back. “Weren't you the one who _had_ to announce it to everyone?”

InuYasha snorted. “Keh! That wasn't my fault.”

Kagome rolled her eyes. “It was,” she argued.

“Keh! Shippou knows better than to go hurling himself at you, anyway.”

“At the time he didn't.”

“But he does now.”

“Now, sure. Then, no.”

InuYasha made a face. “They'd have figured it out sooner or later anyway,” he pointed out.

She rolled her eyes again. “You bellowed it loud enough for everyone in a hundred mile radius to have heard you, dog-boy.”

He couldn't hide his smile this time. “I did, didn't I?”

She shook her head. “You're a lost cause, InuYasha.”

“Can we go back now?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, in a minute,” Kagome agreed as she struggled to stand up. In the end, InuYasha had to give her a little push which made him chuckle until she pinned him with a pouty glare. His chuckling escalated as he hopped up, snatching her backpack so she wouldn't have to bend down to retrieve it. “The doctor said that everything is fine and that it's normal to put on more weight with a hanyou baby,” she remarked as she followed him into the hallway, “but this is just ridiculous. I've gained nearly sixty pounds, and I'm not even due for another month!”

InuYasha cleared his throat loudly as she stepped down on the first stair behind him. She snorted but obediently gripped the railing since it wouldn't do any good to argue with him about that, either. “You know, this won't really do much good if I fall,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, well try not to, wench. You'll crush me with your extra sixty pounds.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I ought to fall on purpose for that remark.”

“Nah, you'll hurt the pup.”

Kagome sighed. “Did you remember Marisaiko's birthday present?” InuYasha glanced back over his shoulder as a step creaked under Kagome's foot. “Say it and I'll hurt you, InuYasha,” she warned before he could make a comment on that, too.

“Yes, I stuck the present in the bag. No, I wasn't gonna comment on the toll your weight is taking on the house, and you know, you're really grouchy today, Kagome.”

Her eyes flashed dangerously as she stomped down the last few steps. “You're such a---”

“Kami, Kagome, was that you or were we having an earthquake?” Souta teased as he stuck his head out of the kitchen.

Kagome's cheeks blossomed in indignant color as her features shifted into an irate scowl as she yanked her coat off the wall peg. “Bye, Mama! I'm going back now so I don't knock down the shrine with my massive weight!”

InuYasha had to run to catch up with Kagome as she streaked toward the back door. She slammed it in his face, and with a few choice swear words that accompanied his amazement that she could still move that quickly, he stopped in time to avoid crashing face-first into the edifice. Teasing, Kagome could stand. Today, though, she was definitely being more touchy than normal. ` _All right_ ,' he allowed as he jerked the door open and darted outside after his wife and mate, ` _maybe I should lay off for awhile_.'

She was sitting on the side of the well with a mulish expression as she kicked her feet against the ground. InuYasha skidded to a stop and leaned in the doorway, wondering what the odds were that he wasn't going to have to apologize for his obnoxious behavior. The last time she'd been this irritated with him was months ago when she'd informed him that she didn't want to know what sex the pup was. When InuYasha had found out that it was possible to find out before it was born, he'd wanted to know. Kagome wanted it to be a surprise. They'd argued about it awhile but when Kagome had pulled that face on him, he'd given in, and they still didn't know.

The trouble was, she was just too adorable in her pup-induced chubbiness, and since he tended to get tongue-tied when faced with something like that, he resorted to the only other way he had to tell her. Unfortunately the teasing was obviously getting to her. He sighed. ` _Baka_.'

Shifting his gaze from her to the silver band on his finger, InuYasha smiled. To get her grandfather off his back, he had married Kagome just after they'd returned from bringing Kagura back to life. At least, that's the reason InuYasha gave in, or so he let them all think. To add insult to injury, Kagome had happily invited Sesshoumaru and Kagura to their wedding, and damn his rotten luck if the bastard hadn't agreed to come.

That was almost two and a half years ago now. Hard to believe that it had been that long. Harder still to believe that Marisaiko was three years old. The girl was an odd mix of miscreant and angel, and InuYasha didn't doubt for a moment that the `miscreant' part was her father's influence. `Course, with a mother like Sango and a doting `aunt' like Kagome, he also didn't doubt that the girl would outgrow her father's impact.

Sighing as he stared at his mate once more, InuYasha's ears flattened guiltily when he saw that the upset in her expression hadn't lessened. “I'm sorry,” he grumbled as he waited for her tirade to begin. She didn't speak, and his ears flattened even more. “I didn't mean it,” he hurried on to say as he forced himself out of the doorway and hopped down the stairs.

“InuYasha . . .”

He winced. “I said I was sorry,” he grouched.

“No, InuYasha . . .”

He frowned. Something in her voice . . . Kneeling down in front of her, he pushed her hair out of her face and scowled. “What's wrong?”

She shook her head as her eyes met his. “It's time.”

InuYasha's mind blanked. “Time for what? You hungry again? If you don't stop eating, wench---”

“Baka! It's time for the baby!”

If his mind had just blanked, it stopped functioning completely at that. “Wh-Wh-What?”

Kagome winced as she pitched forward. Reflex alone moved his arms to catch her as her face contorted in pain. A low whine escaped him as an unsettling sense of déjà vu crept up his spine. “Y-you can't have it yet!” he insisted as he swept her up and ran for the shrine. “It's not supposed to be done for another fucking month!”

“Tell the baby that,” Kagome grunted as she tried to breathe.

“Damn it!” InuYasha growled as he kicked open the back door and bellowed for Mrs. Higurashi.

“Oh, no!” Kagome moaned as she tried to squirm out of InuYasha's arms.

“What?”

“Mari's birthday . . . I promised Sango we'd be there . . .”

InuYasha blinked in amazement then snorted as he shot Mrs. Higurashi an imploring look. “Don't you think this is just a little more important, Kagome?”

Mrs. Higurashi was trying not to smile. “Of course it is, dear. I'm sure Sango will understand.”

Kagome started to cry.

InuYasha winced as he followed Mrs. Higurashi out of the shrine toward the waiting minivan as Souta revved the engine. If having the pup was going to be as trying as it had been when she'd had Marisaiko, he was in for a very, very long night . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

**_A/N_** :

**_== == == == == == == == == ==_**

**_Notes from my beta readers_** :  
_These are the gals that keep me laughing, aggravate me to no end, and generally tell me off when I start whining. No joke, they're a huge reason why Meta was completed. It's only right that they should now be allowed to speak whatever they've got on their minds_.

**_==========_**

**_Sari-15 (Hentai Beta #1_** ** _aka The Baby-Belly-Beta_** ** _)_** :  
_During the end of_ **_Chronicles_** _, Sue began brainstorming what exactly she wanted to do for her next story. When she mentioned having Kagome carry a child for Miroku and Sango, I was shocked. All I could think about was poor Sango, Sue sure had a knack for torturing her by not letting her have children. The only real concern I had, was how people would react to_ _Kagome having Miroku's child, t_ _hough I had no idea the controversy it would snowball into. Some of Sue's younger fans couldn't handle the idea of Kagome having Miroku's child, refusing to see past the point that it was Miroku's and Kagome's baby. It was not...It was Kagome's sacrifice to Sango, given to her from pure love. The way that Sue handled the whole situation moved me; she didn't discount the fact that her choices would be difficult ones to make for Kagome. That they would hurt her, she would feel guilt about the way it made her feel. Kagome is human, although an extremely caring and giving one. I wonder if any of the early readers who were so adamant against her having the baby for Sango are still around reading. I am curious to see if they now think differently about how they felt about Kagome's choice_.

**_==========_**

**_picesanela007 (Hentai Beta #2 aka All Things Dogs and Dirty Beta)_** :  
_It's been a long interesting ride with ups and downs, both in the fanfic itself and in the controversy that it created amongst the readers. Personally, I greatly enjoyed this fic and found it to contain a very interesting subject matter. I am very thankful that Sue is willing to share her wonderful stories with myself and everyone else who reads them. These are wonderful pieces of writing that have helped brighten my life during some dark moments. Not only have I found great stories to read, but I have found great friends in Sue and the other betas-for this I am eternally grateful. Because these are my friends, I don't like any of them to get hurt. I thank the people who sent it nice reviews to Sue: these make her day. However, for those of you who cannot get past your petty jealousness and send very hurtful reviews… I wish I could make it so you could never review a fic again, but there are laws that protect against those sorts of things. If you have a problem with a fic, then stop reading it-you don't have to send hurtful reviews. But, if you have something to say…have the balls to say it somewhere that Sue can defend herself. I'm sorry there are so many ungrateful peons out there, but those of you that read these fics and enjoy them, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I look forward to anything else Sue writes in the future, and remember there are always betas lurking around somewhere._ =)

**_==========_**

**_angelica incarnate (Hentai Beta #3 aka the Baby Beta)_** :  
_I started working with Sue as she was finishing up_ **_Chronicles_** _and starting to plan out_ **_Metamorphosis_** _. Since day one, it had been an honor and pure pleasure. Sue is probably one of the funniest, most intelligent people I've ever spoken with and_ **_Meta_** ** _morphosis_** _shows that. This story shows incredible emotional depth and character growth. For those who begged for lemons? Sue writes emotion-love-making, not sex... go find some nice, hentai PWPs… don't make Sue cry by lowering her beautiful scenes to fanservice. To the faithful_ _reviewers, ESPECIALLY Darkless_ _Vasion of MMorg, you guys are great, I love reading your reviews._ _Ironically enough, so does Sue. (HINT: read mine, they're often planted and drop hints, lol.) To the other betas and Sue… I have no words for you girls… you are so far beyond fantastic and some of the most wonderful friends anyone could have. Can't wait for the next adventure to begin_.

**_==========_**

**_KimberCat (NONhentai beta)_** :  
_As always, seeing one of Sue's stories come to an end is a bittersweet moment. I know I'm not alone in saying that. We spend the entirety of the story wanting to know what happens, what the conclusion is after we've felt like we've been beside the characters every step of the way, anticipating and dreading the end almost equally._ **_Metamorphosis_** _is, to say the very least, one of the most beautiful, emotionally driven, fanfic story I have had the pleasure to read and honor to beta. Thank you Sue, though that doesn't say enough. I would like to say to those reviewers out there that gave Sue heartfelt, kind and polite comments that your words mean so much to her. It's for people like you that these stories are put up and shared. To those that were less polite, I hope that you will take what I just said into consideration_.

**_==========_**

**_Heyyoudiana (The Grammatical Wiz Beta_** ** _, Mistress of All That IS_** ** _Mokomoko-sama_** ** _)_** :  
_The adoption of a fictional world implies an awareness of a disunity with reality where there once was unity: the conscious human decision to adopt the fictional world must have arisen from a sense of loss or absence and the desire to bridge the chasm. I adopted Sue's fictional world; "Metamorphosis" becoming the conduit to characters whose lives I refused to disassociate myself from. Buttressing the characters (which are proudly disclaimed each chapter) is an intricate weaving of one's life. Sue is willing to offer up her thoughts - mind, emotions, and soul - for public viewing. An exacting task completed without recompense. Offerings in kind are appreciated… Vain derision is not. As a panegyrist I may be flawed, but yet I ask before the epergne is sealed, throw a laurel upon the briar_.

**_==========_ **

**_Frequently Asked Questions:_**

**_::Gasp!:: How could you not tell what the baby is???_**  
_Isn't it enough to know that they'll have their happily ever after_? 

**_Was Metamorphosis written before I posted it?_**  
_Nope. Well, most chapters were done the day or so before they appeared. They did have to go to the betas for pickings_! 

**_Do I have a grudge against Sango being able to have her own babies?_**  
_Heh. No. I really needed it in_ **_Chronicles_** _, as a reason for her and Miroku to WANT to go to the future. I needed it here to_ _be a catalyst for Kagome and InuYasha's relationship._ **_Metamorphosis_** _has been hugely the story of Kagome's inner changes, of her choices, and of what she feels in her heart_. 

**_Will I ever write an alternate pairing or an A/U fic?_**  
_Though I hate to say `never', I think it is safe to say it here. Nope, never will I write an alternate pairing (nothing but Yasha/Kagome, Sango/Miroku, Sesshoumaru/Kagura----or her reincarnation). Ehhhhhhhh… I also won't write an Alternate Universe_. 

**_What is my next real project? Hints?_**  
_Hmm… It is a Yasha/Kagome fic, it is a continuation, and it should prove to be humorous, if not a little angsty, as well. There's no working title as yet, but … well … it should be goooood_ … 

**_Original fictions?_**  
_I've done many original fictions, some of which can be found on Media Miner, so feel free to check those out_!

**_Totally Useless Statistic_** :  
_Total Reviews for all five posted websites: 4550+ Reviews archived, and yes, I've read every one of them, and they are all very precious to me! More precious than many will ever realize_.

**_==========_**

**_Final Thought from_** **_THE SUERIC_** :  
_Muahahahahahhahahahaha … you asked for a hanyou baby, there it is… you never said you wanted to know if it was a girl or a boy_ …

 

 

 

 

 

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**Author's Note:**

> Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in **Metamorphosis** ): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.
> 
> ~Sue~


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